So, I decided to give up on trying to create their accents. I don't have a reasonable excuse, besides the fact that I'm lazy and not having that much focus to try and think up their accents in my head so I could write it better. I also put 90% of my APH otps here, so beware. BTW, happy birthday America! *blows party popper* (Also, sorry if I portrayed Japan wrong. I may or may not have made him a bit mean.)
I do not own Hetalia: Axis Powers.
Almost getting pulverised by a Miranda Kerr cut out wasn't exactly the best way to start off a shopping trip. Arthur would've been squished if his (on-and-off) best friend, Francis, hadn't grabbed the back of his hair and pulled him out of the way.
"What was that for?" He accused, rubbing the sore spot that the Frenchman had grabbed.
Francis merely gave a shrug. "I saved your life, doesn't matter how I exactly did it."
"It sorta does. I could've avoided it, just so you know." Arthur wiped imaginary dust off his shoulders as he said that.
"I don't think you would've had enough time when you were done pissing your pants." Francis snickered as Arthur glared holes into his back.
"Look, asshole, I could have clearly avoided that fake model without p- HEY, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!" In the middle of his rant, Francis had already walked out of the bright-colored store and was heading towards the escalator. Arthur hurried to catch up, throwing "sorry" and "excuse me" to everbody he had to walk around.
When he finally caught up, Francis was already halfway down the moving staircase.
Arthur pouted. "You could've waited for me."
"Not in the midst of your infamous rant, sweetie." Francis condescendingly patted the mop of blonde hair on Arthur's head. Arthur lightly punched his friend's arm as they reached the bottom. In front of them stood the mall's fountain, the smell of chlorine-filled water filling their noses. Teenagers gossiped whilst sitting on the seats surrounding the fountain as kids reached to grab coins people threw to the bottom in exchange for a wish.
The duo began walking aimlessly around, looking for a shop when Francis suddenly pointed to their right.
"Look, a Steve Madden store! I haven't been there in forever!" Francis cried out, grabbing hold of Arthur's hand and dragging him to the doorway.
Arthur attempted to pull his pale hand away, failing miserably as he lacked upper-body strength. "I don't want to go in there! Last time, I accidently let it slip that I was gay, and every teenage girl wanted me to help them pick out clothes!"
Francis threw a smirk over his shoulder. "Then don't say you're gay. Learn from your past mistakes, Artie."
"What about my accent? Girls care more about British guys than their sexuality!" Francis waved his hand, shooing off the shorter man's concerns like they were flies.
"Details, details. If they come at you, I'll just seduce them with my suavity."
Arthur rose his bushy brows. "Is that even a word?" A/N It is.
"Just... shut up for a minute." They were already in the store and Francis stopped in front of the Men's section.
"Now," Francis clapped his hands together. "Let's go crazy." He sprinted off further into the store, leaving a fuming British man staring at Superman printed boxers.
"Idiot."
He wandered around, everything he found appealing being too expensive or not in his size. After what he thought was half an hour, he finally settled for a grey jacket he found on sale, strolling outside to see Francis leaning over a young girl who was looking highly uncomfortable.
As he walked closer, he could hear bits and pieces of French he couldn't translate (Francis's way of trying to get laid) and the girl trying to politely object his attempts to get in her pants.
Ready to smack his horny friend, he suddenly got a rather genius idea and the beginnings of a smirk played at his lips. He put on a stoic face and grabbed Francis's ear.
"What are you doing to this poor girl?" He added maturity to his voice, as to sound older than his 24 year-old age.
"Ow, what?" Francis attempted to pull at the hand that clutched his ear, resulting in Arthur pinching it harder. He winced.
"I did not raise you so you could make moves on some innocent girl when she CLEARLY doesn't want to bang you." The girl's cheeks turned red at that statement.
"Raise me?" Francis questioned. "What're yo-,"
"You shut your mouth. When we get home, you're going to have to speak to your mother." He began to walk away, pulling the blonde's ear with him. When they were out of ear shot and Arthur couldn't see the girl anymore, he pulled his hand back and began laughing, holding his stomach and bending over.
Francis rubbed his aching ear. "Okay, ow. Second, why did you act like my father?!"
Arthur could hardly speak with tears brimming the corners of his eyes. "I... h-had to get, *snicker* you back for... PULLING MY HAIR!" The last of his sentence came out in a rush as he recalled the ear-pulling events. His laugh began all over again as he grabbed the back of a bench, not being able to hold himself up on his own anymore.
Francis flicked the back of Arthur's head, aiming for the place where he pulled his hair. "Oh, hah hah. I didn't rub it in your face when I saved your life."
Arthur was finally able to pull himself together, rubbing his head where Francis flicked him. "Yeah, okay."
Francis glared and walked off, Arthur quickening his pace to catch up to him. "Let's buy clothes so we can pick up chicks at the club, alright?"
"I still can't believe you convinced me to go with you."
"I can't believe I had to bribe you into coming with a dozen bags of tea."
Arthur smacked Francis's arm as he laughed. "Hey, tea will get you somewhere in life."
Francis flicked his friend's arm in return. "You're literally the only one who thinks that."
...
"Come on, dude! We need, like, a million fireworks!" An eccentric (almost) twenty-one year-old cried out, running through the aisles of Target like an excited toddler.
"Wait, this isn't Wal-Mart. You can't scream out." A black-haired man quickly pushed an empty shopping cart over to the eccentric American who had stopped in front of the Fourth-of-July section which, (surprise, surprise) held various fireworks.
"Seriously, Alfred," the Japanese man started after he caught up. "I know it's your birthday, but please, be a bit more shameful!"
Alfred turned with a smirk. "Kiku, I think you get a get-out-of-jail-free card for almost anything if it's your 'Drink Legally Today' birthday!" He looked back at the wide array of firecrackers, grabbing an armful and placing them in the cart. Kiku sweat-dropped as the American repeated this process, knowing he had volunteered to pay for their shopping trip as Alfred's gift.
"Um, I think we have enough." Alfred rose an eyebrow as he looked at the half full cart.
"I guess this will do. Now, let's get food, I'm starving!"
Kiku grabbed his arm and glared. "I just got you five BLTs, we're not getting food anytime soon." Alfred pouted as the older man let go of his arm.
"You're not fun."
"Shall we put away all these fireworks, then?" Kiku rose a brow, as if asking the American to fight back.
Alfred waved his hands in front of his face. "Now let's not be hasty, dear Kiku."
"Sōdarou to omotta yo." Alfred hadn't understood what the shorter man said, but he assumed it was sarcastic judging by the tone he had used. Not being one to back down from a challenge, he stood in front of their shopping cart, preventing Kiku from moving forward.
"Say that in a language I do understand, yeah?"
Kiku rolled his eyes at the defensive stance Alfred had acquired. "Whatever, Al." The American claimed this as a victory and gave a heroic laugh.
They continued browsing the aisles when Alfred saw a young woman in ridiculously high heels.
"We should go to a club." Kiku didn't process this automatically as Alfred had said like you would ask for the time, but when he did, he almost got whiplash when turning his head to look at the American, who still stared at the woman.
"Wait, what?"
"Club, for my birthday. We should go."
"Umm, I'm not sure if I should go. Where did that even come from?"
"See that lady in the skyscraper heels? She is practically the human version of a club and-,"
"And I'm the human version of Japan." Kiku interrupted, rolling his eyes.
"She just made me feel like going to go to a club. Can we?" Alfred used the same tone a six-year old would use to go to Chuck E. Cheese's.
Kiku smacked his forehead. "Al, no." He walked off, Alfred tugging the back of his shirt.
"Al, yes. C'mon, dude. It's the perfect place, we don't even have to make reservations! Just call up everybody and meet there."
Kiku turned his head, still pushing the cart. "And what club would we even go to, hmm?"
Alfred thought for a moment before a sparkle appeared in his eyes. Kiku saw it and immediately stopped pushing the cart.
"No, no. Not there. We are not going to the headquarters of sluts."
Alfred pouted. "C'mon, man. It's really not that bad, and do you even know what club I'm thinking of?"
"Of course! You always have that look when you want to go to that club. And is this another excuse for you to find 'The One'?" The dark-haired man did air-quotes when he said, "The One".
Alfred grinned as he slung his arm around Kiku's shoulders. "Dude, you don't know. I could find him or her if I just look.
Kiku peeled Alfred's hand from around his shoulder. "Ever since that movie 'Frozen' came out, you feel like you will always meet 'The One' whenever you go out."
"This is why you're single."
Kiku threw his hands up in exasperation. "You're single, too!"
"Please, can we just go? I'll owe you." Alfred immediately regretted those words as soon as they left his mouth. An evil smile played at the corners of Kiku's lips.
"Okay, we'll go. But you'll owe me." He walked off, a devious plan forming in his head.
Ah, shit. Alfred thought.
...
"Oh, fuck me." Arthur said, looking at all the bright colored lights.
"Gladly, hot stuff." A sultry voice replied, dancing towards him. It belonged to a girl who seemed too young to be dancing in a club.
"Back off." A Russian accent warned, stepping in front of Arthur as he smiled evilly at the young girl.
"Fine, not like I'd do you anyway." She glared at the four men before flippping her blonde extensions and walking off, swaying her hips too forcefully.
"Thanks, Ivan." Arthur smiled as Ivan grabbed Yao's hand.
"No problem. We dance now, da?" He dragged the Chinese man away, him struggling under his grip.
"W-Wait! Help me, aru!" Yao tried grabbing Francis's hand, but Francis pulled it out of his range.
"You guys don't get too freaky now!" The Frenchman called out before pulling onto Arthur's hand. "First things first, you and I are having a drink."
Arthur objected, trying prying his hand away from Francis's grip. "Who says I want to drink?" He nervously looked at all the people dancing around and the neon lights flickering on-and-off, creating a rave party. He did not fit in in this sort of environment.
Francis's azure eyes twinkled with mischief. "Honhonhon, I'm sure you'll like this particular drink." Arthur shivered at his tone, already knowing this would not result in anything good for him.
They walked towards the bar, narrowly avoiding drunks and girls grinding everywhere (Arthur had to tear Francis away from a guy who gave him 'bedroom eyes', so he says).
They stopped in front of the bar where a worker wearing a tacky black tie was drying a wine glass. When he saw the two arrive and take a seat, he put away the now dry glass and leaned against the counter.
"What would you boys like?" He had a sexy Southern drawl to his voice, but Francis paid no mind to it.
"Two cups of tequila. Little lighter for this fellow." Francis cocked his head towards Arthur, whose face went red with embarassment. A/N I never really went to a club, so I wouldn't know how to order
The bartender quickly poured them two glasses (one mixed with water for Arthur) and handed it towards them. Francis grabbed the two glasses and handed the water-mixed one to Arthur.
"Bottoms up," was all he had said before downing his. Arthur took a sip before hiding the disgust that washed over his face.
"How can you drink this? It's so...," he tried to look for a word that described the drink's taste. "So bitter."
Francis gave him a grin. "You want the real deal?"
Arthur shook his head, forcing the rest of the drink to go down his throat. He inwardly gagged, forbidding himself from ever allowing this beverage to enter his mouth again.
"You want another?" Framcis offered, already calling for another glass and guzzling it. Arthur quickly shook his head.
"N-No thanks. How about we just go dance?" He dragged the Frenchman towards the dance floor before he could crink himself to death.
Francis smiled happily as he began to shake with the music, already finding a girl to grind his hips on. Arthur chuckled and began to walk away before bumping into a large figure.
"Oh, pardon me. I didn't mean to-,"
"Hey, you look pretty cute. You wanna head over to my place?" A rough voice asked, and Arthur looked up to see a built man who looked too old to be partying. Besides, it was only 9:30, too early to sleep with a stranger.
Arthur tried to walk around the older man, but was blocked several times. "No thanks. I'm looking for someone." He lied. He wasn't like Francis, who was always eager to get jump into someone's pants. Call him cliche, but he believed in true love.
"Look for him later," the bloke tried to convince him. "C'mon, loosen up. Come with me."
"Hey man, I'm pretty sure I heard him say no." An unknown voice said.
...
"Party, yaaayy~!" Feliciano cried out. He ran towards the buffet table. "I wonder if they have pasta~!"
Ludwig grabbed the back of Feli's dress shirt. "I told you not to run off without me."
"Then come with me!" The perky Italian ran off, his speed catching the uptight German off guard. Once he realized Feliciano was gone, he began to chase after him.
"I said stop running off!" Ludwig disappeared with the crowd, leaving Alfred and Kiku alone. The Japanese man feared what was to come.
Alfred smiled as headed towards the dance floor. "Hurry up, Kiku. There's a reason it's called a dance floor." Alfred stated, putting emphasis on 'dance floor'. He walked ahead, knowing Kiku was going to follow him.
"I don't know how to dance." Kiku nagged, catching up.
Alfred waved it off. "Dude, it's a club, not a ball. Just watch everybody dance; aren't you always interested in learning other people's cultures?" Alfred had a point, Kiku had just moved to America a year ago and was desperately trying to learn as much as he could about different cultures.
Kiku tried to think of an arguement, but he was stumped. The American had him.
They walked onto the dance floor and Alfred began moving with to the music, growing more and more outrageous and creative with every passing second. Kiku shook his head as he observed all the dancers (excluding Alfred) before his eyes landed on tall, built male. He didn't recognize his nationality and he looked out of place for he stood still as a statue. The man suddenly sensed Kiku's staring and looked over to him. Kiku shivered; his eyes were a piercing green, like he could see the inside of your soul if he wasn't looking through it.
The man walked towards him and Kiku inwardly panicked. What should he do? Run? Get Alfred? Attack? Before he could decide, the man was already in front of him and Kiku had to strain his neck to directly look at his face.
"You were staring?" He was blunt. Kiku blushed and looked down (he hardly ever blushed).
"Hai, sorry if I bothered or creeped you out."
"You'd make a cute neko. I'm Heracles." The man stuck his hand out; he held an odd accent. Kiku shyly shook his hand, still dazed by the neko comment.
"My name's Kiku. I'd be a... neko?"
Heracles gave a quick nod. "Yes, a tail and two cat ears would nicely suit you."
Kiku's blush hardened. "If you don't mind my asking, I don't seem to recognize your accent. Where are you from?"
"Greece." Kiku's eyes widened. He'd never met a Greek before. Before he could further question Heracles, Alfred suddenly butted in.
"You can just take this guy. He's free tonight." Alfred was also blunt, but not in a good way. Kiku almost hit Alfred before he had his arm grabbed and was dragged away.
"σας ευχαριστώ." Heracles said before he and Kiku vanished into the thick crowd.
Alfred chuckled, thinking how mad Kiku would be at him when he came back. Before he could go back to dancing, he heard a pair of voices.
"No thanks. I'm looking for someone." The voice was British, Alfred could automatically tell. The other was American.
"Look for him later. C'mon, loosen up. Come with me." Alfred walked over, annoyed that the persistent man couldn't take a hint.
"Hey man, I'm pretty sure I heard him say no." The man turned around, piercing grey eyes glaring at Al.
"What do you want, scumbag?" Alfred placed a hand over his heart, feigning pain.
"That hurt my feelings. I'm was just here to protect my boyfriend." He waved his hand towards the man he assumed was British. "You understand, right?" He gave an Ivan smile.
The older man sneered and spat on the ground, walking off. "Not like I'd bang him anyways, with the kind of guy he goes after."
Alfred ignored his comment and looked towards the British guy. He stuck his hand out, offering a hand shake. "I'm Jones. Alfred Jones."
The man ignored it. "Arthur. What's with the James Bond reference?"
Alfred awkwardly took his hand away, rubbing the back of his head. "Favorite franchise, you?"
Arthur glared. "Sorry, not in the mood for small talk. Why did you say I'm your boyfriend?" He crossed his arms
"I was in the heat of the moment. You needed help and heroes always save the damsel in distress, right?"
"Okay first: I am not a damsel in distress. Second, who said I needed help?"
"Okay, you probably had it under control, but it guess it was instinct? Cut me some slack." Arthur's eyes softened as he saw the distressed look Alfred wore.
"Fine, fine. You can make it up to me by...," Arthur tried to think of something he could get out of the American, his large brows furrowed, but came up with nothing.
"How about we set off fireworks together?" Alfred suggested, the usual glint coming back to life in his eyes.
Arthur rolled the idea over in his head. He wasn't very big about Fourth of July for obvious reasons, but decided it was a harmless suggestion. "I suppose."
Alfred gave a silly grin before running outside to his truck to grab the fireworks Kiku had bought. Arthur rushed out to help him.
"Did you seriously buy all these?" Arthur questioned, seeing the miscellaneous explosives.
Afred laughed. "Why, of course not! A friend of mine did." He had somehow managed to carry them all and was now heading to a vacant field that sat across the street.
Arthur hurried after him. "Shouldn't we wait for everyone else to set off theirs'?"
"Heroes wait for no one!"
"What's with this whole 'hero' thing you got going on, anyway?"
Alfred looked at him, setting down all the fireworks. He seemed to be in really deep thought before he finally came up with a suitable answer.
"All my role models happened to be superheroes, but I don't consider myself super. So I just go with 'hero'." Alfred's childish blue eyes glazed over, as if he was reminiscing over a fond memory.
Arthur didn't push any further, helping Alfred set up the fireworks. It was a bit tricky, neither of them having little to no experience, and Alfred refusing to read the directions.
"Why don't you just to read the instructions? We could possibly blow ourselves up, you know." Arthur argued, attempting to get the American to stop being so stubborn.
"Because that's a sign showing weakness. And if I were to blow myself up, at least it'd be with someone cute." Arthur's cheeks turned rosy as he turned back to setting up the firecracker he started on a few minutes ago.
...
"Finally!" Alfred cried out, falling onto his back.
Arthur crossed his arms and looked down at him. "It would've gone quicker, if you'd just read the manual."
"Hey, man. I didn't want to, but I didn't say YOU couldn't."
Arthur's face turned red with anger. "GIT!" He cried out, resulting in Alfred laughing, rolling over and onto his side. An hour had passed while they were busy setting up their fireworks, and some people had already shot their fireworks, the noises scaring Arthur into jumping onto Alfred (the American thought it was cute).
Alfred got a match box from his coat pocket. "You ready to see some fireworks?"
Arthur nodded, a smile forming on his face. "Well, I didn't spend that last hour for nothing, did I?"
Alfred grinned and struck a match before leaning down to a string that poked out from the butt of a firecracker. He lit it and sat next to Arthur as they watched the spark travel upwards until it reached the bottom of the explosive.
They looked upwards, the firecracker following their line of sight as it shot into the night sky, creating dazzling colors that formed the American flag. They repeated this process, more patterns being created (there was a dick that Alfred laughed at while Arthur glared at him).
During the last few fireworks, Alfred sneaked a glance over to Arthur, who was mesmerized at the bright colors and popping sounds. His light green eyes were filled with wonder and he looked absolutely endearing at that moment.
Before Alfred could process what he was doing, he leaned over and grabbed Arthur's chin, turning his head and kissing his lips. Arthur's eyes widened when the American pulled away.
"What was that for?" Arthur questioned, his cheeks turning fiery red.
"I'm sorry, you're just really cute." He leaned over, trapping Arthur under his arm and leaning closer to his face.
Arthur placed his hands on Alfred's chest. "W-Wait, you can't just-,"
"It's my birthday today." Alfred cut off, his voice husky. Arthur shivered as Alfred kissed him once again.
He moaned when he felt Alfred's hand slip under his shirt, touching his six-string tattoo.
"Can we at least go somewhere more private?" Arthur requested, his voice coming out smaller than he expected.
Alfred carried him to his truck, placing him on the car seats and kissing him feverishly.
If there was a short way to describe what Alfred experienced that night, it was that it was the best birthday present he'd ever gotten.
TRANSLATIONS
Sōdarou to omotta yo = That's what I thought
Hai = Yes
Neko = Cat
σας ευχαριστώ = Thank you
Well, since it's almost 6 A.M and I haven't slept yet, I'll see you lovelies in my next story.