My name is Max Lightwood. I am- was- nine. I never received my first rune. I never had my first kiss. I never started training. I never attended a clave meeting. I never killed a demon.
My name is Max Lightwood. I never turned ten.
I can only watch now. Watch my older brother light my funeral pry from above. I can only watch my sister cry over a wooden soldier I always wanted to be. I watched my hero, Jace, stare at the celing, wondering if it really was worth it after all.
I want to be there for them. I want to comfort Izzy, tell Alec it was okay he was gay. I wanted to tell Jace he didn't have to be indestructible. I wanted to curl onto my moms arms, beg her not to give up on dad. But I can't.
Jace was here. I got to see his sad smile one more time. I got to tell him I was sorry, and then an angel came for him. It's harder saying goodbye the second time.
It harder when you're the one left behind.