There are times when a woman has to say what's on her mind
Even though she knows how much it's gonna hurt
Before I say another word let me tell you, I love you
Let me hold you close and say these words as gently as I can
Akito took a deep breath as she decided to tell Shigure about James.
Sweet yet foolish and cold James whom she met on her 3 months vacation in USA. He was blond with very cold eyes and same cold heart yet he seemed to like her. They met in a cafe and landed that same night in his bed. More then that they didn't really share but he made her feel good somehow.
She knew nothing would be the same but it was everything or nothing.
"Shigure, I love you very much... I honestly love you with all my heart." I crept into his lap and wrapped my arms arround his neck.
There's been another man that I've needed and I've loved
But that doesn't mean I love you less
And he knows he can't possess me and he knows he never will
There's just this empty place inside of me that only he can fill
Aki, you're spacing out, are you okay? Shigure asked concerned. Sweet shigure endured everything of me since my birth and now I did this.
"Shigure, when I went to USA...I...there was...I met another man..."
the ex-dog was about to say something his expression switching from shock to pain and back.
"Wait...I still love you Shigure, I always did and always will and this doesn't make that I love you less...it's just that... aarrghhh...James knows I'm not his never was and never will but he made me feel good just that...he doesn't know what I did in the past and I keep it that way...like that he made me feel a better person but I realized that I...I was fooling myself and him too so I quit. "
[Chorus:]
Torn between two lovers, feelin' like a fool
Lovin' both of you is breakin' all the rules
Torn between two lovers, feelin' like a fool
Lovin' you both is breakin' all the rules
I was torn between Shigure who knew me with everything I had and James who knew the new me.
A scandal to my family I know, but I love shigure and James each in a different way.
Did I do good by saying James goodbye? Was I too honest with Shigure? I am so stupid and I feel so horrible.
Tears were running down my cheeks by now.
You mustn't think you've failed me
Just because there's someone else
You were the first real love I ever had
And all the things I ever said
I swear they still are true
For no one else can have the part of me I gave to you
"Shigure, you're not too low, you never were and I'm sorry if I ever gave you that feeling and that it increased by James.
You're the first real love I've known in my doomed life."
Aki, all those promises when we are lying in bed peaceful and everything...was it...did you...Shigure's face was a mix between unbelieve, sadness, pain and disapointment.
No, no,no! Shigure honey...I swear on our family and my dad's spirit that I meant every letter of it and what I have with you is unbreakable. Nothing and no one can come between us.
Torn between two lovers, feelin' like a fool
Lovin' both of you is breakin' all the rules
Torn between two lovers, feelin' like a fool
Lovin' you both is breakin' all the rules
Shigure my sweet shigure who knew me inside and outside my good and bad habits and James who knew the new me; the me since I decided to change my life. With James everything seemed so simple, he didn't know my past and he didn't really love me that he wanted to marry.
James still has a special place in my heart and that will never change but I return to Shigure forever. I've caused enough pain, rage and scandals for my family.
Last month I still doubted between Shigure and James but now it's Shigure because who knows what James would think of my past.
Now I close that chapter of James even if I'll always love him someway.
I couldn't really blame you if you turned and walked away
But with everything I feel inside, I'm asking you to stay
Shigure stood up and I panicked. He'd leave me forever and I'd be doomed to spend my life lonely and empty without anyone's love just like my mother predicted.
Please Shigure, don't walk away from me now. I'm sortry for everything. I'm on my bare knees just begging you to stay.
Shigure went down on his knees again and sighed deeply. I saw the hurt in his eyes. Was I really that much like my mother? Cruel and cold hearted?
Maybe that's why everything worked well between James and I. We were both cold hearted
Feelin' like a fool
Lovin' both of you is breakin' all the rules
I feel so horrible so low and foolish for loving two men and breaking every rule and and the manners my dear cousins tried to teach me with so much love. "I'm sorry I don't deserve all your love."
"I forgive you my dear Aki, from now on it's just the two of us you won't be torned between anyone else anymore. If there's something I'll always be right by your side."
"Thank you, Shigure and I love you."
"I love you too my sweet Aki."
Twilight.........S Meyer
Fruitsbasket------- a Japanese writer