Loopholes
Prologue: No, Not The Chosen One!
At the top of a mysterious tower, a grand being stood in deep thought. He had a body of pale blue armor which lay low to the ground. However, his neck was long and tall, putting his head high above the ground to observe all around him. Dialga considered his home in Temporal Tower which, despite his loving care, was beginning to fall apart. What had happened here? It frustrated him that, as the Being of Time, even he wasn't sure what was going on.
A flash of golden light appeared, drawing his attentions away from his thinking. When it was gone, there stood a large bipedal beast of a Pokemon that, despite the pink and white armor, looked similar to himself. He nodded to her, then spoke in a voice that demanded a Caps Lock key. "PALKIA, WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE?"
Although his sister, the Being of Space, was decidedly more feminine, she too spoke in a grand voice that few could match. "WHAT DO YOU THINK? TIME IS GOING WONKY AND YOU'RE NOT YOURSELF. IT WILL UNDOUBTEDLY AFFECT SPACE AS WELL."
He growled at her. "WHAT, YOU THINK I CAN'T DO MY JOB?"
"I KNOW YOU CAN MANAGE IN MOST CASES, BUT THIS IS DIFFERENT. YOU USUALLY DON'T SNAP AT ME IMMEDIATELY."
He looked away from her, ashamed. "FINE. THIS IS DIFFERENT. I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON." He sighed. "AND IF THAT'S SO, THIS PROBABLY INVOLVES A TIME TRAVELER OR TWO."
Palkia looked confused. "YOU SUSPECT CELEBI?"
Dialga shook his head. "NO, SHE KNOWS BETTER AND I TRUST HER. ALSO, GIVEN HOW WE KNOW HER, WE WOULD IDENTIFY IT AS HER POWER IMMEDIATELY. NO, THIS POWER IS UNKNOWN."
"UNOWN?"
He cringed. "DON'T JOKE AT A SITUATION LIKE THIS! MY TEMPER'S GOTTEN AN AWFULLY SHORT FUSE LATELY, SO DON'T PUSH IT."
She was disappointed, as she rather liked teasing him. "SO WHAT OPTIONS DO WE HAVE?"
"I THINK IT'S TIME TO INVOKE A CHOSEN HERO."
Palkia groaned. "OH NO, NOT ANOTHER CHOSEN HERO. DO YOU REMEMBER HOW INCREDIBLY ANNOYING THE LAST ONE WAS?"
He glared at her. "GOT ANY BETTER IDEAS? LOOK AT US; WE'RE LEGENDARY POKEMON ABOUT FIVE TIMES THE SIZE OF MOST ORDINARY POKEMON AND TEN TIMES AS POWERFUL. WE CAN'T JUST WALTZ ON OUT THERE AND START ASKING QUESTIONS ABOUT WHO IS UNDERCUTTING OUR POWERS."
She bit her lip, admirably holding back on some taunt. "FINE THEN. WE'LL GO WITH A CHOSEN HERO. WHO'VE YOU GOT IN MIND?"
"I'M LOOKING INTO THEM. FATE HAS GIVEN ME SOME ODD POTENTIALS THIS TIME AROUND. WANT TO SEE THEM?"
"SURE THING."
Dialga bowed his head in thanks, then roared. A screen of light appeared between two stone pillars. What heroes did fate have in mind?
-+-
"Hold on! We'll make it through… come on!"
Static.
"I… I can't…"
Static.
"No! Whaaaaa!"
-+-
Palkia gave her brother a look. "WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT? THERE WASN'T EVEN A VISUAL."
He tensed in embarrassment. "DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT! I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO INTERPRET THAT ONE. MAYBE FATE'S SCREWED UP AS WELL."
"WELL IF TIME IS GETTING THERE, FATE'S GOING TO HAVE AN AWFUL HARD TIME DOING ANYTHING. ANY VISIONS THAT MAKE SENSE?"
"THE OTHERS DO, MOSTLY."
-+-
Three Pokemon huddled in a lonely mud hut that sat by a shallow pond. They were all quite young. "Wh-what are we going to do now?" the youngest child said, sniffling.
The middle child hugged his brother. "Don't worry, we'll take care of you. We won't be going away. We promise, right sis?"
The oldest child nodded. She was trying terribly hard to be strong for her brothers, but was as upset and fearful as them. "Right. Although, things are going to get tough. Maybe I should get a job in town."
"The Kecleons might hire you," the middle child suggested.
"Or maybe you can be an explorer," the youngest said hopefully. "That's what you said you wanted to do before…"
"That's supposed to be a tough one to enter, but maybe," their sister said thoughtfully. "I'll do my best, but I don't know if even that would be enough."
-+-
Dialga tapped one of his four feet. "KIND OF TYPICAL, AN OVERLY MATURE YOUNG POKEMON WITH ADULT RESPONSIBILITIES PUT ON HER. BUT THOSE ONES CAN PULL THROUGH IN ADMIRABLE FASHION."
Palkia shrugged. "YEAH, IF THE RESPONSIBILITY DOESN'T DRIVE THEM INTO OVERSTRESS AND EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN FIRST."
"THAT'S WHAT FATE GAVE ME TO WORK WITH. HERE'S THE NEXT ONE."
-+-
He sat in the branches of a leafy green tree. The clear and sunny sky gave him good light, but not for playing. With a thick book about half his size opened up against the tree trunk, he was completely absorbed in reading.
"So you can uncover the hidden traps by throwing sticks and pebbles over them," he mumbled to himself. "But they will remain active, triggering to any Pokemon that walks on them. They can be deactivated, but it takes special training to do so…"
Scratching his chin, he thought over that.
"It would be a valuable skill… and pretty cool to say that you can walk through a dungeon without hitting any traps." He smiled, then continued reading.
"HEEEEYYY!" a shrill voice yelled up at him. "Come on down here and play with me!"
"I'm reading!" he called back.
"But it's too nice of a day to just be reading. Come on!"
"Maybe later." He turned the page.
The Mareep below huffed in annoyance. "Well fine, be that way! Loser!" Then she ran off.
The name calling caused him a momentary cringe, but he brushed it off. "You won't be getting anywhere just goofing off all day," he mumbled, then let the interruption slip his mind to learn from the book.
-+-
"AND THEN WE HAVE A BOOKWORM. VERY GOOD FOR FERRETING OUT INFORMATION, BUT I'M NOT SO SURE ABOUT HOW WELL THIS ONE WILL BE IN A FIGHT."
Palkia grinned. "SO YOU WANT TO GO WITH A NERD HERO? I GUESS. HE'S A BIT TOO SERIOUS FOR MY TASTES."
"WELL EVEN IF HE'S JUST HELPING OUT THE CHOSEN HERO, AN INFORMATION HOARDER WILL BE VALUABLE." Dialga changed the screen to the next option.
-+-
He came to a fork in the road that he had gone by in coming in. However, as was the way of the Mystery Dungeon, the fork did not lead back. Instead, it was an even split between right and left. He went right and ran smack into a dead end. The thorny trees and the bramble underbrush looked too painful to try running through. "Aw rock smash. Now what?"
A loud bark came from the fork as a Poochenya threw up dirt in his crazed running turn. "Hold it, villain!" he called triumphantly. "We've got you now!"
Thinking fast, he lowered his ears and body. "Aw, whatcha got to pick on me for? I ain't done no harm."
"You're a thief and a treasure stealer. We're here to bring you to justice!" He spoke quite loudly, to inform the rest of his team that he had the mark cornered.
"Ain't done nothing wrong," he said, using a oddly rhythmical way of speaking. "It was false accusations, you see. A greedy-eyed 'mon thought he could make off with my treasure by accusing me of stealing it first. But I took it fair and square. I don't want to hurt nobody. It ain't nothing. I just want to start up a nice life, yeah? Settle down with some cute Torchic, set up a nice family life, nothing to harm nobody else. You don't have to take me in, it'll all be worked out real nice if I can get back on my own to explain things."
The Poochenya's eyes glazed over as he listened to the speech. "Nothing's wrong."
He felt glee at the trickery, but held back on showing it. He began creeping out of the dead end. "Yeah, nothing's wrong. Just stay there and everything will be fine. It's all good and fine."
But it wasn't fine when one of the teammates, another Poochenya, raced down the way the two of them had come. He barked loudly. "Hey, hey! What're you doing?"
"I explained things," he said, continuing with the voice. "It's okay, everything will be fine."
"Everything will be fine," the first Poochenya said in a sleepy monotone.
The second one barked. "Hey, I didn't think that your kind could perform hypnosis… wait, you definitely can't!"
Dropping the sweet tone, he noted in annoyance, "Well that's the end of that pla…. OH SWEET MOTHER OF MEWTWO, WHAT THE FREAK IS THAT???!!!!"
The two Poochenyas, even the one who thought he was hypnotized, quickly turned to the spot in the woods he was staring at. "What, what, where?!" the second asked fearfully.
The thief then bolted down the other hallway. It had been nothing, but the distraction was enough for him. Too easy, though. Not as fun as making the loser explorer think he was hypnotized.
As he thought that, he accidentally crashed into the third Poochenya. She growled. "Halt, theif! That was a dirty trick to play on my brothers! You're getting no mercy from us."
"Aw rock smash," he muttered again.
-+-
Palkia rubbed her chin. "THE POOCHENYAS?"
"NO. THE OTHER ONE."
"HE'S A THIEF."
"FORMER THIEVES MAKE FOR GOOD HEROES."
"IF THEY CHANGE THEIR WAYS. IF NOT, THEY ROYALLY MESS THINGS UP."
Dialga shook his head. "IF FATE GAVE HIM AS AN OPTION, HE CAN'T BE ALL BAD. SO THOSE ARE MY CHOICES."
"WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH THEM?"
"I'M GOING TO OPEN UP A LOOPHOLE BIG ENOUGH FOR GIRATINA TO FLY THROUGH."
She looked at him skeptically. "ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT? LOOPHOLES IN HISTORY CAUSE ALL SORTS OF PROBLEMS."
He stomped his foot. "I'M COMPLETELY AWARE OF THAT. BUT MY ENEMIES ARE USING LOTS OF LITTLE LOOPHOLES TO UNDERMINE MY POWER. I CAN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE OF THIS MESS. SO I'M GOING TO MAKE A LOOPHOLE TOO."
"AND THAT'S SUPPOSED TO FIX THINGS?"
"GOT ANY BETTER IDEAS?"
"NO. THIS SHOULD BE ENTERTAINING, AT LEAST UNTIL YOU COMPLETELY LOSE YOUR MIND."
He glared at her.
She smirked back.
"FINE. BUT YOU KNOW THAT I WON'T BE SO NICE TO YOU FROM NOW ON?"
"I'M USED TO IT."
Dialga then called up an orb of blue light. Something was inside it, but it was difficult to make out. "OKAY THEN. I KNOW WHO I WANT TO HAVE THIS NOW." He opened up a portal to reach the ears of the one chosen hero. "YOU! YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN TO SAVE THE WORLD FROM A DIRE THREAT. TAKE THIS ARTIFACT AND…" he threw it into the portal.
The screen promptly showed that the Chosen Hero had been knocked out cold. Fortunately, the Pokemon hero was alone, so no one noticed a grand voice from nowhere chucking a strange object with deadly force. The two legendary Pokemon were stunned into silence for a moment.
Palkia coughed. "YOU KNOW, YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE YOUR HERO BY KNOCKING IT UNCONSCIOUS."
"I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO THAT!"
"STILL, REMARKABLE AIM YOU HAVE, CONSIDERING HOW FAR AWAY YOU THREW THAT THING AT SUCH A SMALL TARGET. GOOD GOING."
Dialga snarled at her. "OH, YOU'RE GOING TO GET IT FOR THAT SARCASM. WHEN I LOSE MY MIND, I'LL MAKE SURE TO CREAM YOU FIRST."
"NOTED. NOW WHAT?"
"WHAT ELSE? WE WAIT FOR THINGS TO HAPPEN."
"BO-RING. HEY, WANT TO PLAY PING PONG?"
"MEH, WHY NOT? BUT NO CHEATING."
"DOES CHEATING INVOLVE USING OUR POWERS?"
"NO."
She grinned. "EXCELLENT."
-+-
Author's note: This little (hah) piece was written for NaNoWriMo 2009. It passed the challenge in one week. If you're impatient, my updating to this story is much further along at Serebii's fanfiction forums.