The Blood Gulch Rap
Featuring Pvt. Leonard L. Church
My name is Leonard L. Church
I'm a sniper without a perch
And if you see me without my helmet
My face'll make your heart lurch!
When it comes to fighting, I've had my fill
Made a mess? Send my original brain the bill
And, yes, Caboose shooting me
Counts as a goddamn "team-kill"
Got a question? I'll set you straight
I used Doc DuFresne as purple bait
And when it comes to the Blood Gulch troopers
It's Caboose and Tucker that I hate
When it comes to fighting, I've had my fill
Made a mess? Send my original brain the bill
And, yes, Caboose shooting me
Counts as a goddamn "team-kill"
I used to date that psycho, Tex
The chick who likes to step on peoples' necks
That stupid bitch blew up my body
Not like I can get another at the fucking NEX!
When it comes to fighting, I've had my fill
Made a mess? Send my original brain the bill
And, yes, Caboose shooting me
Counts as a goddamn "team-kill"
A/N: This is for Gumby1011, who came up with the idea for the Blood Gulch Rap in the Freelancer Collaboration forum. I ignored it (because I hate poetry and rhyming and shit) until about an hour and a half ago, when I suddenly started writing this in Marine Science.
Plus, the "Caboose" example looked really lonely. I hope Gumby appreciates the effort, at least, because I think it blows hard.