Y'bloody
We are sat once again slowly letting the telly erode our minds. Not much to erode mind you, I know something's but not a whole lot when considering the world at large. Dudley on the other hand might as well be a monkey at this stage, all that's missing is some drool to complete the picture. The telly's our baby sitter today with Petunia and Vernon out, so here we are. A banjo ad comes on and Dudley completes the look I mentioned earlier.
"Y'figure Agrim's got himself some banjo on stock" Dud asks referring to the Indian convenience a couple of streets down the road.
"Doesn't matter, we're broke" I say not looking away from the TV, there's a game show ad on now and I can't help staring at the models long legs as she smiles next to the show host.
"I see you looking y'dirty bastard" Dudley accuses me.
"What" I ask but I know he's seen me.
"Staring at the hostess's breasts and catching her legs" he says with a growing smirk "y'dirty boy"
"Ah, that's lies" I say but it isn't and Dudley has a laugh about it.
I stand and change the subject. "Come on, let's go get some banjo"
"You just said we're broke" Dudley says but staring up at me with hope.
Subject changed.
"C'mon y'ignoramus. Harry Potter has a plan" I say walking away from him. By the shuffling behind me I know he's following me.
I hate the way I talk now but being around Dudley I can't help that the slang he uses with his lot has rubbed off on me. I hate it but it's not too bad when you're walking like a stand-up guy.
Even as we left the house heading for Agrim's, my mind was still revisiting the ad girls assets, Dudley was right I am a dirty boy.
Xx
I didn't know it then but the plan to get some banjo's at Agrim's would be the start of everything. The robbin, the fighting and the magic. Not necessarily in that order.
Xx
Agrim's is your typical convenience joint, fuel outside and every kind of nick knack inside the shop. We came to a stop a ways from the station so I could tell Dud the plan.
"Okay the plans simple. One of us distracts Agrim while the other loots the place. Simple" I said and watched Dudley eye me incredulously.
"That's it? That's your plan?"
"Got a better plan there, fat boy?"
Dudley turned a nasty shade of red but doesn't argue anymore. I knew the plan was full of holes and would most likely to fail but it didn't matter, I was excited and so was Dudley. I could see it in his eyes.
"Alright you distract Agrim and I'll get the goods" I say about to make for the shop but Dudley's having none of it.
"Fat boy remember? You take Agrim and I'll get the goods" he says walking away before I can argue.
"Get the good stuff then fat boy" I say walking past him and into the shop.
I enter with a chime from the door and immediately feel Agrim's gaze on me. I let the door go and it swings back to close but never shuts completely, Dudley kept his foot in the way. Now all he has to do was enter the store unseen.
"Oi Agrim how's the business" I say walking up to the register.
Agrim is Middle Eastern, probably from Iraq or some other shit hole at the end of the world; he's old, probably around 50 with a bald spot on the top of his head. He's in the middle of writing something down but stops to watch me from behind his glasses. I stand in front of him with a smirk waiting for him to say something but he ignores me and returns to whatever it is he's jotting down.
"Oi Agrim y'ignorant bloody, don't ignore a customer" I say with a frown which Agrim returns.
"Buy or leave boy, I have no time to be wasted on brats" he says in thick accent and I can't help the chuckle. Agrim's frown deepens and I can tell I'm getting to him.
"Alright, alright tell you what I'll buy but only if you show us your bald spot" my smirk is now tied in with a sneer.
Agrim's jaw clenches but he ignores me.
"Geeze, y'alright man? C'mon show us your bald spot" I continue.
He sighs taking off his glasses to look at me with barely restrained anger. I take a glance at the door and it's closed, Dudley must be inside already. I take a few steps back knocking about some magazines and newspapers to the floor as I do.
"You'll clean that up, right mate?" I say smirk still in place.
I'm just about at the door when Agrim makes his move. For an old guy he sure moves fast. He must have been uncoiling his belt while I was mouthing off because one moment he is behind the counter and the next he was jumping over the counter with his belt wagging along behind him. I was out the door before he touched down in front of the counter but that didn't seem to bother him as he took off after me.
My heart was beating something fierce in my ears but above its rapid beats were Agrim's thongs slapping his soles as he came after me. I didn't stop or look back fearing he was closer than last I saw. So I concentrated on getting away and I ran faster. Across the street were some brief woods which came to an end pretty quickly behind the community sport center fence. Agrim might not know that so I sprinted into the woods but still his thongs are behind me slapping sole.
The fence comes up ahead and Jesus this was the end of the road. This revelation brought some ridiculous tears to my eyes as I imagine the pain to come. I think to stop and give it up but I don't, maybe I could climb the fence fast enough even though it is twice my size. It was a stretch but I didn't stop letting my feet continue to pump away. I had to escape. That was the only thought I had as I ran with tears in my eyes. A pitiful sight A'know. The fence rushed to meet me but instead of crashing into the fence I find nothing and trip into a mess on the ground.
I lay a moment waiting for Agrim to descend upon me but he didn't. I could hear his deep breaths but he didn't make a move. Looking up behind me I feel my mouth go dry as Agrim stands outside the fence and I inside of it. He takes double takes between me and the fence before beating a steady retreat. I am gob smacked but more than that I'm happy I escaped.
"Agrim Y'bloody, you're lucky you're on the other side of that fence" I screamed after him my voice cracking with adrenaline and relief.
I stand and dust myself off before finding myself watching the fence. I run a hand on it but it's completely solid. I can't help shaking my head as I turn away feeling thoroughly spooked. I don't waste time taking off at a run. It is unlikely that Agrim is coming after me but I'm not taking any chances. I head for number 4 and cut through a trail leading to the park. I emerge behind the swing set to find Dudley's bibulous form heaving for air. He sits a little ahead of the swings with a shopping basket filled with junk on his hips.
"Well done ya bastard" I say startling him
Xx
I wish I could tell you we got away with it but we live down the street from Agrim's and he's no monkey and we're no geniuses. Still I got my first taste of rage but more on that later.