Hello Everyone!

It's been a while since i've written...well anything! But here I am with a story that raged at my brain ever since I heard The Fifty Shades Freed soundtrack. The song is "Do I ever Cross Your Mind" by Sabrina Claudio. I own NOTHING! Song belongs to Sabrina Claudio, Characters to E. L. James. I'm just going to play with them for a bit.

PS - Going the movie route here, just FYI.

Do I Ever Cross Your Mind

Christian's POV

"For once, just do as your told," I beg her. I can't have her here to witness this, but she is paralyzed by what she has already seen. She is staring at me with a look of pure shock and a hint of betrayal.

"Taylor, get her out of here!" I order. He moves toward her and her strong independent mind kicks in, I know he would have picked her up if he had to.

Hearing the click of the closing door, I kneel next to Leila, tilting her chin up to look her in the eyes. They are cold and distant, not the warm gray I remember, now they are dull and lifeless.

"What on earth possessed you to do this?" I ask.

Tears threaten to fall down her cheeks, "I need you, Sir," she whispers.

I sigh knowing exactly what she means. She needs Dominating Christian. She needs to loose control to find herself again. Only problem is, I have fallen head over heels in love and I am not in a position to give her what she is asking for. I can however give her the help she needs.

I place my arms around her and stand. She has lost far too much weight. I walk her to Ana's bedroom and place her feet in the ground "Strip." I order and turn to the bathroom. I turn on the water, filling the tub with hot water. I look in the cabinet and find Ana's bath oil. I open it and breathe in Her scent, quickly deciding against bathing my ex sub in my girlfriend's stuff. Opening another cabinet, I find Kate's stuff and grab her bubble bath. I test the water and dry my hand, methodically prepping a bath for a woman I use to fuck and beat the shit out of.

Returning to Ana's room I find Lelia naked with her eyes cast down, ashamed.

I take her hand and lead her to the bath "Get in," I order.

She obeys, sinking into the water, a soft sigh escaping her lips. I pick up a loofah and begin to bathe her in silence.

After several minutes she is the one to break it "Do I ever cross your mind?"

"No." I say colder than I mean.

"She looks like me, like all of us," she states, "Yet she sleeps in your bed. She calls you by your name," she looks me in the eyes, "She's not like us."

"No, she is not," I state it as a fact. I love Ana, I never allowed myself to love my subs.

"What does she have that we don't?" She asks.

I look at her, unable to answer her question. I simply can't answer. I don't know what Ana has over the rest. All I know is she has my heart. I tear my eyes away from hers and continue bathing her.

"Does she feel the way I felt under you?"

I don't bother to respond, which only pushes her further into this line of questioning.

"Do we ever cross your mind, when you're kissing her, touching her, or staring in her eyes?"

Anger is boiling inside me but I keep my cool, moving to wash her hair.

She is silent for a few moments as my fingers work through her hair but then comes the breaking point "When you run your hands through her hair, like you did to mine, do I ever cross your mind?"

"Enough!" I grab her hair and pull her head back anger burns in my eyes. "You will stop this! You will stay far away from Ana and you will get mental health care!" I growl, "You and all the others are my past. Ana is my future and I will not let you or anyone else fuck it up!" I release her and get up to dry my hands. "Get up and dry off, I'll find you something to wear."

Walking to Ana's bedroom I pull out my cell and call Flynn. I briefly tell him the situation and the address. I find some yoga pants and a t-shirt and bring them to Leila. "Put these on," I order and move to the kitchen. I am ignoring her soft crying. She is hurt, but I will never ever let any one hurt Ana. I've done that enough and I will spend my life making it up to her.

I find a can of soup and warm it up on the stove. I place the bowl and a glass of water on the island as Lelia comes slowly out of the bedroom. I grab the blanket from the couch and place it around her shoulders. "Eat" I order.

I know she is starving, but she won't touch her food. "So help me Lelia-"

A knock on the door forced us from our stand off. I pull my gaze away from her and open the door. It's Flynn. Letting him in Lelia goes quiet and meek, closing off.

"Christian," he nods moving past me to Lelia. "Lelia, I'm Dr. Flynn, I'm going to get you the help you need." She doesn't respond, only examines her fingernails.

He turns back to me "There is a bed waiting at Harborview for her. I have set up all the necessary appointments and have prescribed a combination of antidepressants and anti-psychotics. She should respond well to the treatment," he says in a low voice.

"Whatever it takes," I respond.

I approach Lelia and scoop her into my arms. "We are going to take you somewhere safe, somewhere they can help you," he says softly.

I carry her down to the waiting SUV and gently place her in it, sliding in next to her. The driver takes us to the hospital.

I return to Escala expecting to find Ana waiting for me. But instead I am screaming at Taylor for letting her go, walking away without her purse or anything. She could be hurt, she could be taken, she could be on a flight halfway to Georgia right now, running from what she saw in her apartment.

She walked in three hours later and after a brief argument I gave myself to her. I submitted to her. I forced myself and made her touch me, and surprisingly her touch didn't hurt. Her touch made the pain go away. She straddled me there on the floor, kissing me like her life depended on it. Picking her up I took her to our bedroom.

I am determined to make love to her, even with Lelia and the others chewing at the back of my mind. Did they ever cross my mind when I was with Ana? I pushed those dark thoughts from my mind and focused on the girl in front of me, my Ana, my other half.

Laying her on the bed I strip her of her clothes and admire the beauty before me. I am still amazed that I am the only man to make love to this heavenly creature. She is in every sense, mine. I wish I could give her what she has given me but Elena took that a long time ago. But maybe not, maybe Elena taught me how to fuck, but Ana taught me how to love. And that is what I'm going to do, love Lelia…

Wait…what?

Snap out of it Grey! Focus on Ana! Right, Ana.

"Christian?" Ana's soft voice brings me back to her.

I shake my head "Sorry, I just…I'm amazed that I am the only man to ever have this view." I smile at her.

She bites her lip, a sight flush making her cheeks pink.

I cover her with my body, capturing her lips. She moans into my mouth as our tongues battle, like Lelia would do.

I tear my mouth from hers, cursing under my breath. Memories of Lelia under me in the red room flood my mind. I grip Ana's waist harder than I should. "Ow! Christian, Whats wrong?"

I look it to her beautiful blue eyes, a stark contrast Lelia's warm gray eyes. My heart swells with love for this woman. "I'm sorry baby," I breathe, burying my face into her neck, inhaling her intoxicating scent.

She strokes my hair pulling me tight against her "Talk to me, whats going on?"

"Nothing" I lie "I just- I love you so much Ana." I kiss her neck, enticing a moan from her.

"I love you too Christian, so, so, so, so much." She peppers my hair with kisses and I look back up at her.

"Marry me?" I ask. I need her, she is everything, she is my everything.

She looks at me like I have grown a second head, "What?"

"Marry me, be mine, let me share everything that I have with you," my heart is pounding in my chest. If she says no I might as well take that gun that is in my pocket and…

"Yes." She whispers.

My world stops on it's axis. I release the breath I didn't know I was holding. "What?"

"I said yes, Christian," she grins at me.

I pull her to me, crushing her in a hug. She has just made me the happiest man on the planet and I ache with need for her. Pulling back I tenderly kiss her soft lips. I press my forehead to hers, "I love you."

"And I love you." She smiles.

I reach between us and slip my fingers into her core. "Ready for me, Miss Steele?" She moans in response. Slowly I sink into her and I am home, savoring the feeling of her surrounding me. I slowly start to move and my mind betrays me, slipping back to Lelia in the play room. My speed picks up as I remember giving her a punishment fuck. She had gotten out of line so I was determined to make her pay, each thrust harder and harder. Soon she was whimpering, "Please, stop, Christian! You're hurting me!"

I still and snap my head up, I see Ana in tears. God, what have I done? "Baby, God, I'm sorry, I got carried away. I'm sorry."

"Just slow down, Christian. I'm not going anywhere." She soothes. "I'm right here. You have me for the rest of our lives."

I smile shyly knowing what is going through my head. I should be honest with her, I should tell her…no I can't she would certainly leave me. I kiss her again, slowly beginning to move against her again. I am gentler this time, being careful of my fragile Ana. Slowly we climb to orgasm, she tumbles over the edge first, calling out my name. I follow as she clenches around me, "Ah, Lelia!" I cry out and my world is instantly shattered.

Should I continue? Do you want Ana's POV? Let me know in the comments! 3

Updated 4/9/18 Beta by calicutie77