Crimson Regret

An Itachi one-shot

I never really thought about how I was going to die. The only thought that had ever come to mind was to die peacefully in my sleep, never knowing that I was actually taking my last breath, a simple, easy, peaceful death. I just guess that I had never anticipated the agony that was actually going to happen. Then again, what did I even know about dying? Wait, scratch that. I did. I do.

Blood, sweat, and tears are what ran down my face. I never knew that something like this would ever happen, this of all reasons. Why did this have to happen? Out of all the things in the world? Why?

Just watching them fall to the ground, and watching that menacing man just laugh and stand before me. A grin on his face that was so intimidating that I didn't know what to do. I was petrified. I couldn't run. I couldn't stand. I couldn't even breathe; nothing. More tears poured down my pale cheeks as I watched the blood spill even more. Feeling myself lose control in front of them was udder despair. And, I couldn't even do anything. Why couldn't I? Wasn't I strong enough? Wasn't I brave enough? Wasn't I even strong enough to stand up to that man? To show him that I desperately loved my parents? Maybe not...But then again, maybe it wouldn't be like that. Maybe I would die with them? So I wouldn't be alone? Would he even do that? Allow me to pass on with them so I couldn't break anymore. If there was even anything left to break?

I couldn't even see him walk up to me through the waterfall of tears that flooded my vision. But why did I even care? All I wanted to do was to go with them, to hear their voices again even if I couldn't touch them. Just see them. Hear them.

Just kill me now...

That was all I was thinking as the man picked me up by the collar. I didn't think I was strong enough now, so weak, pathetic...not strong enough to help even my own parents. Not even strong enough to even run...

"Kuroda...what's wrong with you? Why are you so weak?" A taunting voice hissed in my ear. My body froze as I knew who was in front of me. Holding me by the collar, just moving his hand up a few inches he could kill me just like that. Isn't that what I wanted though?

My breathing had seemed to stop because he laughed, that's when I inhaled. But I gagged from the smell of the room. Blood filtered through the air. And, I almost felt my stomach lurch forward and just bail out everything I had left in my stomach. The smell was so putrid. The smell of rust and salt filled my nose.

"Kuroda...you're so weak, to think that I would have killed you." He whispered in my ear.

A gasp left my lips as my eyes widened. Maybe I didn't want to die. Was it just too hard to let go of my life? Was I just too afraid of letting this world go? Going to a different place, was it just too difficult for me?

Then I had to admit it. I was too afraid to die. I was afraid to let go of my grasp on life. I didn't want to go. I was afraid to go somewhere different. Why was I like this? My parents had not raised me up to be afraid of something, anything. Then why did that man scare me? Frighten me so much that my body turned numb and sweat would come falling off my face. So much that I actually cried.

But still, the fact that he said that he wouldn't kill me. It, scared me, yet, relieved me at the same time. Was that even possible? I didn't even know. I didn't want to know why it scared me. Yet, relieved? I shuddered at the thought.

He cackled. It was such a disgusting sound. To see him laughing here! Why did it seem that the more blood he spilled, the more he seemed to enjoy it? To enjoy other peoples pain for his pleasure.

"We'll meet again, Kuroda." He hissed in my ear.

I felt myself drop from his grasp because he suddenly disappeared. My limp body hit the ground hard. My head hit the ground and vision started to fade. My eyes started to close. Everything started to fade to black. I looked at the people in front of me. So close that I could almost touch them. I could use the last of my strength to at least touch them. Just to feel the smoothness of their skin.

I didn't want to think about the liquid my arm ran through to touch their arms. My fingertips so close to them. And of course it ended there. My vision fading completely and my fingertips only so far away from touching my mothers hand. My breathing was still labored, and I felt myself choke because of the smell of the air. Of how close I was to the blood on the floor. But it didn't matter anymore. Because I let the darkness take me away...

Opening my eyes from another dream I felt another bead of sweat run down my face. I frowned. I raised my fingers to my face and felt my own forehead. I felt sweat just layered over my skin and my black bangs drenched. I sighed, knowing how horrible this day was going to go. Well, I should be used to it now shouldn't I? I mean, after all, I have this same dream every night.

I moved the covers off my body and swung my legs over the bed. Leaning up and gasped as a pain inflicted my stomach. I gagged. How did this dream feel so real to me that I had to take the heat from it every morning? Shouldn't it just have been a bad dream? Although I had to keep telling myself it was just a bad dream. I couldn't get over the fact that I knew that it was a horrible nightmare.

I groaned when I stood up, but the coldness of the floor helped a little bit, sending some relief through my hot body. I looked over, kicked open a door that I walked over to, open. I stepped in, my lids still half closed. The cool, stone floor – that I still thanked in my mind for – still helped my body cool down. So slowly, but surely, I walked over and turned and put my hands on the counter in front of me. I looked at the mirror, my reflection almost made me puke. It was because I looked so horrible. The sweat layering my face, my bloodshot eyes, my pale skin, and, not counting the fact that I looked like I had just gone through an atomic explosion didn't help either. I sighed and turned, pulling a lever that made water turn on.

I stripped down and immediately got into the shower. The cool water making my body temperature go down so quickly that I felt my head spin. I loved the fact that the water washed down all the sweat of off my body. Feeling everything come off, felt like I was finally naked.

The water finally turned warm and it relaxed my tense muscles. I pulled my long hair back from my face so that the water could hit it fully. I sighed. Letting the water drizzle down me felt like I was in some paradise. But everyone knew, that paradise never existed. And, if anything, all good things come to an end.

I turned off the water and stepped out, letting a chill go down my spine. The steam quickly following me out of the shower. I wrung my hair out, watching small droplets of water fall onto the cold stone and sink in. I pulled my hair back into a bun and quickly tied it back. Grabbing a towel, I walked out back into my room.

I looked around my room; so dark. I walked over to a closet and got out my regular clothing. A dark blue spaghetti strapped mesh tang top, and a pair of dark blue shorts, and a pair of dark blue ninja shoes, covered with a white piece of cloth that went up to my knees. Putting on all of my under garments, I quickly put the rest on. I turned my head, looking over at the cloak that was hanging over a chair that was by a desk in my room. I sighed again, looked at the bland colors - black, red, and white. I appeared by it and picked it up. Too bad mine was different than the rest of the members. Since I was a girl, I had to have a different appearance, which I didn't understand, because Konan didn't have to wear what I was wearing. It was unfair. Leader said that I appealed more than Konan did, so I had to dress properly. It was cut from the shoulders, making it hang off my shoulders, coming down so that my half of my chest would show, and then the collar was separate from the entire thing.

I hung it over my arm and untied the hair tie in my hair, letting my waist length black hair fall down my back. I grabbed a brush that was on the table and ran it through my hair quickly, parting my hair to the left so it covered my left eye. I put the cloak on and walked back over to my bed. I picked up my shoes on the way and sat down on the comfortable bed its silky covers so smooth to the touch. Too bad that near my pillows it was soaked with sweat. I put on my shoes and stood up again, walking over to the door that led throughout the whole place.

I placed my hand on the knob and turned it. Opening it up, I saw a "big surprise". A familiar person appeared in front of my face, an orange mask covering his face, a hole in the right part of the mask, supposedly where the eye was.

"Tobi is a good boy!" the person yelled.

"Tobi won't be a good, living boy for long if he won't move out of my way." I said harshly at him. My black and red eyes narrowed at him as he quickly moved out of the way. Knowing, my words were true.

Tobi watched my back as I slammed my door as I walked down the hallway, away from where Tobi came from. I felt a little pity for him. I sighed.

I wasn't always like this. I wasn't always so heartless to people. I still remember – faintly – but still remembered how I used to be, such a happy child, so loving, a smile always on my face. A hand always in mine wherever I went. I stopped in my tracks, thinking of my parents again. It seemed almost yesterday that I had seen their loving faces. Their firm, loving arms wrapped around my small figure while I sat in their laps. My forehead creased as I thought about them.

It's so foolish to think about them. There gone, what can I do? There's nothing to bring them back from the dead, besides. You've lived. You've been living for ten years without them.

I was interrupted from my thoughts from someone who stood silently in front of me. I picked my head up a little, looking into the person's eyes.

I held onto my emotionless mask. The mask that always was portrayed my face everyday, holding my emotions back behind it - more like hiding.

"Leader-dono wants to see you." The person said. His low, voice lazily spoke, his beady eyes so small that I couldn't imagine them getting any smaller. He was rather an odd one, because his skin was blue. And he looked more like shark than anything else. Three gill looking things were on his cheeks, and when he grinned, his teeth were sharp and long. Too bad this guy didn't scare me. He wished.

I didn't say anything, just listened and started to walk off, pushing past the man. I was rather short compared to him, at least a good head, or maybe two, maximum three shorter. The man gave me a deep throated growl. I knew that he didn't like me. But did I have to like him back? I think not.

I walked past a hidden room, and a chill rushed down my spine. I glanced at the old room; his own room. I growled at it silently and continued walking.

Leader knew that I didn't like that room. No one in the whole organization could compare to me hating that room, a room, yeah, pretty pathetic. I hated a room. But if it connected to him, then no one could match up.

It's not hard to imagine how I had ended up in this organization. With good shinobi skills, and an intent to kill, that was pretty much all that was needed. Also a great IQ, but, Leader pretty much cleared up that part of the whole organization. He was the one who was, well, the leader.

I finally found myself at the door of Leader's office. I knocked on it slightly, knowing that through the door, everyone could hear it, even if it was faint.

"Haide," Leader said. He was quiet, but I could still hear him.

I entered through the door, slid the door back with ease, and walked forward. Seeing Leader in person was a rare sight to see, but still, I continued forward to what he wanted. It was very dark in the room, except from a small candle in the middle of the room on a desk. Leader was behind it.

We were the only ones in the room. His red eyes pierced straight through the darkness. He was intimidating; I had to give him that. He wasn't the nicest person in the world, and his attitude wasn't the best either. When he wanted something, he knew to just, demand it instead of ask. When he wanted something quick, you would better be fast to get it to him right then and there. Cause if you didn't...bad things would happen.

"You don't know why you're here, do you?" He asked. He circled around his desk, tracing his fingertips on the wooden desk.

I averted my gaze to the ground and shook my head. Not really knowing where he was going with this. My still wet hair glistened as the fire struck its shiny surface.

"Come forward," he demanded. He lifted his hand and motioned for me to come closer.

I did as he was told of course, but what really concerned me was what he pulled out of his sleeve.

It was a piece of paper, small, and crinkled because of ware and tare. He motioned for me to take it, and I did. A tremor of terror shot through my body when I came in contact with it. Its rough surface seemed to strike me as something that hinted I wouldn't like it. I looked at it slightly, and rubbed my finger tips over the surface. It was partially yellow, probably stained. The thing about it was; was that it smelled disgusting. It wanted to make me puke. That's how bad it was...

"That came for you a long time ago, even before you came. It seems...that it was not the best time to have given it to you then."

I was a little unstable now, I mean, the Leader was saying things that were really weird...Like, "It wasn't the best time to give it to you..."

What the hell did that mean? How was I supposed to comprehend that? I sighed aloud. Not too loud of course so that he wouldn't be able to hear me. He probably did though. At least he didn't say anything.

He got a little agitated about me taking so long. He glared harshly at me and ordered, "Open it for damns sake already!"

I was startled a little. I ran over the rough surface of the note once more before finally opening it.

I peered at it, looking at the words that were on it. The words on it were crudely written in blood. The stench of it made my nose crinkle in disgust.

We shall meet again, Kuroda

Meet me 50 miles north, and 68 miles east

I shall be waiting...

I growled at the note and threw it onto the ground. I cursed under my breath that wouldn't be normally appropriate for a woman's mouth. What did I care? It was from him...I didn't want anything to deal with him. Leader knew that, so then why did he give this to me?

"Because I've known how much you have hated him. I've noticed the way that you cringe when you walk past his old room, when even if someone gets to the closet subject to him that you stand up and leave the room. You hate him, Kuroda. Everyone here knows that." Leader stated roughly. I looked at him; my eyebrows were still narrowed in anger. I scoffed and turned my back to him.

He also narrowed his eyebrows, even though they were not visible. "You want him killed, don't you? Kuroda?" he asked, a little tauntingly, because he knew that he was right.

Everyone here knew that I detested Orochimaru. Everyone knew that. Of course, I knew that the most, I was me after all. I glared at the ground, wanting to look at the note that was still on the ground. I sighed and looked back at him. I couldn't just, deny the fact that I hate Orochimaru. I thought about what he had done to me so many years ago. What he had done to my parents.

I quickly shook my head back and forth, wanting to rid those thoughts, because I knew that I would probably break down in front of him, sobbing on the ground. That would be pretty pathetic of me...

I sighed in defeat. I looked at him fully and stood my ground, "Alright, so what if I hate him..."

"Don't you want to do something about that? Orochimaru-" He cringed at his name, as did I "-is showing you where he is, and he is letting you find him, to fight him. Don't you think that that is saying something?" Leader asked, trying to reason with me. And, he was wining.

"I-I don't know...I mean what about the organiza-"

"We have strong enough people to take care of ourselves," he interrupted me. He crossed his arms and leaned on his desk, "We're not week, Kuroda."

"I know that, I'm not saying that you guys aren't. It's just that..." I started to say, trailing off at the end.

"What? It's just what?" He started to sound annoyed. That was a bad sign.

"I just don't want to leave here. What if something does happen? And I'm gone? How will I know what had happened to you guys? What if you move? And then I don't know where to find you? What if-"

"Too many 'what if's'; listen Kuroda. You know that you are a part of this organization. We all know that. And, we do not take you for granted. We know what your abilities are. We don't doubt those. But, I'm just telling you. To do what you must do. You have to do these things on your own. We're not going to baby you. You're old enough to know that." Leader said. Oh boy...a lecture...

"I know that, Leader-dono. I'm not saying that you are. I just...don't know...if I'm..." I trailed off again.

"If you're what?" he asked.

"If I'm strong enough for it; I know that I'm apart of this organization. I know that I'm strong. I know that I kill, easily. But when it comes to Orochimaru...he..."

"Messes with your mind? Teases you? Trust me; we already know what he is capable of. He is strong, but, he is weak at some points."

My head perked up on this one. Weakness? Orochimaru? Oh, boy did I want to know...Now I'm excited.

"His weak points are his obsessive-ness." Leader said.

Obsessive-ness? That was it? That wasn't a huge weakness! What's up with that?!

"He thinks so much of himself, that he loses sight of what is reality. If you take away something from him, he'll be devastated. He wants to learn all of the jutsu's in the world. He will do anything to achieve it, even if it means making up a new jutsu."

A new jutsu? This was a new one.

"He came up with a jutsu that brings him immortality. But, the draw back, is that the body still grows old while he ages. He has to change bodies. And, he can only do that every three years. That's how powerful the jutsu's effect on him is. Now," He started to say. And it seemed that this was the most important part. "Orochimaru has vessels. He transfers into people that he thinks are the more powerful, people with kekkai genkai's. He needs those kekkai genkai's so that he can learn more jutsu's, and faster at that as well."

Wow, Leader really knew how talk someone to death. I was wondering if that was his specialty or something like that. He seemed to just keep on talking. He kept on saying things, that, I didn't really pay attention to. Not until he said something about me finding him and killing him did I finally get back into tune.

I kept nodding. And, he finally dismissed me. I sighed when I had gotten outside, finally able to get out of the way of the non-stop talker. I sighed, knowing that I would have to do what Leader told me to do. I know that I was...partially ready. I knew that I wasn't fully, because I know that I would be a little afraid of him when I saw him again.

But what had me most confused, was what Leader had said, something about a vessel? What about it? It's not like his life depended on it.

I stopped then and there. That vessel, he did depend on it. If he didn't have it, then there would fbe no way for him to keep living. If I took that one thing away from him, then that would mean that I could take away his life. Simple...

Not.

I would have to find out what this vessel was, more like who this vessel was, and I knew that it couldn't be that hard. But if that person was working for Orochimaru, then that person must be strong, the person must be stronger than Orochimaru himself if he depends so much on this person...

Who would know who this person would be? Well, I am in a top secret organization filled with only the top, most dangerous ninja's of the world, they must know who this person is. But who would tell me? Some of them are pretty stubborn. Especially Kisame, he hates me, I hate him, and so there was no way that I would ask him.

Tobi? No, he's too much of a happy person to tell me, he'd probably keep saying things like, "Tobi is a good boy!" I didn't need that right now... I would probably be ancient by the time Tobi finally told me who it was, and Orochimaru would have already switched anyways.

I decided on Deidara, I walked down the hall until I saw a room filled with the organization. Not all of them were here, but most of them were, Deidara, Hidan, Zetsu, and Sasori. They all were seated around a table, and they all stopped talking when I entered the room. I glared at all of them and walked over. Deidara staring boredly, Zetsu had an impossible face which I could never figure out. Sasori's face was always the same, a frown and bored eyes, and Hidan had blood on his hands and a scowl on his face.

"Was I interrupting something?" I asked as I leaned on one hip and stared at them.

"No, why do you care though?" Hidan growled lowly.

"Shut up, scum. I don't need to hear it from you right now," I barked back at him as I glared darkly at him.

He scowled and said a few choice words underneath his breath. I looked at the rest of them though, "Do you people know who Orochimaru's vessel is?"

Every breath stopped, and everyone stopped and turned to me with wide eyes. The dark place became even eerier if it was possible. But everyone turned their heads at each other and nodded in agreement to something without words. I glared at the men and clenched my teeth together, wanting to know what was going on.

"Damnit, tell me!" I yelled at them.

They all turned to me and nodded once and Deidara stood up. He walked forward a little until he was only a few feet away from me.

Deidara stared straight at me and said with an emotionless face, "We all agree that you shouldn't ask us-"

"WHAT!? What the hell is that supposed to mean you fucking bastard!?" I exploded on him, wailing my arms at him and they were all startled a little, their eyes wide with shock and they all were blown back by my reaction. "You will fucking tell me or I swear I will beat the living shit out of all of you-"

"Kuroda, shut up! Let me finish, hmm!" Deidara yelled back, raising his voice over mine, if that was even possible. He cleared his throat and stood up straight again. "We don't think that we should tell you, but that someone else should, hmm."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I asked as I put my weight on the other leg.

"We all agree that Itachi should be the one to tell you, not us, hmm." Deidara said as he looked at me seriously.

"Why him," I asked as stood up straight.

"...We have our reasons; it's not our place to talk." Sasori said softly as he looked at me.

I nodded at him and sighed aloud, a little annoyed, men, such a hassle in life. At the same time, what would we do without em, hmm? Oh great, now I sound like Deidara, bad sign. I looked at them all once more before a finally decided that it was my place to leave. Who knew what they were all talking about before I came in? I just hope that it wasn't something too nasty. Since Hidan probably just came back from a ritual, he was talking about who and what he had to sacrifice and for what reason. Maybe his "God" would be pleased now.

I passed down the dark hallways, something didn't seem right at the moment...it was too silent, and yes, there was such a thing in this place. Very rarely did it happen, I didn't really see it as an omen; but there was something wrong. It tingled up my spine and down my arms, giving me the faintest of goose bumps. Something wasn't right here...or...someone...

This feeling that passed down my spine was a tremor, I shivered again, the chills seemed to come up my spine and make the hairs on the back of my neck seemed to stand on end, and I turned slightly, wary of who was here with me. Only he could make me like this, no-one else in this entire organization could make me this...apprehensive in a way. I wasn't like I was...entirely apprehensive about the way that this man made me. I turned fully, my eyes piercing into the man's eyes. Those crimson, ghastly orbs stared straight at me, nothing else.

"Kuroda," he said.

"Uchiha," I replied to him, my monotonously voice matched his perfectly.

We both stared at each other for a long time, common for the both of us though. It wasn't like we talked that much. Key word: that.

"I over heard something about you wanting to ask me something?" he said, sounding as if he didn't have a care in the world.

"Hai, so you heard correctly," I said, a little annoyed, because if he over heard us, then he must have heard what I wanted to ask him. Why was he being so difficult?

"Well?" he asked.

"What do you know of Orochimaru's vessel?" I asked.

His face hardened visibly, and his fist clenched tightly and I could hear the slight cracking sound of knuckles. His hard eyes still didn't soften as he started to approach me. His footsteps were lightened by force, he didn't want to have to stomp his way over to me, and he had managed somehow.

"Well?" I asked, putting my hand on my hip, my stance giving me a slightly provocative look, all because of my stupid cloak.

Itachi's eyes trailed, and before he could go any farther than my chin, I snapped my fingers in front of his face.

"Answer me," I said.

"Follow me," he gritted through his teeth.

He walked past me sharply, catching me off guard slightly. I gasped slightly, my intake of breath catching his attention. He stole a glance at me, and I glared up at him, my eyebrows furrowed. I made a deep throated growl at him and I crossly followed, even though much of me wanted to rip him to pieces, bit by bit.

I was going to question him, because he said nothing, he just continued to walk down the hallway without saying a word. He took sharp turns here and there, but that was all the sound that we made besides the tapping of our light footsteps. I pondered on what he was thinking at the moment and tilted my head slightly. What could he be thinking at the moment? It wasn't as if I could just peer into his mind and find out. Oh yes, how I would have loved to. Yes, for me to find out what the "great" Uchiha Itachi was thinking would make me a legend. It didn't matter, no matter at all.

Suddenly he stopped and turned, he placed his hand on something, a doorknob. He expects me to go into a room with him? Alone?! He wished...

"Let's go," he said as he grabbed my wrist, holding onto it tighter than a normal person should have. I heard a slight crack as I was forced to follow him inside. My eyebrow twitched as I forced myself to hold in a whimper.

He pulled me in, pulling me until I was forced to fall into his room. I stumbled slightly because he pulled me with such force. Jeez, all I asked him was a simple question! What was his big problem with it?!

I held onto my wrist and looked at his, cradling it with care. I glared at him harshly, cursing under my breath. I was about to start yelling at him, cursing at him - which would have been so inappropriate - but somehow he beat me to it.

"Why do you want to know about Orochimaru's vessel?" he asked quickly. His words were quick, filled with meaning and his voice had a little bit of demand in it.

I looked at him, a little confused on why he was getting so worked up about it, but I said, "I have to know why so that I can...do something." I tried to think of the best reason on how to explain it to him.

"Tell me," he demanded, practically growling at me.

I stared hardly at him, glaring at him that would have drilled a hole through his head.

"Well, I need to know because I'm taking him down, and if you would be ever so helpful to me as to tell me who his vessel is so that I can at least take it away from him."

Itachi was silent, his body language told me nothing; I could not decipher it. His was silent, still, and deadly aware of what I was talking about. Then why wouldn't he tell me? Damn, I would have to murder Deidara later for telling me to come to him and him no telling me sooner.

"Well, are you going to tell me or not?" I asked, crossing my arms, gently so that I wouldn't hurt my wrist that much. He must have just bruised my wrist internally, nothing that big.

Still, he was silent, and I had no idea of what he was thinking. God, I wish that he would talk! Say something! Anything! I don't give a damn just say something!

In my mind I kept cursing him, and I soon gave up after at least a minute of total and complete silence.

"Fine, I understand, you won't tell me," I sighed, and started to turn around. "I'll just be-"

"Where do you think you're going?"

I was confused, wasn't he just in behind me? Wasn't I just about to walk out on him? Then why was he here in front of me, my face only an inch away from his chest. I took an intake of air and I soon regretted it. God, did he smell delicious! A mixed smell of his own that I knew I could never rid my mind from. Heck, I didn't even know if I wanted to get this smell out of my mind. It was so...intoxicating that I didn't even know if I even wanted to go away from him.

I tried to clear my mind, but his smell just kept invading and filling all the clear spots in my head. Soon enough my mind was just filled with the scent of Itachi, the image if Itachi, the physical being of Itachi. It was just him! Damnit! I want him out of my mind! Sort of...

"If you want to know, why don't you fight for it?" he whispered, his head coming down next to mine so that he would be able to whisper in my ear. I inhaled, again that sweet scent. Oh how I loved it - wait, no! No bad thoughts! I didn't love anything!

"If I want to know, why don't you just tell me what I want to know?" I whispered back, yelling would be useless here; he would know that my whispering in his ear would be as dangerous as me yelling at him from three feet away.

The frown on his face did not fade, but nor did it stay the same it was completely. He holding something back...and that something was a smirk that wanted to come out.

Odd, complicated, just plain old weird: just some of the definitions that described the word men. I mean, come on, Itachi was just pissed as hell, and then suddenly he's smirking at me. What's up with that?

"Just tell me, Uchiha, I don't have all day." I growled at him. I clenched my fist; his smell was intoxicating me so much that I would have gone out crazy on him if my inner being wasn't as strong as it was now.

His frown was complete now, plastered onto his face and the aura around him seemed to become more...okay, darker as to say, because his head backed away from mine, a glare was on his face and it wouldn't leave for a while.

He just wanted to get straight to the point now. "Orochimaru's vessel right now is..." he paused. Damnit, tell me! I thought. He built up the words in his mouth, and said, "Is my little brother..."

A week or so had passed us by and strange things seemed to happen. I felt...anomalous to the people around me. It was so odd that I actually caged myself up in my room, that's what leads me to where I am now. Locked up in my room and trying to clear my head from the note was sitting on my desk alone across the room from me. I glared at it and I fought the frown that wanted to crease my lips. I kept a straight face at it as I listened to the pitter patter of the water that dripped in my room, the dark cavern sheltering me from the outside world. I kept my social self to a limit; I barely went outside my room. Something in me that just wanted to be alone, then the other part of it a hungry beast that was searching for something that it yearned for. Something that it's been wanting for a long, long time.

I leaned my head against the wall and brought me knees up to my chest and held them up as I wrapped my arms around them. I sighed aloud and imagined what would happen if I went to search for Orochimaru. His cold, bright yellow eyes clouded my vision and I clenched my teeth, my anger starting to seep through. Those bright, bloodshot eyes still were seared into my mind, and I knew that I could not escape them. They would always be watching me, watching my every step, my every thought, my every breath. How would I ever be able to rid the thoughts of that demon?

A knock on my door interrupted my thoughts and I looked over, lazily I tossed a kunai at it. I didn't want to get up. My thoughts weren't even on earth as I stared at nothing. I wanted to do something, I just couldn't find out what I wanted to do. I wanted to look for something, but I just couldn't find out what it was, and I was disgusted how I didn't even know what I wanted.

Someone grabbed my shoulder and I let out a small gasp as I looked up to the person. The person's grip was hard almost to the point of it hurting. My eyes blinked a few times to make sure that I wasn't dreaming about this. Itachi was standing above me. His intimidating crimson eyes burning holes into my head. My black and red ones stared back at him and I tried not to show any emotion on my face, it failed completely though when the hand on my shoulder moved under my chin. The color red painted my cheeks as he pulled me up just by my chin. I didn't even realize that I helped; I stood up on my own as well. Why in the world would I do that?! What the hell was wrong with me?!

Itachi's cold, ghastly eyes did not stray from my face as he continued to just stare. Why in the world was he doing this? I barely even knew the man, he practically a complete stranger, yet, just by the look in his eyes, I couldn't even imagine myself not knowing him. His eyes told me everything, the agony that he's been through, the hardships of being a prodigy, the tantalizing taste for power, but then there was something else that he seemed to be hiding with at all cost, and I couldn't even tell what it was.

I'm sure that the blood under my cheeks did not go away, in fact, I was pretty sure that more came up. Itachi's cold, stern hand did not stray as his leaned down. I closed my eyes tightly; afraid of what he was going to do.

"Afraid?" he simply whispered into my ear.

My lips pursed together, did he know my thoughts? Wait - how was I even afraid of him? Him of all people? I doubted that my mind could come up with a reason. I felt my stomach lurch forward, something wanted to come out and I soon knew what it was. Butterflies started to flood my throat and I couldn't speak. Itachi's lips faintly went in an upwards motion, a smirk.

"I thought so," he whispered again.

How dare he! How fucking dare he do this to me! He couldn't just intimidate me with those crimson eyes which held so much power to them, so many secrets that - for some odd reason - I wanted to know. I wanted to know all of his secrets; I wanted to make them mine...

"You don't know anything about me, Uchiha." I growled back.

His smirk faltered and I smirked at this. A frown was set on his lips and they came closer to my ear, almost touching me, only tickling the hairs around my ear.

"I can learn," he whispered deviously, smirking yet again.

What was up with him? When did he act like this? It was inexplicable and unbelievably frustrating! He was being so absurd that it was practically irritating me in a way that I couldn't quite comprehend. Uchiha Itachi was never like this. He wasn't so...frivolous; then again, he wasn't at all! Why in the world was he acting like this? It wasn't as if he wanted something from me, he would have already had it by now.

Yet at the same time, something deep in the pit of my stomach was looking for what he wanted at the same time. It was incomprehensible! What in the world would he want from me, and then me of him? Questions upon more questions popped in and out of my head that I was soon going to fall over from the headache that I was beginning to get. Somehow the breath that he breathed and the smell that was emitting of his body made my body feel so...curious. It was curious to know what it was. A different feeling that convulsed through my veins and I didn't want to stop it, but I knew that I had to.

"Leave, Uchiha." I barked at him quietly, wanting free from this madness that he sent my body through.

The frown on his face returned and he backed up away from me. A fierce glare was on my face and it showed plainly. My fists were clenched tightly and I was tempted to punch him in the face for making me this way. I wanted him out; I didn't want to have to go through what he was sending me through. Odd, that made perfect sense.

Ever since that day in my room, things just haven't been the same. Everyone's been acting weird, even Leader. I don't know what's wrong with everyone, but it seemed odd to me that everyone was acting so absurd. Everyone barely said anything, and I was beginning to think that it was somehow my fault, but what could I have done to make everyone like this? Nothing, absolutely nothing I tell you! I couldn't take to anyone anymore, and I found myself avoiding Itachi lately. We weren't the best of friends you could say. I wouldn't like to know or to admit that he was teasing me the last time that we actually talked. That was the one time ever that we actually said a few words to each to make a conversation.

I tried to communicate with the others, tried to; it just didn't seem to work. Even with Deidara, the one who tries to get my attention all the time seemed to back down from me when I tried to find something to talk about with him. I just couldn't comprehend it, why was everyone ignoring me!? It seemed like they were ignoring me for some reason, and I wanted to know. I wouldn't go on in life without knowing why the people that I live with are ignoring me. Why? Because I'll go crazy!

"Kuroda," someone said from behind me.

I turned quickly to see who it was, and it was Itachi. Surprise, surprise... Was this guy stalking me or something? Wherever I went, Itachi would just pop out and call my name, rolling it off his tongue that sent shivers down my spine-

"What do you want, Uchiha?" I asked, putting a hand on my hip, I wasn't in the best mood to talk with him now. I wanted to know why everyone was avoiding me. I was trying to rid the thoughts of him, and he wasn't helping any! I had things better to do.

I gasped when I felt a kunai at my neck and an arm around my waist from behind.

"Afraid?" he asked again, taunting me.

The cool blade came in contact with my pale skin, and I grimaced at him as my neck arched across his own shoulder, trying to avoid getting cut by the kunai knife. I glared at him harshly through the top of my eyes, seeing as how I couldn't move my body any more. The kunai approached my neck again and it lightly touched my skin, but it did not cut me. I clenched my teeth and balled my fists. But the kunai started to push deeper into my skin, almost drawing blood.

"Don't move." he whispered in my ear, his hand around my waist was beginning to run across my hip and behind my back. His hand had previously slipped underneath my cloak, and I could feel his cold skin radiating off onto mine. His fingers touched the pouch on my hip and his fingers slipped leisurely into it, grabbing onto something and then pulling it back out.

He showed it in front of my face and I scoffed, wishing that I could turn my head the other way so that I didn't have to look at it.

"So this is what Leader-dono was talking about," he whispered in my ear, his head leaned onto mine, only annoying me more, which was the whole reason why he was even doing it. His lips touched my ear, "You're going after Orochimaru..."

"What of it?" I asked him, wanting to spit on his face for being absolutely indecorous.

"Nothing," he plainly said, I felt the kunai dig into my skin and I felt a slight stinging on my neck. He had cut into my skin and slowly, deep crimson liquid started to slowly leek out. It poured slowly onto the kunai he was holding and I took a sharp but deep breath, already feeling the effects of my blood being spilled. Itachi knew that I couldn't stand the smell of blood. He knew that I had a bad past with it, yet somehow, he found my blood simply delectable.

"Uchiha-"

"What do you have against him? Failure, power, greed," he started to list off emotions that I knew deep down in my heart were true, "Dishonor, fear..." he continued, his lips moved from my ear to my cheek, he rose the kunai to eye level so that both of us could see the liquid that began to trickle down my chest. "Regret..."

"Where are you going with this Uchiha?" I asked angrily, I didn't have the time for him to torture me like this.

"Hate him, detest him," he started out, his words rippling in my ears like soft bells, "Cling to your life in an unsightly way, and seek revenge on him..."

My eyes closed halfway as I took in what he was saying, what if he was right? What if Itachi was right about this? Should I seek revenge on him, or just try and forget about it. The paper that was holding up in front of my seemed to coax me on to try and find him, seek him, destroy him.

The anger flared in my veins and I felt my eyebrows crease. I wanted him dead, I wanted me to kill him, I wanted his blood on my sword, on my rose...

Itachi's words seemed to ring through my head with each passing second that I breathed. I kept thinking how right he could be, but then again, how wrong he could be at the same time. I weighed the chances of what would happen to me if I died or lived. It seems I knew what both were like, I was living in hell right now, and I knew that I choose it, I can never escape it. And oh, did I know that.

I looked at the piece of paper that was clutched in my hand, the yellow piece of paper that was tainted with the color of red. The crude letters on it written proudly, written as if he was proud of what he had done to my parents. I glared at the piece of paper and stuffed it back into my pouch, I closed my and let out a long sigh.

I re-opened my eyes and started to run, jumping over rocks and my feet making a slight "tapping" sound. I wanted to see him; I wanted to murder him with my own hands...

Suddenly, I was pushed down and since I was running on water, I fell into the water. I gasped as soon as the icy water hit my skin and water got trapped within my mouth. I opened my eyes and let out the water in my mouth, opening my mouth to see Itachi hovering above me in the water.

"Uchiha?" I tried to say, but all I heard was mumbling from my mouth and bubbles forming out of my mouth.

Itachi suddenly swan swiftly to me, to quickly that I couldn't see him for a second. I felt weight on my stomach and I suddenly knew that he was pushing me down, pushing me down farther and farther.

I hit rock bottom and my lungs were starting to beg for air. Small bubbles formed from my mouth as I felt my eyes close. So, Itachi ends up killing me. I couldn't even get close to Orochimaru, I didn't even-

Suddenly my lips were crushed with another, my head taken between two cold hands, and my body being pressed up against another. My eyes snapped open to the reality of Uchiha Itachi kissing me. Everything in my body was limp, I felt like a rag doll, and I couldn't help but feel those smooth, soft, perfect lips move against mine until mine finally molded back. Why in the world did they do that? Was it my intention to mold mine back, to make his feel like they belonged there? For some odd reason, his lips did feel right on mine. My hands seemed to have a mind of their own, and one of them found a way to Itachi's face. My eyes had already closed, and my lungs didn't seem the need of air any longer. Itachi was giving me the air that I needed.

Itachi's right hand trailed down my shoulder and down my arm, sliding down until he found the opening of my cloak. He slipped his hands underneath and he glided his hand to my back. He gave a sudden forceful tug on my back and I felt my body crushed against his. His hand trailed down my thigh and it suddenly hooked around behind my knee. He pulled again and my leg was pulled up to his hip, allowing him to push himself into me more. His other hand - the one on my face - slipped behind my neck and he pushed his lips onto mine more forcefully. Boy was this man vigorous!

I don't know how he did it, but his lips persuaded mine into moving back. Becoming animate enough to kiss him back, him receiving the response for what he wanted. My other hand found life and it ended up behind his neck and I pulled myself to him, grinding my body against his. His kiss stopped for only a second, not even, because he grunted out a moan.

Our kiss was fierce, powerful, passionate, and who knows what else. I just wanted to keep going. This...addiction he was to me, he was so much like a drug. I wanted more of him ever passing second, let alone minute. Was this the beast that was lurking around in me? In my body that it trembled when it didn't get what it wanted. But now that it did, its fire was spreading through my body and taking over me. Was this what I wanted? I wanted Uchiha Itachi?

Itachi must have read my thoughts, because his tongue slipped into my mouth as soon as my mouth automatically opened. Now, that was not my intention to do so. They just...opened up to him, wanting him to explore my undiscovered region. God, did he taste so fine...He seemed even better when my tongue started to move onto his, massaging his in a way that I didn't even think was legal.

His hand found the buttons to my cloak and he just flipped them open, just so simple to him. My cloak flooded open and I found his hands touching my body, my skin. They rounded my shoulders then slid down my arms, moving to the sides of my abdomen and rubbing softly, his fingertips doing wonders.

Slowly, his fingertips found the bottom edge of my shirt and they started sliding up. I gasped and coughed slightly when his cold finger tips touched my hidden skin. His hands rubbed softly - yet forcefully - on my skin. I felt sudden movement, and I soon felt cold wind strike my body and I felt and heard myself panting deeply. My black hair was clinging to my face and my cloak was still opened. Itachi still stared straight at me, his Sharingan eyes still piercing straight at me. I almost felt intimidated by them - still.

He started to swim towards me again and I treaded water and moved backwards, what more could this man do to me? My back hit the rocky surface of the barrier that our hideout was hidden in and I stared straight at him, my black and red eyes still staring straight at him. It was hard, because there was no bottom to touch, and still panting from what he just did to me didn't help any. His arm came above me, trapping within a barricade, made from his body and his hand, not allowing me to go anywhere. His head leaned forward again, and I was expecting him to make some rude remark to me, but instead he said, "Don't go to Orochimaru, not yet..."

My forehead creased, why in the world would he say that when he was the one who told me to go after him. What does this man want me to do?

"Why?"

I felt his smirk form on his lips as he whispered to me in my ear, "We have unfinished business, meet me in my room later."

And just like that, he just suddenly disappeared. I leaned forward a little bit and I let out a long and drawled out sigh. Then I leaned back again and relaxed myself against the rock. I felt my lips curve upwards, wait - was I smiling? Itachi made me smile?!

Okay, now I knew something was wrong with me.

I couldn't explain how I felt as I was sneaking my way to his room. Was this even legal? To have full physical intercourse with someone who you barely even talk to? Someone you didn't even realize you liked? It was odd, in my opinion; I didn't even know what I was doing. Wait - I do, and for some inexplicable reason, I wanted it so bad.

I didn't even realize that I had reached his door until I put my hand on the bar that had to be pulled down to open. Full reality just crashed onto me at the one second.

I'm going to have... I couldn't even think of the word in my head let alone say it. Was I really ready to do this? I hadn't imagined doing this with someone for a long time.

My hand began to pull the handle and when it was open, I pushed forward. I didn't even think that I was going to be doing this when I was married, I didn't even-

All thoughts suddenly stopped at what I was staring at. Itachi was on his bed, one hand by his head, the other laid lazily across his bare abdomen. Itachi's muscles showed immensely and his black hair that was neatly pulled back into the long ponytail was laid over his shoulder, flowing down like a long streak of black silver.

I didn't think that I was going to have sex with someone so...gorgeous...

The black, silk covers wrapped around his body and I thought that I couldn't wake someone up who looked so...godly. I thought that I could just stare at him instead of being physical.

Then again...Seeing him completely bare was a much better opinion in my mind. Wait - what was I thinking?! I kept arguing in my mind over and over again for the past, what seemed, forever. I didn't even realize that I started to pace. I had closed the door a long time ago, locking it just in case.

What was I thinking? Having...sex with him?

I can do it, why not? My less noble side exulted. My head was full of the pleasure already starting to spasm in my stomach.

No, no, no! I argued with myself. I shook my head, but suddenly, it was held in place, stopping it.

I looked up; Itachi was standing there in front of me, holding my face in between his hands and a rather dirty looking emotion in his eyes. Something was written in there, engraved in there that I still couldn't decipher.

"Took your time," he whispered in my ear, teasing me.

"Hn," I mumbled as my head found the crook of his neck as I moved up to him, curving my body to his until I felt comfortable, which was almost immediate.

"I want to prove something to you." He whispered, I could barely hear him, but I knew what he had said.

"And that would be?" I started to say, wanting to know. What would he have to prove to me, out of all people?

"Don't you want to find out?" he asked. His lips touching my cheek, his voice vibrated, he was purring purposely, and he knew that I liked it.

"Now," I asked idiotically.

He purred again, his voice smooth and silky, his hand roaming my hips and pulling my closer, "Of course."

His other hand cupped my chin and I looked up into his eyes. I didn't have time to look at him though; his lips had crashed onto mine, and the sweet, addicting taste crept onto my tongue. I darted my tongue into his mouth without any more questions asked. I wanted him, and he wanted me.

He pushed me against the damp, cold, and hard wall. Hitching his other hand around my leg again, lowering to my knee and then holding it up by his hip, just like in the stream. I made a whimpering noise and I held myself up by standing on my tiptoes and wrapping my arms around his neck. He grinded his lower half into me and I crooned, an unexpected sound coming from me, but he seemed to like it.

I smirked against his lips as one of my hands found its way to his cloak, ripping the front part of it open and then forcing it off him, receiving a grunt from him in return. Oh, how I loved that sound coming from him. He ended up taking off my cloak without any trouble at all and his hands touched my shoulders again, lowering down my arm and then coming up to my neck; curving them around my neck like they were protecting it. Then he trailed his hands down my chest and stomach, tugging at my shirt.

I made a low chuckle; this would be a long and memorable night...

I didn't realize how exhausted I would be after I did it. I didn't know how much mental strength I had to put in it just to get something that convulsed my body with such pleasure that it still made me dizzy. Hot, sweaty, the air sticky and sweltering that I almost didn't want to breathe it, I looked at the person lying next to me. My bangs clung to my face and I smiled lightly, barely even to call one a smile, at him. Itachi was panting next to me, perspiration beaded on his body and him shining like the god that he was. His eyes were closed, but I still knew that he was awake. I stared at him, unable to pull my eyes from him.

Making love was probably the best thing that I have ever experienced. Hearing about it so many times was nothing compared to actually doing it. I never comprehended what would happen if I would, but who cares now. I did it, and with the - probably most - gorgeous man on earth.

He turned his head and he looked at me, now unable to take his gaze from me. I smiled at him again and I moved towards him, my sweaty body meeting with his, oddly cold one. I snuggled up to him, touching my lips with the hollow of his throat.

"What did you have to prove to me?" I asked, murmuring it into the hollow of his throat. I sighed aloud, feeling my eyes close slowly. I felt tired as can be.

Itachi's arm wrapped itself around my waist and pulled me up so that my head was right next to his, so that he could whisper into my ear.

"To prove how much I love you..."

"If you want a red rose, you must build it out of music by moonlight, and stain it with your own heart's blood..."

- Oscar Wilde