1Well, when Jack has a really good day, because he is looking forward to his vacation, then he picks on Daniel even more than usual... But let's see where it will get him!

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SG1 was once again in a seemingly hopeless situation, surrounded by grave robbers on some strange planet.

"Put your weapons down! We have Zednikitels!" shouted the leader of the robbers.

"Haha! But we have Teal'c!" O'Neill said triumphantly from his cover. "Teal'c, bite!!"

Teal'c raised one eyebrow, then he suddenly rushed over to the robbers, and beat them up good and proper in old-school Jaffa-style, while his symbiont gave him superhuman powers. Some of the robbers, however, managed to escape.

"Good boy!" Jack praised him after the fight, and patted Teal'c's bald.

"Where is the rest?" Daniel asked, shaking in his boots.

"Why don't you go and look yourself?!" Jack commented annoyed. But Daniel hid behind the big rock again.

"Oy, small Dannyboy is afraid!" Jack laughed, while quite sobs sounded from behind the rock.

"No problem, Sir, I'm going to look for that guys..." Carter said, who really wasn't in the moos now for this eternal 'Jack-is-picking-on-Daniel'-game.

"No Carter, that won't be necessary!" Jack stopped her.

"Sir?" asked Sam in her typical innocent way.

"We have Teal'c!" he added with a big grin. Then he turned to Teal'c.

"Teal'c, find! Find and destroy!"

"O'Neill?" Tealc's eyebrow raising was much more skeptical than usual

"Do it, Teal'c. Trust your nose!" Jack said to the Jaffa warrior.

"If you think so, O'Neill..." Teal'c replied and went after the robbers.
Sniffling and snooping he blazed his trail through the undergrowth until they arrived at the thieves' hideout. There, they once again won heroically.

"Gooood, Teal'c!" Jack praised, while Teal'c spat out the back leg of one of the thieves.

"Therefore you get a special prize!" Jack said generously. He rummaged around in his backpack and pulled out something in a colorful plastic packaging.

"Here's a cookie, because you've helped us to grab these thieves!"
He grabbed a second time in the backpack.

"And this one is for you, Carter!"

"Uh, erm... What for, Sir?" Sam asked confusedly, while she unwrapped the cookie.

"Because I like you, that's why!"

"I want one too!" Daniel cried, and looked with big eyes at Sam's cookie.

"Daniel, you have done nothing today!" Jack stated soberly.

"When you show me the remains of an ancient civilization, like pots, pans, a pyramid for my sake, then you get a cookie" he grinned.

"I've found lots of pots and pans here already!" Daniel protested.

"But no pyramid..."
Jack took the last cookie, unpackaged it slowly and pleasurably ate it in front of Daniel's teary eyes.

"Mmmh, tasty..." Jack then added.

"Slowly, I have the impression that you hate me, Jack" Daniel whimpered with wet eyes.

"Shall I tell you something, Daniel?" Jack went to Daniel and looked directly into his eyes. "You're really a sharp one!"

All together they went back to the village. Once they arrived, Daniel hid in his lodge, and analyze his discoveries of pots and pans.

"Alright, Come on! Lets get to the Stargate!" Jack whispered to the others, when Daniel was out of sight.

"And what about Daniel?" Sam asked worriedly.

"Who?" Jack replied with a big grin.

A few minutes later.

"Guys?"

Daniel looked around. He had searched in the whole village (yes, that was possible to do in a few minutes)
"Guys? Teal'c? Sam?"

Daniel didn't worry so much about the fact that he was alone, but more about the strange behavior of the villagers.


In the Stargate Center.

"That's not funny, Colonel!" Sam protested.

"Yeah, because you are a woman!"

"What is this supposed to mean, please?!"

"It's okay Carter, cool down. It was just a joke. We just kidded small Danny a little bit!"

In the background Teal'c and General Hammond, the two bald heads, lay in each others arms and laughed tears.

"That's not nice ..." Carter sulked.

"But funny!" Jack added.

"Well, then we need to go back now and pick him up, or how long did you plan to leave him alone with these cannibals?"

She was so incredibly bossy, and when she also made her sulky face, Jack couldn't refuse her anything usually. But this time Jack was prepared.

"He can decide himself when he wants to return. I've left him a GDO. He can come back whenever he wants"
Jack stretched and was now ready to start his well-deserved holiday.

"Besides, nothing brings me back to this goddamned planet!"

"O'Neill?" Jack stopped when he heard Teal'c's warning voice. Teal'c showed him the second GDO, that actually should be with Daniel.

"Damn."

"We're already gone, Sir!" Sam said joyfully to General Hammond, who burst out laughing even more, when he saw Jack's facial expression.

"But - but... can't someone else -" Jack protested complaining.

"Oh SG1, you're killing me!" General Hammond laughed, then he left the Stargate room without noticing Jack's protest.

Back on the planet PX whowhywhat.
"Daniel, are you okay?" Sam asked worriedly, after they had passed the event horizon.

"You are so mean!" Daniel whined, crouching on the stairs in front of the Stargate.

"We're so sorry, Daniel ..." Sam said sensitively and lay an arm around him.

"We only followed Colonel O'Neill's orders" said Tealc, and you could hear the regret in his voice. He also sat down next to Daniel.

"Hey! That's not fair! Why do you stab me in the back now?!" Jack moaned.

No response.

"What!? You laughed too! Now come on, Daniel, my holiday started half an hour ago!"

"No!" Daniel replied defiantly.

"What's that fuss about now?! Lets go!" Jack now whined.

"Only if I get a cookie!" Daniel insisted.

Sam and Teal'c supported this request with a nod.

"That's crazy!" cried the poor, holiday-needing Jack.

"So, I shall go back now, get a cookie and then come here again, or what?!"

No response.

"That can't be - that is -... Ah! Well! I'm right back ..."

Now the others decided to notice him again.

"Well, Sir. What goes around comes around. Sometime later, sometimes sooner!" Sam said gleefully, when Jack typed in the home address.

"Spare me your precocious sayings, Major!" Jack muttered. He was in a damn bad mood.
He disappeared through the event horizon without saying another word.

Later.

"Do we have a GDO?"

"No ..."

"So we have to wait until he returns from his holiday... And that would be in... two weeks" Daniel said soberly.

"He will come back..." Teal'c said, but you could hear the uncertainty in his voice.
"How long is he gone now?" Daniel asked Sam.

"32 Minutes" Sam noted, bored out of her mind.

Suddenly, the Stargate opened.

"Hello!" Jack cried, as he stepped out oh the event horizon - carrying a huge backpack.

"Sir..?" Sam asked. She probably didn't know herself, what exactly she wanted to ask. Maybe it was just a reaction to the unexpected fact, that the Colonel actually returned.

"Well? Have you looked around for a nice place?" Jack asked good-humored.

"Cookie!" Daniel demanded.

"You are very welcome, Daniel" Jack said, and gave Daniel his cookie.

"What's in it, Sir?" Sam pointed at the large backpack.

"That?" Jack asked innocently. Then he started to unpack.

"Hehe, that's a blanket, a barbeque, meat and a whole basket full of tasty delicacies!"

"A picnic, a picnic!" Teal'c squeaked, clapping his hands like a happy little child.

"Exactly. And I'm sorry Daniel... What happened to you sleeve aynway? Why is it so frazzled and blood-soaked?"

"Oh, that's only because these insane cannibals tried to eat me!" Daniel said happily.

Now it was time for the obligatory final laugh:

"Hahahahaha hahaha hahahahaha hahaha haaahahahaaa"