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Summary: Janeway reflects on becoming a mother in 'Threshold', once she goes back for said children.

Author's Note: Instead of finding Janeway & Paris in a matter of days, it takes Voyager roughly three to four weeks to find the pair.

Pairs: J/P

Reflections of a New Mother

By

Peacejaw

I am a mother of three children. They are three beautiful children, three children who I could not have imagined having before now. Yes, I wanted children, but that hope was destroyed when we landed in the Delta Quadrant. A Captain never dates or marries someone under command you see, even when that Captain is about seventy thousand light years from home.

Starfleet Command probably would make an exception in my case considering we ARE so far from, but I'll probably never know for certain. That choice of seeking answers from Starfleet Command has been taken out of my hands; when Tom Paris took me along for the second ride beyond the warp ten barrier, it changed things for the both of us.

Neither one of us could have imagined the consequences of that ride. Three children, who we now have aboard Voyager, will grow up with us on our long journey home. The doctor assures us that the children are healthy, that they will grow into three wonderful HUMAN adults just nicely.

The Doctor managed to convert the children to their human form, which Tom and I are both thankful for. The only difference, it seems, is that they will age faster than human children. As he explained it, their growth will be similar to Ktarian children. Little Naomi Wildman now has three playmates that will grow up at the same rate as her.

I don't quite know what to feel about that, or how I feel about becoming a mother so quickly. With human pregnancies, you have nine months to prepare for the child's arrival. In this case, however, the children were conceived and born within a matter of weeks. There was no time to process that we were about to become parents, no time to set up our quarters for a family, and no time for us to even begin to get as close as what we were on that planet.

I am having B'Elanna and her engineering team connect a room for the children to my bedroom, set up that room for three young children, and set up a spate area on the other side of my bedroom. There is no need, or room, to add another room to the quarters, so we have to make do with the space we have available.

Tom seems okay with the arrangements. Who knows, maybe one day we will be married to one another. However, neither one of us is quite ready to take that step in our relationship just yet. We will get there, I'm sure, but it will definitely be some time yet.

We have three children, two boys and one girl. Tom and I have talked about names some, and the only request that he had was that we not name either one of the boys 'Owen' after his father. While I'm disappointed that the name 'Owen' has been taken off the table, I can't say that I blame Tom for not wanting to name his first boy Owen. He is not ready to face the demons of his childhood, or his relationship with his father.

In the meantime, I can wait to name any future children that we have 'Owen'… assuming that we do have more children to give the name to. For now, though, I am content to name our three beautiful children Ian Thomas, Edward Jonathan, and Caroline Evanna Janeway-Paris. I decided not to name our little girl Shannon after one of my ancestors because the name didn't seem right for this little girl. Caroline seems so perfect for our first little girl.

Tom seems happy with the names. Now all we have to do is wait for the Doctor to discharge all of us to our new and improved quarters. That probably won't happen until the Doc is certain that our quarters is baby proofed, but I don't anticipate too much of a wait. Samantha Wildman, little Naomi's mother, is helping out with the changes to my … our … quarters and is making sure that everything will be properly handled.

I am a mother of three. I don't know how I'll manage to captain this ship as well as take care of my children, but I guess that I'll learn as I go. If Samantha Wildman can do it, then I can too. Who knows, maybe Tom and I will one day be a couple, or better yet –a married couple? I guess that I'll just have to wait and see, now won't I?