Hey! So I'm not too sure where this one came from...But the title is from this song Voices by an amazing band named Devilskin.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the title.
When Alexander Lightwood woke up on Monday morning, for about thirty seconds, it just felt like any other morning. He was about to push Church off his chest, like he had to do whenever he was at his boyfriends apartment, but then he stopped, one of his hands resting on the cats fur, and his chest suddenly contracted and he felt like he could barely breathe. His fingers curled into Church's fur and he began gasping for breath, coming out in short, hard gasps.
"Alec," Magnus was at his side in an instant. "Alec, just breathe, it's okay." Alec had to suck in a few short breaths through his teeth, and Magnus was shooing Church away and helping him sit up. "It's alright, it's alright," he repeated, brushing Alec's hair away from his face and pressing a kiss to his temple. Alec managed to even out his breathing, and when he did, his eyes were straight away drawn to the open laptop at the end of the bed. He made a move for it but Magnus shook his head, quickly getting up and picking up the laptop. "I don't think that's a good idea," he said.
"Why?" Alec couldn't help that his voice was already hard, instantly on defense as he remembered everything that had gone down the night before.
"You're the one who always said that it's a bad idea to Google yourself," Magnus pointed out, already backing out of the bedroom.
"Magnus," Alec said warningly, getting out of bed and advancing on him quickly. Magnus disappeared into the next room and Alec sighed as he went after him.
Yes, Magnus was right. When you were a public figure, you quickly learnt that searching yourself on Google was one of the worst ideas. There were ridiculous amount so untrue news and theories on there that it would actually be laughable if so many people didn't take it seriously. Then there were the Facebook and Twitter fanpages and accounts that also bordered on a little creepy. Searching yourself on Tumblr was terrible for a whole other reason...Alec would never be able to get some of the fanart of him and his co-worker in Idris Royalty, Jace Herondale, out of his head.
But this particular circumstance was different.
"Magnus," Alec repeated as he came out into the lounge and then stopped short when he saw three people sitting on the couch. There was his sister, Isabelle Lightwood, his co-worker and best friend, Jace, and his publicist, Clarissa Morgenstern, and he was glad that he was at least he was wearing a pair of sleeping pants. As he looked around at the four people who were pretty much the most important ones to him in the world, he felt his stomach twist in a way that made him think maybe he should be near the bathroom or a bowl in case the dinner Magnus had cooked last night came back up. "What's going on?" Alec managed to choke out, but he knew why they were all here.
Two nights ago had been the premiere for a movie that had already been dubbed the 'movie of the summer'. It had two of the biggest names in Hollywood in it—Sebastian Verlac and Camille Belcourt—and Alec was in it as well, in a rather prominent role. It was his biggest movie role yet, and if it was received well, then it could be the opening of the door from the TV program life to the big screen that all actors dreamed of.
The premiere had been incredible, and while Magnus had not been by his side most of the evening, since he was officially there as Isabelle's date, rather than his own, just knowing that his boyfriend was there had been enough for Alec to push through his nerves and get through the evening. The movie had been received well by the audience, and the reviews started pouring in, and they were all favorable so far. There were remarks specifically about Alec himself, praising him for managing to hold his own on the screen next to two actors that had been in the business since they were children.
And then the pictures were released.
Alec had been so careful.
He had learnt how to be careful since he was thirteen and realized that he was attracted to guys and not girls, although it was completely different when you were in the public eye. He had come out to his parents when he was fifteen—Isabelle and Jace had been right there by his side the whole time—which was when he had first started acting in small TV roles. That had been hard, and he had been crying and heaving, and had nearly passed out twice. His parents hadn't been the best about it, especially his father, but he came around, although it had taken a long time, longer than his mother, and even to this day, there were some strained moments between them.
Alec hadn't been ready to come out to the world, and he definitely hadn't been ready for someone else to force him to come out.
It didn't matter how progressive the world was and how many leaps and bounds the LGBTQA community had taken, there was always going to be backlash.
Backlash for just being himself.
Backlash for just loving who he wanted to love.
There was going to be judgement, there were going to be names, there were going to crude remarks and while Alec knew that he would have the support of his friends and family, he didn't know if that would be enough to get him through.
He didn't know if his career would survive, and for as long as he could remember, being an actor was all he had wanted.
"Alec..." Isabelle's voice was soft as she got up from the couch and came over to where he was standing. She put her hand on his bare arm and gave it a slight squeeze. "It's going to be okay."
"You don't know that..." Alec said, his voice scratchy. At his words, he saw Magnus' shoulders slump a little, and he sighed. Magnus had been out and proud for as long as Alec had known him, and he had always been incredible patient with Alec. They had been together for nearly three years now, and Alec knew that time was running out, he couldn't keep hiding this, and in all honesty, he didn't want to keep hiding it. He and Clary had been talking about the best way for him to make the announcement, and they had been thinking within the next couple of the months.
But some paparazzi with absolutely no moral compass had gotten photos of Alec and Magnus in some very intimate moments and they were plastered all over the internet now.
Alec had thrown up when it happened.
It hadn't only been the fact that his secret was out to the world before he had been ready, it was also the fact that there were naked photos of himself and Magnus out there for everyone to see.
Magnus had never signed up for any of this.
Alec took in a deep breath and he walked over to Magnus, taking the laptop from him, putting it on the wooden breakfast bar and wrapping his arms around his boyfriend. He felt sick and furious over the fact that someone had taken away his right at telling the world who he was.
But he felt even more furious over the fact that someone had exposed the person that he loved most of all in one of the most vulnerable and intimate moments of a persons life.
He had spent last night feeling sorry for himself, ignoring calls from his agent, dry heaving in the bathroom and scrambling for ideas on what he was going to do with the rest of his life if his acting career fell through.
Magnus had been there the whole time.
And Alec hadn't even thought to support Magnus, he had only been thinking about himself.
"I'm so sorry, Mags," Alec murmured. "I'm so sorry." Magnus gave him a tight hug but the pulled back. He gave him a small smile, but it was genuine.
"It's okay, Alexander," he assured him quietly, his smile turning wry. "I have no bad angles. The more of the world that is blessed with photos of this toned figure, the better off everyone will be." Alec managed a snort in surprise and pulled his boyfriend back into his arms. A few moments went by, and then Alec felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see Clary there, the red head giving him an encouraging smile.
"It's going to be okay, Alec," she told him. Alec managed a short nod, even though he wasn't sure if he believed her.
"No," Jace stood up and came over. "Really, Alec. It's going to be okay." Alec's eyebrows pulled together, wondering where their certainty was coming from.
"Sebastian went online today, on his official Twitter account," Isabelle said, joining them, tapping her thumb over the screen of her phone. "Pretty much dragging the press for their invasion of privacy and how they feel they have the right to every aspect of peoples lives. Saying that they didn't have the right, and stating his support for you."
"Also saying that he was bisexual and although he was currently dating a girl, that didn't erase his sexuality, and no one should be judged on the gender of the person they love," Magnus whispered.
"And Aline Pehallow officially came out as gay," Clary added.
"So did Helen Blackthorn," Isabelle smiled.
"And there have been a crazy number of fans tweeting you and plastering over your Facebook how much they love you and support you," Jace told him, resting an arm over his shoulders. "There was an interview done this morning where Lilith practically tore apart the presenter when she asked what she thought about it. Saying that actors and actresses and singers were all people with private lives and they had the right not to disclose things they weren't ready for yet."
"And then..." Magnus took in a deep breath and pulled away from Alec. "Then there's this..." he grasped Alec's hand and tugged at it. He pulled him through the lounge and to the far window that faced the street. Alec frowned, wondering what was going on, when they got to the other side of the of the lounge and Magnus threw back the heavy curtain. There was still the netted curtain that shielded them from the full force of the sun that was shining through the window, but it didn't stop them from being able to see down onto the street in front of the apartment building.
"What the fu..." Alec breathed out and he felt movement at his back, probably the others surrounding him, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from sight in front of them.
"I don't know how they found out I live here," Magnus said, although his voice sounded far away. "One of the staff probably said something..."
There was a crowd.
A crowd—not a mob.
They were flooded over the whole street, crowding the footpath, stopping traffic, and a lot of them were hiding signs. They were pretty, multi-coloured signs and banners, the Pride flag swinging from a lot of peoples hands and none of them looked angry. None of them looked as though they were angry, or judging him, or felt as though he had betrayed them by keeping this part of his life a secret from them.
"We've all got your back," Jace's voice was quiet but firm. "Not just us in this room—all of us. We're right here." Looking down on the crowd on the street, the smiles and the support that they were declaring on their posters and signs.
"It's going to be okay," Magnus said, slipping an arm around Alec's waist and giving it a squeeze.
And Alec believed them.
Let me know what you think x