Title: Whilst in Wonderland (For the lack of a smile)
Fandom: Harry Potter
Genre: Romance, Smuff, Ginny Bashing,
Pairing: HP/DM (in that sexual order… if you're going to have Draco being the dominant male in a slash pairing with Harry put it as DM/HP. Christ almighty! I do sometimes worry for the common logic of some fan fiction writers, I really do. [Soapbox moment finished, I think.]
Rating: R is for Restricted, older people of the legal adult age only…unless you're corrupted young…then, well yeah…you shouldn't but you will, so yeah…
Chapters: 1/1 One-shot! [Yayyy! no waiting for updates]
Summary: "Off with their heads!" The shrill yet authoritative command cut through the air… Harry clutched at his aching head, the last thing he remembered was lots of skin and heart shaped lips
Warnings: Language, Slight angst at one point, Slash of the MaleXMale kind… [turn back now ye who be of the homophobic persuasion, I don't want your nasty, old fashioned flames!] Crackiness, Bad character description and lack of ability to stick to characters being 'in character', explicit slash, Cross-dressing (of sort) and Ginny bashing…because I hate that simpering bint! (excuse my language…you read the language warning didn't you?)
A/N: okay so, this here fic is fairly cracky, it's not exactly PWP but at the same time it kind of is… written because the plot bunny was extra delicious and as a vain attempt to try and regain my writing muse; in order to continue at least one of the other fics of mine, that so far have been abandoned upon uninspired hiatus. T-T
Extra A/N: I wish I'd wrote this around valentines, would have suited the theme well and as a mention, this fic takes the view there has been no Voldemort since CoS and thus disregards any books written thereafter.
Extra, Extra A/N: I drew (poor) arts: see here, just delete the spacesss - http : / / miseria-chan. deviantart. com / # / d3h b08v
"Ladies and Gentlemen!" Dean Thomas announced to the students invited to the Ravenclaw held; 'Valentines Party'
…he was still the best announcer and thus was used for it, despite his difference in house.
"We are about to begin Ravenclaw's first ever Valentine's Day party! However, first of all we must announce who is our 'King of Hearts'! Your votes have been counted and verified and it is my pleasure to tell you that, your King…is…none other… than the great…The brilliant…the fantastic…the extraordinary!…Mr. Harry Potter!"
A great cheer came from the majority of the guests as Harry was rather unceremoniously jostled onto the stage and a plastic and cheap Muggle crown, inlaid with valentine's hearts, placed upon his head as the crowd whooped and cheered again.
"Now your royal highness! Before you go off to get ready into your outfit for this evening! You must tell us, who will join you and be your queen?" Dean Thomas said his words clearly and with a bow but Harry felt joke mockery in his tone.
The room fell deathly silent, the girls leaned forward especially.
Ginny produced a smug smile upon her plain face and looked expectant and batted her eyelashes at him with a sort of self confidence in the likelihood of him choosing her; his on and off girlfriend.
Lavender Brown pushed up her breasts in her dress to make her cleavage her best asset, more visible and the Parvati twins clasped their hands in front of each other in a silent prayer, Even Cho Chang who Harry hadn't even laid eyes on since their breakup a year back, eyed him in a sort of 'pick me' way, even some of the guys looked interested…either that or they were clutching onto their respective girlfriends for dear life… like Ron was with Hermione... because harry was really going to pick her and hurt his best friend that way. Stupid Ron.
The only people not giving him such imploring looks were the members of Slytherin house.
Stood at the back and looking sourly at him and with despise or contempt as per usual, especially that particular blonde one who was glaring at him as if his look could kill. For a split and idiotically stupid second, Harry wondered if the blonde was even capable of smiling at him, rather than giving him that ugly sneer which did not meet the same caliber of the pureblood heir's level of appearance otherwise.
Someday Harry vowed, he would tell his blonde arch-rival with enough malice for him to take it into account, for once, rather than ignore his words and he would tell him that said sneer screwed up his porcelain face in such a way that made his delicate features appear overly pointed and ugly, turning what could be considered as a very attractive young man into a very ugly wretch and that all of the student body, who sexually worshipped that of the male gender, students including himself, would definitely be more than appreciative if he would lose the ugly expression that seemed to never leave his face and allow his beautiful features to radiate instead.
In short, he had a severe case of 'Draco on the brain' and unfortunately when asked the same question by the Gryffindor announcer again he answered with said boy's name, much to the shock and horror of about everyone in the room. Until a few plucky people realized that the Malfoy nemesis would need to don a dress and be paraded around in it for the rest of the evening and then they began to cheer once more.
Draco gave him a look of pure hatred as he was dragged without resistance, because it was beyond futile, by several Ravenclaw ladies and Gryffindor gentlemen, eager to create the outcome of the evening's 'queen'.
Harry internally died. This was not going to go well.
"Off with their heads!" The shrill yet authoritative command cut through the air and made the blurry room come into focus, with its many, many… too many… far too many hearts.
Harry got up disorientated and groggy and turned to find he had been sat upon a bright red chaise with a white fur throw over it and a large book titled, 'Alice's Adventures in Wonderland' which was laid haphazardly upon a nearby table with its wood carved into hearts similar to the frame of the chaise.
Harry clutched at his aching head, last he remembered a party with the majority of his year group plus some more, something concerning hearts and him being a king, an awful lot of firewhisky, plenty of chocolate, frantic kisses, lots of milky skin and heart shaped lips and finally something to the reckoning of a soft mattress.
At least he had made himself aware that this was now some whacked out dream induced by over consumption of alcohol and confectioned drugs. It was a good thing to keep in mind, especially when he decided to open the heart shaped door and was met with a rather irate looking version of Draco Malfoy; wearing what he could only describe as a gown, adorned with yet more embroidered hearts and embellished with red ribbons, his hair grown out yet braided into two buns covering his ears, his lips rouged and painted almost heart shaped and his cheekbones brightly rouged also, with scarlet hearts painted in the far corners of his eyes, contrasting against the pure white of his skin and silver eyes, a small feminine Italian prince's crown of diamonds with several ruby hearts and a red cushioned heart embedded sat upon his head in a tilted direction looking almost theatrical and heart shaped collar of reticella lace and jewels matched the red veil adorning his hair and a ribbon and ruffled choker covering the expanse of his slender neck.
In short Harry couldn't decide whether the blonde looked absolutely preposterous or amazing, whilst he looked perfectly imperial and the attire suited his self important and arrogant persona the red perhaps being the perfect colour to his skin tone, at the same time Harry couldn't help but note that perhaps it was a case of 'gilding the lily' with Gryffindor colours he would surely detest.
The Malfoy heir didn't need the extensive makeup or over the top costume to look beautiful, all he need to do was smile and not pulled that damned ugly sneer of his. However, this Draco Malfoy was simply scowling, his delicate lips pursed and tight with his cheeks hollowed making him look angrier than as per usual.
"Creevey has eaten one of my tarts again!" He hissed, pulling his arms down to his sides, straight and clenching his fists and by the sounds of things, stamping his foot, childishly. Harry stared at him bewildered for a bit, but then was soon pulled from his reverie when he heard the blonde's throat clear for his answer.
"Okay," he answered tentatively and black painted eyebrows knitted together in a tight frown at his response.
"What do you mean 'Okay'? It's treason! I demanded his head be removed instantly for his crime but your 'advisor' said I should get your opinion." Draco looked crossly at him now as it was his turn to frown at the Blondes antics, he couldn't help but feel the similarities to the classical book sat on the table with discard and tried to envisage that if this Draco was like his real life self – quick to snap and swift to judge, mixed with the Red Queen of Wonderland – quick to snap and swift to judge, would it be wise to try and mediate with him? On the other hand he didn't exactly want to be responsible for anyone's death… even if it was a dream.
"It's only a Tart." He decided to respond with and watched Draco's eyes widen and the blonde look horrified, "Nobody should die over something as insignificant as that." He felt his tone start to chide but stopped when he noted silver orbs now had a weird sort of betrayed look in them and they were beginning to wet with tears.
"You think they're insignificant," Draco whispered in a barely audible hush and began staring down and the heart tiled floor now and played with the simply wedding band on his manicured finger, "I see…Sorry to bother you with something so unimportant your majesty."
They stood in absolute silence for a whole minute Harry guessed as he watched a single tear slide down the painted face and hit the floor with a barely audible thud and then just stared at the small stain for a while.
"I..I'm not feeling that well…I think that I shall retire for some fresh air." Draco mumbled before bowing and literally running away, the supreme length of the veil being his last trace and Harry found himself in the corridor after following him a little before he went out of sight.
Sighing and massaging his temples at the blondes strange reaction in this 'weirded- out' dream he headed along the hallway in the opposite direction to a large double doorway that was slightly ajar from where he guessed Draco had entered originally.
Slowly he passed though it into a large room which had a sort of double throne and a desk where Ron was sat…working?
"Ron!" Harry called out rushing over to his red headed friend, who looked up from whatever documents he was dealing with and smiled at him.
"Hello your majesty, has the queen bothered you with his request to behead Creevey yet?" He greeted him and asked the question with the familiar humor and Harry smiled, passing off his title and Draco's, before dropping said smile and looking serious.
"Yes, I told him that nobody should die over something as insignificant over a tart, and then he burst into tears and ran off."
Ron's expression became sallow, his usual colour gone, "Your Majesty, he was upset because he made them especially for your anniversary tomorrow. He probably reacted like that because he's been kicked in the teeth three times now; first with the girls eating one, though he forgave them, then Creevey eating one on the sly whilst he should have been on duty and now with you telling him you don't give really give a shit anyway, whilst I agree the Queen's idea of punishment is a little extreme and that making tarts for you isn't exactly that big a deal, you could have been a little more diplomatic about it."
Harry instantly decided that he didn't like his dream Ron very much. Similar to Hermione giving him advice and reprimanding him, but when it came from Ron's mouth he couldn't' simply overlook it like he'd gotten used to with her.
Without another word to his friend/advisor he turned and walked away towards yet another door that lead to yet another hallway, without sense of direction, he simply walked aimlessly towards the end door, which was decidedly plain and had signs of frequent use.
Before it however, there was a mirror and he turned to it and jumped in horror, wearing a bright red high collared overcoat, embroidered with hearts with gold trousers and pinkish spats, a similar pinkish jabot with a heart pin and a regal crown albeit not as flamboyant as the blonde's and wearing a similar makeup; red lips and rouged cheekbones, however decidedly, fortunately, a little more masculine.
After growing bored of his strange appearance he turned to the door and swung it open to find himself in a kitchen with Hermione, Ginny and Pansy Parkinson of all people, sat upon some high up stools by the marble island.
Automatically he began to smile and lifted his hand to wave but stopped as they all scowled at him and pointed decidedly at the bin with a tray of beautifully decorated fruit tarts, topped with strawberries, red currants, raspberries and cherries and latticed with chocolate, the type you would get in a top quality patisserie, that was half in, half out of the waste disposal, suggesting the person responsible for their discard, hadn't cared enough to get rid of them properly.
"You sure do know how to royally fuck up your highness." Pansy spat in a snide tone, giving him a look of disgust whilst Hermione looked at him as if he'd committed some inhuman atrocity.
"It took him all of this morning to make them and you couldn't give a rats ass, don't expect any cooking from me for a long while." Hermione glowered before turning away from him, leaving him completely shunned.
Except for Ginny, who got up and practically sauntered over to him with a rather smug expression on her face, "Don't worry your majesty, If the queen won't sleep in bed with you anymore, I'll keep it warm for you." She finished with a wink and at first, all was fine and then things began to register and he found himself mildly horrified. First that it was common place within this dream world to sleep in the same bed as the blonde, secondly that this Ginny was propositioning him in such a vulgar way and thirdly that his eyes had slipped to his hands and he'd found a ring identical to Draco's upon his wedding finger, so technically, in this dream space or whatever they were married and for Harry, who had never had a family anyway, felt only pure revulsion at the idea of adultery in any form, found himself pushing his so called 'real' on and off girlfriend away with enough force to make her stumble backward.
He glanced up at Hermione and the Parkinson girl and they both sort of smiled at him, something very disconcerting, that they were smiling at him for pushing a girl and that they were doing it whilst sat together.
"He's that way." Pansy drawled softly, pointed at a door leading to the outside that was open and he continued through to an outside patio area with a single rose bush in the centre with its roses… dripping it red paint.
Harry frowned to himself, if memory served him right when the Red Queen saw her roses painted red in Lewis Carroll's book, she went absolutely ballistic…and Draco had already had a fit over his tarts being eaten, true to that form.
"What the fuck are you doing?" An outraged scream occurred just on cue and Harry hurried through the hedges to where Draco was stood shouting at what looked like Crabbe and Goyle dressed almost hilariously in brown and red uniform tunics.
"We're sorry your highness, you asked for red roses…"
"Yes, I bloody well did and you planted the wrong fucking colour! But instead of telling me the truth, you thought you just kill every last bleeding one and ruin my rose garden! I should have you locked in the dungeons for this!" Draco was absolutely seething but at the same time completely right. They had painted every single last rose, except for one, and the petals were already withering and dropping off from the toxins and chemicals within the crimson pigment.
Harry strode over and shooed away the too scared looking men leaving himself and Draco standing alone in the rose garden with only the wind breaking the awkward silence.
"Is this another insignificant thing your majesty?" Draco spat out the words with a bitter harshness and Harry felt himself wince at the comment.
"I'm sorry." He responded weakly and he knew it, especially when Draco whirled around at him and smiled the most fake, plastered and ill meaning smile ever made, Harry truly wondered if he was capable of doing it physically without contempt or to cover up.
"It's okay, I forgive you." Harry simply stood and stared at him until the smile dropped completely and the true expression of hurt and dejection came into clear view. "I forgive you."
"Why did you want red roses?" He asked the question because he knew from experience dream life or real, he was perfectly incapable of apologizing and getting forgiven and if he actually engaged in some conversation he may become able to get an apology across.
"Because I prefer red roses to white." Draco stated angrily as if he should already know the answer and his silver eyes became piercing and cross, before he began to turn away and Harry caught his wrist firmly.
Reaching up to the last remaining flower that was undamaged, he plucked it off the stem leaving the bush now devoid of any intact blooms and noted how it seemed to strike a nerve in the blonde whose jaw clenched at his action.
"I personally think white roses suit you better," Harry mused turning to look directly at the blonde who's expression turned to one of shock and lost the look of anger from earlier, Harry puffed out a sigh, deciding that whatever he did in his dream world, wouldn't affect real life and embarrass himself and thus got down on his knees on the thankfully dry grass in front of Draco and pressed the flower his hands, "Red flowers are far to garish and Gryffindor."
The blonde fiddled with the rose in his fingers a little, twirling the stem so that the bloom rotated in his hands gently before he smiled softly and met Harry's eyes finally before moving closer and wrapping his arms around his shoulders, so that Harry's head ended up pressed into the soft, small expanse where his stomach lay. "And you know how much that I hate Gryffindor."
"It's a shame that you threw those tarts away, they looked really delicious." Harry mused moving his hands to the blonde's waist to tug him down to his height, finding the blonde compliant and slowly knelt along with him before moving to press his head into his neck; the blondes close proximity making him heady with the scent of roses and vanilla, the saline of his tears and homely scent of baked bread.
"I can make some more tomorrow if you like." Draco breathed into his neck before kissing his throat gently causing him to swallow hard and feel a soft chuckle at his reaction.
"Am I forgiven then?" He asked finally and felt the blonde tense in his arms before relaxing and removing himself and sitting up somewhat in his lap and lacing his fingers into his hair and tugging it downwards forcing his head back so that Draco could stare at him down his nose, his silver eyes dilating and darkening in a suggestive way as the world around them began to blur and warp and scarlet lips curled into a very pleased smirking smile.
Harry glanced to the side and noted they were now in a large regal looking bedroom and knelt upon a red and white, heart shaped double bed that was some form of four poster hybrid with lace drapes partially covering it.
Soft svelte fingers slid into his hair once more and seemed to massage his scalp making his whole body tingle before he felt a weight removed from his head and watched Draco careful place his crown on the stand made at the side table.
Next he felt the fingers return and loosen the buttons upon his jabot and collar, revealing his throat and then he watched as Draco removed several pins from his own hair and two long braids unraveled themselves as he removed his regal head adornment and began to work on the clips holding the first layer of his dress together.
Subconsciously Harry moved and began to undo the tight ties in blonde hair allowing its wavy expanse to enlarge without restraint and flow beautifully down to where the divots in Draco's back would be.
The first layer came off revealing the under layer that consisted of a large, hooped skirt, which was quickly discarded leaving Draco in a red corset tied with red ribbons, bloomers also tightened around the legs and waist with red ribbons, over the knee white stockings held up with garters made of lace and red ribbons and cute little red silk slippers fastened a little like ballet shoes with matching red ribbons going up his ankles.
Literally, he looked like some debauched coquettish gift for some incredible pervert to take immense pleasure in, little Harry definitely seemed to approve judging by how tight his stocking like trousers seemed to have become.
Draco turned around, pushing his hair to the side, revealing the lacing of the corset and automatically Harry leant over and began to loosen it by pulling one of the strings and allowing it to tail out of eyelets making the corset practically fall off the blonde's body, only held there by Draco's hands pressing the structured garment to his chest. It was almost a practiced action, but Harry was pretty sure he hadn't done it to anyone he'd been with.
Slowly, he wrapped his arms around the blondes frame and gently slid his hands underneath Draco's, feeling their fingers entwine perfectly and pressed his lips to the tender flesh of the blonde's neck before sucking where his jugular lay and causing a dulcet moan to emit loudly from perfect lips.
Draco released the corset, completely allowing it to drop to the floor with a small thump and Harry pulled him into himself and releasing both his hands and removing his lips from Draco's neck before sliding the blonde into him and lifting him to face and straddle him and his hips.
Instantly, nimble fingers began to gently unbutton the heart shaped holds of his shirt, revealing his chest languidly and Harry looked up at half lidded silver eyes which are trained on his exposed flesh. Subconsciously he tangled a hand into silvery blonde locks and pulled, Draco's eyes flicked upwards to him as the long hair he once had seemed to meld away and he was left with the familiar short, blonde strands, which at least weren't so perfectly styled and seemed to frame his porcelain face better.
Harry leant forward a little and closed his eyes as Draco's breath ghosted his lips and he prepared to kiss. However, he felt a splayed palm upon his now exposed flesh and felt himself being pushed down back onto the duvet and Draco's weight came off him.
Indignantly, Harry sat up abruptly, his mouth open to voice objection to the blonde leaving him when he was more than ready to perform in whatever way his dream decided, but it was something of a false alarm. Draco gently loosened the drapes and pulled them together, darkening the bed to a dark pink glow, making platinum blonde, turn champagne pink.
Gently, the blonde turned around with a sly smirk and shuffled over to him, almost predatorily, slinking a finger under his jaw and pressed it closed, before using his other hand to pinch off his glasses and then pressed their lips together without any restraint.
Pushed back down onto the pillows, Harry let out a satisfied sigh as his shirt was practically ripped open and soft lips and suckling trailed down the center of his chest, working down to his navel. He let out a breathy moan as the kittenish pink tongue dipped into the recess in his body and began to move in and out like a French kiss.
Subconsciously he felt his trousers become unbuckled and somehow pulled off him, revealing heart patterned boxer briefs of which the waistband kept on being teased by swift fingertips.
He opened emerald eyes to look down at the blonde as he felt his nether regions stir and swell, as Draco retracted his tongue and lifted from his saliva laved naval and took his bottom lip into his mouth drawing away excess moisture before it popped out again, even more swollen and reddened.
Draco drew backwards with a smirk, slowly dipping his right index finger into Harry's moist naval before trailing it out and downwards, catching his waistband and dragging it down languidly. Harry's cock twitched, filling out and rising upwards. Clicking his tongue and sending Harry a leering look, glancing down at his member which pulsed at the attention. Before releasing the elastication and allowing it to ping backwards, knocking into Harry's length and making him emit a hiss at how the stinging pain aroused him more rather than quelled him.
Practically snarling at how turned on he'd become, Harry pounced, pushing the blonde deep into the duvet and ripped his bloomers off, revealing a lack of underwear and the lack of hair, save for a heart shaped patch of platinum. Harry's eyes bulged at the strangely exciting surprise before he grasped milky thighs and pulled up and spread them, making Draco's long member fill to capacity and grow to lie up against his taut stomach.
"H...Harry, baby, I want it." Draco whispered his plea as the raven haired male moved to suck at his hardened nipples and slid a digit into him. "I really do." Harry complied with a smirk and slid another finger inside, earning incoherent mewls of protest causing him to frown and stop, mid finger curl. "No~" Draco hissed out between gritted teeth and gave Harry a bleary look, "~I don't need it, I'm ready."
Humoring him, he retracted his fingers slowly and slid them out, siding himself upwards, flush between stocking-clad legs and used the lace adorned garters to hitch them up a little, moving hips upwards and then sliding a plush pillow underneath the blondes lower back.
"Are you ready?" He asked tentatively and received a sort of chuckling hum and silver eyes rolled in their sockets before fixing back on him with absolution and lean yet deceptively strong legs pulled him tighter in almost silent request.
Lining the leaking head of his erection to the blonde's entrance, Harry thrust forward and sheathed himself completely into the tight, molten heat and felt Draco tighten in brief pulses as he flexed his muscles around him, tersely massaging his swollen member till he could no longer endure the friction.
Withdrawing till he almost exited the blonde and jerking back, balls deep and to the hilt within a half second, Draco threw his head back and released a gut wrenching wail his eyes rolling into the back of his head and hands fisted the red duvet and continuous streams of 'Ohs!' and 'Ahs!' as Harry gripped perfect hips and began to thrust at a bruising pace that began to bang the bed against the wall with a series of loud thumps.
He hit the blonde's prostate eventually as Draco's eyes snapped open to their maximum, silver pupils quivering in place as the screamed silently and his arms wrapped around him and long nails began to scratch at his back and dig into it for purchase.
His thrusts became more erratic and less controlled as he felt that unmistakable tightening in his lower stomach, his cock burning with need of release and his balls shrinking and tightening, raising up closer to his body. Feeling his impending release, Harry crushed his lips against Draco's open pair, taking his mouth with his tongue as he arched his back and filled the blonde with his essence and felt said males milky fluid spilt between them on his stomach and chest.
Retracting himself completely from the sated blonde, Harry rolled to the side and languidly opened and closed his eyes in the pinkish light mulling over the just occurring events.
Piercing brightness stung his vision and Harry felt his eyes water in what appeared to be actual morning light, streaking from the disheveled royal blue curtains of someone's bed that decidedly was not his.
Sending a lax hand to the side table he practically cheered as he felt both his wand and his glasses and was quick to wear his most important vision device and used his wand to promptly cast a cleaning charm over himself due to the typical stickiness that was questionably his own.
Sending a splayed palm through his very disheveled hair he tried to remember the events of last night and struggled increasingly to decipher what was real and what was part of his rather erotic, yet hallucinogenic dream.
A soft exhale sounded next to him and he slowly turned, sitting up under the covers noticing a certain blonde wrapped in the overcoat of last night's costume with smudged red lipstick and one hand underneath his head and another laid on the mattress, holding the remains of what appeared to be a white rose, it's stem cut to remove any possible thorns that may cut him.
Silvery eyes fluttered whilst shut and Harry closed his eyes, till he only had the slightest amount of vision and they appeared closed to the blonde, who gently opened his eyes in a slow fashion and finally eyed him, his soft expression turning tight.
A soft hand trailed down and slid between alabaster legs, Draco making an indescribable expression before withdrawing his hand now coated in a sticky, viscose substance. Using his clean hand he rifled through the pillows and found his wand, spelling away the stuff and cleaning himself before returning it to its original place, hidden under his pillow and grey eyes seemed to slide closed and he rolled over, returned to a sleeping position.
Harry opened his eyes fully and pulled his glasses off placing them back on the side table where a blonde wig was precariously hanging off and turned back to the 'sleeping' blonde. Lazily, Harry stretched an arm out to the sky and gently, lowered it to curl around Draco's waist. Noticing that whether or not his action had been noted, there was no response, he pulled their bodies flush together and nestled his nose gently in the mussed blonde tresses, inhaling the blonde's pleasant scent and slowly drifting off.
Out of the corner of his poor and increasingly addled vision, Harry noted the small upwards quirk of still stained lips, moving to form, the most demure of smiles.
! I still have no inspiration to continue my most neglected of stories T^T