Broken Pieces

by Zuska A

Saraphina is a regular working mom, trudging through life. She has a family history of Mental Illness and she fears she is going crazy when she sees things no one else can. Trying to hide her worst fears she agrees to have regression therapy done and finds her visions are something much more.

Broken Pieces

Chapter 1

Toledo, OH – Present Day

The sun poured in from the window and warmed my chilled flesh. The air in the room was still cool from the night and I relished in the warmth that crept across my skin. I laid quietly for a few moments, my eyes closed as I listened to my breathing and the sounds of the morning that comforted me. I could hear the birds outside my window and the steady flow of cars driving past. In the distance I could hear the laughter and screams of my children. A rumble suddenly shook my quiet sanctuary as my two daughters ran into my room.

"Mommy, mommy, get up. We are hungry. Can you make pancakes?"

I opened my eyes to see my youngest daughter had climbed on the bed and was pulling my arm. Her long, fine red hair was a tangled mess, with half a braid still left in it from the day before. "Get up mommy, get up!"

I glanced over to my twelve-year-old daughter standing in the doorway to my bedroom. Her tall, thin frame was leaning against the doorjamb.

"I kept her occupied as long as I could. She wouldn't let me make her eggs, otherwise you could have slept longer." Her dark brown shoulder length hair was tucked behind her ears and I saw a hint of a smile as she turned and walked away.

"Alright, alright, I'm up. Let me use the bathroom and I'll be down in a minute." My daughter squealed with delight as she ran from the room and back downstairs. I pulled the covers back and goosebumps crept across my skin as I crawled from my warm blankets. I sat on the side of my bed and looked at the clock that read 9:18 am. I stood and stretched, grabbed a pair of sweat pants I had tossed on the floor the night before and pulled them on. The room was chilly and I welcomed the warmth from my pants. I looked back at my bed to see my husband still form. His even non-labored breathing told me he was in a deep sleep and the disturbance from our children did nothing to pull him from his slumbers.

I walked through the hallway to the bathroom carefully stepping over toys, shoes and a half-eaten dog bone. I made a mental note to pick the stuff up after breakfast. It still surprised me how quickly the house got messy from just two children. I made it downstairs and into the kitchen and noticed my eldest daughter Catoreena was putting away the dishes and Lilly was pulling the eggs from the fridge.

"Mommy can I help make pancakes?"

I smiled as I pushed a few stray long, red hairs away from her eyes. A light dusting of brown freckles covered her nose and cheeks and I bent down to kiss her nose. She giggled and I could see the large gummy space in her mouth where her front tooth had been the day before.

"I'll let you help me if you go wash your hands and put on an apron."

"Yeah!" She jumped around our small kitchen and then into the bathroom. I walked over to the plate on the counters that I keep items I used at work. I shuffled through the pens, scissors, folded pieces of paper, pen light and my I.D. badge.

"Cat have you seen any of my hair ties? I could have sworn I had one here the other day." I turned when I heard an odd squeak and the clattering of the dishes stopped.

"Sorry mom."

I looked and saw her dark hair pulled up in a high pony-tail. The missing hair tie wrapped around her thick hair.

"I really need something to keep my hair back Cat. Can you run upstairs and grab me another one?" I paused when she sighed loudly and the bowls she was stacking clacked together in protest at her roughness.

"Hey, you took my hair tie, I need something to pull my hair back with. Either give it back or get me another one."

She eyed me in frustration, her eyebrows pinched together in thought, a similar action I did when thinking. She reached up and pulled the tie from her hair and tossed it to me.

"I'll leave my hair down, it's not like it looked any better up." She continued to stack the dishes together roughly. I flinched when two glasses toppled over. I walked the few steps to my daughter and wrapped my arms around her. I knew she was very self-conscience of how she looked lately. She had recently started at a new Junior High school and trying to fit into a new group at this age was difficult. Her head nestled under my chin and the tighter I squeezed the more she relaxed. She was warm and smelt of bug spray and smoke from the fire we had the night before.

"I love you." My voice was quiet and I whispered in her hair.

Her breath came out hot against my chest. "I know." She paused for a moment and spoke again. "I love you too."

I pulled away and placed a kiss on her forehead. "You will need a shower, your hair reeks of smoke."

"I'll run upstairs and take a quick shower while you are making breakfast." She pulled from my embrace, closed the dishwasher door and walked out of the kitchen. I used the hair tie and pulled my long dark brown hair up into a messy bun. Lilly walked out of the bathroom ready to help cook.

After about 20 minutes there were pancakes cooking on the griddle and Catoreena came back into the kitchen with wet hair. She was wearing jean shorts and a dark green tank top. She pushed the power button on the radio and began pulling plates out and setting the table. "Mom, do we have any syrup? I don't see it."

"Yeah I just bought some. It's in the cupboard with the cereal." I turned to the griddle to help Lilly use the spatula to flip the pancakes.

"Mommy I can do this by myself." She pulled the spatula from my hands and flipped two pancakes. "Look mommy, see what I did?"

I smiled and patted her head. "Good job sweetie. Let me grab the butter before you flip anymore." I turned to the fridge and pulled out the butter. I set it on the counter and quickly reached for Lilly. "Hold on Lilly, that one isn't ready to flip yet." I tried to grab the spatula, but wasn't quick enough and the still raw pancake broke in half landing on the counter.

"Sorry mommy, it was an accident!"

I sighed and pulled the spatula from her hand. The look of fear etched across her sweet face.

"I just told you to be careful. You need to listen to me Lilly if you want to help me." I watched her face and a small hesitant smile crossed it. A pang of guilt rested in my gut. I hated that she flinched when she spilled something or knocked something over. My husband's quick temper flared up whenever the kids made a mistake. It was something that ate at my insides, but I did nothing to remedy.

Lilly nodded her head, her full pink lips turned down in a frown. Her bottom lip trembled. "You are a big help, just be careful next time, okay." I pulled her close and bent down to kiss her forehead. "Go help your sister, she will need you now."

Lilly smiled at me, showing her toothless grin again. "Okay mommy."

I returned my attention to the pancakes and I finished cooking our breakfast and set the food on the table. "Catoreena can you go ask your dad if he wants breakfast." I grabbed cups and filled them with orange juice and just sat down as my husband joined us at the table. We ate quickly, eager to fill our bellies with the warm sweetness of the buttermilk pancakes. As I forked another piece of pancake into my mouth I looked around the table at my children. Memories of my childhood floated to the surface of holidays when my dad would make homemade pancakes. I could still hear him in the kitchen sifting the flour, sugar and baking soda together. The swish, swish of the sifter sounded as clear in my recollection as if he was right here with me. I smiled as I remembered the sound his feet would make as he shuffled in his worn slippers. My mother would be cooking bacon and singing along with the radio. It was always a treasured time, of when my family was together. Laughter and happiness was thick in the air and I smiled at the memory.

"You okay Saraphina?"

I turned my gaze from my children to my husband. "Yeah, just remembering something." He reached over and laid a warm hand on my arm. His thumb rubbing back and forth before he gave it a soft squeeze.

"I'm okay, really. You want some more pancakes?"

He pulled his hand away and put his fork on his empty plate.

"No I'm good. Thanks though, I'm gonna jump in the shower."

The girls finished eating and quickly dispersed as I stayed at the table to finish eating. The house became quiet as the kids ran outside to play and my husband went back upstairs. I cleaned up the dishes from breakfast, ran the dishwasher and walked into the living room to pick up the book I had been reading earlier.

I sat for about 20 minutes rereading the same page. I had been forcing myself to read this book. It was a classic, by all means it should be able to keep my attention for more than a few minutes. I sighed and put the book down against my chest. My thoughts returned to my father and I closed my eyes to bring a picture of his face from my memory. His laughter and witty jokes were what I missed the most. It had only been a little over a year since he had passed, yet the raw pain of his absence felt as fresh as the day he died. I was 30 years old and no longer had parents. I had an emptiness in my chest that my dad had once filled. He had been a part of my daily life and his absence was a pain I felt constantly.

Everything I did in my daily life could be connected back to my dad. Charlie had been supportive and caring during the few days leading up to my dad's death. He continued to be watchful of me. Charlie made sure I slept and ate and continued to live and be a mother to our kids. Giving them support and comfort for their loss in turn made my pain a bit more bearable. I, however, was not as grateful as I should have been. I wanted to crawl in bed under heavy covers and cry. I didn't want to eat, play with my children or show people I could be strong. Charlie was the only family I had left now. We had grown up living a few doors down from each other, and dated since High School. I never had been with anyone but Charlie, and at times I wondered if that had been a mistake. I married the first guy I ever dated and I wondered if I should have done things differently. Then I remember how Charlie was there when my mom died. He knew about her history and supported me through the difficult pain of losing her at 15.

When my dad passed however, Charlie forced me to move on. I felt rushed in my grieving and because of that, my pain and sadness of losing my dad continued to plague me after all this time.

I remember telling Catoreena that I would not be able to comfort her as a mother should, because I felt like I was just a little girl, and all I wanted was my daddy back. I wasn't sure if she understood or was bitter towards me. I was being selfish with my pain and I knew it. I was hoping my husband could give them the comfort they needed, but knowing he had never lost a loved one I wasn't sure how helpful he could be. I remember Catoreena coming into my bedroom the night before my dad's funeral. I was working on his eulogy and she just stood at the foot of my bed. Her dark eyes looked so big and sad. Her eyes were red and her face blotchy from crying. Her nose was red and she spoke with a strained voice. "Why did Grandpa have to die?"

I had dropped my pen and opened my arms to her. She had crawled into bed next to me and we laid in each other's arms crying. I'm not sure how long we lay there, but when I opened my eyes I could see my husband in the doorway. His face was like stone, unreadable. He lowered his eyes and turned to leave, closing the door behind him.

I had asked him later what he was thinking and he just shook his head. I had a feeling he was thinking I was blocking him out. He had told me before that he knew when I got quiet and wanted to be alone I was acting like my mother. I wasn't though, I just did things differently, it was how I had learned to deal with my grief. I couldn't change how I dealt with my emotions, but, promised to be more open to him about what I was feeling.

"You sleeping?"

I squeaked at the sound of my husband's voice and opened my eyes. He was standing next to me and I turned my head to look up at him. "No, just debating if I should keep reading this book or not. It's quite boring."

"Whatcha reading, another 50 ways of Grey?"

I laughed. "No, the book is called Fifty Shades of Grey and I'm not reading that. I'm reading To Kill a Mockingbird."

"Eww, I had to read that in high school, well I actually only read the Cliff Notes. Nothing worth remembering though. Why are you reading that?" He walked across the room and sat in the recliner across from me.

"I needed something to read and so many people said this was a good book. I'm just hoping the story picks up soon or I'm gonna stop reading it."

I tossed the book onto the couch and pulled the hair tie from my hair. "What's up, you have that look on your face."

He shook his head. "No, I'm good. Just wondering what you're not telling me."

"About what?"

"You were real quiet at breakfast. You said you were thinking about your dad, but I feel there is more than what you are telling me. You promised not to shut me out. Communication is key to a healthy marriage."

I could feel the tears forming in my eyes and my nose began to tingle. I took a deep breath and rubbed my nose with the back of my hand. "I was just thinking about how much I miss my Dad." My voice broke and I took a deep breath and swallowed.

"Still?"

I glared at him. Still? He sounded bitter, annoyed even. I closed my eyes and opened them again, pulling at my fingers. "Just making the pancakes, it made me think about him and when I still had a family."

"You have a family Saraphina. Me and the kids are your family. Geez, you gonna be like this all day, or can you get out of this funk and we can do something today?"

"I'm fine." I snapped. I glared at him and saw nothing on his face. It was a mask of emotionless stone. I stood and walked upstairs. I threw on an old college t-shirt and a pair of shorts. I had to mentally prepare myself for whatever he had planned for us to do today. I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth when Charlie came into the bathroom. He spoke as if we had never had a disagreement.

"How about we go to Put-in-Bay for the day. There is a lot of stuff we can do and the kids would be outside all day."

I nodded my head in agreement and went about preparing for our trip. Charlie checked into hotel availability and cost, while I packed everyone's clothes. I zipped up the suitcase and went downstairs.

"You ready to go?" Charlie was sitting on the couch in his boxers, playing a game on his phone.

I sighed. "Yeah I have everything packed and ready. You don't look ready though."

"Just need to throw on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt." He got up and ran upstairs.

"Alright you guys. Use the bathroom and get into the car."

"Mommy, I don't need to go." Lilly was standing in the doorway. Her big blue eyes were staring at me. I sighed, this was the same argument we had every time we left the house.

"You need to try, or you don't go."

Tears began to roll down her face and she ran toward the bathroom, moaning about not having to go to the bathroom.

I loaded up the car, grabbed a few snacks for the kids and made sure I had the address to our hotel. Catoreena had helped Lilly get into her car seat and buckled her up. We all sat in the car for about 15 minutes before Charlie came out. He closed the door and got into the car. "Do we know where we are going?"

"Yeah I put it into the GPS." I pointed at the screen and leaned over to start a movie for the kids. We pulled out of the driveway and once we got onto the expressway I opened my new book that my best friend Lenora had gotten me for my birthday.

"You gonna read the whole time? Can't talk to your husband?"

Here we go again. "You always listen to the radio on trips, why can't I read?"

"I just thought we could have a nice conversation on the car ride. But if you would rather read your book, then talk to your husband, than go ahead and read." His voice was laced with bitterness. I did not want to fight.

"Fine, what did you want to talk about?" I put my book down and looked at Charlie.

"You want to tell me what is going on? Lately you have been quiet and when I ask what is wrong you tell me that you are fine. There is no crime talking to your husband ya know."

I sighed and closed my eyes. Not this again. "Every time I do tell you what is wrong you give me a hard time about it."

"You telling me that this funk you have been in is because of your dad? Still?"

"Still? Yes, Charlie still! It hits me at different times. Sometimes I'm okay and sometimes I am not. I don't expect you to understand, you have never lost anyone before." I turned away from him and stared out the window. I watched the scenery zoom past and I stared off into the distance, wanting so bad to be somewhere alone and far away.

"I didn't know." His voice was quiet and soft. "You're right, I've never lost a parent so I don't know what you are going through, but I have lost someone too. I liked your dad, I miss him just as much, you know. But why is it so different from the last time. You weren't like this when your mom died."

"I was 15 years old when my mom died. My life was different, I was still a kid myself, not a mom and wife. If I wanted to crawl into bed and sleep all day I could do that." I paused pinching the bridge of my nose. "My mom died under different circumstances than my dad. Our relationship was strained at best, so losing her didn't affect me like losing my mom. I just feel like I haven't gotten a chance to fully mourn him."

"Then tell me that! I'll take the kids and get them out of your hair for the day. You just need to talk to me Saraphina."

I turned back to him and smiled. "Thank you, but I'm okay. It just hits me at odd times and its nothing I can plan."

"Well next time it hits, just let me know, okay."

He reached over and placed his warm hand on my thigh. I smiled and placed my hand on his. I ran my fingers across the back of his hand and looked out the window again.

"Go ahead and read your book. I'll put a game on."

I picked up my book and looked back at the kids. They both had headphones on, watching the small T.V. screen. Thankfully they didn't hear us fight. I kicked my shoes off and got comfortable. I opened my book and started to read. The sound of the car radio drifted away as I became absorbed in my book.

Time slipped by quickly as I became lost in the story. I was about half way through it when Charlie turned down the radio.

"We're here. Can you grab my wallet so I can pay for parking?"

I handed him his wallet and under an hour later we had parked our car, crossed the lake and checked into our hotel. I walked to the window in our hotel room and peered out. The scenery below triggered a memory of the last time I had visited the island. I had come with my dad and my best friend from high school to visit the historical library for research my dad was doing. The familiar pain sat in my chest and I went to sit on the bed.

"It's really warm out and the pool is still open. The kids want to go swimming, you going too?" Charlie was putting the bag on the bed so the kids could get their swimsuits.

"No I would rather just walk around for a bit. I need to be alone if you don't mind."

Charlie sighed. "Already? You need to run off now?"

"I'm not running off. You just said if I needed time away just let you know. Now suddenly I'm running off? What the hell Charlie, make up your mind!" I glared at him, and a coldness crept down my spine when I caught his hands clenching into a fist. The silence seemed deafening, and I took a hesitant step back.

Charlie reached over and grabbed the kid's towels. "Look I understand you are hurting, but you have a family too. The kids need you, and I need you." He paused a moment and walked toward the door after the kids. "Do what you want. I'll be with the kids, enjoying quality time."

The door was slammed shut behind him and I took a deep breath, I needed to be more careful. What had I been thinking speaking that way in front of the kids? I grabbed my jacket and room key and walked out the door. I headed around the front of the hotel where I had seen a path when we drove up. I saw a sign that showed different paths and lengths. The brown path was just over a mile long, I could be back in twenty to thirty minutes. The pathway was loose gravel that wound its way through a cluster of trees that I walked for about 10 minutes before it opened to a clearing. I walked through the glade and stopped at the bench that was sitting there. I looked out across the valley and smiled at the peaceful view. I inhaled deeply and recognized the scent of wet spruce and dirt. There was a faint smell of a plant that was familiar to me but, I could not place. The peaceful quiet surrounded me and I smiled when a calm came over me. I felt my stress melt away and I closed my eyes trying to absorb the serene surroundings. I felt relaxed and wished I had a place like this at home I could escape to. This is where I belonged. I felt it deep inside, that somehow I was meant to live a simpler life. I opened my eyes when I heard a faint giggling and when I turned I saw a young couple walk out into the clearing. I smiled at their surprised faces and stood up. I lowered my head and quickly walked back to the path that would lead me to the hotel. The rest of my walk was uneventful and I quickly found myself in the courtyard where the kids were playing in the pool. I walked through the open gate and saw the kids playing in the pool and Charlie was sitting in a lounge chair staring at his cell phone. I smiled when I heard the kids shout as I approached. "Hi mommy, hi mommy. Come swimming." I sat down in the chair next to my husband. "No, I'm good. You guys have fun."

"How was your walk?" His eyes stayed focused on his phone and I looked over to the kids. They were laughing as they jumped into the pool from the side.

"Mommy watch me, Mommy are you watching?" Lilly is on the diving board, her face beaming and she shivered in the cool air as she eagerly waited for me to tell her that I was watching.

"I see you baby, go ahead and jump." She jumps twice and then lunges into the air, tucking her knees to her chest. She belts out "Cannon ball" and lands in the water creating an impressive splash for someone so small.

"That was impressive Lilly. Good job!" I'm laughing and clapping as she climbs out of the pool and runs toward me. "Walk!" I shout, fear gripping me with images of her falling. She stands between mine and Charlie's chair.

"Did you see me daddy?" Lilly is shivering and she wraps her arms around herself. Water drips down from her matted wet hair to her arms and falls on Charlie's leg.

"Get the hell away. You are getting water all over me."

Lilly jumps back, fear etches across her face. "Sorry Daddy. But did you see me. I jumped real high off the diving board."

"Yeah real nice, go play with your sister." He never raised his eyes from his phone.

I look at Lilly and her face falls and she pulls her bottom lip in and bites on it. "Lilly I saw you jump and it was awesome, high five sweetie." Her face quickly changes from sad to smiling.

"Thanks mommy, you want me to do it again?"

"Sure, I'll get my phone and record it." I stand up and walk across the hot concrete patio. "Where did you put the bag?"

"Over there by the table."

I look to where he nodded and rummage through the bag. I find my cell phone and bring the bag with me to where we are sitting. "Why did you leave the bag over there, when you are sitting over here?"

"Jesus, we just got here, Catoreena had the bag and dropped it where they undressed. You got anything else to complain about?"

My frustration was building with Charlie. Why was he so upset with me? "I'm not complaining, I just asked a simple question." I kept my tone even and fought to not raise my voice.

"It's all you ever do. Can we have one trip without you complaining about something?" He sat up, grabbed his shoes and walked away. I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. I fought the tears that were perched at the rim of my eyes.

"Where did daddy go?" Catoreena was hanging onto the side of the pool. Her arms resting on the warm concrete patio with her chin resting on her arms.

"I guess he went back to the room. Probably to watch T.V. God forbid he go an afternoon without electronics." I saw my daughter lower her eyes and a pain gripped me in my chest. It bothered me that she saw us fight. I hated that she was old enough to understand more than I wanted her to. "I'm sorry Cat, I shouldn't have said that. Maybe your dad just went to the bathroom."

Her face changed and she turned away and then screamed at her sister, "Let's play Marco Polo." I smiled at their enjoyment and laughter. I got myself comfortable and got my book and sunglasses out of the bag. I took a deep breath and smiled as I heard my children play in the pool. Their laughter was warming and it filled me up with a content feeling of pure joy. I turned when I heard the pool gate close and Charlie walked in with a plate and a Styrofoam cup. I could smell the pizza and my stomach rumbled. "Where did you get that? It smells yummy."

"Food truck in the parking lot. Saw it when I went to the car to get my cigarettes."

"Is it still out there?"

"It was when I left."

I looked at him as he folded his piece in half, took a bite out of his pizza and looked over at his cell phone.

"Pizza!" I heard Cat's voice and suddenly the kids climbed out of the pool and were surrounding Charlie. "Daddy can we have a bite, please, please?"

I could see the frustration on Charlie's face. "Get the fuck away from me, you mooches. This is my lunch." His hand flew out and landed on Lilly's hand with a loud crack. She quickly pulled her hand back and tears filled her bright blue eyes. I quickly stood and gathered her into my arms. Her tears soaking the shoulder of my shirt. "You didn't need to hit her Charlie."

"Well she needs to learn not to touch things that don't belong to her."

"They are hungry. Why would you come out here eating that when you know none of us have eaten yet?"

"She needs to learn her place, and not touch things that aren't hers." He paused, taking a sip from his cup. "And their mother needs to watch what comes out of her mouth or it might end up being wired shut again."

I pulled Lilly away and looked at her hand. I saw the red mark of Charlie's finger's on the back of it. She had raised it to her face and was gently kissing it.

My stomach was in knots and I turned away from my husband. Anger and frustration boiled up and hot bile burned the back of my throat. I hated the way he treated the kids, and what I hated more, was that I had nothing to say to him. I grabbed my purse and bent over to tell Lilly she could play in the pool while I got us pizza. "Cat I will be right back. I'm gonna get us some lunch." I quickly walked through the hotel and when I got out front I found the food truck. I bought three pieces of pizza and two drinks. When I returned I saw Lilly and Catoreena sitting at a table wrapped in their towels. "Where is your dad?"

"He went back to the room." I nodded at Catoreena and we sat and ate the pizza in silence. Once we were done I picked up the trash and let the kids go back in the pool. They played for a few more hours while I read. I looked up when a chill crept across my skin. The sun had dipped behind the roof of the hotel and I looked at my watch. "Okay girls it's time to get out. We need to shower and get ready for dinner. They slowly pulled themselves from the pool and wrapped themselves in their towels and we walked to the hotel room.

Charlie was sleeping and the t.v was on ESPN. I nudged him awake and we decided where we were going to dinner while the girls showered and got dressed. I was cool in responses to Charlie. I was still upset at how he acted toward the kids earlier. He of course was talking and playful like nothing had happened. I talked with the kids during dinner and by the time we got back to our hotel room we were ready for bed. I helped the girls get ready and we were soon in bed. Charlie put a baseball game on and I rolled over in the bed. My back facing him I drifted off to sleep.

I awoke when I heard Lilly and Catoreena giggle. I pushed Charlie's outstretched arm off of me and walked to the bathroom. "Mom, can we get our swimsuits on and go swimming?"

"Cat it's 9:30 in the morning. We need to eat first, then see what daddy has planned for today, okay?" I watched her face fall and she nodded her head as she walked away. I sigh and dig in the duffel bag to pull out my clean clothes for the day.

"What time is check out?" I look up to see Charlie sitting on the end of the bed looking at his phone.

"I think its 11am." I walk over to the window and pull the drapes open. "Awe damn, it's raining." The kids groaned and Lilly started to cry. "Guess our day is shot."

"Well I guess we better pack up and head back home. Not much we can do now." I agree with Charlie and I started to pack up the dirty clothes and swimsuits into our bag. After about twenty minutes we are packed, checked out and walking to the dock to catch the 10:15 ferry. The kids are quiet and Charlie doesn't say much until we reach our car. "I was talking to my dad last night. He and my brothers are going on a golf trip next weekend. I'll be leaving Thursday night after work and I will be home late Sunday night."

I look at him as I get into the car. "What about the kids? Charlie you knew that I was going away that weekend with Lenora and her mom."

"I talked to my mom. She said they can stay with her."

He starts the car and I put a movie on for the kids. "So they are gonna miss school on Friday?"

"It's only one day. My mom said she will be by about four on Thursday to pick them up. They will need to be packed up and ready to go by then."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "I have Wednesday off from work, so I should be able to have their stuff ready for your mom."

Charlie nodded his head and put a baseball game on. I picked up my book and buried my nose in it, grateful for the blissful retreat it offered me.

Our drive home was a quiet one. Charlie listened to the radio and the kids watched a movie. I sat absorbed into my book and looked up when we pulled into our driveway. I was exhausted before I even walked into our house. My mind was filled with thoughts of all I had to do this week prior to my trip. The kids went inside the house and I grabbed the suitcase and walked into the laundry room and started a load of wash. I then unloaded the dishwasher and loaded it up again and started it. I went into the front hallway and picked up our mail and began sorting through it, by the time I finished the kids were complaining that they were hungry for dinner. The rest of the evening went by in a hustle of cleaning, folding laundry and getting the kids organized for the upcoming school week. By 9:30 pm the kids were in bed and I was showered and climbing into bed. I leaned over to turn my light off when I noticed Charlie standing in the doorway.

"You going to bed?"

"Yeah, it's been a long day and I work in the morning."

"So, what you are telling me is that you don't want to spend any time with your husband?" I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I was not in the mood to play nice with him. I had too much on my mind and trying to attend to his ego was not what I wanted to do. "Sorry, I've got a migraine and just want to go to bed."

He lowered his head and walked away. I turned off my light and welcomed the quite darkness as I drifted off to sleep.

The alarm went off and it jolted me awake at 5:15am. I leaned over and reset the clock for Charlie and crawled out of bed. I moved through the house and enjoyed the peace and quiet of being up this early. I pulled on my dark blue scrubs and pulled my long dark brown hair back in a ponytail. Thirty minutes later I was out the door and driving to work. I listened to the radio as I drove on the still empty streets. My drive to work was a time I enjoyed. The calmness of all things before the business of my day erupted.

I pulled into the parking garage at St. Michaels Lutheran Hospital and walked to the elevators of the parking garage. I stood by a group of people, some wearing dark blue scrubs like me, some in business casual. I rode the elevator down and got out on the ground floor and walked through the long hallway toward the emergency department. I swiped my badge and went through the double doors, past the nursing station and into the breakroom where I hung up my jacket, locked up my purse and clocked in.

"Hey Saraphina, how was your weekend?"

I turned to see my friend Abigail walking through the door. Her dark blond hair was pulled back into a high ponytail and it swung as she walked. Her entire face lit up when she smiled and her large brown eyes were still showing evidence from her previous night out. I watched as she pulled off her bright green jacket with black letters on the back that spelled out PINK. She struggled to reach the coat hook with her 5' 2" frame. "Hey Abigail, I didn't know you were working today. You on East or South wing today?"

"We are both on South. I talked with Tammy and told her I would only pick up if I was working with you."

I smiled and we hugged briefly and I told her about my fight with Charlie and how he had made plans to go golfing with his brothers and dad on my weekend away.

"Isn't this your girls weekend with Lenora and her mom?

"Yeah, had this planned like 3 months ago. Now instead of organizing my weekend, I will be getting the girls ready to stay with my mother-in-law."

"Why can't he do it? He is a big boy." Her smile made me chuckle.

"You should know better than that. Charlie doesn't do anything for anyone but himself. If I didn't do it, he would send them off with an empty suitcase."

We continued to chat, but as the morning progressed, we became too busy with the steady stream of newly arrived patients into the trauma department. The hospital was in the center of downtown, so we saw a lot of injuries where drugs and alcohol were involved. It was busy and eventful, which made for a quick shift. Before I realized I was hungry, Abigail tracked me down for lunch. We sat in the deli across the street from the hospital and ate. I picked at my salad and Abigail told me about her new boyfriend. She was a single mom and was usually very careful on who she got involved with. Her daughter was her main priority and it was unusual for her not to talk about her. The entire time she was gushing about this guy.

"He is so sexy, and my god he knows how to take care of a woman! I had just got home after Ansley's soccer practice and he was there in the house setting the table for dinner that he made! I mean who does that?"

I smiled, but inside I thought about Charlie. He had never done anything like that for me. Even when he knew I didn't have time or was too tired. The closest I got, was him ordering pizza and putting the paper plates on the table. I pushed the thought from my mind and took a bite of my salad.

"So when do you leave for your trip?" Abigail bit into her chicken wrap and she started at me with eager eyes.

"I am supposed to meet Lenora at her house Thursday morning. I have so much to do before then. I work tomorrow. Wednesday, Catoreena has a dentist appointment, both girls have basketball practice and I need to do laundry. Somewhere between now and then I need to pack for myself and the girls."

"Wow girl, I don't know how you do it. You carry so much on your shoulders and never ask anyone for help. Why is that?"

I looked down at my salad, my appetite slowly dwindling as my thoughts turned to my dad. "Well, my dad always told me that if I want something done right, I need to do it myself. Plus, I've been taking care of myself since I was 13 years old"

"I thought you said your mom died when you were 15?"

"She did, but was sick for about 2 years prior to that, so I did a lot of stuff around the house to help my dad. He was so overcome with grief he couldn't focus much on anything but day to day living."

"What about your sister? Couldn't she help out?"

"My sister was away at college and hard to reach. My dad didn't want to interrupt her life, but in turn it determined the direction of mine."

"I'm sorry you had to deal with that stuff at such a young age. It was Cancer, right?"

I kept my eyes downcast, hoping to avoid the question. I rarely discussed with people how my mom died. It was still difficult to explain the dynamics of my life at that time. When a parent has a mental condition that ultimately results in them taking their own life, it tends to result in awkward conversations and the relationship is never the same.

I shrugged my shoulder in response. "You learn to deal with the hand your dealt. It doesn't matter how they die, the loss of a parent when you are still young affects you in ways that can never be explained fully to anyone that has never experienced it."

Abigail must have sensed my change in mood and quickly diverted the questions back to Charlie.

"So, do you think your husband screws things up on purpose so you end up doing it yourself?"

I shrugged my shoulders and smiled despite how I felt.

"Why bless his heart, what a fuck-tard!" Abigail grew up in Tennessee and her thick southern accent made all her words sound like a sweet compliment rather than an insult. We laughed and finished eating, heading back across the street to work before our hour was up.

The rest of the day I focused on my patients. I comforted an elderly man as he had to make the decision to change his wife's code status. I entertained a 4 year- old boy as his eyebrow was being stitched and when it was just starting to quiet down and I thought I would be able to get my charting done we had a call come in that an apartment fire was bringing us ten causalities with smoke inhalation and burns.

I grabbed a new isolation gown and was tying the back as I walked into trauma room 4. "Good evening mam. My name is Saraphina and I will be the nurse helping you out today." I walked past the form huddled on the cot and toward the computer screen. I clicked on the screen, pulling up the woman's information. "Ms Tyler, can you give me your date of birth please?" I waited for a response, but the form laid still and quiet. I waited a moment, watching the steady rise and fall of the blankets. Good, she was breathing. "Mam, can you hear me?" I took a few steps toward her, then gently tapped her shoulder. No response, and I shook her harder. I pulled back the cover, to check her pulse and she stared at me wide-eyed, with cloudy, sightless white eyes and black smoke smudges around her nose and mouth. "Ms. Tyler, can you hear me?"

"He doesn't deserve you, he never has. Stop trying to prove yourself to him, it is time to walk away." Her voice was hoarse and raspy and she began to cough. I placed the oxygen mask over her face and checked her SpO2 level.

"Are you having any shortness of breath or pain right now?" The old woman grabbed my arm with surprising strength, pulling her mask away from her face. What was she doing? "Ms. Tyler, please, you need to keep your oxygen on."

Her sightless eyes stared at me and she clung to my arm painfully. "You can close your eyes to what you don't want to see, but you cannot close your heart to what you feel." I had no idea what she was talking about, but wondered if she was the same woman that came to the ER for occasional falls and dehydration. "Please, if you want me to help you, I need you to put your oxygen back on, you inhaled a lot of smoke from the fire." Her grasp lessened and she leaned back, allowing me to put the oxygen mask back in place. She took a few deep breaths and just when I was going to pull her hand away she tightened her grip again. "He is waiting for you, calling out to your soul to bring you home. He will make you forget your heart was ever broken." She finally released my arm and I stumbled back, rubbing the spot when she had grabbed a moment before. I glanced up at the clock and realized my shift had ended 15 minutes ago. I typed some info into the computer and told my patient she would be getting some blood drawn. I smiled softly to her and then walked out of the room, ripping the gown off and walking over to the nurse's station. I saw my replacement and quickly gave her report. My nerves were still on edge from what the old woman had said to me and I was eager to leave work. When I was finally done it was seven forty-five and I grabbed my jacket and purse and headed out. When I arrived home, I was able to see the kids for a few short moments before they headed off to bed. I tossed my scrubs in the laundry and jumped into the shower. When I was finished and crawled into bed, my mind was still reeling from my day at work. I tossed and turned for about 30 minutes, when I heard the door open. I turned and saw my husband's form standing in the doorway.

"Hey, are you still up?"

"Yeah, whatcha need?"

"I can't find my navy golf shorts. Have you seen them?"

"Last time I saw them, they were hanging up in the laundry room."

"Oh that's right, okay thanks. You work tomorrow?"

"Yeah, that's why I'm in bed." He walked into the room and leaned over and placed a soft kiss on my forehead.

"Good night sweetie."

I closed my eyes and inhaled the scent of him. He smelt like old spice body wash and I reached out to touch his face. "You coming to bed soon?"

"No, I've got more work to do before I turn in. Goodnight, I love you." He pulled away and closed the door quietly behind him. I laid back down and my body relaxed enough for me to drift off to sleep.

Chapter 2

The next few days went by in a busy blur. I refused to let myself get distracted on what I still needed to do before my trip and just focused on what I could get done in that day. When Thursday morning arrived, I was eager to start my vacation. I quietly crept in to check on my daughters. Lilly had kicked her covers off and was sleeping in a ball shivering. I pulled the blankets up and gently brushed her hair away from her face. Her features softened as she stopped shivering. "I love you sweetheart." I leaned over and placed a kiss on her head and her strawberry scented shampoo drifted up from her hair. I smiled as I walked out of her room. I walked into Catoreena's room and kissed her goodbye as well. I stopped in her doorway as I was getting ready to leave and I turned one last time to look at her sleeping form. My chest felt tight and tears threatened to fall. This would be the first time away from my children since they were born. I took a deep breath and pushed the feeling away. "I love you baby. I'll be home soon." I closed the door and headed downstairs to grab my suitcase. I loaded it into my car and was pulling out of the driveway and headed to Lenora's house by 6:15 a.m. The roads were quiet and I got to Lenora's quickly. When I pulled into her driveway she was loading her suitcase into her trunk. I turned off my car and walked up to my best friend. Lenora had dark, olive skin and long straight black hair that she had inherited from her father. Her features were strong, but her softness came from her bright green eyes that she had gotten from her mother. She turned and she smiled when she saw me.

"Hey Chica, you ready for this?"

I nodded my head. "Yeah, I think we both are."

"Well then, let's go pick-up my mom and hit the road."

I sat in the passenger seat until we arrived at Lenora's mom's house. We got out of the car and I walked up to Mrs. Sanchez and gave her a hug.

"Hi baby girl. It's good to see you. How have you been holding up?"

My throat became tight and I was unable to answer her. I nodded my head instead and gave her a partial smile. It didn't surprise me how difficult it still was to talk about my dad without choking up.

She smiled softly and her bright green eyes glowed with affection. Lenora and I had been best friends since the second grade and Mrs. Sanchez had been like a second mother to me while growing up. When my mother died, she had stepped in and became that lifeline I needed when in need of a mother's advice. I learned over and grabbed her suitcase. I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and I looked up the see Mrs. Sanchez staring at me with soft eyes. She gently pushed the hair away from my face and placed a kiss on my forehead. She smelt of Chanel perfume and laundry soap and I stood for a moment lost in the safe feeling that surrounded me. I cleared my throat. "I will put your suitcase in the car. Hey, Lenora can you grab my stuff from the front seat and toss it into the back?"

"Saraphina you can stay in the front. You don't need to move." Mrs. Sanchez was walking toward the back door when I replied.

"No, its okay. I'll read. You and Lenora can catch up."

Lenora's head popped up from the front seat. "Catch up on what? I see this woman every day!" Mrs. Sanchez swatted at her and mumbled something in Spanish as Lenora danced in front of her mother pretending to box with her.

"If you two are finished with your MMA match, I would like to get on the road and get this Vay Kay started!"

Lenora nodded her head "True dat, true dat."

We climbed into the car and over the next several hours we traveled West. I tuned out the conversation of my friend and her mother and engrossed myself into my book. We stopped a few times during our trip to get gas and eat lunch. About six, we decided to eat dinner and find out how much further we still had left on our journey. Mrs. Sanchez pulled her trip-tics out and went to speak with the woman that had taken our order.

I sat across from Lenora in the cold plastic booth shoving French Fries in my mouth. Her mom had just sat back down with us and was looking at the map. I leaned over it while wiping my hands on my napkin.

"According to the map we have about two more hours before we reach our cabin, or in about 45 minutes we can stop and check out some cool shops that the owner told me about. She said there are a lot of local artists, where we can get souvenirs and mentioned a craft shop."

"That sounds cool. Maybe one of the shops has some sage I can buy. I wasn't able to find any before we left."

"What do you need sage for?" Lenora looked up at me from her bowl of chicken noodle soup.

"When you pray for a lost loved one and perform a memorial like what I was planning, one should purify themselves with sage."

Lenora nodded her head. "That sounds interesting. Where did you hear about that? Did you read it somewhere?"

"I must have at some point. I did so much reading while helping my dad research. It must have stuck in my mind for some reason."

"Ah, random useless facts, hugh?" She smiled at me and went back to eating her soup. We sat in silence until we finished eating and we all got back into Lenora's car. I picked up my book again and was surprised to hear Mrs. Sanchez's voice so soon after getting into the car.

"Hey Saraphina, looks like we are here."

I looked up from my book and saw a small shopping center with three stores, a restaurant and a boat rental with bait for sale. We pulled into the small gravel parking lot and when we got out of the car, I looked at the small white clapboard building with a red neon sign in the shape of a hand. A sign hung below the hand that read. Palm Reading and Tarot Cards.

"Hey lets go check it out." Lenora was already walking toward the door before I got a chance to decide. I followed her through the wood framed screen door. A jingle of bells rang when we entered. The store was dimly lit and the air felt thick and heavy. There was a mixture of smells that I couldn't quite place. I looked around the small cluttered store and saw a few pictures hanging on the wall. I walked around the store looking at the artwork. They ranged from civil war era to 1930's. I turned my head when I heard Lenora call my name.

"Did you see this book? There are some old pictures of people next to more recent photos. There are letters with the pictures."

I leaned over her shoulder, curious to see the photos and letters in the book. "What do the letters say?"

"They are like thank you letters. They are from people thanking this lady for finding out who they were in their past life."

I read a few lines of a white woman with overly bleached blond hair that looked as round as she was tall. "Do you really believe this? That these people had a past life?"

Lenora continued to flip through the book. "It's not what we believe, it's what they believe. And looking at these letters she did a damn good job convincing them."

"Can I help you two ladies with something?"

I was startled from the woman's voice that came from behind me. I could see the startled shock on Lenora's face as we both turned toward the voice.

"I see you are interested in my past life regression therapy." The short woman came from the doorway behind the counter and approached us. She had long blond hair that was parted down the center and pulled back into a thick ponytail at the nape of her neck. She wore thin, wire-framed glasses that were resting and the end of her pudgy round nose. Her faded blue t-shirt and a flowy brown skirt did little to hide her voluptuous curves. Her black cowboy boots made a clicking sound as she walked across the worn wooden floor. She looked up at me with bright blue eyes and her head tilted to the left. Her smile was nice and welcoming and I smiled back at her, despite the chills I felt when she approached.

"We are just looking around, but thank you for the offer." I continued to smile as I blindly reached for Lenora's hand and squeezed it gently. She let go of the book and we backed toward the door. "We better catch up with my mom, or we will be late if we don't get back on the road."

I nodded, and we walked toward the door. I paused when I heard the woman speak behind us.

"Your father wants to say thank you for planting the flowers."

My feet felt like frozen blocks of ice and I stopped in my tracks. An icy chill ran from the nape of my neck and down my arms causing my hair to stand on end. An eerie silence filled the store and my heart thumped loudly in my ears. My eyes slowly focused on Lenora's face as she loomed in front of me.

"Saraphina, are you okay?"

My chest was tight and I struggled to swallow. How in God's name did she know about my dad? I slowly turned around and the woman was standing with her hands folded to her chest. The same smile etched on her face.

"You planted mums, oh how wonderful! What a thoughtful gesture."

"Hhaa, hhhh." I swallowed, trying to free my words from my dry and tight throat. "How did you. . ." I paused and closed my eyes. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I tried to focus my thoughts. "How did you know about the flowers I planted?"

"Well he told me of course. He is very proud of you." Her voice was pleasant and cheery. Her manner of speech reminded me of a flight attendant, it was high pitched, cheery and articulate. I opened my eyes and the woman was still staring at me. Lenora nudged me in my arm and I turned to look at her. She mouthed silently at me "What the fuck?" I shook my head. "I have no clue."

"Come sit, I will read your cards." She turned and walked toward the back of the store where she had come through earlier.

I grabbed Lenora's arm and spoke without taking my eyes from the woman at the back of the store. "Should I go?" I waited for a response and when she didn't reply I turned to Lenora. Her face was filled with anguish and pain.

"Well, you know my beliefs on psychic and tarot cards." She took a deep breath through her nose and cleared her throat. "However, if my dad came through, wanting to give me a message. . ."

I was numb. I was stuck as to what I should do. I missed my dad, so much at times it felt like I had just lost him. Charlie complained I shut him out when I dealt with my feelings. How could I explain it to him? Sometimes you can't tell anyone how you really feel. Not because you don't think they will understand, it's because you can't find the right words to descibe the heartache you feel.

"Do you want me to go with you?"

I turned to Lenora and looked at her bright green eyes. There was a familiarity in them. Not the connection of a long friendship, but a connection of a shared grief. Lenora had lost her dad 6 years ago and knew what I was going through. She grabbed my hand and squeezed and I knew she would support me through whatever emotions that would emerge from this. I took a deep breath, "Okay, let's go." I led the way to where the woman had walked earlier. My heart raced in my chest and I struggled to keep by breathing even, trying not to hyperventilate. The doorway was a few steps in front of me and I hesitated a moment before crossing the threshold into the back room. The room was warm and smelt of incense and sage. Crystals hung from black cords in the window. Light poured in from the afternoon sun reflecting through them casting broken lights around the room. The woman was standing at a chair by a square table covered with a purple cloth. She smiled and tilted her head toward the chair across from her. "Please sit. Your father is quite a talker."

I felt Lenora's warm hand in mine and she gave it a tight squeeze. I took a deep breath and pulled the chair out from the table. Lenora sat to my right, my hand still clenched in hers.

"Let's start with introductions. My name is Bridgett and I'm honored to be your empath today. My charge for readings is $40.00."

I paused and glanced at Lenora, shit I didn't think about how much this would cost. I paused a moment in hesitation, when she raised her hand to me.

"Keep your money. It is my honor to give you this message. Your father was a very educated man, and I enjoyed many of his books."

I side looked at Lenora and saw her shrug her shoulders. My father had been a historian and I had traveled with him on many of his researching trips. His books were the result of his avid passion of American History. I turned when I heard the bell above the door jingle and Bridgett excused herself.

"I will assist this customer and put the closed sign up. I don't wish for us to be interrupted again." She walked away and I listened as she spoke to a man. Lenora peeked out and told me what she saw. "There is a guy talking to her. She must know him, cuz he is holding onto her arm." She paused and quickly sat back into her seat. "He saw me looking. Damn gave me the chills, look." She held up her arm and showed that her arm hairs were standing on end.

Bridgett returned to the room and sat back across from me. "Sorry about that. A gentleman looking for directions." I turned to Lenora and she shrugged and I returned to watch Bridgett as she closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. She opened her eyes and began shuffling a deck of plain blue, well, worn cards. She placed them face down in front of herself.

"Please tap the deck with your right hand."

I did as she asked and she pulled three cards and placed them face down in front of me. She rested her hands palms up on the table. She pressed her middle finger and thumb together and a deep hum rose from her chest. I watched her for a few minutes, when the air became heavy and thick. I felt chills at the back of my neck and goosebumps rose across my arms and legs. My heart was racing and I blinked, forcing my eyes to focus on the small woman in front of me.

"Ah yes, there he is. You can feel him, can't you?"

My throat was thick with emotions. A strained "yes." Somehow escaped my lips. I turned to Lenora. "Can you fell it? Please tell me you can feel it?" Tears were in my eyes and Lenora's eyes were wide with shock or fright, I wasn't quite sure of which. I had felt this feeling before. It was usually when I was with a dying patient and the air became thick and heavy. I was told once that I felt that way because there was a spirit present.

"Yeah, I feel, something."

"Oh how wonderful! Here give me your hands."

I slowly released my hand from Lenora's and hesitantly gave them to Bridgett. A warmth came from her hands. A heat that traveled up my arms and across my chest. The shock caused me to catch my breath and my back straightened. I closed my eyes, frightened on what I might see.

"Hi, sweetheart."

Tears rolled down my face as I heard my dad's voice. "Daddy?"

"Yes, Poopsy, it's me. How are you?"

A smile crossed my face and I coughed on the strangled cry that crept from my throat. "I miss you dad."

"I know you do, sweetheart."

I tilted my head, focusing on his voice. A vivid image of his face came to mind when he would look down at me over the top of his glasses when discussing something. "No dad, I really, really miss you. I miss you so much, every, single, day. People tell me I'll be okay. That life goes on. But dad, to me that is the hardest part."

"You are strong. You have always had a strength inside of you. You have a strong and determined soul. You will get through this."

His voice was so clear that I felt as if he was in the room with me. It was a welcomed comfort I had not felt since he had passed.

"You always put other people first. It's always been that way with you. You sacrifice so much to make sure others are happy. You made sure my last months on earth were filled with happiness and love. Thank you Poopsy."

My voice was gone. I had no strength to speak. My heart was aching and I let the tears flow unchecked down my face.

"Remember that I am never truly gone. You have been my voice and the stories you share carry on my legacy."

I hesitantly found my voice and croaked out a response. "I cry every night dad. I cry because I have gone another day without you."

"Sweetheart, you will be okay."

"I'm not as okay as I pretend to be."

There was silence for a moment and I was scared he was gone. My breathing hitched and the grief almost consumed me, when he spoke again.

"One-day Sweetheart someone will love you as much as you deserve. They will hug you so tight that all of your broken pieces will fit back together."

"Daddy. . ."

"I was with you when you took your first breath and you were with me, when I took my last. I will never, ever be gone."

A cold rush of air covered me and it shocked my insides like a rush of cold water. I slowly opened my eyes to a smiling Bridgett. She was staring at me over the rim of her glasses. I slowly pulled my stiff, cold fingers from her grasp. I sniffed and took a deep breath.

"Here you go honey. Have a tissue."

I grabbed a few tissues and blew my nose as I turned to look at Lenora. The look on her face was like frozen fear. I couldn't imagine what she had just witnessed, but my insides were spent and I felt utterly exhausted.

"What the hell did I just witness? I mean, really? Was I drugged cuz Damn, that shit was off the hook!"

I laughed despite my present condition. Lenora was always one to give me comic relief in times of extreme distress. I turned to Bridgett. "What about the cards? What do they have to do with me and my dad?"

Bridgett looked down and flipped over the cards. A strange look crossed her face. "I am not too sure I should read them. Your father wishes that I leave them be."

I leaned over to look at the cards and she quickly pulled them up and replaced them into the deck. "What do they mean?"

She sighed and shook her hand to dismiss me. "Just about your past, present and future." She stood and leaned over to blow out some candles. "Well thank you so much for coming in. Hope you enjoyed your reading. Please come again." She quickly ushered us from the room. Once I stepped through the doorway the air changed. I could breathe easier and I turned back to see Bridgett pulling the door to the room closed.

I waited for her and she walked with Lenora and I toward the exit. "How did you do that?

"Oh honey, I did nothing. Your father has always been with you; you just chose not to hear him. I just tuned in and turned up the volume."

"Turned up the volume on what? I don't get what you mean."

"You have a very old soul. So many voices and memories speaking to you. Over time you have learned to ignore them, or block them out. You know when they are around, your body senses it. All I did was to allow one of the voices through"

I lowered my head. I knew all too well what she meant by 'sensing them'. Ever since I could remember I could feel the presence of someone or something I could not see. My Grandmother had called it my inner sight. From what I remember, I had inherited it from her as did my mother. I also wondered if that was what drove into my mother into an early grave. Were the voices she heard ones from the past, forcing her to retail their stories? I extended my hand to her. "Thank you for that. It was . . ." I paused and thought how could I possibly put into words what she had done.

"Grief only exists where love lived first. You cannot grieve if you have never known love. Your heart has known both. Go in love my child."

I nodded my head and felt a hand on my elbow ushering me away from Bridgett. I turned to see Lenora escorting me through the exit. I was stumbling over my feet at her fast pace. We stepped out into the warm sunny afternoon and Lenora let go of me. I stopped and took a few deep breaths. I could smell fresh cut grass and a fragrant aroma of sweet smelling flowers. I watched Lenora dart across the parking lot to her car that we had parked under a large willow tree. I stepped off the porch and followed Lenora to the car. When I approached, I saw Mrs. Sanchez sitting behind the wheel looking at a map. I got into the back seat and saw Lenora get into the passenger seat. She was quiet and her face was pale. I leaned forward and placed my hand on her shoulder. She flinched away from my touch.

"Lenora, are you okay? You haven't said much, did the reading freak you out?"

Lenora turned to me. "Freak me out? Saraphina I just watched that woman conjure or summon your dead father as I watched. I saw it with my own eyes and I still don't believe it."

Mrs. Sanchez dropped the map and brought a hand to Lenora's face. She gently brushed hair away from her eyes and looked her in the face. "What happened Mija?"

"Just drive mom. I'll tell you on the way. I just need to get as far away from that woman as possible."

I sat back in my seat and buckled my seatbelt. I stared out the window and gave another glance back to the store front. The door was closed and the open sign was turned off. I shook my head and leaned back and listened to Lenora as she retold the events that had just unfolded before both of us. I watched out the window at the changing scenery. I replayed in my head the conversation I had with my dad. God it was so good to hear his voice again. To hear him call me the nickname he had used when I was younger. He used it on rare occasions, but the sentiment was dear to me.

I retreated into my own world, as I have done so many times before. I missed the sound of his voice, the wisdom in his advice, the stories of his life and just being in his presence. In that small moment of time she had given it all back. She had given me my daddy back and I was ultimately grateful. I opened my eyes and stared at the approaching tree line. The leaves were full of bright gold, yellow, red and orange colors. I sighed and my eyes scanned the landscape. I sat up straight when I heard Lenora scream.

"Ma, watch out!" The car lurched to the left and then right. Suddenly the outside was spinning and the sounds of my friend screaming and skidding tires on gravel filled my ears.

I began to cough as the mist filled the car. How could it be raining inside? Weren't we in a car? It took me a few moments to clear my head, when I realized the white mist was really powder from the air bags that had gone off. "Lenora? Kathy? Are you two okay?" Relief filled me when I heard them coughing. "What happened?"

"Did you hit it Ma?" Lenora's voice was hoarse and was coughing too.

"I don't think so, look toward the road, can you see it?"

I had no idea what they were talking about but, assumed we had ran off the road by trying to avoid hitting some type of animal. I unbuckled my seatbelt and gingerly moved my arms and legs. Good nothing was broken. My ears were ringing a bit and my eyes were beginning to burn from the dust. "I've gotta get out of this car. I can't breathe." I crawled across the back seat and pushed open the door. It opened with ease and I stumbled out into the tall grass and shrubs. I glanced around and saw the mangled trail we tore through the underbrush from the road. What I saw standing on the roadway made chills run down my spine. A very large gray and black wolf was standing there. His breath leaving puffs of smoke in the cool air. I was frozen as I stared at the beautiful beast. He was less than 20 feet away but appeared to be staring right at me. He took a step forward and my body pressed against the car. I had nowhere to go.

A loud creak from the car door, broke the silence as Lenora pushed at it. I turned to look at her and noticed she had blood running from a cut on her forehead and she was holding her right arm against her. "Did you see it?"

"See what?"

"The Wolf? My mom almost smoked it back there."

I turned back to the road and the wolf was gone. Had it even been there? "Well we almost got smoked ourselves, are you okay? Your head is bleeding."

She wrinkled her forehead up, and I smiled when I realized she was trying to look at her own forehead. "My head feels fine, but my shoulder hurts like a bitch. The seatbelt pulled me back really hard when stopped."

I looked around again for the wolf and decided it ran away. I walked over Lenora to look at her head. It wasn't deep, so she wouldn't need stitches, but head wounds always bled like crazy. I gently felt across her shoulder, tracing the line of her collarbone. I pulled back when the quick intake of breath told me what I suspected. "I think you have a broken collarbone. We need to get your arm in a sling. How is your mom?"

"I am fine, I have some cuts and burns on my arms, but nothing's broken."

I watched as Mrs. Sanchez walked from the other side of the car and stopped by me. I was immediately in trauma mode, looking over their wounds, seeing what needed to taken care of right away and assessing them for any internal injuries. "Lenora, you aren't having any trouble breathing are you?" She shook her head and I watched Mrs. Sanchez walk up to the road, her cell phone against her ear.

"I have a first aide kit in my bag. Sit down a bit and Ill get your head cleaned up." I reached into the back and pulled up my bag. I dug through it and pulled out my bright pink bag that held my first-aid kit and other nursing essentials.

"Are you kidding me? You brought you blood pressure cuff and stethoscope?"

I smiled and carefully wrapped the cuff around her left arm. "Just sit still and breathe normal okay." I pumped up my cuff and adjusted the nob as I watched the hand slowly lower, waiting for the familiar thumping in my ears. I sighed and removed the cuff. "You BP is fine, it's a bit elevated, but that is to be expected. I'll check it again in a bit. I want to listen to your lungs." She sighed and rolled her eyes, but did not stop me from doing a full assessment on her. When I finished I pulled out some gauze and saline and began to clean her forehead. I was absently talking to her, not about anything particular, just filling the eerie silence with mindless chatter. I was just finishing with the last butterfly stitch when Mrs. Sanchez voice pulled me from my task.

"I was able to get a hold of Triple A, but they can't get a tow truck out here till Saturday, late tomorrow at the earliest."

I dropped my hands from Lenora's head. "What the hell are we supposed to do till then? We are out in the middle of nowhere."

"Didn't you call the police, we have injuries here." Lenora was visibly upset.

"I did, but out here they only have one State Trooper for every 300 miles. If it isn't life threatening, we are on our own."

"Did you not see the cut on my face? Me being left with a scar is life threatening!"

Mrs. Sanchez rolled her eyes and continued to speak like she had not been interrupted. "We have to find a way to our lodge."

"How far away is that?" I wasn't hurt, but wasn't sure how a long walk would affect Lenora's head injury.

Lenora turned in her seat and pulled out the map. "Well if I am reading this right we are still about ten miles from our lodge. I doubt an uber will give us any help."

Lenora's mom put her phone back to her ear and said hello. I hadn't heard it ring, she must have had it on vibrate. "Oh, that isn't far. Are you sure they welcome visitors? Yes, I suppose we can do that. Yes, it's a little past mile marker 176. Okay. Thank you so much." She hung up her phone and a big smile crossed her face. There is a place we can stay that is less then a half mile up the road. It's an authentic living Native American Village. They have authentic Native food, dancing and dwellings. The best part is on Friday night they have a Pow Wow. If we had come this summer, we could have watched them perform the Sundance."

"Oh wow, that's awesome! I turned and looked at Lenora and the excitement on her face was evident. Ever since we were in high school, we read historical romance novels. Most of them were based on the Native American culture and we had been fascinated with their history ever since. We had gone to a few Intertribal Pow Wows and it had been an amazing experience. The music, singing and dancing was energetic. I couldn't imagine what it would be like witnessing this in the outdoors as it was meant to be.

We grabbed our bag's, and I was grateful mine had wheels as we headed in the direction Mrs. Sanchez had said the AAA agent had indicated. I was carrying Lenora's bag on my back as we walked down the road. It hadn't been long before we turned on a dirt road and shortly after we arrived at a parking lot. We saw other cars parked in neat rows and we stopped looking around at the dense wooded area. Nothing was around except a small dirt pathway that led into the trees.

"So now what?" I looked at Lenora and she shrugged her shoulder.

"Oh look, here's a sign." Lenora and I walked over to Mrs. Sanchez. She was standing in front of a wooden sign. She began to read.

This site is the location of the fierce and brave Teton Sioux. During the advancement of the white settlers, many tribes were pushed back further and further until they were herded into small reservations. Many Lakota's refused to be forced from their land, but knew their days were numbered living as the Great Spirit intended. For over two hundred years, 6 generations of one Lakota tribe worked, nurtured and respected this land. It was the wish of the descendants of White Wolf, this land, a total of 1100 acre's to share its natural bounty with all people. This land is the only authentic living village that has remained untouched by the white man. The Village was named White Wolf Ridge & Nature Preserve, in his honor. Due to our customs all vehicle's and modern-day devices must be kept in the lot provided. A guide will escort you to White Wolf Ridge at every half hour starting at 8:00 am and ending at 8:00 pm."

Mrs. Sanchez finished reading and looked back at Lenora and myself.

"Wow, that is fricking awesome!" Lenora had a large smile on her face and I could see the excitement in her eyes. I turned when Mrs. Sanchez spoke.

"Do you think we can still bring in our cameras?"

"That would be a modern device mom."

I smiled as I watched Mrs. Sanchez swat at Lenora. Her black curly hair swayed in the wind as she turned away from us. I looked at my watch and realized that we had about 20 minutes before the next guide would arrive. We turned off our phones and buried them in the bottom of my suitcase. I walked up to the pathway I had noticed earlier, and Lenora approached me.

"Some day, hugh?"

I nodded my head. "Yeah. You seemed pretty freaked out when we left the shop earlier."

"Yeah. It was really weird seeing that lady talk, and your dad's voice came out. It actually reminded of the movie Ghost. You know when that spirit takes over Whoopie Goldberg's character and started talking like the dead guy."

"Really? I thought his voice was only in my head. I didn't realize you could hear him too." I crossed my arms across my chest. I was trying to fight the cold chills I felt when I remembered the earlier events.

"I heard every part." She paused and raised her head and locked eyes with me. "To be honest, I am pretty jealous."

Lenora lowered her eyes and began pulling at her top lip with her fingers. It was a nervous habit she had since we were kids. I leaned over and wrapped my arms around her. I could feel her arm embrace me and we stood silently for a few moments. No words were said, we needed none. Lenora and I were best friends since second grade. We understood each other on a level that words were not necessary. I slowly pulled from her embrace, when I heard some people talking. We watched as a group of about fifteen people came through the path from the trees. They were all chatting excitedly and we watched as they went to their cars and began to leave.

"Háu Wašìcu, welcome to White Wolf Ridge."

I turned around to see an older gentleman. He appeared to be in his mid-sixties and dressed in a buckskin shirt and pants with simple beading and fringe. His hair was pulled back into a single braid that hung down his back, almost reaching his waist. He was tall and lean and his face was stern looking. I watched as he looked me up and down, then to Lenora and her mom. I leaned slightly over to Lenora and spoke softly. "Did he just say Greetings White People?" We chuckled and I stopped suddenly when his dark eyes set back on us.

"You know the Lakota tongue?" His gaze did not steer from me and I quickly lowered my eyes.

"I have heard that greeting before. I read a lot and have picked up a few terms. Most are just greetings."

I heard him breathe deeply through his nose and an odd guttural noise came from his throat. "You may follow me."

Lenora and I locked eyes and then eagerly followed the man. Mrs. Sanchez followed behind us. She was flipping through a note book she had pulled from her purse.

"Mom, please tell me you did not bring that notebook with you?"

A look of surprise crossed Mrs. Sanchez face. "Oh, course I brought it. I want to make sure my pronunciation and spelling of these words are correct."

I knew her notebook very well. She had several words, greetings and phrases she had jotted down over time. We usually have a good laugh when we bring up the Michigan Intertribal Pow-wow. She had tried to have a conversation with an old Shawnee woman using her notebook. The poor woman had one hell of a time trying to figure out what she was asking. She finally shook her fists and shouted. "In English, for God's sake speak English!" We later learned that Mrs. Sanchez had used several different tribes and dialects, that she was trying to pass off as one language.

"Now Ma, you do realize that we are at a Sioux village. There were like four or five branches under them and they all had different pronunciations to words."

"Yes, I realize this. Not all of us can be as smart as you and remember all the dynamics of every Indian tribe in the U.S." Mrs. Sanchez lowered her head and flipped through the pages of her notebook. Lenora and I covered our mouths and tried to muffle our laughter. "Should I tell her it's improper to say Indian and she should really say Native American, or even Indigenous people?" Lenora whispered to me as I pulled my jacket from my waist and put it on. I stole a glance at Mrs. Sanchez and saw how her brows were furrowed together in frustration.

"No, I think we should leave her alone. With all we have been through today, I want to keep things on a good note." I watched her as she shifted her arm in the makeshift sling I made from my belt. "Does it hurt badly?"

Lenora nodded her head but brushed me off. "I've been through worse. The Meds you gave me have yet to kick in, so I should be fine." We continued to walk in silence for a bit, the only noise was the crunch of dried leaves and twigs we landed on as we walked. I looked around through the dense trees and a contentment came over me. The serene peace that surrounded me felt like a warm blanket on a cold day. I felt centered and calm, in this small moment of time everything was right with the world.

"Wow, you need to check this guy out."

I turned my head from the scenery and followed Lenora's gaze to the man our guide had walked up to. We stood a few feet from the men and I could tell he was very tall, even taller than our guide was, who was a whole head taller than my 5' 9" frame. He stood with his long, wavy black hair falling loosely down his back and his features were sharp and well defined. He had a stern look upon his face, but my breath caught when he looked over at us and my eyes locked with his. His eyes were a light grey, a deep contrast to his dark features. I blinked a few times and slowly pulled my gaze from the man.

"Welcome ladies. My name is Walter Gray Sky. I will be helping you mount your horses for the ride to White Wolf Ridge."

Lenora and I turned to each other and mouthed "Horses?" She grabbed my hand and squeezed tightly. I had not been on a horse in years and that experience was less than appealing to me. Mrs. Sanchez rested her hand on my shoulder and I turned toward her. "Doesn't it feel like we are back in time? The authentic looking Indians, and we get to ride horses!"

I chuckled and shook my head. "No, not really. It just feels like we are going horseback riding."

Her face fell and I felt bad for dampening her excitement. "We just got here and we haven't even gotten to the village. Things will be different when we get there."

A smile crossed her weathered face and she walked over to our guide. I listened as he spoke, but turned my attention to Lenora when she asked about his name.

"What do we call him? I would love to call him Mr. Gray, do you think he has a red tipi of pain?" I nudged Lenora, fighting to keep a straight face. I nodded my head forward and we listened as he gave us instructions on mounting and riding the horses. We followed him around a small cluster of trees and came to a clearing where a group of horses were. They were tied to a wooden pole and we walked over to them. I could hear our guide talking with Mr. Gray Sky, but I couldn't understand what they were saying. I knew the men were strangers to us, but I had no sense of fear of them. Which I found odd, especially for myself. Ever since I was a small girl I have always been reluctant toward strangers. I however felt nothing but calm and peace with these men. Lenora and I watched as they helped Mrs. Sanchez onto her horse. When she was mounted she screeched with delight and a hugh smile crossed her face. "Oh how wonderful! Mija, do I look like an Indian Princess?"

"No Ma, you look like a crazy white woman on a horse."

Everyone began to laugh at Lenora's comment. The two men shook their heads and I tried to hide the smile on my face.

"What did you do to your arm? Will you be able to mount a horse with one arm?"

We both turned to Mr. Gray Sky as he stood near Lenora. "We were in a car accident. Drove off the road and hit a tree, trying to avoid hitting a wolf. Lenora is hurt the worst with the cut to her head and a possible broken collar bone. We walked here from where we left our car."

He stared at us for a moment, turned back to the other man and said something I did not understand. The other man nodded, jumped on the back of a horse and took off into the woods. "Where you able to get help from police or a towing company?"

"They will be here in a few days. Since our injuries are non-life threatening, they don't believe we are in any danger." I wasn't sure if I was seeing things or not, but I swore the man's eyes became darker at my comment.

"Three women, not familiar with the area, stranded with no shelter. That is an emergency. I insist the three of you, stay in our village. There are many families that will offer you food and shelter, free of charge of course. We also have a doctor that can see to your injuries."

"Thank, you. That is very kind of you." He nodded his head and helped Lenora onto her horse with ease. I turned to my horse and anxiety begin to build in my stomach.

My horse was large, brown and white with one blue and one brown eye. I grabbed the pummel of the saddle and used my leverage to pull up onto the horse. I settled myself and pulled the reigns tightly in my left hand. The horse stomped his front hooves a few times and I leaned forward to pat his neck. Anxiety rose in my chest at the memory of my last encounter with a horse. "I'll make a deal with you. I won't kick your sides and scream in your ears if you don't run wild through the trees trying to kill me." The horse remained still and I hoped it was his answer to my plea.

"It is good to talk with your horse. Let him hear your voice so he knows you are a friend."

I turned to gaze at our stern looking guide. I smiled and patted the horses neck again. "Oh I was just asking him not to buck me off in the process of killing me."

The handsome man grabbed the bridle by the horse's mouth and gently pet its muzzle. "Bad experience with horses?"

"Yeah. Was on a trail horse that was very skittish. The horse trainer didn't adjust the stirrups for me so I had to use my legs to stay on. Every time I squeezed my legs the horse ran faster. Scariest ride of my life."

"Yeah I would imagine so. Well you will be fine today. These horses are very tame. Enjoy your visit."

"I hope to, thank you." I situated myself in my saddle. Mr. Gray Sky encouraged us to use our legs to tap the side of the horse to urge them forward. My horse began to walk and anxiety rose in my chest again. The horse seemed to know where it was going and needed little direction from me. I soon found myself riding beside Mr. Gray Sky and Lenora and her mom rode behind us.

"So, how did you ladies end up in the rural part of South Dakota?"

I turned toward Walter and took quick inventory of his form. He was sitting tall on the horse. His back straight and the reigns hung loosely in his right hand. His left hand rested on his thigh. Damn, he made this look good. I cleared my throat before answering him. "Oh, we are on a road trip from Ohio. We planned to stay in a cabin not far from here on our journey west to see the Redwood forest."

"Left the kids and husband at home to fend for themselves?"

"Yeah, you could say that." I chuckled a bit and looked down at my hands. I loosened my grip on the reigns and cleared my throat. I looked over at him and a small smile curved on my face. I had a sudden urge to tell this man, my entire life story. "My dad recently passed and I've been having a hard time dealing with the loss. Lenora, my best friend, went through a similar situation with her dad. She and her mom suggested we get away from it all. Immerse ourselves in something away from things that remind us of what we have lost."

"Yeah, I guess that would make sense."

"We were told about this place by our triple A agent. We figured this was our best bet, since we didn't want to walk ten miles to where our cabin is." I paused a moment to clear my throat and then continued. "We all are very intrigued with the Native American culture. Mrs. Sanchez, Lenora's mom has a distant relative that was Blackfoot."

A soft smile crossed his face and he nodded his head. He leaned toward me. "Everyone seems to have a great- great grandmother that was Native American, when they visit here." A light chuckle erupted from his chest and I smiled.

"Yeah, bet you hear that one a lot. Well you will be pleased to hear I make no such claims. I am only Irish and Slovak."

A half smile formed on his face. His gray eyes looked at me from his hooded dark lashes. My breath caught for a moment as he spoke.

"Well, you will be the first white visitor to our village, welcome!"

We both laughed and we continued our discussion. I asked him about where he lived and how the village makes money to survive. He told me that he grew up here and loved the fact that he could survive by hunting and making things like his ancestors had. They did have a gift shop where people could buy items made by some of the villagers. "We get a decent amount of income from campers. We have a section reserved for camping, but they are only primitive hook-up's. We do not allow electricity of any kind on the Ridge. Other income comes from people who leave the ridge and work in town. All the money they make is put into our village fund, that way it supports our entire community."

"That sounds very cool. Are there ever people who leave and don't return?"

"Oh sure, there will always be people that want more and think what we are doing is out dated and old fashioned. It isn't any different than the way some Amish live. This is our way of life, it's who we are. How can you argue with nature?"

I nodded my head in agreement. I turned in my saddle to look over my shoulder at Lenora and her mom. I nodded my head to them and Lenora did the same. She then took her fist, pounded it against her chest a few times and then flashed me the peace sign. I chuckled and covered my mouth to stifle my laughter. I side glanced at Mr. Gray Sky and he continued staring ahead. He had shown no sign that he had seen what Lenora had done.

"Your friend is very funny. Is she always like this?"

I shifted in the saddle attempting to get more comfortable and cleared my throat. "Yeah pretty much. She is a great person to have as a friend."

The rest of the trip we rode in silence. I took in my surroundings and allowed myself to relax. Cool wind blew through the trees and I looked up to the graying sky. Everything was quiet and peaceful, the stress and anxiety that had filled me earlier seemed to melt away and for the first time in a long time I felt at peace.

Chapter 3

I looked around in amazement as we approached a clearing and a small town sprung up in front of us. I thought it odd that and 'authentic Indian village' had buildings and it felt we were in more of an old mining town than anything else. The horse stopped and I turned to Mr. Gray Sky.

"So, this is it? We're here?"

"Yes, this is what we call our traders town. It looks like what a small town would be in the 1800's. The dwellings are further away and people come to town to work. Tourism is a big part of our economy here."

We dismounted, and I held my horses reigns in my hand. "Thank you so very much Mr. Gray Sky, you have been very informative."

"Please call me Walter, and the pleasure was mine."

I smiled and my fingers brushed against his as I handed him the reigns. A warm tingle shot up my arm and I quickly let go of the reigns.

"I will call for our doctor and put word out that you and your friends will need lodging. Will you want to attend the Pow Wow tonight?"

The strange feeling I felt, left me uneasy and I took a step back. I was momentarily at a loss for words, but quickly recovered. "Um, I believe so. We have gone to a few Intertribal ones, but they were always inside."

"Only way you can fully enjoy a Pow Wow is in a Lakota Village. Enjoy your visit, I hope to see you around."

I turned and watched him walk away. "Now that is something I could get used to looking at every day." I turned to Lenora and saw the strange smile that was across her face. I did have to agree, that Walter was quite attractive. He was what I liked to call a manly, man. Very rugged, outdoorsy and fit. Someone who was very capable of taking care of things around the house and also in the bedroom.

"Did you see the size of his hands? His fingers were so long!" I bent my head and grabbed Lenora's uninjured arm. "Shhh, he can probably hear us." We burst into a fit of giggles and Lenora continued as her mom approached us.

"He may ride the horses during the day, but at night I would be the one riding him!" We laughed until my sides hurt and Mrs. Sanchez hushed us to keep a civil tongue. I was drying the tears from my eyes and I looked around the town. There were six buildings, three on each side of the small creek that ran though the center of town. I walked up to the first building on my left and climbed the steps to the porch. A sign on the door read Main Service Shop and under the sign was writing in a language I assumed to be Lakota.

"So, where are we going to first?" I turned to see Lenora and Mrs. Sanchez standing behind me.

"Well, I think this shop might give us an idea of what is going on tonight. Let's go check it out and then find some food. I'm starving!" I opened the door and held it for Lenora and Mrs. Sanchez and followed them through the door into the quaint shop. I smiled at the setup of the store. There were several tables that were around the one room store. Each one offered a different activity that you could do. They ranged from basket weaving, beading and arrow making to cooking and tipi construction.

"We could be here for a week and not do everything."

"That is the point Ma, they want people to come back again and again." Lenora leaned over and was looking at the times and cost for basket weaving.

"Why don't we see what is offered and figure out what we can do."

I continued to walk through the store. After about 20 minutes we had all decided we would try basket weaving and then the cooking class. We paid for the classes to the woman behind the counter and then walked out onto the porch. I stood for a moment listening to the birds and crickets for a moment. It was a peaceful calm that I could get used to. The town was quiet, with not many people about. The shopkeeper had told us many of the people would be getting ready for this evening's festivities. I smiled when I heard Mrs. Sanchez mumbling to herself as she dug through her purse.

"Is that a dog or a wolf?" I turned my gaze to where Lenora was pointing and I saw a large animal by the waters edge.

"Holy crap, that is a fricking wolf!"

"Are you sure? It could just be a husky. A lot of times they look like similar."

I shook my head. "No, it's a wolf. You can tell from its legs and its muzzle."

Lenora walked over and stood next to me. "I wonder why it's so close to town? You don't think it's the same one we almost hit do you?"

I shook my head. The wolf I had seen earlier had black in it. This one was mostly gray and white. We watched in fascination as the animal looked up from the water and sniffed the air. It looked around and then slowly began to walk toward us. My eyes locked with the wolf's and I became frozen. I was unable to turn away or blink and stood staring at the large gray and white animal.

"Mija, come inside. We don't know anything about this animal. I don't think it's safe for us to be out here."

Lenora whispered to me. "I don't think we should make any sudden movements." She turned to her mother. "Ma it's not going to come up on the porch."

I heard the screen door shut, and I knew Mrs. Sanchez had gone inside, but I still couldn't turn my eyes from this wolf. It lifted its head and sniffed the air again. It paused, then sat and tilted it's head to the side. For some strange reason I felt like it was asking me if it is okay for it to approach. I didn't realize I had spoken until I heard Lenora's sharp intake of breath. The wolf stood and approached the steps.

"Do not move. Calm yourself and he will not harm you."

I slowly pull my eyes from the wolf and I see Walter Gray Sky leaning against the building off to my left. He slowly approached me and I see he has a plaid blanket over his shoulders. He stands in front of me and put himself between me and the wolf. I leaned my forehead against his back and the wool blanket is warm and scratchy against my skin. I should be frightened, but strangely I am not. I feel a calmness come over me, like I am protected somehow. I grab onto Walters blanket and bunch it into my fists.

"We need to show we are no threat. I am going to lower to the ground, follow me."

We slowly lower to our knees and I can hear the clicking of the wolfs nails on the wooden porch. I can feel the hot breath from his muzzle against my neck. The whiskers tickle me and his nose is warm and wet. I can hear his sniffing through my hair and against my back. I start to focus on his breathing and I imagine I am collecting his breath and holding it. When he comes around onto my right side I turn my head and blow out the air I imagined I had collected. The wolf snorts and shakes his head. We lock eyes and I stare into his. He snorts again and turns his head and walks down the steps of the porch. My eyes follow him and he stops again and looks back at me once more before he takes off and runs into the nearby trees.

My hands are still clenched in Walters blanket and I slowly open them and stand.

He stands and looks to where the wolf had run and his eyes set on me. "What in all things holy did you do?"

I shrug my shoulders and shyly explain what I had done. I watch his face and it changes from confusion to delight. He smiles as he looks down at his feet and leans forward and raises his eyes up to me. "You have lived before. Whomever you had loved was your soulmate and the wolf was his spirit guide. You were connected to him on such a powerful level that the wolf recognizes you as a kindred spirit."

I turn from him and look at Lenora. She steps down from the chair she was standing on and walks up to me. "Holy crap girl, I totally thought that wolf was gonna take a bite out of you."

"Lenora, did you hear what he just told me?" I wait for her to come up to me and I grab her arm. "He just told me that I lived before and that I am a kindred spirit with the wolf."

"Seriously? Damn girl that is bad ass. Is that why the wolf didn't do anything to you?"

Walter clears his throat and we both turn to look at him. His eyes are dark and the look on his face gives me chills.

"You cannot ignore what just happened. This is a sign from the Great Spirit that you are destined for something very important."

I look from his gray eyes down to my hands. Past life? Where does he get the idea that I had a past life? "I don't know why you are telling me this. It makes no sense at all." I feel Lenora's warm hand on my arm as the door slams closed and Mrs. Sanchez voice calls out to me.

"Oh my Lord, that wolf was right on top of you. How in God's name did you keep it from hurting you?"

"Apparently, she is a kindred spirit with the wolf. Saraphina lived a past life with the Indians." I could hear the sarcasm in Lenora's voice and I turn to give her a stern look.

"Saraphina, are you alright Mija?" Mrs. Sanchez took my hand into hers and squeezed gently. She rarely used the Spanish word for 'my daughter' to address me and it suddenly struck a chord of emotion with me. No one had called me daughter since my dad died. My nose began to tickle and I could feel my bottom lip tremble. She pulled me against her and a flood of emotions burst from me like a broken damn. She wrapped her arms tightly around me and I allowed my emotions to break free. I buried my face in her shoulder. At that moment, I felt safe and loved. Where I could be protected, and cared for. A feeling I had not felt since I last hugged my dad over 14 months before.

"Are you better Mija?"

I pulled back and made a vain attempt to wipe the tears from my face.

"Here, you can use this."

I looked at the dark blue bandana that Walter handed me. "Thank you." I wiped my nose and face and crumpled it into my pocket.

"Among my people the wolf is a sacred animal. Anyone who can speak or connect with the wolf is known to have strong medicine." He paused and turned to the woods where the wolf had disappeared into. "This was your second encounter with a wolf in one day. What I witnessed is like nothing I have ever seen before. Would you mind coming with me to speak with our village elders?"

I turn my gaze from Walter and look at Lenora and her mom. "We were planning on doing some other activities before the Pow Wow. I am not sure we will have time." I watched his face and his brows pressed together. He looked like he was struggling with something.

"I understand. I will ensure our doctor comes to see you tonight. It will most likely be after the Pow Wow." He lowered his head and retreats.

"You know this is nothing new for us. Saraphina can communicate with all kinds of animals. We call her Dr. Doolittle back home." Walter halts his retreat and slowly turns his head back toward us.

"I understand your concern for your friend, but making a joke out of this is no laughing matter. Do not anger the spirits, or their wrath will fall upon you with a vengeance." He turned and walked away.

"I don't like how this feels Lenora. Something about all of this feels off."

"Hey, just let it go girl." She nudges my arm and smiles at me. "Hey which one of you signed us up for the animal spirit experience? Cuz this is just a bit out of my comfort zone."

I smiled and linked my arm with hers. I laid my head on her shoulder. "Thanks Lenora. You're awesome. I'm blessed to have you as a friend."

"Hey that's what friends are for." We both smiled and continued in song.

"In good times and bad times, I'll be by your side forever more. . ." Laughing, we walked arm and arm through the small town toward the road that led to 'basket weaving orientation.' Mrs. Sanchez read the flyer to us as we followed the signs on the pathway that led us to a clearing with three large tipis'. I stopped and looked at them and marveled at their size. "I never realized how big these things were."

"I had an idea from reading all the books that we did, but when you finally put it into perspective. Wow!" Lenora and her mom slowly walked around the tipi closest to us. These were not made from canvas or tarps. These were made from animal hides, lots of them. Mrs. Sanchez had a huge smile on her face and I smiled at her reaction. This is what we were looking for, what we had hoped to see. After all the book's we read and the different things we had learned, it was so cool to see what you had pictures of in your head finally come to life.

We met with Maggie Blue Bird and her daughter Sarah. They were so sweet and patient as they showed us how to collect the reeds and prepare them for weaving. We spent our time talking and laughing as we fumbled with the reeds as we attempted to weave them into something that resembled a shape. The two women laughed with us at our clumsy hands and in the end, we had three baskets that were sturdy enough to stand on their own, but not hold much of anything. The women explained that once the reeds dried the baskets would become stronger. They congratulated us on our work and pointed us in the direction of our next destination.

We walked through the woods on the small dirt path toward a woman's tipi that Maggie had told us would teach us to make venison soup. The path was narrow so we walked in a single file. I was last in line and we chatted to each other about our experience so far and how different it was compared to our original ideas. I slowed when something to my left caught my eye. I stopped and strained my eyes in the dimming daylight to try and see what was in the distance. I noticed a shape by one of the trees and I turned my head to call out to Lenora, but stopped when I saw it move. My heart seized and a cold chill ran from the back of my neck down my arms and I dropped my basket. "Oh God, not again." My eyes locked with the bright yellow eyes of a large black wolf. The space between us blurred and all I saw was the animal. Cold sweat trickled down to the small of my back and my heart hammered in my ears.

"Saraphina, are you coming?"

I was suddenly pulled from my trance and I turned to Lenora. "Yeah, sorry." I bent over to pick up my basket and stole a quick look back at the wolf. There was nothing there, and as I took a deep breath I wondered if it was ever there to begin with.

We arrived at another cluster of tipis and we walked up to the one that had a woman sitting by it and a large black kettle pot. The older woman welcomed us and we sat down in front of her. She had long white hair and swollen hand joints that were disfigured from arthritis. She moved quickly for someone as feeble as she was. In no time she had the soup prepared and we were enjoying the tasty venison. I wasn't sure if it was the dissipating adrenaline from the accident or what I had experienced earlier with the wolf, but I was exhausted and physically drained. I felt like I couldn't focus on one more thing before collapsing into exhaustion. I wondered as we finished with our cooking lesson if I even had the strength to stay awake for the Pow Wow. Lenora and her mom chatted with each other and I watched our host, Judy gather her things and begin bringing them into her tipi. "Oh, let me help you." I set my bowel aside and quickly stood and walked over to the tiny woman. She didn't have much to clean up, so we managed to get it done after one trip.

"Thank you, sweet child." She took my hand into her warm, disfigured ones. She pulled it to her cheek and held it there for a moment. Her face was warm and weathered and an odd sensation came over me. Suddenly a flash of a memory flitted through my thoughts like on the reel of an old movie projector. I remembered a brief moment of me as a child hugging my grandmother in her kitchen when she let me help her bake cookies. My eyes teared and I leaned down and wrapped my arms around her warm, plump frame. She spoke softly to me, "You are an amazing woman. Thank you for your help."

I pulled back and my eyes were still locked with hers when I heard Lenora's voice.

"Hey, the Pow Wow is starting. We need to jet girl."

I pulled my gaze from Judy and looked at Lenora. "How do you know it's starting?" I paused when I heard the beating drums in the distance.

"Go my child. Enjoy yourselves. I will see you at the Pow Wow. Maybe during the woman's dance."

I nodded my head and we quickly gathered our things and walked down the path to the center of the village. We all talked excitedly about what we would see, and how it would affect us. Our last Pow Wow was so intense that Lenora and I had insisted that we had been given Peyote in some of our food. It was the only way to explain the dancing chickens and melting faces we saw. When we reached the clearing, we stopped. I was speechless at the view in front of me. I was absolutely awestruck at the vision that stood before me.

The clearing opened to a massive area that had to have over 50 large tipis that formed a large circle. As we walked, we passed swarms of people, all dressed in buckskin dresses, leggings and feathers. The clicking of shells on their clothing seemed to compliment the music that was already playing. The music was so intense I felt it in my chest. I felt a nudge on my arm and I turned to Lenora.

"Hey, isn't that Mr. Gray, take me to your red room?"

I looked to where Lenora was pointing. "Yeah, that's Walter." I smiled when I spotted him by a large group of men. He was dressed head to toe with feathers, bells and held a brightly colored staff. "Looks like he's dancing tonight."

"Come on Mija, let's get closer so we can see better." I turned my gaze to Lenora and followed her through the crowd of people to find a seat. We joined a group of women with young girls sitting in a row in front of them. They sat on blankets with their legs pulled to their side. We asked the women if we could join them and they graciously offered a spot by them.

Lenora and I excitedly locked arms and squeaked with anticipation as we sat in the grass among the other observers. There was a large fire in the center of the immense circle and I turned to Lenora and saw the awestruck look upon her face as she looked around. There was a change in the music and the drums slowed and a lone flute was playing The talking ceased and it was eerily quiet, except for the flute. I sat up straighter anxious to see the flute player, when an idyllic singer joined in. A chorus of women and young men to my left began to join in on the singing. Goosebumps formed on my arms and I looked to see the music had the same effect on Lenora. The woman next to me leaned over and spoke softly to me. "This is a plea to our Great Spirit for loved ones that have passed. It is a vow to always honor their memory with love and in turn they remain safe in the happy hunting ground."

"That is so beautiful." I paused, momentarily speechless. I cleared my throat and continued speaking. "I am awestruck at how lovely the singing is. It has given me goosebumps." I raised my arm to show her. She smiled and placed a warm, soft hand on my arm. "Among the Lakota, that is a sign of a lost loved one that has come back."

My eyes widened and I looked from her beautiful large brown eyes to my arm again. Chills crawled across my back and up my neck.

"Enjoy the music, it will continue to move you, I am sure of that." She removed her hand and turned back to the singers. I took a deep breath and pushed away the odd sensation that continued to plague me.

The music tempo increased and soon dancers came out. Lenora, Mrs. Sanchez and I laughed and shouted as the excitement from the different dancers seemed to fill the air with a thickness I could not describe. One song after another the dancers continued and didn't tire. We watched older couples dance, their soft slow steps a small memory of a time when they were younger and quicker. Young children danced and we all shouted with laughter at watching the tiny dancers circle the fire with eager desire to be as good as their elders.

For some strange reason I felt truly content and at peace at this moment. I felt filled up happiness and I couldn't remember the last time I had felt this way. Mrs. Sanchez tapped my arm and leaned across Lenora.

"We are going to get something to drink, do you want anything?"

"Yeah, sure. Whatever they got will be fine." I watched Lenora stand with her mother and carefully weave through the mass of people. I turned back to the dancers and watched as the circle cleared and the music died down. A man's voice was now speaking. It was deep and powerful. I had no clue what he was saying, but as I scanned the crowd I saw many people sitting with their eyes closed. When I turned back, the man was joined by three other men and they together began to sing.

My ears began to ring and I fought to clear my head. The drumming increased with the tempo and I wasn't sure if it was the drums or my own heart that was thumping in my ears. My eyes focused on the fire and odd shapes began to form. My eyes were locked on the flames, then a flash like a blown light bulb burst before me and my body froze.

Darkness engulfed me and I lost consciousness. I felt confined, like being in an enclosed space. Dust was thick in my throat and I coughed. I felt that what I was laying on was moving. It was jostling me around and I was scared to open my eyes. I was hot, very hot and I could feel sweat roll across my face and down my neck. I felt full and a heaviness filled me. A movement in my stomach froze my breathing. I had felt that same feeling when I was pregnant! Dear God what was happening to me? I felt the movement again and my eyes sprang open.

"Hey Saraphina, here's your drink." I was staring at Lenora as she extended a cup to me. I blinked my eyes and allowed them to focus a bit before I reached for the drink. My other hand went to my flat stomach and I sighed.

"Hey, are you okay? Your face is really pale." Lenora sat next to me and I just nodded my head.

"I think all the excitement from the day has finally caught up with me." I looked out to see a few dancers leave the center and an upbeat drum and rattle tempo began to play. I turned my head when the woman sitting next to me stood along with the row of girls that had been sitting in front of us. They all dropped their blankets and walked to the dance floor.

"Will you join us? This is the woman's dance. It is to honor all women for being the givers of life."

I wanted to decline. I still felt uneasy after the strange incident moments ago.

"Of course, we will come. Come on Mija, let's dance." Mrs. Sanchez grabbed Lenora's hand and leaned over to grab mine. She pulled me up and I reluctantly stood. We wove our way to the dance floor with the other women of the village. We followed the steps of what everyone else was doing and crossed our arm's in front of our chest. We took a step forward with only the ball of our foot, tapping it twice before taking another step. I tried to enjoy myself, but I felt disconnected and lost, like a leaf drifting in the wind. I didn't want to ruin anyone's time so I forced a smile and looked around at the strange faces we passed

I saw so many families, laughing and enjoying themselves in each other's company. I wanted that too. To be able to be with my family and not always be on eggshells as to what might be said or done to anger Charlie and an argument break out. I didn't want to feel a sadness inside me anymore. My eyes stopped on a familiar face and I froze. Lenora stopped a few feet from me and leaned over to speak to me.

"Hey girl, what's up? Forget the steps again?"

"Look whose here." I nodded my head and began walking with Lenora.

"What the hell is she doing here?"

"I don't know, maybe she came for the Pow Wow too."

Lenora shrugged her shoulders and pulled me closer. "Let's just keep our distance. I'm not sure I want to deal with the emotions and turmoil that accompanies her." We continued our dancing and when we circled back, I was surprised to see her talking with Walter Gray Sky. He was listening intently to her and he raised his head and our eyes locked. A warmth filled me and my breath caught in my throat. I felt trapped by his gaze and was only freed when he looked away. I turned to Lenora, "Hey I need to use the restroom, I'll be right back."

"There are no bathrooms, just find good coverage and squat." She made a funny face like she was straining and then burst into a fit of giggles. I smiled at her and walked through the crowd and wove through the tipis until I was far enough away that I could sit in some quiet. My stomach was in knots and I sat hard onto the ground. I leaned against a tree and put my head between my knees. My hands were shaking and I could feel my heart racing. Why was I feeling like this?

"Are you okay?

My head shot up at the voice and it took me a moment to focus my eyes. Walter Gray Sky was standing a few feet from where I was sitting. He looked breathtaking in his traditional ceremonial attire. His hair was pulled into two, long, thick braids and the ends were wrapped with fur and two feathers were attached at the back of his head. His chest was bare and a light misting of sweat shimmered off his skin. My eyes slowly traveled down his taunt chest to his rippled, toned stomach. I felt my face heat when my eyes stopped at his low-slung breeches that rested right where his stomach muscles tapered down to almost a point. I half smiled at him and hoped my face had not gone red. "What happened to your shirt?

He cleared his throat and squatted down to be eye level with me. He kept his eyes downcast for a moment and when he turned his gaze up, my air caught in my throat.

"I tend to get hot when I dance, so I took it off. I ask you again, are you okay?"

I didn't honestly know how to answer him. Was he the reason I was feeling like this? I hadn't felt this skittish around a guy since I first started dating Charlie. I lowered my eyes and rested my chin on my folded arms. "I am not sure. I was dancing and having a good time, then one of the songs got to me."

"Did the words from the song bother you?"

"No, I didn't understand the words. It was." I paused and pinched the bridge of my nose trying to think of what I wanted to say. "It kind of put me in a weird place, if that makes any sense." I opened my eyes and looked at him again.

"Music can do that sometimes. It makes you feel things or remember things once long forgotten."

I knew what he was trying to say, but what I felt wasn't a memory or at least I didn't think it was.

"I saw you talking with Bridgett. Do you know her?" I watched his face for a moment, trying to read his reaction, but he showed nothing.

"Bridgett? Yes, we have known each other for a long time. She was a good friend to my mother. How do you know her?"

"Before we got here, we stopped at her shop. She read my cards and she. . ." I paused for a moment, why was I sharing all this with him? I looked at him again and a soft smile was staring back at me. "She had given me a message from my dad."

"Ah, yes she can sometimes give info that is a little hard to swallow."

"Oh, it's not that. It's just, well ever since then I have been seeing and feeling so, well not myself anymore. My whole day has been a mess of craziness ever since I met her. I'm just a bunch of nerves and I really don't like feeling this way."

"I'm sorry. Do you have a hard time dealing with your feelings when it comes to your father?"

I nodded my head, unsure if I would be able to speak when he brought up my dad.

"Was he the one to give you the scars?"

I instinctively raised my hand to the left side of my face. My fingertips, gliding over the shiny white lines that ran from the bridge of my nose to my top lip. "No, my father never laid a hand on me." I didn't elaborate on it further. It had been a long time since anyone had asked me about my scars. It had given me a false sense of security, pretending like I didn't have the evidence of a tragic event displayed across my face.

He cleared his throat. "Let me take you back. You look like you could use some rest." He stood and took a few steps back as I pushed against the tree with my back and stood up. I walked up to him and looked up at his tall form. He extended his arm in the direction to the dancing and I lead the way as we walked back to my friends. When we arrived back at the celebration I saw Lenora and her mom laughing and talking animatedly with some women. I walked up to them and Lenora's eyes raised when I approached with Walter.

"Hey girl, you okay?"

I nodded and we locked eyes for a moment and she smiled and turned back to the conversation she had been having with her mom. We had been friends long enough that in many circumstances we didn't have to use words to communicate. She knew that whatever I was going through would not get a hold of me. I was good at containing my emotions, so others didn't see it as weakness.

"Thanks for walking me back Walter."

"It was no trouble. Lenora, Kathy, enjoy the rest of your evening." He turned and disappeared into the crowd.

"You want to go?"

"No, I'm having fun, really. This evening has just been intense. I'll tell you all about it later."

I turned to see Mrs. Sanchez talking to an old woman. She turned toward me and smiled. "This woman has offered us a place to stay here. Tomorrow we can watch the horse races."

I looked at Lenora in disbelief. "Really?"

"Yeah we are going to stay with Stanly and his wife Momma Bear." She paused when she saw the expression on my face. "Yeah, I know. What a cliché name. But I guess it fits her, she is huge!"

I smiled and nudged Lenora. "I'm psyched about this. There are no cars or engine noises. Just peace and quiet."

I nodded my head and settled in next to my friend. We sat enjoying the dancing for a while longer and the feelings I had earlier no longer plagued me. As the night wore on, people started to slowly disperse. I looked at my watch and realized how quickly time had gone by. It was well after midnight and an ache in my lower back made me stretch and adjust how I was sitting.

"Hey, we are going to head back now. You ready?" I nodded to Lenora and we stood and followed a short, very round woman, whom I assumed was Momma Bear. We walked in silence digesting all the excitement from the day. I was a bit numb for the day's events and I was ready to crawl into bed and drift off to oblivion. We walked into a large tipi and we were shown where we were going to sleep. I looked around the spacious dwelling and took in all my surroundings.

"Oh I feel like I just stepped into one of my books, Mija. Come and feel the sleeping pallet."

I smiled at Mrs. Sanchez, her enthusiasm was contagious. Both her and Lenora were looking at their bedding and the items that were tucked neatly in the corners. I took my shoes off, tucked them under the foot of my sleeping pallet and crawled into my bed. I listened to the quiet chatting of my friend and her mother. I felt my body relax and soon I was drifting off to sleep, having a strange vivid dream of dancing Indians and a horse ride.

Chapter 4

I awoke to soft chatter and I slowly opened my eyes and saw Momma Bear and Mrs. Sanchez talking by the fire. I could smell freshly brewed coffee and I wondered what time it was.

"Oh good morning Mija, how did you sleep?"

I stretched my arms above my head and shook the sleep from my weary muscles.

"I slept like a rock, except for my crazy dreams." I heard a strange noise by my feet and looked up to see Lenora standing with a buffalo robe draped around her as she too stretched her muscles.

"I don't know about you guys, but I need to use the facilities, like pronto." She dodged over the other bed rolls, shoes and stumbled toward the exit.

"Hold up Lee, I'm coming with you. I grabbed my shoes and quickly shoved my feet into them and went after my friend without tying them.

"How did you sleep?" I looked at Lenora as she pulled her robe tighter around her. The early morning sun poured through the trees and I had to shade my eyes to see her. She turned toward me and the air was pulled from my chest. My knees buckled and I fell forward. Darkness engulfed me before I hit the ground.

I woke to a coolness on my forehead and I brought a shaky hand to my face. A warm hand pulled mine away and held it securely in theirs. I opened my eyes and a face began to focus in front of me. "Lenora, what the hell happened?"

"Hush little one, you are safe now."

I rubbed my eyes and looked at the face of an elderly man with white hair. "Where am I? Where is Lenora and Mrs. Sanchez?"

The old man did not answer me, but turned and spoke to someone in the shadows. My heart was racing and I scanned my surroundings. I was in a tipi, but the items inside did not look familiar to me. I turned back to the man. "Can you tell me what happened, why am I here?" My voice cracked, fear thick in my throat. My eyes followed his gaze and I saw Lenora, Mrs. Sanchez and Walter enter the tipi. I sighed and relief flooded my insides. I was helped to sit up and was surprised at how weak I was. Lenora wrapped her arms tightly around me and I was surprised by the sudden change in her demeanor. "Wow girl, what's that for?"

"I honestly thought you had a stroke or something. You scared the crap out of me." She slugged me in the arm and sat next to me with a thud.

"Can you please tell me what the hell happened?"

"Maybe I can shed some light on the situation."

My eyes opened wide as I recognized the cheery, high voice. I turned and saw Bridgett standing next to Walter and two other men I didn't recognize.

"Good Morning all! What a beautiful beginning to a glorious day, is it not?

I felt Lenora's hand on my arm and I shifted my eyes to see her close her eyes and shake her head. "I'm so, very sorry. But girl we didn't know what else to do. You wouldn't wake up."

I lowered my eyes and did a quick scan of my knees and elbows. I didn't feel like I had gotten hurt when I fell. I ran my fingers through my thick hair, searching my scalp for any bumps or swollen areas. When I realized I had no physical injuries I raised my eyes to Lenora.

"Saraphina, I understand you have had a rough couple of days. If I knew all of this would occur, I would have not done your reading." Bridgett walked toward me and was standing in front of me. Her hand was outstretched to me. "We have much to discuss, please come with me."

I looked back at Lenora and she nodded her head. I didn't understand why everyone was being so cryptic. I stood on wobbly legs and followed Bridgett out of the dwelling.

I stopped, once outside and looked around. The air was cold and I could see my breath in the darkness. I quickly turned to Lenora who had followed behind me. "What time is it? The sun isn't even up yet."

"It's 4 a.m. You have been out for two days."

"What? Are you frickin kidding me? Lenora, my God, why didn't you call an ambulance or something."

Lenora grabbed my arm and we stopped walking. "Do you know how scared we have been? We are in the middle of nowhere with no cell phones and suddenly you laps into some kind of coma. We are at these people's mercy, and I'm just grateful you aren't dead! How the hell would I explain that to your husband?"

I lowered my eyes and we begin walking again. I turned slightly to look at Lenora and can see beads of sweat on her brow line and her nostrils are flaring. It was evident she was upset, but at this moment I wasn't sure if it was at me or the situation we were in. "I'm sorry. It's that I'm so confused right now. I've been experiencing things I can't explain and to be honest, it scares the crap out of me." I didn't want to say it, let alone think it. The nagging, sick feeling in the back of my head. Was this how it started for my mom. Losing time and having weird, unexplained visions? It was then I noticed that Lenora's arm wasn't in a sling anymore. "Your arm, doesn't it hurt?"

Lenora shook her head. "No, the doctor, or Shaman gave me some tea that took the pain away. He also said it wasn't broken, just bruised badly. I'll be fine."

I forced a smile and we were escorted into another tipi. Inside it was a small fire in the center and reed mats were placed around the fire in a large circle.

"Please, sit down." Bridgett had sat and was pointing to a mat that was next to her. She sighed and rolled her eyes when I reluctantly took a small step toward her. "You will be fine Saraphina. You need to trust me."

I took a deep breath and finally sat. Lenora sat to my right and her mom sat next to her. The dwelling filled quickly with older men and I had a sinking feeling these were the elders Walter had spoken of earlier. My stomach was in knots and I twisted my fingers. I watched as everyone sat down and all eyes turned to Bridgett.

She sighed, closed her eyes for a moment and then stood, stepping in front of me. "These men are the elders of the Lakota village. They are here to witness your story." She paused and extended her arm towards the men sitting across from me. "I am here to help guide you on your journey."

What journey was she talking about? I did not want to do what she had planned and they could not force me to do it.

Bridgett sat in front of me and crossed her legs. Her posture was flawless as she sat erect and placed her hands on her knees. She smiled at me and tilted her head down so she could look at me over her wire rimmed glasses. "Okay, let's have some fun!"

My heart was beating so fast in my chest I felt like it was going to burst. My hands were sweating and my breathing quickened. What the hell did they get me into? Bridgett placed her hands palm up on her knees and pressed her middle finger with her thumb and began to hum.

Oh God, here we go again. Did I really agree to do this? The last time this happened it sucked everything out of me. I was left a shell of raw nerves. My eyes darted around and I stopped when I saw Walter Grey Sky. His eyes locked with mine and I felt an energy fill the dwelling. Whatever he had witnessed with me and the wolf had made him do this. He probably convinced Lenora and her mom that this had to be done. I was here because of him. He had brought Bridgett here and gathered these other men to see what? My fear dissipated as my anger grew and I focused on Walter.

"Oh my, the energy here has shifted. My dear can you please stop throwing daggers at Walter."

I pulled my gaze from Walter and looked at Bridgett. "How did you know?"

Her face was soft and she smiled. "My dear, I am an Empath. I can feel other people's emotions. Yours is screaming right now."

"Well I feel I have every right to be angry. I don't want to do this. I want to go home. Lenora, can't we just leave?" I paused as I choked on my words. "I can't go through that again." Tears were rolling down my face and I felt a hand on my arm.

"We still don't have a car yet. We have no mode of transportation and I can't imagine what you are going through right now. But if you saw and heard what my mom and I did." She paused and looked over to her mom. She took a deep breath and turned back to me. "Girl it was real. Wherever you went, I don't know. But you screamed like nothing I have ever heard before. You have all of my sympathy, but they said it will only get worse, the blackouts. Bridgett is gonna help guide you so we can figure out why this is happening and how we can stop it."

I turned to Bridgett. "What started this? Why suddenly is all of this happening to me? Did this start because I let you read my cards?"

Bridgett tilted her head to one side, a look of deep concentration etched on her face. "I believe it was part of it. Although I only connected you with your father, I believe it opened a doorway that allowed the veil between the worlds of time to be parted."

"I still don't understand what is going on."

"Your past life dear. We are all here to guide you back."

Was she serious? "You want to do a past life regression on me? Is this what you guys think is happening to me?" My heart was racing, and I fought to clear my head. These people thought I was having a past-life experience, and here I thought I was losing my shit and going crazy like my mother. Which of the two did I prefer?

Walter's voice replied to me. "We believe that you were once connected to White Wolf, whose spirit guide was the wolf. If you were linked to him in a past life, then you are associated with the Lakota people."

"What?!" My throat constricted and I folded in on myself. This is not happening, this is not real. My mind reeled from the thought of all of this. I did not have a past life, and I was not connected to anyone. I felt a hand on my back, then heard Lenora's voice.

"Saraphina, I don't know what to say that will make any of this make sense. I know I wouldn't believe it, if you told me what we are telling you. However, it's real. If there is anything you believe in, anything you would trust to be true. Know I would never lie to you."

I slowly sat up and looked into Lenora's green eyes. She was right, I did trust her. I took a deep breath and turned back to Bridgett. "Can you please tell me why you all believe that what I am experiencing is from a past life? What happened to me that makes you firmly believe I am not going crazy?" I didn't know if I really wanted to know the answer to my question, but I needed to know a few things.

Lenora leaned toward me and took my hand into hers. "The first time you blacked out you were talking in a language I couldn't understand. I honestly thought you were possessed and speaking in tongues." Her lip was trembling, and she caught it between her teeth and inhaled deeply through her nose. "It wasn't until Walter came to help that he said you were speaking in Lakota."

"It was a dialect I have not heard in a very long time. My Grandmother spoke in a similar way when I was a boy." Walter had stepped forward, looking at Bridgett before he continued. "It was then that we realized you were speaking about something from the past, and not in a time you were currently living." Bridgett smiled at Walter and nodded to him before she spoke.

"Words you used and how you described things, led us to believe you were in the past."

"Yeah, that and the fact you kept screaming 'Take me to MacIntyre Ranch'. That helped us narrow down the search." Lenora was rolling her eyes before grabbing my hand again. "We researched what you were describing and the only way you could know about these things, was if you had once lived it."

Bridgett smiled and reached for my hand. "When you traveled back, we believe you traveled to the moment of your original death. We were not able to figure out what happened or why, but it was very gruesome and a painful death."

My throat was dry and I struggled to swallow. What in God's name did they hear me say? I looked at Lenora. "What did you guys hear?"

Lenora looked from me to Bridgett. She lowered her eyes and the other woman began to speak. "It's not so much what you said, it's what you described was happening to you at the time. You were reliving your death, your soul was traumatized in a way that it attached itself to the soul that destroyed it." She cleared her throat and sighed briefly before speaking again. "No one has the right to abruptly halt someone's life before they live out their karma. I believe if we can find out who took your life in the past it will allow you to move forward in this life."

"Move forward? What do you mean, move forward with what?"

Bridgett looked at me like I should know the answer. "Don't you see that you're stuck? You go through the motions of your life, but you are not living. You are a shell of who you once were and who you can be again."

I turned to Lenora, she had known me my entire life. Not once had she mentioned anything like this to me. "Is this true? Do you think that I'm just a shell?"

She hesitantly nodded her head and I saw the emotions that ran across her face. "I know you think you are okay, but ever since your dad died, you haven't been the same. You go through the motions of living. You plan parties, hang out with friends and you laugh at jokes, but it's not you. Saraphina isn't there. I look into your eyes and I see a window of sadness and grief. I've tried to pull you back, to bring you into the light, but you just cower in that place. You stay disconnected."

I lowered my head and fought to find my voice. I tried so hard. Tried every single day to keep living and to move on. Would I always feel like this? "I didn't know." My voice cracked and I swallowed the tears that threatened to overtake me. "I didn't know you could see my pain so easily. I thought I hid it better."

"I don't understand why you felt you needed to hide it. I have gone through what you are going through. It's not something you can do on your own."

"I didn't have the strength Lenora. If I let my grief over come me, it would destroy me."

"It already has girl. You have built walls to keep your grief hidden, but those same walls have kept everyone that loves you out."

"I cry every day. Every single day after he died I have cried. I know that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, but I don't feel strong at all."

"That is bullshit! Those things that try to kill us makes us angry and sad. Strength comes from good things. Things like your family, friends and your work." Lenora grabbed my hand and held it tightly in hers. She placed her other hand over my heart. "The ones that love you are what keep you whole. Those are the things you must hold onto when you are broken."

Our eyes locked and I felt a warmth in my chest where her hand laid. I half smiled and nodded. "I trust you. If you think this will help, then I will agree to do it." I turned to Bridgett and spoke with more strength in my voice then I felt I had. "Okay, let's get this over with."

I was instructed to lay back and lay my head in Bridgett's lap. Lenora and her mom would be on either side of me as anchors to my present.

"Close your eyes and relax. I've centered myself and now I will be your guide. Focus on your breathing. Each time you exhale you will feel the release of stored up tension and anxiety. Visualize your muscles progressively relaxing. Begin with your face, jaw, neck and shoulders. That's it. Feel your body continue to relax. Now visualize bright white light slowly spread down your body. This will bring you deeper and deeper into a state of relaxation."

My mind was blank. I had no thoughts. I only listened to the sound of Bridgett's voice.

"I need you to think back. Release the walls you have built and go beyond them. Tell me what you see."

"I am in a bed. I can feel the sun on my skin." I could see the ceiling above me, but I couldn't sit up in the bed. This confused me and I felt my heart begin to race.

"You are safe and happy. Can you look around and tell me what else you see?"

"I see my mom." My voice broke. I had not seen her in over 15 years. "She is so beautiful. I don't remember her hair being so long. She is smiling and happy." I realize that I'm in a crib and my mom is picking me up.

"Okay, that is good. Now I need you to go back farther. Search your memories further, much further. There is a memory of someone hurting you and ending your life. I need you to find that life and go there. To the beginning when you were happy and safe."

My mother's face faded and I felt a tug in my chest. A pull in a direction that felt safe and whole.

"I can't see. It's dark and dusty. I feel like I'm in an enclosed space that is moving beneath me." I pause and wait for the familiar pull in my stomach. My vision is clearing and instead of snapshots of memories I feel myself there. I focus and remember my surroundings. "I'm in a covered wagon. I'm traveling in a covered wagon and I'm pregnant.

Chapter 5

Indian Territory

Early June 1801

The thick dust from the sun-scorched ground drifted up mercilessly into Kevin's eyes, as he sat coaxing his horses forward. He squinted his eyes and coughed as he breathed in some dust. His back ached and he was so tired. He and his wife had gotten up at dawn, hoping today would be the day they reached their destination. So far, it would be as endless as the others. Kevin looked back into the covered wagon to see his sleeping wife. Drops of sweat beaded her face and neck. She lay on her side clutching her rounded stomach. He turned around and his thoughts turned to all that had occurred during the past year. They had been married last fall and by the beginning of the year he had approached his wife about traveling west in the spring to find his family on his father's side. It was something he had planned to do on his own before he met Rebecca. He thought the plans would be abandoned, but she encouraged him to follow his dream. With most of their worldly items sold, they packed a covered wagon with what was left and headed West. It was what he wanted to do and his wonderful wife supported his decision. He was about four years old when his father died and his mother returned to her father back East. Kevin had few memories of his father, but remembered them as wonderful and happy times. Growing up with his grandfather was tough. He was very strict and not in any of his memories could he ever remember hearing his grandfather say a kind word to him or his sister. When he became of age he spoke with his mother about his father's side of the family and expressed his wish to seek them out and visit with them. His mother had been supportive, yet worried. It had been close to 20 years since she left and had no idea if they even lived in the same area.

Now as they continued to travel west, with no sign of his destination in site, he had a feeling he had made a mistake. Indian Territory was not far off and the welfare of his wife and unborn child was his first concern. He would have to make a decision soon as to if they should continue or turn back.

Hours ticked by and he searched the horizon for any sign of relief from the unrelenting sun. He wished he knew how harsh and unforgiving this land could be, before he traveled out here with his pregnant wife. One moment they were traveling through lush, green prairie grass. The next moment the ground was dry, cracked and hard as a rock with no trees in site. Just recently he had passed the dried up bones of some large animal and he had a frightening feeling he might be condemning his wife and unborn child to an early death. Kevin grabbed his hat and lifted it off his head. He scanned the horizon one more time searching for a place to stop and rest the horses. Relief flooded through him as he saw in the distance a cluster of trees that began to expand out as far as the eye could see. Kevin said a silent prayer and directed his horses toward it. He half turned to his wife as he spoke. "Rebecca, I've found a place for us to stop."

Rebecca breathed a sigh of relief. The closeness of the covered wagon was making her feel claustrophobic and in her condition lying in one spot for too long was giving her leg cramps. She knew Kevin wanted her to lie down, but the stale air inside was making her nauseated. Maybe this time he would allow her to sit up front with him so she could breathe fresh air and stretch her legs. The wagon slowed and then stopped and Rebecca carefully sat up and moved to the back where she heard Kevin jump from his seat and walk toward her.

Kevin set his eyes on his wife and smiled. Every time he saw her smile, run her fingers through her hair or snuggle close to him at night his stomach did flips. Her waist-length auburn hair was pulled loosely back into a bun and little wisps of curls escaped and hung softly around her face. Her cream colored skin seemed to glow against her emerald colored dress. If it wasn't so damn hot out he might have taken her in his arms and make passionate love to his wife. He watched her wipe beads of sweat from her forehead and warmth began to grow in his loins. Hell it wasn't that hot out, was it?

"Kevin, are you planning on staring at me all day or are you going to help me down?"

Kevin smiled, reached for his wife's hands and held them tightly as he helped her down. "How hot is too hot to make love?"

Rebecca looked at her husband in disbelief. "I refuse to even acknowledge that question with an answer!"

Kevin wrapped his arm lovingly around his wife and escorted her to a shaded area. "Well, I'm just wondering for future reference. Is there anything wrong with me wanting to make love with my beautiful wife?"

Rebecca huffed and elbowed her husband in the ribs. "How you can possibly think I look beautiful at a time like this is beyond me? However, if I'm sweating while sitting still, it is too hot for any type of relations!"

Kevin smiled and walked with Rebecca as he pointed out a shaded area for her to sit and rest. He helped her sit down and her face puckered up in obvious pain. "Are you okay? Is it the baby?"

"My back is just bothering me a bit. Must be the way the baby is laying, or because I've been lying down too long. I'll be fine in a few minutes."

"Has it been bothering you for long?"

"I would say the past few hours the pain comes and goes. It seems to be getting a little worse, but now that I'm out of that wagon I should be fine."

"Becca, are you sure you're okay? You're not sorry you came with me are you?"

"No, I'm not sorry I came with you. I will be fine. My place is with you Kevin, not back in Kentucky waiting for you to send for me. I look forward to meeting your father's side of the family. Do you remember much of any of them?"

"I was so young when my father died and my mother went back to live with my Grandfather. There are a few things I remember, but not a whole lot. It was such a long time ago." Kevin pulled off his hat and wiped his face with the rag he pulled from his back pocket. He shoved it back and ran his finger through his black wavy hair before placing his hat back on. He leaned down and gently caressed his wife's cheek and then placed a kiss on her forehead. "Are you hungry at all? It has been a few hours since we last ate."

Rebecca folded her sleeves up in an attempt to cool herself. "No, I'm fine. I do want to clean off some of this trail dust and change into something cooler. Would you mind getting me my muslin shirt and brown calico skirt?" She smiled sweetly to her husband as he turned back toward the wagon. She knew he wouldn't usually do things like this for her, but since her condition limited her mobility, Kevin helped out as much as he could.

Kevin walked over to the wagon to get her clothes and handed them to her when he returned. "I'm gonna scout the area out before I undo the horses." Kevin walked around the area and looked for any trace of things that might pose a threat. When nothing appeared threatening he began to walk back to their campsite. Fear gripped his insides when a scream echoed through the hot air. Kevin's blood ran cold as he ran toward his wife and saw Rebecca crumpled on the ground and not moving. Oh dear God, Kevin thought to himself. "Rebecca, please tell me you are all right." He gently pulled her up to him and sighed when a small moan escaped her lips.

"The baby, its coming."

"Are you sure? I thought you still had a few weeks left before the baby was due."

"I guess the back pain I am having isn't from being cramped in that blasted wagon. My water just broke."

Kevin saw the pain on Rebecca's face and knew due date or not, this baby was coming. He moved quickly to help his wife up and make her comfortable. He knew the night ahead would be long and tiring for his young wife. "I wish we could have made it to my father's family, Becca. I don't want you to have this baby outside in the middle of nowhere."

Rebecca smiled and pulled her husband's hand to her lips. "Kevin, this is a beautiful place to have our child. Look at the lush land we are blessed to be surrounded by. As long as you are with me, anyplace is perfect to have our baby."

Kevin kissed his wife and bathed her brow as the day progressed into late afternoon as each contraction increased with intensity. He felt tears in his eyes when he thought of all she was going through to have this baby. "I love you Rebecca. So much that it hurts me to see what you are going through. Why did I have to ask for children?"

Rebecca smiled slightly and said through slow deep breaths. "Kevin, I want this baby just as much as you do. I would rather go through this pain for a short while, then a lifetime without children. Please never regret this baby we created."

Kevin leaned over and kissed his wife. "I love you. I just cannot bear to see you in any pain. I can handle pain myself, but it's your pain that tears at my heart." He stared into her deep brown eyes and saw strength that he could never possess. He knew it was getting close to dusk and wanted to make sure he had what he needed in case the baby came in the night. He walked over to the wagon and pulled the flap back. He pulled off his hat and peered inside waiting for his eyes to adjust before climbing in. He opened Rebecca's trunk and began pulling out blankets and clothes when a noise caused him to turn. Kevin's heart seemed to stop when he saw an Indian coming at him from the dim light of the wagon. His first instinct was to run, but he didn't. He tried to remain calm as he slowly stood and raised his hands, showing he posed no threat. "I'm not here to fight you. My wife is having a baby and I need to get back to her. Can you understand me?" Kevin looked at the boy who appeared to be no more than fourteen or fifteen years of age. Kevin knew he had the advantage of height and strength over the boy however, it wasn't what he was worried about. He kept his eyes on the fierce looking tomahawk that the boy had clutched in his hand. They stood staring at each other unmoving for several moments until Kevin heard Rebecca cry out for him. He quickly turned and ran from the wagon. He heard a soft whirring sound before pain exploded in his head and all went black.

Blue Feather smiled down at the pale face he had just killed. His father would be proud of him this day. He pulled his tomahawk from the white man's head and kicked him over. The look of surprise was still etched on his face. Blue Feather laughed and proudly held up his blood soaked weapon to his brother. "My first coup, White Wolf. Father will be proud of my deed."

A tall, stern looking man walked out of the wooded area when he saw the pale face fall to the ground. White Wolf looked at his younger brother in disgust. "You killed a man who had no weapon and was no threat to you. What kind of coup is that?"

Two more men dressed in only breechcloths approached Blue Feather and looked at the pale face their cousin had just killed. They were not as tall as White Wolf but, were just as lean. Kicking Elk and Running Wolf stood quietly listening to their cousin's harsh words to Blue Feather. They dare not interfere, knowing it did not concern them. White Wolf was the leader of this hunting party and made all the decisions regarding what they did. Kicking Elk and his brother, Running Wolf began to look over the white man's horses, when a woman's cry echoed through the air. The foursome looked at each other in surprise.

"I thought you said the man was alone Blue Feather?" White Wolf looked angrily at his brother. "You had only one thing to do during this hunting party. You had to find out how many people were at this campsite. You made two mistakes today Blue Feather. Two mistakes too many." White Wolf turned from his brother and walked with his cousins to find the source of the cry.

The three men split up and as White Wolf headed toward the river he spotted a woman laying on her side. Unsure of what to do, he looked around for his cousins. When Kicking Elk approached him he nodded his head toward the woman. "I think she is about to give birth."

Kicking Elk looked at the woman and shook his head. "I am not going over there. It is not custom for a man to be present during the birth of a child. Blue Feather killed the white man, he should be the one to help her."

White Wolf shook his head. "The way he has been doing things he will only cause more problems. I am the leader of this party and it is my duty to help." He walked away from Kicking Elk and cautiously knelt down next to the woman. It had been several summers since he had spoken the white man's tongue. He hoped he still knew how to speak it. "Woman, no yell. I help."

Rebecca turned at the strange voice and stared wide-eyed at the Indian next to her. A scream from deep within her erupted and pierced through the air. "Kevin!" Her heart was pounding in her ears and she couldn't do anything, but scream. Suddenly her cries were cut off when a contraction tightened her stomach so much she pulled her legs up.

"Woman no yell. I here to help. Man is dead."

Rebecca waited for her contraction to subside and took a few deep breaths before she spoke. "What do you mean dead?"

White Wolf shook his head. "My brother Blue Feather killed man. I will keep safe." He was hoping the woman understood enough of what he was saying. Speaking English was not one of his assets.

Rebecca was numb at the response from the fierce looking Indian. How could he be dead? He was right next to her only a moment ago. "Dead? You say he's dead?" She hoped this man was wrong. She didn't know what to do if something happened to Kevin. She looked at the Indian and his appearance was quite frightening to her. He was so dark and didn't wear much clothing.

White Wolf called for Kicking Elk to bring him his horse with the travois attached to it. He and Kicking Elk pulled the few elk they had killed off and tied them to the white man's horses. He looked down at the white woman and reached out to her.

Rebecca reluctantly took the Indian's outstretched hand and stood with some difficulty. She was helped toward a sled that was attached to a horse that was only a few feet away. It was then that she noticed three more Indians. Good lord what was happening here? Did they kill Kevin to take her and her baby captive? She prayed to God that this was only a bad dream.

Kicking Elk watched White Wolf help the white woman toward their travois and walked up to him. "We cannot take this woman with us to the village, White Wolf. You know how your father would react. Bringing the enemy into our village is not a well thought plan. Her presence will only bring white soldiers."

White Wolf listened to his cousin and then turned to the white woman. "Why have you come? Are there more of you?"

Rebecca looked at the tall Indian and then at the other three. "My husband and I came alone. We were traveling west to visit my husband's family. I'm not sure how much farther we had to travel, but I'd much rather go there instead of with you."

White Wolf nodded and turned back to Kicking Elk. "I believe they are lost. No one would come this far into The People's land and expect to find a white settlement. This woman will die out her on her own. She needs our help to have her child. They are in this trouble because of my brother. It is my responsibility to amend for his actions."

Kicking Elk nodded his head. He might not agree with what White Wolf did, but as leader of the hunting party his words were not to be challenged.

Blue Feather looked at White Wolf and defiantly opposed him. "The Pale Face is our enemy. Every man, woman and child should be stopped. If we welcome them now they will only take advantage of our kindness later. I will not help the white woman."

White Wolf turned angry eyes to his brother as he helped the white woman to sit. "You did not seem too worried about the trapper that came to our village last fall. Did you not trade a buffalo robe for tobacco and that metal knife you prize so much?" White Wolf glared at his brother before he continued. "I should not be the one to take care of this woman and child. You were the one who killed her husband. If I knew you to be a man of his word, I would trust you to do this. Until that time comes the woman and her child will be my responsibility. You must learn to be a warrior, not expect to be one because you have reached the right age. We will discuss this at council. Leave me." White Wolf watched his brother walk toward their horses. What his brother had done was a shameful act and should be punished. His brother had killed a man that was no threat to him. Worst of all he had disobeyed and gone against the law of a hunting party. Each man depended on one another in a raid. The lead warrior made the rules and all had to obey. Going against his word could result in someone getting hurt or killed. Punishment was very severe, sometimes even death. How could he ignore what his brother did?

"I think when you have a calm head you should talk to your brother." Kicking Elk had tied the last deer onto the horses and gave his cousin a stern look. "I understand what he did was wrong, and he should know better. It however, does not excuse you for speaking to him with such anger."

White Wolf looked down at the white woman who seemed to be dosing and raised his eyes to the sky. Kicking Elk was right. He was a seasoned warrior and knew he must keep his emotions in check. When fighting hand on hand combat with their enemies showing one's emotions could be deadly. He took a deep breath and walked off toward his brother. Blue Feather was rubbing down his horse as he approached. "I came to apologize."

Blue Feather turned to face his brother and hurt was evident on his face. "Have you not said enough to me?" Blue Feather lowered his head and thumbed the bone handle of his metal knife. "I only think that allowing the white woman to our village would bring soldiers. You never hear of them coming and killing anyone when a trapper trades with us. I feel her presence will only cause death to our people."

White Wolf nodded his head and cleared his throat. His brother was right to some degree, but still had a lot to learn. "You went off on your own during a hunting party. What you did was very serious and can result in a severe punishment, Blue Feather. I know I do not need to explain the severity of your actions." White Wolf took a deep breath and put his hand on his brother's shoulder. He hoped he could take some of the tension away with a kind gesture. "Blue Feather, each man depends on one another when hunting, in a raid or at war. You have gone through warrior training and sought a vision. If you do things like this, I feel you are not ready to perform in the sun dance." White Wolf dropped his arm when his brother shrugged away. "I do understand your concern with the white woman coming to our village, but she is not going to stay. I only want to help her with the delivery of her child and make sure she can make the journey safely back to her people." When his brother kept silent he continued. "She is only a woman. Nothing will happen like it did with our mother, I can promise you that." He paused a moment and began to speak again. "You do understand that she would not have to be in our village if you did not kill her husband. I will have to discuss this issue with the elders and if they believe you should be punished as the law states, you will never be an honored warrior. I am sorry Blue Feather, but it is what must be done."

Blue Feather lowered his head as he spoke to White Wolf. "I will do as the council wishes, but if death comes to our people because of this white woman, it is you that must carry that burden brother." He pulled at his horse's reigns and walked away.

White Wolf shook his head, turned and walked back to his cousin's and the woman. "Looks like we are ready to ride. Everyone ready?" He looked down at the white woman and pain was evident on her face. He leaned down to her and was surprised when she grabbed his hand. "Do you have pain?"

Rebecca almost laughed at his question. "Am I in pain? Am I in pain? What do you think?" She squeezed his hand as another contraction tightened across her stomach. She waited for the contraction to pass before looking at the Indian with tears in her eyes. "Let me see him, please. I need to say good-bye." Rebecca let go of his hand and her back arched up with a convulsion from a prolonged contraction. Tears rolled down her face at the fear of having this baby alone.

"We must travel quickly. The child will not wait. Do not worry, you are safe. I give you my word, no harm will come to you or child."

Rebecca took a deep breath as she looked at the Indian. "I don't want to do this alone. I want my husband." Tears rolled down her face and she began to sob.

"Hush little one. You will not be alone, I promise you." White Wolf rested his hand gently on the woman's shoulder. He waited as she relaxed a bit before motioning to Kicking Elk.

Kicking Elk got off his horse and walked over to his cousin. "What is wrong?"

"Have Running Wolf and my brother stay behind to wrap up the white man. Bring him back to the village and bury him there. I believe this would be a kind gesture the woman would understand that the man's death was not our intention."

"I think that is a good idea. I will speak with Running Wolf and Blue Feather now." Kicking Elk looked down at the white woman as she tightened up from another contraction. She looked so frail and tiny, that he couldn't understand how she would birth a healthy child. He shook his head and walked toward his brother.

White Wolf turned back to the white woman and watched her face contort in pain and tears rolled down her face. Memories of how his wife died giving birth flashed before his eyes and his voice softened. "What is your name little one?"

Rebecca's eyes were closed from the pain that was stretching across her stomach and down her sides. When she heard the Indian speak to her she opened them. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

White Wolf smiled and held her hand as he wiped her wet hair away from her face. "Your name. What is name?"

"Rebecca Donnelly, but you can call me Becca."

He smiled at her and nodded his head. "Becca, you safe with White Wolf."

Rebecca nodded her head and half smiled. White Wolf, that was an interesting name. She was so thankful he could speak English, although it was a bit choppy, she understood him well enough. She would have to ask him later how he came to learn it. In a short time the sled gave a lurch and began to slide smoothly across the hard, dry earth. The trip to the Indian village was much shorter than Rebecca had expected. As soon as they began to enter the camp, everyone seemed to stop what they were doing and stare. She tried to take her mind off her steady contractions by looking around at the village. There were many people of various ages moving about. Tipi's seemed to stretch out across the horizon as far as the eye could see. Many of the small children she saw ran around naked or had small piece of leather covering them. The women wore beautiful decorated, doeskin dresses. They looked incredibly soft and she wondered how comfortable they were to wear. Slowly the sled came to a halt and White Wolf walked over to Rebecca. He was extremely gentle as he carefully helped her to stand. Rebecca's contractions were becoming stronger and closer together. The short walk to the tipi took several minutes, because she had to stop several times.

Once inside Rebecca was allowed to sit on some soft furs. She watched as White Wolf left and she grunted through another contraction. "This is crazy. Here I am in the middle of nowhere having my baby in a tipi." Rebecca slowly laid on her side and closed her eyes. She wanted this baby to come already, but knew she still had some time to wait. She couldn't believe all that had happened in just a short time. How could Kevin be dead? Another contraction began and she cried out as it intensified and a throbbing sensation rippled through her pelvis. She looked up and saw three women were standing at the entrance of the dwelling.

Fallen Star looked at her daughter Smiling Woman and nodded her head. "It is what I feared. This woman is ready to push her child out and we do not have the birth pit ready." The older woman quickly rushed to the white woman and talked softly to her. "Hush little one, this pain is good pain. Do not cry for this is a gift from Wanka Tanka that lets us know we are bringing forth another life."

Smiling Woman hurried to ready the birth pit as her friend Morning Sun helped get the white woman undressed. She watched as the white woman curled over in pain as each contraction occurred. She shook her head and clucked her tongue in disapproval. White people did things so strangely compared to the Lakota.

Rebecca could not understand the women's language, but knew they all were trying to help. They carefully helped her remove her clothes leaving her in her muslin shift. She was helped up onto her knees and she was shown by one of the woman that they wanted her to squat over a small pit lined with furs. "No, I don't want to move. Just let me lie down. The baby will come out this way. You'll see." A hard contraction crept up and Rebecca bent over and screamed. She felt burning between her legs as her body felt like it was splitting apart. Two women spoke sternly toward her and pulled her over to the pit. She soon found herself squatting over the pit screaming as she pushed with all her strength to deliver her baby.

White Wolf was walking past the birthing lodge to his father's dwelling when he heard the white woman scream out. In all his years he had never heard any woman in his village cry out during childbirth. He shook his head at her show of weakness and continued on his way.

When White Wolf entered his father's dwelling he knew his father had already heard about the white woman he had brought into camp. He tied the flap shut, indicating they wanted no visitors and sat across from his father. His father, Brave Elk, was a lean man who had blue-black hair with only a few grays to show his age. His eyes were stern and always showed his pride and strength as a warrior.

"You are a smart man White Wolf. I know you do not need me to tell you I am not happy with what you have brought to our village. This woman will bring soldiers and death to our village. She needs to go back!"

"The white woman and her husband were lost when we came across them. The woman and the child are no threat to us. I would not have brought her here if Blue Feather had not killed her husband."

Brave Elk nodded, but knew that the pale face soldiers would eventually come. He knew all too well of the destruction pale faces bring. Maybe his son needed to be reminded and began to retell the story of his long time friend Strong Bear, and his white wife. "Many winters have passed since she has been taken. He has not mentioned her name since that day, but you can see the sadness in his eyes. They were married for several summers and even had a child together. When the pale face soldiers came for her, she had fought them with more vengeance then some warriors possess. However, in the end she and the child were killed along with over a hundred of our people. Till this day, Strong Bear is a bitter man with a broken spirit."

White Wolf understood what his father was telling him, but he wasn't going to marry this woman. "Father I understand your concern, but I am only helping her out until she can travel back home. I feel this kind of gesture we will do for this woman will work in our favor with the whites. Although I have the right as leader of the hunting party to claim the woman as mine, I do not want her. I do not think I could ever travel down that path again. After losing my wife and son, I do not feel my heart can open again for love."

Brave Elk nodded his head, but also knew that a sad heart sometimes finds comfort in the arms of another who has experienced the same loss. He looked at his son sternly as he spoke. "Never trust the words of the forked-tongue whites. They speak like a snake that crawls on its belly. They say one thing, but do another. It will only be a matter of time before the whites invade our land and leave nothing for the Lakotas'!"

"I understand father. When the woman is well enough to travel I will take her back to her people."

"Good. Now what is it that occurred during your hunting trip that has you concerned?"

White Wolf took a deep breath and began to explain what had happened with his brother, Blue Feather. When he finished he looked at his father and the look of disappointment was evident on his face and rage flashed in his eyes. "You are telling me that you did not want the palefaces harmed and Blue Feather went off on his own and did it anyways?"

"Yes Atku, father." White Wolf watched his father clench his fists and breathe heavily.

"White Wolf, I think it best that you leave now." Brave Elk stood and walked to the back of his tipi.

White Wolf nodded, turned and left his father's dwelling. Once outside he breathed in the cool evening air. It would be nearly a month before the white woman would be allowed to leave the birthing lodge. He however, wanted to know how she was doing. It was fairly common for a woman to die during childbirth and her being white was no exception. He walked to the dwelling and saw Morning Sun walk out. "Hello Morning Sun, how is the white woman doing?"

Morning Sun pushed her thick black braids onto her back and looked up to White Wolf. "She is not doing so well I'm afraid. Her baby was very big and she is still bleeding from the delivery. I was actually going to get the Medicine Man to seek some help."

White Wolf listened to the soft moaning coming from inside and asked about the baby.

"I have never seen a white baby before this one, but what a fine baby he is. He is with Fallen Star and her daughter Smiling Woman if you want to see him. They thought it best that they keep him away from his mother in case she passes. We would not want her spirit to try and take him with her."

White Wolf nodded his head and stepped aside so Morning Sun could get the Medicine Man. "Keep me informed on any changes, I will be in my tipi if you need anything." He watched her leave and walked to his own dwelling.

Rebecca drifted in and out of exhausted sleep and was barely aware of her surroundings. A warm, sweet liquid was poured into her mouth as she heard soft singing above her. Slowly her body became numb and she smiled as the pain began to lesson. She relaxed and listened to the singing as it began to lull her to sleep.

"Becca, Becca, open your eyes sweetheart."

Rebecca was groggy and didn't want to open her eyes. "Give me a few more minutes, won't you."

"Becca I need you to open your eyes. I don't have much time."

Rebecca slowly rubbed her eyes and opened them. Kevin was sitting next to her smiling. It took her a few minutes to realize that he wasn't supposed to be there. "Kevin. Why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be dead?" She saw sadness on his face and she reached for him.

"No, it's okay. You are right, I'm not supposed to be here, but I had to see our baby. Oh Becca, he's beautiful. I'm so proud of you."

Rebecca brought a trembling hand to her face. "Kevin, I don't want to live without you. How will I raise our baby alone?"

Kevin took his wife's hand and placed a soft kiss on it. "I know you don't understand this or why these things have happened but, this is what should be. You were meant to be here Becca, I was not."

"Here? Here? Where is here Kevin?"

"Shhh. It will make sense in time. Keep our son close to you and give him all the love you possess. You will be happy again, I promise." Kevin kissed her gently on the forehead and stood.

"Kevin, don't go."

"I must go. It is time."

"Will I see you again?"

"Yes, when you look at our son. I'm sorry I couldn't be with you longer Becca. My destiny was to bring you here."

Rebecca looked at Kevin and tears rolled down her face. "Destiny? What destiny are you talking about Kevin? I thought I was to be with you always and now you are telling me something different."

"We all are born with a specific purpose in life. I have fulfilled mine. You will soon discover your purpose, my love. You are destined for more Rebecca, I'm so sorry I will not be a part of it."

"Don't go Kevin, please. Stay with me until I fall asleep, please." Her eyes grew heavy and she struggled to keep her eyes on Kevin.

"I will stay for just a little while. I love you Becca, forever."

Kevin's face seemed to fade a bit as she closed her eyes and drifted into slumber.

Fallen Star and Smiling Woman watched the Medicine Man, Shadow Dreamer as he chanted over the delirious white woman. He had diligently prayed over the woman the past several days and they wanted to help him out as much as they could. They placed the herbs he requested next to the fire and then quickly left. They did not want to disrupt his healing of the woman. They would go back to Morning Sun's dwelling and pray for her to heal quickly.

Shadow Dreamer continued to chant to the spirits that held the white woman captive. He prayed over her and watched her as she fought with death that tried to claim her soul. He saw strength in her that not many people possessed. She spoke in her own tongue to an unseen force. A chill filled the once warm dwelling and Shadow Dreamer knew that spirits were present. Sweat beaded on the woman's face and he watched as tears rolled from her closed eyes. He lit some braided sweet grass and pleaded with the spirit of death to leave the woman. Time seemed to move slowly as he prayed and chanted for the release of the white woman's spirit. Finally, a sigh escaped her lips and warmth began to fill the dwelling once again. He smiled and gave thanks to the Great Spirit for the strength he was given to help this woman. He collected his things and walked out of the tipi. Outside he saw Falling Star. "Let the woman sleep. She will no longer be burdened by the spirits of the dead."

Rebecca awoke to heaviness on her chest. She slowly opened her eyes and took a few minutes to remember where she was. In a flash everything flooded her mind. She had a son and her body was telling her that it was time to feed him. A son? Was she so sure she had a son? Just because she had a dream, did it mean that she had one? She heard a soft clicking sound and rustling and then she noticed an older woman walking in. She knelt down next to Rebecca and she gently pushed on her stomach as she softly spoke to her. Rebecca couldn't understand the woman, but knew she was there to help her. She watched the woman and took notice of her beautiful beaded dress and dark complexion. Her hair was pulled away from her face in one thick braid that reached her waist. Her tiny frame showed how muscular her arms and legs were and knew this woman was accustomed to hard work. Her dark brown eyes showed kindness and Rebecca instantly felt safe with this woman. She wished she could ask her how long she had been asleep. From the soreness of her chest she knew that her milk had come in and the only way to relieve the pain was to nurse.

A few moments later the woman stood and left. She returned moments later carrying a bundle in her arms. She said a few words and gently lowered the bundle into Rebecca's arms. She looked down and was astonished to see her baby. "Oh my." Tears formed in her eyes and she was helped to sit up. Rebecca winced at the pain she still felt, but was too amazed at the life that was in her arms. The older woman helped her unlace the tunic she was wearing and she cradled her baby against her bare chest. Rebecca smiled at the warmth her son radiated against her. Everything about him was foreign and strange to her, yet she found such comfort with him in her arms. She slowly unwrapped the soft woven blanket and looked down at her son. She smiled as she counted his fingers and toes, placing kisses on each one. "Hi there little one. I'm your momma." She gently rubbed her check against his soft downy head. "I now understand love at first sight." She was in awe of this tiny, perfect person. She watched him root around searching for her nipple. She carefully moved her left arm, trying to cradle his head at the same time as adjusting her son's head so he could nurse. "No one gives instructions on how do to this, now do they."

She felt a warm hand on her bare shoulder and looked up to the older woman for a minute. She spoke softly to her in a strange tongue, but Rebecca understood the woman was helping her. After a few adjustments she was able to bring her nipple to her son's eager mouth. He latched on with vigor and she sighed as relief was felt in her breast. She felt cramping in her stomach that seemed to coincide with the pulling at her breast. Again the woman spoke and a soft smile formed on her face. She patted her shoulder and gently touched the tiny head of her son.

Rebecca looked back at her son and began to touch and look at each tiny part of his body. She was enjoying herself so much she hadn't realized that the woman who brought him in had left. "You are so beautiful. I don't think I have ever seen a baby so precious before."

She sighed as she looked over to the spot where Kevin had sat in her dream. "He is truly your son Kevin. Thank you so much for this wonderful gift." In an odd way she felt as if she had actually talked with her husband. She wasn't as sad as she thought she would be with his absence. "I guess my talk with your daddy made me realize that he didn't choose what happened to him." She kissed her son and gently laid him down in a shallow basket that was near her. She carefully lay back down and realized how tired she still was from giving birth. It seemed every muscle in her body was sore and thought if she could sleep a little longer all would be better. She rolled onto her side and stared at her son for as long she could. Soon her lids were too heavy to keep open and she drifted off to sleep.

Morning Sun came into the birthing lodge and saw the white woman was sleeping. The child had been fed and it wouldn't be long before she could leave the birthing lodge and begin her life here.

Chapter 6

Rebecca sat feeding her son and softly hummed as she watched him. He was so perfect in every way, why was she the only one to enjoy him? During her stay several women had come and gone, and many of them doted on her son. Some of the women brought in gifts of clothing, food and other items. As day passed into night and again into day there was always at least one woman in the tipi with her. She didn't realize how many women had come to visit, but got the idea that a new baby was a wonderful event in the village. Before she knew it, a month had gone by. She didn't know how it went by so quickly when the days seemed to linger on and she was so lonely without Kevin. Never would she have imagined that losing her husband would be so exhausting. Her nights were spent awake, wondering on how different her life would have been if Kevin had lived. During the days she tried to keep herself occupied with her son, but there were times when all she could do was think of Kevin. Losing him made her feel like she would never feel whole again. "I can still remember when your heart stopped beating, and mine continued." Her grief came in waves. Some days she was fine and she felt she was moving forward, then a memory or thought of Kevin would fill her and the pain was so intense and strong she felt as if she would choke on it.

Rebecca looked up when she heard humming and saw the younger Indian woman that had helped her with the birth. Every time Rebecca looked at the woman, she was smiling and humming.

Smiling Woman smiled at the white woman and continued to ready the birthing lodge for Running Wolf's wife's arrival. The white woman was very young and all the women assumed the child she would deliver would be tiny. They were all very surprised at the large son the white woman had. He was by far the largest baby she had even seen born. Maybe whites had bigger babies, but it amazed her that she had pushed the child out without too much difficulty. Other than the fact she bled a lot after the birth both the woman and child were healthy. She looked over at the baby and clucked her tongue. He was the same size as Basket Woman's son, who was born two moons ago.

Rebecca watched the younger woman move things around the dwelling and was unsure how safe she and her son were. As of yet they had treated her with nothing but kindness so she wasn't too worried. Just as the younger woman helped Rebecca gather her gifts together another woman was brought in to give birth. She looked very young, about fifteen and her big eyes appeared frightened at the upcoming event that was going to occur.

Rebecca smiled to the girl. "Good luck with your delivery. I hope it goes smoothly." She then followed the younger Indian woman out into the bright afternoon sun. It had been over a month since she had stepped outside. She looked around to get her bearings of where she was. The dwelling she emerged from was set apart from the other tipis. They walked towards the center of the village and she could see the tipis were arranged in a large semicircle. Large trees surrounded the vicinity of the village and they passed a worn, dirt pathway on the left. There was another pathway that was not as worn they turned right onto. Tall, prairie grass was on either side, along with smaller trees and bushes clustered around the edge. The pathway opened onto a small clearing by the river that ran next to the village. Rebecca felt she was healing well and the women were so kind and gentle to her and her son. She hadn't seen the Indian man that found her since the first day she was here. She looked around and wondered if she would see him anytime soon. She wanted to thank him for his kindness during her ordeal. She followed the woman until they came to the edge of the river. She smiled kindly to her and carefully took her son from her arms and pointed to the river.

Morning Sun waved to Fallen Star and Smiling woman as the other two women approached the river. She watched the white woman cautiously look around as she slowly begin to undress. She knew what the white woman was going through. It wasn't that long ago that she too was new to this camp. A raiding party had taken her from her people, the Crow many summers ago. At first, she hated the Lakota for what they had done. The Crow and Lakota are natural enemies, and she tried several times to escape her capture. However, the man who claimed her as his own was very nice to her. After a while she began to care for him and they were later married. It was a little easier for her then for the white woman. The roles of women do not change from tribe to tribe. She wasn't sure of what kind of things a white woman did, but she would try to help her as much as possible.

Rebecca saw two other women approach the river, but didn't need much encouragement to quickly strip her clothes and walk to the water's edge. There was a small bend in the river that was surrounded by tall grass that gave the area a nice secluded spot to wash. Rebecca stepped into the slow moving river and the cool water gave her chills. With a deep breath she jumped into the water and allowed the cool water to cover her. She surfaced and wiped the water from her eyes. She looked at the shore to see the woman holding her son smiling as she shook her head. She said something to Rebecca, but she just shrugged her shoulders and grabbed a fistful of sand and began to scrub her arms and chest. "I can't believe I have not properly washed in a month! I must stink to high heaven." She continued to scrub her skin and did her best to rinse trail dust, sweat and grime from her hair. "What I would do to have my lavender soap. Maybe they brought our wagon and I can ask to get some of my clothes and personal items." Rebecca sat in the water and pulled her knees to her chest. From where she was sitting the water covered her to her shoulders. She enjoyed the quiet solitude that surrounded her and smiled at the beauty of trees and mountains.

It wasn't long after she finished that the young woman waved her out of the relaxing water where she handed Rebecca a woven blanket that she used to dry with. She then put on a soft leather dress and Rebecca leaned over trying to finger comb her long hair. She felt a hand on hers and the woman encouraged Rebeca to sit on the blanket. Her son was sleeping soundly next to her and Rebecca smiled at him. The woman made quick work of Rebecca's hair and it wasn't long before her hair was detangled and braided in two long braids. The woman spoke and Rebecca stood, picked up her son and followed the woman back toward the village. They walked through the camp and stopped at a grand tipi that was beautifully painted. Rebecca stood in awe of the magnificent sight before her. She turned to the woman and saw a large smile on her face as she pointed to the tipi. "Did you paint this?"

The woman chatted to Rebecca, obviously pleased of her handiwork. She watched as the woman's arms fanned out as she appeared to explain the meaning behind the paintings. Soon the entrance flap opened and the older woman that was present during her son's birth came out. The two women chatted back and forth and then smiled to Rebecca and escorted her into the tipi.

Rebecca let her eyes adjust to the dimness and followed the older woman to the right side of the dwelling. She patted her hand on some furs and Rebecca handed her son to the woman so she could sit. The two women chatted back and forth and the younger woman approached Rebecca with a beautifully decorated cradleboard. She smiled and thanked the woman as she examined the cradle. She could tell a lot of love went into the making of this.

Smiling Woman watched the white woman look at the cradleboard and smiled when she saw how pleased the woman was at the gift. "Does White Wolf know that the woman has been allowed to leave the birth lodge?"

Fallen Star looked at her daughter and nodded. "Yes. I told him when you went to help her pack up her belongings. He should be here any moment."

Smiling Woman knelt next to the white woman to help her place her son inside the cradleboard. "I wonder if he will take her and the child or if he will allow us to keep her here."

"I think we have to wait until the council meets before any decision is made. From what White Wolf has told me he is to return the woman back to her people." Fallen Star looked up when she heard a scratching at the entrance flap. "I think he is here now."

White Wolf entered the dwelling of Fallen Star, Three Stones and their daughter Smiling Woman. He nodded his head to Smiling Woman and chuckled when the woman bashfully lowered her head. "Hello Fallen Star. How has the white woman been toward you?"

"She has been very sweet and grateful. I know we cannot understand each other's words, but I can tell she is pleased for what we have done to help her."

White Wolf nodded his head and walked toward the white woman where she was sitting at the back of the dwelling. His breath caught in his throat when she looked up to him. She was absolutely stunning. Her long fire colored hair hung down her back in two thick braids that reached her waist. Her dark lashes accented her soft brown eyes that seemed to read into his soul. He noticed how slim her figure had become and his groin began to warm at the notice of her full breasts.

Rebecca noticed White Wolf entering the tipi and she smiled, happy to know she would finally be able to communicate with someone again. She watched him as he walked toward her and she suddenly became uncomfortable with the way he was looking at her. She lowered her eyes in uneasiness and looked down at her son.

"It is pleasing to see you doing well. How you feel?"

"Fine."

White Wolf looked back to Fallen Star and the woman nodded her head as she and her daughter left the dwelling. "Sorry if I made you uneasy. Motherhood suits you. You are glowing with happiness."

Rebecca nodded her head and looked up to White Wolf. "What are the names of the two women that just left here?"

White Wolf smiled. "The older one is Fallen Star, the younger is her daughter Smiling Woman." He looked strangely at the woman when she began to chuckle.

"The name fit's her. Smiling Woman, does in fact smile a lot. They were so sweet and kind to me. I would like to thank them for all their help."

White Wolf shook his head. "It is not necessary. They believe it a gift that they got to help bring a new life into the world. Women that are birthing, have the help of their mother, aunts and sisters. Fallen Star has one child, Smiling Woman and she is still single."

"What is going to happen to me now?"

"There is to be a council meeting. You are now free to travel. We will need warriors for the trip. We will decide then when you can go back home."

Rebecca sighed and thanked White Wolf. "You have been so nice to me, I don't know how I could ever thank you."

"Tell your people to never cross the great muddy river into our land again. That is all we ask. We want to be left alone."

"I understand, but I cannot speak for all whites White Wolf. I am only one person, a mere woman who has no voice among the men where I come from. Trust me, I will stay in Kentucky from now on."

White Wolf nodded his head. "I will leave you. The council will meet shortly. I will send Fallen Star and Smiling Woman back in." He stood and walked over to the sleeping child. "You had a son?"

Rebecca looked down at her son and smiled. "Yes. I am still in shock that I am a mother now. It takes a bit to get used to."

"What is the name you have given him?"

"Kevin James after his father."

"He does not look like a Kee-vin." He paused a moment and bent down to pull back the blanket away from his face. "He looks like an Acorn. His name should be so."

Rebecca looked down at her son and smiled. With his thick black hair and dark olive colored skin he did look like an Acorn. "Acorn, I like that. Not sure how my mother would react, but I do like it. Acorn can be a nice nickname. Kevin James will be his formal name."

"Salute"

Rebecca looked at White Wolf strangely. "Salute? What does that mean?"

"It means, it is done. His name is Acorn." He nodded his head and left Rebecca alone with her son. A few minutes later Fallen Star and Smiling Woman entered the dwelling and began gathering a few things in their arms. Smiling Woman helped her put Acorn on her back and the three women walked through the village toward the river once again.

Rebecca sat on a woven blanket as she watched the other women fill several bags of water at the water's edge. She cradled Acorn in her arms and Rebecca felt at ease with the other women. She looked at her surroundings. There were large trees that surrounded the river and stretched as far back as the eye could see. Mountains loomed in the background and reminded Rebecca of painting's she had once seen at a museum in New York. It was so strange how different the scenery was from her home in Kentucky. The quietness that surrounded her reminded her of the tiny cabin she and Kevin had lived in the first year they were married. There were a lot of good memories there, as well as sad ones. It was there she and Kevin had lost their first baby. She was about five months along and lost the child after a fall. With the loss of the baby both she and Kevin cried. It was the hardest thing they had ever had to deal with. Rebecca sniffed as she realized she was crying. Losing her baby was hard, but she had Kevin to help her though it. How was she ever going to get through without Kevin? "You have always been there for me Kevin. How will I get through life without you?" She buried her face in her hands and cried for the life she wanted back.

Smiling Woman and Morning Sun watched the white woman crying and decided it was time to return to camp. They knew the loss of the white woman's husband was still fresh, and both understood that the woman should not be left alone for too long. The spirits of the dead sometimes lingered and did not need it to encourage the baby to return to the spirit world. They gathered their water bags and the women walked back to camp, hoping that the distraction was enough for a decision to be made on the white woman. They walked through camp and returned Rebecca to White Wolf's dwelling. They smiled encouragement to her and left without another word.

Chapter 7

Rebecca walked slowly into the dim dwelling and saw White Wolf sitting in front of the fire. Rebecca was a little surprised that the women had sent her to his tipi and wasn't sure what she was supposed to do. Rebecca looked at the ground and then at White Wolf. He looked up at her and motioned for her to sit.

Rebecca nodded her head and placed Acorn on the ground next to her. She looked at White Wolf's face and it was unreadable.

White Wolf watched Rebecca raise her head and saw softness in her eyes that made him take a deep breath. He swallowed and lowered his eyes. "Where you call home?"

Rebecca lowered her eyes back down to her son and began to unlace the cradleboard so she could hold him. "My father owns a large ranch in Winchester, Kentucky. He has a very successful shipping business too. I was born in Boston, Massachusetts shortly after my parents and brother arrived in America from Ireland."

White Wolf looked strangely at Rebecca. "What is Iron-land?"

For the first time in close to a month Rebecca laughed. "Ireland is a country far, far across the ocean. I have never been there, but I have heard that no place can compare to its beauty."

White Wolf nodded his head, but doubted anything could be more peaceful and majestic than his beloved land. He cleared his throat and got up and walked to the back of the dwelling. He returned carrying a small bundle and handed it to Rebecca.

Rebecca glanced up at White Wolf and took the bundle from him. She opened it and pulled out two doeskin tunics and one white doeskin dress. She stared at the beautiful beadwork and detail that went into making the dresses. "Who made these? I can tell a lot of love went into making them."

"My wife made."

"They are beautiful. Where is she, so I can thank her? I really don't know what I can do to repay her kindness."

White Wolf closed his eyes and spoke softly. "She died shortly after giving birth to our son."

Rebecca felt a sudden rush of sympathy for White Wolf. "I'm so sorry. How long ago did she pass?" She looked at White Wolf and saw sadness in his eyes as she waited for him to answer.

"It seems a lifetime ago. When you lose someone you love it alters your life forever. There is a whole in my heart that cannot be filled. The pain I feel, reminds me that she once existed. That she was real."

Rebecca slowly looked up at White Wolf and watched him lower his head. She understood all too well about his loss. He had lost his wife and child. She glanced over at her sleeping son. She at least still had her son. A part of Kevin would be with her always. She stared up at While Wolf and noticed a thin white scar that ran down the right side of his face. She had once heard that Indians would slash their skin or cut off a finger to mourn the death of a loved one. As she saw the sadness on his face, she knew he had loved his wife very deeply to make such a sacrifice. "I am so sorry about your loss. I will not speak to you about it again."

White Wolf nodded his head and was glad he did not have to explain to Rebecca about his people's customs on talking of the dead. His people believed that speaking the name of a loved one that had passed would make their spirits come back and would never be at rest. White Wolf watched Rebecca for a moment and smiled at the way she gently touched her son and talked softly to him. He took a moment to really look at her. He admired her features and the creamy color of her skin. His blood began to pump wildly as she ran her finger through her hair while she unbraided it. He reveled at the bright fiery color and wondered if her hair was as soft as it appeared. He quickly lowered his eyes when she glanced up and he cleared his throat. "My friend Smiling Woman and her mother are preparing food for us to eat. They will be here soon."

Rebecca smiled at White Wolf and watched him as he began to carve onto a piece of wood. She realized that the more she spoke with him, the better his English was. It was making communication easier. She gently laid Acorn down and watched him work. His poise was breathtaking. He sat straight with his legs crossed in front of him. A tiny feather hung from a small braid on the left side of his head. The remainder of his waist length hair hung loosely down his back. She kept her eyes downcast as she admired his strong long fingers as they held the wood and deftly moved and held the wood that soon began to take the shape of something. He glanced up at her and she was startled by his dark long lashes and felt unable to look away. When she heard him clear his throat she quickly lowered her eyes in embarrassment. Her husband had only been dead a short time and here she was gawking at another man. What was wrong with her?

She felt like she could not control herself, that something was making her do this. She slowly raised her eyes again and they locked with White Wolf's. She sat there staring into his dark eyes and a warm heat began to fill her stomach. Her breath began to quicken and her palms began to sweat as their eyes remained locked in what felt like a passionate embrace.

"White Wolf, I have your dinner for you and Ree-becka." Fallen Star and Smiling Woman walked into the tipi and saw the two quickly turn and face them.

White Wolf quickly stood and took the dish from his friend. "Thank you so much for all you have done. Do you wish to join us?"

"No, we must get back. Three Stones is returning from the council meeting, so I need to be there for him."

White Wolf nodded and the two women left. He looked back at Rebecca and smiled. He felt so strange when he was with her. He was feeling things he had not felt in a long time. Things that made him smile. "Ree-becka, we will eat then would you like to walk and see my people's village?"

Rebecca looked at White Wolf and smiled. "Yes I would like that. How long will it be before I can return home? I am anxious to see my family again, and for them to meet Acorn." Rebecca began to eat the savory stew that was prepared and tried to figure out all that went into making it. She knew there was some type of meat, but the vegetables she had never seen before.

She began to wonder as she ate, at her strange feelings she felt towards White Wolf. She concluded it was just a simple fondness and kinship at the mutual loss of their spouses. They both were alone and it was nothing more. It wasn't long before they were finished eating and the two of them along with Acorn began to walk through the village. Rebecca was amazed at the size of the village. There had to be close to a hundred or more tipi's here. She listened intently to White Wolf as he began to explain some things of their way of living.

"My people are very spiritual. Everything we do is related to prayer. In life, there is only one inheritable duty – the duty of prayer. The first thing we do when waking is to pray and thank the Great Spirit, Wanka Tanka for another day. In the world of my people the Lakota, the word Wanka means many things, yet nothing that is easily understood by others. I will try my best to explain, but am not sure how much you will understand. All things have spirits, or life. Everything from the dirt that grows the grass the buffalo eat, to the tall mountains that loom in the distance. Our religion is something we learn from a small child up through adulthood. Every day is a chance to acquire more knowledge and to teach our children what we have learned."

Rebecca walked slowly with White Wolf and was just awe struck with the magnitude of what he was telling her. Growing up she was taught that Indians were mindless savages that could not feel or think like civilized people, such as herself. Here she was with an Indian and saw how deeply they cherished all living things.

"Ree-becka. I want you to understand that your husband's death was not what we had intended. My brother, Blue Feather is young and eager to become a respected warrior. What he did was wrong and he is being punished for his crime." White Wolf saw her lower her head and looked at her hands before she spoke to him.

"What happened to his body?" If it was something they did not really mean to do they would at least have buried him, wouldn't they?

"I had my cousin's Running Wolf and Kicking Elk bring your husband here." White Wolf pointed to a mound of dirt that was just starting to grow grass. "I will leave you alone. I will be over there when you are ready."

Rebecca watched White Wolf walk away and she slowly walked over to Kevin's grave. She took unsteady steps to the area that marked Kevin's grave. Her legs gave out and she collapsed to the ground in tears. "Kevin. God I miss you. I knew it would hurt if I ever lost you, but nothing could prepare me for the pain I am going through since you are gone." Her throat burned from the sobs she held in and she reached out and caressed the dirt as if it were her husband. "How will I go on? Our son, he is so beautiful and strong, you would have been so proud. Why did you have to die? Wasn't it bad enough that I lost our first child, and now I have lost you? Kevin we were supposed to grow old together and . . ." She briefly stopped to control her sobs. "I wanted to die with you. We have a son and I don't know how I am going to raise him on my own." She sniffed and wiped at her face to dry it. "How will I tell your mother and your sister that you died? We will never be able to come and put flowers on your grave, no one will ever know you were here." Her sobs racked her body again and she bent down to clench fistfuls of dirt in her hands.

Several minutes passed and her tears began to subside. She took a few deep breaths and stood. She looked at the grave one last time and whispered, "Goodbye, my love."

White Wolf walked with Rebecca back to Fallen Star's dwelling in silence. He knew her loss was great and no words he could speak would lessen her pain. "I will talk with Three Stones and then we will discuss when we will leave."

Rebecca nodded her head and followed White Wolf into the dwelling. She saw Smiling Woman and smiled at the woman and went to sit next to her. After all this woman had done for her, she wished she could at least talk to her and say thank you. She knew her face was still red and puffy from crying and she saw concern on the woman's face.

White Wolf saw the concerned look on Smiling Woman's face and told the woman he had taken Rebecca to see her husband's grave. "She is sad Smiling Woman, maybe you can do something to cheer her up?" He watched the woman look at Rebecca with compassion and then wrapped her arms warmly around Rebecca. Yes, Smiling Woman was a good person to have as a friend. If he had not married her Maske, best friend, he would have asked her to marry him. However the woman's bond to his dead wife was so strong that she felt she would be dishonoring her memory by marrying him. They had remained close friends instead.

"Three Stones it is good to see you. How did the council meeting go?"

Three Stones nodded his head and gave White Wolf a knowing look. "It is a nice evening White Wolf, let us go outside and enjoy this weather the Great Spirit has given us." The two men stood and walked outside to the warm evening.

"The meeting went well, at least for the white woman. You will be given three men to travel with you to take the woman back. You can leave when the sun rises in the morning."

White Wolf nodded his head and the two men walked side by side for a moment before Three Stones began to speak again.

"Your brother White Wolf, has gotten himself into a lot of trouble. Many of the elders want to banish him. However, since Walks Proudly, your father and I are the only Shirt Wearer's we have the authority to influence the others decision."

White Wolf looked at Three Stones in amazement. The Shirt Wearer's were the most respected men in the village. They were the only ones who had the right to wear painted scalp shirts. It was evidence of great sacrifice and bravery, things that were required to earn this high rank in their society. In battle, Shirt Wearers were the first to charge and the last to depart. If a fellow warrior's horse was injured, leaving the man on foot it was the Shirt Wearer who rescued him. These were the men that usually applied the harshest punishment when a law was broken. It amazed White Hawk that they were the ones who were being the most lenient. "What is his punishment?"

"He must travel with you to take the white woman back and care for her and the child like her husband would have. He will hunt, and protect her with his own life if he must. He will not be able to hunt with you as group until his debt is repaid."

White Wolf sighed in relief. "Three Stones that is a light sentence considering what he did. Why did you do this?"

"I am not finished White Wolf. You will go to the white woman and ask her if this is acceptable for her. Whatever she thinks is suitable punishment that too will be applied."

White Wolf nodded his head in agreement. "I will talk with her when we get back."

"White Wolf this is only his punishment for killing the man. He must still deal with the penalty of going off on his own and disobeying the lead warrior of the hunting party." Three Stones stopped and looked at White Wolf. "Since you were the lead warrior, you are to punish him as you see fit. We have all agreed you will be fair and not let your judgment as his brother cloud your decision."

White Wolf nodded his head. "I must think on this Three Stones. I will tell you what my decision will be by the time we leave tomorrow."

Three Stones looked up at the younger man and put his hand on his shoulder. He was a good man and respected warrior. When his young wife died in childbirth he hoped that after the initial morning period he would ask for his own daughter's hand in marriage. He was saddened to find out his daughter had refused to marry White Wolf when he asked. She had pledged her loyalty to her dead friend by not loving the same man her dear friend had cared for so much. "There is no rush White Wolf. You can wait until you return from your trip to tell us." He smiled at the young man and they turned to walk back toward Three Stones dwelling. "I want to return to my tipi, Fallen Star said the white trapper Grizzly is due to arrive soon and she wants to trade some of my tobacco for some beads. If I don't tell her what to trade she is liable to give away my best tobacco." The two men laughed and walked side by side as they headed back toward Three Stones dwelling.

Smiling Woman knew that Rebecca needed some familiar things to cheer her up so she took the woman's hand and led her to the back of their dwelling. "Here are your things that were on your rolling travois. I will leave you alone with them now."

Rebecca watched Smiling woman leave and laid Acorn down before she opened her trunk. She opened the large wooden chest and carefully pulled out the blue muslin she had used to keep the trail dust from her things. She was careful not to disturb too much dust and carefully picked through her things. Rebecca pulled out one of Kevin's nightshirts and held it to her face. She inhaled his scent, which still clung to the fabric, and she closed her eyes hoping that this was all a bad dream. "I miss you so much Kevin." Her throat hurt and she cleared it to fight off more tears. She continued to dig through her trunk until her hands felt what she had been searching for. Rebecca pulled out a carefully wrapped package and began to unwrap it. She sighed and smiled when she looked down at her and Kevin's wedding portrait.

Memories flooded her mind as she wiped at more tears that had formed. It had been almost two years since she had seen any of her family. Her wedding had taken place on a beautiful spring day. Everyone in the town's elite society had been invited. It was perfect in every way, one she had always dreamed of. She could still remember the smell of fresh cut pine from the newly constructed platform the minister stood on.

Rebecca smiled when she remembered how Father Worthington complained that he would marry no one he had to look up to. Kevin was unusually tall compared to the rest of the men she had ever known, so a platform was built. Her white, satin and lace dress had fit her body perfectly. The bodice had been made of lace that came from Spain and the skirting was yards and yards of satin. Small pearl buttons trailed down her back, leg of mutton sleeves and a six-foot train. Her veil had been given to her by her mother and had sat upon her auburn hair that was pulled into a beautiful chignon. Small curls had framed her face and her eyes never left Kevin's. He had worn a black satin jacket and tie. Rebecca's mother was standing next to her father and had been wearing a beautiful, blue velvet dress that had a high bust line that was trimmed with lace. Kevin's mother, Elizabeth and his sister, Amanda had stood on Kevin's left side. Elizabeth wore an emerald green dress and Amanda had worn a simple, yellow calico dress.

Rebecca smiled when she remembered Kevin's loving words he had whispered to her while they stood to get their portrait done. She brought the picture to her lips and placed a soft kiss over Kevin's face. "Will the hurt ever go away?" She put all of her things back into the trunk and closed the lid. Maybe Kevin would still be alive, if she had protested more that they not travel West. She shook her head and sighed, she knew she could never tell Kevin no. He was chasing a dream and she always wanted him to be happy. She quickly wiped at her face and pretended to be very interested in her dresses beadwork when White Wolf, Fallen Star and Three Stones entered the tipi. The husband and wife chatted for a bit and then Fallen Star excitedly left the tipi.

White Wolf noticed Rebecca's tear streaked face and his heart pained for her. He knew she was in pain from losing her husband, he hoped that retuning home would make her heart ache less. "Ree-beka, tomorrow we will leave to take you back to your people."

Rebecca raised her head and smiled. "Thank you White Wolf. This means a lot that you are doing this for me."

"There will be some other warrior's coming along to insure your safety. I know that going home to your people might help ease the pain in your heart."

Rebecca saw the distant look in White Wolf's eyes and had a feeling he was talking from experience. "I guess I better pack up my things. Thank you again White Wolf." She watched him leave, and shortly after Smiling Woman came in. She was chattering to her father excitedly and he continued to shake his head no to her. Rebecca smiled watching the two and began thinking of her own father. How she missed him.

"I told you Smiling Woman I gave all my tobacco to your mother for beads. I don't have any more to spare. You will have to find something else to trade with Grizzly." Three Stones tried in vain to convince his daughter he was out of tobacco, but her pleading was tearing at his heart. He found he could never deny his daughter for long. He stood and rummaged through his belongings and found an old knife. "Here why not try this? It may not be very big, but it is very sharp."

"Oh thank you father. I know Grizzly will like this. Thank you so much." She stood and turned to exit, but her father called her name and she stopped.

"Why not take the white woman? She might find something useful to trade as well."

Smiling Woman nodded her head and walked to Rebecca. "Come with me. I will take you to the white trapper Grizzly."

Rebecca noticed that Smiling Woman was talking to her and motioned for her to follow. She looked down at her sleeping son and Smiling Woman said something to her father and he nodded his head and walked over to pick up Acorn. Rebecca had a feeling the woman had just asked her father to watch Acorn so the two of them could do something. After being here over a month Rebecca felt safe enough to leave her son in the older man's care.

The two women walked outside and followed a few other women toward a horse and cart. Rebecca was surprised to see a white trapper and stopped suddenly when she got a close look at his bearded face. Fear gripped her heart and she reached out for Smiling Woman. The woman looked at her strangely and tried to pull away. "No, you can't go near him. Please tell those people to not touch anything from him."

Smiling Woman looked at Rebecca strangely. Why was she refusing to go to the white trapper? "He is a good friend. It is okay to go to him."

"No you don't want to go to him. White Wolf. I need to see White Wolf right away."

White Wolf was walking toward the white trapper when he heard Rebecca call for him. "What do you need Ree-beka?"

Rebecca ran to White Wolf, still clutching onto Smiling Woman's hand. "Get those people away from the trapper White Wolf."

"Why, Grizzly means us no harm."

"He has smallpox White Wolf!"

"What is smallpox?"

Rebecca was frantic with fear. How could she explain this deadly disease to him? "It kills White Wolf. With as little as a touch from an infected person, it could kill everyone in this village in less than a month. Look at his face and hands White Wolf. The blisters are a sure sign of smallpox."

White Wolf looked at Rebecca at then back at the trapper. He had never heard of this disease she spoke of, but had heard of white mans disease that kill entire villages in a matter of a moon. The fear he saw on her face made him realize he needed to react quickly. "What do I do?"

"I will get Grizzly out of here. I've already had smallpox so I can't get it again. You need to tell everyone that has come in contact with him to go to the river and wash right away. Everything they are wearing or touched should be burned." Rebecca looked at Smiling Woman and then back at White Wolf. "Please ask her to return to her tipi and stay with my son. I don't want them to become infected."

White Wolf told Smiling Woman to return to her dwelling quickly. When she shook her head no he spoke sternly to her. "Please do not ask questions Smiling Woman, just go!"

Rebecca watched Smiling Woman head for her tipi as she herself headed toward Grizzly. She watched White Wolf call for everyone to come with him and not to ask questions. "You sir, please stop what you are doing. You need to leave this village immediately."

"What you mean woman? I here to trade, you can go elsewhere."

Rebecca flinched when he began to cough and was a little afraid he would refuse to go. "Don't you realize you have smallpox? You are going to infect everyone in this village." She stopped when the man began to laugh.

"Yeah I know I got it. Picked it up from some damn tribe North-East of here. Figured if I was gonna die I was gonna kill off as many of these damn savages as I could"

"How can you do this? These people did nothing to you. They all trusted you and considered you a friend. This is how you treat them, condemn them to die?" He wasn't moving. He just stood there laughing. She had to do something or he was going to infect everyone here. She glanced at his cart and saw a wicked looking knife. She quickly grabbed it and held it tightly in her hand. She took a few more steps toward him as she prayed he would just pack up and leave. "I am asking you again to leave here or I will have someone kill you where you stand."

He looked at this white woman and laughed. "You look like you are new here. You don't even know their language, how you gonna tell one of them bucks to do anything to me?"

Rebecca franticly looked around for White Wolf, but knew he must still be at the river. She saw a few others watching the spectacle, but no one approached them, something she was thankful for. She hoped he would leave by threats, but had a feeling he would not leave until he knew he had left the disease behind.

"Whatcha gonna do girl? Go running to all the villages I have stopped at and try to save these savage beasts? They are as good as dead, and I will continue on until I can't any more. That is when I will get some nice squaw to care for me and infect my last village."

No, he wouldn't. Would he? Dear God, these people didn't deserve this, no one did. She had seen first-hand what Smallpox could do. She was 11 years old when she and her sister contracted smallpox. She survived, but her little sister did not. She had laid in bed next to her as the disease ravaged her small frame. Coughing and crying asking their mother to take the pain away. She could not bare to watch anyone go through that again. She had to stop him, or he might kill hundreds of people. She looked down at the knife, could she do it? Could she take a life in order to save others?

"I'll be seeing ya purty lady. Hope you have a nice, short life."

He broke out into a sickening laughter that chilled Rebecca's very soul. Something inside her stirred when she saw Fallen Star approach the trapper. She was waving her hands calling out to her.

"No, stop. Stay away from him."

"She has no idea what you are saying woman, but she understand me." He smiled and walked toward the woman, speaking to her in her own tongue.

"NO!" Rebecca felt a surge of power and ran at the man. She had no idea if she would reach him before he reached Fallen Star, but she had to try. Her heart was beating in her ears and she screamed out as she lunged at the man driving the knife deep into his upper back. The force of her running at him knocked them both to the ground and she heard a soft moan from the man. She shouted at Fallen Star to get back, knowing she wouldn't understand, but tried anyways. "Leave here. Go away, he is evil."

"You bitch, you stabbed me." The trapper began to push up from the ground cursing at the woman.

Rebecca couldn't believe that she had actually stabbed the man. She franticly pulled the knife from his back and grabbed a fistful of his hair pulling his head back. "You can rot in hell, you bastard!" With a quick motion she sliced the knife across his throat and blood poured from his neck. She dropped the knife and scooted back as she watched him cover his neck with his hands to stop the bleeding. He gurgled something and then slumped to the ground in a heap. Rebecca's body began to shiver at the realization at what she had just done. "Dear God forgive me."

She sat there for several minutes unmoving until she heard her name.

"Ree-beka, what happened?" White Wolf looked at the dead trapper and then back at the woman. "Did you kill Grizzly?"

"I had to. He was blaming all Indian's for getting him sick. He was going to travel village to village infecting as many people as possible. I couldn't let him do that White Wolf. I've seen what smallpox can do. It is a horrible, horrible way to die." She lowered her head and tears began to fall. "I've seen too many people I care for die from smallpox. I just couldn't let him do it."

White Wolf approached Rebecca and bent down to comfort her. She squeaked and scooted away from him.

Rebecca doubled over as her stomach began to turn as reality began to sink in. She had killed a man with her bare hands. Bile burned her throat and she fought to calm herself. Suddenly she lurched forward vomiting and gasping for air as her body convulsed. She heard footsteps approaching her and looked up to see White Wolf bending down to her.

"No don't get near me. I may infect you." She slowly stood on unsteady feet and looked over at the body. She could see blisters on his hands, face and neck. This trapper was highly contagious and needed to be disposed of. "We need to burn everything. Even the horse."

White Wolf looked at Rebecca and shook his head. "I will not kill a healthy horse. I will not do it."

Rebecca thought and decided that the chance of the horse passing smallpox was small. She however, did not want to take any chances. "I will strip the horse down and bath him in the river, just in case he is carrying the disease on the bedroll or saddle." She sighed and looked at the horse that was strapped to the cart. She pulled the cart toward the body of the trapper and unlaced the horse. A group of people were gathering, curious about the commotion. Many people began to whisper and Rebecca wondered what they were saying. She pulled some wood from a nearby fire and tossed it onto the cart. Slowly the flames began to grow and when it engulfed the entire cart she walked toward White Wolf. "Take me to where you took the others. I will wash the animal and keep it away from everyone."

White Wolf nodded his head and lead Rebecca to the river where the others had washed.

"White Wolf, the others need to avoid contact with the rest of the village to make sure we don't infect anyone. Is there a place we could go?"

"I will have some women of the village erect some tipi's on the other side of the river. Will this work for you?" White Wolf looked back at Rebecca and noticed she was looking at the blood that was drying on her hands. What she had done for his people was very brave and he wondered if they would really understand what she did for them. "You did a very brave thing Rebecca."

"I don't feel very brave. I felt fear more than anything. I just couldn't let him condemn anyone to death. It isn't right White Wolf." She gently rubbed the horses muzzle and spoke softly to it. She looked up when White Wolf stopped.

"Will you be okay here until I come back?"

"Yes, I will be fine. Thank you, White Wolf. Remember, touch no one until you have washed thoroughly." She watched White Wolf nod his head and he turned to walk back toward the village. She pulled at the horse's reigns and coaxed the animal into the water. When the water got waist deep she began to scrub the animal down, making sure to clean it very thoroughly. When she finished with the horse she scrubbed herself. The whole time her mind was in a blur, not really focusing on any one thing.

"Rebecca." White Wolf called from the water's edge and noticed that she still had her clothes on. "The others are waiting for you. Are you ready to come ashore?"

Rebecca nodded her head and slowly walked out of the water. Walking was a little difficult because of the wet doeskin dress she wore, but she didn't mind it. When they reached the village Rebecca stopped and stared in amazement. All except four tipis were disassembled and being transported away. "What is going on White Wolf? Why is everyone packing up? They don't need to leave, just the few who came in contact with Grizzly need to leave."

"Many saw what you did and know the evil sickness you speak of. We will leave it here with this man and never return."

"White Wolf I am the only person that can care for anyone that might get sick. I cannot leave with you." She paused and looked up at him, pleading in her eyes. "I need to stay here. Can someone please care for my son?"

White Wolf nodded and a soft smile crossed his face. She wanted to stay. Not just for him, but to save his people. His heart swelled at her selfless act. "Acorn will stay with Smiling Woman and Three stones. I will instruct someone to return in one moon to ensure that if you are the only one to survive you will still be reunited with your son."

White Wolf saw fear cross her face and he gently put his hand on her shoulder. "I could stay here with you. To help communicate for you."

Rebecca shook her head. "No you cannot. White Wolf you could get sick and die. Please leave with the others." He had done so much for her, she could not bear it if he got sick, just so he could help communicate for her

"I have already made my decision. I will tell the others I am staying here with you and the ones that might become sick." White Wolf smiled when he saw the warm smile that crossed Rebecca's face. "How long will we have to stay away from the rest of the village?"

"Well if no one shows any signs of infection we could be back with the village in about two weeks. If someone does get sick, we could be here for several months."

White Wolf looked at Rebecca. "Weeks, months, I do not know what that is."

Rebecca scratched her head and thought for a bit. "Well there are seven days in a week and four weeks in a month." She smiled to White Hawk, but he still looked confused. "When the sun rises and then sets that is one day. When that occurs seven times, it is a week, four weeks is a month. Do you understand?"

"Ah, yes. However, we keep it much simpler. One sun is a day and one moon is a month."

Rebecca smiled at White Wolf and then turned to the people that were left in the village. Many of the people that had come in contact with the trapper were women and children. There was an elderly couple, which stood off to the side. The man had his arm protectively around the woman and Rebecca knew if they had smallpox they would be the first to die. She turned back and watched the horizon as the rest of the villagers disappeared in the distance. Somewhere among them was her son. She lowered her head and tears began to pool in her eyes. What if everyone here died and she was left alone. "White Wolf?"

"Yes Ree-becka?" He saw the sadness on her face and looked at the disappearing village. "Smiling Woman will take good care of your son Ree-becka. There is a new young mother that can feed your son until we return." A smile appeared on her face and when he put his arm around her to comfort her she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Thank you. I know it is best he isn't here, but my heart aches for him." She took a deep breath and turned to the others. "Well I guess I better prepare you for what to expect."

White Wolf called to the others and had them all sit facing Rebecca. As she began to speak, he translated to the small group of 25 people explaining what to expect from the disease. A chill crept across his skin as he listened to the horror that they could face. Fear came over him that all of the faces he was looking at could be dead in a short time. He looked at Rebecca once she finished talking and he grasped her hand. "You have seen this horror first hand. How can I thank you for the sacrifices you are making to try and keep my people safe?" Her eyes were downcast as he watched a single tear roll down her face.

"White Wolf I pray no one has gotten sick, but I know all too well that sometimes no matter how hard we try, it finds a way." She watched him lower his head and she hoped that she would not lose this man, she now called a friend.

Chapter 8

Nearly a week went by before anyone began to show signs of smallpox. Rebecca leaned over the elderly man, Buffalo Hunter, as she wiped the sweat from his forehead. He was the first to show signs of smallpox. He complained of his back aching followed by nausea and fever. Three days ago he mentioned his throat was irritating him. Upon inspection she saw the red irritated skin bursting with clear blisters. Rebecca tried to keep Buffalo Hunter separated from the others when he began to show signs, but his wife refused to be separated from her husband. Rebecca knew it was only a matter of time before the woman came down with it too.

This morning his wife awoke with a fever and Rebecca had her moved from her daughters dwelling to the tipi with him. Rebecca shook her head as she watched the couple hold onto each others hands tightly. She wondered if these two would pass on and never really understand what was happening to them. In the past week she had learned several Lakota words that helped her communicate with the sick she was caring for. Pain, sore, hot, water and more were some of the words she used the most. She would boil water for tea that she made from ginger root. She knew the warmth from the tea would help with the discomfort from the sore throat and the ginger would help with the nausea. Buffalo Hunter was a tender old man. Rebecca knew he was telling his wife stories from their past that would cause Tree Star to smile. They would lie next to each other, hands laced together and speak softly to each other. When the pain was too much to talk they would just stare into each other's eyes. She stared at the couple as she watched Tree Star trace her fingertips across Buffalo Hunters face. Her heart pained for this couple, knowing they would die not being able to be surrounded by their loved ones. She slowly stood and left the two alone with their memories of a time before the sickness. She sat outside the warm confines of the "sick dwelling" which she knew the others were calling where she had Tree Star and Buffalo Hunter staying. The dwelling across from theirs was Deer's, the couple's daughter. She waved to the tiny woman who was combing her young daughter's hair. She wasn't quite sure how the others viewed her. Did they know she was helping, did they blame her for the sickness that plagued them? All she could do was look at others, keeping a safe distance from anyone that showed no signs of being sick. The thing that frustrated her the most was once someone got sick all she could do was make them more comfortable. There was nothing she could do to make them better, only watch and hope they would not die.

Since she had limited her contact with White Wolf these past several weeks she couldn't communicate as well as she would like. She walked back inside the tipi and approached Tree Star. She carefully took her hand and smiled to her. "I will be back. I want to get some more water for you two." The woman smiled at her and nodded her head. Rebecca stood and walked outside into the warm sunlight. She stretched her stiff arms over her head and yawned from the lack of sleep she was getting. She rubbed her neck as she walked toward the river and stopped when she saw Deer and Red Star on the pathway to the river. She stopped and smiled a greeting to them. "I bet you are wondering how your parents are doing." Rebecca didn't dare get any closer, although she was not sick, she could still pass the sickness on to them.

"They are feverish and the child has a sore throat." White Wolf walked up to Rebecca as he nodded his head toward the woman and child. Fear crept across her as she looked at White Wolf. "Are you sure? I've been so careful with their care, and they have had no contact with anyone else in over a week."

"I have seen Deer come from the dwelling on several occasions visiting with her parents when you would go to the river to bathe or get water."

Rebecca lowered her head and clenched her fists at her side. Did these people have any idea what they have just done? "White Wolf, they have just risked infecting everyone in this camp! How am I supposed to help if no one will listen to me?"

White Wolf lowered his head. "Our people get their strength from their loved ones. Deer was only trying to comfort her parents and pray for them." He paused and raised his head to look her into her eyes. "Sometimes the risk of death is worth the sacrifice of being able to hold a loved one, one last time before they die."

Rebecca glared at White Wolf. She knew what it was like to lose a loved one to smallpox. Although she was young, the pain was still present. A void left in her heart. Would she have risked her life to be with her sister if she too had not already been sick? To comfort her through the pain and loneliness of the isolation that one must endure to ensure others from getting sick. "I'm sorry, I just wanted to keep the others safe. I didn't want to risk the spread of this stupid sickness."

White Wolf took her hand into his. She didn't pull away, when she realized how hot his hand was in hers. She looked up to him, searching his eyes for an answer from him.

"I am sorry to say, I too am feverish and woke this morning with pain in my throat."

"No, White Wolf! But how? I have been so careful."

"Once I realized what Deer had been doing, I made sure I did not leave her side. If she has become sick because of visiting her parents, the sickness would go no further than her dwelling."

Rebecca felt tears form in her eyes as she looked at White Wolf.

"It is not your fault. I was caring for Deer and her daughter Red Star when they came down with the fever." White Wolf lowered his head and looked down at the small girl and shook his head. She did not deserve this and it pained his heart to know what was to come with this sickness.

Rebecca bent down in front of the little girl and had her open her mouth. Inside she saw redness and small clear filled blisters. She wouldn't know for a few more days how severe the smallpox would be, but knew she didn't want to have to look another child in the face with the fear that they might die. "I'm not sure I can do this White Wolf. I can't keep watching people get sick when I do everything I can to keep them safe." She lowered her head and sighed. She felt a strong hand on her shoulder and she looked up to White Wolf.

"No one blames you for this. We all know you are trying to keep us from getting the spotted sickness, but Wanka Tanka is in control now. You have done more then you will ever know by helping us to not spread it to the rest of the village."

Rebecca nodded her head. She knew White Wolf was right. However, it didn't take away the guilty feeling that whites had brought this to them and she was white. She stood and walked with Deer, Red Star and White Wolf to the river. There she explained to White Wolf, so he could translate to Deer that they needed to gather plenty of water and when the pox began to spread across their body they should remain in their dwelling at all times. She walked back with White Wolf and instructed Deer that she would need to move into the same dwelling as her parents.

"White Wolf, we will need to burn their dwelling as well as yours. It is the only way we can contain the spread of the smallpox."

He nodded his head and she followed him to his dwelling. She looked around at the familiar surroundings and remembered the last time she was in here she had her son. She lowered her head and ran her hand over her slimming waist. How she missed her son. She yearned to hold him, but knew he was safest away from her. She could not bare the thought of her tiny son getting smallpox. She sat down and looked over at White Wolf as he pulled out his bed roll. "Are you feeling tired White Wolf?"

He looked up at Rebecca and nodded. He found that his throat did not hurt as much if he didn't talk. He was becoming more and more tired as he tried to ready his few belongings that he would take with him.

She watched as he ran his hands over the support pole and other items in his dwelling. A strange look crossed his face and she noticed he was murmuring something quietly. She suddenly felt like an intruder and quietly stepped out of the dwelling. A few moments later he emerged caring his weapons and his bedroll.

He was quiet for a moment and spoke without looking at her. "My wife made this dwelling. Stitched it herself with the buffalo I had killed the summer of our first year of marriage. Usually a dwelling only lasts a few summers before it needs to be mended or replaced. It has remained intact and un-mended for these past five summers."

Rebecca looked at White Wolf and a pain formed in her stomach. This was all he had left of his wife, and she had just asked him to burn it down. She reached out and gently took the bed roll from his hand. "I will wait for you at the other dwelling. There is no hurry White Wolf. Take all the time you need."

"All the memories come back, but she never does."

Rebecca looked up at him and he turned away, leaving her to stare at his back. She bit on her bottom lip and walked across the campground to the dwelling she would be sharing with White Wolf.

White Wolf arrived shortly after she did and she directed him to where she had laid his bed roll. He was on the left side of the dwelling near her. She watched him sit down and she walked over to him, kneeling in front of him. "You are probably tired White Wolf. Lay down, I will get a cool rag for your head." She walked over to her supplies and out of the corner of her eye she could see him wrap his arms around himself and lay on his side. She returned to him and bathed his neck and chest, cooling his burning flesh. A few moments later he was asleep. Rebecca stood and left the dwelling to check on her other patients, trying to determine how the disease might be progressing. With Deer and White Wolf she could not yet determine how sick they would become. Red Star, was already showing signs of blisters on her face and neck. She must have gotten sick first, and the mother became sick when caring for the child.

The day grew into night, and night into day. Rebecca worked through the night caring for the growing amount of people that had become ill. Three more people came down with fever and sore throats a few days after Deer, Red Star and White Wolf. As soon as someone showed signs of being sick they joined her and the others at the far end of camp. Two tipis were moved closer to the "sick" dwelling. Rebecca was grateful for the close proximity of the dwellings. It made caring for the others easier on her.

She walked into the dwelling she shared with White Wolf, although she cared for 8 people, she spent most of her time with Deer and Red Star. Deer was a small framed woman, she guessed to be no more than in her mid-twenties. Her eyes were large, dark and framed with thick long lashes. She was quiet and easily frightened and Rebecca thought her name fit her well. She also was patient and determined, doing her best to teach Rebecca Lakota. Her work was successful and Rebecca was soon able to communicate with her patients more than just a few words. Red Star was six years old and was the most upbeat child Rebecca had ever come across. Even though she was limited in the things she could do, she never saw the child cry or complain about being sick. She would play quietly with her doll and lay next to her grandparents singing softly to them.

Rebecca tried to keep her spirits up even though dread began to fill her. As the days stretched on she watched Red Star's condition worsen. Rebecca suggested that the girl stay in bed because her eyes were swollen shut from the pox blisters. Rebecca gently spooned water into the girl's mouth and knew if she survived she would be blind. She carefully looked over at Deer and saw the frightened look in her eyes. She felt utterly helpless as she tried to get the small child to drink the broth her mother had made.

"No, no, no." The small girl whimpered and turned her head away and clutched the small doll to her chest.

"Deer, I will let her rest. Your parents need to be checked on. I will visit them." She got up and headed out of the dwelling and into the early morning sunlight. She looked up to the sky and prayed for an end to all of the suffering she was witnessing. As she walked across the small camp to Buffalo Hunter & Tree Star's dwelling she glanced over at where she was staying with White Wolf. She would check on him after her visit with Tree Star and Buffalo Hunter. When she left him earlier this morning he was sleeping. Blisters had begun to form and she was hoping they would not spread further. It was evident he was extremely uncomfortable and not sleeping well. Maybe when she checked on him later, he would be well rested and feeling better.

She sighed and continued to the dwelling. She opened the flap and waited for her eyes to adjust before walking further in. An eerie quietness filled the dwelling and Rebecca held her breath waiting for the greeting that usually came from Tree Star when she visited. She waited and cleared her throat. "Greetings Buffalo Hunter and Tree Star. I have come to feed your fire and fill your water bags." Her eyes had adjusted to the dimness in the dwelling and she walked over to the two lying next to each other. Her legs became weak and she dropped to her knees next to Tree Star. Their hands were clasped together like they were sleeping. Her eyes began to water as she watched their chest, hoping, willing them to rise. She reached out her hand and felt their stiff cold bodies. She lowered her head and allowed the tears to flow freely. She was so sure they would survive their ordeal, their blisters had just started to scab over. She angrily wiped her tears away and stood up. She would have to tell Deer that both her parents were gone. She sadly said a prayer over them and walked out with a lowered head.

She looked over to see White Wolf come from their dwelling. She walked toward him surprised to see him up.

"Your face has the look of death upon it."

"I just came from Tree Star and Buffalo Hunter's dwelling. They died sometime in the night. I was going to tell Deer, so she could say her goodbyes before we burn the dwelling."

"She will need help with preparing her parents for their final journey. I will speak with Shadow Dreamer so he can have the items prepared for us." He paused when he saw the frightened look on her face. "I will not approach him. We have a spot by the river where he will leave items we will need. If they are to travel on to the Great Spirit we need to ensure their safe journey."

Rebecca nodded and watched White Wolf slowly walk away. He walked with his shoulders hunched and his feet shuffled. He held his arms around his sides and it pained Rebecca to see the once proud man lowered to what she saw before her. She turned and headed toward Deer's tipi, dreading the news she would have to tell her.

Rebecca stood with Deer as they watched the dwelling be set on fire. The woman was silent through the preparation of her parents' funeral. The only indication that she was morning the loss of her parents, were the tears that fell unchecked down her face. It broke Rebecca's heart that Deer's daughter could not participate in the funeral. The little girls was covered with so many pox blisters that just to raise her head for water caused her to cry out in pain.

Rebecca lowered her head and prayed that these two were the only casualties. She turned and walked back to her dwelling. She sat and stared at the fire. She watched the colors of orange, blue, red and yellow dance and engulf the wood that fed it. She heard the flap open and raised her eyes to see White Wolf standing beside her.

"I am sorry you feel responsible for what happened to Deer's parents. You did all you could do." He bent down and settled himself next to her.

"I doesn't feel like it. I tried to make them feel better. Comfort them and ease the pain they were in." She paused when her voice broke. She thought if she wanted something bad enough, she could make it so. Why did they have to die? "They were so sweet and gracious to me for helping them. Oh God White Wolf, I feel so responsible for all of this." She covered her face with her hands as she broke down in sobs. Her mind jumping from one thought to the other. Trying to recount all that she did and what she could have done to change things. She then felt White Wolf's warm hand on her shoulder. He said nothing, but let the heat from his hand warm her. She turned to look up at him. Her face was tear streaked and her eyes were puffy and red.

"I know you did all you could do. You have a kind heart, a gentle touch and you care deeply for all." He paused and gently took his finger and traced her jawline from ear to chin. He paused just below her bottom lip.

Rebecca's heart began to race and gooseflesh rose across her arms and back.

"If my time on this earth is drawing near." He held her chin firmly and stared into her light brown eyes. "Know that I am grateful for everything you did, and I am at peace with it."

He dropped his hand and firmly held hers in his. Rebecca lowered her eyes to look at White Wolf's dark hand on hers. Although it was meant as a kind gesture of comfort, Rebecca's heart was still pounding at White Wolf's touch. "Thank you."

He nodded his head and cleared his throat. She looked at him and saw beads of sweat slowly roll down his face and some dripping off the tip of his nose. Panic seized her as she grabbed at White Wolf. "Dear Lord White Wolf you're on fire! Here lay down." She urged him down on his sleeping mat and leaned over to her water bag and wet a piece of linen strip she had been using for rags. She bathed his face and neck with the cool water and was careful not to rub against the newly formed blisters that covered his face and neck. She laid the wet linen strips on his head, neck and chest. His breathing began to slow and she watched as the tension in his shoulders began to relax. His voice was low and she leaned toward him straining to hear what he was saying. His voice was barely above a whisper as he spoke softly in Lakota. "Rest easy White Wolf. Today is not your day to die." She settled in next to him and began to rub the bear grease on his arms and chest.

"Tell me a story about your home."

Rebecca was going to protest. There was nothing special about her life, but as she heard the regular pops from the fire as the only distraction from the distant wailing of mourning outside, she gave in. Her fingers trailed over the raised blisters that covered White Wolf and she began to speak. She spoke of her parents and where she grew up. The smell of fresh hay in the barn when she would go in to feed her horse, how she and her brother used to play hide and seek in the orchard. Her first crush, Owen MacIntyre who used to walk her home from school. She began to describe the smells and sounds of home like she was there once again. She continued talking, taking comfort in the memories that they brought back. It was a distraction for both of them. A distraction from the sadness and death that surrounded them. She spoke for a long time, and as the day turned into night and the familiar sounds of the night filled the air Rebecca laid down next to White Wolf. She laid facing him watching his features as they stared back at her. She gently rested her hand on the side of his face, feeling for fevered skin. White Wolf placed his hand on hers and held hers in place.

"Thank you Ree-beka."

"You're Welcome." As she watched his eyes slowly close, his breathing changed to deep, relaxing breaths. His hand slid from hers and she pulled her hand back. In the dim light from the fire she could still see his features clearly. Everything about White Wolf radiated power and strength. Even as he laid beside her in sickness and fever she felt safe. She wondered though if she could be happy again. She looked at the strong features of White Wolf's face and a warmth filled her. Yes, she thought she could. She had happiness before, she knew what it felt like. She deserved it again. She just wasn't sure where she would find it this time around.

The following week three more people had died and today Rebecca was carrying the small body of Red Star away from her mother. Tears rolled down her face as she walked away from Deer's dwelling. The woman cried for her dead child. The body of the small child was wrapped in a woven blanket and she knew that Deer had thoughtfully dressed the little girl in her finest doeskin dress. Rebecca continued to slowly walk toward the wooden rack that was lying over the fire pit where the body would be burned. Because Red Star was just a small child and her mother was still living in their dwelling there was no reason to burn the dwelling. Rebecca gently laid the child down and knelt next to the pit and she prayed over the child. "Dear Lord, please guide this child to heaven where she will no longer feel pain and forever be at peace." She wiped the tears from her face and turned to ignite the large pile of wood that would burn long and hot to make sure nothing was left of the small child that Rebecca had cared for so much. Once the fire caught Rebecca slowly stepped back from the growing heat and turned to see Deer a few feet away on her knees. Her reaction to her daughter's death was much different then that of her parents. The woman was wailing as the flames reached higher into the sky. She watched as the woman cut several slashes across her arms which Rebecca now knew was an act of morning for a loved one. Rebecca lowered her head as she passed Deer whose face and arms were covered with scabs healing from the smallpox. Rebecca knew that Deer had survived the worst and was now slowly healing, but would be severely scarred. Some would think Deer was lucky to survive, but as she watched the woman morn for her dead child, she wasn't so sure. Losing a child not only took a part of your heart. You lose a part of your soul as well.

Rebecca slowly walked away and headed to the dwelling she shared with White Wolf. She went inside and saw that he was sitting up eating some broth she had made for him. "How are you feeling White Wolf?" She smiled when he looked up at her in surprise. "I wanted to wait until you were more lucid and not delirious with fever before I showed you the few Lakota words I have learned."

White Wolf nodded his head in approval. "You speak well. How much more do you know?"

Rebecca sat next to him and looked over his arms and face as she spoke. "I can speak a few words here and there. Deer was most helpful. She was so patient and I think she has learned a few English words as well." She paused as she laid her hands in her lap. "Red Star passed on this morning."

White Wolf flinched at Rebecca's words. "Dead? I thought she was getting better? Did you not say that when the scabs begin to form the worst is over and risk of death is gone?"

Rebecca shook her head. "No, the scabs must be healing and falling off, not forming. The child was just beginning to form some scabs, but the last time I checked on her I knew she wasn't going to make it." Rebecca shook her head at the awful sight she witnessed when she last checked on Red Star. The little girls face and arms were covered with so many pox blisters they appeared to grow together. Blood oozed from the bursting pimples. She was thankful the child's eyes were swollen shut. She knew she would have been hysterical seeing all the oozing sores. "She died of Black Pox. The worst case you can possibly get. No one survives."

White Wolf shuttered when he remembered what Rebecca had told him about the Black Pox. He looked at his arms and then raised his eyes to Rebecca. "How bad am I?"

Rebecca looked at White Wolf and shook her head. "I think you might fare through this okay. How has your throat been feeling?"

White Wolf nodded. "Good. I feel stronger today then I have in awhile." He set his empty bowl down and reached over his shoulder to attempt to scratch his back.

Rebecca quickly got up and grabbed some ointment from her stash of medicine she had acquired. She gently took hold of White Wolf's hand and shook her head. "Let me put some of this on your back. I know they are uncomfortable, but don't scratch. We don't want the open blisters to become inflamed." She watched him nod his head and climbed behind him so she could rub bear grease on his bare back. Rebecca looked carefully at White Wolf's back and a smile crossed his face. "White Wolf all the blisters on your back are dried and falling off. That is why your back itches, you are healing." She sighed and made a quick sign of the cross before she began to rub the cooling ointment over White Wolf's back.

White Wolf closed his eyes as he felt the soft coolness of Rebecca's hands gently massage his back. He lowered his head as she moved down his lower back and then up to his shoulders. A warm heat began to grow in his loins as he felt her warm breath on his neck and the fullness of her breasts on his back. A soft moan escaped his mouth and he reveled at her tender hands as she caressed his back. He felt her hands travel across his shoulder and down his chest. Her face was mere inches from his and he hesitantly raised his eyes and looked at her soft features. He knew her eyes were brown, but never realized the flecks of gold and green that were there as well. He half smiled when he saw the soft dusting of freckles that covered her cheeks and nose. He had never seen anything like it and wondered if they could be rubbed off. A lock of her hair fell forward, curling into her eye. He raised his hand and carefully tucked the hair behind her ear. There was an intake of breath and suddenly her hands were gone. He looked to see a frightened look on Rebecca's face. His throat became dry and he was unable to speak. He raised his hand to her, but she quickly got up and left. White Wolf shook his head and sighed. He had not meant for that to happen. It however was getting increasingly hard for him to not to notice her. Although he had seen women more attractive than her, the compassion in her heart radiated throughout her being and he felt himself drawn to her like a bee to a flower. He shook his head again. He would have to keep his feeling's hidden. Rebecca was still morning the loss of her husband and he had promised to take her back home. He knew she wanted to return badly after how she talked about it to him a few suns ago. He looked up and took a deep breath. If it was not the will of Wanka Tanka then his feelings would go away. He was a seasoned warrior who had suffered the Sundance, he can control his feeling for a woman.

Rebecca walked quickly toward the river and could hear her heart beating in her ears when she stopped. She turned back toward the village and shook her head. "What the hell just happened?" She looked down at her hands and tried to rub the remaining bear grease off her hands. She took a deep breath and could smell the familiar scent of White Wolf drift up from her hands. She knew that with the intense few weeks and close living quarters it was only a matter of time before something like this would happen. She was hoping the bear grease was making her hands tingle, but as she stood there rubbing them she knew it wasn't from the ointment. What was wrong with her? She was still morning the loss of her husband. She shouldn't be feeling like this. She slumped to the ground and buried her hands in her face. Tears poured from her eyes as she fought with herself to justify the feelings she was having for White Wolf. Wasn't it because he had been sick and he was her only link to returning home? She shook her head in an attempt to clear her head. Everything had changed when Kevin died and she knew she had to do things she normally wouldn't. She pulled her face from her hands. She had killed a man, would she now burn in hell for what she had done? She tried to remember what Fr. Bane had said about killing in self-defense. But was it? She was in no danger of being hurt, but hundreds had been. Wouldn't she have done the same thing if someone had threatened her son? She sighed in confusion. She didn't know much anymore, except she missed her husband. She closed her eyes and remembered the feel of Kevin's hands on her skin. The way he smelt of leather, hay and smoke when he returned from working with the horses. The feel of his hair in her hands when she would kiss him. She wrapped her arms around herself in an attempt to ward off the feeling of wanting to be held. To have Kevin's warm strong arms wrap around her and make her feel safe again.

Rebecca sighed and stood wiping her face dry with her hands. Her life had taken a strange turn when Kevin died. A turn she wasn't sure was good or bad. She straightened her dress and walked back to White Wolf's dwelling. She tossed back the entrance flap and walked in. She looked down at a startled White Wolf and walked over to him and sat down. "I am sorry for the way I acted. I have been through a lot lately and I guess I just don't know how to react to some things. It was nothing you did."

White Wolf looked at Rebecca and his heart softened once again toward her. He reached for her hand and he pulled it up to his face and held it there. His heart began to quicken as she rubbed her finger against his face.

"You always make me feel safe when I am around you."

White Wolf put his other hand to Rebecca's soft face and cupped it in his hands. He leaned his forehead against hers and took a deep breath, inhaling her scent. He moaned when she softly whispered to him.

"Hold me."

It was all that needed to be said and he embraced Rebecca pulling her tightly to him. He stroked her back as he felt her body shudder and the wetness that formed on his shoulder from her tears. He knew she needed a release from all she had witnessed the past few weeks. The few friends she seemed to make were dying right in front of her and the pain of losing her husband was still too fresh in her heart.

Rebecca sniffed and pulled away from White Wolf and began to dry her face with her hands. "I'm sorry White Wolf."

He smiled at her and shook his head. "There is nothing to be sorry for. Do you feel better now?"

"Yes. Thank you. You are a good friend." She cleared her throat and then stood. "I guess I better check on Deer to see how she is doing. She has come so far I would hate for the cuts she has made on her arm to fester and risk a fever again. I will check back in a little while. Is there anything you need?"

"No I am fine. Thank you, Rebecca."

Rebecca walked outside and looked around the small village. Black smoke was still billowing up from the fire that she had started earlier. Her heart pained when she thought of Red Star. The sweet little girl had been so strong through her ordeal. Rebecca was almost relieved when the girl had finally died. She didn't understand how that little girl remained so strong up until the end, but she did. "May you rest in peace Red Star."

Rebecca spent the remainder of the day visiting only the people that were showing signs of being sick. Thankfully, no one had come down with any new symptoms in the past week. Rebecca prayed that the worst was over and just had to wait another two weeks for the rest of White Hawks scabs to fall off. Then they would have to burn the dwellings and continue to the main camp that White Wolf had told her was just about a half day's ride West from here. Rebecca sighed as she walked to the river to wash up. She sat on the bank and watched the sky as the sun began to set. Just a few more weeks and she would be able to see her son again. She lowered her head and prayed the time went by quickly. For her heart pained to see her precious baby.

Chapter 9

The small procession of people that marched into the main camp of the Lakota village was greeted with happiness and relief. Rebecca rode behind White Wolf and looked around to see if there had been any outbreaks of Smallpox in the main camp. Much to her relief her fast action had stopped any chance of it spreading to the rest of the village. She slid off the horse and looked eagerly around for Smiling Woman. A gasp from someone caused her to turn around and saw an older woman looking at Deer. The once beautiful face was now scarred with deep pox marks and the woman bowed her head in shame when her husband refused to approach her. Rebecca could see the hurt on Deer's face and anger began to burn in her chest. How dare he pull away from her! She has been through hell and lost her only child. What was wrong with him? Rebecca felt a strong grip on her arm and turned to see White Wolf holding her back.

"Do not interfere Ree-beka. This is not your place, please come with me. We will find your son."

Her heart was aching for Deer, but Rebecca was eager to hold her son again. She walked quickly with White Wolf as her heart raced in excitement. She smiled when she saw Smiling Woman walk out of a dwelling with a child strapped to her back. "Smiling Woman, we are back." She raced to the woman and embraced the surprised woman.

"You can speak Lakota?"

"Not well, but I am learning more everyday." She peered over the short woman's shoulder and her breath caught in her throat. "I cannot believe how big he is."

Smiling Woman chuckled. "He is a healthy eater. Turtle is having a hard time keeping his belly full." She pulled the cradleboard off of her back and gently handed the child to his mother.

Rebecca took her son and followed Smiling Woman into the dwelling she had just walked out of. Inside she saw Fallen Star and her husband and she smiled to them. "Greetings Fallen Star, Three Stone's. I hope all is well?"

She smiled at their surprised faces when she spoke Lakota to them. She sat down and quickly unlaced her son and nuzzled him close to her. She inhaled his sweet scent and looked up to Smiling Woman. Tears rolled down her face, "Thank you so much for caring for him." She wasn't sure that saying thank you was enough. Her son was fat and happy and she knew that this woman would be a friend for life for what she had done for her.

White Wolf followed Rebecca into Three Stones and Fallen Star's dwelling. He watched as she bonded with her son and he smiled at the two. He knelt next to her and gently ran his hand over the boys head. He kept his voice low as he spoke to Rebecca. "I have a horse you can give Smiling Woman for caring for your son. Would you allow me to do this?"

Rebecca looked up at White Wolf and nodded. "Yes, thank you." She looked over to Smiling Woman and Fallen Star. "You have done a great thing. My heart sings with happiness at being with my son again. You are a true friend."

Three Stones looked at his wife and smiled when she nodded to him. "There is no need. It is us who are indebted to you. You saved our people from this horrible sickness. We thank you."

Rebecca was dumbstruck. They were thankful to her? She looked up at White Wolf and warmth filled her insides. She knew that the sacrifice she made to leave her son with these people wasn't a mistake. They cared for and loved him like he was one of their own and her heart was filled with happiness.

"Rebecca, would you and White Wolf join us as we eat? You can tell us stories of how you beat the sickness and brought our loved one's home."

Rebecca settled Acorn in her lap and White Wolf sat next to her. They talked amongst themselves and laughter filled the dwelling that warmed Rebecca's insides. White Wolf was very gracious and a wonderful storyteller. She nudged his arm on several occasions when he had told the story of how she had mistaken the Lakota word for making water with drinking water.

"Ree-beka handed Otter Runner the bag that held his urine and tried to get him to drink it. She continued to plead with him to drink and she could not understand why he refused." White Wolf bit into a piece of jerky after retelling the story and the entire dwelling erupted in laughter. Rebecca felt her face flush and she lowered her head with embarrassment. White Wolf took a drink and stared at Rebecca over the rim of the cup. She lowered her eyes and a smile crossed her face, their knees were pressed against each other and she placed a hand on his thigh. "I thought you were delirious with fever. How can you remember what happened?"

He leaned toward her and said softly for only her to hear. "I know, delirious or not, if you would have told me to walk on fire I would have gladly done it."

Rebecca felt the warmth of White Wolf's hand over hers, and her insides warmed at his touch.

"Rebecca, now that you have returned when do you plan on traveling back to your people." Three Stones voice rang out over the talking and the dwelling became suddenly quiet. All eyes turned to her.

White Wolf quickly spoke, breaking the awkward silence. "We will allow you to rest a few days before we depart to take you home."

Rebecca paused for a moment trying to think of the right words to say, and just shook her head. She would have to revert to speaking English. "After all that has happened this past month and a half, the only thing I want to do is spend time with my son and get to know him. I am not sure how I will feed him if we leave." She lowered her eyes in embarrassment. "I am not able to feed him, my milk has dried up."

"Do you wish to stay Rebecca?"

"I am not sure I have a choice."

White Wolf lowered his eyes. "I am sure Turtle would accompany us on your journey home. If you want to return to your people, I will make it so." He stood and walked out of the dwelling, leaving Rebecca open mouthed and in shock.

She looked at Fallen Star and Smiling Woman. "What did I say?"

The two women looked at each other and even though they did not understand what was spoken between White Wolf and Rebecca they understood what had occurred between the two. A smile crossed their faces. "He wishes you to stay with us Rebecca."

"Stay? For how long?"

Fallen Star reached over and took Rebecca's hand into hers. "Ree-Becka, how can you not see how he looks at you? He wishes you to stay for good. But he wants you to make the decision because it is what you want, not what you have to do."

Rebecca's heart raced at the confession from Fallen Star. She considered White Wolf a dear friend. The time spent caring for him had strengthened their bond. There was something between them, but she just assumed it was friendship. She wasn't sure she could even wrap her mind around anything like a new relationship.

"He has been without his wife for more than five summers. People say it is time for him to move on and remarry. People do not realize that the hardest part of losing someone is not saying goodbye, but rather learning to live without them. Trying to fill the void, the emptiness that is left inside your heart when they go. He has found someone to fill the void."

Rebecca lowered her head and looked at her son. Filling the void. There was a void, an emptiness in her heart when Kevin died. She never really thought about filling it. She wanted the reminder of that pain. With each passing day that went by it took her further way from when he was with her. She wanted time to stand still, so there would only be a short time from when she was last with him.

She was not sure what she was to do. In her entire life she has never been given the choice to choose her own path. She was a woman and all her decisions had been decided by her father and then by Kevin. Since she arrived here, the Lakota have always asked her what her choice was. How could she make a decision that might affect her the rest of her life? "I have never been given the choice to choose. How do I decide now?"

Fallen Star looked at her husband and then laid a warm callused hand onto Rebecca. "The Lakota are a people of free will. Women are the givers of life and therefor can decide their own fate. Three Stones will speak with White Wolf, but let us show you what it is like to have a choice, a voice of your own. Become a Lakota."

Rebecca stared at Fallen Star. "How does one do that?"

"You will have mentors or guardian's to help you with the history of our people. You will learn our ways and be taught the virtues of a Lakota woman. Once you learn what kind of life you can have, you can then decide if you wish to stay or return to your people."

"How long will this be?" Rebecca was still unsure of what might be the best for her and her son.

"By the time your training will be done it will be spring again and your son will be weaned and can go with you and have no need for concern on how he will eat."

Rebecca looked at the dark hair on her sons head. He was rooting against her chest and her heart ached that she could not give him what he needed. "Yes I will stay. I will stay until spring. I then will decide my fate."

Fallen Star looked at Three Stones and she nodded her head to him. He nodded, stood and left the dwelling in search of White Wolf.

White Wolf nodded his head at Three Stones as the older man explained that they suggested Rebecca stay and be adopted by the Lakota. "I will go speak with my father. This might be something that needs to be brought before the council"

Three Stones nodded his head and grabbed White Wolf's arm. "I will speak with your father. It might be better coming from an impartial party. You return to my dwelling and wait for me there."

Rebecca watched White Wolf enter the dwelling and she returned her gaze to Smiling Woman. The two women began to chat back and forth and time passed quickly as Smiling Woman talked to Rebecca about Acorn. They stopped momentarily when Brave Elk, White Wolf's father came in with Three Stones.

"We are holding a council meeting and you need to be there." Brave Elk nodded greetings to Fallen Star and Smiling Woman before he spoke again. "We request that you attend as well." He was looking directly at Rebecca.

"Me? You want me to be there, but why." Rebecca turned to Smiling Woman when she nudged her.

"Do not ask questions. Just go, this is a great honor they ask of you." She nodded her head to Rebecca and leaned to take Acorn from her arms. "It is best he stay here. I will watch him."

Rebecca looked at Smiling Woman and reluctantly handed her son over to the woman. "Thank you again for watching my son." She thanked her friend and stood and followed Three Stones from the dwelling.

"If you wish, you may sit next to White Wolf and I."

Rebecca thanked him as she followed Three Stones across the busy campground. When they reached the center of the village she noticed a very large tipi. She approached it and gave White Wolf a weary look. "What is going on?"

"I do not know." He nodded his head to Three Stones as they followed him into the dwelling. "Whatever you do, do not interrupt anyone while they are speaking, no matter what is being said. Do not shout, or show that you are afraid. Be honest with them no matter what." He watched Rebecca nod her head as she looked fearfully around. He grabbed her arm and pulled her close to him. "I am here for you. Do not hesitant to look to me for help."

Rebecca nodded her head and sat in between White Wolf and Three Stones. She watched as more and more men came into the dwelling. Some faces she recognized. She noticed Deer and her husband and three others that were with her at the sick village. Her eyes followed them as they looked over at her. She smiled and they nodded their head's. She leaned over to White Wolf and asked what Deer's husband's name was.

"He is called Black Hawk. He is easily angered so please tread lightly if you want to ask questions."

Her heart began race as everyone began to settle in and quietly talk amongst themselves. After a few minutes everyone seemed to be sitting and Rebecca watched as Brave Elk stood.

"Greeting's my brothers. Shadow Dreamer and I have called you all here to discuss the events that occurred with our village the past few moons. We have heard conflicting reports and wanted to hear from everyone what occurred there." Brave Elk watched the faces of the people around him before he continued. "When some of our friends and family left us with the white woman, many were afraid she would cause harm to them. We see the numbers are fewer then when they left and we want to know why. If this sickness was so deadly, why do we have so many survivors?"

Rebecca watched Brave Elk sit and she turned to White Wolf. She nodded to him to let him know she understood what was just said. Her heart was racing and she took a deep breath. Was she supposed to stand and respond to him? She did not want to offend anyone and looked back to White Wolf.

White Wolf leaned toward Rebecca and told her to stand and make sure she addressed everyone with her eyes before she spoke. "Remember not to accuse anyone with your words. Just tell them what happened."

Rebecca slowly stood and looked at each face before speaking. "I want to thank you all for allowing me to join you this evening. Please bear with me, for I am still learning Lakota." She took a deep breath and pulled at her fingers as she carefully chose her words. "When I was a young child I got the spotted sickness called smallpox. I and my brother survived, but my little sister did not. Many people we knew were sick and some did not survive. No one knows why some people die and others do not. I have grown to care for many people here." She smiled to Deer who lowered her eyes when her husband looked at her. "I was deeply saddened when people began to die. My heart still pains from losing Red Star." A few gasps made Rebecca look back to White Wolf who quickly stood. Deer's husband also stood and began to shout and Rebecca cowered back against White Wolf.

"She is evil. She has killed my child and now she tries to pull her spirit back making her at unrest."

"What did I do?" Rebecca looked at White Wolf for help.

"Never speak the names of someone that has died. Doing so will cause them to return to earth and forever be trapped here not allowing them to the after-life." White Wolf turned to Black Hawk and tried to calm him. "Please, calm yourself. Ree-beka is still unfamiliar with many of our customs. She did not know about speaking the name of the dead. Let Shadow Dreamer say a prayer to insure your daughter is still safe and we will move on to why we were called here."

Everyone fell silent as Shadow Dreamer began to pray. He spoke softly and was finished shortly after he began. He nodded his head toward Black Hawk who nodded back and Brave Elk spoke without standing.

"You may continue woman."

Rebecca looked at Brave Elk and had a sinking feeling this man did not like her. She didn't know what she did to offend him, but hoped she would never have to cross him. "I am sorry if I offended anyone. My intention is to explain what happened. I am hoping this will put to rest any thoughts I wanted anyone hurt." They had to know she didn't want anyone to die didn't they? "The sickness, smallpox, is very deadly, but it doesn't kill everyone. No one can tell who will die and who will not until the blisters form. Look at Deer, her face is now scarred from the disease, but White Wolf barely shows any scars on his face." She looked around and watched as the people looked at Deer and White Wolf. "One thing for certain is these two will never get smallpox again."

"How is it that Flower and Walks with a Limp did not get sick? Were they not touched by the trapper?" Black Hawk spoke with anger in his voice as he questioned Rebecca.

"I believe they got lucky. I tried my best to keep the infected people separate, but some would not listen." Rebecca took a deep breath. She must remember not to accuse anyone. "What I meant to say, there were people who believed death with a loved one was better then living with out them. How do you think Deer got sick? She refused to leave her child and in turn fell ill. White Wolf tried to help me care for others and he too got sick. I did my best to keep the sickness away from people. Am I now being punished for trying to give back to the people who have extended their kindness to me when I needed it?" She looked around at the faces and then sat back down. She watched in surprise as Three Stones stood and began to speak.

"I believe I am not the only one here who knows what sacrifices Ree-beka has endured. She killed a man to keep the sickness from infecting the rest of our people. She in turn left her newborn son with my wife and daughter to spare him from getting ill. I understand you are upset and can empathize with the hurt you feel over losing a child, Black Hawk." Three Stones was staring directly at the man and their eyes locked.

"However, I believe that you accusing this woman of witchcraft is not warranted."

Rebecca looked at Three Stones and then at White Wolf. Witchcraft? They thought she was a witch? This was what all this was about? She quickly stood and everyone fell silent. "Black Hawk, I hurt too from the death of your daughter. I did everything I knew, to help her. Please understand I did not want her to die anymore then anyone else there. She was such a sweet and brave little girl. She smiled and was upbeat until the end. You must be very proud of her. If you want to blame someone, blame the trapper. He was the one who brought the sickness here. If I meant harm to the Lakota I would not have stopped him. I would have left the village with White Wolf and traveled home. I stayed. I stayed and helped." She watched in surprise as he stood and left the dwelling.

"You may sit Ree-beka." Brave Elk nodded toward Rebecca and he watched her sit. "I guess we have been fed some conflicting stories. Good thing we have them straight now." He paused and Rebecca watched as he placed a hand on Three Stones shoulder. "Now that the we are clear, the white woman had no reason to harm our people. It has been brought to my attention that she wishes to stay and learn the ways of the Lakota." He paused again as all eyes trained on him. "She will need to have a couple willing to be her protectors and that of her infant son. I will need volunteers to be ready to take her in and begin her training by sundown. Everyone may go." People began to rise and file out the doorway when Brave Elk spoke again. "White Wolf and Ree-beka, please stay seated."

Rebecca looked at White Wolf and then back at Three Stones. "Thank you for what you said."

"You have been a joy to have here and my wife and daughter have cared for your son as if he were their own. We will all be saddened when it is time for you to go." He smiled and placed a warm hand on her shoulder. "You are always welcome here." He stood and left.

"I am sorry for what you had to witness Ree-beka. I did not realize he felt he needed to revenge her death somehow." Brave Elk was sitting across the fire from White Wolf and Rebecca and his physique was impressive for a man his age. His bare chest displayed tight well-formed muscles that showed no evidence of his age. He was a proud man and well respected among the tribe.

Rebecca looked down from Brave Elks glare before she spoke. "I thank you for being understanding. I am glad you see that I only wanted to help." Rebecca looked at White Wolf. "I am on a path I had not expected. I have never been given a choice in any decision of my life except what I was to wear at my wedding. The moment I arrived with the Lakota I am always given a choice. Please do not mistake my hesitation for anything less than gratitude."

Brave Elk nodded his head. "Three Stones speaks highly of you and he is a respected man in this village. He mentioned you wish to stay with the Lakota and learn our ways. Is that correct?"

Rebecca looked at her hands and pulled at her fingers. "I spoke with Smiling Woman and I believe my son and I will do well if we stay, at least till spring."

Brave Elk grunted an approval and a small smile crossed his face. "We all look forward to the journey that lies before you." He nodded to Rebecca. "You may go." He waved his hand to the woman and he watched her leave. He looked at his son and suddenly he was at a loss for words. How close did he really come to losing his eldest son?

White Wolf sat for a moment as he watched his father for a moment. He had an odd expression on his face yet the man did not speak. "Atku', Father what is weighing on you?"

Brave Elk was quiet for a moment and when he finally spoke it was close to a whisper. "Come here my son."

White Wolf stood and walked across the dwelling to the other side of the fire where his father was sitting. His father turned to face him as he sat down.

Brave Elk looked over his son's face carefully and then his arms and chest. "I can see the small white scars on your body. There are so many of them. Did they hurt?"

White Wolf looked down at his healed hands and arms. "No they did not hurt. They were very uncomfortable when I laid down. It was like small stones under my skin. Once the blisters broke it was easier, but then it would itch as the scabs formed and began to heal."

Brave Elk placed a hand carefully on his son's face. He nodded his head and pulled White Wolf toward him wrapping his arms around his son.

White Wolf was caught off guard by his father's affection, but was touched with his sincerity. How long ago had it been that his father had embraced him, he wondered? They sat there a few minutes and finally his father pulled away.

"I will be forever grateful for what the white woman, Ree-beka has done. Under any other circumstance's, I would not allow the white woman to stay. The presence of any white in our lands is a cause of concern. However, she has lost her husband and done so much to help our people. I look forward to her adoption in the spring."

Brave Elk's smile disappeared as he looked at his son face in the firelight. "I do not want to ever think of what I would have done if something happened to you. You are a good man White Wolf and you make me very proud." With that Brave Elk cleared his throat and waved his son away.

White Wolf said a quick goodbye and left his fathers dwelling. He walked outside to the warm summer day. He inhaled deeply, taking in the familiar sounds and sights of the village. How he had missed all of this.

Rebecca sat inside Three Stone's and Fallen Star's dwelling talking with Smiling Woman. She was so excited to be able to communicate with the woman she considered her closest friend. "I do not know how hard it will be for me to get my milk to come again. I have not nursed in over two months."

Smiling Woman reassured her friend with a gentle pat on her hand. "Give it some time. Allow him to suckle several times a day and in no time your milk will return."

"What if it does not come back? What will I do then? I do not want to rely on Turtle to feed my son."

"Rebecca, please be patient. If you cannot nurse, we will determine what to do then. Just enjoy your time with your son. He has missed you." Smiling Woman watched the woman and child, and she was pleased to have been able to care for the child while Rebecca was gone. It filled the ache in her heart for a child of her own.

"Could we go walk down by the river? I have spent most of my time in sick people's dwellings. I could use the fresh air."

Smiling Woman nodded and the two women left the dwelling and headed for the river.

Rebecca walked in silence as she and Smiling Woman went toward the river. A soft giggle came from a thicket of trees which made Rebecca and Smiling Woman stop. They grinned when Morning Sun emerged followed by Kicking Elk.

"Good day for a walk is it not Morning Sun?" Smiling Woman stopped and smiled to her friend. It was plain to everyone that the two had not been on a walk.

"Yes, yes, it is a good day." Morning Sun lowered her head and then giggled when her husband kissed the back of her bare neck. He whispered soft words to her that made her blush and she swatted at him. "Go run to your friends. Talk of the hunt or fighting. I am done with you now."

Rebecca watched the couple and could tell they were very much in love even though they already had three children. She lowered her eyes when a familiar pain in her chest made her think of her husband. Would she always miss him? She wondered if she would ever find someone to love as she had Kevin. She took a deep breath and forced an amused look when Morning Sun said hello to her. "Will you join us Morning Sun? We are headed toward the river."

"Yes, I would like that." She nodded at Rebecca when she realized how well she was speaking. "Ree-beka, you have learned to speak Lakota well."

"I am still learning though. I sometimes get words mixed up, but Smiling Woman is helping me. Deer was a very good teacher too." Rebecca walked between Smiling Woman and Morning Sun as they headed toward the river.

Kicking Elk left his wife with her friends and headed toward where White Wolf's new dwelling now sat. He knew that in a matter of days his cousin would be leaving to take the white woman home. He saw White Wolf sitting outside his dwelling and he smiled as he approached him. "Hello, White Wolf. How soon before you leave for your trip?"

White Wolf looked up to his cousin and smiled. It was good to see Kicking Elk again. "Did you not hear? Ree-beka has agreed to stay and learn the ways of our people. In the spring she will be adopted and become a Lakota." White Wolf watched his cousin sit and pick up an arrow he had just finished putting an arrow tip on.

Kicking Elk looked over to the newly constructed tipi that his wife and her friends had erected for White Wolf when he returned. "I was looking forward to going on the trail with you again. We must find time to do it again."

"It would be nice to do that. Perhaps we can go fishing and you tell your wife that we are going hunting." There was amusement in White Wolf's voice and he nudged his cousin with his elbow.

"I will agree to go only if Blue Feather does not accompany us. If I have to hear him talk about the bird he hit with a stray arrow one more time. . ."

His words were cut off by a fit of laughter from White Wolf. "He insisted it was a clean shot!"

White Wolf leaned against his knees and continued to laugh with his cousin. As their laughter subsided White Wolf realized how much he had missed his family during his time away from camp. A thought occurred to him that although he had returned to his family and friends, Rebecca had not. He turned toward the direction of his dwelling. He could not imagine the heartache she must be going through. Deciding to be adopted by the Lakota would forever keep her from the people she loved.

White Wolf nodded his head and returned to work on his arrows. He was wondering what it would be like for him if Rebecca decided to return to her home. She had become a good friend these past few moons. He enjoyed their talks and how much she seemed interested in everything he did during the day. She always was eager to know about his life and his people. In a short amount of time she had someone managed to become an important part of him daily living. He enjoyed seeing her laugh and spend time with Smiling Woman and Morning Sun. He lowered his head and sighed. He would have to find a way that Rebecca would stay once spring arrived.

He looked up when Kicking Elk grunted and nudged him in the arm.

"Have you had a chance to see your brother? He has been banished from all hunting trips and I see an anger growing in him. Have you decided what his punishment should be?"

White Wolf closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. His thoughts had not traveled far from his brother while he lay in sickness. He knew that whatever he decided it would not end well for Blue Feather. He had done an unforgivable action and the only thing he wished was that his brother accepted the punishment with grace and tried to amend for it. "I have thought hard on what he did. My heart pains that I am the one to decide his fate." He felt his cousin place a hand on his shoulder and he turned to him. "He has lost so much, how can I take away his right to become a warrior."

"You cannot harbor these feeling upon yourself. He made the decision to disobey your orders. We all have gone through what he has gone through in warrior training. Some things will not make sense to him now, but they will in time. You must have faith on that."

White Wolf nodded his head and digested his cousin's words. He raised his head when his cousin called his name

"What do you think is going on now?"

A large group was forming in front of Three Stones dwelling.

"I know Three Stones talked with my father about Ree-beka going through the adoption process. Maybe they are foster parents offering help to teach Ree-beka the ways of our people."

"I am sure you would be willing to show her a few things yourself White Wolf." Kicking Elk quickly dodged the arrow White Wolf threw at him.

"Hush yourself. There are women about. You know how they love to gossip. I do not need Ree-beka to be bothered with teasing." White Wolf glared at his cousin and then smiled. He knew Kicking Elk was only bantering and hoped his cousin did not harbor bad feeling toward him for his scolding. He looked back at the crowd and saw Rebecca come out of the dwelling holding her son.

Rebecca and Smiling Woman had just returned, when Three Stones came in asking her to come outside. She held Acorn in her arms and followed the older man outside. She looked around and was surprised to see a large group of people standing in front of Three Stones tipi. She looked back at Smiling Woman, fear gripped her. Was this another trial for her? Were there people still thinking she was a witch? She felt Smiling Woman next to her and turned to her friend, fear and uncertainty on her face. "What is this about Smiling Woman?"

"Do not fear my friend, Kola. These people have come to offer you their help and become foster parents while you learn the Lakota ways." Smiling Woman gripped her friends hand for reassurance.

Rebecca looked at the large group of people. There had to be at least twenty people standing around the dwelling. "All of these people? I do not. . ." She paused searching for the right words. "Is this usual, for so many people to offer their help for an adoption?"

"An adoption into our clan is an important event. It is much like a birth, a new life is beginning as a Lakota."

Rebecca lowered her head and gently rubbed her cheek against the soft head of her son. It seemed this was going to be a bigger deal then she originally thought. She looked at Smiling Woman when she touched her arm.

"Ree-beka, this many people is not usual. What you see here, with all these people." She paused and looked out to the large group of individuals. "This has never happened before. This is a great honor our people show you."

Rebecca looked out at the strange faces that surrounded her. She watched as they shifted their weight, standing tall and some dressed in very fine clothing. Her heart was racing and she tried to wrap her mind around what she had agreed to do. "What must I do now?"

Smiling Woman looked up to Rebecca. "My father will greet everyone, then each couple will approach you and explain to you why they should be granted the right to be your foster parents."

Rebecca nodded her head and repositioned Acorn in her arms. He was chewing on his fist and pulling at the fringe on her dress with his other hand. She felt a warm hand on her other side and saw Deer standing next to her. Her pox scared face did little to mar her beauty.
"May I?" She held her arms out to offer to take Acorn.

Rebecca smiled at Deer and gratefully handed Acorn off to Deer's welcoming arms.

"Welcome friends and family. May I say that never in my lifetime or one that can be remembered in stories told by the fireside." Three Stones paused and looked around at all the faces. "Have we seen such an outpouring of kindness to adopt someone into our clan." Mummers spread throughout the group, people nodded their heads and some smiled. "I will allow each couple to step forward and introduce themselves to Ree-beka. Then we will ask her to pick a stone as to which couple will be first to foster her."

Rebecca rubbed her sweaty hands against her doeskin dress. She took a deep breath and looked over to Smiling Woman for reassurance. Her friend stepped closer and whispered to her.

"They will be given seven suns to tell you about their family and how you will be ranked in their family. You will live in their dwelling, eat and work beside them as well. At the end of the seventh sun you will then go to the next family."

Rebecca looked over at the large group of people. If there were 20 people here, it meant that she would be living with a new family for over two months! Her heart was racing knowing all eyes were on her. She walked up to Three Stones and stood in front of him. She breathed deeply through her nose, trying to slow her panicked emotions. She felt a warm hand on her shoulder and she raised her eyes to Three Stones.

"Be strong Ree-Beka. You have bared through much worse than this." He squeezed her hand and smiled. "Just pick a stone from this basket."

Rebecca looked at the basket next to him that was covered with a woven blanket. She bent down and lifted the blanket to stick her hand inside. She felt the coolness of several stones inside. Some were smooth, some were rough. There were large ones and small ones. She lifted a smooth stone that fit in her hand like an apple. She looked at the stone and held it up to Three Stones.

"The first couple to be granted Foster care of Ree-Beka is Swift Arrow and his wife Yellow Bird Flying." The village erupted in hoots and laughter. The couple came to the center of the group and stood by Rebecca.

Rebecca looked around at the faces of the villagers and then the twosome that stood next to her. Swift Arrow was a short stocky man that was the same height as her and had a severe limp from his brutally deformed left foot. His wife was tiny and several inches shorter than Rebecca. She looked very frail and dark circles surrounded her large glossy eyes. Rebecca noticed their clothing was worn thin in several area and her heart ached for the couple. Rebecca raised her eyes to Three Stones when she heard him speak her name. She panicked and shook her head in confusion. "Can you repeat that please?"

A few snickers rolled through the on lookers and Rebecca felt embarrassed that she had not been listening to what Three Stones had said. The couple hands were gripped tightly together and she could see perspiration running down Swift Arrows face.

"Do you accept these two as Foster Parents?"

Rebecca nodded her head and released the breath she didn't realize she was holding. She listened as Three Stones spoke about what was expected of the couple to teach Rebecca about being a Lakota woman. They were to protect and care for her as if she were their blood daughter. Rebecca looked at her hands and the stark difference of how they looked now as to when she was back home was startling. Her mind continued to jump from thought to thought. She saw strange faces surrounding her, but none that showed malice or contempt. She knew she had to make this work. Had to do what she needed in order to keep her son alive. If she needed to marry one of the men, which caused chills to run down her spine, she would do it. Acorn was her life now, the only life she still had, a memory of the life she once had and may never have again. She jumped when cheers erupted in the village and Rebecca took the arm of Swift Arrow and followed him to the dwelling he shared with his wife. The tipi was located at the outermost part of the village. It appeared to have no other lodging nearby and she wondered why it stood alone. Swift Arrow pulled the entrance flap aside and gestured for her to go inside. Rebecca looked around one last time and ducked inside the dimly lit dwelling.

"You sit to left." Swift Arrows voice was deep and he spoke with authority that she dared not challenge.

Rebecca nodded and sat down to the left on some furs. She watched as he turned back to his wife and spoke softly to her and held her hand as he guided her inside the tipi. Rebecca's heart softened at the kindness and tenderness he showed his wife. It wasn't until she watched Yellow Bird Flying as she settled herself that Rebecca realized she was blind. She could see the cloudy haze that covered her eyes and the lack of her blinking. Swift Arrow ensured his wife was settled and sat in front of Rebecca.

"We welcome you to our home. We are honored that you would allow us to teach you the ways of our people. We have asked to become your foster parents in hope that you may chose us to be your family. We are all that is left of our family. Both our parents are passed and my wife is an only surviving child from her parents. I had two brothers, but they were killed during a hunting trip in which I also obtained the injury to my leg."

Rebecca knew enough from talking with White Wolf and Smiling Woman that although he had stopped speaking it didn't mean he was done. She nodded her head to him to indicate he could continue.

"My wife and I have lost seven children shortly after they were born. Our home remains solitary because we do not have any family."

Rebecca lowered her head at the realization that this poor couple had lost so much, yet were probably outcast to the edge of the village because of their misfortune and no one wanted their bad luck to happen on them.

"We do not have much, but we have faith in the Great Spirit that what we have experienced is preparing us for a greater purpose. My wife cannot see with her eyes, but can see much more then she could ever see before she lost her sight. She will teach you the virtues of a Lakota woman."

"And what do you know of these virtues my heart? You only know there are 4, and that is as far as your knowledge goes."

His thick brows furrowed, giving his face the look of a permeant scowl. He looked at his wife and his expression softened and a small smile crossed his face. "You are right, I do not know much more than that. I will leave you two to talk. White Wolf and Kicking Elk have spotted a small herd of elk to the south. I will join them." He stood and Rebecca quickly turned her gaze when she realized he had bent down to place a soft kiss on his wife's forehead. "Until our next meeting my love."

"Do you realize you hold your breath when you are nervous?"

Rebecca looked at the tiny frail woman sitting next to her. She then exhaled slowly, trying not to give evidence that she was indeed holding her breath. "I did not realize. I am sorry."

"Do not apologize my child. As my husband spoke to you before, I can see things others cannot. So, I know you hold your breath when you are nervous, or uncomfortable, just as you pick at your fingers and shuffle your feet when someone speaks to you." She reached out her hand and squeezed Rebecca's.

"Although I have been here for close to two moons I know that I still have a long journey ahead of me. I am grateful so many people wish to teach me the ways of the Lakota. I am honored that you and your husband chose me."

"It is our honor Ree-Beka. You are the Life Keeper."

Rebecca looked at her surprised. "I am what?!"

A small chuckle erupted from Yellow Bird Flying. "Yes, you know how to keep life to those that would pass without your guidance. You keep them close to the light and away from the darkness of death. You have strong medicine Ree-Beka. We are all honored you have been brought to us." She paused and placed a hand on Rebecca's chest. "Breathe."

Rebecca exhaled and spent the remainder of the night listening to her new foster mother. She explained how a woman raises with the morning sun and greets each new day as she would the birth of a child. Full of new adventures and things to learn. She listened with interest as things were explained and told the importance of each thing she did. The village worked because everyone worked together and looked out for each other. No one went hungry, because no one had excess. Rebecca realized there were no levels in their society. No upper class and no poor. How did they rank themselves? Was there anyone who strove for more, who wanted things to be better? If they did not have different levels in their society, why were they at the outskirts of town? Why did they look so thin and their clothing was worn more than anyone else in the village?

Rebecca had been raised in a wealthy family. She knew what it was like to have everything she ever wanted. She wondered what it would be like in this new world she had agreed to try.

Chapter 10

White Wolf walked from his tipi toward his fathers and paused when he saw his brother coming toward him. His brother's head was hanging low and didn't see White Wolf until he almost ran into him. "Good Morning to you my brother." When White Wolf's brother looked up at him, his breath caught. Blue Feather's eyes had dark circles under them and they were blood shot.

"What is so good about this day?"

White Wolf was speechless. He was unsure of what to say.

An anger exuded from Blue Feather and White Wolf took a step back.

"Father has called for me, I must go."

White Wolf watched his brother head toward their fathers lodge and he turned to follow him. He paused for a moment and thought about his brother's appearance. What had his brother been up to that would cause him to look the way he did? White Wolf stepped into his father's tipi and waited for his eyes to adjust for a moment.

"Greetings my son, please sit."

White Wolf took a few steps to where his father indicate that he sit. His brother sat across from him. His head was bowed and his shoulders slumped. He had never seen his brother look so defeated. "Greetings father, what reason do you summon me to your home?" He turned his gaze to his father, and waited for his reply.

"I, along with the other red shirt wearers wish to settle this rift between you and your brother. Neither of you have benefitted from this ordeal and we have met and decided that a punishment shall be dealt out promptly so everyone can finally move forward."

White Wolf sighed and gave a silent prayer of thanks. He would not have to be the one to decide on a punishment for his brother. He slowly turned his gaze from his father to his brother.

"We have decided that you, Blue Feather must become the protector of Ree-Beka. If you had not killed the white man she would not be at our mercy for shelter and food. You will hunt for her and protect her until she has returned home to the whites or until she remarries."

White Wolf saw a look cross his father's face, but before he could decide on what it might mean, the look was gone.

"Your punishment for disobeying an order from your hunting party leader is that you will not be able to perform in the Sundance."

Blue Feather's head shot up at this and he stared wide eyed at his father. White Wolf looked from his brother to his father in stunned surprise. If he was not allowed to perform in the Sundance, he would have to carry his childhood name for another year. He would have to wait until he gained approval from the Red Shirt Wearers before being granted permission to perform in the Sundance.

"Why do you do this? Do you have no compassion?"

A chill filled the dwelling and White Wolf knew that Blue Feather had spoken too much.

"No compassion?" White Wolf stared at his father and he saw an anger rise in him as his neck and face became red. "I have watched my youngest son disgrace his name and his families honor because he felt that a life of a white man had no meaning. He went against all his training and knowledge of a warrior and went off on his own during a hunting party. Then, when the woman he had widowed comes to me and begs for his life stating that enough lives have been lost and destroyed, my son then asks me, do I have no compassion? Yes, my son I do. For if I did not, I would have killed you where you sit." He closed his eyes for a moment, before opening them again he cleared his throat. "You may leave me and I am to never be questioned about this ever again."

White Wolf looked across to his brother and they both stood and left the tipi in silence. He followed his brother for a few moments, but decided that leaving his brother alone, might allow him to calm his anger and see that the punishment that was inflicted on him was a mild one. Only time would tell if his brother could live with the decisions or not.

Several days had gone by since Rebecca moved in with her foster family. She was instructed to help out and do the same hard, backbreaking work as the other women in the village. Rebecca felt the work was extreme, but she did not want anyone to think she could not do the same as everyone else. She awoke at dawn, nursed Acorn as best she could and if he was still hungry she would allow Turtle to nurse him. She would then secure him into his cradleboard and would go into the woods with Morning Sun, Fallen Star and Smiling Woman. They would gather wood, roots and herbs that would be used throughout the day. Morning Sun was very helpful on describing the root or herb. Explaining what it was called and what it was used for. Later, she would go to the river to wash clothes and fill the water bags. When she had finished helping with the morning meal she would sew and mend clothes. Rebecca occupied every moment of her day with some type of work. She figured the harder she worked the easier things would be and she would spend less time thinking of Kevin.

Every day she learned something new about the Lakota people. How they lived, worked and survived. Morning Sun was always helpful toward Rebecca. Her kind, sweet voice always made Rebecca smile. Although Rebecca still could not speak Lakota fluently, she was learning new words every day. Rebecca considered Smiling Woman one of her closest friend's here. She was so patient with Rebecca and always had a smile for her whenever she felt drained or defeated from the day's work.

When Rebecca first arrived here, she didn't know what to expect. So many things were different and she didn't think she could survive without Kevin. To her surprise, she actually enjoyed living here with the Lakota's. She grew up in a busy town and her parent's ranch was right on the outskirts of town. There was always some type of noise from the railroad, gunshots or thudding cattle on the run. Here it was quiet and peaceful. She felt stronger and more a part of the community. Everything she did helped the entire village, not just one person or family. Her thoughts were more on her work and her son and less on Kevin.

The evening was quickly becoming Rebecca's most favorite time of the day. She would eat supper with her foster parent's and then go visit with White Wolf. They would sit outside by the fire and talk. White Wolf would tell her about his culture and help her with her pronunciation of words. He would tell her stories about the creation of the earth, sun, stars and of man. Many of the tales he told her, reminded her of the fairy tales and nursery rhymes she heard as a child. Rebecca listened intently to White Wolf as he explained to her how man was created. He was a natural storyteller. She would stare at White Wolf as his face became animated as he brought the accounts of his peoples creation to life. She understood why the Lakota loved stories so much, they told such fascinating ones. It wasn't uncommon for others to stop and listen to White Wolf. Usually by the time the fires died down there were sometimes 15 people sitting with them. "White Wolf I love that one so much. You are going to get tired of me asking you to tell it to me."

White Wolf shook his head and smiled at Rebecca. If all he had to do was tell her tales of his people to keep her next to him, he would talk forever. Strange how things happen in life. He had loved a woman he thought was his forever mate. He felt a part of him died with her. Then a woman, who is known by his people as an enemy, makes him laugh and smile like he had never done before. He had always been so dedicated to being a warrior and son to the Chief, that he didn't realize how fun life could be. Rebecca had made him realize it. "Ree-beka you can leave Acorn here and visit with your friends."

Rebecca turned to White Wolf as she stood and attempted to put Acorn onto her back. "White Wolf I am only going to Morning Sun's. She has some new beads she wants to show me."

"I will watch Acorn, you go and visit." White Wolf stood and gently pulled Acorn off her back.

Rebecca smiled and leaned over to White Wolf and gently touched his face and reveled in its warmth. White Wolf quickly pulled back and his face showed anger. She looked at him confused and reached for him again.

White Wolf shied away from her advance and stared angrily at her before handing Acorn to her and entering his dwelling. His mind raced as he paced the floor. How could she be so disrespectful toward him by showing affection toward him in public? His anger grew when Rebecca stepped inside.

"White Wolf, did I do or say something to offend you?"

"Ree-beka, you know open affection is not accepted by my people."

Rebecca was clearly agitated when she answered him. "How would I know that? No one has ever told me anything like that."

White Wolf closed his eyes and brought his hand to his temple. Her foster parents should have explained to her how a Lakota woman should behave in the presence of a man. Rebecca had still so much to learn, one week was not enough time. He would have to speak with his father or Three Stones on lengthening her time with her tutors.

Rebecca quickly turned and ran to Smiling Woman who was sitting outside her teepee. Her friend looked up from her sewing and asked Rebecca if there was a problem. "Smiling Woman, can I speak with you please?"

Smiling Woman stood and went inside the cool interior of her home. Once inside, Smiling Woman tied the flap shut, indicating she wanted privacy. She returned to Rebecca and took one of her hands. Rebecca noticed how rough and callused Smiling Woman's hands were from years of hard work. Rebecca was a little embarrassed of her still soft hands, and gently pulled them from her friend's grasp. Smiling Woman spoke softly to Rebecca. "What troubles you my friend?"

Rebecca swallowed and looked at Smiling Woman. She was her closest friends in the village, and she felt she could tell her anything. "I do not know where to begin. To be honest with you, I am not sure what really happened. White Wolf and I were talking and he offered to watch Acorn for me while I visited with Morning Sun. I thanked him and then he suddenly got upset. I got frightened so I came here. Tell me, what did I do wrong?"

Smiling Woman sat a moment, thinking before she spoke. It was always custom to wait a few moments before answering a person. It showed respect toward the person speaking. "How did you thank White Wolf?"

"I touched his face with my hand."

Smiling Woman shook her head and smiled. Rebecca still had a lot to learn. "Rebecca, a woman is not permitted to touch a warrior unless they are married, and only then in the privacy of their dwelling."

Rebecca shook her head in disbelief. She had always used a tender touch toward her father and other close friends. She thought it strange that women were not allowed to show their affection toward loved ones in public, except their children. Rebecca considered White Wolf a dear friend and knew she would have to be cautious. "I feel I need to apologize to White Wolf then. Thank you for being so patient with me. I will be back after I apologize." Rebecca stood with Acorn and left her friend.

Smiling Woman shook her head as Rebecca left. She had seen the hurt look on her friend's face when she told her why White Wolf had become upset with her. She knew her new friend was beginning to care for White Wolf, and it warmed her heart to see the new affection they shared.

Rebecca walked through the village and before heading to speak with White Wolf she went to the tipi she shared with her foster parents. She grabbed the water bag and headed for the river. Her thoughts soon traveled to her parents and Kevin's family. She realized, as she watched the sun descend behind the mountains, that she missed them very much.

Rebecca hadn't really realized how different her way of life was from the Lakota until her misunderstanding with White Wolf. She thought for a moment and decided that she just wanted to fit in. Rebecca thought about what she could say to White Wolf to clear up the mistake she had made earlier. Her thoughts began to drift away when she gazed at the serenity that surrounded her. She really loved the peace and quiet here, but knew she had to return home soon. Kevin's mother and sister didn't even know he was dead. When she got back home her mother would insist she remarry so Acorn would have a father and someone to provide for them.

Tears formed in her eyes and began to fall down her face. She was so confused about what to do. If she stayed here, would she ever see her family again? And if she returned home, would she be shunned because she had lived with Indians? What was she going to do? Her vision became blurred and more emotions began to surface the harder she fought her tears. Rebecca buried her face in her palms and cried until she felt the ache in her heart lessen.

When she regained her composure, and looked around, she realized the sun had set. Rebecca knew Yellow Bird Flying would be wondering where she was. She had always come back to her dwelling well before dark. She checked on Acorn and carefully began to walk back toward camp. She did her best to stay on the path, but there was no moon yet and seeing was difficult. She walked through the woods, trying her best not to make any sounds. Yellow Bird Flying had spent a long time teaching Rebecca how to walk without making any noise with her footsteps. She showed her that she must step lightly with the ball of her foot first and then her heel. It felt so strange walking that way, it still did. She however, was determined to walk like her foster mother had instructed. Just as Rebecca's mind returned to the present she noticed she hadn't reached the clearing to the village yet. She stopped and her eyes scanned the forest. She saw only darkness until the moon came and filtered through the treetops. Her heart began to race when she saw someone come out from behind a tree. "Who's there?" There was no answer. The figure came running toward her. Frightened, she took off running. She pushed branches out of her way and jumped over a fallen tree. She ran as fast as she could hoping to lose the person behind her. Her mind went crazy when she hadn't reached the village yet. Where had she run? She slowed her pace and scanned her surroundings. She didn't hear anything and her ears began to ring at the unfamiliar silence. Had she finally lost whoever was chasing her? Suddenly cold steel touched her throat and her arm was pinched back behind her.

"Keep your mouth shut or I'll slit that purty throat of yours."

Rebecca forced herself to remain calm as the man pulled her backwards towards him. He breathed hot air on her as he trailed the sharp knife from her throat down to her waist.

"Got something sweet hiding in there for me squaw? I've been watching you for sometime. Finally got my chance to get you alone." He pulled her backwards and she stumbled over things in the darkness. Her eyes scanned her surroundings the best she could in the moonlit darkness. Her mind raced with thoughts of trying to scream or attempted escape. The man held her so tight against him she could barely move anything but her legs. Then realization hit her, she could still use her legs!

In one quick motion she kicked at his shin and pulled her arm out of his grasp. She screamed, ran toward the direction of the river and hoped someone was near enough to hear her cries. Her heart was pounding in her ears, making it difficult to know if he was gaining on her. Suddenly she was knocked face down to the ground and the man straddled her. He tied her arms tightly behind her, pulled her to her feet in a quick motion, which made her neck snap back. Acorn began to cry as the man pulled her toward a horse she had not noticed was there before.

"Shut that papoose up or I'll do it for you!" He pulled a gun out of his waistband and pointed it at the squawking baby.

"I can't do it with my hands tied behind my back. I need to comfort him." Rebecca was scared beyond anything she had ever felt before. This man was threatening her life and that of her son. Not one single person in White Wolf's village had ever been so vicious.

"I'll do something better." In one swift motion the man had backhanded Rebecca and she slumped to the ground unconscious.

Chapter 11

Rebecca awoke to someone nudging her. Her eyes slowly opened and it took a few moments to register what happened. She was lying on a hard dirt floor. She looked around and noticed she was in a cabin. She scanned her surroundings and noticed a man standing over her.

"About damn time you wake up. Get your ass up."

Rebecca slowly began to sit up and her head throbbed in pain. She held her hand to her head for a moment and took a few deep breaths. Pain exploded at the side of her head as she was thrown backwards by the man's fist.

"I told you to get movin, now get your lazy ass up, you squaw." He leaned down, grabbed Rebecca by the hair and threw her toward the table that was across the room. She crashed into it and crumbled to the ground. "Looks like that red skin was right about you. You are a pretty one, guess I got lucky."

He walked over to her and pulled her head back with a fist full of her hair. "Looks like you have a few things to learn about obeying your masta." A few kicks to her side made Rebecca scream and the man laughed when she retched on herself.

Rebecca huddled in a ball on the floor trying not to breathe too deeply. She felt a crack on the man's last kick to her ribs and she was sure they were broken. She was in so much pain she wondered why she was still conscious. She spit blood onto the dirt floor and tried to focus on how she could get away from this madman. She felt herself being lifted up by her arm as the man pulled her towards him.

"It won't be long before your begging for my touch." He grabbed her face in his hand and squeezed until she screamed. She quickly raised her knee up between his legs and he released her and he fell to his knees. "You bitch!"

Rebecca stumbled backwards and fell onto her butt by the fireplace. The man was getting to his feet again, and Rebecca looked nervously around to find a weapon. She screamed as the man lunged at her. His eyes were wild with rage and he straddled Rebecca and smashed her head on the floor several times. Her body went limp and she welcomed the blackness that engulfed her.

A distant mumbling slowly pulled Rebecca from the blackness she was in. Her head throbbed with pain and she slowly rolled onto her side. Tears rolled down her face, as pain seemed to emanate from every part of her. What had she done do deserve this? The smell of cooking meat made her stomach growl and she wondered how long she had been out. She lifted her head from the ground and looked through swollen eyes to the man by the fireplace. "How long have I been here?"

"Two days." He stood and walked over to her and bent down to her. He grabbed her chin and turned her face from side to side. "You better clean yourself up. There is dirt is some of those cuts." He handed her a wet rag and a mirror then walked out of the cabin.

Rebecca sat stunned for a few minutes unsure what to do. Why was he so concerned with her now? Wasn't he the one that did this to her? She slowly took the mirror up to her face. Rebecca was shocked that the image she saw was her own. Both her eyes were swollen and bruised. Her nose was obviously broken and dried blood covered it and her chin. Small cuts covered her face and neck and she already knew she had broken ribs. She took the wet rag and gently wiped at her face. The coolness felt good and she sighed a bit. It wasn't until that brief moment that she realized Acorn wasn't with her. Her mind was so hazy as to what happened when she was taken that she couldn't concentrate. Rebecca looked up when she heard the door close and saw her capture standing in front of her.

"You hungry?

Rebecca nodded her head and cleared her throat before speaking. "Where is my son?" Her words were muffled by her severely swollen lips that she was unsure if he understood her.

"I left him at the river. Don't worry the child will be found by one of those Indian's. You be wise to do what I say from now on."

Rebecca nodded as she gently felt the back of her head. "What are you going to do with me?" She wasn't sure she wanted to know his answer, but was hoping to get some information on what to expect from her capture.

"Nothing more then what the Indians' did to ya. I need someone to cook and clean for me as well as warm my bed at night."

Rebecca slowly raised her eyes to the man and bile rose in her throat. She would kill herself before she would allow this vile man to touch any part of her. He stared at her with lust on his face and chills ran down her back. He was visibly dirty and she wondered when the last time he bathed. His dark chin length hair hung in his eyes and when he ran his fingers through it she shuttered to think of how greasy it must feel. He took a few steps toward her and Rebecca cowered back and covered her head with her arms.

A deep laugh filled the room as he watched the woman cower when he approached. "Looks like you are a quick learner. Just a few more days and I think you will be primed and ready for anything I have to give you." He grabbed at his groin and laughed when he saw her cringe. "Don't be scared of Jesse's baby maker. None of the other women were. Just one time and you'll be begging for more."

Rebecca closed her eyes and prayed that someone from camp would find her. White Wolf, Smiling Woman and Morning Sun knew that she would not have left Acorn alone for any reason. Rebecca raised her head when she heard Jesse clear his throat.

"I never asked your name? What is it?"

"Rebecca."

"Jesse Timothy Humphrey III at your service." He bent at his waist in a sad attempt to act like a gentleman. "Been livin up in these parts for about four years now. Haven't seen hide nor hair of any white folk till I spied you a few weeks back at the river. Damn if you ain't a sight for sore eyes."

Rebecca wiped at her face trying to get the dried blood off as she spoke. "If you are so sure I am going to be happier with you, why did you have to beat me?"

"I don't need to answer any of your questions. This is how it's gonna be whether you like it or not." In just a few steps he was pulling Rebecca to her feet and threw her toward the table. "Set the table, dinner is ready, and I'm hungry."

Rebecca stumbled but caught herself before hitting the table. She was hunched over from the pain in her side and slowly began to set the crude looking table. It took her longer then usual to get the table ready. She began to shake when she thought Jesse would strike out at her. She watched him sit down and began eating the meat he had cooked. Rebecca stood staring at her hands. She was so lost and confused as to what to do. She didn't know if she could sit or if she should stand and wait for him to tell her what to do. Rebecca's stomach began to turn and she could feel the bile burning at the back of her throat. She slowly took a few steps toward the water pump and watched the look on Jesse's face. He lowered his eyes back down to his food.

"I suggest you sit your ass down if you know what's good for you."

"I think I'm gonna be sick." Rebecca had no sooner said the words than her stomach contents spilled from her mouth. She collapsed onto the floor retching uncontrollably. She could hear Jesse cursing behind her and just when she felt her stomach begin to subside everything went black.

Rebecca was awakened by cold water being poured over her. She sat up and coughed as she tried to gain her wits about her. It only took her a few seconds before she remembered where she was.

"You are more trouble then you are worth. You are the one whose supposed to be doing the cleaning, not me. You got sick all over yourself and now my cabin stinks."

Rebecca could barely keep her eyes opened from the pain in her head. She wished he would just kill her and get done with it. She wasn't sure how much more of his attacks she could take.

Jesse dragged Rebecca away from the mess on the floor and began to unfasten his pants. He knelt down in front of her and smiled as he pushed her dress up to her waist. "I was hoping to save this till later, but looks like I will be having you for dessert." He pulled at his pants and pulled himself out and began to caress it. "I've been waiting for some soft flesh like yours for some time."

Rebecca was in so much pain that she could barely turn her head away from Jesse's kisses. "Please, don't do this."

"Don't do what? Take what I deserve for putting up with you. You belong to me and I take what I want."

Rebecca was desperate. She knew she couldn't fight him off, but had to try something. "Let me clean myself up first. I want to look and smell pretty. Can I do this for you?" Her heart was pounding so loud in her ears and she was unsure if he had answered her. He continued to drag his hand across her stomach and leaned down to place sloppy wet kisses on her inner thigh. Rebecca held back her screams as she squeezed her eyes shut. "Please!"

"Oh hell, I guess you could use a bath. You stink worse than a pig that's rolled though shit."

Rebecca slowly opened her eyes and saw Jesse standing and pulling his pants up. He threw a blanket at her and pointed to a basin in the corner of the room. "You can use the tub there and make sure you clean the floor when you're done. I will be outside this door so don't try nothin'."

Rebecca dropped the blanket and walked over to the tub. She covered her mouth and turned away when she saw the bloody bones of an animal inside it. It was quite obvious that he never used the tub. She knew her time was limited and searched the cabin for any kind of weapon.

"Okay, times up."

Rebecca turned wide eyes toward Jesse. "You're back so soon." She saw his eyes scan over her and watched as his face turned red.

"You're not even undressed yet. What the hell are you doing in here?"

Jesse came at Rebecca with such force he knocked her to the ground. She knew she had gone too far and prayed that he would kill her quickly. His hands wrapped around her throat, squeezing tighter and tighter. Tears formed in her eyes as she clawed at his hands. This was not how she wanted to die. She did not want to leave this earth without seeing her son again. Unexpectedly she felt a newfound strength. Surprising him, she used her knee to push at Jesse's chest with all her power. He released his hold on her neck and flew back. Rebecca rolled on her side coughing and gasping for the sweet air she had been denied.

"You bitch! I'm gonna kill you."

Rebecca turned to face Jesse as he lunged at her. She grabbed the iron poker from the fireplace and watched in surprise as the poker pierced through his chest. Rebecca watched in horror as Jesse slid to his knees, looked down at the iron rod protruding from him and coughed up blood as he slowly sank to the ground. Rebecca scooted away from the dying man, watching his blood cover the floor and his eyes slowly shut.

Rebecca attempted to stand when a sharp pain ripped through her side. She knew she possibly had broken ribs, but this was a different kind of pain. She looked down at her side, bright red blood soaked her dress and a large hole in it, indicated she had been cut during the struggle. She covered the gash with one hand as she slowly struggled to stand on wobbly legs. She reached the man, looking at his still form wondering if he was dead. Rebecca blinked her eyes several times trying to fight the blackness that threatened to overcome her. Leaning over the body she saw a large bloody hunting knife by his hand. Reaching down, she picked up the knife and gripped it as tightly as she could. She would not allow this man to ever touch her or any woman again. The blade was exceptionally sharp as it sank into his still warm flesh. She plunged it into his lower back, right into his kidney. Dark, red blood spurted out of the hole that was left from the blade as she staggered towards the door and out of the cabin.

Rebecca squinted her eyes to the bright morning light. How long had she been here? She had been unconscious most of the time, but estimated it to be around three days. Rebecca's entire body was in pain as she took slow steps toward the back of the cabin. Her ears constantly rang with each labored breath she took. Rebecca wasn't sure how far she could travel in her condition. She walked to the back of the cabin, surprised to find Jesse's horse. It stood in a small lean-to that wasn't much shelter from the elements.

Rebecca took small slow steps toward the horse. Its eyes were wild with fear and she talked soothing words to calm the frightened animal. She was sick to her stomach with how this man treated his horse. Several wounds were infected with bugs and needed to be cleaned. She sighed and shook her head. This animal was in no condition to walk, let alone carry her. "Come on boy, lets get you untied and see if we can get these cuts cleaned up a bit." The horse seemed to know that she wouldn't hurt him and followed her without hesitation. Rebecca walked to the creek a few yards behind the cabin. She saw trash and animal scraps in the creek and shook her head in disgust. "Maybe the water is cleaner up stream. Do you think you can walk a bit more?" The twosome walked further up stream where Rebecca spent most of the morning cleaning the horse's wounds. Knowing this animal was defenseless against any predators, she decided to take him with her. She walked toward the west, hoping that she would eventually come across White Wolf's village. If she didn't, she prayed she would come across someone that would help.

Chapter 12

White Wolf slowed his horse when he and Kicking Elk approached a small cabin that was west of their village. They had been out looking for Rebecca for the past five days, how did they not notice this cabin before? There was the smell of death in the air and the two looked at each other knowing they should be careful. Cool winds came down from the mountains and tickled White Wolf's bare chest. His arms raised in goose bumps as he walked toward the cabin door. He and Kicking Elk had left immediately after Smiling Woman approached him carrying Acorn. The straps of his cradelboard had been cut and a small cut above the child's right eye told White Wolf all he needed to know. A white man had taken Rebecca. No Lakota or anyone from their surrounding area, would leave a child alone for any reason. They were very sacred to his people and guarded above all else.

White Wolf slowly went inside the dwelling and looked around. He only remained inside for a short time and quickly left. "There is a dead Wasichu in there.I do not see sign of life anywhere else. Is it possible Ree-beka was taken by this man?"

Kicking Elk nodded his head. "I believe that this could be who took her. Perhaps Ree-beka was able to shoot him and escape."

The two walked back inside and looked around. The stench from the bloated carcass was causing bile to burn White Wolf's throat. He knew from the living habits of this man that the cabin would smell just as bad even if he was not dead.

"White Wolf look here, I have found something." Kicking Elk was looking at the dirt floor of the cabin and examining it closely.

"What have you found?" White Wolf bent down next to his cousin and noticed there were a few foot prints visible in the dirt.

"Here is proof that she was here." White Wolf smiled when he recognized the imprint of the unique feature of the Lakota's moccasin. His heart began to race with excitement that they were close to finding Rebecca. He turned to look at the dead man again and nodded his head. "She must have put up a good fight with the Wasichu. Do you think she might be injured?"

Kicking Elk stood and looked around some more before walking out of the crude looking cabin. He went to the back of the dwelling and saw a small lean-to. "I think she might have taken the man's horse." He followed the tracks to a small creek that was behind the cabin and bent down to examine the tracks.

White Wolf followed his cousin and listened to him as he spoke. Kicking Elk was a very skilled tracker and White Wolf knew if someone needed to be found, Kicking Elk would be the person to find them. He watched his cousin for a few minutes and his heart lurched when he heard his cousin sigh. "What is it? What have you found?"

"White Wolf I believe Ree-beka is gravely injured. Theses are her tracks. Her strides are short and one foot drags a bit." Kicking Elk bent down to show the evidence in the wet dirt that ran along the creek. "She did take the animal, but is not riding it."

"Not riding it, Why?" White Wolf was becoming anxious for answers.

"I do not know. She is walking slow, so may be able to still find her."

White Wolf nodded his head and looked at his surroundings. "You know Strong Bear's village is west of here. They may have a hunting party about and might have seen something. Maybe we should check with them, they might be able to help us."

Kicking Elk nodded to his cousin and they both headed back to their horses. "I still can not believe that this white man's cabin was so close to our village and we never noticed it before."

White Wolf nodded his head in agreement. "I will have to speak with the elders when we return and discuss this. Our women and children could be at risk while we are away on a hunting trip."

Kicking Elk nodded his head. "Let us concentrate on finding Ree-beka and pray she is not mortally injured." He smiled when he saw the strange look on White Wolf's face when he spoke of the white woman. He knew what the expression meant, but kept his comments to himself. There would be time for teasing later.

Rebecca didn't walk far before she needed to stop for a rest. The horse nuzzled its head against her back as she leaned against a tree. "I want to sit so badly, but I am afraid I would not be able to get back up. I will only rest for a bit and then we will be on our way." Rebecca knew the horse couldn't understand her, but she felt better talking to it. She was close to passing out and was hoping that by staying on her feet she could avoid it. Much of the afternoon and early evening she walked as far as she could and rested by leaning against a tree. By dusk, Rebecca was delirious with pain and was barely walking. She leaned her back against a tree and she slid to the ground as her legs gave out on her. She sat for a few minutes wheezing in her efforts to breathe. The lack of oxygen soon took its toll and she welcomed the blackness that promised relief from her agony.

Warmth covered Rebecca like a cocoon and the smell of sweet grass filled the air and she slowly opened her eyes. She was home! White Wolf had found her! She focused her eyes at the figure hovering by the fire and strained her eyes to see clearly. "White Wolf. Thank you so much for finding me."

"Hush little one, you have suffered much. Drink this and go back to sleep."

Rebecca did her best to drink the warm thick liquid that warmed her insides. It didn't take long before she fell back into an exhausted slumber.

A second figure emerged from the back of the dwelling carrying a bowl mixed with crushed herbs. The old Medicine Man walked up to the white woman and knelt beside her. He added warm water into the herbs and then carefully began to spread the mixture onto the wound at her side. He turned his gaze from the woman, to his friend of many winters. "Strong Bear, I do not think it wise that we keep this woman here. It is evident she belongs to the Lakota's. I believe we should have a runner go to their village to ask if they are missing a white woman."

Strong Bear turned his head from his friend to the white woman who laid unconscience on his sleeping mat. "Can you not tell that this woman has been severely beaten? I cannot willfully send this woman back to the place that has done this to her."

Dancing Star shook his head in disagreement, but refused to challenge Strong Bear. As head chief of their elder's society, Strong Bear had a strong influence on many of the men. He knew it would be a waste of time to challenge his friend's decision. He was confident that this woman had not beaten by anyone in the Lakota village. The men of that village were known for their gentle ways. There had to be another reason why they had found her in these conditions. He watched as Strong Bear talked softly to the woman as he bathed her sweaty brow. He had seen this once before many, many summers ago. "Strong Bear this woman belongs to someone else. Keeping her for yourself will not ease the pain you still feel in your heart."

Strong Bear kept his eyes fixed on the woman as he angrily spoke to his friend. "You have done enough. I will call for you if I need you. Good night Dancing Star." Strong Bear turned and watched the medicine man leave and sighed a bit. He turned back to look at the delicate woman that lay on his sleeping mat. Even though her face was cut, bruised and swollen he could see her beauty. He would keep her safe and away from harm. No one deserved to be treated like this. Strong Bear stood and walked to the fire and sat. He picked up his pipe and began to smoke as he watched the woman sleep. His mind was filled with ideas of how he could keep the woman for himself. He knew she would not take the place of his wife, but she could be a nice replacement.

Several days had passed and Rebecca was slowly recovering from her injuries. It was early in the morning when she had realized she was not in her foster parents dwelling. Rebecca stared at the strange Indian that handed her a bowl of liquid. She cautiously took the bowl and relaxed a bit when he smiled at her. "Who are you? How did I get here?"

Strong Bear sat back and nodded his head. "It is custom to finish eating before asking questions. I believe you have not lived with the Lakota long?" I am Strong Bear, chief of the elder society with the Dakota's, a sister tribe of the Lakota's. My friend and I were out hunting five suns ago when we came across you and your horse. We could save you, the horse, we put down. You have been here ever since."

Rebecca slowly took a sip of the warm liquid as she listed to Strong Bear. When he finished she raised her eyes and looked and his kind face. "You speak English very well. How did you learn?"

"I was once married to a white woman. She died many summers ago. You are the first person since her death that I have spoken English to."

"Well she was an exceptional teacher, you speak it very well." Rebecca saw him smile and lower his eyes. "I know this may sound odd, but you look very familiar to me. Have we ever met before? Perhaps at the Lakota village?"

Strong Bear stood and walked to the white woman's side and took the empty bowl from her out stretched hand. "Many of the Oglala tribes gather together during the summer. It is possible you saw me then."

Rebecca nodded her head and carefully ran her hands over her face. She cringed as she felt her swollen and cut face. She considered it a blessing that there was no mirror around for her to see her distorted features.

"If you are up to it could I ask you a few questions?" Strong Bear watched her nod and look at him with interest on her face. "I do not know your name."

Rebecca shook her head in embarrassment. "I'm so sorry, my name is Rebecca. I am thankful for your help Strong Bear."

He nodded his head before he spoke again. "How is it that we found you so far from the Lakota village? The horse you had was not one of theirs."

Rebecca pulled her hand up and placed her fingertips over her trembling lips. Her eyes began to water and she looked up trying to keep her tears from falling. "I was taken by a white man when I was at the river. He left my infant son there and I don't know if he is even alive." Rebecca's tears began to run from her eyes when she thought of Acorn. "It was thoughts of my son that kept me alive."

Strong Bear leaned forward and took Rebecca's hand into his. "I am sure he is safe. I am more worried about you. How did you get away from the man that took you?"

"I am still unsure of how I got away myself. I happened to get a hold of an iron poker and stabbed him. I then used his hunting knife to take his life from this earth." Thoughts of her kidnapper filled her mind and Rebecca inhaled several times trying to calm herself. Her broken ribs were keeping her from taking the deep breath she needed and soon black spots danced before her eyes.

Strong Bear worked for several minutes to help Rebecca, but to no avail. In seconds she was unconscious. He figured it was the best thing for her and decided she needed the rest. With Rebecca's confirmation that no one from the Lakota village did this to her he went to talk to some of the other village elders. They would send a runner informing the Lakota they had the white woman and wanted to know the status of her son.

Chapter 13

White Wolf and Kicking Elk entered the Dakota's village just as a runner was riding out. They watched the young man ride quickly past as they headed toward the center of the village where they knew they would be met by the village sentry. Moments passed and soon a boy who looked to be about 15 summers greeted them. White Wolf nodded and shook hands with the youngster. "Greeting's. I am White Wolf and this is my cousin Kicking Elk. We are from the Lakota village and have been traveling for many days. Could you spare a place for us to rest and maybe fill our bellies?" White Wolf looked at the young man as he nodded his head and took the reigns of their horses.

"You can go to Dancing Star's dwelling. He and his wives will welcome you and your cousin."

"Thank you, your generosity means a great deal to us." White Wolf watched the boy take their horses to be fed, and watered. He walked with his cousin to the dwelling the boy indicated to them. The Dakota village was similar in size to White Wolf's village. All the homes faced East, so when everyone woke they greeted Mother Earth. They were just about to enter when they heard loud voices coming from inside. An older man came outside and said a few words before stopping when he saw White Wolf and Kicking Elk. "Good day to you. Are you Dancing Star?" White Wolf was hoping this wasn't the man he was sent to see.

"Yes, I am Dancing Star. Who may I ask are you?"

The older man had white braids that hung to his waist and was possibly the largest man White Hawk had ever seen. "I am White Wolf and this is my cousin Kicking Elk. The sentry told us to come to your dwelling for food and lodging."

Dancing Star turned to the entrance flap and barked a few orders to whoever was inside and then sat down. Two women soon came out with their arms full of food. "These two women are my wives. This here is Woman of the River, she is my second wife." Dancing Star pointed to a young woman that had a single thick braid down her back deep set eyes and thin lips. She emptied her arms and smiled as she rubbed her largely swollen stomach. "And this lovely piece is my first wife, Blue Bird."

White Wolf and Kicking Elk looked at Dancing Star's older wife who was helping the younger woman sit down. Then returned to the dwelling and came out carrying more food. They must have been quite obvious with their surprised looks that Dancing Star began to laugh.

"What can I say, I love to eat and my wives love to cook. I dare not eat one's cooking and not the others. If you two are married, you know the worst thing you can do is offend your wife by not eating what she has cooked." Dancing Star laughed heartily and his whole body shook as he reached for bread and meat. "What brings you both this way this time of year? We are not scheduled to camp with the Lakota's for a few more moons."

White Wolf took a long drink of water and then passed to Kicking Elk before he answered. "A woman from our village was taken by a white trapper several suns ago. We finally caught up with the trapper, but she is nowhere to be found. We are hoping that someone might have come across her or heard of someone that has." White Wolf saw the color drain from Dancing Star's face as he pounded on his chest. "Are you okay Dancing Star?"

The Medicine Man nodded and coughed a few times before speaking. "Just took me by surprise is all. We just sent a runner to your village."

White Wolf slowly swallowed the meat he was chewing and raised his eyes to Dancing Star. "Why did you send a runner to my village?"

"Well we have the woman here. She has been here about five suns, and we wanted to make sure she survived before sending any word."

White Wolf was on his feet in seconds. His food was instantly forgotten and spilled from his lap onto the ground. Blue Bird began to scream, as Dancing Star tried to dodge her swings while he attempted to clean up the spilt food.

"Where is she? What do you mean you wanted to make sure she survived? Show her to me!"

"She is in Strong Bear's dwelling at the west side of camp. It is the largest dwelling in camp. Calm down Blue Bird, he did not do it on purpose."

White Wolf left the ranting's of the Medicine Man and his wife and he quickly ran through the village toward Strong Bear's dwelling. His heart was pounding and his chest burned as he dodged small children and clusters of chatting women. He slowed as he finally set eyes on the dwelling and quickly walked up to the entrance. Strong Bear was walking out and looked surprised to see White Wolf.

"Did you come across the runner we sent?"

"We saw him leave when we arrived. Kicking Elk and I have been searching for her and happened to come by your village for rest and food. Strong Bear, is it true? Do you have her in your dwelling?"

Strong Bear lowered his head and nodded. "If you speak of the white woman with fire colored hair. Then yes she is here."

White Wolf felt lightheaded from the relief and excitement that filled him. "Please, take me to her."

Strong Bear nodded and White Wolf followed him as he walked back to his dwelling and held the entrance flap aside.

"Thank you Strong Bear."

The older man smiled as he watched White Wolf enter his dwelling. He hummed to himself as he walked to Dancing Star's dwelling and joined them for dinner. He sat next to Kicking Elk and nudged him with his elbow. "I suspect there will be a wedding at the Lakota village in the near future."

Kicking Elk looked at Strong Bear and then at Dancing Star. "Was it that obvious to all of you?" The two men smiled and everyone erupted into laughter.

White Wolf felt relief and happiness fill him when he stepped inside the dimly lit dwelling. When his eyes adjusted to the light he saw Rebecca lying on her side with her back facing him. "How are you Re-beka?" He watched as she slowly turned to face him and he saw her badly beaten face. Anger surged through him as he quickly walked to her and knelt down. "Ree-beka, I am ashamed that I could not protect you from this cruelty. If the man was not already dead, I would take great joy in making him suffer." He reached out his hand and gently touched her swollen and bruised face with tenderness. His eyes traced over Rebecca's face and down her body. He looked at her neck and arms and grimaced at the bruise marks left from her attacker's hands.

In all his life he had never seen injuries of this extent caused by another human being to a woman. White Wolf's heart pained as he looked at her face. Small cuts were scattered across her face, none were very deep, which made him happy that her beautiful face would not be scarred. Her nose was visibly broken and her right eye was almost swollen shut. He wanted so badly to take her pain away, but all he could do was hold her hand. Suddenly a new fear crept through him and made his skin prickle. Tears were slowly running from the corners of her eyes and White Wolf took a deep breath to calm himself.

"Ree-beka, did that man hurt you, in other ways I cannot see?" He almost didn't want to know the answer. What would it change? The man was dead and she was here with him safe.

Rebecca closed her eyes at the memory of the man trying to force himself on her. She tried to calm herself, before she burst into tears again. She slowly shook her head and she heard White Wolf sigh.

"I am so sorry Ree-beka. I made a promise that you would be safe in my village. I am ashamed that I did not honor my words."

Rebecca had watched White Wolf's expression as he looked at her beaten and bruised face. She saw only tenderness and concern. She was surprised at how happy she was that he was here. "I have always felt safe in your village White Wolf. You must remember a white man did this, not a Lakota."

White Wolf smiled at Rebecca and he yearned to kiss every bruise and cut on her beautiful face. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

Rebecca nodded her head. "Can you tell me that my son is okay? I do not know what happened to him when I was attacked. I just woke up and he was gone."

"Smiling Woman has been taking good care of him. You do not need to worry about him, he is safe."

Rebecca raised her eyes to White Wolf and smiled the best her injured face would allow. She looked at White Wolf and stared into his deep brown eyes. Something had changed between them. The way he touched her was different then before. He gently caressed where he laid his hand and trailed his fingertips across her skin. To her surprise she became excited at his touch. "White Wolf, what is happening to us?" Her bottom lip trembled as she waited for his response.

"Nothing has happened Ree-beka. Everything is as it always was."

Rebecca lowered her eyes, hurt by his response. She quickly changed the subject. "This means a lot that you came looking for me."

"Why would I not come looking for you? You have done so much for me and my people. Your safety is my duty as a warrior."

Rebecca lowered her eyes at White Wolf's response. It was his duty to come after her. Why had she hoped it was anything more? Didn't White Wolf prove to her he didn't want that kind of attention from her? "When can we head back to your village?"

"We will stay here a few more sun's until you are well enough to travel. Then we will have a grand feast welcoming you back."

Rebecca pulled at her fingers as she tried to take a deep breath. "So nothing has changed since I left?"

White Wolf looked strangely at Rebecca. Nothing had changed? He did not understand what she meant by her question. He shook his head and watched her for a few moments as she twisted her fingers together.

Rebecca thought for a moment and realized that it was close to the end of August. She had been away from her family for over 18 months and a widow for over two. She had been enjoying her time with the Lakota's, but if she was going to stay permanently she wanted to know that White Wolf felt the same way she did.

"I will let you rest. I will visit with you later. Sleep well Ree-beka." He leaned over and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. Then stood and left.

Rebecca fought back her tears. The entire time she was held captive her thoughts were of White Wolf finding her. Something had changed when that man took her. Something inside her made her realize that she cared deeply for White Wolf.

No! She wouldn't do it. She was not going to put herself through the hurt again of losing someone she cared about. Losing Kevin almost destroyed her. She was not going to love again and chance that same kind of hurt. All she had to do was get better and wait until spring and instead of completing her adoption she would ask to be taken back home. The Lakota village was big, she could find many things to keep her busy. White Wolf was only a friend and nothing more.

White Wolf stepped outside to the cool afternoon and took a deep breath. Thoughts of his talk with Rebecca filled his mind. He had felt warmth in his stomach at her mention of his village being home. Did she really think of his village as home? He knew she had changed her words at the last minute, but he knew it. She wanted to stay, and that made him energized. He knew that if he wanted her to stay indefinitely he would have to prove to her he would take care of her.

Rebecca awoke from a gentle nudge and she slowly opened her eyes. She saw Strong Bear leaning over her and she slowly tried to sit up.

"Be still little one, I just came to see if you were hungry."

Rebecca carefully rubbed the sleep from her eyes and looked around. "How long did I sleep?"

"I believe you slept through the night. It is good you sleep, it will give your body time to heal." He turned back to the stew that was on the fire and carefully spooned some out for Rebecca. "Your friend White Wolf came by earlier to visit with you, but I sent him away. Since you are awake now, would you care if he came in for a visit?"

Rebecca took the bowl from Strong Bear and looked and the stew. Her stomach growled as the smell drifted up to her. "Let me eat first. I am not the neatest eater lately and I do not need him watching me spill my food all over."

Strong Bear smiled at Rebecca. He could tell she was embarrassed to be seen by White Wolf in her condition. In a few days she would look and feel better and the two would be traveling back to the Lakota village. "I will tell White Wolf I will send for him when you are ready for visitors." He watched her as she slowly opened her mouth to feed herself, knowing her jaw was still sore from the blows she had taken.

Rebecca nodded her head and watched Strong Bear leave. She sighed and set the bowl down. She was hungry, but the attempt of trying to eat was too painful and she lay back down. She closed her eyes and thought of her son.

"Are you up for visitors?" White Wolf stepped inside the dwelling and walked over to Rebecca. "Strong Bear told me you wanted to eat alone, but I feel better when I can keep my eyes on you."

Rebecca rolled on her other side and put her back to White Wolf. "Please leave me. I am not up for visitors."

White Wolf's smile faded and pain was evident on his face as he stared at her back. He walked to her and knelt beside her. "Ree-beka? Have I done something to make you angry with me?"

Rebecca closed her eyes and clenched her hands. "I am in a lot of pain and would rather be alone."

"Please do not push me away Ree-beka. I hurt as much as you do for what happened." He gently pulled at her shoulder to make her face him. "I keep thinking I will wake up and you will be gone. I need to feel you, convince myself you are safe."

Rebecca was too weak to stop White Wolf as he pulled her up and wrapped his arms snugly around her. She laid her face on his chest and could hear his heart beating. The warmth from his chest made her face tingle and she relaxed against him. "White Wolf?" She paused, unsure of what to say.

White Wolf slowly leaned back as he traced Rebecca's soft lips with his fingertip. "I believe we are showing feelings for each other."

"Is this wise?" She inhaled deeply when she felt White Wolf's warm touch trail down her neck.

"Ree-beka, I feel I need to prove you will always be safe with me." White Wolf sighed as he pulled her chin up and placed a soft, gentle kiss at the corner of her mouth. His head was suddenly spinning and his body engulfed with a fire of hunger he had never possessed for anyone before.

This kiss ended abruptly when Strong Bear entered the dwelling. Rebecca sat quietly with her fingers on her still tingling lips trying to control her breathing. She turned hurt eyes to White Wolf when he nodded his head to her and told her he would check on her again when she was done eating. He asked Strong Bear if he could speak with him and the two left in silence.

Chapter 14

Lillian helped Colleen set the table for breakfast as she hummed softly to herself. The smells coming from the kitchen made Lillian's stomach growl and she looked at the clock in the hallway for the time. "Odd that Matthew isn't down yet. Colleen, finish setting the table while I get Mr. McIntyre."

"Ma'am, I can get him for you."

Lillian shook her head at Colleen. "Nonsense it is not necessary for you to do that. I will get him moving faster than you can anyway." Both women laughed a bit before Lillian headed out of the dinning room toward the stairway.

Matthew wiped the remaining shaving soap off his face with a wet towel while he examined his newly shaven face in the mirror. He combed his graying hair and mustache and nodded to himself in approval. "Not bad Matthew, not bad at all."

"Good Morning handsome."

Matthew smiled at his wife's comment and turned to face her. "Am I starting to slow down in my old age, dear?"

"Not at all, I was just hoping I would catch you without your shirt, or maybe your pants." They both laughed as Matthew pulled his wife into his arms and placed a warm passionate kiss on her lips that trailed down to her neck. Lillian sighed in response and raised her leg up, which Matthew grabbed eagerly.

He pressed his body into his wife's and could feel his body responding to her moans. Matthew spoke between kisses, trying to calm himself and his wife. "We should rethink this. It isn't even noon yet."

"Matthew, please don't stop. I want you, need to have you." Lillian words were cut off by Matthew's passionate kiss that left her breathless. They eagerly began to shed their clothes and dropped to the floor in a mangled entanglement of clothes and bodies.

Matthew leaned over his wife and stared down at her glowing face. "You are like a drug. I can never seem to get enough of you." He leaned in to kiss her once more before their bodies joined, when a knock at their door stopped his advance.

"Who in their right mind would be disturbing us?" Lillian whispered breathlessly in her husband's ear as she continued to place kisses on his face and neck.

The voice that was heard from the other side of the door was Colleen's. "Sorry to disturb you, Mr. McIntyre but there is someone at the door. The gentleman said he would only speak with you. Said it was very urgent."

Matthew lowered his head in defeat. "Sorry love, but looks like this will have to wait till later." He quickly kissed his wife and stood to pull up his pants, which had remained around his ankles. Matthew watched his wife get up from the floor and slowly sway her way into their dressing room. His eyes followed her naked form until she disappeared around the corner. It still surprised Matthew that his wife was just as hungry for his touches as she was when they were courting over twenty years ago.

He finished dressing and walked to the door to head downstairs. He turned when his wife called his name.

"I'll just wait for you here." Her devious smile was accompanied by a wet lick of her lips as she patted the bed.

Matthew laughed and ran quickly to the bed and placed a quick kiss on her moistened lips. "Don't go falling asleep on me now. I'll be back up as quick as I can." He pulled away and watched his wife recline back on their bed and begin to stretch. "Damn it all, this person better be Jesus Christ himself." Matthew ran from the room in attempts to rid his body of the growing heat that he felt in his confined pants.

"Good morning, ladies. Fine morning isn't it?" Matthew greeted his cook and housekeeper with a smile as he walked past the dining room to the front parlor. Both women covered their smiles and hushed their giggles.

"Morning Mr. McIntyre." Both women sang their greetings as their boss paused and turned to them. "Colleen, where is the visitor you said wanted to see me?"

Colleen stepped forward towards Mr. McIntyre. "He's waiting outside sir. Refused to give me his name so I told him he could wait out in the cold." She lowered her eyes and walked back into the dining room and headed for the kitchen.

Matthew shrugged his shoulders and walked towards the front door. When he opened it, a cold blast hit him full force, causing him to take a step back. There was a man standing by the steps with his back towards Matthew. "Can I help you with something?"

"Mr. McIntyre, sorry to disturb you at this hour, but I have some very vital information I feel you would like to hear." The man turned and faced Matthew and stepped forward tipping his hat up so Matthew could finally see his face.

"Why, Mr. Murphy, I'm quite surprised to hear from you so soon. Come inside, out of the cold." Matthew stepped aside to allow his guest inside. "Can I take your coat and hat?"

"No I'm fine. This will only take a minute. Sorry I was so rude to your housekeeper earlier, but as you know I work undercover and didn't want anyone to know I was in town. I would prefer you not speak my name out loud, don't want to jeopardize my investigation."

"Sure, I understand. What information do you have for me?" Matthew walked with Mr. Murphy through the hallway and into his office where he shut the door behind them.

Lillian huffed in frustration at her husband's lengthy absence. She got up from the bed and walked to her dressing room to put on her dressing robe. She pulled her dress up from the floor and noticed it would have to be ironed again if she wanted to wear it. Instead she went to her armoire and pulled out a plain cotton skirt with a calico top. She finished dressing and headed down stairs to eat the breakfast she had abandoned earlier. When Lillian reached the first floor she looked around for her husband. "Colleen, have you seen Mr. McIntyre?"

Colleen nodded her head towards the back of the house. "Been in there almost an hour. Can't figure out what is so important to let my eggs benedict get cold." Colleen turned in a huff and returned to the kitchen as Lillian walked back to her husband's office. She leaned as close to the door as possible with out pressing against it. She frowned when she could only hear muffled words behind the thick wood door.

"Ma'am, you can hear much better in the kitchen's pantry." Colleen's words surprised Lillian and she squeaked out a startled yelp.

"Colleen, you scared me half to death. I didn't even hear you walk up."

"Over the years I have learned which boards squeak. If you want to hear what is being said, I suggest you go to the kitchen." Both women smiled at each other and quickly walked to the pantry in the kitchen.

Matthew clasped hands with his guest as he escorted him out of his office. "I really appreciate you coming all the way out here to give me this information Mr. Mur…What was the name you used again?"

"Just call me Murtaugh. It seems to be the easiest for people to remember. If you have any questions you can go to my office and leave a message with my assistant."

Matthew nodded his head and showed the man to the door. Once his visitor was gone he headed to the dining room for his forgotten breakfast.

"Matthew, could I speak to you for a moment?"

The sweet sound of Lillian's voice sparked Matthew's memory from earlier. He turned to his wife with a hungry smile and grabbed her into his embrace. "I say we go back upstairs and finish what we started earlier." He leaned over his wife and hungrily began kissing her neck.

"That would be fine, but first I want to know what that man told you about our daughter?"

Matthew pulled away from his wife and gave her a strange look. "What ever do you mean my love?"

"Matthew I have been married to you for over twenty-seven years, do you honestly think I don't know what is going on? This man is someone you hired to find our daughter and I want to know everything he told you."

"That might not be such a good idea, Lillian."

"Let me be the judge of that. I am a grown woman you know." Lillian stuck her chest out toward her husband and before she could ask any more questions Matthew had whisked her up into his arms and began to carry her upstairs toward their bedroom. The entire time he was placing hot kisses on her neck and mouth. Lillian's thoughts became jumbled and soon she gave in to her husband and figured they could talk later, much later.

Chapter 15

Rebecca awoke before the sun rose and spent the time thinking of her son. She knew he was being well taken care of, but her heart yearned for Acorn. Her mind was filled with thoughts of all that had happened the past few weeks. She hadn't realized her feelings for White Wolf were so strong, until now. She was so confused about what she should do. She grabbed a clean dress and slowly headed toward the river to bathe.

When Rebecca reached the river she carefully undressed, and walked into the still warm water. Most of her bruises were starting to yellow and the swelling in her face was going down. Her ribs were still very sore and she knew it would take time for them to mend. The Medicine Man had taken small strips of soft leather and wrapped them around her broken ribs. It wasn't until last night when her bandages were being changed that Rebecca noticed she had a wound at her side. She realized that the handle of the iron poker must have cut her when she used it against her attacker.

Rebecca wrapped her arms around herself and sighed. The warm water felt so good that she didn't want to get out. She decided to wash her hair again and when she finally staggered out of the river her skin was wrinkled and itchy. She grabbed her buffalo robe, wrapped it snugly around her and watched the sun rise.

"It is truly a beautiful sight, is it not?"

Rebecca jumped at White Wolf's words and quickly turned to him. "I truly believe you enjoy scaring me."

"In more ways than you know." A devious grin crossed his face as he gestured to Rebecca to allow him to sit with her. "I thought you were told that you were not allowed to go anywhere alone?"

Rebecca nodded her head and turned back to the sunrise. "I guess I took a chance that it wouldn't happen to me again. Plus, I didn't want to wake anyone this early."

"We are planning to leave sometime this afternoon. It will take us a few days to get back. Are you sure you want to leave now? In two moons we will be joining Strong Bear for our winter camp."

Rebecca leaned her head on White Wolf's shoulder. "I am sure I want to leave. I miss my son and I just want to be back with my friends." Rebecca lifted her head when she felt a nudge from White Wolf. He smiled at her, and she knew he was trying to comfort her.

White Wolf took his finger and gently ran it down the bridge of Rebecca's nose. The slight curve and bump that was now evident from it being broken did nothing to mar her beauty. "I feel like many things have changed between us."

Rebecca slowly stood and gathered her few belongings before turning back to White Wolf. "What exactly do you think has changed between us? You have told me several times nothing has changed. We are friends and that is it." She lowered her eyes and walked back toward camp without saying another word. In a short time, they would be returning home again, where her son was waiting for her.

White Wolf watched her leave and it pained his heart. If she meant nothing to him, why would he have come after her? He would not constantly follow her, just to make sure she was safe? He cared very much, so much it scared him.

Rebecca and White Wolf had been back with the Lakota for two weeks and Rebecca had lived with two more couples. The only things she felt that she was learning was how to speak Lakota more fluently and how to be a dutiful wife. Her entire life she was taught how to dress, act and speak in the presence of a man. All these things were what made her a proper wife and mother. Was that all women were good for?

Rebecca felt she was the happiest when she was with her son. The time she spent with Smiling Woman and Morning Sun were good distractions as well. They kept her very busy with sewing, tanning and cooking. Rebecca looked over at Acorn sleeping and ran her hand across his chubby brown face. She was surprised at how dark he had become from his time in the sun. A rustle caused her to divert her eyes from her son and saw White Wolf entering her dwelling.

"Ree-Beka will you please join me by the fire outside?"

She turned to look at Buffalo Standing and he nodded his head in approval. Rebecca followed White Wolf outside and saw that he was carrying wood for making arrows. Somewhere nearby, a flute was playing and Rebecca picked up her mending. They both sat in silence working as Rebecca began to hum along with the tune.

White Wolf smiled to himself when he remembered the young warrior who sat outside a dwelling where a young maiden lived whom he had chosen as a bride. It was a soft melody that made anyone who heard it to stop and listen. White Wolf had closed his eyes to listen to the tune the young man played. It had brought him back to a time when he had played his flute for his first love. The young warrior's singing confessed his undying love for his bride-to-be. White Wolf opened his eyes when he heard a gasp from Rebecca. He turned to her and saw her staring off with a glazed look.

"That song, I have heard it before. I did not know what the words meant when I first heard it." She paused and her hand covered her mouth. Her voice barely a whisper "I understand it now."

White Wolf watched tears roll down her face and his heart pained for her. He reached for her, but stopped when she began to speak again.

"He is telling her that his love for her is unconditional. He loves her more than there are stars in the sky. His life would be lonely and worthless without her. Just as the earth needs the sun and the sky needs the stars, he needs her in his life." Rebecca's tears continued to fall down her face and she turned toward White Wolf. She spoke the last words of the song in a hushed voice. "My love for my people is great. They are a part of my body and heart, but you are a part of my soul. Together we will be one forever. We will be one."

She looked down at her left hand at the wedding band she still wore. She pulled it off and read the inscription inside. She read it out loud; still unable to believe what she just discovered. "We will be one forever."

Rebecca looked at White Wolf with tears glistening in her eyes. "He lied to me White Wolf. We were married for three years and every day of it was a lie." She covered her face with her hands as sobs racked her body. She wasn't sure how long she cried, but when she felt White Wolf's hand on her back, she looked up. His dark obsidian eyes showed nothing but concern.

"Ree-Beka what is the lie you speak of that hurts you so?"

Rebecca sighed and wiped away the wet stickiness left from her tears. "That song that boy was singing, Kevin sang that to me several times while we were courting. He told me it was a Gaelic love song his father used to sing to his mother. But it was not! It was not a Gaelic love song, and he was not white, he was Indian! He made every effort to hide that fact. Everyone in his family lied to me and just used me to hide his little secret. I bet the elite society of Winchester, Kentucky will be surprised to find out that the Donnelly's are not what they appear?"

White Wolf flinched at Rebecca's harsh words. Did it sicken her that much that her dead husband was one of his people?

Rebecca saw the surprised look on White Wolf's face and knew she had to explain herself. "White Wolf, I mean no disrespect. I love your people and this beautiful country I have called home these past months. I just cannot believe that he lied to me. He did not believe in my love for him that I would have looked past this. Our whole relationship was built on trust. Why did I have to find out like this? It is not fair that he is not here so I can ask him why he lied and betrayed me. He is not the same person I loved so much." She took her ring and clenched her fist around it. "Can you please watch Acorn for me? I need to be alone right now."

The pain on her face was evident and White Wolf said nothing as she stood and left him.

Rebecca walked slowly through the village toward the river. She passed several women gathering water and young children swimming. She found a spot away from all the laughter and looked up to the sky. Tears formed in her eyes again and she angrily rubbed them away. "I cried my last tear for you, Kevin. I am saying goodbye forever. Do you hear that Kevin? I will not spend one more minute of my life crying over you." Rebecca sighed and lowered her head. She didn't hate Kevin, she never could. However, what she just learned hurt her deeply. She didn't understand why he had to lie to her. "I would have loved you regardless, Kevin. Why did you have to lie to me?"

"Sometimes lies are meant to protect someone, not to hurt them."

Rebecca jumped at White Wolf's voice and quickly turned to him. He stood a few feet away leaning against a tree. "Why did you follow me? I asked to be alone."

"I understand that, but I also told you that you were not allowed to walk outside of camp alone. Ree-beka I do not want to go through losing you again."

Rebecca nodded her head and watched White Wolf as he held Acorn. Her son reached out to White Wolf's face and grasped at his mouth and nose. She smiled and a warm feeling crawled over her that made her pain ease a bit.

White Wolf smiled down at Acorn and placed a kiss on his head as the boy pulled at White Wolf's necklaces. "Life should not be wasted on hatred, when a lifetime is too short for love."

Rebecca walked up to White Wolf and took Acorn into her arms. "I do not hate him, I am just hurt. He was the father of my son, he will be with me, always."

White Wolf nodded and walked ahead of the two as he headed back to the village.

Rebecca followed behind White Wolf and followed him until they reached the dwelling she was now living at. He nodded his head to her and she walked inside the quiet dwelling. She laid Acorn down and sat.

Her foster father had left the dwelling when she came in and she sat in the empty dwelling listening to the silence. She sat quiet for a moment before she began to talk out loud.

"Kevin, when you died I hated you. I thought that if you really loved me you never would have died. You left me alone with our son and I felt like I could never forgive you for that. I now know that I can, but the lies you told to conceal who you really were, that I cannot forgive." She smiled down at Acorn and gently touched the top of his head as he pulled at the beads that hung from the neckline of her dress. She closed her eyes for a moment before she continued.

"Although I vowed to love you always, I can no longer honor my vow. I am left in a marriage of one. You made me become the memory holder of our life for our son. Every day that goes by, my memories of you fade a little more. It isn't fair to myself or our son that I mourn you the rest of my days. I need to move on with my life, and that is what I intend to do." She picked Acorn up and held him close to her. She placed kisses on his forehead and inhaled his sweet baby scent.

She turned her head when she heard a scratch at her entrance flap. She allowed the visitor to enter and was happy to see it was Smiling Woman. "I am pleased to see you, please sit with me" Every night Smiling Woman would visit with Rebecca and go over her duties of a Lakota woman.

"Ree-beka, many of us cannot forget the selfless thing you did for us when Grizzly tried to infect us with smallpox. You have proved to us all that you are brave and have a big heart. These virtues are what my people treasure above all else." She leaned closer to her friend and held her hand tightly in hers. "I am honored you are here and I can call you friend. I feel I am closer to you then I have been with anyone since I lost my Kola"

Rebecca looked at Smiling Woman surprised. Her best friend or Kola was White Wolf's dead wife. The term was not used lightly among the Lakota, it was reserved for only special bonds between two people, almost like blood brothers. A bond that carried on past death. "Smiling Woman, I am touched. I did not realize I meant that much to you." She lowered her eyes and looked at her hands. "I did not have many friends growing up and the few I did have I was never really close to. I think they only hung out with me because our fathers were part of the same horse club." Rebecca felt the warm hands of her friend on hers and she looked up.

"You are a special woman Ree-beka. You are honest and trust worthy. I know if anything happened to me or anyone else in this village you would fight to the death for us. How can anyone not see that beauty in your heart?"

"I guess it is because the people back home do not see those things. They only see how much money you have and where you rank in society's elite. You know I do not care anymore if I ever go back to that life. When my husband died I felt so alone and isolated. If I was back home I would be forced to wear black for an entire year and not be able to participate in anything fun. Where I come from women do not exist without men in their lives. A non-married woman has no voice and is basically non-existent."

Smiling Woman stopped and looked at Rebecca. "Lakota women are cherished for many things. The main reason is we are the givers of life, how can any man compare to that?"

Rebecca looked at Smiling Woman and smiled. How she cherished this woman's friendship. For the first time in her life she would be making her own decisions. Not being told who she could talk to or be with. She even got to choose who she wanted to be her parents. This was the life she always dreamed of, a life of choice.

Smiling Woman hugged her friend and reassured her that the life of a Lakota was the true path in life. All women were taught from childhood how to be an independent person. However, as independent women it was their choice to allow men to hunt and fight for them. In time she would understand the ways of her people and only needed a little guidance to help her decide who would best help her in her journey.

"Come let us walk. We can continue your teachings outside as I show you how everything around us is a gift from the Great Spirit."

The two women stood and Rebecca followed Smiling Woman out to the busy camp. She watched children play and women working on tanning hides, cooking or mending. Rebecca turned to Smiling Woman as she spoke and pointed things out to her. She absorbed all of the new information like a sponge and was eager to learn as much as she could. These people opened their hearts and home to her and she was eager to prove to them she would not be a disappointment.

Chapter 16

September, 1801

The only sound in Rebecca's ears was the howling wind . Everyone in the village stood quietly, waiting for the Medicine Man to finish his silent prayer. At her left was Three Stones, and Fallen Star was at her right. They were the couple Rebecca had chosen to become her parents. The past two months had gone by very quickly and Rebecca had learned so much from everyone. Each couple she had spent time with had been very kind and willing to do everything they could, to immerse her into their culture. It was a very hard decision for her, but Rebecca had finally decided on Smiling Woman's parents. Throughout her training, she was told by several people that family was the most important thing among the Oglala people. Each couple who opened their home to her had children that were grown and many even had grandchildren. Smiling Woman's parents had only one child and she was not married. She felt they were the most deserving to have another child and new grandson. Her first choice had been Yellow Bird Flying and Swift Runner, however the sweet woman had passed in the night a few days prior to her final adoption. Her husband had been inconsolable and blind with agonizing anguish that he got on his horse and left the village. He was never heard from again. Some spoke that he had taken his own life and his body was now buzzard food. Others felt he went to an enemy tribe to provoke a fight so he might die in battle. Yet no one had found him when they searched. Rebecca's heart pained for the kind man. To love someone so deeply and completely that life was not worth living if they were not with you. It was something she could not conjure in conscience thought. She loved Kevin very much, but to lose hope of living? That was not something she could understand.

Rebecca shook her head to rid her thought of the sad event and smiled instead as she looked at the tiny man and woman that stood beside her. They were all wrapped in warm buffalo robes and stood closely to the big fire in the center of the village. The Medicine Man used that fire to light the end of some braided sweet grass. He fanned the smoke onto the threesome as he continued to mumble quick prayers for the new family.

Rebecca looked at her adoptive parents and noticed the pride she saw on their faces. Fallen Star was wearing her best doeskin dress for this occasion. Her head was bowed slightly and her hands were folded together under her breasts. Three Stones held his head high, with his arms folded across his chest. How could she not be proud that these two wonderful people were welcoming her into their family? The loud, raspy voice of the Medicine Man startled Rebecca from her thoughts.

"I stand in front of you all as a man and a healer. I am one of you because my blood is the same as yours. This is Ree-Beka, a woman and mother. She is not one of us because our blood does not run through her veins." He pulled a knife out and took Rebecca's left hand and made a small cut on her middle fingers, tip. He did the same to Three Stones and Fallen Star. He took all their hands and clasped them together tightly as he spoke.

"Our blood is now the same. The white woman, Rebecca, is now the daughter of Three Stones and Fallen Star!" A roar of excitement and cheers spread throughout the village. Rebecca smiled and Fallen Star wrapped her arms tightly around her new daughter. Rebecca's permanent adoption would take place as soon as she finished all her tasks that were given to her by the elders of the village. Then she would earn a new name and receive Fallen Star's family crest. The village had moved to their winter camp a few weeks ago and since that time the main focus was on these two ceremonies. Now that the first one was over, more energy would be focused on the second one. Rebecca tried to weave in and out of people's embraces and hugs as she attempted to reach White Wolf. When she reached him, she pulled Acorn into her arms and placed kisses on his face and neck.

"White Wolf, I cannot believe it is all over! I feel so different, yet I know nothing has really changed."

He walked close to Rebecca and his hand rested on hers that she had placed on Acorn's back. He just stared into her eyes and then leaned forward and placed a kiss on Acorn's head. He walked away and Rebecca stared at him surprised. She turned her head when a soft chuckle beside her drew her gaze from White Wolf.

"I believe he would like you to follow him." Smiling Woman looked at her new sister and made a soft clucking noise. "He knows better than to try and lure you away from the family. If my father saw that he would be in a world of trouble."

"He wants me to do what? Why does he want me to follow him?" Rebecca looked at her sister confused, had she missed something?

"Ree-Beka, you are Lakota now and also single. White Wolf is trying to claim you as his before any other male gets an eye for you."

Rebecca was shocked. "Claim me, what is that supposed to mean? I'm not a horse that can be won." Rebecca looked back at White Wolf and noticed he had stopped walking and was staring at her.

Smiling Woman shook her head. "No, no, not like that. He wants to show the other single men he has intentions toward you. Ree-Beka, you must know by now that White Wolf has eyes only for you."

Rebecca's heart skipped a beat. Did she hear right? She looked at him and watched him walk toward her. Her eyes were locked with his and she felt like her heart was going to burst from her chest. Her breathing quickened and she tore her gaze from White Wolf and looked down.

"Smiling Woman I would like to walk with Ree-Beka. Could you please watch after Acorn for a bit?" White Wolf looked at the shy Rebecca and his chest filled with excitement. Since she was being immersed into his culture and always with a potential family he had to wait until he could ask her father's permission to talk with her. "I have talked with Three Stone's. He has allowed me to walk with Ree-Beka to the water's edge."

Rebecca looked up and handed Acorn to Smiling Woman without saying a word. She followed White Wolf through the crowds of people until they reached the river. She stood next to him as he stared at the majestic mountains in the distance. He took her hand into his and brought it to his chest.

Rebecca smiled and gently raised her other hand and placed it over his. He was so handsome even with the light smallpox scars that dotted his face. Her hand trembled as White Wolf placed a soft kiss on her finger tips. Was this real? Was White Wolf showing feelings for her? She had grown to love his company and the time they shared. However, she never knew that his feelings for her were ever more then a friendship.

"Did Fallen Star give you these?" White Wolf gently tugged at the earrings that hung from Rebecca's earlobes.

"She gave them to me right before the ceremony. She told me that horsehair earrings are given to a daughter when she becomes a woman. They symbolize the horse, which is considered strong, and loyal because of the burdens they must carry. A woman must also be strong and carry many burdens throughout her life. The earrings are a reminder that I am my own woman and can make my own decisions."

White Wolf chuckled a bit before speaking again. "Did you memorize the entire speech your Hun, said to you?"

Rebecca blushed and lowered her head. "I was just trying to remember everything she told me that was important." She pulled away from White Wolf and looked back into his dark eyes. "Why did you want me to come here with you? I know my Atku, father would not have agreed to this if he knew we were alone."

"I do not want you to get in trouble with your parents, but I had to be alone with you for only a moment." He leaned forward and placed a warm tender kiss on Rebecca's surprised mouth. His kiss deepened when he felt her respond. He laced his finger through her hair and pulled her close to him. He had hungered for her touch ever since her brought her back from Strong Bears village. He never intended to kiss her, but now he could not stop. His body was on fire and he yearned to feel her bare skin on his.

"White Wolf, unhand my Cunksi, daughter!"

Rebecca and White Wolf quickly pulled away from each other at the sound of Three Stones' stern voice.

Rebecca lowered her eyes and walked to her father's side. "I am sorry my Atku, father. I apologize for the shame I have caused you."

Three Stones' hand rested on the small of Rebecca's back as he leaned over and spoke in her ear. She nodded and walked back to the village, alone.

"White Wolf, I understand you have feelings for my Cunksi, but that does not excuse you from your duties as a warrior. You are to protect the women of this village, not take advantage of them. I will have to speak with your father about this." Three Stones stepped closer to White Wolf and placed his hand on the taller man's shoulder.

"Between you and I, White Wolf, I have seen that look of longing on your face ever since she arrived in our village. You must remember that you must do things in the correct manner and custom of our people. Ree-Beka is my daughter now and I expect you to respect her as any maiden of this village. Do we understand each other?"

White Wolf nodded to Three Stones and the older man smiled and walked back to the village without another word.

Once White Wolf cleared his thoughts he returned to the village where games, dancing, and stories were occupying most of the villagers. He looked to see where his father was at and was pleased to see him playing with some of the younger boys of the village.

White Wolf found Rebecca sitting with her mother and sister as they listened to the Medicine Man, Shadow Dreamer, tell a story. Once he approached the small gathering he sat behind Rebecca and pulled Morning Sun's daughter onto his lap.

"Oglala women are strong and need no help from the men of the village. They are cherished gifts from the Great Spirit. They are respected as Mother Earth is, for they are both givers of life." Shadow Dreamer lowered his head as he finished his last story and the women cheered and clapped. He nodded his thanks and allowed a few people to get up while others joined the group.

White Wolf saw Rebecca turn slowly around and face him before quickly standing and leaving with Smiling Woman. He chuckled a bit as he watched her walk away.

The next few weeks the village dealt with their preparations for the long winter. While the men of the village left to go hunting, the women and those too old or young to go hunting helped prepare the village for winter. When they finished, they would go and help others with their work. Rebecca looked around as more clans left every day to winter at the Papa Sapa, the sacred Black Hills.

Many of the men of the village were hunting and had been gone for several weeks, in search of game that would feed them through winter. White Wolf, who was a seasoned warrior, was gone along with many of the other men in the village. Rebecca was secretly glad to have White Wolf gone. With him not around to distract her thoughts she could focus on her tasks that the elders had given to her to perform before the next ceremony. The tasks were chosen to test her endurance as a woman and as a Lakota. It would also aid the elders in finding a new name for her. One of her tasks was to get to know the people of the village. Not just by sight, but by name. For this she decided to spend as much time as she could with the Medicine Man, Shadow Dreamer. He knew many things about the people of the village, more then she could ever learn by just visiting with them. So, she went with him to all of his healing ceremonies. While doing this she also satisfied the other part of her task. She was to help bring a new life into the world and help an old one leave.

Since Rebecca was adapting so quickly to the Oglala customs and culture, her family believed her permanent adoption would take place sooner than expected.

The days were becoming shorter and the nights were colder. Rebecca had become so accustomed to the Lakota language she almost never spoke English anymore. Many of the evenings that she wasn't with Shadow Dreamer she spent with her sister and mother talking and sewing. It was during that time they talked about how Rebecca got caught with White Wolf. They also laughed that the reason White Wolf left with every hunting party was because Three Stone's had threatened to tell his father what he did. Three Stones however knew the shame that would follow White Wolf if it was known he had tried to take advantage of Rebecca. He wanted to make sure his new daughter was going to be properly courted, and he told White Wolf if he was interested in Rebecca he must do it right.

Rebecca was shocked to hear how serious White Wolf's intentions were, but it also excited her. She was suddenly eager for him to return from the hunting trip so she could talk to him and discuss the feelings she had for him.

That evening as Rebecca and the rest of the family settled down for the night cold winds blew at their dwelling that a storm was approaching. Rebecca got up several times during the night to quiet Acorn who was fussing. It was early dawn when his fussing woke her again. Little clicking sounds were heard from the Antelope teeth dangling from Acorn's cradelboard as he moved around. She sighed and flung her arms out from her warm blanket.

"Hush Cinksi, my son. Go back to sleep." She turned on her side and attempted to block out her 5-month-olds' whimpering. A few moments later he quieted and Rebecca heard the soft melodic voice of her mother. She sighed and pushed her warm covers back and she crossed the cold dirt ground to her mother.

"Ina, I am sorry he keeps disturbing you. I think his teeth are going to come in soon."

"It is alright my Cunks. I enjoy the company of my Tokoja, (grandson). Go back to sleep." Fallen Star smiled at Rebecca and gently padded her hand. "Go to sleep, he will be fine."

Rebecca smiled and thanked her mother before she climbed back into her still-warm bed. She rolled around a few times to get comfortable and soon she was fast asleep.

The next morning Rebecca awoke rested and refreshed. She rolled up her sleeping pallet and was strapping Acorn into his cradle board when her mother came into the dwelling.

"Ree-beka can you gather water for me. The water bags are all empty. Leave Acorn, I will tend to him."

Rebecca nodded her head and after dressing she gathered her empty bladder bags and one of the thick buffalo robes. She stepped outside into the bright morning and the cold winter wind bit fiercely at her face. Many people were just starting to wake up, so Rebecca knew that there would not be anyone at the river. The cold ground crunched under her weight as she followed the well-worn path to the river. She reached the river and found a spot where the ice had been broken recently and was able to gather her water quickly. When she finished, she stood and was surprised to see Blue Feather standing on the pathway blocking her.

"Good morning Blue Feather. I thought you would be off with the other men hunting." His cheeks were sunken and dark circles were under his eyes. His hair was un-kept and he only had a thin woven blanket around his shoulders.

"I have been forbidden to hunt with the other warriors in the village. Your presence in this village has caused harm to my people. In time, my people will realize this."

Rebecca took a hesitant step back from Blue Feather. She had an uneasy feeling about him. There was a darkness in his eyes, and she felt his anger was directed toward her. "I have done nothing to harm the Lakota. I love them all dearly and want to only be accepted here."

"You will never be accepted!" His words were spoken with such hatred and fury it gave Rebecca chills.

"Why do you hate me so? I did nothing to you. If anyone has a reason to hate, it is me. You were the one to kill my husband and left me a widow."

"I would do it all again, your people have poisoned mine into thinking that you are good and want to help. But I know it is all lies, you speak with forked tongues and soon your treachery will be evident." His sudden advancement toward Rebecca surprised her and she was not quick enough to escape him. He ran full force into her, knocking her to the cold, hard ground. She felt cold metal against her throat and fear gripped her insides. She somehow managed to get her hands free from her robe and pushed against Blue Feather's chest. The boy was surprisingly light and with a good shove he flew off her. She untangled herself from her robe and stood, preparing herself for another attack. He was quicker than she had expected and he came at her again, stabbing at her with the knife.

Rebecca was able to jump out of the way and somehow avoid being cut. She spun on her toes and kicked her leg out at Blue Feather. He tripped and fell forward the knife flying from his hand. She leapt on his back and pinned him to the ground. Adrenaline was pulsing through her that she didn't realize she was only in her dress and her skin exposed to the cold, freezing air. "I do not want to hurt you." She leaned forward to talk heatedly in his ear. "But if you come after me again, I will not hesitate to tell my father and yours what you did. You being banished from hunting parties would be the least of your worries." She shoved his face into the cold ground and stood. She bent over, grabbed her buffalo robe and water bags and began to head back toward camp.

She took a deep breath to calm herself, when a force hit her from behind and she fell face first into the hard cold ground. The sharp, frozen ground cut into her face and a pain sliced her side and lower back. The assault was over as quickly as it started and Rebecca was able to stand when the weight left her. She looked around for Blue Feather and saw only the cold puffs from her heated breathing. She grabbed her water bags again and walked as quickly as she could back to her parents dwelling.

Rebecca stepped into the warm tipi and stumbled forward to hang the water bags on the pole by the fire. She saw the surprised looks upon her mother and sister's face and they quickly dropped what they were doing and approached her. Concern and worry was evident on their face.

"Cunksi, what has happened to your face?" Fallen Star brought a hand up to Rebecca's chin and turned it for inspection.

Rebecca was shivering now and she was unsure if it was from the cold, or the fear that had coursed through her veins moments before. "Blue Feather attacked me. He approached me by the river with a knife."

Surprise was evident on Fallen Star's face. "Blue Feather? White Wolf's brother? Why would he do such a thing to you?"

Smiling Woman grabbed Rebecca's hand and pulled her closer to the fire, encouraging her to sit. "He was the one that killed Ree-beka's husband. He has been punished because he went against the words of the hunting party. Maybe he blames Ree-beka for what has happened to him."

Fallen Star looked from Smiling Woman to Rebecca. "I did not know of this. Did he hurt you badly? What did he use to hit your face?"

Rebecca brought her knees up to her chest and took a shaky hand to her face. "The ground did this when he tackled me. He had a knife, but I was able to get it from him before he cut me." She raised her neck up to show her mother and a gasp escaped her lips.

"Oh my Cunksi!"

Rebecca felt the warm fingers of her mother trace a thin red line across her throat. "He could have killed you."

"I believe that was his intent. Can I change my clothes, they got wet from the water bags and I am freezing." Rebecca stood and let the buffalo robe fall to her feet and took a few unsteady steps toward her belongings at the back of the dwelling. A quick intake of breath caused her to stop and she turned back toward her mother and sister. She followed their gaze. Her dress was soaked on her entire right side, not with water, but with blood. Her knees gave way and she collapsed to the ground. He last vision was seeing her mother and sister running toward her.

Rebecca awoke on her side and could feel the warm hands of her mother using warm water to wash her side. "He must have used a skinning knife. It was sharp, but not very big. Most of your cuts are not deep. Smiling Woman, I will get Shadow Dreamer. Can you brew some tea for Ree-beka?"

Rebecca watched her mother leave and watched her sister move about the dwelling to make the tea. "I did not realize he had stabbed me. I guess the robe protected me from his attack." She watched her sister pause for a moment and then continued with preparing the tea. She could tell something was on her mind. "Smiling Woman, what is wrong?" She carefully sat up and winced when she felt the burning to her side.

Her sister grabbed a few items and came to sit next to Rebecca. "The robe you were wearing was made by my Kola. She was talented with sewing and that robe was made special for me. It has dried grass between the layers and I believe it was why you were not seriously injured. It was she, that protected you. She knows you must be kept safe."

Rebecca lowered her eyes and pulled at her fingers. She wasn't too sure about White Wolf's dead wife wanting to keep her safe. She just thought it was just luck that saved her. She looked up at her sister, tears in her eyes. "I have to tell White Wolf. This will break his heart."

"What Blue Feather has done is out of White Wolf's control. This will be brought before the council. Father is with the elders now." She paused and grabbed Rebecca's hand and held it tightly in her warm hand. "You are one of us now. To harm another Lakota carries a penalty of banishment, or even death."

Rebecca locked eyes with her sister and a fear grew inside her. She did not want to be held responsible for the banishment of White Wolf's brother. Somehow she felt that this would end up being her fault. "They will blame me. If I was not here, he would not have done anything to anyone else and he would be off hunting with the other men. I never should have stayed." Her voice broke and she buried her face in her hands.

"Hush now my sister. You cannot blame yourself for the actions of someone else. If you were not here, our village would have all perished by the spotted sickness. You are a gift from the Great Spirit. I believe that you were sent to us for a reason. My heart has felt a happiness that I have not felt in many summers." She paused, took a deep breath and said quietly. "I am happy you are here, please do not ever regret that you are here."

Rebecca half smiled and rubbed her nose with the back of her fingers. She would leave it up to the elders and not think on it anymore. She laid back down and allowed her sister to dress her wounds.

Three Stones stood listening to his wife tell him the story of his daughter's attack by Blue Feather. He felt anger rising in his chest and his fists clenched as he listened to the injuries she suffered. "How is she?"

"Her injuries are not serious, but it has frightened her and she feels unsafe."

"I will speak with Brave Elk and the others. This cannot continue. If something is not done, the boy might kill someone." He squeezed his wife's hand and they locked eyes before she walked away, heading back to her dwelling to care for he daughter.

The days that followed, Rebecca was kept in close proximity to someone in her family. She felt that some of the other people in the village resented her because of the extra precautions that were used for her protection. Fallen Star had ensured that no one in the village had ill will towards her, but she still felt isolated and alone. She missed talking with Deer and had asked her sister if she would go with her to visit her friend.

Rebecca, Deer and Morning Sun were sitting in Deer's tipi when word came that the men in the village had returned. They stepped outside the dwelling and Rebecca felt relief come over her when she watched the men arrive from their hunting trip. There were cheers and laughter as women and children came from their tipi's to greet them.

"It appears the men have had a successful hunt. Look at all the travois' loaded with game."

Rebecca looked at Deer and saw the smile on her face. It had been many months since she had seen her friend smile. "Deer, it seems you are happier than usual to see the men return. Is there a reason for it?" Rebecca watched her friend scan the crowd and a look of contentment crossed her face. Her features softened and she turned to Rebecca.

"I have some news to tell my husband. If you excuse me I must go speak to him."

Rebecca turned to her sister and she watched her nod her head. She turned back to where Deer had headed and she watched as the tiny woman approached her husband. The two stood a few feet apart and a smile crossed his face when she nodded her head. He stepped closer to her and then took her hands into his and pulled her closer to him so they were merely inches apart. Their foreheads touched and they stood there for a moment, lost in their own world. Rebecca was not sure what had transpired, but the intimate moment between her friend and her husband made her blush and she lowered her head.

"Let us return home, mother will need help with the evening meal."

Rebecca followed her sister and her eyes scanned the crowd for White Wolf. It had been several weeks since she last saw him and she was pleased he was home again. Her breath caught when her eyes caught a glimpse of a familiar horse. The beautiful black horse that had white front legs was coming toward the center of the village. The view of White Wolf upon his horse was a magnificent sight. He sat proudly and erect and led the crowd of people where the meat and hides would be divided among the rest of the village. Rebecca and Smiling Woman hurried toward their dwelling and went inside to wait their fathers return.

"What do you mean that he attacked a woman in the village? What cause would he have to do such a vile act?"

"He insists that she is evil and will not stop until she is dead."

Rebecca sat next to Fallen Star and Smiling Woman as Three Stones spoke to Black Elk and White Wolf. Her father insisted that she be present for the council so she could explain to them first-hand what had happened.

"Well where is the boy? Does he not wish to speak in his own defense?" Rebecca turned her attention to Shadow Dreamer who had just entered the tipi.

"We were unable to find him."

"Are you telling me that our best warrior's, who all are experienced tracker's, could not track down this boy of only 14 summers?"

Rebecca could feel the tension between the medicine man and White Wolf build. She had spent a great deal of time with Shadow Dreamer and she knew that he held bitter feelings toward White Wolf. She never understood why he would always find a way to belittle White Wolf.

Rebecca held onto her sister's hand tightly as Three Stones continued. "This boy, attacked my daughter, not only with his body, but with a weapon. His intention was clear, he wanted not only to inflict pain, he wanted to kill. Ree-beka, can you please stand."

That was Rebecca's cue, she let go of her sister's hand and stood. She took the few steps it took to stand next to Three Stones. "Look at her face, she has cuts, bruising and swelling to her face." He took her chin and moved it back and forth showing the others, her injuries. A few gasps were heard among the quiet whispering. Rebecca slowly looked around at the faces of the men in the tipi. She did not know what kind of reaction she was expecting from them. Even though she was in the process of being adopted into the tribe, she still felt like an outsider. She was still learning their ways and finding out who she could trust.

"I made a promise to this woman, that no harm would come to her while she was among our people. This is the second time she has been attacked since she came to live here and yet she still cares for us and wants to become a Lakota woman."

Rebecca turned her head to the familiar voice. Her heart began to thump loudly in her chest and she felt butterflies in her stomach. She could not see him clearly because of the firelight, but knew his features well. She knew that when he was upset a deep line formed between his eyebrows and a vein on the side of his neck would bulge. She shook her head and took a deep breath. She needed to stay focused for this council.

"No one blames you for this White Wolf. You are being made to suffer just as much, because Blue Feather is your brother." Three Stones let go of Rebecca's face and asked her to sit down. "I ask the elders to make a decision based on fact and tradition. This young man needs to be punished for his actions. That is all I have to say." Three Stones nodded his head and sat down.

Rebecca was sitting next to her sister again and she felt a nudge on her arm. She turned and saw her sister motion for her to head toward the exit. She stood, nodded her head to a few people and left the dwelling. Smiling Woman followed her out and Rebecca waited for her sister to speak.

"The men will discuss more on Blue Feather, but whatever is decided we will not be present."

"I understand." She paused a moment, thinking about something and then spoke again. "You do not think they will sentence him to death, do you?" I do not want him to be harmed in any way."

Smiling woman looked oddly at Rebecca and then grabbed her arm as they walked away from the tipi. "Why would you say such a thing? If they wish for him to be punished by death, he will accept it like a true warrior."

Rebecca lowered her head and pulled at her fingers. "There has been enough death. Taking his life will not fix things. It will not bring my husband back. I have seen enough death in my lifetime. If I can stop it, I wish that he lives. Live a long life that he is reminded daily of what he did." Rebecca was not a vengeful person, she never had been. She just wanted people to get along and figured if given the right circumstances things could be worked out peacefully. Growing up her brother got into a lot of fist fights with other boys when he thought they had somehow disrespected him. There were times he fought boys who he thought had been unkind to her. In the end all it did was leave her alienated from the other kids. No one wanted to play with a girl whose big brother might come by and give him a split lip or black eye because of what they said or did.

Rebecca turned tearful eyes to her sister. "I do not want to make enemies here. People actually like me and I would like to keep it that way."

"Ree-beka, no one would hate you if Blue Feather was punished by death. That is the way of our people."

"You say that now, but if I was not here. If I had decided to leave and not stay, he would not be in this situation now. He is being punished because of my choices. I decided to stay and now he is being punished for it." Her voice broke and she fought hard to keep from crying. Her tears rolled down her face and she angrily wiped them away. Her sister grabbed her hands and she slowly raised her eyes to her sister.

"He is being punished because of his actions, not yours. His first offense was going against White Wolf's words when out hunting. He put all the men's lives at risk that day. His second offense was killing your husband and now he has attacked you. If you would have left, he might have seen the same fate. You cannot blame yourself because of someone else's actions"

Rebecca took a deep breath and nodded to her sister. She was right, she would have to accept that Blue Feather was going to be punished for what he did. She was not the one that would punish him, but inside she felt that it was still her fault.

A few days went by before Blue Feathers punishment was enforced. It was custom to have it done before the village, so all would know and understand the severity of his actions. Rebecca stood with her family and huddled in their thick buffalo robes as freezing rain came down in a soft drizzle. The ground had changed from a hard, cold surface to soft, mushy wetness. Rebecca listened to the noises the ground made as people shifted their feet as they all waited for the elders to speak. The wind picked up drowning out the voices of the men speaking. Rebecca pulled her buffalo robe closer and watched as they pulled the woven blanket off from Blue Feathers shoulders by Shadow Dreamer. It was handed to Brave Elk and he held it tightly in his grasp. The look on his face was unreadable. He showed no sign that he was upset or hurt by what was happening to his youngest son. Rebecca wished she could hear what was being said, but the rain and wind drowned out the shaman's words.

She knew from talking with Three Stones and Falling Star the night before that the banishment ceremony that was being done to Blue Feather was a very serious ritual. Three Stones had said that he had only seen it once before in his lifetime. They were taking all his belongings and anything that could connect him with the Lakota tribe. He would be turned away and would be considered dead in everyone's eyes. Since the Lakota people relied on each other so much in day to day living, that being left on his own with no food, weapons or horse meant certain death.

Rebecca now understood why Blue Feather didn't like her, hated her even. She had found out from White Wolf the night he had returned from the hunting trip. He had come to visit with her during the evening meal and while her mother sat by the fire sewing he had explained to her why Blue Feather hated whites so much. Several summers past, when Blue Feather was about 5 summers old their mother took Blue Feather on a walk to teach him about healing herbs. She had wanted to teach him how to heal and help people. They were walking around and came across two white men. The men said they were mapping the land and got lost. They needed help with direction so they could return to their camp. Their mother had graciously showed them where to go and soon a friendship had developed with her and a few women from the camp. It was during this friendship that White Wolf, Blue Feather and his mother had learned to speak English. When their white friends decided it was time to move on they asked for his mother to join them as a translator, due to her talent of learning languages quickly. She had declined to leave her family and a few days later when their mother never returned from the river when gathering water, a search party was sent out.

His father found his mother's mutilated and ravaged body. It was apparent they tried to make her death look like another tribe had attacked her. It was however, evident that her death was the result of the whites and from that moment Blue Feather has insisted that all whites were savages out for their own gain and could never be trusted.

What didn't make sense to Rebecca was why White Wolf and his father held no ill will toward her. They too had lost someone at the hands of the whites. They both had been very gracious and kind toward her and she shivered at the thought at what could have happened to her if they still held bitter feelings toward whites.

She turned her eyes back to Blue Feather and watched as the thin boy was pointed away from his family and the only life he knew. His face was wet from the rain and Rebecca saw his red rimmed eyes. They locked eyes for a moment and a chill ran down her back at the cold blackness that emanated from his gaze. She lowered her eyes and stared at her feet. Even now as he was being banished from his family she could tell he wanted her dead. She wiped the cold rain from her face and prayed for him. She prayed he found peace in his heart and if death found him it was a quick and painless one.

Chapter 17

Rebecca kept to herself the weeks following Blue Feathers banishment. She felt that her presence was like salt in an open wound and kept away from White Wolf as he and his father quietly mourned the loss of Blue Feather. She awoke at dawn and carefully crept out of her dwelling and headed toward the river. The ground crunched under the weight of her feet and she pulled her buffalo robe tighter around her to ward off the chill. She reached the river and saw that the warmth from the past few days had thinned the ice in spots. She walked up stream until she found a nice secluded spot where she could bathe. She sat for a few moments watching the sun rise from behind the treetops and hummed to herself. She paused a moment when she heard a crunching noise behind her and she turned to see a deer jump from behind a thicket of bushes. She jumped at the sudden movement and sighed in an attempt to slow her racing heart. She stood and dropped her robe to the ground. She stretched her arms above her head and groaned as her muscles pulled and her joints popped.

In her next conscience thought Rebecca found herself in the frigid water and not being able to break through the icy surface.

Rebecca fought the strong currant, hitting the ice with her frozen hands. She needed air desperately and her chest burned as she franticly continued to hit the frozen surface above her head. Nothing was working and Rebecca's fear of drowning was suddenly becoming a reality. Her knees hit something hard and she realized it was the river bottom. She recognized that she must be close to the bank and hoped to find a thin spot for her to break through. She heaved her back against the ice in one last effort for freedom from the icy waters and it gave way to a gust of cold air. She took a deep, haggard breath and coughed as her lungs burned and she began to vomit onto the ground and she crawled onto the dry bank. Her body shook violently and she pulled her hands to her mouth in an attempt to warm her now blue hands. She was in a haze and couldn't think clearly anymore. Only thing she knew was she would now freeze to death instead of drowning. Her ears were ringing and exhaustion overcame her and she closed her eyes as her shivering lessened and darkness overtook her.

Rebecca slowly opened her eyes and the first thing she realized was that she was warm. She wasn't shivering and she turned her head when she heard voices. When she opened her eyes she saw her mother and sister busy by the fire. "Hello mother."

A gasp escaped Fallen Star and she quickly turned toward Rebecca and he face was showing a mixture of joy and concern. "Oh, Cinksi, daughter. You have awaken. All praise to the Great Spirit!" She knelt next to Rebecca and wrapped her strong hands around hers.

"What happened? How long have I been here?" She looked at her mother's face and then to her sisters when they both lowered their eyes.

"Smiling Woman went looking for you when she woke and could not find you. She came across your belongings by the side of the river and saw where you broke through the ice. She found you on the other side of the bank down river." She paused and her dark eyes turned to Smiling Woman, and she continued where Fallen Star left off.

"I thought you were dead, my sister. Your skin was blue and you were stiff and cold to my touch." Tears rolled down her beautiful face and she held Rebecca's hand to her warm, soft face. "I screamed for help and we were able to get you inside, changed and warmed. It wasn't until then that we noticed the cut."

Rebecca looked at her sister and then to her mother. "The cut? Did I get hurt when I fell into the river?"

Fallen Star reached for Rebecca's arm and pulled back the sleeve to reveal bandages on her upper left arm. "No, my daughter. Someone has taken flesh from your arm."

She brought her hand up and absently rubbed her bandages. "Why would someone do that? Are you sure it was not caused by my fall into the river?"

"No, this was done with intent and malice in their heart. Someone who wishes ill will toward you."

Rebecca pulled the thick robe up under her chin and realized how sore she was. It seemed every muscle in her body ached and an odd feeling overcame her.

"I understand your fears and we wished there could be another explanation, but we have not been able to find one."

"Is Acorn okay? Has any harm come to him?"

"No my daughter, he is safe and happy. You should rest. Shadow Dreamer will come by with the Medicine Man from Strong Bears village and pray over you. Perhaps a spirit is at unrest and has attacked itself to you."

She leaned over and rested her head against Rebecca for a moment and her braids fell forward onto Rebecca's chest. "You are safe my daughter. Trust me when I vow to keep you safe from harm." She placed a soft kiss on Rebecca's forehead, stood and left the dwelling, leaving Rebecca alone with her thoughts.

Rebecca turned her head toward the entrance flap when she heard voices coming from the outside. She closed her eyes to help her concentrate on the voices. There were two men talking, one she recognized as Shadow Dreamer. His voice was deep and raspy and she struggled to hear what he was saying.

"I have not seen the wound, but from what Fallen Star has told me it was a cut from her upper arm."

The other man was speaking, but his voice was too low for Rebecca to make out what he was saying. "I have heard of it, but it is an ancient magic and I have not heard if it has ever worked." There was a pause in Shadow Dreamer's voice and Rebecca assumed the other man was speaking again. "We all believed he died, and have no proof that he is not. I do have to say, that for a boy of such a young age he is very resourceful."

Boy? Who were they talking about? The only boy that had died recently was Blue Feather. A sudden chill crept down my back. Was he still alive? Had he somehow survived the past few months out on his own? She raised her hand and rubbed it against the bandage on her upper arm. Had he done something to her when she was unconscious? Was he the reason she ended up in the river in the first place?

"We will not assume anything and unless I see proof the boy still lives, then this matter is closed." The flap flew aside and Rebecca quickly turned her head to see Shadow Dreamer walk into the dwelling. "Greetings Ree-beka. How do you feel?"

"Tired and very sore. I feel like I have been run over by a buffalo."

The older man nodded his head and sat down by the fire. She watched him for a few moments as he took some items from a pouch that was tied to his side and placed them in a bowl. He placed the bowl in the fire and soon a pungent smell filled the dwelling. Rebecca's eyes grew heavy and after a few moments of Shadow Dreamers chanting Rebecca was asleep.

Rebecca woke feeling warm and slowly opened her eyes. She looked around the dwelling and saw her mother tending the fire and her sister was mending. She cleared her throat and her mother turned toward her and smiled. "I see you are awake. How do you feel? Are you hungry?"

"Yes, I am, but where is Acorn. He must be hungry by now."

Fallen Star lowered he head. "He is with Turtle. Ever since we found you by the river, we asked for her to care for him until you were strong enough."

Rebecca lowered her head and began to pull at her fingers. Would she ever be able to care for her son herself? It seemed every time she got close to be able to care for her son on her own something happened. Her nose tickled and she wiped at the tears that began to form in her eyes. Why did it seem like she had the worst luck. Ever since Kevin insisted they travel out west to find his family her life was filled with death and misery. Was she being punished for something?

"My daughter, why are you crying? What hurts your heart so much?"

"I miss my cinski, son." She covered her face with hands and her tears rolled from her eyes and through the spaces of her fingers.

"Smiling Woman, go and get Acorn. Ree-beka needs to be with her son."

Smiling Woman dropped her mending, grabbed a robe and quickly left the dwelling.

"Come my child. Sit up and I will get you some soup. You have not eaten in several days and your body needs nourishment."

Rebecca sat up slowly, careful to shift her weight so she didn't use her left arm much. Her mother handed her the soup and she ate it slowly. Her thoughts that were running around in her head kept her from noticing that her mother was chanting behind her. She was focused on all she had gone through since she arrived here in June. Her endurance had been pushed to the limit on several occasions and she thought of many times of giving up. To just grab her son, take a horse and head East. Her son was her top priority and she knew it would be foolish to go off on her own, especially in this weather.

Rebecca had grown up privileged. She always had everything she had ever wanted, but what made her the happiest was when she was outside in the orchards, running through the corn fields or with her father in the stables. She didn't care that she had a different dress for everyday of the week. She was proud of the look she saw on her father's face when she changed the shoes on the horse. She enjoyed doing things for herself. Her mother always said she had the stubbornness of a Scot and the temper of an Irish. She smiled a bit and then a sudden pang of guilt hit her chest. Her parents. What must they be going through? She left over a year ago and never left word to her whereabouts. They might believe she is dead and it pained her to know that she might never see them again.

Rebecca looked at her crude bowl and spoon. She set them down and looked at her hands. Her nails were short and had dirt around the bases. Small scratches and swelling to her knuckles were a result from trying to punch through the ice. The blisters she had gotten on the palms of her hands were now healed into thick callouses. A result of hard work on her part, determined to fit in. Back home in Kentucky she would be ridiculed and gossiped about if anyone saw the condition of her hands. As she flexed her sore knuckles and swollen hands she clenched them into fists. She was proud of every cut, scratch, broken and dirty nail. She was making a life for her and her son. A new life with her bare hands.

A few days had gone by before Rebecca felt strong enough to resume her chores. Her arm was sore, but she kept quiet as to how much. She was determined to get back to her daily routine and forget about the incident at the river. Her parents were concerned about her safety and insisted that someone accompany her at all times. Women of the village usually traveled in pairs, but it was not uncommon to find a woman doing work on her own. Rebecca was surprised that she did not see White Wolf at all. She and her sister were out gathering wood for their fires and she asked her about White Wolf.

"I believe he has gone on a vision quest. He said he feels responsible for your safety and is seeking guidance from the Great Spirit."

Rebecca didn't feel it was White Wolf's responsibility to keep all the danger from her. They lived in an open and wild area. Accidents were bound to happen. "Do you know how long he will be gone?"

Smiling Woman shrugged her shoulders and continued with her work. Rebecca absently rubbed her arm and pulled her thick buffalo robe closer around her. The wind had picked up and she could feel the cold bite of the winter wind against her face. She continued gathering sticks and adding it to their pile. Before long they had enough wood gathered and headed back to camp.

Rebecca's days and nights began to blend together and not much had changed to break up the daily routine of her life among the Lakota. The days were shorter and most evenings were spent mending clothes or retelling stories from times when people were not cooped up inside. One evening as she and her mother were sewing they allowed Acorn to sit between them on the floor and play with some rattles. There was a scratch at the entrance and Rebecca was surprised to see Black Elk.

"Good evening my friends. I am sorry to disturb you, but may we speak to Ree-Beka?"

Rebecca turned and looked at her mother and saw her smile.

"It is fine my child. I will watch over Acorn." Rebecca stood, grabbed her robe and followed Black Elk out of the warm dwelling and into the dark, cold night.

"Follow me." His voice was short and she felt an icy chill run down her back that had nothing to do with the weather. She followed behind Black Elk and was surprised to see they were heading toward Shadow Dreamers dwelling. Brave Elk pulled the flap aside and gestured for Rebecca to enter. She took a deep breath and walked inside the warm, dim lit dwelling.

"Welcome Ree-Beka. Please sit." Shadow Dreamer pointed to a spot across from him and Rebecca hesitantly sat down. Her eyes scanned the dwelling and noticed Brave Elk standing by the entrance flap appearing to be waiting for someone. A few moments later Three Stones, White Wolf and Walks Proudly entered the dwelling and sat around the fire. Brave Elk tied the entrance flap shut indicating privacy. Rebecca looked nervously around at the men and began to pull at her fingers. She wasn't sure what the reason was for her to be a part of this meeting, but by the grim looks on the men's faces she knew it couldn't be good. She turned to face Brave Elk when he began to speak. "We welcome you Ree-Beka to this meeting. Women of the village usually do not participate in the dealings of the village, but your father, Three Stones felt very strongly that you be here. Since he is a respected shirt wearer, his opinion waved heavily in your favor."

Rebecca nodded her head and attempted to swallow but her throat was too dry and she ended up coughing. She quickly apologized and nodded her head to show the men she was listening. Shadow Dreamer leaned into the fire and lit some braided sweet grass. He stood and began chanting as he waved the smoke over each person that was in the dwelling. When he finished he sat next to Brave Elk and nodded his head.

"Welcome friends. I gathered you all here for a serious matter. It pains my heart to have this meeting, but there was no other way around it." He paused and turned to White Wolf. "My son, you have a good, kind heart. I am very proud to be called your father and I know the Lakota people will be in good hands after my passing." He sighed and lowered his head. "My heart pains with what has happened with your brother. We all believed he perished after his banishment. It wasn't until Ree-Beka was pulled from the river and we saw that her flesh was cut from her that we understood the extent of his black soul and hatred toward Ree-Beka."

Rebecca absently rubbed her upper arm and looked from Black Elk to White Wolf. A look of confusion crossed her face and she watched his brows furrow together.

"Maybe I should explain." Shadow Dreamer spoke when an eerie silence fell among the men. "I was always meant to be a medicine man, as my father and his father before him. Things have been passed down from the old ones and I always thought that these were a gift to be treasured. Many, summers ago I had an apprentice that I was teaching of the old ways and he was eager and willing to use these things to help our people. He however twisted the knowledge I gave him and his soul turned black." He sighed and his eyes locked with Rebecca. "I am truly sorry, my child. The boy that was once White Wolf's brother has placed a curse upon you. He has tied it to your soul by offering a blood sacrifice. I do not know how it can be undone and he has done this to inflict harm and pain on you for all eternity."

Rebecca looked at Shadow Dreamer and then to Black Elk. "What do you mean he has cursed me? What does this curse entail exactly?"

"Each person who makes the blood sacrifice can alter it anyway they want. However, if he stayed within the boundaries that I taught him, then his curse will be limited. I do believe he has extended his knowledge more than I ever taught him."

Rebecca looked at Shadow Dreamer and then to White Wolf. "So what does that mean? I do not understand why you believe this."

Shadow Dreamer lowered his eyes. "The cut on your arm, that was done by pulling a section of your skin for the blood offering. White Wolf came across his camp a few suns ago and we all recognized the remnants of the ceremony that was performed. He had found remnants of flesh and hair. If the ceremony was successful and you can see for yourself." He paused as he pointed to her arm.

"The area around your cut flesh should be black."

Rebecca looked at her arm and darkness surrounded the edges of the cut and black lines were climbing down to her arm. Her veins appeared to be turning black. "This also means that I do not know how to help you. He has delved deeper than I ever thought was possible. We do not know what to expect from him."

Rebecca felt anger surge inside of her. "You do not know? Is there anything you do know? If there is nothing that can help me, then why are you telling me this?" She brought a shaky hand to her forehead. She felt okay, was it true that she was cursed? Maybe they were wrong. Nothing had happened to prove that she had a curse on her. Her eyes scanned the dwelling and a silence fell upon the men. What happened that made them believe that the boy had placed a curse upon her?

Shadow Dreamer cleared his throat and all eyes turned to him. "I have seen this curse before. Many winters have passed since the time I was a young man and I can still remember the smell of burnt flesh when the sacrifice was made. There was a well-respected warrior who was strong and brave. He was the youngest warrior to ever be a red shirt wearer. All the maidens in the village wished for him to bring horses to their dwelling so they could wed him. However, no maiden caught his eye. One summer after a raid on the Pawnee he brought home a captive. The woman was smaller and frailer then our Lakota women, but something about her moved his heart. Many of our women were angered by his choice and the woman was beaten and tortured by many of the village women. When he wed the woman the other women moved on, except for one. She was so overcome with sadness that she walked off into the night and disappeared. A few suns went by and when they found her she was dead. Her tears frozen to her face was evidence of her painful rejection."

Rebecca looked at Shadow Dreamer and waited. She watched him lean forward and take a few puffs from his pipe and she sighed in agitation. How did that story have anything to do with her current situation. She turned her eyes to White Wolf and the slight nod of his head assured her, there was more to the story.

"It was a sad day for our people to lose a young woman at such a young age. One person took her death very hard. He was the son of the medicine man of the Brule Tribe and had secretly loved the girl. His anger began to consume him and his hate grew for the young warrior who had dismissed the girl's affections. He vowed to cause the same pain and suffering upon the warrior as he felt at losing his love. He had learned the healing ways from his father and used it to transform it into death. The young man used his own flesh for a sacrifice and in turn his curse was cast." Shadow Dreamer lowered his head and an eerie silence crept throughout the dwelling.

Rebecca felt a coldness creep through her and the hairs on her arm rose at the change. Something in the air had changed and she glanced at the other men to see if they noticed it as well.

"That young man was my brother and I have seen first-hand what that curse can do. The warrior has suffered much at the hands of my brother's curse. The wife of the warrior was taken from him as well as his child. Both were killed and the warrior has been plagued with one tragedy after another until the death of my brother.

That was it? All she had to do was wait for Blue Feather to die and the curse would be broken? "So when he dies, the curse is broken? That should be easy enough." She breathed a sigh of relief, her life was not doomed as they said she was.

"Ree-Beka, you must understand what I have told you. My brother used his own flesh as a sacrifice for the curse. When he died the curse was broken. The curse put upon you was done with your flesh, it cannot be undone until your death comes to pass."

Rebecca looked around at the faces of the men that surrounded her. They were stern and unyielding in their gazes. They offered her nothing. No apologies or condolences. She felt utterly alone and with no prospect of help her life seemed to dwindle before her like a flame in the wind. She felt a warm calloused hand on her arm and she slowly turned a dreary gaze to the man sitting next to her. Her eyes softened when she realized it was White Wolf.

"Ree-Beka, words cannot express to you how sorry I am that this has happened to you." His face had a strange look across it that could only be described as pain and sympathy. "I know you feel alone and might even be angry, but know this. . ." He paused as he repositioned himself and knelt in front of her and took both of her now cold hands into his warm ones. "I pledge to you my protection, sanctuary and safety for all time."

Rebecca lowered her eyes and wondered how long would his protection last. She felt his grasp lessen and she exhaled when he released one of her hands. She closed her eyes and fought with the fear rising within her. A burning pain crossed her left wrist and she jerked back and looked accusingly at White Wolf. "What in the blazes was that?" She looked at the bright red blood running from a thin line on her wrist. She watched as White Wolf made a similar cut to his wrist and locked his right arm with hers. His words were almost a whisper and she leaned forward to listen.

"Circle us oh Great Spirit, keep hope in and despair out.

Circle us oh Mother Earth, keep peace within and turmoil out.

Circle us oh Brother Wolf, keep comfort near and discouragement away."

Rebecca slowly raised her eyes and locked them with White Wolf. A strange warmth ran up her arm and across her chest. Her entire body felt like every hair was standing on end and the air was charged with a buzzing power. A haze seemed to surround them and for a brief moment and Rebecca felt that the words White Wolf had spoken, were a protection for her. The charge in the dwelling began to die down and soon Rebecca felt the air return to normal.

"White Wolf, what have you done?" Brave Elk shouted at his son and stood pointing at him, the look of fear and rage upon his face.

White Wolf closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He turned toward his father and spoke calmly to him. "I have offered her a blood oath of protection father. Our blood is one now. It is my duty to protect her."

"You have brought that curse upon yourself, that is what you have done. My son, your life is as doomed as hers." He lowered his head and sat back down, defeat weighing heavy upon him.

Tears ran down Rebecca's face and she watched small darkened spots appear on her dress as she fought to find her voice again. She took a deep breath and looked up at White Wolf. What could she say? A blood oath was a very serious and sacred event among the Lakota. It was a promise or bond made between two people that carried as much respect as the Red Shirt Wearers. To refuse or rebuke his oath was very disrespectful. She realized in that moment, that White Wolf cared for her beyond anything she could understand. Her voice was barely a whisper when she spoke. "Thank you White Wolf. You honor me with your pledge and your friendship." She felt him squeeze her hands and he leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers.

"I vow to protect you from harm until the rivers run dry and the mountains turn to dust." He handed her some fabric and she pressed it against her bleeding wrist.

"White Wolf, what you have done for Ree-Beka is very honorable. May your intervention help to lessen the burden upon her shoulders." Shadow Dreamer nodded and Three Stones spoke for the first time.

"White Wolf, Ree-Beka is my daughter and I am honored that you have done this to protect her. However, you know it is custom to ask the father before you pledge your life to a single woman."

White Wolf lowered his head and turned from Rebecca. "My pledge is for protection; it is up to Ree-beka if it is to be more."

Rebecca looked from White Wolf to Three Stones. Her mind was a muddled mess of confusion. If the pledge was to be more? What did she miss? "I am sorry, what do you mean by if the pledge is to be more? More of what exactly?"

Three Stones smiled and he nodded in White Wolfs direction. "Since you are single, the blood oath White Wolf performed not only offers you protection, but makes him your husband."

The air was sucked from her lungs and for a moment she was left speechless. Husband? White Wolf was now her husband?

White Wolf saw the look of panic and fear on Rebecca's face. A sudden pang of disappointment filled his chest when he realized she did not wish to be his wife. He cleared his throat. "Ree-Beka, I offer you my protection, but it is up to you to accept the offer of anything else. Return to your dwelling with your family, we can discuss this later." He reached for her arm and gently rubbed her arm with his thumb. "It is your choice Ree-Beka. I am letting you decide."

Rebecca looked around the dwelling and nodded her head. The men would stay and smoke to conclude the meeting. She would return to her dwelling and determine what she must do that was the best for her and her son.

Chapter 18

Rebecca awoke early and readied Acorn before she cleaned up her sleeping pallet and got dressed. She secured Acorn onto his cradleboard and then pulled him onto her back. She stopped and looked up, when her mother walked into the dwelling.

"Ree-beka, you need to get ready for this evening's event. You do not have time for chores." Fallen Star was carrying water bags and a bag of buffalo chips. She looked at her surprised daughter and smiled.

Rebecca stood in front of her mother. "Hun, you finished all the morning chores by yourself?"

"Cunksi, we have so much to do before the ceremony this evening, you do not have enough time to do your chores. Your sister has asked a few of her friends and their mothers to help out. Morning Sun just handed these to me and Deer has gathered our firewood."

"Tonight! The ceremony is tonight? I thought I would have more time. I do not think I am ready for this." Rebecca watched her mother hang the water bags and put the bag of buffalo chips next to the fire pit. Her heart began to race when she realized all the things she would need to do in front of the entire Lakota village.

"Ree-beka, the elders have seen your work and the changes you have gone through. Whether, you think it or not they believe you are ready to become a Lakota. Why not go to the river and bathe, we have a lot to do before this evening. Leave Acorn here, we have plans for him as well." Fallen Star took Acorn and gently shooed Rebecca out of the tipi.

Rebecca looked around and saw the village buzzing with activity. She walked to Morning Sun's and they both headed toward the river. The sky was a bright clear blue and Rebecca smiled at the beauty of a new day. Although the air was cold, she knew that the sun would warm it and tried to think which dress she had would be the most appropriate for her adoption. She softly hummed to herself as she and her friend walked.

"Can an old friend join you on your walk this morning?"

Rebecca turned to the voice to see Strong Bear coming toward her. He nodded to Morning Sun and her friend smiled in return. "How wonderful it is to see you again. Where have you been the past few suns? Were you off hunting with some of the other men?"

"No, I have been around, but you must remember that this village is much larger than you are used to. There are about four or five hundred more people here. I did not mean to delay you from your chores. I just wanted to say hello and I am looking forward to the ceremony tonight."

"Thank you Strong Bear. Please be sure to make more of an effort to find me. I would like to visit with you again." Rebecca waved good-bye to Strong Bear. She was still very grateful to him and his friend that found her and cared for her when she had been attacked by a white trapper the year before. She sighed and went further down the river to find a spot to bathe.

"It is to be a good morning for you Rebecca."

The soft melodic voice of Morning Sun made Rebecca smile as her friend knelt down beside her. "Thank you so much for helping with my chores. It was very unexpected and unnecessary, especially in your condition." Rebecca looked at Morning Sun's swollen belly and gently placed her hand on it. "I hope you did not over due it. You really should be taking it easy."

"I know I am supposed to take it easy, but with three other children, it can be difficult. Kicking Elk helps out, more than he should, yet I feel I never am able to sit down for long." She walked into the surprisingly warm water and sat down to fully immerse herself. "I am so tired all the time, and my feet are so swollen." Morning Sun lifted her leg out of the water in an attempt to show Rebecca her foot. In her efforts she lost her balance and her head went under water. She sat up from the water coughing and spitting water. Both women soon erupted into laughter and continued to wash before they slowly stumbled out of the water holding each other's hand for balance.

"Rebecca, when I finish with my chores I will be over to help you prepare for tonight."

"Thank you. I look forward to it." Rebecca waved to her friend and walked back to her dwelling. She walked inside and was surprised by her mother's frantic pacing.

"Cunksi, I have all the gifts to the village elders prepared for you to give. Your dress is getting some final beading done and I will make sure Smiling Woman helps in carrying them tonight. Right now, we need to get you ready."

Rebecca was rushed inside and told to sits on the floor by the fire. Her mother; brushed and braided her hair, while her sister continued beading her dress. Her Aunts rubbed her arms and legs with a sweet smelling oil as all of the women chatted back and forth to each other. Everything that was done during her preparation for this evening ceremony was symbolic to her adoption. Her hair, face painting, and all the women inside the dwelling were all connected to her adoption. Rebecca knew that her mother would go through a mock trial of birthing rituals, just as she would have if she had given birth to Rebecca.

Rebecca stood and was helped into her white doeskin dress. Her mother stood in front and held her hands tightly.

"Cunksi, we are so proud. I am so happy you chose Three Stones and I as your parents." Rebecca blinked away tears that threatened to fall as she embraced her mother. It had taken several hours to prepare for this event and Rebecca was now getting very nervous. Beating drums could be heard in the distance and Fallen Star took the cue that she had to leave. "Three Stones will be here shortly. We will go now." She kissed Rebecca's forehead and all the women left the dwelling.

Rebecca began to pace the floor and pulled at her fingers as she waited for Three Stones. Similar feelings of anticipation had filled Rebecca when she married Kevin. The only thing that got her to relax was a gift Kevin's mother had given her moments before she walked down the aisle. "Oh Lord please let me still have it." Rebecca went to her trunk that she refused to leave behind when they traveled to their winter camp and she rummaged through it. The gold bracelet was wrapped up in Kevin's old nightshirt at the bottom of her trunk. Intricate carvings were etched across it and the metal felt cool against her skin as she slid it on her wrist. Kevin's mother said her husband had given it to her on their wedding day. It was said to be magic and it wouldn't work if it was not given as a gift. Rebecca never heard the story about what kind of magic it held, but right now it was helping her relax and that was magic enough for her.

"Are you ready my Cunksi?" Three Stones' voice startled Rebecca and she muffled a yelp with her hand.

"Yes I am ready." Rebecca pulled her buffalo robe on and followed Three Stones outside. Rebecca saw hundreds of people gathered together for her adoption. It gave her a great sense of pride and awe at the awesome togetherness these people shared. She walked straight with her arms folded in front of her. They both walked to the beat of the drum and as they got closer to the center of the village, Rebecca could hear singing. Once she and Three Stones reached the center of the village they were met by Fallen Star and Shadow Dreamer. Three women walked up to them and began to rub sage on their arms and legs. When they finished, the entire camp became quiet as they began to sing. Their voices drowned out the drums and flutes that accompanied them. It was like nothing she had heard in her life. Chills ran up her back at the beauty of their voices, songs being sung just for Rebecca. Soon their singing faded and then stopped and Shadow Dreamer took it as his cue to begin.

"This woman has chosen to live her life as an Oglala. She was given new parents and taught the ways of our people. She was welcomed on a trial basis, and instructed to complete some tasks. Have you completed the tasks we asked of you Ree-Beka?"

Rebecca stepped forward and turned to her sister, Smiling Woman, who helped bring her things to the village elders who were seated to the left of the fire circle. They all examined her weaving, tanning, pottery and beading.

The Medicine Man continued, "The life of a Oglala woman is a hard and trying life. They are expected to carry out four virtues given to them when they become a woman during the celebration of their Buffalo Ceremony. The four virtues are bravery, generosity, truthfulness and childbearing. Do you promise that you will carry out these virtues?"

"Yes I do."

He turned to Three Stones and Fallen Star and asked them questions. "As her parents will you guide her on the path as an Oglala woman?"

They both nodded their heads and Shadow Dreamer went to the elders to talk to them while the three women began to sing again. When their singing was finished, the Medicine Man stood in front of Three Stones, Fallen Star and Rebecca. "The elders have all agreed that Ree-Beka's tasks have all passed. With her final adoption she has been given a new name. They name her for her hair that is the color of the sun that burns in our sky and the kind and gentleness of a dove. It is my duty to welcome our newest Oglala woman, Fire Dove! Fallen Star will you now place your family crest across your daughter's shoulders."

Three Stones pulled the warm buffalo robe off Rebecca as Fallen Star placed the woven blanket onto her daughter's shoulders. The drums began to beat again and singing erupted as the celebration concluded.

Relief flooded Fire Dove's veins and she stood smiling at her parents. Warm hands grasped her shoulders and she turned around to a smiling White Wolf. Her heart skipped a beat as she looked into the dark eyes of her dear friend.

"How do you feel?"

Fire Dove grasped White Wolf's hand into hers. "I feel truly blessed to be loved by so many people." She looked around and leaned closer to White Wolf. "It is good to see so many happy after such a difficult winter."

White Wolf smiled and lowered his head to Fire Dove's. "I agree. Our people needed this time to heal and laugh again. We can talk later, you have much celebrating to do." He squeezed her hands and then slowly pulled away as he disappeared into the crowd.

Soon the entire village was alive with dancing, singing and games. Fire Dove was soon pulled into the excitement by her sister and danced for several songs. She became tired and went to sit down and rest before the couple dance started. Fire Dove heard from her sister that White Wolf was going to ask her to dance and she wanted to be well rested for the long dance.

"Fire Dove may I speak with you for a moment?" Strong Bear had approached her from the shadows of some trees and Fire Dove jumped at his approach.

"Yes, please join me." She patted the seat next to her in hopes he would sit with her.

"I would prefer to walk if you do not mind."

Fire Dove nodded her head and slowly stood to walk with Strong Bear. Although she would rather sit, Strong Bear was an elder and requested her to walk and she would do so without question. They walked for several moments in silence and Fire Dove was eager to ask him what he wanted to talk about. However, she knew she must wait until spoken to, out of respect.

Finally, Strong Bear spoke. "I am very intrigued about your bracelet. Where did you get it?"

Fire Dove pulled her arm out of her buffalo robe and looked down at her wrist. "My husband's mother gave it to me on my wedding day. I do not know much about it, but I was told this is magical."

"It must be given to someone for the magic to work. It is used to ward off bad spirits and give the person strength when they most need it."

Fire Dove's mouth hung open in surprise. "How . . . How did you know about that?"

"I came to you wanting to know the same. How did you get that bracelet!" Strong Bear's eyes were cold and angry orbs of bitterness. "I gave that bracelet to my wife several summers ago. How is it you now have it in your possession?"

"There must be some mistake, how do you know this is your wife's? You have no proof that this was hers. There must have been others like it."

"Not when I carved every etching in it with my own hands, and when I have its mate!" Strong Bear held out a similar bracelet that matched the one on Fire Dove's wrist. "I want that bracelet, Fire Dove, it does not belong to you." Strong Bear pulled at Fire Dove's arm in an attempt to pull the gold band from her.

Fire Dove was frightened of Strong Bear. His face was ugly with anger and his eyes burned with hate for her. "If you want it that much, then you can have it." She pulled it off and threw it at Strong Bear.

Strong Bear's anger hurt Fire Dove and tears ran down her face in frustration. How could she have been such a bad judge of character?

"What is wrong, Fire Dove?" White Wolf had seen Fire Dove walking away from the celebration and not responding to people who called to her. He looked at her red face and noticed she had been crying, and his heart ached for her.

Fire Dove wiped at her eyes angrily. "It is nothing. I just had a disagreement with Strong Bear. I am okay. I just want to go to my dwelling for a bit and calm down. Please let me go." Rebecca pushed at White Wolf's chest when she saw Strong Bear approaching her again.

"Just wait a minute, what did you disagree about? Whatever it was he should have never made you cry like that." White Wolf nodded his head to Strong Bear in greetings, but he was steaming inside. How dare he hurt Fire Dove in such a way that she would cry and run from him. "Greeting, Strong Bear. How are you?"

The older man nodded his head to White Wolf and gave angry eyes to Fire Dove. "I think that Fire Dove needs to be trained more on our people's customs and traditions. A Lakota does not lie or steal. If she was a true Lakota she would know this"

"White Wolf, please, I just want to go. This is supposed to be a happy time for me. Please let me go."

White Wolf looked at Fire Dove's hurt face and knew talking with Strong Bear would only cause her more hurt. "Yes, Fire Dove, you can go." He turned to Strong Bear. "I will talk with you another time." He turned and followed Fire Dove.

Strong Bear stared at the white woman's back and hate for her burned in his veins. He would prove to the others that she was a thief and a liar. Then she would be shamed and disfigured before being sent back to the whites.

White Wolf caught up with Fire Dove and convinced her to go back to the dancing. He made sure she was with her mother and sister before walking away. He may not be next to her, but White Wolf continued to keep a watchful eye over Fire Dove. He did not trust Strong Bear.

Fire Dove looked at her mother's smiling face as she held her face in her hands. "My daughter, this is a celebration. Wipe the sadness from your face and have some fun."

Fire Dove listened to her mother and put aside her encounter with Strong Bear. She wanted to remember this celebration as a happy one. With all the sadness and unfortunate events that happened over the winter, she was eager for something happy to be occurring. Soon she was laughing again and enjoying herself when White Wolf approached her for the couple dance. "Will you dance with me for the couple dance?"

"White Wolf, the woman is supposed to ask the man for this dance. Go sit back down, you are embarrassing me." She laughed at his eagerness and soon the music quieted and Brave Elk called for everyone's attention.

"As everyone knows it is time for the couple dance. Men, please have a seat, it is the women's turn to pick their choices for this evening. You must remember if you are picked you must dance, those are the rules. Enjoy."

A few drums began to beat softly as women filed out to the opening and began to circle around looking for their chosen partner. Fire Dove waited for a bit with her sister before joining the other women. There was a lot of giggling and Fire Dove scanned the crowd for White Wolf. She spotted him standing with her parents holding Acorn. As he played with her son warmth filled her belly. He was everything a father should be. Although the blood vow he had given her claimed her as his wife he had not persuaded her to take him if it was not her wish. He had been a true friend to her and her insides warmed at the thought of him. She smiled and walked over to him and asked him to dance.

White Wolf handed Acorn off to Fallen Star and took Fire Dove by the elbow to the center of where everyone was dancing. The dances were fast paced and Fire Dove had to concentrate on her steps so she wouldn't mess up. They danced for several songs and Fire Dove was getting lightheaded from the dancing and laughing. "Maybe we should sit the next one out. I need something to drink and to catch my breath."

The two walked through the crowd of people toward Fire Dove's parents. They had just reached Fallen Star and Three Stones' when some loud voices made the music stop.

"I wonder what is going on? White Wolf can you see where the commotion is coming from." Three Stones, Fallen Star and Fire Dove stood close to each other as they scanned the crowd looking for Smiling Woman.

The voices were getting louder and soon the crowd began to part and people turned towards Fire Dove and her family. A shiver ran down her back when Fire Dove realized the commotion was caused because of her.

"Get the white woman, she is the cause of this problem." One voice rang out from the crowd and Fallen Star grabbed her daughter's hand. "You will not be in any danger Fire Dove. You are Oglala now, not a white woman. Trust me this is nothing to worry about." The tiny woman grabbed Fire Dove's hand and they walked behind Three Stones to the center of the crowd where Brave Elk, Strong Bear and a few village elders were standing.

"What is the meaning of all this? My daughter has caused no problems. This is a day of celebration, not fighting. Who dares to damper our special day." Three Stones spoke loudly over the other voices and soon the crowd quieted.

Strong Bear walked towards Three Stones and anger was evident on his face. "This woman; this Wasciu, is a thief and a liar. She has not been a Lakota for a full day and has already failed to live up to her virtues."

White Wolf had heard enough and stormed up to Strong Bear. His knife was drawn and against Strong Bear's throat before the man realized who was holding it.

"I am tired of your lies Strong Bear, I think it is your tongue we should cut out." White Wolf had wrestled Strong Bear to the ground and was trying to force the older man's mouth open so he could get to his tongue.

"White Wolf, Strong Bear, please stop this." Fire Dove was in tears as she pulled at White Wolf's shoulders. "I don't want this. Please, if he believes I lied about something, then let me handle it. I do not need you to fight my battles." Fire Dove backed away so White Wolf could stand.

"I made a vow to protect you Fire Dove. Although we do not live together as man and wife, you are still my responsibility to protect. I will not allow this man to disrespect you like this."

Fire Dove smiled and placed her hand on White Wolf's arm and turned to the village chief. "Brave Elk, what must be done for me to prove to Strong Bear that I did not lie?"

The chief looked at Fire Dove and then to the other elders. "We will want to hear both sides of the story. However, now is not the time to discuss this. We will meet tomorrow at sundown at Shadow Dreamer's dwelling. Until then, I want both of you to stay away from each other." He nodded his head to Three Stones and Fallen Star and motioned for the drummers and flute players to begin playing music again. People started to dance again and things continued as if nothing had happened. Fire Dove, however, had lost all her excitement for dancing and wanted to go home.

"I know this is for me mother, but I just want to be alone right now. Could you watch Acorn for me?" Her mother nodded and Fire Dove hugged her and kissed Acorn on the head as she walked back to her dwelling.

White Wolf watched from a distance and then followed Fire Dove to make sure she arrived safely.

Fire Dove wasn't surprised when White Wolf approached her. She could tell he was concerned for her and it warmed her heart to know he cared so much. As the two walked they talked about Strong Bear's accusations. They both assumed the matter was settled when she gave Strong Bear the bracelet. "I honestly do not know why he has this sudden rage against me. He was so nice when I was at his village."

"I am not sure myself, but I will watch out for you whether you want it or not. You are very precious to me, Fire Dove, and I do not want any harm to come to you." He cupped her face with his hand as he rubbed a finger down the length of her nose. There was a small bump at the ridge, from where it had been broken the year before. It did little to distract anyone from her beauty. He knew that Fire Dove was aware that the penalty for lying was to have the tip of her nose cut off. What a waste of such a delicate feature. He leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers and inhaled the fresh smell of her hair. He knew as her protector he should not allow his personal feelings to distract him. His blood burned for her and he had wanted to possess her from the moment their blood mingled into one. He pressed his lips on hers and deepened the kiss. His head began to spin with the excitement of her lips on his and the feeling of her tongue exploring his mouth. White Wolf let his hands trail down her back and he pulled her body close to his. Something in the way she responded to his kisses made him believe he could do this forever. He knew he should stop and he pulled away. "I think I should go."

Fire Dove looked at White Wolf and saw the glazed look in his eyes. She could tell that he did not want to stop, even though he was telling her they should. She was surprised at how quickly her affection for White Wolf grew and leaned forward and rested her forehead against his warm chest. He smelt of horse and sweat, and she closed her eyes as she listened to the pounding of his heart.

White Wolf lifted her chin with his fingertip and an odd expression came over his face. He gently pushed her hair away from her eyes and ran a fingertip from her cheekbone down to her chin. "Fire Dove, you have my heart and in turn I have given you my soul. I am not whole unless I am with you." He lowered his head again and their lips locked in a passionate kiss. He had thought of holding her from the moment of their last embrace. He needed her so badly it felt as if he would die if he didn't touch her again. He pulled away and wrapped his arms tightly around her as he spoke. "Tell me that you feel the same as I?"

"You should not be speaking with my Cunksi, daughter in such a manner."

The startled couple turned to an angry Three Stones. Fire Dove quickly pulled her robe up and blushed as White Wolf stood in front of her.

"Three Stones, I understand you are upset, but what we are doing is not wrong. By all rights, she is my wife because of the blood vow I made to her."

"Yes, you are correct that you made a blood vow. However, you left the decision in her hands if she was to accept your marriage." He turned to look at Fire Dove who was peering from behind White Wolf. "Fire Dove I think you should come with me." Three Stones walked back to the pathway with Fire Dove behind him. "This is not appropriate behavior. You do not need any more attention pointed toward you right now. You should know that what Strong Bear is accusing you of is very serious."

"I understand, however I felt the truth would win out. I have nothing to hide."

Three Stones stopped and faced Fire Dove. She was taller than he was, and looked so different from everyone else in the village, yet he loved her as his daughter. His fears for her fate were more crippling than he ever thought possible. "There are things you do not understand yet, and might not for several winters, but the laws of the Lakota always favor the men, whether they are right or wrong."

Fire Dove lowered her head in realization that the white world she thought she had left behind was a lot closer than she thought. Women never got a fair deal with men.

Chapter 19

The following day Fire Dove sat in Black Elk's large dwelling with the village elders as Strong Bear began to speak. Her palms were sweaty and her stomach was doing summersaults. Her mother and father were on either side of her and White Wolf had just arrived and was sitting behind her for added support. Her parents had assured her that the elders would not be as strict because she was still learning their customs, but she would still be punished if found to be guilty.

"I had given this bracelet to my wife on our wedding day over twenty-five summers ago. She had it on at all times, until her death by the hands of white soldiers. It was stolen before they burned her to death along with my young son. I considered it lost forever until I found Fire Dove wearing it during her adoption ceremony. When I questioned how she got it, she tells me it was a gift from her mother-in-law."

"I understand that it could have been given to another white from the soldier that killed my wife, but she attempted to know the history of the bracelet. She overheard me telling the story of the bracelet when she was at my village a few moons ago. She then used it to add to her lie that it was hers to begin with. I feel her lies and deceit deserve punishment."

A few elders nodded their heads and talked quietly with each other before they gave Fire Dove permission to talk. In her eyes they had already made their decision. She stood and looked at the faces of all the elders before speaking.

"I am grateful you are allowing me to speak. I will tell you my side, so I too can be heard." She took a deep breath and began her explanation. "I was given the bracelet as a wedding gift from my white mother-in-law. She told me the story of the bracelet and I retold it to Strong Bear when he questioned me about it after he saw me wearing it. I never heard him speak of it before. When he told me it was his I returned it to him, no questions asked and I considered the matter closed. Now he accuses me of lying and stealing, and this I do not understand. If the bracelet was stolen and I received stolen property, I had no knowledge of it. I am sorry and hope this matter can be resolved."

Fire Dove sat and lowered her head, as the elders talked for a bit. Brave Elk stood and asked for the tipi to be emptied so they could discuss and make their decision.

Fire Dove and her family stood outside the dwelling and huddled around a fire to keep warm as the men discussed her possible punishment. She hadn't even been a Lakota for a day and she had somehow gotten herself in trouble. Was this the result of the curse that was put upon her? To be riddled with bad luck? She watched Strong Bear out of the corner of her eye and saw him staring at her. She turned to face him and he erupted like a volcano.

"I will get even with you, even if this does not go as I had hoped. You are scum and deserve no mercy or kindness from us at all."

Fire Dove was taken aback at his harsh words. "I still do not understand why you hate me so much." Tears began to fall from her eyes and her mother grabbed her hand and squeezed it. "I thought you were such a kind man to help me out when I was hurt. How could me having that bracelet change you so much?"

Strong Bear advanced quickly and in seconds was only inches from Fire Dove's face. "Because your people took everything I held dear away from me! I thought I could forgive and go on, but I see you are all the same. Your white mother-in-law is just as much a thief as the solider who pulled it from my wife's dead arm. You can all die a painfull death and may the buzzards pick your bones of flesh and scatter your remains so you may never know rest!"

Fire Dove pushed at Strong Bear's chest and he stumbled back a few feet. Fallen Star and Three Stones stood shocked at Fire Dove's action. She knew it was not something she should have done, but her Irish temper had erupted and there was no holding back. "If you ever speak to me that way again I will cut your tongue out and feed it to the dogs. Elizabeth Donnelly was no thief or liar. She told me her husband gave her that bracelet on her wedding day and I believe her, as you should have when I told you where I got it!"

Just as Fire Dove finished speaking the elders came out and everyone turned to them. "We have discussed the matter and have decided that there was no fault to Fire Dove for having the bracelet. It was returned to Strong Bear when he asked for it, so there is no damage done. This matter has been settled."

Fire Dove looked at her mother and father and they happily hugged one another. They could go on without further problems from Strong Bear. White Wolf stood by Fire Dove and joined in the celebrating. He looked at Strong Bear and saw the shock and surprise on his face. He was mumbling to himself and staring at his hands. "Fire Dove, I think we should go now. I do not like the look of Strong Bear. I think it is wise we return to your parents' dwelling." They all agreed and walked back to the warmth of Three Stones and Fallen Star's dwelling.

In the weeks that followed the decision of the village elders it became much cooler and frost began to cover the ground at night. Fire Dove and White Wolf spent many afternoons talking by her parents' fire. Three Stones wanted to keep his daughter under a close eye, after everything that happened with Strong Bear. He was worried that the curse Blue Feather had put upon her was rearing its ugly head and his daughter's safety was in jeopardy. Three Stones did not want to chance anything.

One afternoon as Fire Dove and her sister were sewing in their dwelling they heard scratching at their entrance flap. "It is probably White Wolf coming to visit." Fire Dove allowed the visitor in and stifled a scream when she noticed it was Strong Bear. "Smiling Woman, go get father!" Her sister quickly darted past Strong Bear and was gone before he had the chance to drop his buffalo robe.

"I warn you Strong Bear, do not lay a hand on me or you will be sorry." Fire Dove scanned her immediate surrounding to see if she could find something that she could use as a weapon.

"I did not come to harm you Fire Dove, I came to talk. I can wait for the others to arrive if you wish. I think it best this be said with everyone present."

Fire Dove did just that, she waited for her family to return, and held them off just long enough to let them know he only wanted to talk. Everyone including White Wolf and his father Brave Elk sat around the fire and waited for Strong Bear to speak.

"I have lived many winters, most of them alone, and I guess it has turned my heart bitter. To this day everyone knows that my wife and son were killed in a fire when soldiers attacked our village many summers ago. They do not know that I lied about their fate." He paused for a moment and took a deep breath before beginning again. "My family did not die in the attack. Soldiers took them and she returned to her white family." A gasp escaped from Fire Dove's mouth. His wife had been white?

"I thought it best for the lives of my people that her and my son should not return. I never went looking for them." The dwelling held an eerie silence as Strong Bear cleared his throat and continued.

"I knew every day I had spent with my wife was a stolen moment. When she was taken away I felt it was my punishment for the ones I had hurt in my past. Many winters passed and I lived with memories of her and the child I would never see grow." Strong Bear lowered his head as he continued to speak. "Fire Dove, I am deeply sorry for the way I treated you. I saw that bracelet and figured it was stolen from my wife and I wanted it back. It never occurred to me that she might have been the one who gave it to you." Strong Bear looked up and saw the surprised look on Fire Dove's face.

"You spoke her name Fire Dove. Elizabeth Donnelly was my wife many summers ago."

Fire Dove was speechless. This could not be happening, could it? She knew Kevin was part Indian, but Strong Bear his father? No, this isn't real. He is just toying with her. "You must have heard me mention her name before and the fact that my husband's father was Oglala. You are just trying to hurt me more, and it won't work. I will not let you do this to me." She stood and attempted to walk toward the back of the dwelling, but her mother stopped her.

"Fire Dove are you listening to yourself? You are accusing him of the same thing he had accused you. I think you should sit and listen to what he must say. I have a feeling this might be of great importance."

Fire Dove did as her mother instructed and sat back down. "I am not sure I should believe anything you are telling me Strong Bear. I know that it is a surprise that the names match, but, how can I be sure that Kevin's mother was your wife?"

A few murmurs were heard as the others agreed with Fire Dove. White Wolf kept a watchful eye on Strong Bear, but thought of something that might clear up this confusion. He got up and asked Fire Dove to come with him to where her belongings were. "I think you should show Strong Bear your painting of your wedding day. Ask him to pick out Elizabeth and see if he is correct. There is no harm in him seeing it, right?"

Fire Dove nodded to White Wolf and while he went to sit back with the rest of the visitors she dug through her trunk until she found her wedding portrait. She carefully unwrapped the picture and walked to Strong Bear. "Maybe this will clear things up a bit."

Strong Bear looked at what Fire Dove had handed him and a gasp escaped his throat. "Oh my precious Budding Flower, how you have grown into a beautiful woman." Tears rolled down his face as he gently touched the tiny face behind the glass frame. "She had eyes the color of spring grass and hair the color of a Raven's wing."

It was all the evidence Fire Dove needed, Strong Bear was Kevin's father. Everyone seemed to know the two would need to be alone and one by one they filed out as Fire Dove and Strong Bear talked.

It was the strangest thing she had ever gone through. Fire Dove looked at Strong Bear and things that didn't make sense before seemed to fall into place. "Strong Bear, I am sorry you will never know your son, but you have to remember you still have a grandson."

Strong Bear was in such shock from everything it was hard to take it all in. Could this all be happening? He had found his wife after so many long winters. His heart leapt with joy as he stood and paced the floor. He had so many questions to ask he wasn't sure where to start. "Tell me of the white man that married my wife and raised my son? He must be a gracious man to raise another man's child."

"She did not marry anyone else. She only spoke of one marriage. She told me her husband was killed during the war and she refused to marry again. She often spoke of how much she loved her husband and could never have the same feelings for anyone else. She always regretted not telling him she was with child the last time they were together."

Strong Bear looked at Fire Dove surprised. He was so caught up in trying to make sense of everything he did not realize what she had said. "You say she had another child?"

"Yes. From what I can remember she said her husband never knew she was with child. It is something she has spoken of many times that has saddened her heart." She looked at the picture again and showed it to Strong Bear. "Her name is Amanda and she is very beautiful." Fire Dove pointed Amanda out to Strong Bear. She tried to read his expression, but his face was unreadable as he looked at the picture of Amanda.

Strong Bear turned to Fire Dove. "She is as beautiful as her mother." Strong Bear became quiet and gently touched the cool glass with his fingertips. "Where is the man that raised my children? The man that took my place in Budding Flowers heart?"

Fire Dove looked at the sadness that now showed on Strong Bear's face. His pain was so evident that her heart pained for him. She knew he was still deeply in love with Elizabeth. "Strong Bear, no one raised Kevin & Amanda, except Elizabeth. As far as I can remember, she only spoke of one man she was married to Strong Bear. That man was you." She watched his face and smiled when he finally realized what she was telling him.

"My Budding Flower never re-married and raised our children alone?"

"I guess you can say she raised them alone. She lived with her father and he was worthless in the rearing of them. He was always a cold-hearted person. I do not understand how such a sweet woman came from someone so cruel." Fire Dove remembered Kevin's grandfather as a mean-spirited man that never seemed happy. He always had some negative comment to say about everything.

"Fire Dove, I believe that I need to return this to you." He took her hand and placed the metal bracelet onto it. "This was given to you as a gift and I want you to keep it. Give it to Acorn when he is older, a present from his Grandfather." A soft smile crossed his face. "Please tell me about my wife and children. I have missed out on so much of their lives."

Fire Dove took Strong Bear's hand and made him look at her. "I will do my best to tell you all there is to know." Fire Dove returned the bracelet to her wrist and sat with Strong Bear for several hours retelling him stories of birthdays and town parties. In a short time they were talking like old friends again.

Chapter 20

April 1802

Fire Dove walked slowly across the muddy ground to her parent's tipi. The warm spring air blew at her as she waved to her sister, Smiling Woman and friend Morning Sun. The smell of newly budded flowers and fresh prairie grass filled the air with a springtime scent. "I will join you after I bring Acorn to my Ina." Fire Dove quickly picked up her pace and handed her son to her mother. "I will be doing some mending with Smiling Woman and Morning Sun. I will be back to feed Acorn shortly."

Fire Dove reached her friends and happily sat down next to Morning Sun. She peeked over at her friends' new baby girl that was sleeping soundly on her mother's back. "How is Moon Crest doing?"

"My daughter is growing more each day. She makes Kicking Elk and I very proud." Morning Sun continued to scrap the hide she was working on. Her long raven braids swayed back and forth as she worked. "How are things with you and White Wolf?"

"We are fine. We still have heard no news about his brother and so far, we both have escaped any misfortune." Fire Dove smiled to herself as she thought about White Wolf. The past five moons after her formal adoption were tense, but exciting times. There was a small war party sent out to search for Blue Feather, but no sign of him was found. White Wolf was proving true to his promise of protection and was by her side at all times. Morning Sun had teased her by saying White Wolf was more like her shadow and should be given the name Shadow Wolf instead. A warmth filled her inside to know that White Wolf was determined to keep her safe and away from harm. As the weather began to change and a warmth crept across the land with a changing of seasons, Fire Dove thought of her family back East. This was the time when she had been told she could return home. She looked around the busy village and her heart pained at the thought of never seeing these people again. Her life with the Oglala wasn't easy and at times she thought about returning to her parents back East. As she looked at her friend, her new sister and thought of White Wolf a warmth filled her belly. No this was her home now.

She looked around the busy village and remembered that soon the village would pack up and head to the summer hunting grounds. She would be returning to the place where everything had changed for her. She had a new family and new life. White Wolf, he meant so much to Fire Dove and everyday her feelings for him grew. She never thought she could care for anyone so much, especially after Kevin. She was still saddened by his death, but felt that her life was different now and she had to move on. White Wolf was her protector now and vowed his life to her. If she never accepted him as a husband, he would remain by her side for the rest of her life. She knew in her heart that all the events that led her here was because she was meant to be with White Wolf. Fire Dove sighed and cleared her mind of the thoughts.

"Fire Dove, I believe your parents want to speak with you." Morning Sun's sweet voice called out to her friend as she daydreamed.

Fire Dove was pulled from her thoughts and raised her head to see Three Stones, Fallen Star and Brave Elk talking by her parents dwelling. Her stomach was tied in knots as she stood and walked towards the small group.

Fallen Star nodded at her daughter when she approached. "Hello my Cunks, daughter. Come with us inside, we wish to talk to you."

Fire Dove saw the stern look on her father's face. He usually had a pleasant look about him, and was surprised at the harsh expression that he now showed. A sudden fear clenched in the pit of her stomach. Had they found Blue Feather? Had something happened to White Wolf? Why else would Brave Elk be here? She lowered her head and stepped inside the dwelling. Her eyes had not yet adjusted to the dimness of the tipi and she waited a moment before walking any further.

"Do not be so shy woman, come and sit."

Chills ran down her back when she recognized White Wolf's voice. "White Wolf is that you?" She stepped forward and knelt in front of him. "Are you okay? Have they found out anything about your brother? Does this have to do with the curse?"

"Cunksi, please have a seat next to your mother. We have some important business to talk about." Three Stones watched his daughter move to sit by Fallen Star, and paused until the others were seated. "My wife and I have had long talks about the event's that will happen when we reach the summer camp." He paused briefly to clear his throat and smiled down at Acorn who was playing in Fallen Star's lap. "White Wolf has approached us with a matter we believe to be very serious. He wanted to speak with my daughter first, but knew our permission was required before he did anything." Three Stones looked over to White Wolf. He showed no expression and he remained motionless. "I feel it is now your turn to speak White Wolf."

Fire Dove turned her gaze from her father to White Wolf's. Their eyes locked for a brief moment and she slowly lowered hers. She wondered what he was going to say. She waited in anticipation for him to speak.

White Wolf stood and cleared his throat before he spoke. "Not long ago, my life's path was altered and I was forced to walk another. In the beginning, all I could think of was the life I had led before. It was not until I met another, that I realized my true path was before me. Our relationship began as friends and it slowly grew to something more. It was not until she was taken from me that I realized my true feelings. I vowed a blood oath to her, and it has bonded us for life." He took a deep breath and raised his head to calm himself. If he could face an enemy in hand to hand combat, he could do this. He lowered his head and locked eyes with Fire Dove. "Fire Dove, I know the laws of my people claim you as my wife. It is my wish… My hope if you will accept my proposal of marriage?"

The dwelling remained silent as all eyes focused on Fire Dove. Her pulse quickened and her stomach was doing flips. Did she hear him right? Did White Wolf just ask her to marry him? The questions seemed to echo in her mind as she slowly stood and walked to White Wolf. She took his warm, strong hangs into hers and looked up to his tall frame "Every time I hear your voice, my heart quickens and I hope this will last the rest of my days. I will be honored to marry you White Wolf."

Laughter filled the tipi and Three Stones leaned over to raise his peace pipe. The men of the two families would smoke as a binding commitment for both families.

Fire Dove leaned over and took Acorn from her mother. She kissed his chubby cheeks and stood to swing him around. She stopped when White Wolf walked up to her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and Acorn settled himself between the two. He leaned forward and rested his chin on Fire Dove's head. He smiled and closed his eyes as Acorn babbled to himself.

As the threesome shared a quiet moment, Three Stones, Fallen Star and Brave Elk talked about the upcoming celebration. Fallen Star was eager for the wedding but knew there were many things that had to happen first before any planning could begin. It would be at least three moons before the wedding could happen. After the Sundance Ceremony, that would take place in the next moon, the three tribes that had joined during the winter would break for their summer camps. Then there was the annual buffalo hunt and Fire Dove would need to make the new dwelling she and White Wolf would live in after they were married. Fallen Star smiled to herself and knew that the next few moons would fly by and then White Wolf and Fire Dove would be married.

Chapter 21

August 1802

Fallen Star looked up from blessing a shirt she had just finished for her husband when Fire Dove walked in. Her grandson was asleep in his cradelboard that was tied to Fire Dove's back. "He is sleeping already? I thought he usually naps later in the day."

Fire Dove carefully pulled the cradelboard off her back and laid her son down at the back of the dwelling. "He was up early this morning. All the excitement from my wedding must have gotten him off schedule. I am not worried though. He will be fine when all this is over with." Fire Dove sat by her mother and picked up her sewing. She began adding the extra beading to her wedding dress her mother had suggested.

"Your future with White Wolf will be filled with good things. I asked the Medicine Man, Shadow Dreamer to pray for you both. He then asked me to give you this." Fallen Star reached next to her and pulled out a small leather bound package.

Fire Dove smiled at her mother and carefully took the gift from her mother. "You did not have to do this. You have done so much for me already."

"I know that I have taught you well and you will not turn away the gift." Fallen Star smiled at her daughter and gently touched her face. She was a good daughter and would make a dutiful wife to White Wolf. "Please open it."

Fire Dove carefully untied the binding and opened up the package. Inside was a beautiful circular web that had intricate beading on it. She took a deep intake of breath as she carefully pulled it out to examine it. "Hun, mother, it is beautiful. I will hang it in my new home with White Wolf. I will cherish it always."

Fallen Star smiled down at her daughter. "It is to rid your dwelling of evil spirits and protect your children as they sleep." She gently cupped Fire Dove's face into her warm palms and placed a kiss on her daughter's forehead. "I wish you all the happiness that the Great Spirit can grant you."

Fire Dove smiled and thanked her mother as she leaned forward and embraced her. "I will not need anything as long as White Wolf is with me."

The rest of the day flew by for Fire Dove. Early the next morning her mother, two aunts and sister surrounded her. They all helped her prepare for her wedding that would take place later that day. Everything was so different, so unfamiliar to what she had been used to. Her first wedding was filled with flowers, lace, music and hundreds of the social elite. It was everything she had wanted, or what she thought she had wanted. She smiled to herself, she had been seventeen when she married Kevin, barely a woman. Her wedding was beautiful, yet did not bring her the completeness she was feeling now. Everything that would be said during the ceremony and all the steps that led up to it were symbolic to her and White Wolf's relationship. Their connection to Mother Earth, all the people in the village and the bond they will share once they were joined. Fire Dove sighed and thought back to her first wedding. She had never felt so calm or ready. It all felt so right this time. She thought maybe her nervousness before was due to what was expected of her on her wedding night. This time she understood very well what was expected. It was something she was looking forward to, more than anything.

Once Fire Dove was dressed and ready, her parents escorted her to the center of the village where White Wolf was standing. It seemed everyone was there. She kept her eyes downcast as the Medicine Man, Shadow Dreamer pulled White Wolf's and her hands together. He began a blessing and Fire Dove watched him as he performed a slow dance and shook eagle feathers over them.

Shadow Dreamer's voice was raspy, but clear as he spoke. "Let their joining blanket come forth."

Fallen Star quickly walked to where Fire Dove and White Wolf stood. Their hands were joined and Fallen Star placed the blanket around their shoulders. She smiled at her daughter and gently touched her face before walking away.

Fire Dove looked at White Wolf and smiled. She was memorizing every line and detail of his face. She wanted to remember this moment for the rest of her life. She could feel the pulse beating in his wrist as she held her hands around his. She looked down at their joined hands as Shadow Dreamer began his silent blessing. White Wolf gently rubbed the back of Fire Dove's hand with his thumbs as his grip tightened a little. She raised her head and stared into White Wolf's dark eyes. Everyone was silent as the village listened to Shadow Dreamer as he cleared his throat and began the ceremony.

"You both have journeyed to find each other. Let this joining show the spirits of our ancestors that you two will be one forever." He placed his hand on top of the two hands in front of him and bowed his head.

"White Wolf, you may speak your words to your bride."

Fire Dove turned and faced White Wolf. He held both of her hands in his and she felt

him using his thumbs to rub the back of her hand. He took a deep breath and spoke.

"My name is not my own, it was given to me by the Great Spirit. My body is not my own, it is on loan from Mother Earth. My soul has been broken for quite some time, and when I met you it was healed. I give you my body and my soul to honor my life. I have chosen this for not just your lifetime, but all the lifetimes." He then grabbed her wrist and wrapped his arm with hers. "Life is divided into two parts. What was and what will be forever."

Fire Dove stared at her right arm locked with White Wolf and smiled. A warmth filled her insides and she slowly raised her eyes to look up at White Wolf. His dark brown eyes stared at her and she could not wait to kiss his soft, full lips.

Shadow Dreamer spoke again and his words fell on Fire Dove's deaf ears. She no longer heard anyone but the beating of her heart in her ears. She took a quick intake of breath when she heard him speak loudly with his hands raised.

"This is a sacred day for these two. Join me in helping them celebrate their union. You are one!"

White Wolf leaned down and his lips gently touched hers. They lingered a moment as her heart quickened and he slowly pulled away. The corner of his mouth raised in a small smile.

The village hollered and whooped as music began to play and people began to dance. Fire Dove pushed through the crowd of people as she and White Wolf worked their way towards her parents. Fire Dove pulled a giggling Acorn into her arms and set him on her hip. Fire Dove's mother and sister hugged her as they gave their congratulations. Fire Dove couldn't believe this was real. She and White Wolf were married!

When the music suddenly stopped and a loud voice asked for silence, both Fire Dove and White Wolf turned their heads.

"My family and friends. I thank you for joining us on this great day. My son has married a wonderful woman. Welcome to the family." Brave Elk nodded his head to his son and daughter-in-law before speaking again. "We have much celebrating to do. Let us start the night with a horse race. Place all bets with Blue Pony and ready your horses by the river." Many men hollered in excitement and others boasted on how fast their horse were. Several of the villagers followed the men to the river and others remained to sing and dance. White Wolf watched many of his friends walk to the river and his mind became filled with other thoughts.

"White Wolf, this is our wedding day, why do you look so sad?" Fire Dove pulled her husband's hands to her face and placed kisses on them.

"I feel as if I am in a dream and this will end soon." He lowered his head to look upon Fire Dove's face. Her skin color had changed from the creamy white, to a deep brown and a dusting of brown freckles ran across her cheeks and nose. With every breath he took he was grateful he was able to share his time with Fire Dove.

"Why would you say such a thing? I am not planning to go anywhere."

"Do you know what the Ogle Lute Wicapi, Red Shirt Warrior is?" He saw the odd look on Fire Doves face.

"My father is one, correct?"

He shook his head. "No, not exactly, they are supreme warriors that dedicate their entire life to fighting the enemy. They never take a wife nor have children. Their entire life they travel from village to village teaching young men to be warriors and the art of hand on hand combat. They are greatly respected by everyone."

Fire Dove listened to White Wolf and gently touched the side of his face. "Why are you telling me this?"

"This is the life I was leading before I met you." White Wolf saw the confusion on his wife's face and cleared his throat. "The reason you have never seen any of the red shirt warriors is because so many die before their thirtieth summer. Their life is very, very dangerous. The men that join are usually ones that feel they have nothing to lose or to live for."

Fire Dove's heart pained for her husband and pulled his hand and placed it over her heart. "Why would you think you had nothing to live for?"

"I was in a dark place when I lost my first wife and son during childbirth. I felt empty and cold inside and thought my life's purpose was gone." White Wolf shook his head and leaned over and placed a soft kiss on his wife's lips. "On what was to be my last hunting party before leaving for the Red Shirt Society, I come across you giving birth to your son."

Fire Dove took a deep breath and rested her head against White Wolf's firm chest. "Why are you telling me this?"

"It was as if the Great Spirit was telling me that my life was not over and I was meant to be with you."

Fire Dove nodded her head in agreement. "Losing Kevin was hard. My whole life I was raised to be a wife and a mother. I never knew who I really was until I came here." She raised her head and looked up to her husband. His dark brown eyes looked down at her and her insides warmed. "I never stopped loving Kevin, and I do not think I ever will. However, what I feel for you is so different, maybe because I am different. Does that make sense?"

"We were on different paths and now we are on the path together. This is what I was meant to be. I was meant to be your husband and father to your children."

Fire Dove smiled and rested her head against White Wolf's chest again. She listened to his heart beat and was grateful that she was able to be happy again. "Yes, it is something I look forward to."

"Let us celebrate our wedding. I have waited too long for this night to let it slip by. He pulled at Fire Dove's hands and joined the other's that were dancing.

Fire Dove was soon lightheaded from all the dancing and pulled at White Wolf's arm. "White Wolf, I am tired. Please take me home so I can rest."

White Wolf walked with her to Fire Dove's parents and pulled Acorn into his arms and threw him up in the air until he laughed. "Would Acorn like to stay with his grandparents for the night?"

Fire Dove sat down on a log and nodded her head. She watched him talk with her parents and when he returned he took Fire Dove's hand, he pulled her close to him. He kissed his wife with all the love and passion he possessed. "Let us begin our life together mi chante, my heart."

Fire Dove smiled up at her husband and gently traced the tiny lines that crossed his forehead. "I have waited my entire life to feel this happy. My life begins and ends with you." They walked hand in hand towards their newly erected dwelling.

White Wolf looked around the spacious dwelling and admired the work Fire Dove had done. All of his belongings had been moved in and carefully hung in place. His war shield, bow and arrows were on a shelf at the back of their dwelling high above Acorn's reach. He knew she had the help of her sister and mother when sewing all the skins needed to make their home. However, he was truly impressed at all that she had done to make everything their own.

Fire Dove walked up to White Wolf. She stood inches from him, but did not touch him. She slowly raised her eyes and looked at the warm depths of his dark brown eyes. His warm breath could be felt on her face and she closed her eyes and allowed the warmth to continue to flow over her body. Inside her stomach was in knots. She had only been with Kevin and although she was yearning for White Wolf's touch, she was quivering with fear. Would he feel the same under her touch as Kevin did? How would she know what would please him? She opened her eyes and saw White Wolf had a small smile on his face. He reached a hand up and placed it on her chest, above her heart.

"I was wondering if your heart was beating as fast as mine. I am glad I am not the only one who is nervous."

Fire Dove exhaled loudly and wrapped her arms around his neck. She pulled at his surprised face and placed a passionate kiss on his warm lips. She felt an electricity run through her body when his arms wrapped around her pulling her against him. She surprised herself when she quickly began to pull at his shirt, wanting to feel his bare skin against hers. Fire Dove trailed kisses down White Wolf's neck and down to his now bare chest. She smiled, took a step back and gently pulled at the shoulder ties of her dress. In one quick motion she was naked and it wasn't long before White Wolf was as well.

"You are truly beautiful." White Wolf spoke in a husky voice as he stepped toward his wife and embraced her. Their lips locked and suddenly they were in a frenzy of kissing and touching. They collapsed to the ground and their bodies joined in a quick and demanding rush of excitement. White Wolf groaned as he released his hot fluids and collapsed on top of his wife. After a few minutes he placed a quick kiss on her lips and got up and walked across the dwelling to drink from the water bag that was hanging by the fire pit.

Fire Dove lay on the cool floor and watched her husband walk across the dwelling to get a drink. She lowered her eyes and held back the tears that threatened to fall. She thought things would be so different with White Wolf. It saddened her to know that her marriage bed would be no different with White Wolf as it was with Kevin. Always rushed and over before she could enjoy any part of their lovemaking. She sat up and grabbed her dress. "I will finish up some sewing while you rest?"

White Wolf turned his head toward his wife and looked at her in confusion. "Rest? Rest for what?"

She lowered her head, a bit embarrassed she spoke softly to White Wolf. "Kevin always took a nap afterwards. I just thought you would want to do the same."

"Fire Dove, I am not Kevin."

Fire Dove lowered her eyes when she spoke. "Just now, I felt like you were."

White Wolf watched her pull her dress back on and walked up to her while she was securing the shoulder ties. "What are you doing?" He saw the sadness on her face and his heart lurched in pain. He wrapped his arms around her and he felt the warm wetness on his shoulder from her tears. "Fire Dove, I am so sorry. I never should have done what I did. I never wanted you to remember our first time in that way." He cupped her face in his hands and placed soft kisses on her closed lids.

"I have not been with a woman since my first wife passed. My hunger for you overtook me and I used you carelessly. There is no excuse for my actions, but please let me make it up to you. Let me love you the way you deserve. Let me kiss every delicate part of your body and wash away any memories of the carelessness I took."

Fire Dove sniffed and pulled away from White Wolf's grasp. "I wanted to forget how it was with Kevin, I wanted it to be different with you."

"It will be, I promise you that I will never use you again." He leaned forward and gently brushed a stray hair away from her eyes. He loved this woman so much and never wanted to cause her one moment of unhappiness. However, the first chance he gets he uses her for his own pleasure. White Wolf slowly leaned forward and whispered softly against her face. "Words cannot express the feelings in my heart." He heard her take a deep intake of breath and he smiled. He slowly pulled her close and placed soft, slow kisses on her face and lips. He let his fingertips trail down her back and carefully pulled her body against him. "There's something in your eyes that makes me what to lose myself to you. Let me love you as you should be loved." He carefully leaned Fire Dove back and they lay on the soft furs of their bed.

Fire Dove's mind was becoming fuzzy from the gentle touches and passionate kisses from her husband. She couldn't even remember how her dress was pulled off, but didn't really care. White Wolf kept his word and placed soft, warm kisses on every inch of her body. He had kissed her face and neck as he caressed her breasts in a gentle touch. His kisses trailed down her chest to her arms and fingertips. Just when he reached the dark curls that hid her most intimate part she sat up in fright. "White Wolf, I believe that you love me and will be more loving, but please do not do anymore. I am afraid I cannot take another kiss from you before I scream."

White Wolf smiled and groaned as they kissed and their tongues entwined in a passionate embrace. He could take her now and fulfill both their desires for each other. Yet he had promised her something and would not go back on it. He pulled away and gently laid her back. He started at her navel and trailed kisses down to the warm heat between her legs. She squirmed and White Wolf grinned as Fire Dove pulled at his hair in an attempt for him to stop. He carefully pushed her legs apart and gently traced circles in the moist, warm skin between her legs. His body was responding to her moans as he deepened his kiss and plunged his tongue inside her.

Fire Dove was amazed at the throbbing heat that she felt between her legs. Never in her life had she felt anything so wonderful and sensuous. She moaned as she arched her back and warm pulses shot through her body and made her head numb. Her eyes closed, as all her energy seemed to drain from her. Fire Dove tried to move, but her arms and legs felt so heavy.

White Wolf pulled back and saw the dazed look on his wife's face. "I know you are tired my love, but I am nowhere close to being finished with you." He leaned back down and began to kiss her inner thigh, dragging his lips across her warm skin. His hands gently caressed her thighs, calves and feet as he watched his wife respond to his touches. In no time at all she was moaning and begging for him to take her.

White Wolf leaned over his wife and a warmth filed his chest. A glow seemed to glisten from her skin as she traced circles on his bare chest. "You will always be mine. Forever, body and soul." He leaned down and closed his eyes as their lips met and they kissed for several minutes. He slowly leaned his hand back and touched her wetness that would welcome him. He positioned himself at her entrance and in a slow and deliberate motion he began to glide into his wife's warm body. He moaned in pleasure as he felt her body tighten around him in a welcoming embrace. His thrusts were slow as he made sure she felt every inch of him inside her.

Fire Dove was dazed with pleasure. White Wolf had made a promise and delivered with undeniable precision. She had never felt so loved in all her life. Their lovemaking continued for what seemed like hours as they kissed, caressed and intertwined their bodies into one. Fire Dove was not sure how much more she could take of White Wolf's slow lovemaking. Her body was yearning for the release he had given her before and wanted it again. She raised her legs up against White Wolf's chest and groaned as his thrusts deepened.

White Wolf had taken his wife on a journey of lovemaking and could feel she was tiring. He smiled at her effort to take control but, wanted to make sure she knew he was the teacher today. He pulled her legs to one side and in one quick movement had her on her stomach. He leaned back as he pulled her body towards him and entered her from behind. He sighed in ecstasy as he felt the tightness of her body surround him.

Fire Dove gasped in shock at the quick turn of events in their lovemaking. She turned back and looked at White Wolf in surprise as he pulled her back towards him on her hands and knees. Nothing could prepare her for what she was experiencing when White Wolf entered her. Her body jolted with shock and she groaned in pure rapture as his thrusts quickened. Her body tingled all over and her breathing quickened as she tried to keep pace with White Wolf's thrusts. Soon she lost all control and she screamed out as spasms rocked her body and she felt a throbbing pulsate through her and she tightened around him.

White Wolf felt Fire Dove begin to climax as her body tightened in spasms. He quickened his pace in hopes they would reach their peak together. When Fire Dove cried out he felt his heated life pour inside her and he slowly lowered himself to lie next to her. He placed a kiss on her head and gently brushed her damp hair away from her face.

"I love you." Fire Dove could barely whisper her admission, for the lack of energy that she had.

"I promise you every time we make love it will be like this." White Wolf laid his arm across Fire Dove's bare back and closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep with his new wife.

Chapter 22

Early November 1802

Fire Dove sat up on her sleeping mat and looked down at White Wolf. A peaceful look crossed his face and the corner of his lips curled into a partial smile. She gently brushed a few stray hairs away from his face and watched him for a few moments as he slept. An excitement in her grew at the secret she held. She turned her gaze from White Wolf to her still flat abdomen. She placed her hand there and her fingers spread over her womb and she made a silent prayer for the new life she carried. A life that she and White Wolf had created. How would she tell him? She thought she should wait a few more weeks, just to be sure. In the beginning of pregnancy, things were always difficult. The risk of losing a child was high and she didn't want to tell him she was with child if only to lose it. She sighed and climbed from her sleeping mat, grabbed the water bags and headed to the river.

Fire Dove realized the sun was not yet past the mountain peaks and was worried the river water would be too cold to bathe in. The village was still very quiet and she began to see things in a different light. Colors were more vibrant and the feel of her clothes against her skin had a new feel to them. It was still unseasonably warm for this time of year and she traveled to the river wearing only a thin, doeskin dress. She continued on her walk and hummed to herself as she reached the water and bent to fill her bags. The water was warm and she debated if she had enough time to bathe before Acorn would awake. She walked further downstream and quickly shed her clothes. The water was still warm and she welcomed the comfort it gave her. She sighed when she sat on the bottom of the riverbed and leaned back to submerge her head. She reemerged and carefully unbraided her hair as she looked across the river to the opposite bank. A fat raccoon ambled past in search of his bed and a few birds fluttered past and then returned to bathe in the shallow water at the rivers edge.

She sank lower into the water and when the water reached her shoulders she watched as her long auburn hair float on the surface and surrounded her. She crossed her arms when her fingers brushed against the tender spot on her upper left arm, she was reminded of a darkness that was placed on her. A strange eeriness surrounded her and a panic filled her. She was sitting in the exact place where her family had found her bloodied and half frozen body. Fire Dove quickly stood and climbed out of the water and up the riverbank. She fumbled with her clothes and fought with them as she pulled them over her still wet body. She grabbed her water bags and walked quickly away from the river and toward the safety of the village. The uneasiness began to lessen with each step that she distanced herself from the river. When she reached her dwelling and stepped inside she sighed in relief, and a comfort of safety filled her. She hung the water bags on the center pole and tended the fire as she waited for her racing heart to slow down.

"You are awake early, is everything okay?"

Fire Dove raised her head and turned toward White Wolf. She watched as he raised his head from the covers of their sleeping mat and begin to stretch his muscles. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and a soft smile crossed her face. "I did not mean to wake you. I just went to the river to bathe and fill the water bags." Her stomach was still uneasy and she turned from White Wolf to hide her discomfort from her husband.

White Wolf climbed from the bedding and came to sit next to Fire Dove as she tended the fire. His hand reached out for her and she flinched when his warm hand rested on her arm.

"I am sorry, I do not know what is wrong with me. I am suddenly very skittish."

White Wolf reached for her hands and pulled them into his strong, warm ones. He placed a kiss on them and then took his one hand and placed it warm and comforting across her abdomen. "I think I know what has changed about you."

She raised her head in surprise. His dark eyes were bright and mischievous and he leaned forward, resting his forehead against hers. She closed her eyes to absorb his warmth and love. She whispered softly to him. "How did you know? I just found out myself." She placed her hand over his and they sat in silence as the newness of change in their relationship sank in.

"You have not gone to the moon lodge in two moons, and I can feel the fullness in your breasts already." He nuzzled against her neck and a warmth began to fill her.

"I love you White Wolf, I am so happy to be carrying your child." He took her face into his hands and leaned forward to brush his lips softly with hers. The kiss was gentle and showed a promise of tenderness she knew he possessed for only her.

"I feel I could take on anything when you are by my side. To know my seed grows beneath your heart gives me comfort that a part of me will continue on. That there is proof that we existed."

She closed her eyes and absorbed his warmth and his scent. His touch against her skin filled her with a need, a feeling of unfulfilled wanting that could only be satisfied by White Wolf. "I have given you all of me. Without you I am not whole, but a shadow of myself. Love me White Wolf. Fill me with yourself, so I may be whole again."

White Wolf used his thumb to brush the tears that were now falling from her eyes. He stared at her like he was seeing her for the first time. He placed a soft kiss on her forehead, then her eyes and gently brushed his lips against hers as he inhaled her warm air. "My life is yours, my Fire Dove. From the first moment, when you took my hand, my heart was yours." He deepened their kiss and his heart beat quickened he felt her wrap her arms tightly around his neck. He lifted her into his arms and carried her back to their bedding. There he began to worship her with his love and touches, so that she may never doubt his love for her.

Fire Dove was walking with Morning Sun and Smiling Woman as they walked through the newly sprouting prairie grass after an exceptionally harsh, but short winter. The smell of wet earth filled the air and the three women chatted as they walked toward the water's edge where new pliable reeds were growing. Fire Dove rested her hand over the small swell of her stomach as the three women chatted, laughed and talked of the upcoming move from their winter camp to their summer camp. They pulled at reeds and laid them in their baskets. Each woman was particular to a certain size and feel of a reed, which in turn made each of their woven items unique. Fire Dove listened to the familiar sounds that surrounded her and began humming to herself. It was strange to not have the weight of Acorn on her back, but White Wolf told her that he was old enough to start learning the ways of a man. He told her he would take him fishing and talk to him about the importance of being patient and quiet while hunting. Fire Dove smiled at the thought of Acorn sitting with White Wolf as he tried to keep him still. Everything interested Acorn and was constantly asking 'why' for everything and wasn't sure how long her husband's patience would hold out. She continued with her work and pulled reeds from the mucky earth and felt their thickness and pliability. She dropped the reeds in her hand when she felt a stinging pain shoot up her arm. She stood quickly, brushing dirt, and reeds from her dress. She turned her hands over looking to see if she got cut or stung by something. She spun around searching the ground for anything that didn't look like it belonged. Her quick movements placed her too close to the mushy water's edge and she felt the ground begin to give way. She screamed as she jumped away from the bank and landed a few feet away on her hands and knees.

"Fire Dove are you alright?" Morning Sun and Smiling Woman were quickly at her side pulling her arms to help her stand.

Fire Dove was shaky but steadied herself with the help of her friends. "I felt something sting me and I moved around too much, too close to the bank and the ground began to erode under my feet." She was bending over brushing the dirt and grass from her knees and looked up at Smiling Woman to thank her.

"Fire Dove, what is wrong with your face?" Fear was evident in Smiling Woman's voice and she took a step away from Fire Dove.

She quickly brought her hand to face and felt nothing unusual on it. She figured she might have gotten dirt on it from her fall, but it would not make Smiling Woman to act the way she was. "What do you mean, sister? What do you see?"

"The same thing that is on your arm!" Smiling Woman was pointing to Fire Doves hand and she stepped back again and quickly grabbed Morning Sun's hand.

Fire Dove looked down at her left arm. It was a dusky grey color and her veins were black beneath her skin. She looked at her other arm and the same thing was beginning to show. What was happening to her? With every beat of her heart the veins became darker and darker. She felt weighted down and very cold, then suddenly her knees gave way and she collapsed to the ground. Her last image before the darkness overcame her was watching her sister and friend running from her.

"Where is she? Where is my wife?"

Fire Dove slowly turned her head to her husband's voice. She fought against the heaviness of her eyelids and a blurry image began to come into focus. "White Wolf." Her voice sounded foreign to her and she attempted to clear her throat, but lacked the strength. She felt herself being lifted from the ground and she rested her heavy head against her husband's strong, warm chest. She felt her body shivering and she fought to keep her teeth from chattering. She heard different voices around her, but could not distinguish who they belonged to. She felt safe and protected in White Wolf's arms and drifted into the darkness again.

Fire Dove felt a warmth surround her and the thumping she heard she finally realized it was a drum. Her shaking had stopped and she slowly began to open her eyes. Relief filled her when she set her eyes upon her husband's face. His head was lowered and she could see that his eyes were closed and his lips moved silently. She knew that he would be praying and she lifted her arm to touch him and let him know his prayers had been answered. When her hand touched his warm skin, she felt him flinch, but he did not pull away. He lifted his head and she smiled when his dark brown eyes locked with hers. She heard his sharp intake of breath and she gently squeezed his arm. "White Wolf, what is it?"

"Your eyes. They are black! You have no whites to them. Can you see?"

"Yes, I can see fine. Do you know what is happening? I am scared White Wolf."

He took a finger and traced the pattern of her black veins beneath the skin in her neck. "You look dead, my love."

"I am not dead. Although I feel like I am. Does anyone know what is happening?" She looked away from White Wolf and looked around the dwelling to realize she was in the Medicine Man's dwelling. Shadow Dreamer was a very intelligent man, surly he would know what was happening. White Wolf leaned over her and rested his forehead against hers. She could feel his concern for her with every touch of his hand. His voice was a soft warm whisper against the side of her face as he cupped her chin with his hands.

"Are you okay? Is the child okay?"

Fire Dove nodded slowly, she clenched her hands around his wrists. "Yes, I am fine. We both are safe."

"I am afraid you are not as safe as you believe." Shadow Dream's voice penetrated their quiet sanctuary as he walked in from the outside.

Fire Dove turned toward the voice and White Wolf pulled away and looked at Shadow Dreamer. "What do you mean we are not safe?" Fire Dove was regaining her strength slowly and was happy she had enough to sit up on her own. She watched White Wolf stand and he walked up to the other man. She could see the tension in his shoulders and it pained her to see him so worried.

Shadow Dreamer's eyes were downcast and he shook his head. "I am so sorry, White Wolf." He then extended his hand and pointed at Fire Dove.

A cold chill filled her insides as she saw him point to her. What was going on, why was he sorry and why was he pointing at her? She looked at White Wolf and the look on his face was a mix of painful emotions. A single tear rolled down his face and then a rush of heat and pain erupted in her stomach. Her arms instinctively encircled her swollen abdomen and she screamed when she saw the dark red wetness that was forming between her thighs. "Oh God no! Please not my baby!" The burning pain in her stomach intensified and she curled in a ball, wrapping her arms protectively around her middle. She then was engulfed in darkness.

White Wolf watched in horror as his wife screamed and curled into a tight ball. Dark blood flowed in a rush from between her legs and she began to shake so violently both he and Shadow Dreamer had to hold her down. His thoughts were filled with fear and anger. He was helpless to his wife and child and he had never felt this in all of his twenty-six summers. As suddenly as it started, it had stopped. Fire Dove stayed silent and he waited for a moment before her breathing slowed and her eyes slowly began to open. She said nothing, just stared at the ceiling. He was kneeling beside her and his gut clenched when between Fire Dove's bare, bloodied thighs he saw the tiny lifeless body of his son that was expelled from her body, before it's time. The cord that still connected them was dark and black and he watched as the color began to return to Fire Dove's face and the black colored veins retreated. Tears rolled down his face and grasped his wife's hand tightly in his. "My love, speak to me."

Fire Dove felt the cold, darkness begin to evaporate from her body and she felt the warm, strong hand of White Wolf on hers. She slowly focused her eyes and she finally focused on White Wolf's face. His eyes were red-rimmed and his face was blotchy. She reached for him with her other hand. "My heart. What pains you so?" She followed his gaze and a pain pulsated through her like hot coals. "No, no, no! Oh God, no!" She clung to White Wolf, burying her face in his arms as she screamed. Her child, their child lay dead between her bare thighs. The life they had created had been ripped from them.

"Hush my love, there was nothing we could do to stop it. One moment he was safe inside you, the next he was lifeless on the ground."

Fire Dove dug her fingers into White Wolfs arms and fought with every ounce of strength inside of her to not scream. She slowly pulled away from him. "He? We had a son?" Her voice cracked and she sounded so foreign, even to herself.

White Wolf paused for a moment and looked at his wife's pain-stricken face. "Yes, we had a son." He leaned over and carefully picked up the tiny child that fit entirely in his one hand. His skin was dark and almost purple. He marveled at how small he was. His tiny fingers, toes and even eyelashes.

"Oh White Wolf, he is beautiful. Why was he taken before his time? He was growing so strong and I could feel him begin to kick."

"It was the curse." Shadow Dreamer's voice from the shadows and Fire Dove turned toward his voice and he stepped forward. "The black blood that filled your veins filled that of your child until it poisoned him causing him to be expelled from your body."

Fire Dove felt a heaviness in her chest and she turned from her son to Shadow Dreamer. She was scared to hear the answer of her next question. "Will this continue to happen? Will I lose every child that I carry?" There was a silence and she stared at Shadow Dreamer waiting for his response. Hoping and praying he would not give her the answer she dreaded.

"Yes, I believe this will continue to happen."

Fire Dove felt bile burn the back of her throat. She would lose any child she carried? How could this be happening? To never be able to have a child with White Wolf? She was pulled from her thoughts and saw her husband's beautiful face.

"My love, perhaps this is for the best."

Was he mad? How could never having a child together be for the best? "I want to give you children White Wolf. I want to fill our dwelling with children for you." She stared at him and she felt the strong hold of his hand on her arm.

"You almost died giving birth to Acorn, and this last child almost did the same to you. I could not continue living if I lost you, just so we could have children."

"But I would not mind the pain. I would do that for you, White Wolf." She pulled his hand to her face and placed a kiss in his palm. "I wanted to give you a son."

He pulled her hands into his and placed kisses on her knuckles and held them against his chest. "My heart, you have already given me a son."

Tears rolled from her eyes and the pain in her chest lessened as White Wolf pulled her into his arms for a warm embrace.

Fire Dove stood silently next to her husband and mother. Shadow Dreamer was chanting over the tiny wrapped bundle that held her and White Wolfs son. She reached for the small sack that hung around her neck and squeezed it. Inside it contained a lock of her son's hair and a section of his umbilical cord. It would be all she would ever have of her son. White Wolf and she discussed burial spots, but they finally both decided they would bury him by the large oak tree where White Wolf's first wife and son were buried. That way he would never be alone. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath through her nose. She was numb with grief and couldn't focus on the words the Medicine man was speaking. She knew that shutting her eyes to what she didn't want to see wouldn't stop her heart from feeling what she could no longer see. She felt a nudge to her arm and she opened her eyes and looked down at the tear-streaked face of her mother.

Cunksi, my daughter, my heart pains for you and White Wolf. We will pray to the Great Spirit to lift this evil that has been placed upon you." She leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

Fire Dove nodded her head and was ushered away and into her dwelling. She sat obediently on her mat and took the bowl of stew that was placed in her hand. She had no knowledge of time and she sat as she was instructed. She was now faced with a lifetime of wonder. The life of her son, she would never know. A warm hand rested on her forearm and she blinked a few times before turning her head.

"Come my love. Please let me comfort you." White Wolf took her hands and walked her to their sleeping mat. There he knelt before her and brought her hands to his lips. He held them there for a few moments and then leaned his head against her flat stomach and wrapped his arms around her and squeezed.

Fire Dove said nothing, but watched her husband in silence and soon his shoulders began to shake. It didn't take her long to realize her husband was crying and she pulled his chin up to look at her. Her knees gave way and she was kneeling in front of him. "What is wrong White Wolf? Why are you crying?" She gently caressed his damp face and waited until he locked eyes with her.

"You have not eaten or spoken a word since we buried our son. I have watched you day after day slip away from me and I felt helpless to stop it. I felt that with each passing day I was losing a bit more of you that I could never get back. And now you ask me why I am crying?"

Fire Dove cleared her throat and pinched the ridge of her nose. "Days you say? How many?"

"It has been five days. You have not eaten, slept or talked. I was hoping with Acorn being here, he would pull you from the sadness that has engulfed you. You would not even look at him."

"I did not know. I am just afraid that no matter where I turn nothing will be right, and when I try to do something, I find I have nothing left inside of me."

He held her tightly and spoke softly to her, her words muffled in her thick hair. "I know your heart is broken. Mine is too. But a broken heart is what changes people and puts them on a path they never expected."

"I am so sorry. I was so caught up in my grief, I had forgotten that you were just as lost as I was. Please forgive me."

White Wolf encased her in his arms and she felt it. A warmth filled her stomach and generated through her and down her arms and legs. A beating in her chest caused her to take a sharp intake of breath and White Wolf half smiled at her. "Do not fear the dead my love. For they are everywhere we cannot be. Fear not living, for they are forever wondering and hoping of what might be."

Fire Dove smiled at the rhythmic beating in her chest. It was not what she had expected it to feel like, the mending of her heart. It wasn't completely healed, it might never be, but it was a start.

Chapter 23

Late May 1805

Fire Dove awoke to the soft nudging at her shoulder. She opened her eyes and saw Acorn. "What is it Cinksi, son? Did you have another bad dream?"

"Momma, pale men are throwing stones at Grandfather and Grandmother is crying."

Fire Dove sat up and pulled her four-year-old son onto her lap. Acorn had recently begun to have nightmares and she was woken several times during the night. She hugged her son and held him close as she threaded her fingers through his shoulder length hair. Fire Dove felt White Wolf stir and soon he too was awake and was trying to comfort Acorn.

"Maybe we should have him talk to Shadow Dreamer. It seems that all his dreams are about death." White Wolf spoke to Fire Dove as she slowly rocked Acorn in her arms. His eyes began to grow heavy again and she lowered her son down between her and White Wolf.

"Do you think he can do something? It seems like the only way he will talk about his dreams is right when they happen. I am not sure he will openly discuss any of them to the Medicine Man."

"All we can do is try Fire Dove. It pains my heart to see him going through this. If he is to be our only child I want to make sure there is no threat against his future happiness." White Wolf leaned over and placed a kiss on Fire Dove's forehead and gently lay down next to her. "I will have Acorn visit with Shadow Dreamer in the morning. Now let us sleep."

The next morning Fire Dove awoke with the sun. She readied the dwelling for breakfast and did her morning chores before White Wolf and Acorn ever woke up. When they began to stir Fire Dove was just serving their breakfast. "Wake up sleepy head's breakfast is ready." Fire Dove watched her husband and son slowly stretch and rub the sleep from their eyes. White Wolf stood and gave Fire Dove a quick kiss before stepping outside to greet Mother Earth with his morning prayer. Shortly after White Wolf left, Acorn got up and sat down with his mother. "How are you feeling Acorn?"

"I am ready to talk about my dreams. Do you think the Medicine Man will help?"

He looked up to Fire Dove and her heart pained at the sadness in his eyes. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close. Fire Dove rested her chin on top of Acorn's head and inhaled his scent. "I hope he can help, my heart. There has to be an answer to what is going on with your dreams." Fire Dove turned her head when she heard White Wolf come in.

"Let us eat!" He sat down and the family ate their meal in silence.

It wasn't until dark that Shadow Dreamer arrived at Fire Dove and White Wolf's dwelling. He came in, ate dinner and then left with Acorn without saying a word. White Wolf was enjoying being alone with his wife. They talked while she sewed and he worked on new quills for Acorn's arrows. White Wolf set his work down and watched his wife working on a hole in a pair of Acorns moccasins. He crossed his arms across his chest and stared at his beautiful wife. "Do you think we can put our stuff away and go for a walk?"

"White Wolf it is dark outside. Where can we walk in the dark?"

White Wolf chuckled. "There is a full moon and it would be quiet at the river."

Fire Dove agreed that a short walk in the cool night's air would be nice. They stood and left their dwelling carrying the blanket Fallen Star had made for them for a wedding gift. "It is so quiet out. Usually you can hear more creatures welcoming the night."

"It is still a little early for many. Let us sit over here so we can look at the stars." White Wolf walked over to a grassy area and laid the blanket out. He helped Fire Dove sit and they lay back on the blanket and looked up at the stars. White Wolf soon leaned over Fire Dove and began to kiss her passionately. His fingers threaded through her hair and he groaned when she whispered his name.

Fire Dove had wanted to be alone with White Wolf for so long she was unsure if she would ever get to taste his kisses again. They were both very discreet around Acorn and only were able to make love when he was staying with his grandparents or friends. They were in a frenzy of touching and kissing that Fire Dove lost all sense of where she was and gasped out his name. "Oh White Wolf!"

His lips traveled down her neck to her opened dress front, as White Wolf's hands worked to get the rest of her dress untied. He plunged his tongue into Fire Dove's warm mouth and tasted the sweetness of her lips. He allowed his hands to travel down her hips and pulled her dress the rest of the way off. White Wolf was swollen and burning to join his body with his wife's. He pulled back and quickly untied his breach cloth as he watched his wife part her legs welcoming him to her. White Wolf wasted no time and climbed on top of his wife. He groaned when Fire Dove wrapped her legs around his waist eager for his invasion. He lowered his hand to the dark curls that hid her most intimate part. Fire Dove began to moan a wondrous sound as he touched the wetness that would welcome him.

Fire Dove was wild with the need for White Wolf to enter her. "I want you now my heart." She sighed when she felt him slide into her warm heat. She threw back her head and moaned as White Wolf moved rhythmically inside her. She felt him kiss her breasts and neck. When she opened her eyes White Wolf was pulling her hips up to him as he rested back on his heels. His thrusts were deep and made Fire Dove jerk at the intense feeling.

White Wolf stared at his wife's ivory breasts in the moonlight. He yearned to taste the rosy tips and leaned forward to kiss her body again. His wife moaned in pleasure as he felt her body start to quiver. He quickened his thrusts and groaned when Fire Dove's body tightened around him in shudders and he released his hot fluid deep inside her.

Fire Dove smiled as she felt White Wolf's life pour inside her. She made a silent prayer that his seed would take hold and a life would begin. Although they had lost three children because of the curse, she was always hopeful that maybe this time the child would be spared. White Wolf leaned over to kiss her before he collapsed on the ground next to her. Fire Dove turned to White Wolf and they exchanged small kisses between labored breaths. "Maybe we should bathe and return home. I don't want Acorn to come home and us not be there for him."

"That is fine. Just give me a minute to clear my head. You have out done yourself my love." They lay on the soft grass for awhile before finally getting up and bathing in the river. They dried each other off and headed back to their dwelling where shortly after they arrived, Acorn came home. He said nothing to his parents as he climbed into bed and was soon fast asleep. Fire Dove kissed her sleeping son and climbed into her sleeping mat next to her husband and fell into a deep slumber.

The next morning Fire Dove awoke to White Wolf's warm hand caressing her breast. She smiled and pulled the buffalo robe up over her shoulder. "You have a wonderful way of waking me up."

White Wolf mumbled something and pulled his wife closer to him and began to kiss the back of her neck. He loved the mornings, the warmth of his wife close to him and the sound of Acorn sleeping soundly. "Did you enjoy yourself last night?" He paused for a moment when he felt her tense a little. "Do not worry, we were not seen. We might have been heard, but not seen." White Wolf leaned up on his elbow to see his wife's face become a bright shade of pink. He smiled and kissed her as he ran his hands down the side of her naked body. He raised his head and looked over to his still sleeping son. "Acorn is still sleeping. How can I convince you he will sleep long enough for me to make love to you once again?" White Wolf trailed kisses down his wife's neck and began to creep under the covers to hide himself.

"White Wolf, please don't. He is already waking up." Fire Dove pulled at her husband's arms until he crawled back up to her and laid his head next to hers. They exchanged heated kisses as they entwined their hands in each other's hair. A small voice interrupted them and they pulled apart and looked at Acorn.

"Good morning Acorn, did you sleep well?" Fire Dove smiled at her son as she brushed his hair away from his eyes. He nodded his head and smiled at his parents.

"Papa, buffalo are close. If you go today you will be able to come home soon."

White Wolf looked at his son and then at his wife. "What are you talking about Acorn? Buffalo haven't been spotted this far north yet. We are going hunting in the end of summer, remember."

"No, you have to go now. Everyone will be dead at summer's end. The village needs the food now." Acorn was very persistent and continued to tell his father he needed to leave on the hunting trip.

White Wolf nodded his head to his wife and then told Acorn to go bath at the river. "I think I will talk to the elders about this. Maybe we should leave on this hunting trip sooner then expected. It would do no harm, except maybe take us longer to hunt. There are a lot of new calves in the herds and the bulls are very aggressive right now. If we go this early the younger boys should stay home. I do not want to risk anyone's lives unnecessarily."

"Let me take Acorn to Shadow Dreamer and see if we can make sense out of what he is saying." Fire Dove stood and pulled on a dress as White Wolf dressed and went to gather the village elders and hunting party chiefs.

The morning slipped into the day and then into the evening. White Wolf walked slowly to his dwelling where he knew his wife would be cooking their evening meal.

"When do you and the hunting party leave?" Fire Dove watched White Wolf slump down by the fire pit after a long afternoon with the village elders.

"We will leave tomorrow at sunrise. A sentry from Strong Bear's camp arrived earlier today. He said buffalo were spotted not far from them. I am afraid that this will be a long trip. One I was not looking forward to so early in the season."

Fire Dove looked away from the food she was cooking and gave a concerned look to her husband. "How long do you think you and the other's will be gone?" Fire Dove had been alone before while White Wolf had gone on hunting trips, but it was never more then a few weeks or a month at the most.

"I am not sure, a moon, maybe more. Do not worry, the time will go by quickly. You have your friends and family to keep you company." White Wolf saw Acorn begin to rub his eyes and knew his son would be going to sleep soon. He would wait until then to talk to Fire Dove about the trip. White Wolf sat and ate in silence as Fire Dove got Acorn off to bed. When she returned to sit next to him, he pulled her into his embrace and placed soft kisses on the back of her neck. "I honestly do not want to leave. There is something about this trip that just does not sit well with me. What did Shadow Dreamer say about Acorn's dreams?"

Fire Dove settled against White Wolf's chest and pulled his arms around her in an embrace. "He told me that his dreams are event's that are coming, but he gets them mixed up in his mind. So somethings he is telling us will not happen for a long time and others might be things that just recently happened. He said as he gets older he will be able to control his thoughts better and distinguish which dreams are visions and which ones are only dreams."

White Wolf closed his eyes and slowly swayed back and forth with his arms around his wife. "I want to stay right here for a while. I do not care if I fall asleep, as long as you are next to me." When he heard his wife humming he began to drift off and soon he was fast asleep.

The following morning White Wolf woke before the sun and began to ready himself for his trip. Fire Dove prepared food for his long trip and when they were all finished they went to the river to watch the sunrise and share their bodies in a sweet farewell.

Chapter 24

Fire Dove stood next to her mother and sister and waved good-bye to all the men leaving for the buffalo hunt. The large number of men on this trip would ensure the entire village would have enough food to last the long winter. Only young boys, elderly men and about twelve warriors were left. Fire Dove shivered at the sudden quietness that fell upon the village. She waved one last time to the disappearing figure of her husband and turned away to continue her daily chores. She would visit with her mother while her father took Acorn out to practice shooting with his bow and arrows. "How did you keep yourself from missing father when he would go on long hunting trips?"

Fallen Star looked up from her sewing and smiled at her daughter as she worked on a piece of hide. Her waist length braids swayed as she worked. "It was hard the first time, but I thought of how proud I would be when he would return home with all those buffalo. I usually spent this time to prepare for all the work I would have when he returned. Do not worry, the time will slip by quickly and he will be in your arms again."

"What did you do on the lonely nights?"

Fallen Star laughed and shook her head. "That time still goes by slowly my love, there is nothing that can make it go by quickly."

Two moons went by and Fire Dove began to adjust to having only Acorn for company. She had never been apart from White Wolf for so long. It seemed that every year the men had to travel further and further to find buffalo. Which meant they were gone longer and longer each trip. Fire Dove kept herself busy by spending most of her time with her sister and Morning Sun. They spent the quiet days laughing and working. Fire Dove would listen to Morning Sun as she told her stories of the buffalo hunt. She never realized how dangerous it could be. White Wolf always made his hunting trips seem so uneventful. Now she understood why, he did not want her to worry. She quietly said a prayer to watch over White Wolf and hoped the scouts would return soon with word on the hunting party.

"Your son should make you very proud Fire Dove. He learns so quickly for his age. He even plays with the older boys, and can keep up when they run." Morning Sun smiled as she watched Acorn race by with some of the older boys in the village.

"He would make me proud no matter what he could or could not do. He is quick to learn as I was at his age. Oddly, he reminds me so much of White Wolf. If his eyes were not green like his father's, it would make it harder for him to believe."

Morning Sun looked at her friend strangely. "What do you mean? Hard for him to believe?"

Fire Dove smiled and leaned over to her friend that was braiding her eldest daughter's hair. She nudged her friends arm and smiled. "I have to tell Acorn who his birth father is. He has a right to know where he came from."

Morning Sun patted her daughter's back and spoke softly to her. Her daughter got up dusted herself off and ran toward a group of children. Morning Sun turned back to her friend. "It is not necessary to tell him anything. He is Lakota and was raised that way. He has only known White Wolf as his father. He is a proud young boy, why tell him something that will not change his mind as to who he is."

Fire Dove looked at her friend strangely, not tell her son who his father was? How could she lie to him about who he really was? She paused a moment and thought about who she felt she was now. "If my son asks who his father is, I will tell him the truth."

Morning Sun's smile showed even, white teeth. "My dear, why would he even ask? He has no doubt who his father is." She stood and gathered her things into her arms. "I have to get Morning Dew from my mother before our evening meal. I will talk with you later."

Fire Dove watched her friend call her children and head toward their dwelling. She thought about what Morning Sun had said and what her mother had told her many times. Unless he asks, do not tell him. She smiled and stared off into the distance where mountains loomed and trees blended into a green tapestry. The warm weather was such a blessing. She loved to sit under a large tree and stare at the clouds. It wasn't often that she was able to be idle with her time. Her days were filled with necessary chores and any neglect on her part would fall on someone else's shoulders. She did not want to be a burden to anyone and quickly stood to return to her duties.

That evening while she was in a deep sleep a strange noise began to pierce her dreams. Slowly she awoke and opened her eyes to the dark dwelling. Her mind began to clear from slumber and her heart began to race in fear. The noise that seemed so strange to her in her sleep was quite clear now. She sat up in horror, a bugle! "Acorn, Acorn wake up!" She quickly dressed and pulled her sleepy son from his mat and quickly looked for a weapon. She reached for White Wolf's hunting knife and ran outside. The village was awake with chaos. People were running around grabbing children and few belongings and running for the horses. Fire Dove stood in horror. Why was this happening? She could hear the soldiers coming, but didn't see any. She quickly ran to her parents dwelling, hoping they were all right. Fire Dove knew Acorn was frightened, but he remained quiet and clung tightly to her. Fire Dove reached her parents' dwelling and went inside. "Mother, father, Smiling Woman, soldiers are coming."

Three Stones was grabbing his bow and arrows as he spoke. "You need to take your mother and run for the river. The soldiers will be here soon, go!"

Fire Dove grabbed her mother's hand, but stopped. "Where is Smiling Woman?"

Her father shouted back at her as he quickly painted his face for war. "She went to Morning Sun's dwelling to help her with her children. She will be fine, now go!"

Fire Dove nodded as she ran out of the dwelling with her mother. The sun was just barely peaking over the horizon and offered only a little light for people to see by. Fire Dove slowed when her mother stopped running and tried to let go of her hand. "Mother, we need to go. We will be safe at the river, please hurry."

"He is going to die as a warrior. I did not get to say good-bye." Her eyes filled with tears as she watched her husband of over forty summer's run with the other men to fight.

"He will be fine. They will take care of us, but we need to get away from here." Fire Dove and her mother ran with the mass of other women, children and elderly people toward the river. Screams began to fill the air as gunfire and cannons' began their assault. Fire Dove held Acorn tightly in her arms as she ran. Soon people were running everywhere as the soldiers began to surround them. She saw her sister and friend, running toward them. Relief washed over her when Fire Dove saw all of them were okay. "Morning Sun, Smiling Woman, I am so glad everyone is here. Where are the soldiers coming from?"

Smiling Woman was carrying two of Morning Sun's children and was breathing heavy as she spoke. "They have surrounded us. We cannot run anywhere. We have no weapons and the men are all gone." She stared at Fire Dove. "What if they are here for you?"

Fire Dove was holding Buffalo Tooth's hand as she looked at her friend. "Why do you think they are coming for me?" Her question wasn't answered as more gunfire erupted and the women scattered in fright. A cannon exploded nearby, causing Fire Dove to fall. Acorn fell from her arms and she screamed as she saw the horses of the soldiers coming toward them. She franticly grabbed Acorn's hand and began to run. She turned back to see two soldiers on horses coming toward her. She lost her footing and fell over something causing her to let go of Acorn's hand. She leaned up and saw she had tripped over a body. She screamed in fright and scooted back away from the bloody corpse. She quickly looked around for her son. "Acorn? Acorn, answer me." She turned around and saw her son sitting on the ground crying. She stood and ran towards him but was stopped right before she could reach him. A soldier jumped off his horse and grabbed her arm.

"Goin' somewhere girly?" He laughed and pulled her close to him and pinned her arms behind her back.

Fire Dove screamed for her son and began to kick the man that held her captive. She had to get to Acorn and protect him. She watched as an older soldier came towards them. The loud blasts of gunfire and cannons were almost deafening and she strained to hear what he was saying. The man pulled her up onto his horse and rode up to the older man that was now holding Acorn. Her son sat quietly with his eyes large in wonder. He had never seen a white man before, and he was amazed by the differences.

The two soldiers rode out of the village and toward a group of people from Fire Dove's village. It slowly quieted down enough for the men to speak clearly to one another. The older soldier looked very angry and spoke very sternly to the other soldier. "Private, I told you that there were to be no causalities. You disobed my direct order?"

"Sir, the old man was comin at me with a huntin' knife. I shot him in the leg to stop him."

The older soldier was clearly upset. His thin face showed anger but his eyes were kind and Fire Dove seemed very intrigued. "Private Thompson, if you aimed at his leg, why did he get hit in the chest?"

Thompson shrugged his shoulders and smiled a little. "I guess you could call it a lucky shot."

"Private! Return to camp immediately and remain in your quarters until I come for you. Dis-missed!" He turned to Fire Dove and spoke. "Ma'am do you understand English?" He paused and saw her nod her head. "You can get down and join the others over there, and you see if you can find this boy's mother."

Fire Dove climbed down from the horse and walked with her head held proudly. She paused a moment to clear her throat. It had been over four years since she had spoken English. "The boy is my son." She held out her arms for Acorn and spoke to him in Lakota. "Acorn, you can come to me now." She smiled as she pulled her son off the horse and into her arms. He wrapped his arms around her neck and buried his face in her shoulder. The sun was slowly rising as Fire Dove walked toward the group of people from the village that was slowly growing in size.

"Fire Dove, oh thank the Great Spirit you and Acorn are all right." Smiling Woman was quickly walking toward Fire Dove as she spoke. Her face was dirty and her dress was torn at the shoulder where it was bleeding from a cut. She seemed unconcerned with her appearance as she took Acorn into her arms. She kissed him and spoke softly to him as she walked towards the others. "Did you find out why these Wasciu are here? We are peaceful and cause no problems. How savage they are attacking a village of only women and children."

Fire Dove sat and watched her sister use her dress hem to wipe Acorn's face. His face began to relax and soon he was asleep. Fire Dove thanked her sister and stood to look among the people to find her mother and friend Morning Sun. Many of the people were unhurt, mostly scared and confused. She looked for a few moments for her mother, but heard that there were other groups of people scattered around the village.

"Ma'am, you seem to be looking for someone. Is there anything I can help you with?"

Fire Dove was startled at the man's voice and took a few steps away from him. "I am sorry, I never got your name." Her words were slow as she tried to communicate in English. The soldier cleared his throat and took off his hat.

"My name is General Michael Stevens. I am in charge of this quest and am very sorry for any damage or injuries that have occurred." He lowered his eyes and cleared his throat as he fiddled with his hat. He extended his hand out in hopes she would walk with him.

"Why are you here? My people have made no war on anyone. We are just a village of women and children."

"My orders are to go to as many tribes as possible and see if there are any white captives in the village. My incompetent soldiers thought of this as a 'seek and destroy' mission. I am very sorry for the problems that have occurred." He placed his hat back onto his graying head and smiled. "How long have you been a captive here?"

Fire Dove looked at the General for a moment. His eyes were wide with curiosity as he waited for her to speak. She cleared her throat and pushed some stray hairs away from her eyes. As they walked she saw many of the people from the village staring and whispering. She knew that this might cause a buzz among the village, but she felt that talking to him might help. "You have to be patient. It's been many years since I have spoken English." She took a deep breath and began. "I am not a captive. I have never been a captive, I decided to stay here on my own free will. My name is Fire Dove, and I am married to White Wolf. I have been adopted by the Oglala people and am very happy here." She stopped walking and spoke with concern in her voice to the General. "You are not going to take me from my family are you?"

General Stevens pulled his hat off again and scratched at his head. An odd look came over his face as he spoke. "Well, how many years have you been here? I am looking for two particular people and I guess if you aren't her, my troops and I will be on our way."

Fire Dove knew this wasn't right. What soldier came into a village without taking something? "You speak strangely General. Why are you being so kind?"

"I have been in this army for many, many years. I have seen things that should have never happened. I don't want any unnecessary killings just for a grieving husband to have his wife back so he doesn't have to cook and clean anymore. There were many times I brought back captives and they were treated so badly they would try and return to the Indians, or end up killing themselves. I don't need that on my shoulders, I just want to make things as easy as possible."

Fire Dove nodded her head and lowered it as she began to speak. "I left my home town in the spring of 1800 with my husband." She paused for a moment at the memory that began to flood her mind. "We were headed west to find his father's side of the family and I was heavy with child. He was killed in an accident and I went into labor shortly afterward."

Fire Dove lowered her eyes when she mentioned her husband's death being an accident. She didn't want to give these soldiers any reason to do any more harm to the Lakota's. "I became very sick after the birth of my son that I could not travel back on my own. The Lakota's cared for me and nursed me back to health. I have been here ever since." She stopped when she heard Acorn calling her and saw him running toward her. She bent down and picked him up. "This is my son Acorn."

General Stevens looked at the woman and then at the child. "Miss, what is your Christian name?"

"Rebecca Donnelly. My husband was Kevin Donnelly." She paused for a moment and then asked the soldier. "Am I the reason you are here?" Her voice was soft and concern showed in her eyes. She didn't want to think that all this was because of her.

"Yes Ma'am, I am sorry, but your mother and father have been looking for you and your husband for a long time. Don't you miss them at all?" His face looked confused and waited for her to speak.

Fire Dove thought for a moment and wondered if she really missed her old life. She shifted Acorn on her hip and suddenly yelps and war cries echoed in the early morning as soldiers and warriors came from all directions shooting at one another. Fire Dove ran from the officer she was speaking to in an attempt to hide in the trees. Her heart beat in her ears and she was concerned for the people in the wide open when the attack started. The gunfire got quieter as she ran deeper into the woods. She slowed her pace and set Acorn down to walk with her. "Hurry Acorn, we need to find someplace safe to hide."

The fighting with the soldiers was very intense. There was a lot of hand on hand combat, which the warriors enjoyed. White Wolf and the recently arrived warriors fought with vengeful hearts, as they defended their homes and families. White Wolf raced on his horse through the fighting, searching for Fire Dove and Acorn. He passed fallen bodies of friends and family and his heart pained. He neared some trees where many women and children were running. He tied his horse and ran toward them. He spotted Smiling Woman and ran to her. "Smiling Woman, have you seen Fire Dove and Acorn?"

"I saw them before the shooting started. She was talking to a blue coat, but I have not seen her since. Have you seen my mother and father? I am very worried about them."

"No, I and the other men arrived not long ago. Swift Runner, one of the scouts came to warn us of the wasicu's attack. I hope we arrived in time." He looked around and saw more and more people running into the wooded area. "You should go. I have to go back to the fighting. If you find Fire Dove keep her by your side and hide in the cliffs. Go, now!" He turned when shooting became closer and urged his sister-in-law to run. He watched her and then ran back to his horse to return to the fighting. He raced towards the fighting with a war cry that could send chills down anyone's back. These invaders had come to destroy them and take his beloved from him. He would kill anyone that had threatened to take away his livelihood. He raced toward a soldier that was taking aim on a group of running women and children. He cried out to the pale face and raised his war club and swung. His aim was true and knocked the man off his horse before he fired at the group of people seeking shelter.

White Wolf jumped from his horse in a panther-like move and knocked the man facedown. In two quick movements he had scalped the man and slit his throat from ear to ear. White Wolf wiped the blood from his blade onto the man's back and climbed back onto his horse. He rode through the village counting coop on his enemy and collecting scalps. Soon the numbers began to dwindle and the rest of the soldiers retreated. White Wolf rode up to his cousin Kicking Elk who also had his own collection of scalp locks. "This was a good day for counting coop was it not?"

Kicking Elk smiled and patted his cousin on the shoulder. "It was a good day. Our men fought with passion and the Great Spirit has blessed us. There are some hurt, but I do not see many deaths."

White Wolf nodded his head. "Most of the causalities are from where the village was first attacked. We should break camp as soon as we can. The soldiers will return with more firepower." The two rode toward the cliffs where they knew their loved ones had run for safety. It was apparent by the time White Wolf and Kicking Elk had arrived that anyone who was still alive was here. They searched for familiar faces as many people began to head back toward the village. White Wolf watched as people filed by. He heard a voice call out to him and his heart began to race. He searched the sea of faces, looking for the fire colored hair that would separate her from the rest. In the distance he saw a hand waving. He jumped from his horse and pushed his way toward Fire Dove. She called his name again and he franticly tried to get through the sea of people that blocked his path to his beloved.

"White Wolf I am here. White Wolf!" Her voice was strained from the tears she held back. She hurried through the crowd and held tightly to her son's hand. It seemed an eternity before she reached him. Then out of the crowd his face appeared and she stopped because her knees became weak. He was there standing before her, painted for war and unhurt. "Oh my heart, you are safe." Acorn ran to him and White Wolf lifted him into the air. He allowed Acorn to hold onto him as he approached Fire Dove. "My heart, I prayed you would come back." They embraced and Fire Dove felt the warmth of his body through her dress. It made her body tingle and she leaned her head back to accept his kiss that was more passionate than she could ever remember. They stood together for a while as the crowd headed back to the village.

"Let us return home. There is much we need to do." He kissed his son on his cheek and they walked back to the village to pack their belongings for their move.

They had just reached the outskirts of the village and Fire Dove gasped. There were many dwellings completely destroyed and huge pits were all around from the cannon fire. There were bodies all over and as the two walked toward their dwelling they began to recognize a few of them. "Oh lord, White Wolf, most of them are women and children." Soon cries erupted from people as they began to find that their loved ones were dead. "I need to see if my parents are all right."

White Wolf nodded his head and took Acorn to their dwelling to begin their packing. When he finished he stepped outside and was startled to find his wife standing there. She had an empty look in her eyes and her face was streaked with tears. "What is wrong? Has something happened?"

Her voice was barely a whisper. "He's gone. They just brought his body to my mother." She looked up at White Wolf who still had a confused look on his face. Tears began to fall from her eyes again as she continued. "They killed my father. They shot him and took all his jewelry. What will happen to my mother?" She became hysterical and collapsed to the ground. "They killed my father, they killed him." She curled into a ball and allowed her sobs to rack her body.

White Wolf bent down to comfort his wife. He sat next to her and pulled her into his arms. Her tears soaked through his shirt as he allowed her to release the pain she felt inside.

"Is grandfather dead?"

White Wolf turned to see Acorn standing at the entrance of their dwelling. A sad look was on his face as he stared at his father. "Yes Acorn the soldiers shot . . .."

"They shot him in the chest and took his medicine pouch."

White Wolf looked at Acorn surprised at his son's words.

"The Medicine Man said my dreams would come true. I dreamed grandfather would die by flying stones. My grandmother is very sad. I will go to her." He stood and White Wolf watched him walk toward his grandparent's dwelling. White Wolf was shocked by his son's words, but knew he had a rare gift.

He spoke softly to his wife and urged her to get up. "We need to get packed and get out of here. I understand your pain, but it is important that we leave immediately."

Fire Dove cleared her throat and nodded to her husband. They have to get to safety before they could mourn their dead. She would have to be strong for a least a little while.

The rest of the village packed their belongings and rounded up horses. The slain were gathered up and once the village reached safety the dead would be buried. In a matter of an hour the entire village was ready for travel. Fire Dove remained quiet and thought about Three Stones. He was such a sweet and caring man. He reminded her so much of her real father in so many ways. She knew that Three Stones loved her just as much as Smiling Woman. It was so unfair that he was gone. Her heart ached for her mother who had been married to Three Stones for over forty summers. It was going to take a long time for her to get through this.

The elders of the village met quickly to decide where the village was to move. It was determined they would head for Strong Bear's village. All of the Oglala nations were to meet before the buffalo hunt and they knew that they would be safe in the large numbers the 7 tribes would total. The soldiers wouldn't dare venture near the hundreds of people that would be there.

Fire Dove sat on her horse with Acorn in front of her and followed the rest of the village toward the setting sun. By this time tomorrow they would be arriving at their winter camp. Everyone would be uneasy and quiet until they got to safety. Fire Dove rested her chin on Acorn's head and wrapped her arms tightly around him. She felt his body shudder as he tried to muffle his cries. She knew he was scared and upset about Three Stones death and it would take him a while to understand the meaning of what happened today.

The ride to Strong Bear's village was long and tiring. The sentries kept the village at a quick pace that would allow them time to back track and cover their trails. They stopped for short rests to water horses and stretch their weary muscles. They continued their hard riding through the night so they could arrive at Strong Bear's village at dawn. It wasn't long before the light of the sun began to peak from behind the mountains. Fire Dove looked at the beautiful sunrise and smiled. A little beauty to dull the pain everyone was feeling. She looked at some of the other riders and saw anger on their faces. One woman who had a travois behind her with two bodies looked and Fire Dove with hate on her face. Fire Dove had a feeling that the woman blamed her for their deaths. She just lowered her eyes and prayed that others didn't think the same.

Fire Dove sat straight with her arm-encircling Acorn. She tilted her head in confusion at the odd muffled sound she heard ahead of her. Smoke was rising in the distance and the riders began to stop. A few people began to dismount as others went around the stalled people to move forward.

"Mama, what is happening?"

Fire Dove looked down at her son's concerned face. "I am not sure. Do not worry, we are safe here." No sooner had her words passed her lips, than chaos erupted among the villagers. Fire Dove was completely surprised by the sudden attack. Soldiers had surrounded them and were now taking aim at anyone or anything that moved. Her heart sank at the bodies of friends and family that fell to the ground. She quickly dismounted from her horse and pulled her son into her arms. Fire Dove looked around for her mother, but only saw a blur of people running and frightened horses. She lost sight of White Wolf and her heart was racing with fear as she ran from the screaming and gunfire.

She ran through shrubs and thorn bushes trying not to trip in the dim light of the morning. A horse could be heard behind her as she tried to weave in and out of trees. Her pursuer was gaining on her and Fire Dove could feel the ground shaking under her feet. She prayed for help as she quickly stopped and crouched down. Suddenly she felt herself being lifted up and onto the moving horse. Fire Dove squirmed and turned angry eyes to her captor. "White Wolf!"

"Hush, my heart. The pale faces are hiding everywhere." White Wolf slowed his horse and ran his hand over Acorn's head to see if he was okay. He smiled when he realized both his wife and son were unhurt. "We are expected to have reinforcements soon. I wanted to get you and Acorn to safety."

Fire Dove nodded and rested her head on White Wolf's chest. They rode until the gunfire became distant. She shifted Acorn in her lap and felt completely safe in her husband's arms. Fire Dove looked up when her husband nudged her. "What is wrong?"

White Wolf said nothing as he slid from his horse and helped his wife down. "You and Acorn will be safe here. Keep low and stay here until I return." He leaned over and placed his forehead against hers. He stood silent for a moment inhaling her scent. The warmth of her hands on him always made his heart race. He smiled when Acorn wrapped his arms around White Wolf's thigh in a tight embrace. He cleared his throat and said softly. "My love is with you, my heart. Keep Acorn close to you and keep that red hair of yours hidden." White Wolf kissed his wife and leaned down to pick up Acorn. He placed a kiss on his son's cheek and set him on the ground next to Fire Dove.

Fire Dove waved to her husband and took Acorn by the hand. "Go quickly before anyone sees you. I love you." She quickly headed for a cluster of trees to hide herself and Acorn. Fire Dove began to settle herself and Acorn when she heard a gunshot. When she realized how close it was to them her head popped up from the bushes. "Acorn, you stay here. Do not move or make a sound." She kissed her son and cautiously ran to where she had heard the gunshot.

White Wolf laid on his back unsure of what just happened to him. His vision was blurring and pain was shooting through his back and down his arm. It was becoming harder for him to breathe and he closed his eyes to block out the piercing pain. He heard someone running toward him and opened his eyes to see Fire Dove. He saw the fear in her eyes as she approached him. He attempted to sit up but pain forced him to remain still.

"Oh, my God! White Wolf." Fear gripped her heart at seeing White Wolf covered in blood. A muffled cry escaped her throat as she dropped to her knees. "Can you hear me? White Wolf speak to me." She leaned forward to listen for his answer.

"Fire Dove, something is wrong with me."

"You have been shot. Can you move at all?" He shook his head no and she used her skinning knife that she had tucked at her waist to cut open the front of his shirt. Blood bubbled out of a gaping hole in his chest above his heart. She carefully rolled White Wolf onto his side to look at his back. Her hands were shaky as she cut at the hole in his shirt. She wiped at the blood that covered his back. Tears began to fall from her eyes as she spoke. "I do not know what to do. I think the bullet went straight through. Oh God, White Wolf, I do not know how to help you."

White Wolf rolled onto his back and grabbed his wife's hand. "You and Acorn must leave." His breathing was shallow and he began to cough. "They will not stop until. . ." He paused when Fire Dove placed her fingers on his lips. He turned his head away and continued. "They will keep coming unless you return with them. Fire Dove, someone wants you to go home."

"This is my home. I am not going anywhere; my place is with you. You are as much a part of me as my own body."

"You must leave! We can not survive anymore of these attacks." He placed her hand over his heart and closed his eyes. He could feel his blood pouring out of him with each breath he took. He was losing the battle and would be dead soon. He would not let her stay and watch him die. They shared a rare gift of love. It however would not be enough to keep them together. He had vowed to protect her until his last breath. As he grew cold and his life drained from his body he knew he had done all he could do to keep her safe.

"White Wolf, I am not leaving with those soldiers. Everything will be okay. We will get to Strong Bear's village and we will get you help."

"I fear I will not last that long." When he opened his eyes he saw her face had gone pale. "We are too different. Love is all we share and all we will ever have." He began to cough and he winced in pain as his body shook. "Our love will not overcome anything and it will not bring our people together. We must face the fact that our lives were not meant to be together." She began crying and gently stroked the side of her face. He reveled in the softness of her before retreating his hand. His voice was softer as he continued to speak. "What will we do when our love is gone? How many more people must die so we can be together? This is what my brother wanted. He wanted us apart, so the curse upon you will be broken at last. Go, so I can keep your image with me until my last breath."

Fire Dove looked at her husband and leaned over to rest her forehead on his. Her tears fell onto his face. She always did as her husband bided her to do, but she didn't want to leave him. "White Wolf, I will die without you. How can you say we were never meant to be together? You are my soulmate, my happy-ending. Please do not do this to us." She opened her eyes when he didn't answer. She leaned back and her hand covered her mouth. Dear God no! "White Wolf, wake up. You cannot leave me like this." She paused when he slowly opened his eyes.

"Fire Dove, remember that my love for you will live past death. Although our lives may forever run parallel, know that I am beside you always."

"White Wolf you cannot leave me. I can survive if I know you are alive somewhere. I can get through the days hoping you will come for me. But do not die my heart, for I cannot take the pain if you are gone forever."

"If I live. If I can survive this, I will come for you. We will ride far north, away from every white and red man. We will create a world of our own."

Fire Dove smiled down at her husband as his breathing came in short quicks breaths. "That sounds wonderful White Wolf."

"I know that living without me will be difficult. As long as you can picture my face, remember my touch and voice, know I am with you always." He took a shallow haggard breath. "You must continue on, if not for me, do it for Acorn. He will need you."

Fire Dove leaned forward and listened to his raspy voice as his eyes drifted closed and did not open again.

Fire Dove stared at her husband's pale face. Dark red blood continued to bubble from the hole in his chest and she placed her hand on his still warm body. A pain began to pulsate in her stomach that caused her to double over. This couldn't be happening. She broke out into agonizing cries that echoed through the air. Her chest burned and it hurt to breathe. How could he be dead? How could White Wolf be forever gone from her touch and kisses? Fire Dove gently touched her husband's face. His face looked peaceful and his skin was still warm. Could he be gone? She felt emptiness inside her, like a light had gone out and there was only darkness. She stared at White Wolf's face and realized she was never going to see him again. There was a numbness that crawled across her chest and threatened to choke her. It felt as if her body was shutting down.

Fire Dove slumped to the ground and began to softly sing White Wolf's death song. She hoped he would wait for her, for she felt herself dying with each painful breath she took. She grabbed her knife tightly in her hands and raked it across her thick braids until they were cut free. She laid the braids across White Wolf's bloodied chest and shook out her short locks. She finished the song and slowly raised her head to a small voice that kept calling to her. It took several moments for Fire Dove's head to clear and realize the small voice was Acorn. She carefully stood and went to where she had hidden Acorn. Anger flooded her veins when she suddenly saw a soldier step out from the shadows of some trees. The man stood tall with a large smile across his face. His long barrel gun was pointed directly at her son. Fire Dove advanced the man and almost knocked him over by her attack. "Get the hell away from my son!" She pulled the gun away from the surprised man and leveled it directly at his chest.

"Whoa there I was only trying to find out if he had any weapons on him."

Fire Dove looked at the man in disgust. "He is only a child."

"Ma'am smaller children have been known to attack us. I was just being careful. You a captive? What's your name?"

Fire Dove shoved the barrel of the gun into the man's ribs. "My Christian name is Rebecca Donnelly. And I am not a captive." She paused and looked to see more soldiers gathering around. "Where is General Stevens? I have already spoken with him about this."

"Ma'am he has been gravely injured in this attack and I am now in charge. All whites are to come with us."

Fire Dove dropped the gun to the ground and Acorn ran into her open arms. She spoke to the soldier without taking her eyes off her son. "I will leave if you stop this attack on my people."

The soldier reached up to his blond curly hair and raked his fingers through it. "That kid a breed?"

Anger flashed in Fire Dove's eyes. His insult pained her, but she ignored his remark and answered him. "No, he is mine and my white husband's. You or your men refer to him as anything else and I will make sure you regret your words."

The soldier's eyes widened and he quickly apologized. He did not need to accompany an angry woman back to Kentucky. One bad word to the General and he could lose his chance for a promotion to Major. He turned and walked over to the other soldiers and talked with them for a few moments. "You really have no say as to when we leave. However, since you are in custody and the only white we have seen, then we will retreat our men and head back home."

Fire Dove turned away from the crowd of soldiers and stared back to where her husband's body lay. She hoped he would be found and buried as an honored warrior who died in battle. Her heart ached at loosing White Wolf and she yearned to go to him and die herself. She looked at Acorn and had an odd sense that he knew his father was dead. She was twenty-fourand had been married and widowed twice. Fire Dove turned around when a soldier approached her with a horse. She numbly mounted and sat her son in front of her. Tears rolled down her face as White Wolf's last words echoed in her ears. "As long as you can picture my face, remember my touch and voice, know I am with you always." She closed her eyes and reluctantly steered the horse away from the only place she truly felt at home.

Chapter 25

My chest hurt. Every breath I took, the pain stayed constant and unyielding. I remembered this pain, it was familiar and as I searched my memories, my mind became clearer.

"Take a deep breath. You are safe and loved."

I knew that voice. She was familiar to me, but did I trust her? Maybe I should stay in the comforts of the darkness, hidden and safe.

"It's okay Saraphina. Open your eyes. We need you to wake up now."

My eyes flew open as my mind suddenly became alert. "Lenora?" I turned and saw my friend sitting next to me. Her eyes were red and puffy. "Lenora, what is wrong?"

She grabbed my hand and I remembered why my chest hurt. I had just lost someone I loved. Had it been a dream? It felt so real, so intoxicating. My body tingled with the after effects of my experience. He was gone. Just like that, he was dust in the wind. My eyes searched Lenora's and a soft smile crossed her face.

"Are you okay?"

Was I? "Am I okay?" No, I was not okay. "That hurt me." I paused and took a breath. "I mean, the physical act of the regression did not hurt. It's what I just went through that hurt. I just lost someone I loved very, very much." My voice broke and I fought not to blink. I would not cry. I was stronger than this. But my God, I have never in my life felt that kind of emotion and love. It was so powerful and I felt empty knowing it was beyond my reach.

"I am so sorry for what you went through. Hearing it, seeing on your face the pain of losing him." She lowered her head and the tears rolled steadily down her face.

I couldn't do this. I did not want to lay here and watch someone cry. Not when my insides were screaming at me.

"Mija, we heard it all. You told us everything you experienced and we were with you the entire time." Her face was stoic as a small smile formed at the corners of her mouth. I turned to Bridgett and searched her face for anything, any type of reaction.

"Did you learn anything helpful? Can these memories, these flashes of my past life be stopped?"

There was an eerie silence for a moment, Bridgett urged me to sit up. She handed me a cup and I drank the cold water that I hadn't realized I needed.

"When you are ready, we will start again. We need to know more of what Blue Feather did to you. If the ceremony he performed, caused your death."

I was stuck. Emotionally I didn't want to go through that a second time. But, I yearned for that life again. As my heart beat in my chest, I searched my mind for something, anything that would give me an answer as to what I should do. Could I go back? The thought of regression frightened me, but I would not be able to see White Wolf again, that was a thought I didn't even want to conjure. "I will allow you another chance to send me back." My voice began to waver and I cleared my throat. "You must find out what happened to us. Find out if she gets back to her family or does she try and stay with the Lakota. I do not want to wake up again and not have answers."

Bridgett nodded her head and I watched her from the corner of my eye as she began adding something into the fire. In an odd way, I was excited. To return to a life I had always thought long since gone and only obtained through books and movies. Did I love reading about Native American history because I had once lived it?

"Before we begin I need your assurance that you can steer me through time. Take me to the moment of time that will allow you to get the answers you need."

"I will do my best, but this is not an exact science."

"I understand." My voice wavered again and I quickly stood. "I need to step outside for a moment. I need fresh air and to use the bathroom."

"Oh yes, please, it will take me a few moments to prepare again." Bridgett continued with her work and I carefully headed to the exit.

"I'm fine Lenora." I put my hand out to stop her from standing. "I will be right back." Her face showed concern, but she nodded her head and I walked out of the tipi and into the cool night air. I took a deep breath and quickly headed toward the trees. My mind was still fuzzy, like the remnants of being drunk. I knew I was awake, but nothing felt real. I stumbled through the darkness and once I was away from the dwelling I leaned against a tree. I knew there was a connection. From the moment, I set foot on this land I felt something different. Was it because I had been here before? In a time long ago, with a man I loved beyond anything I had ever felt imaginable? I looked up to the star filled sky. Was he up there looking down on me now? "I can still feel you. I think a part of me was always waiting for you. Knowing you were out there." I sighed and closed my eyes. "You came into my life out of nowhere, and suddenly you mean the world to me." I wanted to cry. My throat was aching as I fought to contain my tears. What was wrong with me? I have never felt this lost and out of control of my feelings. "Get a grip. You need to keep it together." I took a few deep breaths and walked back to the clearing. I pushed through the bushes and stopped when I saw someone standing by the entrance to the tipi.

"I will let you know when she returns. We still have time before we begin again." Walter's deep voice made my chest vibrate. I had forgotten he was here. I stared at him from the security of the darkness. What was he hoping to learn from all of this, and who had he been talking to?

"If I make you uncomfortable, I can leave." He turned and faced me.

How did he know I was here? I stepped forward and into the glow from the burning torches beside the tipi.

"I didn't mean to disturb you. I just came from the woods, I wasn't eavesdropping."

He smiled and lowered his head. "No, I know that. It was not anything worth listening to anyway." He stepped aside and bowed slightly. "May your journey be a pleasant one."

I smiled. "Thank you." I walked past him. A weird sensation filled me as I passed and I stopped and looked at him.

"I thought you might recall something from your past life. Fire Dove's life force is strong in you."

My throat was dry. I had no response for him. I stood there, my hands clenched into fists and staring at a man who just spoke Lakota to me and I understood it. My mouth opened a few times in an attempt to speak, but nothing came out. I must have looked like a fish gasping for air.

"Go Saraphina. There is much we still must learn." He turned and disappeared into the darkness.

What was it about him that got under my skin? He had always been polite and courteous to me, yet I was wary of him. I felt he was hiding something and I wasn't sure I wanted to be around when I found out the truth.

"Saraphina, there you are." Lenora's head was sticking out of the tipi. "Bridgett is ready." She pulled at my hand and a surge of excitement suddenly filled me. I was ready to go back. I wanted to see what happened with Fire Dove once she returned to her parents. I climbed back onto the sleeping pallet and looked around.

"We are not sure where you will be when I send you back." Bridgett pushed her glasses back on her pudgy nose. She began collecting items in her hands. "I will do my best and hopefully we can get you some answers."

I smiled and laid back. Bridgett began talking and I felt my body begin to relax. The voices began to fade away and I watched the shadowed faces of the elders blend together into a mass of blackness. I was going back. A pull in my chest tugged at me and I knew with no uncertainty that he was there, calling out to me. Trying to bring us together again.

"You are relaxed and safe. I need you to look around. Tell me what you see."

"I'm chilled, but I can feel the warmth of the sun warming my skin.

Chapter 26 The sun warmed Fire Dove's chilled skin. She sat up from her bedroll and ran her fingers through her chin length hair. Her muscles were sore from days on a horse and she rubbed her stiff neck to ease the ache. Her son, sleeping peacefully next to her and she smiled as she watched him. An odd fluttering began in her stomach when she remembered she would be home by sunset. She hadn't seen her parents in more than five years. She was eighteen when she had left home with Kevin. Would her parents welcome her once they found out she had been living with Indians? Would any of her friends still be around? Would she even be able to relate to the life she left behind?

An odd fear overcame her and she suddenly felt sick. She pulled the covers back and quickly walked to the pond near their camp. She slumped to the ground by a large oak tree and took deep breaths. Her head was becoming clearer and her heart started to slow. She put a shaky hand to her forehead and closed her eyes. She didn't realize how scared she was to be returning home. She sat for a moment and looked across the large pond. The cool night had made a hazy mist that hung over the water. The wind began to blow and Fire Dove tilted her head to watch the branches of the Weeping Willows sway. The tips of the branches danced around and seemed to float on the surface of the water. Tears formed in her eyes when she took in the full sight before her. She had forgotten just how beautiful Kentucky was.

"Ma'am, I believe your kid is looking for you." Fire Dove was startled at the man's voice. She turned and tried to calm herself before she spoke. "Thank you, I'll be there in a moment." She watched the young man leave and she stood to brush herself off. She took a few steps and suddenly fell to her knees. Stomach spasms released everything in her stomach and Fire Dove sat for a moment as her body continued to tremble from her sudden attack. She leaned over to the water's edge and cupped the cool liquid into her mouth. She didn't think she was that nervous to make herself sick. If it happened now it was sure to happen again. She stood and walked back to where her son was waiting. They bathed, dressed in fresh clothes and packed up for the remainder of the trip.

Lillian sat on the blue velvet settee in the front parlor and stared out the window. She watched her husband talking to the man they had hired two years ago to find their daughter. Steven Murphy was in his early thirties and had earned a small fortune as a bounty hunter. He now employed several men to bounty for him as he ran the business and dealt with the families involved. He called it an investigating business.

Lillian pulled at her fingers as she watched the two men talk and then saw her husband lower his head and rub his neck. Something was wrong. She quickly stood and walked across the plush carpet to the front door.

"Mother, is everything alright?"

Lillian looked into the dinning room to see her son and granddaughter eating lunch. She waved at him in annoyance as she peered out the front door. Her husband shook hands with Steven and came toward the door. She quickly walked to the dining room and turned to face her husband as he walked through the door.

"Lillian, I know you were at the window. Did you hear what you wanted?" Matthew looked at his wife as she lowered her eyes. He took off his coat, which was taken by their maid Colleen. "Steven said that the troops are about a day's ride out. We can meet them at the fort about 8:30 – 9:00 tonight. He said there is only a small child traveling with Rebecca." He took a deep breath and took a few steps into the dining room. The looks on his family's faces were wide in anticipation. "There was no sign of Kevin. Steven was told that Kevin was killed by Indians awhile back."

"Oh lord, does Elizabeth know? We must go and tell her before some callous person does. She must not find out by the paper or gossip in the streets."

Matthew shook his head as he watched his wife hurry toward the closet to get their coats. She nearly knocked Colleen over trying to get to it, and mumbled a half apology to the maid.

"Matthew, you and I will ride out to Elizabeth's. Jonathan, take Lilly with you to fetch Dr. Evans. Elizabeth might need a doctor when she finds out her only son is dead." She paused for a moment and shook her head. "The poor woman, she will be devastated. Good thing she still has her daughter." She cleared her throat and took her husbands arm as he escorted her out the door.

"Lillian, I hope you know what you are doing. That woman doesn't need a house full of people when she hears about Kevin."

Lillian pulled her wrap tighter around her shoulders as their driver approached with the horses and carriage. "Matthew, I do not intend for this to be a town event. This is a family affair and it will stay with the family." She smiled at her husband and reached out for his hand. She squeezed it and placed a kiss on his warm cheek. "I just want our baby back. I have missed her so much it hurts inside. I want things resolved with Elizabeth before Rebecca comes home. I do not want to fight for her attention." Her husband nodded and they climbed inside the carriage to ride out to the Donnelly ranch. It wasn't long before they pulled up to the front porch. Matthew pulled the carriage break and got out and helped his wife down. They hadn't even reached the front step before the door flew open and Elizabeth walked out onto the porch. Her presence was breathtaking and the twosome stared at the middle-aged woman.

"Matthew and Lillian McIntyre. Before you step one foot onto my porch you better have an apology for me or you can turn right back around and go home."

Matthew cleared his throat and let go of his wife's hand. He took a step up and extended his hand. "Elizabeth, good afternoon. Do you think we could go inside and speak privately?" He watched Elizabeth cross her arms across her chest and shook her head. A few moments later Amanda came outside and stood behind her mother. This was not going well at all.

The first two years Kevin and Rebecca were missing both families worked together to find their children. When Bounty Hunter after Bounty Hunter came back with no word, Matthew confronted Elizabeth. He felt she was not being honest as to where Kevin had taken Rebecca. All she had ever said was that they were going west past the Mississippi. He confronted Elizabeth and demanded to know more information on Kevin's father's family. When Elizabeth refused, it was then that he began to suspect Elizabeth had lied about more then the whereabouts of their children. The two families had been arguing since.

"Elizabeth I know you are upset, but I really think we should go inside."

"You have insulted me and my children, yet you want me to invite you into my home? You sir, can kiss my Irish ass, because you are not going near my house."

Matthew angrily pulled his hat off his head and raked his fingers through his hair. "Damn it Elizabeth!" He took a deep breath when he felt his wife's hand on his arm. "Rebecca is on her way home. We are picking her up tonight."

Elizabeth's eyes grew wide with excitement. They had found them! She ran down the steps and stood in front of Matthew and Lillian and tears rolled down her face. "Oh thank God they are all right. Where on earth did they find them? Are they well? How is Kevin?"

Lillian looked at Matthew and saw the hurt on his face. This was not going to be easy. "Elizabeth. There is something you need to know. They only found Rebecca."

Elizabeth looked at Matthew and then to Lillian. "What do you mean they only found Rebecca. What aren't you telling me?" Her voice was frantic as she pulled at Matthew's arm.

Matthew looked at Elizabeth and then to his wife. "Maybe you should have Amanda go inside." He took Elizabeth's hand and sighed when she pulled it from his grasp.

"What aren't you telling me! What happened to my son?" Elizabeth watched Lillian escort her daughter inside as she swatted at Matthew's hands.

"The man we hired to find Rebecca told us she was alone. I really don't know how to say this, but Kevin was killed a while back. Rebecca has been living with Indian's this whole time."

Elizabeth went numb and she collapsed onto the ground. A pain in her chest made her double over as screamed. "No, no, no!" This wasn't happening. All this time she had hoped Kevin was safely living with his father's family. Now she finds out that he is dead, and had been for several years. How did she not know? She should have felt something or sensed that a part of her was gone. What was she doing when her son took his last breath? Was she sleeping, cooking or laughing when a life she had brought into this world slipped away.

Matthew bent down to comfort Elizabeth, but nothing he did seemed to help the bereaved woman. She had just lost her child and he had no idea how to comfort her. A few moments later he looked up to see Dr. Evans running toward them.

"Matthew grab her other arm we need to get her inside."

Lillian watched her husband and Dr. Evans help Elizabeth inside and walk her upstairs. "That poor woman. I can't imagine what kind of pain she is feeling right now." She turned to her son who had just walked inside.

"Ma, I think I will head back home with Lilly. Hopefully you and dad can resolve this before Rebecca comes home."

Lillian waved to her son and then closed the door behind him. In just a matter of hours her baby would be home. She wasn't sure of what kind of shape Rebecca would be in, but knew all would be right when she wrapped her arms around her.

Chapter 26

The sun had just set and brilliant colors of red, pink and purple filled the horizon. Rebecca took a few deep breaths and leaned down to her weary looking son. The ride was very hard on him, but he never complained. She looked up and saw the outline to Fort Hampshire in the distance. Her stomach began to do flips again and she tried to fight the bile that began to burn the back of her throat. She forced herself to swallow a few times and the burning began to stop.

"Ma'am, you and the private can ride ahead to the fort. The rest of my men will follow later." A strange look gleamed in his eye as he nodded to her.

Rebecca gave the soldier a strange look until she noticed the brothel at the outskirts of the fort. She knew all too well that those men needed a warm body next to them. Some of the men had approached her, attempting to get under her skirt. When she pulled a knife on one solider and cut his arm, the rest kept their distance. She had overheard many of the men say they would never lower themselves to a woman who had lain with a 'dirty redskin'. Rebecca didn't care, she wanted to be left alone. No man could say anything to her that would make her think less of White Wolf. She still couldn't believe he was gone. Her eyes began to tear up and before she could stop herself, tears were rolling down her face.

"Rebecca? Rebecca! Oh Matthew it's our baby. She's finally here."

Rebecca was pulled from her thoughts and quickly whisked off her horse and into her father's arms. She wrapped her arms tightly around him and continued to cry. He looked so old and thin, Rebecca wasn't sure if her embrace would hurt him. She sighed when her mother began squealing about her short hair and checked her fingernails and posture.

"Oh you are a mess. We will have to take you into town tomorrow and get you new clothes and…" Her words cut off in mid sentence and Rebecca turned to see what her mother was staring at.

Rebecca walked to her horse and pulled her son into her arms. "Mother, Father, this is my son Acorn. He is your grandson." Acorn buried his face in her shoulder and tightly clung to her neck. Rebecca spoke softly to Acorn in Lakota to assure him he was safe and no harm would come to him. He slowly raised his head and looked at the grandparents he had never met. She sat him on the ground in front of her and looked up at her parents.

"Grandson? You mean to tell me you and one of them had a child?" Lillian was appalled when she was told that this boy, this Indian boy was of her blood.

Matthew glared at his wife then sadly shook his head. He saw the hurt look on his daughter's face and his heart pained. He grabbed his wife's arm and spoke softly to her. "Lillian, this is your daughter. She has been missing for over five years and you have missed her very much." He dug his fingers into the soft part of her underarm and clenched his teeth as he spoke. "Act like you care and give your daughter and grandson a hug."

Lillian quickly pulled her arm away and gave her husband an angry look. She sighed and then turned back to her daughter. Her face was streaked with tears and her eyes were downcast. How could she be so heartless to her own daughter? She had no idea what her daughter went through or might still be suffering from. Lillian looked at the small boy that clung to Rebecca's dress and bent down in front of him. "Does he speak English?" She paused to wait for her daughter to answer.

Rebecca cleared her throat and then shook her head. "Mother he only speaks Lakota. I never expected to be here again. I never thought it important to teach him English."

Lillian nodded her head. "Matthew don't you think he looks like Rebecca?" She gently touched her grandson's face and forced a smile. "How old is he?"

Rebecca gently ran her fingers through her son's hair as she spoke. "He just turned four in June." Rebecca watched her mother as she stood and gently tapped out her fingers. "Mother, Acorn is Kevin's son. If you remember my last letter, I told you I was with child. Judas mother, you never change." Rebecca pulled Acorn into her arms and walked back to her horse. She turned back to her mother after she placed Acorn on the horse. "And to think I actually thought that this time apart you would have changed. Why did you ever come after me?" Tears rolled down her face and she mounted her horse.

Matthew became frantic with worry when his daughter mounted the horse in an attempt to leave. He turned to his wife and spoke. "Lillian please! Can't you see our daughter has been through enough without you griping at her." Matthew began to head after his daughter, but stopped briefly. "We have no idea what she has gone through. You can be very understanding, when you listen. Now come with me and be the mother she needs you to be."

Matthew followed his daughter and stopped her so he could talk to her. "Becca I know things are a bit strange to you now. Just give things a little time and you will feel back at home."

Rebecca nodded her head and wiped at her face. "It has been very hard for me papa. I had to live a life I wasn't accustomed to, but I did it. It was hard, but I am glad I went through it. I found out how strong of a person I really am and I hope you both can see that now. I know you and mother missed me and wanted me home safe, but I don't want to be here. I miss the life I was forced to leave behind. I will do as you ask and be the dutiful daughter. However, if I am forced to become someone else, so you guys can save face around town I'm gone. Do you understand me."

"Rebecca we didn't want anything, except to have you safe. We hadn't heard from you in over five years and didn't even know if you were alive."

Rebecca lowered her head. Her parents must have been crazy with worry, and she never once thought about how they must have been going through. "I'm sorry, I guess I was only thinking what was best for my son and I. Can we just go to the ranch? I am really tired from the trip."

Her parents both agreed and they all climbed into the carriage for the ride home. The ride back to the ranch was a quiet journey. Rebecca sat next to the carriage window and stared at the vast countryside. She had forgotten how beautiful this place was. Her stomach became tied in knots as they got closer and closer to the place she grew up. She and Acorn talked quietly in Lakota about where they were headed. Her son asked many questions and Rebecca answered them the best she could. She told him he was going someplace safe and not to be worried. Acorn began to drift off to sleep, content with his mother's words. Rebecca however, wished she could believe as her son that everything would be all right.

When the ranch came into view tears formed in Rebecca's eyes. In the dim light of the moon she saw the house she had once called home. Lights were gleaming from the windows and torches lit the pathway to the house. She could see two people sitting on rockers on the front porch and Rebecca covered her mouth to muffle her scream.

"Becca Bear! My little baby sister." Jonathan ran from the porch toward the carriage that came to a sudden halt. He pulled open the door and pulled a crying Rebecca into his strong embrace.

Rebecca continued to cry as her brother hugged her and placed kisses on her face. She was happy, she didn't understand why she was crying. When Jonathan finally pulled back to look at Rebecca she only saw happiness in his eyes. Not the pitied sadness her parents had given her.

"You look more tired then a huntin' coon dog." He saw her smile and turned to the small face the peeked out from the darkness of the carriage. "And who is this I see behind you?"

Rebecca tuned to Acorn and reached out her hand to him. "Johnny, this is my son Acorn." She softly whispered to her brother that Acorn could not understand English.

"I think a hug has a universal language, does it not?" Jonathan reached out his hand to Acorn and heard Rebecca speak something softly to him and then a large smile crossed his face. He picked up his nephew and laughed heartily as he began to jabber on in his own language like his uncle could understand.

Rebecca smiled at her brother as he carried her son toward the house. A few moments later a small girl with long blond hair ran from the porch and grabbed onto her brother's leg.

"Hey Becca, come and meet your niece Lilly Ann." Jonathan set Acorn down and bent down to his daughter. "That is your Aunt Rebecca, Lilly. Can you say hi?"

Rebecca knelt down to her niece and covered her mouth, as she became overwhelmed with emotion. "Hi Lilly. That is a beautiful dress you have."

"Daddy that Indian's gonna kill me like it did Mommy." Lilly broke out into hysterical screams as she clung to her father.

Rebecca pulled her hands back and slowly stood. She watched her brother stand and held onto his daughter as she continued to cry. He continued to comfort his daughter as he walked back to the house.

"I told him it wouldn't be a good idea for Lilly to meet Rebecca yet. That poor child was traumatized by what happened to her mother." Lillian gently wrapped her arm around her daughter. "The child watched as her mother was violated and killed by raiding Indians. Jonathan came home to the destruction and found Lilly hiding in the wood shed. It's a miracle she wasn't found by them. Lord knows what they would have done to her."

Rebecca pulled away from her mother and grabbed her son's hand. "I think my son and I will retire for the evening. Is my old bedroom still available?"

Matthew saw the hurt look on his daughter's face and gave a stern look to his wife. "Lillian, I think I will show Rebecca to her room. Do you think you could go and check on Jonathan and Lilly to see if he needs anything." He left his wife and walked with his daughter to the house. "Rebecca I know there will be some adjusting but, you will have to be patient with your mother." Matthew walked with Rebecca to her bedroom on the second floor and made sure she was settled in before retiring himself. "Blankets and towels are here on the chest. Colleen has drawn you up a warm bath, if you want to get that trail dust washed off."

Rebecca helped her son up onto the large fluffy bed as she nodded to her father. "That would be wonderful. Thank you Pappa." She watched him leave and closed the door behind him. Rebecca turned to her son and saw he was already asleep. She gently covered him with a blanket and gathered some towels and headed downstairs to the kitchen for a bath. The house was an uncomfortable quiet, as she lowered herself into the tub of warm water. She sighed as she allowed the warm water to sooth her aching muscles. She closed her eyes and her mind drifted off. "Oh White Wolf, how do I to get through life without you? How will I ever survive knowing you are forever gone? Everything is just as I thought it would be if I ever came home. No one understands me and think my time with you was some horrible experience that should not be mentioned. Everything real in my life was taken away when you died." She buried her face in her hands and cried for the life that was lost to her. Rebecca didn't know how long she was in the tub, but when she finally got out the water was cold. She slowly dressed and walked wearily up the stairs and collapsed into bed next to her sleeping son.

The bright morning sun poured through the white lace curtains and onto Rebecca's sleeping face. She squeezed her eyes shut and pulled her feather pillow over her eyes. She stretched her tired muscles and yawned a few times before removing the pillow. She looked around the room and saw that Colleen the maid had been in already. There were fresh flowers on the bedside table along with a small note saying welcome home. Rebecca rolled onto her side and reached for the glass of water on her night table. She took a few sips and set the glass down before sitting up. She propped herself against the headboard and looked at the clock that was hanging on the far wall. It was a little after eleven and Rebecca shook her head in disbelief. She couldn't remember the last time she had slept past sun up.

"Good Morning sleepy head." Lillian's cheery voice echoed through the large bedroom as she set a tray of food down. "I was hoping you would be up earlier so we could go shopping, but I guess we can go after you eat lunch."

Rebecca looked at her mother and sighed. "Mother what do I need to go shopping for? I think I still have some old dresses in the armoire or I can wear some of your dresses, can't I?" The look she saw on her mother's face told Rebecca all she needed to know.

"My daughter will not be wearing second hand dresses. Plus all your dresses were given away ages ago. Walter has a few dresses down at his shop that he can get to fit you in a matter of hours."

Rebecca threw her cover back and got up from bed to sample some of the food her mother had brought up. "Why such the urgency Mother? I don't have any plans to go anywhere." Rebecca had just bitten into a warm piece of buttered toast when her eyes traveled back to her mother's silent form. Dread began to fill her stomach when she had realized what was going on. "Mother what did you do?"

"It is something small, honest. I invited women from my sewing club and their husbands, Martha from the church choir and her husband Reverend Daniels. And of course I had to invite Mr. Steven Murphy. He is the reason you are here with us now Rebecca." Lillian saw how her daughter was reacting and tired to rectify her actions. "Rebecca this isn't what you think. I did this for you. This is a celebration that you are finally home safe and sound."

Rebecca shook her head and sat on the small settee by the window. "Mother, I just am not sure I am ready for all this attention. Many of those people are just gossip hungry hags. They are going to just assume they know what happened to me and run with it." She looked up at her mother and saw a kindness in her eyes she hadn't seen in a very long time.

Lillian sat down next to her daughter and pulled her hands into hers. "That is why I will have the Winchester Gazette's top journalist here to talk to you personally to get your story. It will be in tonight's evening addition."

"Mother I don't want my life ordeal's broadcast for the entire town to read. What I went through is personal and no one's business." Rebecca stood and walked toward the wardrobe when her stomach began to churn. She paused for a moment and swallowed the last bite of her toast. In an instant she was running for her chamber pot and vomiting into it.

"My Lord Rebecca are you all right? You aren't coming down with anything are you?" Lillian quickly walked to her daughter and tried to help her as best she could.

Rebecca sank to the floor after her body stopped convulsing and put a shaky hand to her forehead. "Mother could you get me some water please." She reached out her hand for the glass her mother handed her and slowly took a sip. She saw the worried look on her mother's face and smiled. "Mother its just nerves. I got sick the other day when I reached the outskirts of the fort. It's nothing honest." She wiped her mouth with her hand and slowly stood. "I feel better already."

Lillian looked at her daughter and frowned. "I don't want you getting sick again Rebecca. Are you sure you are alright?"

Rebecca smiled at her mother as she pulled open her wardrobe. "I am fine mother. What time do you want to go shopping?" She put on a fake smile and hugged her excited mother.

"I will have you brother get the horses and carriage ready. You get ready and I will be downstairs waiting."

Rebecca watched her mother close the bedroom door behind her when she left. She turned back to her wardrobe and shook her head. "I see she was serious when she said she had gotten rid of all my clothes." She ran her hand through her mother's lavish gowns that now hung in the wardrobe. "These are much too dressy for everyday wear. I I will have to find something in her closet." Rebecca walked to the door and opened it and was surprised to see her mother-in-law. "Elizabeth! What are you doing here?"

Elizabeth strolled past Rebecca and sat on the edge of the bed. "Come and sit with me."

Rebecca looked at her mother-in-law's unkempt appearance and frowned. She had forgotten about what she must be going through. "Elizabeth I am sure you want to sit and talk, but right now really isn't a good time." She noticed the tears in Elizabeth's eyes and Rebecca slowly shut her door as Elizabeth pulled at her fingers

"I was sixteen when I had Kevin. What a beautiful baby he was. His father was so proud. I didn't know much about babies, thank the lord for my mother-in-law."

Rebecca stared at Elizabeth for a moment. "Why did you have him lie to me Elizabeth? I loved Kevin very much, knowing he was Indian would not have changed my feelings for him."

Elizabeth turned to her daughter-in-law in surprise. "He didn't tell you? I told him to tell you Rebecca. I told him it would only cause problems if you found out somewhere down the road. He was so scared that he would lose you, but he swore to me that he was going to tell you. When he told me you both were headed west I assumed he told you. I had no idea this was still a secret to you."

Rebecca saw the scared look on Elizabeth's face and knew she was telling the truth. She sat next to her on the bed and took her Mother-in-laws hand into hers. "I don't hate him Elizabeth. He is the father of my son, and I will always see Kevin when I look at Acorn."

"You had a baby? A son?" Her eyes glistened with tears. "Oh Rebecca, can I see him please."

Rebecca smiled and nodded her head. Then a thought crossed her mind. How would she explain Elizabeth to her son? White Wolf was the only father he knew. She had never mentioned Kevin to Acorn. She paused as Elizabeth stood and began to straighten her hair. "Elizabeth, maybe we should wait before I introduce you to Acorn."

"Wait, whatever for? I am his grandmother and deserve to see the child."

Rebecca pulled at her fingers trying to find the right words to use. Her stomach began to bubble and suddenly she was rushing toward the chamber pot.

"Rebecca, oh deal lord are you okay?" Elizabeth watched as her daughter-in-law vomited again and again until she was just gagging. She slumped to the ground and laid a shaky hand to her head. "Rebecca, sweetheart, let me help you into bed. I can see my grandson later."

Rebecca slowly stood with the help from her mother-in-law and walked back to her bed. She lay down and closed her eyes as Elizabeth covered her with a thick quilt. "Elizabeth, thank you." Her voice was barely a whisper as she soon drifted off to sleep.

Rebecca awoke to coolness on her forehead. She slowly opened her eyes and saw her mother leaning over her with concern on her face.

"Oh thank heaven you're awake. I was so worried about you sweetheart. How are you feeling?"

Rebecca slowly sat up and leaned against her pillows as her mother handed her a cup of warm tea. "How long ago did Elizabeth leave?"

Lillian looked strangely at her daughter. "Honey, Elizabeth hasn't been here all day. Are you sure you're okay?"

"She stopped by shortly after you went downstairs to get the carriage."

"Oh I guess I didn't see her. Anyway dear, are you feeling any better? You have been sleeping for most of the afternoon." Lillian looked at her daughter's pale, sunken face and knew something was very wrong. What in the world did those heathens do to her baby? "Rebecca I am going to call the doctor. There is something not right about the way you have been feeling."

Rebecca shook her head. "Mother, I am fine. I seem to always get sick right after I eat, maybe my stomach needs to get used to this food again. How about you just get me some dry bread and a glass of water. No jam or butter on it okay." She saw the concerned look on her mother's face, but knew that there was nothing to be worried about. She had been going through a lot of changes in these past few days. Her body was just having a hard time adjusting.

Rebecca got up from bed and walked to the window, when she heard strange voices coming from outside. To her amazement people were flocking to the house in crowds. Some were carrying baskets, others flowers and small packages. What the devil was going on? "Mother? Mother, do you know what is going on outside?" Rebecca walked from her room and stood at the landing as she watched her father and mother try and accommodate all the visitors. She saw her mother catch a glimpse of her and rushed to her.

Lillian was breathless as she hurried up the stairs and escorted her daughter back into her room. "Rebecca, I had nothing to do with this, honest. I had your father tell everyone that the party was cancelled when you got sick. All these people are from town. They have brought gifts and well wishes, for you."

Rebecca was stunned. "For me?"

"Honey, they are here to welcome you home. Most of the people are from church and knew we prayed for your return every Sunday during mass. Do you think you could get dresses and at least say thank you?"

"I have nothing to wear mother. You got rid of everything I owned. I honestly don't think you want me to go downstairs in what I arrived home in."

"Oh I picked you up a few dresses this afternoon while you where in bed. I think they should fit." Lillian walked out of the room and a few minutes later, returned holding several gowns. She laid them out onto Rebecca's bed and then turned to her daughter. "What do you think?"

"I am speechless."

"I will send Colleen up to help you get dressed and if you need anything else, just call."

"Mother."

"Yes, dear?"

"Where is my son?"

Lillian tilted her head and smiled. "He is downstairs with your father. He has not left his side since you two came home." She gently touched the side of her daughter's face and then placed a kiss on her forehead. "You are safe here dear, you and your son." With that she turned and left the room.

She looked at the corset and tossed it aside. There was no way she was putting that thing on. Colleen came in to help and did not hide her distain when Rebecca refused to wear the corset. Rebecca looked at the dresses and decided to wear the muslin green one. Amazingly it fit quite well, and she smiled in the mirror at the woman that stared back at her. She pulled her chin length hair back and pinned it in a twist at the back of her head. She took a deep breath and left the room to head downstairs. As she descended the steps long forgotten faces came into view. Warmth filled her insides as she reached the bottom step everyone roared.

"Welcome home Rebecca."

Tears came to her eyes as people swarmed to her to shake her hand, kiss her or embrace her. So many people, some she didn't even know had come to welcome her back from the horrible ordeal she had endured. One older woman told her of how her daughter and grandson had been taken when their farm was attacked.

"I still pray every night that I will see them again. I know it has been a long time, but I believe if I don't see them in this world I will be blessed to see them in the next."

Rebecca smiled and tried to assure the woman, that they were safe and most likely had been adopted into the tribe. She however had no idea what tribe they were taken by and for all they knew could have been traded to the Spaniards for horses.

As the evening wore on Rebecca was feeling more at home. Everyone was sincerely kind when talking to her and she never felt like she was being gawked at. When she finally got a moment to herself she went outside onto the porch to sit on the swing.

Acorn was sitting on the porch with her father and they both sat quietly playing checkers. "Are you two having fun?" Rebecca sat on the swing and kicked her shoes off.

"Your boy is one quick learner. I only had to show him how to play it once and he has beaten me every time since."

Rebecca chuckled a bit and shook her head. "Papa, Acorn already knows how to play checkers. Who do you think taught him?"

Matthew smiled at his grandson and shook his finger at him as he watched the sneaky smile cross his face. "You tried to pull a fast one over your dear old granddad, didn't you."

"Papa, consider yourself lucky you haven't been betting money. You would have lost half the farm by now." Rebecca translated to her son what they said and soon all three were laughing.

"Rebecca dear, could I have a moment with you?" Lillian had walked onto the porch and motioned for her daughter to come to her.

Rebecca slipped her shoes back on and walked toward her mother. "I would really like to relax a bit mother, I am very tired from all the excitement today."

"Yes, yes I understand, but I wanted to introduce you to Mr. Murphy."

Rebecca looked at the handsome man standing next to her mother and smiled. "It's nice to finally meet you Mr. Murphy. I am sorry you went through so much trouble to bring me back."

"Mrs. Donnelly, it was no trouble at all. I would do it again, just to see the happiness on your mother's face when I told her I found you."

Rebecca looked at her mother as she blushed and tossed her head back and laughed. Suddenly the thought of all that happened that conspired to bring her home made her stomach churn. Bile began to rise in her throat and Rebecca lowered her head and tried to excuse herself before getting sick in front of Mr. Murphy.

"Mrs. Donnelly are you okay?"

Rebecca flinched as Mr. Murphy grabbed her arm and she lurched forward retching all over his feet. Her head felt fuzzy as she slumped forward into blackness.

Chapter 27

"I cannot believe I have been sleeping for sixteen hours. Was I indeed that sick?" Rebecca mumbled her thoughts as she tried to remember yesterday's events. Her parents had thrown her and Acorn a welcome home party that was open to almost the entire town. She hadn't even been home a week and Rebecca wasn't sure her parents should have gone through all the trouble. Surprisingly, most of the people were gracious and sympathetic to her situation. Acorn, who had been playing with his Grandfather, was thankfully not the topic of conversation. Rebecca did however hear two women whispering about Acorn's complexion and features. It was clearly evident that Acorn wasn't a product of her time with the Oglala. His age clearly answered anyone's doubt, but it was evident these two women thrived on gossip. Hadn't she heard them talking about Miss Wheeler and her gardener? That was gossip when she was young. She was just convinced that some people would believe anything no matter how unreal it may be.

It then occurred to her that she had gotten sick in front of Mr. Murphy. Rebecca felt her face redden when she remembered getting sick all over Mr. Murphy's shiny black boots. Her head turned to the knock at the door. Rebecca straightened her hair and began to wipe the sleep from her eyes as she said, "Come in."

Lillian McIntyre pushed the door wide open and stepped aside to allow Colleen to come in. The maid was carrying a large tray of food for Rebecca and carefully laid it next to the bed before stepping out.

"Good morning dear, did you sleep well?" Lillian strolled across the room and made sure Colleen had closed the door behind her before speaking again. "I was very worried about you Rebecca. You have been acting very strange lately. Are you sure you didn't pick anything up from those people?" It was very evident that Lillian would not accept that the Indian's Rebecca had lived with were anything but heathens.

"Mother, will you please stop fidgeting and come sit by me while I eat. It would be nice to just sit and talk for awhile." Rebecca was hoping that her absence had made her mother's tongue less sharp and accusing.

Lillian dropped her hands from the curtain she was fussing with and accepted her daughter's invitation. "I thought you wouldn't want to talk, you have been very tight lipped about your whole ordeal. I understand it has been hard for you Rebecca, but it was hard for us too." She sat on the chair next to her daughter's bed and uncovered the tray of food. She served Rebecca a little bit of everything before pouring herself a cup of coffee and settling in the chair. "Aren't you going to eat? You need food to get your strength back and to heal."

Rebecca felt her stomach grumble, and began to feel queasy again. "Maybe I should start with some toast and juice. Can you hand me my glass?" She thanked her mother as she began to eat the warm toast. "Where is Acorn? Has he eaten already?" Rebecca heard her mother sigh heavily at the mention of Acorn's name.

"Your son, Kevin Jr. is out at the barn with your father. He is attempting to teach that boy how to ride in a saddle." Lillian huffed at her daughter's glaring look. "Look Rebecca, that boy is white and should be raised as one. If you don't want him to be teased by other kids then don't make it obvious to everyone he was raised by heathens."

"Mother, if you insist on talking to me like that, then don't talk to me at all." Rebecca pushed the tray off her lap and onto the night table. "Please leave!" Rebecca rolled on her side and looked out the window. She didn't understand why she was frightened to tell the truth about Kevin's ethnicity. She was more than willing to announce to the world that she had been married to White Wolf.

Lillian stood and stared at her daughter's back. She could tell Rebecca was crying and wanted to kick herself. She didn't want to have her daughter cry for any reason. "Rebecca, honey I'm sorry." She sat on the edge of her daughter's bed and laid her hand on her back. "I guess I was hoping you would be eager to come back to us. A day didn't go by that I didn't think about you. When you came back, you actually seemed upset with us. Honey, what happened to you that you can't tell me?" She watched Rebecca and waited. Her daughter laid still and said nothing. Lillian adjusted herself on Rebecca's bed and began to pick at her skirt.

"I fell in love with another man." Rebecca's voice was barely a whisper and Lillian turned to face her daughter.

"What was that?

Rebecca rolled onto her back and stared up at her mother. Her face was streaked with tears and she was biting her bottom lip. "I fell in love with someone."

"Who did you fall in love with? Was it while Kevin was still alive? Who is he?" Lillian stopped when Rebecca turned away again. "Rebecca, please baby, talk to me."

"Mother, he was the most wonderful man." She faced her mother again and wiped at her wet face. "He helped me when I delivered Acorn." Rebecca grabbed her mother's hand and squeezed it when she saw her mother open her mouth to speak. "Mother just listen, please. He was a very good friend when I was first with the Indians. He taught me many things and watched out for me. I could confide in him and he was my first real friend."

"Rebecca, was this man an Indian?" Her voice quivered as she asked the question.

"Mother, please don't. I loved him more than I ever thought I could love anyone. He touched my soul and I feel lost and empty without him." Rebecca started to cry again and her mother leaned over to wipe her tears. "I can't eat or sleep. My body aches all over just for his touch. We vowed we would never be apart from each other. Mother, we had something very special. Something I didn't even have with Kevin. It was so pure and so…" She paused for a moment before speaking again. "Mother I was married to him." The gasp from her mother told her more than she needed to know.

"Good lord Rebecca, is this what is bothering you? Do you actually believe that you were in love with the person who kidnapped you, held you prisoner and brainwashed you to believe that your place was with him?" Lillian's words stopped when she saw Rebecca pull her hands over her face. Lillian paused and heard her daughter's muffled cries. "Oh honey it isn't that bad. This happens to all the women and children that come back. Those savages brainwash you to believe that your place is with them. They make you believe that your family doesn't want you and that they aren't looking for you." She waited as Rebecca slowly pulled her hands from her face.

"Mother, how can you say such things? You weren't there, you don't know what it was like." She choked on a sob and began to cough.

"You're right dear, I don't know what it was like. I need you to tell me so I can help you."

Rebecca felt bitterness in her mouth at her mother's words. Did her mother actually believe she had been brainwashed? Her stomach suddenly began to cramp and Rebecca knew what was coming next. She quickly leaned over and grabbed the chamber pot from the side of her bed. Rebecca began to vomit uncontrollably until she shook from the spasms.

Lillian had gotten up while Rebecca was getting sick and called for the maid to bring up fresh sheets and a cool wet rag. She then told Colleen to fetch the doctor.

Rebecca lay on her back staring at the ceiling. Dr. Evans was very old and had cold callused hands. He pushed on her stomach, checked the movement of her joints and listened to her chest. He grunted a few times and occasionally looked at her with a disapproving look. He had his bright white hair combed forward in an attempt to hide his receding hairline. He had small-framed glasses that sat on the tip of his pudgy nose. Dr. Evans dressed modestly with dark pants and a vest. His white, starched shirtsleeves were rolled up past his elbows as he examined her. The doctor mumbled a few things Rebecca had told him were bothering her.

"Can't keep anything down. Feel weak all the time. Sleeps a lot." He finished his examination, washed his hands in a basin and pulled his sleeves back down. "When did you have your last monthly?"

Rebecca looked over at her mother as she felt her face getting red. Should she answer him or just ignore the fact he even asked her that question?

"There is a possibility of a few things. I could easily narrow it down if you might be with child." Dr. Evan's face was stern as he waited for Rebecca to answer.

Rebecca twisted her fingers at the thought of being pregnant. She would have something to remind her of White Wolf. Proof that she was there and what they shared was real. "No. There is no way I am with child. I had my monthly just recently, plus complications from previous miscarriages, I have not been able to conceive."

The doctor nodded his head before he spoke. "I'll need to refer to my medical journals and get back to you later today."

Lillian quickly stood from her chair at Rebecca's bedside and approached the doctor. "What do you think is wrong? Is it anything serious?"

"Mrs. McIntyre, I don't want to cause unnecessary concern, so I'll keep my diagnosis quiet until I'm sure. Meanwhile keep her in bed. She needs lots of rest if she wants to get better. She can get up only to go to the bathroom. Give her plenty of fluids and keep her visitors to a minimum. I will send word as to my final diagnosis." He grabbed his black leather medicine bag and followed Colleen out the door and down the stairs.

Lillian glared at her daughter and quickly shut the door. "What do you mean you had several miscarrages? You have been trying to mate with that, with that heathen?"

Rebecca's face became flushed at her mother's accusations. "Mother, think about what you just said for a moment. Everyone thinks every man in the tribe raped me. Wouldn't you rather me not be pregnant than have the entire town stare at me with silent accusations? Besides, I was on my monthly on the trip back here." Rebecca placed her hand over her flat stomach. She knew there was no baby. After the last child they lost, she finally agreed with White Wolf to take the Willow Bark tea, so she would not conceive again. The curse Blue Feather had placed on her was too much for them to bare any longer. Every month she would endure her time in the woman's lodge. Her desire to give White Wolf a child was gone forever.

Lillian looked at her daughter and saw how disappointed she looked. "Rebecca, I'm sorry. I guess I didn't think about how others would view your situation. Are you sure you didn't pick anything up from them?"

"Well I know it isn't anything serious. If it were, Acorn would be sick too. It's just nerves; I'll be fine." She pulled the cover back from her bed and swung her feet out onto the floor.

Lillian rushed over to her daughter. "Get yourself back into that bed. I don't care what you think. You are staying in bed until I get an okay from the doctor."

"Mother, I feel fine." Rebecca attempted to stand again but Lillian pushed her back against her pillows.

"Rebecca Ann, stay in that bed. Do not make me get your father." Lillian felt her daughter's body relax and she knew she had won. She kissed Rebecca's forehead and tucked her in. "I will send some soup up in a bit. Try and get some rest." Lillian gathered a few towels the doctor had used and closed the door behind her.

Rebecca rolled on her side and looked out the window. Her heart ached for White Wolf. How could she ever make her mother understand that what they had was real? How dare her mother think she should be ashamed for the time they were together! If White Wolf were never killed, he would come and rescue her. Rebecca was pulled from her thoughts when she heard a soft knock at her door. She smiled when a tiny dark head peeped around the corner of the door. "Acorn! Come to me, my son." Rebecca spoke to her son in Lakota and watched him run quickly to her open arms.

"Mother, grandfather was teaching me to ride a horse in a white man's saddle. We rode through the trees and then down by a pond where the horses drank and we sat under a giant tree and talked."

Rebecca looked at her son for a moment before speaking. She knew he did not understand any English. He was brought up speaking and understanding only Lakota. "How did you and your grandfather talk?

"We drew pictures in the dirt and pointed to things. He is funny, mother. I like my new grandfather."

Rebecca smiled and helped her son climb onto her bed. She pulled off his moccasins and tossed them to the floor. He continued to wear them despite his grandmother's protests. Rebecca pulled her son close and inhaled his scent. Acorn's hair was tangled from the wind and Rebecca threaded her fingers through it. "Did you have fun today?" Acorn settled himself next to his mother and rested his head against her shoulder.

"Grandfather is nice. He said he would teach me to speak the white man's tongue, if I teach him to speak Lakota and to shoot with a bow and arrow. It will be fun."

Rebecca laughed softly and closed her eyes and listened to the rhythmic breathing of her son. Soon, he was fast asleep and Rebecca followed suit just as the sun ducked behind some dark clouds in the sky.

Rebecca awoke from a peaceful slumber to the sound of rain hitting the window. She opened her eyes to a dark bedroom and wondered how long she had slept. She stretched her muscles and yawned as she watched the rain fall in the dreary light. Rebecca turned toward the bedroom door when she heard a soft knock. "Who is it?"

"It's me Becca. Can I come in?"

The soft voice of Rebecca's brother come from the other side of the door and she sat up. "Come in." She looked for Acorn in the dim light, but didn't seem him in the bed with her.

"Hey how are you feeling?"

Rebecca looked at her handsome brother and ran her fingers through her short hair. "I am feeling better, have you seen Acorn?"

"He and Lilly are playing in the front parlor. She is trying to teach him his ABC's." Jonathan sat in the chair next to his sister's bed and lit the lantern on the dressing table.

"Good Lord John, he only just, turned four and he doesn't understand any English." Rebecca leaned across her dressing table to take a sip of water that was sitting out for her.

"Becca, I think you would be very surprised how much he really understands. I heard him talking quite clearly with Pop earlier. Besides you were reading at age three, so him being four isn't too young at all." He cleared his throat and tried to get comfortable in the tiny chair. "So how are you and mom getting along?"

Rebecca shrugged her shoulders and pulled at a loose thread on her nightgown sleeve. "You know how she is. She thinks that she went through this whole horrible ordeal with me being gone. Oh lord her beautiful daughter has been taken by Indians. Please. I have had it with her feinted concern. I sometimes feel she was glad this all happened. All the attention she must have had while I was gone. Oh poor Mrs. McIntyre, what she must be going through."

Jonathan sat quite for a moment before he spoke. "Becca, I think you are speaking out of turn. Mother and Pop have gone through hell. You don't know what it's been like for us."

Rebecca sat speechless for a moment. Her throat went dry and she had to cough to get her voice back again. "How hard it's been for you? What the hell is that supposed to mean? I wasn't captured, there was no ransom or ransacking of a village for me. Kevin and I ran across a few Indians and one killed him by mistake and I ended up going into labor. How is that an ordeal for you?"

Jonathan raked his finger through his sun bleached hair and rested his elbows on his knees. "We didn't know that Becca. All we knew was that you two were headed West past the Mississippi and you were due in June sometime. When June came and went we knew something was wrong when we didn't hear from you. Mother and Pop hired a lot of people to try and find out what happened to you two. Our worst fear was that you were killed by Indians, your bleached bones scattered in the desert."

Rebecca gasped at Jonathan. "Good God John, what kind of talk is that?"

"My wife was raped and murdered as my daughter watched from the wood chest. All I thought of was the same thing was happening to you."

"Well it didn't. I was never treated badly by anyone in the village. They were my friends and family. I miss them dearly and I can't expect you to understand any of this after what you went through, but I wish you never came after me."

"Rebecca, things were hard for Mom and Dad. Just imagine hearing your daughter was missing in Indian Territory and no one was willing to go look for her. Everyday we would hear horrible stories of women and children being taken as their son's and husbands are murdered. You would see the army find a few of them and bring them back and they are so crazed with what happened to them they end up taking their life. Rebecca we don't know what it was like for you, just like you don't know what it was like for us."

Rebecca lowered her head and pulled at her fingers. "God, John I'm sorry. I never thought of it that way. I just was living my live and suddenly everything I cared about was taken from me in an instant and I have to lead this other life I am not sure I want anymore."

"I know it must have been an adjustment for you when you came home, but please don't let mom and dad hear you talk like that. They spent a lot of time and money to bring you home. Every day their hearts would break when one after another bounty hunters would come back empty handed. I know the life you had here before you left was not the best, but it doesn't mean our parents don't care about you."

Rebecca looked at her brother and saw him in a different light. "When did you get so grown up? You are starting to sound like Papa."

"I guess that sometimes happen when you have kids, we become our parents."

Rebecca laughed and remembered on occasion telling Acorn things her mother used to say to her. "I guess it must be odd for you to see me as a mom, hugh? I was only sixteen when you last saw me."

"Yes at first it was, but the happiness I felt when I saw you again, well let's just say time didn't matter anymore." Jonathan cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck before he started to ask Rebecca about his nephew. "Rebecca, does Acorn know who his father is?"

Rebecca wasn't sure how to answer her brother's question at first, she gave him a strange look and he rephrased it.

"Does Acorn know that Kevin was his father?"

Rebecca knew this would be coming, but she was hoping it wouldn't come so soon. "He only knows of one man being his father. I still don't know how I am going to tell him, because Elizabeth wants to meet him. How do I explain to him the man he knew as his father is not?"

"I'm not sure Becca, but you should have never told him anything other then Kevin being his father."

"John, don't go there. I am not going to argue with you about how I raise my son. White Wolf was a good man and wonderful father to Acorn. He loved him just as much as Kevin would have."

"Who is White Wolf?"

Rebecca lowered her head. Now she'd done it, the cat was out of the bag. She was always honest with her brother and they had never kept secrets from each other. This however wasn't something she was sure he could handle.

"Rebecca, tell me the truth. I know you're fixing up a lie."

Rebecca looked at her brother innocently. "Why do you think I am going to lie?" He pointed to her hand that was twirling a lock of hair between her fingers. She lowered her hand and felt her throat begin to burn as her thoughts went to White Wolf. "He…" She cleared her throat and leaned over to take a sip of water. "He was my husband."

"Your what!"

"Just listen to me okay John. I want you to clear your mind of all things you have heard about Indians. Just think of me telling you about a man. A man that took me in and gave me everything I needed." Rebecca began her story from the very beginning of the first day she met White Wolf. She told her brother everything, nothing was left out. They talked through the day and into the night, they never left the room taking their lunch and dinner in Rebecca's room. When a soft knock was heard on the door Rebecca paused and asked who it was.

"It's your father."

"Oh Papa, come in." Rebecca ran her fingers through her hair and smiled when her father walked in with Acorn asleep in his arms. She quickly stood and walked over to him. "Poor baby, he is exhausted. Can you put him in my bed for me?"

"I can put him in your mother's and my bed if you want to stay up and talk with your brother."

Jonathan stood and cleared his throat. "Actually it's getting late and I should go get Lilly from her grandmother's house. She has been there all day, and Martha I bet is as tired as a mule. Becca, we will talk later okay. I want to hear more about the Lakota. They are truly fascinating people." He kissed her forehead and patted his fathers back before he left the room and headed downstairs.

"Papa just leave him here. I think you need your rest."

Matthew looked strangely at his daughter. "What in god's name did you say to that boy? He has wished all Indians dead since he lost his wife."

Rebecca gently brushed her son's hair away from his eyes and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. "I just told him about the people I had lived with for the past four years. Not all Indians are savages Papa, just like all whites don't hate Indians."

Matthew nodded his head and laid his grandson down on his daughter's bed. She kissed him good night and he left her alone in her room with her sleeping son. Rebecca looked at herself in the mirror. Her face was pale and ashy looking. Dark circles surrounded her eyes and her once shiny auburn hair, hung limply around her face. She closed her eyes and shook her head. With the way she looked no wonder everyone thought she had a horrible ordeal. Little did they know that she looked this way because she was miserable here. She walked to her bed and lay next to her son. Pulling his warm body close to her she inhaled the scent of his hair and picked up one of his small hands and kissed it before placing it against her face. She closed her eyes and begged for sleep to take her. She needed to return to her home and all her friends and family, even if it was only in her dreams.

A soft knock pulled Rebecca from her slumber and she asked who it was.

"It's Colleen, Ma'am. I am here with your breakfast."

Rebecca was surprised that it was morning already but knew she must have slept soundly not to realize that her son was already up. She sat up and told the maid she could enter. She watched Colleen light a few oil lamps and then carry in a tray of food. "Is my son downstairs? He wasn't in bed when I woke up?"

"Yes, Mrs Donnelly, he is in the kitchen with Mr. McIntyre. The doctor will be here soon. It is important that you eat something."

Rebecca thanked Colleen and waited for her to leave before attempting to eat. All that she could keep down was the toast and juice. The rest of the food she left untouched and carefully walked to her armoire. How much had her mother spent on these dresses? They were all beautiful, but the thought of all the work she would have to do to put one of them on tired her out. She was better off just wearing her nightgown and staying in bed. Suddenly her stomach began to quiver and bile began to burn her throat. She quickly ran to the chamber pot and emptied her stomach of the food she just put into it.

Rebecca slumped to the floor and leaned against her bed as sweat began to trail down from her forehead. Her hands were shaking and she had an urge she was going to be sick again. A knock at her door pulled her thoughts away from the basin for a moment. "Who is it?" Rebecca's words were barely a whisper as she tried to speak. Her throat was raw and hurt when she tried to talk. A few minutes later there was another knock and then the door slowly opened.

"Mrs. Donnelly, are you in here?" Colleen's voice was a little hesitant as she stepped inside the bedroom.

Rebecca raised her arm to show Colleen where she was and soon she had Rebecca lying safely in bed. Outside her bedroom she heard her mother and Dr. Evans talking.

"I understand you are worried about your daughter, Mrs. McIntyre, but I need to examine her alone. I am the doctor here, so unless you have a medical degree, please step aside."

Rebecca smiled when Dr. Evan's walked into the room alone. She watched him for a few minutes readying himself.

"I thought you might want to hear this news alone. I understand what kind of impact it could have on your family. I don't want you to have to go through any unnecessary stress. I can end this all now if it is your wish. No one but you and I will know."

Rebecca nodded, but was unsure if she really wanted to know. What did he mean when he said he could end this all now? What was wrong with her? Did she need to have surgery? What was so damaging that he had to tell her by herself?

"Mrs. Donnelly."

"Please, call me Rebecca. My husband is dead now, I feel strange using that name."

"Okay, Rebecca. You are about seven months away from…."

"Oh dear god, that's all the time I have left, seven months? Who will care for my son? I don't want him to be an orphan."

"Miss Rebecca, please! Let me finish. You are with child. You are due to deliver in late February early March. You will not die, and your health is not at risk. You are just having the most serious case of morning illness I have ever come across. I do, however, believe you already knew this. Am I correct in my assumption?"

She was pregnant? How could this be? "Dr. Evans, you are incorrect. I had no idea I was with child. Everytime I was carrying, I was healthy and my monthly stopped. I do not understand how you figure I am with child."

"You have not stopped your monthly at all?"

"No, it has come on time, I was even on my cycle on the trip back home. Why?"

"I assure you, after my exam I will verify you are indeed with child."

Rebecca leaned back in bed after her exam and watched Dr. Evans wash his hands in the water basin next to her bed.

"You are just having light bleeding that should stop with in a few days. If you feel any cramping or the bleeding become heavier, notify me as soon as possible." He dried his hands and pack up his medical bag before handing Rebecca a dark bottle containing a liquid. "If for some reason you do not want this pregnancy to go to term, drink this. Otherwise I will see you in six weeks. Good Day Rebecca."

Rebecca watched Dr. Evans leave and she rolled onto her side and stared out the window. Tears rolled down her face as she thought of what she would be going through in a few months. How would she be able to prepare her family on what would happen to her when the curse forced the child from her body? She didn't want to do this without White Wolf. He was the only one she could share her pain with. She closed her eyes at the thought of the new life she had to face alone.

Chapter 28

The sun was warm against Rebecca's face as she rode into town with her father and son. Her mother insisted she used a parasol, but as soon as Rebecca was out of sight of the ranch, it was tossed to the back of the wagon. She enjoyed the way the sun warmed her skin as it had been several weeks since she had even been outside. However, with her not being able to keep food down for any long periods of time, she felt it was for the best for her health to return before venturing out. Rebecca had told her father she was with child, but couldn't muster the courage to tell her mother. Now that she was keeping food down, she wanted to get out and see how much things had changed in five years.

"Rebecca, what do you plan on doing when this child comes? Are you planning to find a husband soon? There are several respectable single men that leave nearby."

"Papa, I didn't know you wanted me to leave the ranch. I guess I thought I was welcome to stay."

"Oh you are, you are. I just thought you wanted to start thinking about your future and who is going to care for you and your children. Becca you are welcome to stay as long as you want."

Rebecca smiled at her father, but her feelings were not the same as his. Fear gripped her insides at what would happen once she was 5 months along. She had never gone past that and how would she prepare her parents for what was to come? She also had the feeling the town would treat her differently now as well. Granted everyone seemed nice now, but knew things could change the minute they find she was with child. She knew she would be better off going back to the Lakota, but that was impossible. Since she was a widow now, she would have to move in with her mother or White Wolf's cousin, Kicking Elk. He and Morning Sun already had 4 children, adding her and Acorn would make the dwelling too crowed.

She shook her head and looked at her father. How could she forget how much she loved him? Maybe because Three Stones was so much like her father they had become one in her mind. She was still saddened about his loss and knew he would not truly be gone, for she had wonderful memories of him. Her father was so happy she was home and here she was thinking about wanting to leave again. Rebecca blinked a few times to rid her eyes of the tears that threatened to fall.

The wagon came to a halt as Rebecca's father applied the brake and jumped from the wagon to tie the horses to a hitch.

"Well, good afternoon, Mrs. Donnelly. What a pleasant surprise to see you out and about." Steven Murphy tipped his hat and smiled a welcoming grin to Rebecca. He held out his hand and helped her from the wagon.

"Hello there, Big Guy. I bet you're too big to need help down from there." Steven looked at Acorn's odd expression and then to Rebecca. "Did I say something wrong? I hope I didn't scare the little fellow."

Rebecca was embarrassed that Acorn couldn't understand Mr. Murphy and quickly picked him up into her arms. "It isn't you, Mr. Murphy, he just doesn't understand. Well, he's a bit shy and doesn't talk to strangers."

"Well that's okay, I wouldn't want to talk to me either if I was his size. May I walk with you?"

Rebecca looked at her father and he smiled and nodded his head before crossing the street to Bayer's Mercantile Shop.

"I don't know why you bother talking to her. She can't understand English, let alone how us proper white folks do stuff around here."

Mr. Murphy and Rebecca turned their gaze to the woman standing in the doorway to Gail's Clothing and Accessories. Miss Emma Sue Francis, Steven's sister, had her arms crossed across her chest and her white blond hair pulled back in a tight bun that she accented with a bright green hat that matched her dress.

"Why Emma Sue, how nice it is to see you out and about. Here I thought a widow wore black for an entire year, instead of a month. I guess I need to brush up on what proper white folks do." Mr. Murphy smiled at Rebecca as they began to walk away together, he turned back to his spiteful sister. "You enjoy this beautiful day." Emma Sue smiled at them, turned and walked away.

Rebecca turned her gaze towards Emma Sue's direction and watched the petite woman argue with the ranch hand as he attempted to help her into her carriage. "You don't help a lady up by shoving on her backside." The rest of her protests went unheard as Rebecca and Steven erupted into laughter.

"It is good to see you laughing Mrs. Donnelly, something I haven't seen you do enough of."

Rebecca sat Acorn down and softly told him to stay by her side. "It feels good to laugh, something I haven't found much reason to do as of late." Rebecca sighed and pulled at her gloves in frustration. "Why didn't you want to escort your sister into town Mr. Murphy?"

"Please, call me Steven."

"Then I must insist you call me Rebecca. I have not gone by Mrs. Donnelly in several years. It seems so strange to me now."

"As you wish, Rebecca. I didn't want to bring my sister into town because I would not have the chance to talk to you as I am doing now. I am very found of you and from the moment I saw you I have been very taken with you. I really would love to get to know you better."

Rebecca blushed and slowed her steps. "I guess I ruined our first meeting when I got sick all over you. I insist that I buy you another pair of boots."

He shook his head in refusal as they continued to walk.

"Steven, I really don't know what to say. It has been so long since I have done this that I don't quite remember what I am supposed to do. There is so much going on with my life right now. Things I don't think you want to be a part of."

Steven pulled Rebecca to the side and into the cool shade from the awning of the barbershop. "Rebecca, I know we just met and really don't know each other, but I feel I have a connection to you. I want to get to know you better, and that includes your son. I know you had problems in your life and living with the Indians is probably something you want to forget, but give me a chance to at least be your friend. I am not asking for any kind of commitment, just a friendly picnic with you and your son. Is that too much to ask for?"

Rebecca stood shocked at Steven's words. He knew that she lived with Indians, and yet he still wanted to be with her. "I guess it wouldn't hurt. It's just that I am not used to someone being so nice to me and my son. Steven I would be pleased to have lunch with you."

"Wonderful! I will be by about 11:30 tomorrow to pick you two up. Make sure you wear riding gear and your son is in play clothes. We are going to have a great afternoon." He leaned over and placed a soft kiss on Rebecca's cheek and ran after his sister. "Emma Sue, please wait, I need a ride." Steven waved once more before disappearing in the covered wagon with his sister.

"Handsome boy, isn't he?"

Rebecca looked at her father and smiled. "Papa, please tell me you had nothing to do with this."

"I can honestly say I did not. I'm not judging or anything Rebecca, but don't mistake kindness for genuine care. Just keep you eyes open and heart on guard. I don't want you to be the wild woman that needs to be tamed."

She nodded her head and followed her father back to the wagon. Rebecca smiled and leaned down to her son to tell him they would be leaving. "I'm ready when you are Papa." They all climbed into the wagon and headed back to the ranch.

Once back at the ranch, the wagon was unloaded by ranch hands quickly and Rebecca and Acorn went inside to change his clothes. Rebecca was standing on the porch when Acorn burst through the front door, his grandmother hollering behind him. Rebecca turned to see what all the commotion was all about and had to hide a smile when she saw her son. He had taken his mothers advice by finding something around the house to wear as play clothes.

Lillian burst through the front door huffing and her face beet red. "Have you seen what your son has done? Look at what he's wearing!"

"Mother, how can anyone not see what he's wearing." Rebecca continued to laugh as her son ran behind her trying to hide from his grandmother.

"Tell him to take them off right now Rebecca. He cannot go out in public wearing my under things!"

Rebecca turned to her son and told him between chuckles that he would have to go change. "Why don't you get your buckskin pants on? I have them in my bedroom under some pillows at the window seat." Rebecca watched the smile on her sons face as he ran back inside with his Grandmother hot on his trail.

"I want you to put them back exactly where you found them. Are you listening to me young man?"

Rebecca chuckled at her mother's words and just shook her head when her father came out onto the porch. "Walk with me Rebecca." She followed her father across the porch and headed toward the East side of the ranch. Her son was following close behind wearing his buckskin pants.

"Rebecca make sure you wear a hat, you don't need that skin of yours to get any more color."

Rebecca waved at her mother as she pulled her bonnet up on her head. "Is this better mother?" Rebecca allowed her son to run as she walked with her father. The warm air blew at Rebecca's face and she pushed her hat off and sighed as the wind blew through her now shoulder length hair. She felt free from her worries as she closed her eyes and inhaled to sweet smell of the summer air.

It wasn't long before they reached a wooded area and Rebecca looked around in disbelief. "Papa I can't believe how overgrown everything is around here. Don't any of the cattle come out this way?"

"The cows tend to stay by the watering hole, no kids running through to scatter them anywhere."

Rebecca saw the smile on her fathers face and nodded. "Well maybe we should get Acorn his own horse and we'll be able to get the cattle back in shape." They chuckled as they walked through the wooded area and Rebecca used the time to quiz Acorn on some of his English. They had just finished saying the alphabet when Rebecca heard her father say they were there. She was speechless as her eyes rested on the huge willow tree that towered over the small pond. "Papa I can't believe how much that tree has grown." Rebecca took her son's hand and walked to the willow tree. "This tree your Grandpa and I planted on my fifth birthday. Gosh Poppa, the last time I saw it, it was half this size." Rebecca walked to the tree and knelt next to it. She smiled at the still visible carvings in its trunk and ran her fingers over it.

"What does it say Momma?" Acorn sat next to his mother and stared up at her with bright green eyes.

"It say's that I love my daddy. It then has the date of when we carved it." Rebecca sniffed and then looked higher up on the tree and saw the carvings from when Kevin proposed to her. "Bec, marry me Kev."

Acorn hooted when he saw some ducks in the water and took off running towards them.

"Does he know about him yet Rebecca?" Matthew watched his daughter trace the letters that were carved into the tree with her finger tips. He cleared his throat and Rebecca flinch.

"No, I just don't know how to tell him. He only knew of White Wolf, Papa. How Do I tell him that he wasn't his father?"

Matthew crouched down and placed his hand on his daughters back. "Sometimes you don't need to say much, but I think you better tell him soon. Elizabeth deserves to see her Grandson Rebecca."

"I know Papa, but things have been so complicated for him. The only life he knew is gone and he has to learn new things and a new way of life. I don't want to burden him with too much at once."

"I understand your worry, but you'll be surprised on how quickly children can adjust. I am a father too you know, I have just as much concern about him as you do. I'm just telling you not to forget that there are other people here that want to be a part of his life. You aren't the only one who loves being with Acorn."

Rebecca looked at her father and saw the softness in his eyes. She stood and her stomach tied in knots as he turned from her and walked out to where Acorn was playing at the water's edge. "I won't forget Papa." She then walked to the waters edge where her son and father were taking off their shoes and rolling up their pant legs. Rebecca joined in and the three spent the remainder of the afternoon playing in the water and chasing ducks and butterflies.

Rebecca was confident enough after her talk with her father, to tell Acorn about Kevin. She knew he would be hurt, and would say hurtful things, but she could not keep Elizabeth from him anymore.

"You say this other man was my father, but I never knew him like that. I do not hate you momma, you did what you had to do. I know I was made from love, and that is what matters."

Rebecca was speechless at her son's words. He welcomed into his life another grandmother and lost another father. The following morning Rebecca woke early to meet with Elizabeth before she opened up her Shoppe. Rebecca had one of the ranch hands drive her into town and thanked them as she stepped onto the dusty boardwalk. "I'll have someone bring me back in, so you don't have to worry. Thanks again Rusty."

Rebecca walked across the boardwalk and walked to the front door of Elizabeth's tailor Shoppe. She knocked on the door and saw Elizabeth quickly open the door to let her in.

"I am going to have Amanda and Patricia run the Shoppe this morning. I don't want us to be interrupted."

Rebecca followed Elizabeth up the steep rounding stairway that led to the small apartment she used for storage.

"Have a seat darlin'. I know it's a bit crowded, but this was the only place I could think of where we could talk and not have to worry about eavesdroppers."

Rebecca sat on the wooden chair that was sitting next to a small café table that had hot tea set up already. "I take it you have some idea on what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Honey, I knew you would be coming around sooner or later. I may be getting up in my age, but I know things about women, especially when it comes to 'talks'."

Rebecca smiled and pulled her gloves off and untied the ribbon that was keeping her hat secured to her head. "I honestly just wanted to see how you were doing. The last time we talked you were quite a mess. I understand it was a shock to hear about Kevin, but I see you are doing better."

"I had an inkling that you both were dead. Not that I knew, I guess I was preparing myself for the worst. Well, enough of that, what do you want to talk about?"

Rebecca looked up at Elizabeth and smiled. She was still a very stunning woman. "I know that it has been awhile, but I finally got the courage to tell Acorn about Kevin. So if you want to spend time with him, he does know you as his grandmother."

"Oh Becca, thank you. I know that things have been hard with him. Kevin was around the same age when I lost my husband. It is very hard to explain things to them we don't even understand."

Rebecca pulled at her fingers and rubbed at her knuckle at an imaginary spot. "I really would like to talk to you about your time with the Dakota's and Strong Bear." Rebecca watched Elizabeth stare off looking at nothing. She had a feeling that maybe it wasn't something she wanted to talk about.

"I never stopped thinking of him. You think after all these years I would have grown up and dismissed my childhood fantasies. I never could though. He was the first man I ever loved and to this day my heart quickens when I think of him."

Rebecca smiled and nodded her head. "What was it like for you? I was never a captive. I was shown kindness and could never image anyone in the village doing anything to harm me."

Elizabeth sighed and shook her head. "It has been close to thirty years since I lived with the Dakota's."

Rebecca reached for Elizabeth and tapped her arm. "It's okay. I understand."

Elizabeth shook her head and wiped the tears that began to fall from her eyes. "Rebecca, it has been over thirty years and I can still remember the smell of sweet grass after a rain and the sounds of the drums beating when the men came back from a hunt."

Rebecca closed her eyes and her mind took her back to the village she called home for over four years. The smell of sweet bread cooking over an open fire and hearing the soft singing of women as the worked on their beadwork.

"Rebecca, I can tell you miss it too." Elizabeth smiled at the look that came over her daughter-in-laws face. "What was his name?"

Rebecca opened her eyes and smiled at Elizabeth. If anyone would understand it would be her. "His name was White Wolf."

Rebecca opened her heart to her mother-in-law and told her everything about her time with the Oglala's. She even told Elizabeth the details of how Kevin was killed and what was done to punish Blue Feather. She explained what Blue Feather had done to her and, as a result was never able to have a child with White Wolf. She knew that if anyone understood what she had been through and what she was going through it would be Elizabeth.

"I don't know how to go on living without him Elizabeth. He was such a large part of my life and trying to put the pieces back together is very hard. How did you get through it?"

"I spent a lot of time alone, but what kept me going was the child I was carrying. I knew I had to stay strong for the child and for Kevin. You will get through this Rebecca. You might think that you won't, but believe me, you will get through this."

Rebecca and Elizabeth finished their tea and talked for a while longer before hunger drove them to get something to eat. "Elizabeth I really should go. Thank you for talking with me. I will make sure Acorn is ready this evening for your visit."

"Oh honey don't worry about that. Get yourself some rest and I will see you later."

The two hugged and Rebecca thanked Elizabeth for talking with her and she left. Just as she walked out onto the boardwalk she spotted Rusty walking toward her. "Rusty, have you been waiting for me all this time?"

"Oh no mam, I came back into town to pick up some feed and thought I'd check to see if you had a ride home yet. Need a lift?"

"Oh Rusty I would love one. Thank you."

When they pulled onto her father's property Rebecca spotted Johnathan sitting on the porch with Acorn. The two were playing a board game and it wasn't until she got out of the wagon that she realized they were playing checkers. "Johnathan I did tell you how it isn't smart to play checkers with Acorn, didn't I?" She looked at the two as she walked up the steps.

"I would believe you, if I wasn't winning. I think this will tie our score if I'm correct." With that he moved his piece one last time and cheered as he won the game. Rebecca laughed and leaned over to hug her son. She kissed his head and ran her fingers through his shoulder length hair as he collected his game and pieces. Rebecca looked at Johnathan and warmth filled her belly. She had missed her brother's company. More than she realized. He made her smile and laugh, something she didn't think would ever be possible again.

"How are you this fine day Rebecca?" Johnathan stood and put his hat on and smiled at his sister.

"I am good. I was in town talking with Elizabeth."

"I enjoyed my time with Acorn. I will return later with Lilly, if she is up to it." He nodded his head toward his sister and walked down the steps to his horse that was nearby.

Rebecca waved goodbye and opened the front door and walked inside. She went to the kitchen and began talking with Colleen, the cook. Acorn sat at the table and began to eat the sandwich Colleen had made for him. "Rebecca, do you think I could speak with you for a moment."

Rebecca looked up to see her mother, and frustration seemed to fill her insides. "Mother, we can talk later, I want to have some time alone with Acorn."

Lillian was visibly irritated by her daughter brushing her off. "Rebecca Ann I want your attention and I want it now,"

Rebecca looked at her mother in shock. "Mother, relax I will talk to you I just wanted to get something to eat."

Lillian huffed and shooed the housekeeper out of the kitchen. "If you want to talk to me with such disrespect you can head back to the wilderness with your heathen baby. But if you want to stay you will talk to me with respect, especially in front of the help. Do you understand?"

Rebecca looked at her mother and nodded her head. Things had not changed a bit. Her mother was still the same self-centered woman she had been when she left.

"Mother, what is so important, that it could not wait?"

"I need to know your plans for the future. I do not want anyone to know that you are having a bastard child."

"Mother that's it!" Rebecca slammed her glass down and pushed away from the table. "You have said enough to me about where I lived the past four years to last a lifetime. I did not choose this life, it just happened. If you should say one more thing to me or my child I will not be responsible for my actions."

Rebecca pushed past her mother and ran directly into her father.

"Becca, are you alright?"

She shook her head and ran up to her bedroom.

Matthew climbed the stairs after his daughter and found her sitting on her bed and went to sit next to her. "What's going on? I know there is something bothering you. Becca you need to talk to me."

Rebecca shook her head and wiped at the new tears that began to fall from her eyes. "I remember when Kevin and I were young. Time seemed to stand still for us, we were so much in love. We took our wedding vows to heart, to love and honor till death do us part." She turned to her father and took his hand into hers. "I was older when I met White Wolf, I knew things would be different this time around. I had Acorn already and knew my life was forever changed by him. He came first and everything else came second. White Wolf and I never talked about our future, we were never sure from day to day if we would see tomorrow. Living out west was dangerous and so immediate. Every choice you made could be life altering. Every moment together was a treasure and we loved so passionately. Everything he did would captivate me, but now I'm bound by the life I left behind. His face haunts my dreams and I can still hear his voice next to me when I sleep."

Matthew stared at Rebecca in amazement. She opened up to him and told him everything yet he was speechless.

"I don't expect you to respond to me Papa, I still love the two men I lost. There is a part of them with me always. Acorn is Kevin through and through, and this child I carry now will be a part of White Wolf. How can anyone want to be with me, when I have so many burdens to carry?"

"I don't believe that Rebecca. Granted the pain you went through losing two husbands is something you live with everyday. I wish I could take it all away with a kiss and hug like I did when you were little. But this is who you are now and you are a stronger person for having to go through it."

Rebecca leaned over and wrapped her arms tightly around her father. "Thank you."

"Hey, let's wipe away these tears. Only happy thoughts today. You have a nice gentleman caller and I get to spoil a new grandchild."

Chapter 29

Laughter and singing filled the front parlor of the McIntyre home as gifts were opened in the early hours of Christmas morning. Since this was Acorn's first Christmas with his grandparents, they had spoiled him. He seemed to have gifts to make up for all the years they had missed. Rebecca and Colleen sat on a sofa together as Rebecca watched the woman carefully open the gift from her.

"Oh Miss Rebecca, it is beautiful. Did you make this yourself?" Colleen held up the leather-fringed shawl that Rebecca made.

"I bought the leather, but everything else I did on my own. It is very easy to do if you ever want me to show you." The two women hugged and Rebecca got up and went to sit on the floor with Acorn who had piles and piles of gifts around him.

"Rebecca you don't need to be down on the cold floor in your condition." Johnathan stood and walked over to Rebecca and held his hand out to help her stand.

Rebecca looked at Johnathan and huffed. "I am only seven months along, I can get around just fine in my condition. Besides it isn't even that cold. In all my days I have never seen a Christmas when it has been so warm out." Rebecca sat on the floor with her son and helped him unwrap his gifts. It wasn't long after they finished that there was a knock at the door. "Who would be coming over on Christmas morning? Papa are you expecting anyone?" Rebecca watched her father as he headed towards the front door.

"I don't know who would be out and about at this hour." When he opened the door he found Steven Murphy.

"Matthew, who's there?" Lillian stepped out onto the porch with her husband expecting to find a drifter of some sorts.

"Mr. Murphy, what a pleasant surprise. Won't you come in?"

"I am sorry for the intrusion, I would like to speak with Rebecca for a moment. If she would find it in her heart to come speak to me." Matthew opened the door and welcomed Steven inside. The two walked into the front parlor where the rest of the family sat.

"Steven, what a pleasant surprise. What brings you out here on Christmas?" Rebecca was helped to stand by her brother and she walked over to Steven. "Why don't we go into the sitting room, Acorn you may continue to open your gifts. I will return shortly." The two walked into the room and Steven played with the brim of his hat.

"You are looking well Rebecca. Your pregnancy suits you."

She smiled and rested her hands over her swollen belly. "Thank you Steven, but I am sure you did not ride out here to tell me this on Christmas." She watched him for a moment and noticed how uneasy he was. Something was wrong. "Steven, what is it?"

"I came to let you know that I will not be calling on you anymore." He paused and his eyes barely looked in her direction. "I see that we are too different and I came to realize that with all you have dealt with I am not the man for you."

Rebecca took a step back from Steven. Although they had enjoyed each other's company since she returned home, he never gave any indications that he wanted their relationship to go further than friends. "I do not understand Steven. What are you telling me?"

He sighed and ran his finger through his short thick hair. "Rebecca, God knows how fond I am of you and your son. You have this strength inside you that shines like the sun. It is no wonder that I fell in love with you so quickly."

Rebecca looked at Steven in shock. He was in love with her? She had no idea he cared for her like that. "I'm sorry Steven. What seems to be the problem, because after what you just told me there isn't one."

"The problem is I would never be to you what you are to me. I look at you and everything is right. I see every day of the rest of my life played out with you by my side. The problem is." He paused and grabbed her hand into his and pressed it softly to his lips. It was then that he looked her into her eyes. "The problem is, that I cannot fool myself any longer. You do not love me, or even care for me in a way that could ever turn into love." He placed a soft kiss on her cheek and stepped back. "Goodbye Rebecca. I wish you well." He placed his hat on his head and left without another word.

Rebecca joined her family in the dining room for breakfast. Her family never asked what Steven wanted and the rest of the day went by with laughter and singing as everyone migrated to the music room after eating, to sing Christmas songs. Rebecca and her brother went outside to sit on the porch and enjoy the unseasonably warm weather. Rebecca leaned back on the porch swing and rested her head on the back of the swing. A cool breeze blew as rain poured down from the sky. Rebecca smiled and turned to her brother. "Lilly seems to be doing well. I am pleased she and Acorn can play together now."

John smiled and laced his fingers behind his head. Rebecca placed her hand on her swollen stomach to a spot she could always feel the baby move. She smiled and reached for Johnathan's hand to place it on her stomach. He smiled and then an odd look crossed his face and he suddenly excused himself and went inside.

"Stupid move Becca. He doesn't need to be reminded of what he is missing, now that his wife is dead." She sighed and placed her hands across her swollen stomach. Rebecca listened to the rain as she slowly rocked herself on the swing. She was still carrying White Wolf's child and she couldn't begin to understand why. This child was all she had left of him and was grateful that the curse seemed to be broken. She would always have a part of White Wolf with her, proof that what they shared was real. Her heart still pained for him, yet she vowed to keep it her secret. Just as she stood to go back inside she heard the hoot of an owl. Knowing it was unusual to hear one in the daytime she walked to the edge of the porch and peered out toward the cluster of trees that lined her father's property on the west side. A cold chill ran up her spine when she saw what appeared to be a man standing among the trees. She heard the owl hoot again and her knees gave out before she collapsed to the ground.

"Rebecca, Rebecca wake up." Matthew leaned over his daughter as she lay on the sofa in the front parlor. His heart had nearly stopped when he found her unconscious on the front porch. He had picked her up and carried her inside and the entire family was huddled around her in concern. "Rebecca, can you hear me? Please, sweetheart wake up."

Rebecca slowly opened her eyes and saw her father hovering over her. "What happened?" Her head was throbbing and she wasn't sure if she was dreaming or not.

"I found you unconscious on the front porch. What happened? Did you get sick or something?"

Rebecca sat up and memories flooded back to her. She anxiously looked around for her son and then grabbed her father's hand. "Someone was out there. A man was standing among the trees."

Matthew and Johnathan looked at each other with concern. A few weeks ago they noticed a drifter in town who voiced his opinion quite openly about Rebecca having a breed son. He had harassed her on several occasions, which made the two men think he might have come after Rebecca and Acorn. "Lillian, would you be a dear and help Rebecca up to bed? I will get Acorn out of the kitchen and send him upstairs. Johnathan and I will go outside and check around to see if we can find anything." Johnathan nodded to his father and the two men went to investigate.

Rebecca watched the two men leave and her mother helped Rebecca upstairs. Acorn showed up shortly after they reached the bedroom and sat down on the soft full bed. "Mother, I would really like to be alone with Acorn for right now. You don't mind do you?"

Lillian looked at her daughter and then to her grandson. Concern was evident on her face, but she knew Rebecca was safe. "I will be downstairs if you need anything."

"Thank you mother." Rebecca watched her mother leave and then called Acorn over to her as she walked to the window. "Will you sit with me and watch the rain, Acorn?" Rebecca pulled her son onto her knee and they leaned back as she began to rock. They watched the rain until darkness fell and then she heard someone enter the bedroom. Rebecca turned to see her father and he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on Acorn's head. "We searched the woods all around the property and didn't find anything. Not even a footprint. Are you sure you saw someone?"

"I don't know anymore, Papa, but I could have sworn I saw someone out there."

"Well there was no one there now. I don't know what to tell you, but consider yourself safe. Since Acorn is asleep, maybe you should lay down too. You need the rest as much as he does." Matthew carefully picked Acorn up and laid him in the bed and Rebecca climbed in next to him. "I will come check on you two in a few hours. Get some rest." He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and he left the room, closing the door behind him. Rebecca cuddled up next to Acorn and was soon asleep.

A cool draft drifted into the bedroom and woke Rebecca from her slumber. The room was dark except for a dim light that filtered in from the doorway. She stretched her weary muscles and looked out the dark window at the rain hitting the glass. Acorn was gone, and she figured he went downstairs to play with some of his new toys. Rebecca curled up on her side and laid her hand on her swollen stomach. "Just feeling you move inside me makes me grateful for the miracle you are. Every moment of everyday I am reminded of your father. I still love him so much." Rebecca sighed and sat up in bed. She stood and swayed to the doorway. She walked out in the hallway and toward the noise of laughter below.

Inside the bedroom, a figure stepped out from a dark corner and walked to the bed. A man knelt next to it and gently touched the still warm blankets. He pulled them toward him and inhaled. Her scent still clung to the fabric and he clenched his fists and fought the urge to go after her. He knew the life she lived before no longer existed for her. He was a part of her past, a choice he wasn't sure if he could live with. How could she not know how much he loved her? He had promised to come for her, he thought she would wait. He closed his eyes at the memory of her swollen belly. The white man was able to give her what he could not, a child. He stood and walked to the doorway and listened to the singing and laughter below. How did she not know he was here? He had done everything in his power to be with her. He had even fought death.

Chapter 30

Rebecca laid in her bed on a cold January morning enjoying the afterglow of a wonderful dream. Her skin still tingled from the touch of her lover. It had seemed so real that she found it difficult to venture out of bed. She sat up when she heard a knock at her door. A soft voice asked to come in and Rebecca answered her son cheerfully. "Come in Acorn."

Acorn burst into the room and raced past the bed to the window. "Momma, it's snowing! Hurry, Hurry, come see Momma." Acorn came and left in what seemed like a blur.

Rebecca slowly sat on the edge of the bed and soon another head popped in. "Hey Becca. You don't mind Acorn joining Lilly outside do you?"

"No, he is already downstairs. You going out with them?"

Johnathan smiled, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Yeah, Lilly wants to build a snow fort." He laughed and closed the door behind him. A few minutes later she could hear the laughter from the children outside her window. She lowered her hands to her swollen belly and smiled. She was weeks away from her delivery and she still had no issues with her pregnancy. The curse was finally broken. White Wolf would have loved this child. It pained her that he would never see the child.

Rebecca curled on her side and watched the snowfall. Slowly her eyes drifted closed and she floated off to sleep. A gentle touch ran across her bare arm and soft words were whispered in her ear. Rebecca smiled at the familiar Lakota words. "My mouth cannot speak the words of my heart."

Her body heated at White Wolf's words, and she sighed as she waited for his touch. Her breath caught as she felt him trail kisses across her neck and down her back. She had forgotten how tender his touch was and wanted to remain in her dream with her husband. "Oh, White Wolf, my heart." Rebecca spoke her words in Lakota and turned to embrace White Wolf. Her eyes flashed open and she glanced around the room. Her heart was racing and she was breathing heavy. It all had felt so real and yet she knew she was just having another dream. Rebecca looked around the room and pulled her blankets up to cover herself. She shook her head, got out of bed and pulled on her robe as she walked to her dressing room.

Rebecca swallowed her tears and cleared her throat. She promised herself that with this New Year she would not dwell on the past. White Wolf was gone and she was married to a sweet, adoring man that would do anything for her. But her heart still felt like it was not whole. Maybe if she had more time to mourn his death or could visit his grave, things would be easier. Who was she kidding? Life without White Wolf would never be easy. She gently caressed her swollen stomach and tears began to blur her vision. "I will never deny you the truth about your father. I want you to be proud of who you are." Rebecca slumped in a chair as she buried her face in her hands and cried.

Her tears abruptly stopped when a crash came from inside one of her dressing cupboards. It took a few minutes for her to catch her breath, and her heart was pounding in her ears. She slowly walked to the cupboard and wasn't sure what to expect. She was hoping that Acorn was not hiding another wounded animal in her clothes again. She slowly walked toward the partially opened door. Light shone into the dark cupboard and she saw a man's hand. Her hand flew to her mouth to muffle her scream and everything went black.

Rebecca slowly awoke to the gentle caressing on her face. She opened her eyes to find Acorn looking at her with concern on his face.

"Momma, are you ill? Should I get Uncle John?"

Rebecca sat up and leaned against the headboard. "No, I'm fine." Rebecca took a look around the room and then back to Acorn. "I am going to get dressed. Are you still playing with Lilly in the snow?"

He smiled and nodded his head.

"I will be down shortly. You go any play."

Rebecca got dressed and joined her brother who was sitting in the front parlor watching the kids play in the snow.

"Hey Becca, how about a ride around the property? You need some fresh air and I think Lilly and Acorn won't miss us. They are too busy playing."

"That sounds wonderful, thank you Johnny."

Acorn and Lilly were playing in the snow and waved at their parents as they settled into the sled. "Acorn stay close to the house. Uncle John and I will be back shortly." The sled gave another jerk and then they glided across the snow with little effort from the horse. The air was cold against Rebecca's face and in no time her face was bright red. She pulled herself closer to her brother's warm side. Johnathan steered the horse around the back of their property and threaded through some trees that were thick in some parts. Rebecca laid her head on her brother's shoulder and stared out to the passing trees. Her eyes drifted closed and she listened to the soft swooshing the sled made as it slid through the snow. "This was a good idea. Thanks for getting me out of the house Johnny." Rebecca opened her eyes and saw that Johnathan was slowing the horse down.

"What's wrong?"

Johnathan pulled the brake and stepped out of the sled. "I think I see something. Wait here a moment Becca."

She watched her brother walk through the deep snow drifts toward a cluster of trees. He paused a moment then came back.

"I thought I saw someone, but it must have been an animal." He setteled himself back in the sled. "Okay, lets head back."

Rebecca pulled the blanket up around her and waited for the sled to jolt forward. "Johnny, what's wrong?" Her blood ran cold when she saw the glint of steel against her brothers throat. She quickly grabbed at his hand and squeezed. She saw the fear in his eyes and she knew he was afraid for her more than anything. Her voice didn't sound as brave as she wanted when she spoke. "Who are you? What do you want from us?"

"I have come for my revenge." The man's voice was harsh and she flinched when he spoke. He was speaking Lakota. His face was concealed by shadow from his hood and wore dark leather gloves. How would this man know she could understand him?

"Stand and come with me." The glint of metal reflected off of the bright white snow and Rebecca's heart raced in her chest as she realized the man held a gun in his other hand. She slowly stood as quickly as her state would allow. "Please don't hurt us." "Shut your mouth!" The hooded man pulled the knife closer to Johnathan's neck and a small trickle of blood began to trail down his throat. Rebecca was shaking so much she wasn't sure if it was from the cold or from her fear. The man turned quickly to her and squeezed her chin in his strong grasp. He turned her face to look at her profile and then snickered.

"You do your best to listen and keep your mouth shut." He gave her a shove and she stumbled forward. She regained her balance and turned back to see Johnathan on his back and blood pooling from the gaping wound at his throat. The man nodded his head forward and she took careful unsteady steps in the deep snow. Rebecca was numb. She had just witnessed her brother being murdered. Poor Lilly, she was now an orphan. Would Acorn end up the same way? They walked for what seemed forever, as the temperature began to drop and the wind picked up. Snow began to fall again and Rebecca watched their tracks quickly disappear under the new fallen snow.

Her mind raced with trying to figure out who her kidnapper was. Could it be a drifter that had been around town? Her feet were quickly becoming numb and she struggled with her balance in the deep snow. Just when she was going to sit in the snow and refuse to move another inch they stopped. "Move your feet woman or I will slit your throat and leave you for the wolves."

Rebecca walked around a cluster of trees and was surprised to find a small cabin. She exhaled in a huff and rubbed her frozen nose with the back of her sleeve. She was directed to walk inside. The door slammed behind her and Rebecca slowly walked to the fire and stood. Her toes were numb and she was sure they were frostbitten. Her back was sore from the walking and tears silently rolled down her face at her uncertain future. She slowly sat on the dirt-covered ground. The fire was a welcomed distraction as she did her best to warm her frozen hands and feet. She fought with her mind as the pains in her lower back increased and were now climbing across her abdomen.

She carefully placed her hand on her swollen stomach and felt the hardness begin to fade as her breathing returned to normal. Dear God, was she in labor? Of all the time and places for this to happen, she had to do it when she was kidnapped by a raving lunatic. She raised her knees up to her chest and rested her arms on her knees. She was scared for her life and that of her unborn child. "Oh White Wolf, how I miss you so."

"And I you my heart."

Rebecca's heart jumped in her chest as she turned around to the familiar voice and scanned the small cabin. There was limited light offered from the fire and she could not see further than a few feet. Her heart was racing and she carefully got on her hands and knees and after a few attempts stood. "White Wolf?" Her voice was barely a whisper as she spoke the name of her dead husband.

"Yes mi chante, my heart. I am here. Come to me."

Rebecca took a few hesitant steps toward the voice and then stopped. She must be delirious from the walk and is hearing things. There was no way she just heard White Wolf. Her stomach tightened again and she paused before walking again. She reached the shadow in the corner and waited for her eyes to adjust. After what felt like agonizing minutes a form huddled in the corner came into focus. "Oh my Lord, White Wolf?" Her knees gave way and she covered her mouth to muffle the screams as she found her husband's bloody, beaten body tied up to a support beam. "You are alive! But how, I saw you die?" She crawled to him and hesitantly reached for him, unsure if he would vanish at her touch.

"I thought I had died, for I felt my life leave my body. When I opened my eyes again I found myself in Shadow Dreamers dwelling. My recovery was painful and long. The moment I was strong enough I came for you."

Rebecca closed her eyes and rested her forehead against his. She gently rubbed her nose against his and laid her hands gently on his chest. He was warm under her touch and she exhaled at the thought of the happiness she felt. "White Wolf, who has done this to you?" She leaned back and reached for the thick rope that was wrapped around his wrists. She struggled with the knot and leaned over to use her teeth on the rope.

"I am so sorry to say this my heart, but it is my brother Blue Feather. He has found us both."

Rebecca's hands paused for a moment from the knot and then continued. "I will have these knots undone in a moment. Then we can leave here."

"Fire Dove listen to me."

Rebecca paused again at the name she had not been called in close to a year. She slowly turned to White Wolf. "Yes, mi chante."

"You must leave here. There is a horse behind the cabin. You must get it and leave here. I do not know how long it will be before he returns, so you must make haste."

Rebecca took a few deep breaths as another contraction came and went. She looked White Wolf in the eye and spoke with all the strength she could muster. "I will not go. The last time I left you it almost destroyed me. I cannot bear to do it again. If I am to leave this cabin, you will be leaving with me or we will die here together."

White Wolf lowered his head in defeat. He had tried to save her, tried to keep her safe, but one thing he had not counted on was her refusal to leave him. He felt her warm hands on his face and he looked up at his wife. Her face was fuller than the last time he saw her, her cheeks were flushed and she had tears running down her face. She fought with the ropes and suddenly his hands were free.

"I will not walk away from you again. You must stay strong for me. For us." She took White Wolfs hand and placed it on her swollen abdomen. Her contractions were steady now and she knew that if they did not get help soon, she would be delivering this baby here. Bile rose in her throat and the thought of Blue Feather. Would he kill her child as well? She would not put anything past him.

"This child you carry. . ." He paused and spread his fingers across her hardening stomach. She placed her hand over his and nodded.

"Yes, this is your child White Wolf. Our child and soon too." She sucked in a breath and squeezed her eyes shut. The pain was increasing and she fought to keep from crying out.

White Wolf held her hand until she relaxed again and then lifted her chin to look at him. "How, my heart? How were you successful in carrying our child?"

She lowered her eyes and bit her bottom lip. "I do not know. I think maybe because I thought you were dead? Or maybe the distance from each other lessened the strength of the curse. I do not care White Wolf, I just want to get out of here and away from your brother."

White Wolf stood and left her side for a few moments. Rebecca knelt on the floor for a few moments and then was able to stand. He returned to her side and covered her with a thin, wool blanket. "We must hurry. I do not know how long my brother will be gone. Do you think you can ride?"

"I will try, but I will need your help." White Wolf wrapped his arm around her and braced themselves as they walked to the door and outside to the cold and blowing snow. The snow was falling heavily and their tracks were quickly covered as they made their way to the back of the cabin where a lean-to supported a horse. After a few attempts Rebecca was able to mount the horse. White Wolf guided the horse out and they headed away from the secluded cabin. She pulled the thin wool blanket around her shoulders and looked at White Wolf as he walked slowly in only a buckskin shirt and long pants. Her contractions continued, but thankfully they did not increase or become more intense. After several moments they reached a clearing and Rebecca directed White Wolf to head toward her parents ranch. She huddled against the cold, freezing wind and saw White Wolf trek through the deep snow. His steps were unsteady and she knew he was fighting to keep upright. She didn't know the damage that was inflicted upon him from the beating by his brother. Rebecca was still in shock that he was alive. The months that went by where she thought he was dead. The achy loneliness she had endured, day after day. But he was here, they were together. Her heart quickened at the life they were able to share and now a child.

Rebecca felt her contractions continue with increasing intensity. As the time slowly ticked away she saw the fence for the gate opening to her parent's ranch. The snow was blowing so much that she could not see very far and hoped they would not lose their way when they were so close to help. Suddenly a sharp pain ripped across her left side and she bent over and screamed into her fist. She could not distract White Wolf now, he had to get them to safety. Rebecca concentrated on her breathing and when the horse stopped she looked up to see they had made it to her parent's ranch. White Wolf came over to help her down and she moaned loudly as the pain in her side increased.

"What is it? Is it the child?"

Rebecca was unable to respond as another contraction ripped across her abdomen. She nodded her head and reached for White Wolf's arm. When he helped her down, the pain in her side increased. Something much different than birthing pains tore at her side and she collapsed in the snow.

"Fire Dove, my heart, what is wrong?"

Rebecca was on the verge of tears and struggled to speak. "My side. There is a pain." She squeezed her eyes shut, her hands going numb in the snow drift she had fallen in. White Wolf knelt next to her and reached around her to help her up. He stopped suddenly, stood and quickly pulled back the blanket she was using to keep herself warm. "Oh, my beautiful love, no. Not you, not you!"

R ebecca leaned down to see the bright crimson snow growing around her. Where was all the blood coming from. Before she got a chance to ponder the thought, White Wolf had picked her up in his arms and carried her up the snow covered steps and kicked at the door to her parent's house. She was becoming weak and holding her head up was becoming increasingly hard. Why was she so tired and weak all of a sudden?

Chapter 31

A pounding at the front door jolted Lillian awake. She rolled toward Matthew and shook him. "Matthew, there is someone at the door." He grumbled at her, rolled over and fell back to sleep. Lillian sat up and grabbed her nightgown and robe. She should know better than to try and wake Matthew right after they had made love. She shoved at him, quickly dressed and walked downstairs. When she opened the door she was surprised to see a dark stranger with Rebecca in his arms. "Rebecca, dear Lord, what are you doing? Where is your brother?"

"Mother, we need your help. Please call for Lilly and Acorn to come inside. It's my time." Rebecca's voice was barely a whisper and Lillian had to strain to hear her over the blowing wind.

Lillian stepped aside to allow the man holding Rebecca in. She called for Colleen and turned to shut the door, but stopped. "Rebecca, who is this with you? Do you know him?"

Rebecca was squeezing her eyes shut. Her contractions were getting stronger and closer together and it was becoming more difficult for her to speak. "Mother, this is White Wolf, he is who I married while with the Lakota."

"Rebecca, I thought he was dead. You told me he was dead! What is going on here?" Lillian looked at the frightening man and watched as he stood staring at her with her daughter in his arms. She took a few steps back when she heard Rebecca speak to him in that strange language she sometimes heard her speak with her grandson.

"Mother, it is a very long story and I don't have the strength to explain it to you. I'm in labor and we need Dr. Evans." She turned to White Wolf and nodded at the stairs. She watched as her daughter was carried upstairs and she quickly ran up behind them. "Put her in her room." She watched Colleen open the door and Rebecca was laid on the bed.

"She has lost a lot of blood. We need something to stop the bleeding." White Wolf began to unwrap the blanket from around Rebecca and he never paused when he heard Rebecca's mother scream.

"Rebecca, Oh my precious baby. What have you done to her?" She pulled at the arm of White Wolf and pointed to the arrow protruding from her daughter's side.

Rebecca laying down on her back was finally able to look at her side to see what was causing the pain to her side. She was shocked to see a long arrow embedded deep into her left side. "White Wolf, oh God, the baby!" Her body shook with tears and she fought to control the shaking that was trembling through her body.

"Hush my heart. We will get the arrow out and you will deliver the child. It will be alright." He turned and looked at Rebecca's mother. "We need blankets and a very sharp knife." The woman made a high pitched squeak and quickly left the room.

White Wolf began to tear away at the dress and undergarments that was bound around his wife. Once she was free from the bindings he laid a blanket over Rebecca and kissed her sweaty forehead. Her body was chilled and pale and the amount of blood she had lost made him very worried. The women returned with the blankets and the knife. He examined it and then walked over to the fire that the other woman had started. He held it into the flames until it began to glow red. He walked back to Rebecca's and the basin of water that had been placed next to the bed. He laid the knife in the basin of water and listened to it sizzle as it cooled. "White Wolf, you must save the baby. I don't care what happens to me, but you must save our child."

"Hush mi chante. Do not talk of dying. You and the child will be fine. I will not lie to you though, this will be very painful."

Rebecca nodded her head and slowly rolled on her right side. She could see her mother standing in the doorway and reached her hand out for her. Her mother took the few steps to her bedside and knelt next to the bed and clutched her hand into hers. "I am here baby. It will be okay." Rebecca nodded her head as another contraction claimed her and she squeezed her eyes shut tight at White Wolfs words.

"I will cut at your skin at your next contraction, then I will attempt to pull the arrow free."

Rebecca nodded her head and took a deep breath when her next contraction came. She barely felt anything but the intense pain that tightened across her stomach. When she felt the relaxing of her muscles she exhaled deeply, but screamed into her fist when she felt the ripping pain at her side.

"It is out. I got it out. You can relax now." White Wolf leaned over and placed a long kiss on his wife's sweaty brow. Her skin was pale and he didn't like the dark circles that hung under her eyes. He knew that she would need her strength to deliver their child, and he was unsure she would have it.

Rebecca weakly sighed at her husband and felt herself being moved onto her back. She heard her mother shouting things to Colleen and just stared at his face. She reached for him and he grabbed her hand and placed it to his warm face. She stared at him, examining his features. She explored every line and scar. The tiny wrinkles she could see at the corner of his eyes when he smiled, the small bump on the ridge of his nose where it had been broken when he was a teen, and his lips. She traced her thumb across the fullness of his dark pink lips. "God I will miss these the most." White Wolf leaned forward and kissed her softly on her lips and she sighed when she felt the wetness from his tears on her face. She felt pressure on her side as Colleen applied a bandage to her side where the arrow was removed.

"Rebecca the baby is almost here. I need you to dig down and find the strength to push." Colleen's voice was stern and demanding. She knew it would take more strength then Rebecca had left to push the baby out.

Rebecca nodded her head and got up on her elbows. She turned to White Wolf and shouted when she saw her mother grab his arm. "Mother what are you doing?"

"Rebecca, birthing is no place for a man to be. This is women's work. He can wait outside." She pulled again at White Wolf urging him toward the door.

"Mother he stays. I need him and I will not do it without him." Her mother sighed and let go of White Wolf. He took his place next to Rebecca and with the next few moments she struggled to push the baby from her body. Time seemed to blend together and she became delirious with pain and the loss of blood. When she felt she had nothing left to give and screamed with her last push she heard cheering and finally the contractions subsided.

"It's a girl! Oh my God Rebecca, look how big she is?"

Rebecca slouched back onto the bed and she began to cry as she watched her mother clean her daughter. "Look at her White Wolf. Make sure she is okay."

She watched as her husband carefully looked over their daughter. He laid her next to her on the bed and they both stared down at the life they had created together. "I cannot believe how much hair she has, and it is so dark."

"Dark like a Raven's wing."

Rebecca looked over at her husband. "Yes, I like that. Let's call her Raven." She leaned over and placed a soft kiss on her daughter's head and laid back exhausted. "White Wolf my side pain's me still. I am not sure if the contractions masked the true pain, but there is a burning." She pointed to her side and White Wolf handed his daughter off to Fire Dove's mother and he pulled back her gown. There was a sharp intake of breath and she turned her head when she heard him muffle a cry. "White Wolf what is it?" She looked down at the bandage and it was soaked with blood.

"There is too much blood. Maybe it will need to be stitched." White Wolf carefully pulled the dressing away from her wound and saw a black creamy discharge coming from it. He shook his head, this was not supposed to happen.

"White Wolf, what is wrong?"

"It is poison my heart. My brother put poison on the tip of the arrow he used on you."

Rebecca looked down at her wound and the edges were bright red and angry. "What kind of poison White Wolf?" She waited for his response and when she heard nothing she looked over to him. "What kind of poison?"

His voice was soft and she heard pain in his voice as he spoke. "It is deadly mi chante." He leaned forward and they wrapped their arms tightly around each other. Tears began to fall from their eyes and they clung to each other like they were each other's lifeline.

The pain in her side grew with each breath she took. A heat began to follow it and Rebecca began to squirm under the intensity. This couldn't be the end. She was finally with her love again and now it was being ripped from her grasp. "White Wolf, hold me."

"I am holding you my heart. Can you not feel me?"

"Hold me tighter, never let me go. For I will keep you with me for an eternity." She could barely feel his arms around her and she fought with the burning pain that began to intensify across her stomach and chest. "I don't want it to end like this. We were meant to love much longer than the time we were given." She was taking quick shallow breaths and her air felt as it was being sucked from her lungs. "Find me again White Wolf." She coughed and slowly licked her dry lips. "Find me, no matter where or when in time. You find me. I will wait for you." She arched her back up as she screamed through her clenched teeth. Her insides felt like they were on fire and she held onto White Wolf's hand as tight as she could. She hoped that if she held tight enough, it would keep her anchored to him.

White Wolf leaned close to her and rested his head next to hers. "If you must die, know that you, were the best part of my life."

The pain was indescribable and with her last bit of strength she screamed. She cried out for the children she would not see grow and for the loss of her lover and husband and she screamed for the life she was losing a hold of.

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