For all of you who don't know, this is what REALLY happened at the Hogwarts feast in The Order of the Phoenix. Rowling twisted it a bit to make the characters look less stupid. It takes place during Book 5.
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I don't own Harry Potter. Shocking, isn't it?
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How the Story Really Goes
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"THIS IS SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!" Harry yelled, eating some cake. he stuffed some chicken into his mouth. "OH MY GOSH! THIS IS GOOD, TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he said with his mouth full, smiling like the idiot he is.
"Um, welcome to the... uh, I forgot my line... oh, yeah. HOGWARTS FEAST!!!!!!" yelled Dumbledore.
"I got an A+ and you DIDN'T SO HA!!!!!!" yelled Hermione at Ron.
"But a D- is a good grade..." sobbed Ron.
"AHEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" coughed Umbridge.
Everything and every sound stopped.
"Oh, sorry. McGonigal, could I have a cough drop?" asked Umbrige, facing McGonigal. "Oh, yeah," remembered Umbrige aloud. I also have an announcement to make ot the school."
It was quiet. Yay.
Umbrige took a deep breath in. "IN DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS CLASS, WE'RE LEARNING HOW TO DEFEND AGAINST THE MOST EVIL THING IN THE WORLD--- WHINNIE THE POOH!" she yelled, sat down, and then smiled.
Albus Dumbledore stood up "Yeah, whatever. Anyway, do you like cheese? Because I like cheese!" he sat back down, looking proud of himself.
McGonigal stood up. "I'm a big kid now! I wear Pull-ups!" she grinned and stayed there, waiting for applause, but was pushed over by Professor Trelawney.
"I foresee... many, many PIECES OF FRENCH TOAST!"
Dumbledore got up "NO! NOT FRENCH TOAST! CHEESE!!!!!"
"French toast!"
"Cheese!"
"French toast!"
"Cheese!"
"Do they do this regularly?" wondered Hagrid aloud.
"Time for the Hogwarts Song! By me, the sorting hat!
"I love you,
"You love me,
"We're a happy family!
"With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you,
"Won't you say you love me, too!"
"I LOVE YOU!" Ron cheered.
Cho Chang decided to angst. "Oh, Cedric, WHY did you have to die!" she sobbed, but had no time to do any more angsting, because Ron squirted her with his mustard.
Hermione opened her mouth wide, showing her large buck teeth. "That's not very nice!" she told Ron.
"Well, Crookshanks isn't very nice, either!" argued Ron.
"NOTHING MATTERS BECAUSE I LIKE CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!" Dumbledore grinned while being smashed into the wall by Trelawney-the-french-toast-fan.
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Yup. That's the end.
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