A/N: Well...howdy Miraculous Ladybug fandom it's me again. Ready to read the most life ruining thing you'll ever read? You're going to have to. I hope y'all watched the Volpina episode before reading this. If not you should turn back now.
At that moment, all the irons were being thrown into the fire.
Oh. Is this the wrong fandom? Sorry, I got carried away again.
Nah, I'm kidding. I know perfectly well this is supposed to be Miraculous Ladybug. I'm just too lazy to give the actual exposition. I'll get that started right ow if you really want me to.
Lila *IT'S VOLPINA* fiiiiine. Volpina, was being a jealous sack of shit over Ladybug, likewise for Ladybug. The cringe worthy worded (evilized) girl was failing at flirting with the pretty boy model Adrien, while Ladybug watched from the window in a very Spiderman-like position.
Ladybug wondered where Cat Noir could possibly be in such a dire, complicated situation. They needed to free Volpina from Hawk Moth's control and save Paris again. Most importantly of all get this bitch ass how away from her man Adrien. It was bad enough Chloe was constantly hanging off the most beautiful boy in the universe, now she had to deal with THIS!
Ladybug was not paid enough for this shit. She wasn't even paid at all!
"You know what. Screw this." Ladybug said, not bothering to follow the actual episode's script any longer. She jumped through the window and did an acrobatic fucking pirouette into the bedroom of her one true love, surprising both Adrien and Volpina.
"See what I mean! She's jealous of me. Of you. Of us." Volpina said to Adrien.
You bet your weird-ass looking hair she's jealous of you, mate. Why the hell did you think she did this in the first place? For fun? Did you really think she liked destroying the feeling of random people. If you did you're a bigger asshole than I thought you were.
While Volpina and Ladybug continued their argument to ultimate doucheassery, Adrien slipped away to transform again. Some pointless bickering between him and Plagg happened and I don't really feel like typing that out either. We just need to get through this stuff in the most simple way possible so I can get to the actual good stuff.
Oh hey look Cat Noir's back. Great.
Oh no Volpina took a fake Adrien shit man this is getting real as fuck.
"That isn't the real Adrien." Cat Noir said.
"How do you know?" Ladybug yelled.
Fuck man because I AM Adrien. Cat Noir thought, but did not say because of that stupid superheros must keep their identities secret bullshit rule Stan Lee came up with.
"No reason." he ended up saying, sounding like an idiot.
Ladybug continued to flip the fuck out, and went off to follow Volpina. Cat Noir soon followed suit, but not after mumbling about not trying to get out of this.
Volpina dangled the fake Adrien from the top of the Eiffel Tower, laughing menacingly. This laugh was completely unnecessary because neither Ladybug or Cat Noir could hear her. She couldn't wait to completely destroy the two superheros.
Oh wait that Volpina is also fake. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
All three teenagers were standing on the top of the Eiffel Tower, ready to perform a not very dangerous 3x Combo Showdown. Volpina smirked, ready to create another bombardment of fake Volpinas.
However this attack was interrupted by a bright red light shining down on Paris. The three very surprised teens could only watch as the sky spit out a girl and a boy. The first thing they noticed was the girl was also in a Ladybug suit. This one, however, had a green swoop of hair along with the rest of her black hair. (Think of Markiplier mixed with emo Jon Snow hair) Sun glasses lay on top of her Ladybug mask, but other than that nothing else was too different, from what they could tell from the way she lay on the ground.
The boy was in a Cat Noir suit, much like how this new girl was in a Ladybug suit. He too had black hair and glasses, but he looked more like a douchebag than the other Cat Noir. They were also sure that these to new heroes were older. (So there was something else about her they knew.)
The other Ladybug groaned quietly, picking herself up from the ground. She turned her head to her Cat Noir, leaving her expression unreadable to the three others. However, I know what she looks and, and she is pissed.
"Get up." she said, nudging him with her foot.
"No." her Cat Noir said.
"Get. Up." she said, more sternly.
"Ask nicely and I might." her Cat Noir replied.
She glared at him, with the fires of a million suns burning in her eyes. She was ready to unleash ultimate pain on this insufferable prick. Now, of course, was not the time for that at all.
In the lost elegant words she could muster, green Ladybug said, "Get the fuck up, you lazy piece of shit."
Ladybug's jaw dropped hearing wither an older version of herself, or a future Ladybug saying something like that to Cat Noir. Sure she was firm on her rejections but she would never say something as horrible as that to Cat Noir. This green haired one was merciless. Why would she be chosen over anyone else?
"My lady, how you wound me." black haired Cat Noir, jokingly sighed, standing up.
"Shut up. As if you didn't fucking expect that." green Ladybug replied.
The 'real' Cat Noir leaned in towards Ladybug slowly and whispered, "Is that also an illusion?"
"I don't know." Ladybug whispered back.
She threw her yoyo at the other Ladybug, who got smacked in the face. The new Ladybug yelled in pain, holding her jaw. That was going to leave a bruise later.
"What the fuck man?! That fucking hurts!" the other Ladybug yelled.
Marinette leaned towards Adrien the same way he did before, and whispered, "It's not an illusion."
When it finally registered in the other Ladybug and Cat Noir that they were staring at the Marinette and Adrien Ladybug and Cat Noir, their expression became more civil and exchanged words of apprehension.
"Time shenanigans?" Future Cat Noir suggested.
"Time shenanigans." Future Ladybug confirmed.
/
Meanwhile, Hawk Moth felt the two future superheros presence with Volpina and smirked. This was finally his chance to get their Miraculouses. With two Ladybugs and two cat Noirs it would be impossible for him to not get them. At this point it probably didn't natter which one it came from, it was the same Miraculous after all.
Hawk Moth turned around, and walked out of his secret lair. Volpina would need some assistance gaining their Miraculouses.
/
"I am NOT wasting my Lucky Charm and risking you seeing my normal self on something that doesn't concern us!" Future Ladybug sternly said again to Future Cat Noir.
"Don't you think the past version of ourselves need us?" Future Cat Noir asked. "Why else would we be here?"
"We literally just confirmed it was Time shenanigans." Future Ladybug yelled exasperated.
Ladybug and Cat Noir were busy fighting Volpina, ignoring the bantering that was happening below them. They were actually trying to do something. On a side note, they also wondered how Future Ladybug and Cat Noir got anything done with the vast amount of arguing they did.
The Ladybug fighting Volpina, decided to use her Lucky Charm and ignore the two Future heroes, like wise with Cat Noir and his Cataclysm. (A/N: Oh my fucking god I JUST got the joke...) Ladybug blinded Volpina with a chocolate Popsicle (fucking WHAT?!) letting Cat Noir know which Volpina was the real Volpina.
Right as Ladybug was about to purify Volpina's akuma...HAWK MOTH SHOWED UP! DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN!
"Oh man shit's about to go down." Future Ladybug said.
"Give me your Miraculouses!" Hawk Moth angrily said.
"No. Give me YOUR Miraculous!" Future Ladybug replied, in the true teenage fashion of the girl.
BEEP BEEP MOTHERFUCKERS! Oh no! Cat Noir and Ladybug's Miraculouses are going to go off soon! Good thing Volpina is trapped and can't do shit.
"Mwahaha your identities will be revealed soon! Then you'll be able to do nothing! Mwahahahahaha!" Hawk Moth laughed.
"Shut the fuck up Hawk Moth!" Future Ladybug yelled.
Future Cat Noir internally face palmed, reverting to his usual personality around the civilian version of Future Ladybug.
MOTHERFUCKING BEEP!
With the beep of the Miraculouses, people started fighting, people started arguing and Volpina wondered what the fuck was going on and why no one was trying to purify the akuma.
She made the motion to throw her flute at Future Ladybug, only to be threatened by Future Cat Noir, who had a shitty sword for some reason.
*cough Weeb*
"Hey other Ladybug and Cat Noir, a little help please!" Cat Noir yelled.
The Future Miraculous holders looked at each other, contemplating just cutting his hand to bits so there would be no more Miraculouses but then remembered they would create a time paradox. Well a bigger one then already.
"Fiiiiine." Future Ladybug complained, grabbing Future Cat Noir's weird staff thing.
"Hey don't touch that!" Future Cat Noir said, grabbing onto the other end of the staff.
With that, Future Ladybug kept a deadpan expression on her face as she threw her Cat Noir at the other one, Ladybug and Hawk Moth.
There was a pile of bodies lying on the ground for a moment, allowing the dumbest Lucky Charm to ever be casted to appear.
A red spotted open metal box dropped into Future Ladybug's hands. She knew what it was, a Sendificator.
"Well...there's a bunch of ways this could go down." Future Ladybug said mostly to herself, but loud enough for the others to hear.
"Hm...am I supposed to pull a Dirk on Hawk Moth?" she wondered.
It was only then that she noticed Hawk Moth was going after Ladybug's Miraculous, with Future Cat Noir slowly trying to get away and the other Cat Noir having actually destroying Volpina's necklace some ways away.
The Ladybug in Hawk Moth's vicinity kicked Hawk Moth's leg and ran away.
Future Ladybug gasped, suddenly understanding what the Sendificator was for.
"I'M the one whose pulling a Dirk." she whispered.
She gained a determined expression, holding the Sendificator tighter in her hands. Future Ladybug ran towards Future Cat Noir, with an apologetic smile.
"I always wanted to know who the prick with glasses was." Ladybug said, passing the box over his hand, cutting it off.
Future Cat Noir screamed in agony, since his hand was just mercilessly chopped off by a box. This was just the distraction Future Ladybug needed for Hawk Moth to turn around.
Before she could do anything else in her plan, she was surprised to see an acquaintance of hers in Cat Noir's place.
She hesitated for a moment, before turning back to Hawk Moth, so looked pretty pissed.
"Don't lose your head over it, Hawk Moth." Future Ladybug said, with a wicked grin.
Before Hawk Moth could do anything at a, Future Ladybug lowered the box over her own head. The girl violently convulsed for a moment, before dropping down on the ground, dead.
Hawk Moth couldn't believe what he just saw. This Ladybug would rather decapitate herself than give him her Miraculous. She would rather cut off Cat Noir's hand than have him give up his Miraculous.
Future Ladybug had been INSANE!
But most of all.
"Her last words were a fucking pun." Hawk Moth said.
While Hawk Moth tried to understand the situation, Cat Noir grabbed Hawk Moth's Miraculous, changing the villain back to Gabriel Agreste.
"FATHER?!" Adrien yelled.
"ADREIN?!" Gabriel and Ladybug yelled.
"L-light?" Future Cat Noir quietly asked, staring at the headless body of his classmate, before dropping dead himself.
There was a loud snort emitted behind all of them.
"Well this has been fun but I think you should settle this when you're not in the top of the Eiffel Tower." a sarcastic voice asked.
The four remaining Parisians looked up, seeing a girl that looked a lot like Future Ladybug floating in the air with a boy that looked like Future Cat Noir.
"Also should you be changing back soon?" The girl asked.
POOF
Oh look at that Adrien and Marinette know each other's identities that's cool. And Volpina is suddenly back to being Lila. Great.
THE FUCKING END.