This is my first fanfic, please read and review! :)
It is set after Twilight, instead of New Moon.
All owned by Stephenie Meyer. :)
It was lunchtime and I was queuing up for food. I saw my friends sat at our table, but it didn't look like there was any room for me because there was another new girl in my place. I guess my novelty wore off after a year. Or maybe it just wore off because there was a new, shinier toy available.
The new girl was from Florida and was telling all my friends fascinating stories about the sun and the heat. Everyone was deeply interested, so no-one even looked up when I walked over to them with my tray.
I felt hurt and pushed out and I knew that Edward, my gentle, caring vampire boyfriend, would make me feel better. Just imagining his beautiful face and dazzling eyes made me happier, already. So I went to sit with Edward and the other Cullens, at their table.
As I headed towards them, Rosalie glared at me. When she stared, her eyes were full of fury and hatred. I felt her eyes burning into me, as she watched me approach. She never looked away and it felt awkward to stare back at her because I could tell that she had a strong dislike for me.
I had always felt that Rosalie didn't like me; it showed from the first time she saw me with Edward. I started to think that sitting at the same table as her wasn't the beat idea, but I couldn't turn back now.
Besides, Edward's warm smile sped up my heartbeat and comforted me, making me feel more welcome. I sat next to him and tried to ignore Rosalie, despite the fact that I could sense that she was watching me with those cold stone eyes. Throughout lunch, I tried to block out Rosalie from my mind, but I still knew that she was there, giving me nasty looks and it made me feet increasingly uncomfortable.
When the lunch hour was over, everyone got up and left the table swiftly, to go to their lesson. Watching them walk so gracefully and elegantly often made me jealous, me being as clumsy as I am. Rosalie was purposefully slower than the others, so we were the last left at the Cullen table.
As I picked my bag up, lifting it onto one shoulder, Rosalie snarled, "Leave me and my family alone. You're not like us so it would be best if you were with people of your own kind. Forget all that you know about us and erase us from your life, completely. Edward was foolish to have told you our secret. Now we are all in danger of exposure."
"Rosalie, I would never –" I started to say, before Rosalie interrupted me.
"If you don't break up with Edward and forget about all of us, then I will make sure you do." Rosalie hissed. With that, Rosalie followed everyone else, leaving me alone in the lunch hall, stunned and slightly scared that she had threatened me.
For the rest of the day, Edward was distant. He never smiled, never looked at me and never said anything more than one word answers. I wondered whether he had heard what Rosalie said when she spoke to me after lunch.
Edward continued to be like this for a few days. He stopped coming over, stopped staying with me at night. Surely what Rosalie said couldn't be bugging him this much. Whatever it was, Edward kept a distance from me, which was normally unheard of. As the days went on, it began to get worse.
A week later, Edward met me in the car park, after school. I was surprised because, lately, he hadn't been giving me lifts to and from school and he just went home without saying goodbye.
"Bella," he said, weighing each word before he said it. "This is hard for me, too, but we have to stop seeing each other. We're not right together. It has to end. I'm sorry."
As he spoke, I felt my heart do strange things inside me. It felt like it was being stretched and twisted. Edward glanced over his shoulder at Rosalie, who was leaning against Edward's silver Volvo, with her arms folded and a slightly smug look on her face.
I was suddenly hot with rage because I knew that Rosalie must have had something to do with what Edward was saying to me. I was confused and upset and I felt like throwing up, but also bursting into tears.
"What? Why? Did Rosalie tell you to break up with me?" I demanded to know.
"No. Well, yes, she did tell me to, but that's not why I'm doing this." Edward said calmly, yet with a hint of sadness in his voice. "I'm doing this for your safety. It's not right for a human to be hanging out with a coven of vampires. There's a reason for that, Bella."
When he spoke my name, I thought I heard his tone turn a little bit more caring, but why would he possibly care about me if he was breaking up with me, leaving me on my own, vulnerable, lonely and unable to defend myself?
"Don't you love me, any-more?" I asked quietly, feeling small.
"No."
Rejection washed over me and the ache in my heart turned to a sharp stabbing pain. Perhaps this was what it felt like when your heart was breaking. I felt the sudden urge to cry and run away, back home, somewhere safe. Before I could move, Edward spoke again.
"We're leaving, Bella. All of us. We can't stay here any longer. That's not your fault. We've just been here for too long. This will make it easier for you. It'll be like we never existed. You can forget all about me."
"I'll never be able to forget about you, Edward."
"You will, eventually. Human memories fade over time. Goodbye, Bella. Keep safe."
Before I had the chance to say goodbye to the man that didn't love me any-more, he kissed my on the forehead, turned away and left me. Forever. He got in the car, with the rest of his family and drove away. I would never see him again.
I couldn't believe how stupid I was to have actually thought that he ever loved me, to have thought that, one day, I might become an addition to his family and we would stay together, forever. Of course he didn't love me. Why would anyone so beautiful and wonderful and perfect love anyone like me? I was none of those things.
When I arrived home, I didn't feel like I was really there. When Charlie got home from work, we hardly spoke. He didn't suspect that anything had changed, even though my whole reason for living was gone, because neither of us are really ones for a long conversation. We've probably never actually had a conversation that's lasted for more than five minutes. That wasn't going to change now.
I went upstairs, to my room, after dinner and as soon as the door was shut, I started to cry. I couldn't hold it in any longer. I lay down on my bed and cried into my pillow for hours and hours. I was dying inside because the love of my life had left me – at least that's how I felt.
I had no reason for living any-more because the centre of my universe was gone. Now I was just orbiting around nothing. No reason at all. No reason to still be here, but I couldn't bring myself to make myself disappear, forever. I had to think of Charlie. He would blame himself and would wallow in guilt for the rest of his then empty life.
I was sobbing and sobbing, sobbing until my eyes ran dry and I could cry no more. Finally, I fell asleep, snuggling into the soaking, salty pillow. I let myself drift away into unconsciousness, into darkness. I invited the darkness in, to envelope me and pull me under, to a place where I couldn't hurt. Sleep.
"Don't you love me, any-more?" I asked quietly, feeling small.
"No."
Rejection washed over me and the ache in my heart turned to a sharp stabbing pain. Perhaps this was what it felt like when your heart was breaking. I felt the sudden urge to cry and run away, back home, somewhere safe. Before I could move, Edward spoke again.
"We're leaving, Bella. All of us. We can't stay here any longer. That's not your fault. We've just been here for too long. This will make it easier for you. It'll be like we never existed. You can forget all about me."
"I'll never be able to forget about you, Edward."
"You will, eventually. Human memories fade over time. Goodbye, Bella. Keep safe."
Oh, how wrong I was that I could escape the pain. Even my subconscious couldn't get away from it. When I awoke, I was weeping again. I didn't just feel pain and sadness, now; I felt anger and hate. Not directed at Edward, though. I could never hate my Edward.
I was angry at Rosalie because she was selfish enough to not even want her brother to be happy, but now I guess that wasn't the case – he didn't love me. Rosalie and Edward himself had both told me to forget about him. That would be harder than not being able to see him ever again.
And Alice! Oh, Alice. I knew she would never stop loving me. She was the sister I never had. I never got to say good bye to Alice. I wonder if she thought it were best that way, not having to go through the added hurt of saying those last, final words. I would miss everything about Alice. The way she would drag me off to go shopping, the way she helped me with my walking cast, the way she would sometimes come over in the mornings and do my hair for me. I would miss her so much.
I would miss my Edward much, much more, though. He was the centre of my being, the whole point of my existence. And he didn't love me. He was gone. Forever. Never again would I be able to look at his smile, into his golden eyes, be held safe in his arms, smell his calming, seductive scent.
This realisation made the pain even more. The twisting and stretching of my heart turned into ripping. I was completely heartbroken.
Although my Edward no longer loved me, I was sure Rosalie had some thing to do with a small part of it. My Edward only turned distant after Rosalie had threatened me. Maybe what she said had seemed like a good idea to him, since he didn't love me. I pondered on the thought that maybe he hadn't loved me for a while and had only stuck around to be my protector, since I was unable to do so myself and I seemed to attract danger or trouble like a magnet.
I was overwhelmed by all these contrasting feelings. I needed to get away so I could be completely on my own for a while. I didn't know how long I might need so I packed a small backpack with food and clothes and threw it out the window.
I quietly swung myself outside, through the window, by holding the drainpipe. It was higher than I had thought it would be. I was still sobbing, but quieter than before, so I wouldn't get caught by Charlie or any of the other neighbours.
It was dark now, since I woke up. Probably very early in the morning. I didn't bother to check the time on my phone because I wouldn't be needing it, wherever I was going, so I hadn't taken it off the dresser.
Once I was down the pipe, I picked up my bag and started towards the edge of the forest, by my house. I ran and ran and kept running, never looking back. I didn't know where I was running to; all I knew was that I needed to be alone and away from everything and everyone. I just needed to be all by myself for a while, so I could sort my head out.
Eventually, my feet led me to the meadow where my Edward showed me what his skin looked like, when the sun shined on it. It was strange that I had managed to get here because all the other times that I had gone into the forest on my own, I had never found it.
I remember the way he took me on his back and we ran through the forest at lightening speed. I remember the way Edward's skin glittered and sparkled, as if a million tiny diamonds were embedded on the surface. I remember the way I was awed that he could look even more beautiful than before, my shining, golden-eyed angel, the centre of my being. I remember the way he smiled as he felt the warmth of my skin. I remember the way we were, together.
I walked into our meadow, looking around at how different it was, since I was last here. When I came here with my Edward, it was Summer, the happiest season of them all. There were wild-flowers all around us, ranging in colour. There were yellow, white, purple and red, all beautifully contrasting with the rich green of the grass. The Sun shone down on Edward and I, we were happy. He loved me, back then.
As I looked around this mystical place, now, I took in all the differences – in the ways the meadow had changed and how my life had changed. It was coming close to Winter, the coldest season of them all. The meadow now looked sad. There were no beautiful wild-flowers, the grass was no longer green. It was early dawn now and already, there was no sunshine. My Edward didn't love me.
I tried not to think about the past week, when Edward was so down and distant. Instead, I focused on thinking of the good times that we had had together. This made me cry again because I wasn't supposed to be thinking of him, I was supposed to be forgetting everything. How could I possibly forget the one person that had given my life a purpose?
I slumped down in the long, yellow grass, with tears slowly falling down my cheeks. I must have sat there for a while because it began to get cold and dark. I pulled out a blanket from my backpack and wrapped myself in it.
After some time, I stopped weeping. My tears dried on my face, leaving salty powder in trails. I brushed them off my face and sat up. Charlie must be getting worried. He might be looking for me. I didn't want to be found, not yet.
Just then, I heard something moving in the trees that lined Edward's meadow. I looked up but I couldn't see anything with these weak human eyes. It was probably just a bear or a wolf, or something. I just hoped it would finish me quickly; I didn't need more pain.
Again, I heard the thing moving about in the undergrowth of the forest, closer to me. It was watching me, probably deciding how to attack. Hurry up, already! I have no wish to keep living, now that Edward doesn't love me. Please, end my life for me.
There was more rustling, in different places around me. There was either more than one of whatever it was, or it was moving very fast. The first option seemed more likely, since nothing could move that fast, except... No. Why would he come back for me? He wouldn't, I knew that. He didn't love me, of course. Still, I felt a small pang of hope. I stood up and scanned the edge of the forest, trying to see if my Edward had changed his mind, even though I knew that would never happen.
It went silent for a minute. All I could hear was my breathing and my heartbeat, thumping inside my chest. I sensed something behind me. I turned around, suddenly anxious and afraid. I looked at the figure standing at the edge of the trees, motionless. That was when I saw who it was...
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