Here's something that has bugged me for longer than I care to admit. An AU idea surrounding one of the more important scenes in Castle's run (IMHO). Planned as a two-shot (maybe three if the plot in my head continues throwing ideas at me), but i've not yet started on pt II yet.

As with all my submissions, all constructive reviews and comments are more than welcome. I hope you enjoy what I've written.

Disclaimer - the people that own Castle are the people that own Castle. I'm not one of those people.

'I was shot in the chest and I remember every goddamn second of it!' Rick Castle's world crumbled around him at Kate Beckett's harsh bark, the woman sat on the edge of the interrogation room table as she leant over into the personal space of the potential suspect behind the recent disastrous bombing.

Stumbling back away from the glass separating him from the scene before him, Rick dropped the plastic cup of coffee he'd bought himself as he doubled over. After the heartbreak of Kyra, he'd never thrown himself into any relationship with all his being until he's met Kate, not even Meredith had garnered the same level of emotion in him with her director than the mind-numbing pain that coursed through his body at that moment. Clamping a hand on the rail, Rick gasped as he fought to contain the rising sob.

''She doesn't love you Ricky,'' The silver tongued voice of doubt sneered in his head, "she's never loved you. She's probably too embarrassed to tell you that your stupid little crush is another waste of time."

'I get it,' Kate's somber voice slipped through the cracks in Rick's pain. Forcing himself to look at the window, Rick was shocked at the amount of emotion in Kate's eyes, 'I think I get you more than you do, you don't want to remember the pain, the horror that you experienced. But you can't shut it out Andrew, otherwise it will consume you.'

Rick stood rooted to the spot in the dark observation room, the sheer amount of pain on Kate's face leaving him unable to move, to breathe, as the detective stared at her reflection in the one way mirror.

'I ran away,' Kate's distain at herself was palpable, 'I ran away and hid after I was shot, shut out everyone that I love because I didn't feel worthy of them. I remember every agonising second after my shooting, but I've lied to everyone and told them I don't.'

'Why?' Rick glanced at Andrew, the man staring at the floor with a hauntingly similar expression to Kate.

'How do you tell someone you remember the sound of their terror as they plead with you to stay alive?' Kate's eyes slammed shut with the agony of her memories, 'That I remember the feel of her hands as she kept my shattered heart beating.'

Rick stepped up to the window, his eyes locking on Kate's as she opened hers. He remembered explicitly the sound of Lanie's begging, her voice echoing in his head, and the way the strong, vibrant woman had collapsed sobbing into his arms when they'd lost sight of the gurney.

'I want to tell them everything,' Kate swiped at her face, Rick wishing he could reach through the glass and stop the rush of tears that started down her face, 'I want to tell her that I'll never be able properly to thank her, I want to be able to tell my friends that I'm sorry.'

'I want to tell him...' Kate's voice hitched, a hand pressing against her chest and the scarred skin, 'Tell him what... That his words kept me from giving up. God...' Kate broke out into a brief blinding smile under the tears, 'I want to smack him over the head for waiting to say he loves me as I'm laying dying. I want to tell him... That I...'

Kate hiccuped, the action snapping her back into heartbreak, 'I can't tell them...I can't tell the people I love what I need to because of what happened to me.'

'Why?' Andrew was staring over the table at Kate, a look of horrific recognition on his face.

'Scared,' Kate turned away from the window, and Rick, a hand swiping over her face as she perched herself on the table, 'Scared of what will happen when the truth comes out, fearful that I've screwed things up too much already.'

'No Kate...' Rick whispered, 'Not yet.'

'You need to tell me what happened Andrew,' Kate sighed, 'If not to bring justice for those that died, but to stop the same rot from taking hold inside you that has me paralysed,' Kate spun a pad of paper round and slid it to the possible suspect, a pen resting on the white page, 'If you can't say it, then try and write it. I'm going to give you a few minutes to think, then I'll come back and help you through what you saw.'

'Okay,' Rick heard the whispered reply as Kate stood. Stepping away from the table, he watched her pause at the door and take a deep, soul cleansing breath.

'It may not seem like it right now,' Kate opened the door, 'But everything will be okay eventually. Take it from someone who's hidden for far too long, all it does is make the pain worse.'

Rick watched as Andrew reached out with a shaking hand, plucking the pen from the paper and starting to slowly write. Hearing the all too familiar tone that Kate put on when she really wasn't okay from outside the room, Rick sucked in a breath. He should be angry, furious at being deceived for almost ten months but the openness of Kate's eyes showed him everything the woman had hidden from him.

Over the last few months, he'd watched as she'd opened up to life. She smiled more, laughed louder. He'd fallen in love with Kate all over again despite the three month silence as he watched her start to live again.

Gathering his senses, Rick scrubbed a hand over his face and turned to the closed door. He saw Kate standing a few feet away with her back to him, her laughter at something Javier Esposito had said softening the busy Bullpen.

'Has R-Castle come back from the coffee place yet?' Kate turned her head to the elevator doors, missing the fact the man in question was now standing behind her.

'He's right behind you Becks,' Esposito huffed, shaking his head and stepping back to his desk. Rick felt Kate's entire body freeze up, the cold terror almost visible against her skin.

'Kate...'

'H-how long have you been here?' Kate fisted her hand by her hip, a vain attempt to stop the bone shaking shivering that rocked her limbs from the fear that he'd heard her confession.

'You've not screwed it up Kate,' Rick reached down and curled his fingers around her fist, the explosion of stuttered breath from Kate the only noticeable reaction to his words. Lifting her hand up, Rick pressed a gentle kiss to her knuckles, 'Not yet. You don't need to be scared of me.'

'Rick...' Kate bit her lip, her eyes glistening, 'why... Why aren't you angry?'

'I was behind the glass,' Rick slowly unfurled Kate's fingers, his lips pressing against her palm when he'd opened her hand, 'Right in front of you. I saw everything on your face,' both were oblivious to the two men watching them, Esposito having nudged Kevin Ryan when he'd seen the event unfolding, 'I saw it all. You have stunning eyes Kate, eyes that rarely completely hide your emotions. In that room I saw the pure, unadulterated truth in your eyes.'

'I'm sorry Rick!' Kate gasped, her tears flowing down her cheeks, 'I'm so, so sorry. I didn't know how... How to tell you. I thought it was all a dream when you asked me if I remembered in the hospital and I... Panicked when I saw your reaction. I knew I'd messed everything up the moment you left the room... I...'

'I forgive you Kate.'

With the four quiet words, Rick could see the wall that Kate had spoken about crumble before his eyes and he found himself with her head tucked into his neck as she silently sobbed into him, her fingers gripping his jacket like a vice.

'It's okay,' Rick wrapped his hands around Kate's back, his eyes turning to their now concerned team mates as he repeated himself for both men to relax, 'It's okay Kate. Everything's going to be okay.'

Rubbing his hand along Kate's spine, Rick swallowed the pain her gasps sent through him. Keeping his mouth by her ear he repeated himself over and over, his gentle tone draping over them and gradually calming Kate's silent sobs.

'Why?'

Rick blinked at the timid question, Kate's hands relaxing but still keeping hold of his jacket, 'Why what?'

'Why are you forgiving me?' Kate lifted her head and turned her face up to Rick's. Their surroundings were forgotten when Kate's eyes locked on Rick's, the former staring intensely up with confusion clouding the stunning adoration they contained, 'How can you...'

'Simple,' Rick's low rumble sent shivers through Kate, the slow grin that left the brunette feeling more mushy than she'd ever admit to draping across his face, 'I love you Kate.'

'Oh God Rick!' Kate breathed. The simplicity of his words filled Kate with a feeling she thought she'd lost forever, a warmth flooding her body and leaving her with a blindingly bright smile. Lifting herself up onto her tiptoes, Kate fired herself up to Rick's lips and crushed hers over them in a bruising kiss.

It was a testament to the massive workload placed on the 12th by the bombing that the quick, emotion filled kiss was missed by all but Ryan and Esposito. Though it wouldn't have mattered as, from the moment their lips connected, neither Rick nor Kate registering anything but the embrace.

'Wow...' Kate giggled when the two eventually broke for air. She didn't care if the bullpen had just watched them, nor did she waste a second worrying about what Gates would do to Castle if she was standing nearby. All that mattered to her in that moment was the man wrapped around her and the utter serenity she felt with him, 'I love you Rick.'

'Oh!' the elation that shone from Rick at her confession brightened the smile on Kate's face. A gentle cough from behind her snapped Kate back into the room and she couldn't stop the deep blush that covered her face from appearing.

'What?' The tone from Rick was enough for Kate, who was now trying to hide herself in Rick's chest, to know that whichever of her team mates that had interrupted them was about to die a painful death.

'Gates is on her way up and from what LT just told me,' Esposito's Marine built coolness under threat covered his words, 'She's pissed. I really don't think you two lovebirds should be getting this cosy up here today.'

'He's right,' The irritable grumble ripped a giggle from Kate's chest, 'She hates me enough already.'

'No she doesn't,' Kate shook her head, the loss of Rick's heat when he took a step back affecting her more than she expected, 'She just hasn't lived with the Castle charm long enough. You bugged the hell out of me when you first arrived and look at us now.'

'Yeah,' Esposito smirked, 'Look at you now.'

'Behave,' It wasn't lost on the three men just how much happier Kate was, even from just a few minutes ago, and the cheeky glare sent towards the retired Marine held more mirth than any other emotion.

'Yes mother!' Esposito threw in another tease before he handed Kate a folder, a seriousness filling him quickly, 'Nine more victims identified. Bomb Squad confirm no more devices in the area.'

'Thank God,' Kate jumped when Rick leant over her shoulder, his large hand almost scalding on her hip when he pressed against her. Looking up at the writer that had helped her demolish the walls she'd allowed life to build in her, Kate couldn't understand why she'd battled so hard against the warmth that filled her soul.

'I don't believe it,' Esposito huffed, 'if you two are going to be worse than Honeymilk and Jenny at being all loved up, I think I'm gonna puke!'

'Better get a bucket handy then,' Kate smirked. The familiar ping from across the bullpen snapped the trio back into professional mode as Captain Gates stormed into the room, her face the usual shade of apocalypse.

'Tell me you have something, ' Gates glared dangerously, 'Otherwise I'm not going to be happy to see my best team hanging around doing nothing today.'

'Beckett has just gotten through to Andrew,' Castle spoke up, 'She was just giving him a few moments to write down what he saw in the hope we can piece together the final bits of the puzzle.'

'Rick's right Sir,' Kate nodded, 'Andrew is somehow linked to the bombing and I'm hoping that now he's willing to give us an accurate account of the missing 47 seconds, we will be able to get a better picture of the events and work out just who it was that left the backpack.'

'Good work Detective,' Gates appeared to relax, the sharp frown on her forehead softening, 'I'll let you get back to it. Mr Castle, I trust you are not hindering the case.'

'He's not Sir,' Kate jumped in almost immediately, 'In fact, Rick was instrumental in getting Andrew to open up to me.'

'Be it so Detective,' Gates studied the two closely for a moment, her hand reaching for the handle to her office door, 'If you are being distracted by your boyfriend, then he will be sent home. No matter how useful he is being.'

Not allowing a reply, Gates wrenched the office door open and disappeared behind it, the loud slam cutting off Kate's response.

'How the hell?' Rick snapped his hanging jaw close with an audible crack, 'We literally just... How did she know?'

'I don't know,' Kate chuckled to herself, 'But as she's not kicking you out, then I don't care. Do you want to come in with me to read Andrew's statement?'

'I think it will help him,' Rick nodded, his hand automatically dropping to the small of Kate's back, 'Show him that speaking up can be a good thing.'

The moment the words left Rick's lips, he stumbled as his mind pounded him with his own secret. The blinking light on the large screen back in his office almost blinding in his head, the secret it held was one that Rick's fear taunted him with and he could almost hear the same voice of doubt taunting him.

"She'll hate you," it poured icy cold water over Rick, the heat that had formed when Kate had kissed him extinguished by terror, "you can't hide this from her, she'll find out and she'll despise you for what you've done. She'll loathe you for helping her mother's killer evade her. You've screwed it all up Ricky. You finally get everything your heart wants and it's all going to implode on you."

Gulping down the terror that gripped his chest, he looked up to find Kate frowning at him, 'Tired,' Rick shrugged, 'It's been a long few days.'

'How about once we've handled this case,' Kate smiled softly, twisting from the interrogation room door to face her partner, 'I apply to use a week of my insanely big collection of vacation days and we go... Somewhere? Take a week to connect... In as many ways as you can think of.'

'O-ok,' Rick nodded slowly, 'Lets get this hellish case solved.'

Following Kate into the interrogation room, Rick knew that despite the heart-soaringly amazing fact that Kate Beckett loved him, he had created the dynamite that would destroy both their worlds and he'd done it willingly. Gulping, he took a deep breath and entered the small room.

She loved him, the words had passed her lips, and Rick Castle silently prayed that the fact would still be accurate by the end of the day.