Breakdown

by Invisible Sun

Disclaimer: The Almighty Joss and Co. own 'em. I'm just borrowing.

Spoilers: Post-Grave and various spoilers for Season Seven

Keywords: Angst

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Yeah, I know. *groan* Not another Post-Grave. Haven't we had enough? *shrugs* But this one's different...okay, maybe not...but why don't you read it anyway. :)

It had been three months since everything went down. Tara was dead. Willow went over the edge with her magic. Giles came back. Spike left.

Buffy wouldn't admit it to anyone, but she missed the bleached vampire. Even after what he did. But...he wasn't entirely responsible. Oh, sure, he played a huge part. But so had she. She was the one who had continually toyed with his emotions. She was the one who used him and hurt him and drove him faster to his breaking point.

And she felt terrible about it. He had been there ever since she came back and she took it for granted. And destroyed him. And she was sorry for it. But now he was gone. And it didn't look like he was going to come back.

And maybe that would be for the best.

She sighed. Who was she kidding? She wanted him to come back. Even if it was only to hear her apology. He, at least, deserved to hear that.

But she knew she had to stop thinking about it. Right now, she needed to help the gang restore the disaster area that was once the magic shop.

Course, the gang wasn't much of a gang these days. Giles had returned to London with Willow. He took her with the hopes that the coven that gave him his temporary powers would be able to help Willow control hers.

She entered the shop and there was the normal greetings before everyone got to work.

By nightfall, they had managed to clear most of the rubble, mostly thanks to Buffy's super strength.

"I'm going to go do a quick patrol. While I'm gone, why don't you guys take a break," she said.

Xander, Dawn, and Anya nodded enthusiastically, clearly eager for the chance to relax.

Buffy grabbed a stake and headed out the door.

Almost immediately, she felt it. No...she felt *him*. He came back.

"Spike?" she called out.

A figure stepped out of the shadows. Buffy was surprised. It was Spike. No denying that. But he was different. His hair was the most obvious. It was longer. His natural hair color was showing through the blond. He looked slightly thinner to her. He looked sick...but...vampires didn't get sick.

"You came back," she stated.

He nodded, "Had some unfinished business to take care of."

She tensed. He sounded different, cold, indifferent. She was caught off guard when he shifted to his demon visage. He took a step toward her and she reacted by stepping away.

He smirked, "I've been doing some thinking lately. And I've decided you were right."

"I was right about what?" Was that fear in her voice?

"I'm an evil disgusting monster. I figured maybe it was time to stop acting like a love-sick puppy and be what I so obviously am." And with that he launched himself at her.

She barely had time to react before he was on her. He grabbed her shoulders and pinned her against the nearby wall. She quickly recovered and threw his arms off her. Then she kneed him in the groin, causing him to bend over in pain. She brought her fist to his chin in an uppercut, sending him flying.

He landed in the middle of the deserted street with a loud thud. He quickly returned to his feet as Buffy approached him. She kicked him in the face. He stumbled, almost losing his balance and falling again. But he caught himself and swung at her, trying to punch her.

She blocked it skillfully before launching into a series of high kicks. Spike managed to block a couple of them before he was on his back again.

"What's that matter, Spikey? If I didn't no any better, I'd say you're losing it," she taunted.

He growled before launching himself at her again. He unleashed a sequence of punches and kicks, not allowing her to get a move in. She was quickly the one that was looking at him from the flat of her back.

He smirked, "Now who's losing it?"

She glared at him before swiping her foot out, knocking him down. They both returned to their feet at the same time. She kicked him, but Spike successfully blocked it. He reached out to punch her, but she ducked and slammed her fist into his stomach. He bent over and she brought her knee to his face.

His head snapped back and he unconsciously grabbed for his nose. This gave her another chance to kick him in the face. He stumbled in the direction of the kick.

"Oh, my God!"

Dawn's voice distracted Buffy. Apparently, the gang (or what was left of it) heard the racket and went to investigate.

"Dawn! Get back inside now!" Buffy warned before Spike kicked her in the face.

But Dawn and the others wouldn't move. They were glued in their spots. Buffy decided it was time to end the fight and end it now. She reached into her pocket and retrieved her stake. Spike eyed the stake and smirked.

He easily kicked it out of her hand. His hand was around her throat before she knew it and he maneuvered her to the wall. She was trapped. He moved to her neck. And she tensed herself for the bite that she knew would come.

But it didn't. She never felt his fangs enter her flesh. Instead she felt something wet.

He was crying.

Spike. Was...crying?

She was surprised, shocked. It was as if he had just shattered her whole world view. She could think of nothing else except to try to comfort him. She brought her hand up to rest on the back of his neck.

His sobs racked his body and his knees faltered and they both slid down the wall.

"Oh, God. I'm so sorry. Please don't forgive me..." He repeated the mantra over and over. Buffy found herself tightening her hold of him.

She looked at Xander, Anya, and Dawn. They all looked just a surprised as she felt about Spike's breakdown. She moved her eyes back to Spike before returning them on her friends. They all received the unspoken message and nodded before returning to the shop.

She kissed the top of his head before resting her forehead against him. She knew of nothing else to do but hold him. And comfort him. And she knew that this time, she wouldn't make the mistake of turning her back to him. Not when he so clearly needed it.

And when she so needed it, as well.

The End