The Lily and The Rose
As Snape looked out window on the 7th floor of Hogwarts, he breathed deeply and looked up at the darkening sky.
The school had lost its soul, and he felt he had robbed it of it.
Almost a year ago he had unwillingly killed former Headmaster Albus Dumbledore following a pact based on an old, still raw guilt and a devotion that still pained him.
His lost, unrequited love. Lily Potter.
He had, in an act of what he now considered to be stupid rashness of youth, a desire for important, an act of purging himself of this pain he felt delivered a misheard message to his former master, The Dark Lord.
A woman who had thrice defied the Dark Lord would bear a child at the end of July, and that child would be the one who had the power to defeat him.
The Dark Lord found it laughable that an infant would be the one to destroy him and in a bid to end the rumour and crush the Wizarding World with true power.
The thought sickened him, but back then he was too apathetic to anything but to the rage he felt when he thought of James Potter and Lily together.
And then a rumour came…
Lily Potter was pregnant.
The initial repulsion that she had fornicated with that bastard gave way to the panic of when the child was due, and when he heard it was July.
He felt like vomiting.
Wracked with panic, he turned to the only man he knew had the power to protect her.
Albus Dumbledore.
The old man seemed to distrust him. And how could he blame him, a death eater on his knees on a wind-whipped hill top. But when he had spoken of Lily, and his promise to do anything to keep her safe, at last the old man had agreed to help-for his eternal loyalty.
It was a small price to pay to keep her, and her new child safe. He even seemed to come to terms with the fact he had kept that bastard Potter safe.
And then came the news. A message from Lucius Malfoy.
"The Dark Lord has fallen."
And he knew.
He knew that Lily was in danger.
Disapparating to Godric's hollow where he knew they were, but not which house, he did not need to look for long as the blasted remains of their home.
Walking as quickly as his legs could carry him, he entered their home, seeing the prone body of James Potter…Dead.
Into the half demolished nursery…
Where he saw a weeping child, crying…sobbing at the sight of his dead mother.
His beloved Lily.
Dead.
He did not recall how long he sat, rocking back and forth with her waning corpse, sobbing into her hair and pressing tear soaked kissed into her cold forehead.
But somehow he had found the strength to go back and confront Dumbledore.
Dumbledore seemed genuinely grief stricken, but seemed only content to organize care for the boy.
Her son. Who lived.
And then he said it…
"If you loved Lily Evans, if you truly loved her, then your way forward is clear."
For 16 years he had been Dumbledore's servant. A double agent.
Both at The Dark Lord's call and Dumbledore's allegiance, doing the unthinkable on a Summer's eve last year to hide his eventual death, to protect another boy…the child of an old friend at his mothers request…And to rob himself of the only person he considered a friend.
He had killed Dumbledore and vilified himself in the eyes of the Wizarding World, and here he was.
Unwilling headmaster to this school, one of The Dark Lord's most trusted devotees, and still following the orders of the dead old man to protect the son of his long since deceased love.
Snape took another deep breath and exhaled it into the warm night air, casting a supervisory eye over the grounds.
Before his eyes, a sudden vague light came out of the sky and seemed to land near the black lake.
He assumed it was a will'o' the wisp or something like that, perhaps even a patronus. But the strange noise that echoed even to where he was stood 7 floors up and at least half a mile away sounded like nothing else he had never heard.
Snape decided that it was in his jurisdiction to discover what it was, pulling out his wand, he prepared to disapparate and challenge whatever it was.
With a faint 'pop' that was deafened by the environment, Snape pulled out his wand to challenge what had landed on the grounds of his school.
He was not prepared for what stood there.
A large blue telephone box was stood there. It had blue wooden panels, a blue light that glowed brightly on its top and a door.
Snape recalled seeing one as a young boy. It was something that a muggle contraption that the 'police'.
What on earth was a Muggle contraption doing on the school grounds?!
Snape was just about to knock on its door to check if a wizard had some how managed to break through the intensive security on the grounds when the door swung open and a tall, gangly man with glasses and a blue suit opened the door.
"Hello!" he greeted Snape animatedly. "Quick Question, where are we?"
Snape was clearly not impressed as he pointed his wand straight at the stranger's face.
"…Who are you?" he asked coldly.
The strange looked at the wand tip and back at Snape before nodding.
"Quite right." he fished into his pocket and withdrew a card holder before handing it to Snape.
Snape kept his wand pointed at the stranger in the blue box before examining the parchment.
"How interesting…" Snape began coolly. "And tell me, how does this explain anything?" he said, handing it back to the stranger and tightening his grip on the wand.
"…Is it…blank to you?" the stranger asked.
"Obviously." Snape retorted. "Now, tell me. How did you get here?"
"…Well, bit of a long story." Said the stranger, pulling out a strange device that glowed blue at one end. "I thought I'd pop to Raxacoricofallapatorius and-"
Snape rapidly cast a charm which knocked the stranger off his feet and onto the ground, completely immobile as Snape picked up the instrument he had been holding.
"Let's find out who the devil you are and what kind of wand this is."
The stranger was trying to speak now but could not against the body bind curse that held him.
Snape handled the device which made strange whirring noises in his hand.
"What is this?" Snape demanded, flicking his wand at the man, only partially lifting the curse.
"It's a sonic screwdriver, and what did you just do to me?!"
"I cursed you, you dunderhead." Snarled Snape. "What kind of wand is this? Who made it for you?"
"Wand?" The stranger looked into the distance behind Snape and saw the grounds. "…Wait a sec…What year is it?"
Snape stared incredulously at the stranger, he was positively infuriating.
"1997, you have ten seconds to tell me who you are or I will hex you so thoroughly they will be using spell tape to put your body back together."
"…Snape." The stranger muttered. "Professor Severus Snape, Head of Slytherin House, Current Headmaster of Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Half-Blood."
"Wrong." Snape began. "That's me." Snape raised his wand again.
"Wait!" The Stranger continued. "I'm the Doctor."
"…Doctor?" Snape asked. He was familiar with the term, his father often visited one when his lung disease had worsened in severity, and "So, you're a muggle."
"No, actually…I'm a Wizard." The stranger said. "Could you unfreeze me please, chronic itchy nose…"
Snape saw no reason that this person posed a threat, they were clearly insane. With another flick of his wand Snape released the man who stood up and scratched his nose with a long, satisfied sigh.
"A Wizard." Snape continued. "So this IS your wand."
"Yes…Well, sort of, no…Well, I suppose so."
"Who made it?"
"I did, well she did…" he continued nodding to the box behind him.
"The box made your wand?" Snape reiterated, looking at the man as if he were insane.
"Yes."
"And the box has a gender."
"Yes."
"You're insane." Snape decided aloud. "I don't know how you know who I am, but that won't matter for long." He pointed his wand at the Strangers face. "Obli-"
"Wait!"
Snape sighed exasperatedly.
"What now?!"
"I…I…Have you ever seen a Time Turner?" the Stranger asked urgently.
"…Of course I have." Snape sighed sourly.
"Have you ever seen one as big as this…?" The Stranger opened the door of the box behind him and Snape took a cursory glance into it.
Granted, it looked larger on the inside than it appeared on the outside, but that was simply an extension charm.
"I see no Time Turner in there."
"You do, it's that big glowy thing in there."
Snape felt himself sneering at the stranger's childish diction.
"I have no need of a Time Turner, so if that's all, I'm sure Azkaban are missing a prisoner…"
"Wait!" The Stranger repeated, throwing up his hands."…Are you sure there is something that you wanted to see? Something you wanted to change? Something that you didn't want to happen?"
Snape was about to rebuff him again, but the ever present of Ghost of Lily Potter floated to the front of his mind.
Lowering his wand he looked to this man, 'The Doctor'.
"You know, as well as I do, that terrible things happen to Wizards who meddle with time."
"…What if you weren't seen?" The Doctor continued.
Snape could not believe it.
He had willingly stepped into this stranger wooden box, allowed this man who called himself 'The Doctor' to take him back in time to 1981 using a Time Turner which he suspected was not ministry regulated and left behind everything with the promise that he would be back in time for morning.
This box was the strangest Time Turner he had ever seen. It worked like a muggle machine, with no identifiable magic but The Doctor piloted it as if he were in some of ballet, on occasion he would laugh manically at the machine and call her a 'good girl' before proceeding to hammer at her panels with a mallet.
Snape still had reservations on The Doctor's sanity, and at this moment, his own.
"…Why did you come to Hogwarts?" He asked, looking over at the man who was currently playing with a lever on the main bit of the Time Turner.
"…Well, I was…travelling and I was going…somewhere, and…I ended up…where you are." The Doctor explained cryptically.
"You aren't very good at lying, are you?" Snape said silkily, folding his arms.
"No." The Doctor sighed. "Very good at making paper airplanes, but not lying."
"So you crash landed on my school grounds, and are now taking me back in time for no reason other than to be 'nice'?"
"Yep." The Doctor nodded. "Though, I must admit…I am a HUGE fan." The Doctor enthused. "The way you teach Occulmency, superb."
"I really don't understand you. Have I ever taught you?" Snape asked.
"Not really, though I consider myself a Ravenclaw."
"I am perplexed. Where were you taught?"
"Gallifrey."
"I've never heard of it."
"No, we're fairly…old school." The Doctor leaned on a railing that surrounded the main part of the Time Turner. "…So why 1981. Why Godric's Hollow?"
Snape swallowed evenly. It was a fair question for someone who was doing him a great favour.
"…I need to see someone, for the last time."
The Doctor nodded.
"…A girl?"
"A woman." Snape corrected. "…An old friend."
"…Does she die in 1981?" The Doctor asked.
Snape swallowed hard and looked into the brightest part of the Time Turner, his eyes watering slightly.
"…Yes."
"…We can't stop it." The Doctor began suddenly. "it's a fixed point, she has to die."
"I know." Snape began suddenly, his tones harsh. "I know she has to die. I know that, I've known it for years. Because of her son."
The Doctor seemed to want to say something to him but shook his head.
"I've watched someone else see their loved one die. They intervened…It nearly ripped time itself apart."
Snape looked at the man.
"I won't pretend to know what you mean. But we're not going to see her die." Snape continued. "…we're going to see her happy."
The Doctor nodded.
"…I lost someone too."
Snape looked at him, half interested.
"…She's somewhere else…with someone else…She's happy. I think. Where she is, I can't go."
"Not even with the Time Turner?"
"No." The Doctor continued. "…Her name is Rose."
Snape nodded, swallowed and mumbled.
"…Lily."
The Doctor nodded.
The great blue box gave a great lurch and The Doctor went on adjusting its many levers and buttons rapidly until he looked to Snape.
"…October 28th 1981. Godric's Hollow." The Doctor announced. "…Ready?"
Snape nodded certainly and started forwards as if to leave through the doors but The Doctor stopped him.
"…You can't be seen, you can't speak to her, and you can't do anything that would change anything in the future…"
"She's under the Fidelus charm. Will I be able to see her?"
The Doctor considered this for a moment before nodding.
"You know where she was now. That will be enough."
Snape nodded and walked to the door with a purposeful stride.
The doors opened slowly as Snape walked out into blazing sunlight.
The Doctor walked out behind him and Snape looked around into the friendly, ordinary village of Godric's hollow.
Snape's steps were automatic.
He knew where the house would be, and this time intact.
Knowing The Doctor would be dogging his every step, he walked carefully, avoiding eye contact with anyone who passed, yet they seemed to look through him, as if he were a ghost.
He felt like a ghost.
A cool, calmness came over him, a frozen calmness.
He would see Lily again. This time she would be alive, breathing, a smile on her face. It felt like going home.
How much he would love to open the gate and be the man she welcomed home…
How much he would have loved for the child in the cot in that house to be theirs.
Seeing the familiar, now complete roof of the old house come into view, the overgrown hedges, the flowers, the gate…He knew she was inside.
Just knowing she was inside was enough to warm his soul.
Standing on the pavement opposite the house, The Doctor drew close to him.
"…Is this her house?"
"Yes." breathed Snape. "…She's in there."
There was a pregnant pause as Snape's eyes strayed over the contours of the house, as if they could see through the walls and windows to look for her.
"…Are you alright?" asked The Doctor in a tone that suggested he knew the answer.
"…No." Snape responded, his voice slightly congested. "…I know she's in there. I know I could run in and grab her…and their boy…and take them with me, and know they would be alright…But I know I can't-"
Just then, the window of the house they had been staring at opened. A young woman with long red hair and pale skin had opened it and she was looking out into the street with a sort of sadness.
The Doctor noticed that the man in black at his side balled his fists up at his side as his eyes gazed on hungrily.
"…Is that her?"
"Yes…" Snape breathed, sounding more choked than before.
The woman appeared to turn as a baby cried in the background; she turned back towards the room and a few moments later, appeared back with the crying child. She was smiling now, showing the child the street outside.
The child quietened, seemed to be satiated and she took him back into the nursery…disappearing from view.
The silence that followed seemed to be solid and immovable until Snape turned back to The Doctor.
"…Doctor." began Snape. "…When I go back, I must be brave."
"Yes." The Doctor nodded.
"…The child in there, is a grown man now…and he is in grave danger."
"I know." The Doctor nodded.
"…You aren't a Wizard, are you?" Snape surmised.
"No." The Doctor shook his head.
"…Do you know how this ends?" he asked.
"…Yes."
Snape looked at the tall man whose eyes seemed far older than his body.
"…Does it end how it was meant to?"
The Doctor paused and looked at the house for a moment longer, considering the question.
"…Yes."
Snape breathed out, as if he had been inhaling something noxious.
"Take me back."
When the doors of the box opened again, The Doctor looked to Snape who stepped back onto the school grounds, a mere hour since he had left.
"Home sweet home." The Doctor nodded.
"Indeed." Snape nodded. "…Will you return?"
"A one time trip. I was due at Raxacoricofallapatorius about a year ago, its fine. They'll carry on without me for now." The Doctor continued.
"Thank you." Snape added.
"No problem, it was an honour." The Doctor smiled.
"…I hope you find her." Snape continued.
"…Who?"
"Rose." Snape replied. "…No other man deserves the fate I have brought upon myself."
The Doctor looked down at his sneakers and watched as the man in black disappeared with a pop.
The Doctor sighed and stepped back into the TARDIS before sitting at the console panel's stool and reaching for the book that had been balanced on the panel.
It was a thick book. And had a picture of a brass locket on the front that had a serpentine 'S' in green gems.
Flipping carelessly through the pages, he found himself stopping at chapter 33.
"The Princes Tale."