I'm not going to try and apologize because no amount of grovelling could ever excuse me. I just hope that some fantastic people see how truly sorry I am for the enormous delay and can only hope that some people can find it my hearts to forgive me and review even though I don't deserve it. Show you still care. This chapter is long for my standards but rather poorly written but please review as it will make me the happiest FF writer alive. Please Review. Thank You...J.P xx
Disclaimer: Not mine. Wish it was. But it's not.
The covers of the majestic Gryffindor dormitory beds were always a comfort for me and when I crawled under the warm feather filled covers this time in no different. The oddly satisfying numbness spread over me and I let the tears spill like they had done in previous years. I'd done the same in third year where the Grindylows had scared my thirteen year-old to tears; looking back on it now it was quite funny but the humiliation of being scared of a creature that had no chance of hurting me, in a class full of other students, was very embarrassing for a self-conscious, spot-ridden teenage girl-so much for Gryffindor courage. I'd gone to the library straight after the pain had gone away to research them, to be able to look at one again and not be scared, that's how I've always operated I guess experience the fear and then use my own head to justify that the fear was unnecessary. I was in the library the whole day, sniffling away but keeping reading and reading. I can still remember my small tear drops falling onto the pages and trying to wipe the wet off with my tears, as if to demolish any proof that I had been upset. By the end of the day I could trace my fingers on the pale picture of the water demon on the front page without flinching and the fear vanished. Humiliation had truly swept through me then when I realised what a-what a-how un-Gryffindor I had been.
Dominique Weasley had found me in the library then and with my puffy red eyes and hard-set expression she walked along my aisle and up to me.
"Are you okay?" she asked tentatively wrapping her pale freckled arms around the book she was holding.
No. "Yes," I replied but she didn't seem convinced.
"What's up?" she asked chirpily placing her book on the shelf next to where she was standing. It seemed she had forgotten about the book and if the librarians found Dominique putting it in the wrong place she'd chase her out the library but her fearless personality didn't take this into account and instead focussed her big blue eyes onto my watery ones.
"Sometimes it's hard to be Gryffindor," I said simply. "I'm not brave and there's this reputation to uphold." I looked down ashamedly waiting for her to attempt to be sympathetic and then walk away feeling like she'd done her good deed for the day by talking to a third-year.
"Don't get me started on reputation kid," she joked, "I'm a Gryffindor and a Weasley-you can't get anything bigger to live up to than that."
I chuckled with her timidly and smiled slightly. I took the book and placed it on the shelf, in the wrong place, next to Dominique's book. I smiled goofily at the older red-haired girl.
"We are going to get in so much trouble for that," Dominique grinned cheekily and I laughed. I looked at the book warily wondering whether I should move it but decided against it.
"I think it's quite a Gryffindor thing to do," I smiled before adding more quietly, "I haven't been much of one lately-I sometimes I think I'd be better off in another house."
"Listen kid," Dominique said making her voice low and quiet before peering round the aisle to make sure no one had joined us. "The sorting hat considered putting me in Hufflepuff before it decided on Gryffindor."
"Really?" I asked shocked and sceptically. "But-but you're a Weasley!"
"See what I mean about reputation," she said knowledgeably and giving me a knowing look.
"Why did it nearly put you there?" I asked, trying to think of a young Dominique Weasley on the stool in front of everyone putting the ragged sorting hat on.
"Probably because I keep helping these little kids," she joked and I laughed along with her peals of joyous laughter, "I'm not the only one who wasn't nearly sorted in Gryffindor."
"Really?"
"Yup," she said before reeling off some name, "My big sis was nearly put in Ravenclaw, Molly was nearly put there too, erm, Lucy-Hufflepuff, Louis-Slytherin, James says he was considered for all of them-even Slytherin but he would never admit it-"
"James Potter nearly wasn't in Gryffindor?" I asked amazed.
"He's in your year isn't he?" Dominique asked, "You're a third year right?"
"Yes," I answered, amazed that Harry Potter's son might have been placed in a house that wasn't the same as his father's. "I don't believe you."
"Okay then," she said moving towards the end of the aisle, "let's go and find him then."
"We-we-w-I can't g-go and s-speak to James P-Potter!" I said worriedly.
"Sure we can," she said before dancing off leaving me to trail behind her to go and find...
James.
James.
A fresh wave of pain hit my cold chest as I snuggled up further into the covers which were unusually cold but I realised...it might have just been me. Every time there was a fear plaguing my head I'd train myself to overcome it but that was not something I could do this time. I couldn't treat him like a book; lock him away in the library and stare into his hazel eyes until the pain went away, stroke his face when my heart didn't break at his goofy, lopsided cheeky grin or his messy raven hair. Heartbreak hurts and there wasn't any way I could get over this type of fear...the fear of living without James.
James.
I chucked the covers aside and kicked my legs over the side of the wooden bed before wiping my eyes with tattered nails and walking over the mirror on top of the drawers by Nell's bed. I was a mess. "Aguamenti." The water rushed into a bowl and I splashed it on to my red splotchy face. I gave up trying to look remotely normal and I scraped my hair into a tear-matted bun. I transfigured my clothes to more comfy witch attire before leaving the dormitory in a mopey fashion.
I didn't realise my feet were taking me to the transfiguration classroom until I pushed open the heavy wooden door and saw the headmistress inside. Professor McGonagall looked elderly and her light brown hair had several silver stripes running through it but it was hardly visible as they were tied into a crisp bun which was hidden under her velvet, green hat. She wore circular spectacles which sat on the very end of her nose. To match her velvet, green hat she wore a long green gown which hid her shoes. Her eyes were a green clear colour which is similar to Albus Potter's but they seemed a lot harder and sharp then his. Her skin was becoming wrinkled because of her age but her face still seemed strangely young in many ways and her voice was very firm and didn't waver which any other women her age would have done.
"Miss Francis?" The stern headmistress said as I looked around at the classroom and noticed my surroundings, "I'm pretty sure you were staying at the Potter's for the holidays, what are you doing here?"
"I was-er-Professor-but me and J-James we fell out," I said, stumbling on my words.
"That's sad to hear," she said solemnly before muttering to herself and turning to the large blackboard in the classroom.
"What are you doing here, Professor?" I asked curiously wondering why the headmistress would be in the transfiguration classroom.
"Professor Dover has had a few problems with Peeves, with him being new to the school and everything, so he asked or not so subtly hinted for me to put his blackboard back into order," she explained and I saw the typical Peeves' scrawl on the board spelling out a few rude words that made me restrain a giggle as to not look immature in front of the headmistress. She waved her wand and the letters disappeared.
"Professor?" Something made me asked. "What do you think of the Potters?" I regretted it almost as soon as the 'P' word was ushered out of my mouth.
"They're great people with good hearts," she replied simply and continued to parade around the classroom like it was hers.
"Yes," I mumbled thinking anything but. "They are."
"Francis, why are you back at Hogwarts?" McGonagall asked turning around to face me and I shrunk.
"This place is like my second home. When things go wrong it's nice to be somewhere...familiar."
"I quite agree Francis, I quite agree." McGonagall looked round the transfiguration it some sort of awe for the place and her face was filled with nostalgia. "Was there any reason you came into this particular room?"
"No. Not really. I'll leave now."
"Okay Francis," McGonagall said and I turned to leave before adding, "Francis, if you're not doing anything at the moment could you help me with a little project for the school. I know it's not really my area but the third years are studying dark creatures in Defence against the Dark Arts and I've offered to help set up the precautions for a trip down to the black lake. Would you assist me?"
Thinking it was only to give me something to do I replied, "Of course, Professor." I walked towards the door with the Headmistress, "What are they studying?"
"Merpeople."
Heartbreak hurts. Thank you for reading. Please Review...J.P xx