Hey guys!

So, it's August. And I said I would post this summer, which as you can see hasn't gone over too well. But I've been suffering from intense writer's block with We Don't Get Fairytales. So I decided to write something else to clear my head, and this is what happened.

Most of this was random and rushed and I'm sorry that it sucks.

Usually, I would write some angsty pieces of crap. This time, it's my random, trying-to-be-humorous, piece of crap.

Normal - Cammie
Italics - Zach

keep calm and read on-;

Disclaimer - if you think that I am capable of writing Gallagher Girls, or anything mentioned in this story, then you are quite delusional.

…

"I'm bored."

"Same."

"What do you wanna do?"

"I dunno. You?"

"I dunno."

"We could go get some food."

"Nah, I'm suffering from something called broke-itis. It's when you have no money."

"Damn. I was hoping you would pay."

"Zach, you have a job. Meaning you have money. Use it."

"Nah. I prefer charming teenage girls and getting them to pay for me."

"Ass."

"You know you love me, Cam."

"I'm still bored."

"I'm still hungry."

"I'm still broke."

"We could always rob an old lady."

"Maybe a movie's less illegal?"

"Fine."

…

"I can't believe you're crying."

"Don't judge me—it's a sad movie!"

"No, it's not!"

"How is Titanic not sad? Everyone cries at Titanic!"

"I'm not."

"Well, you're a heartless bastard."

"Why am I friends with you again?"

"I'm just saying, Zach. Who doesn't cry at Titanic?"

"Me."

"But why?"

"Well, I don't see why it's so sad."

"HE DIES! How is that not sad?"

"THERE WAS ROOM FOR BOTH OF THEM. If she just moved over…"

"But they would've sunk!"

"Well, if they both died, then it wouldn't be sad."

"…how would that not be sad?"

"Then she wouldn't have to live without him or something. Like that Julius chick."

"You mean Romeo and Juliet?"

"Yeah, that."

"For the record, that was a sad movie too."

"You just cry at everything."

…

"Just shut up."

"No. You shut up."

"No. I am right, and you are wrong, therefore, you should shut up."

"No, I'm right. How could you even think that Buffy's better?"

"She slays vampires, for crying out loud. What does James Bond do, Zach?"

"Well—"

"Nothing compared to Buffy!"

"No, he picks up girls, kills people, etc."

"She. Slays. Vampires."

"Oh, yeah, cause those sparkly-ass things are so hard to kill."

"Actual vampires. As in, fanged blood-sucking leeches."

"Whatever, Cam."

…

"I'm still hungry, you know."

"Go in the kitchen and look for something."

"Nah, I'm too lazy to. Can't you get some for me, Cammie-poo?"

"Cammie-poo? Don't ever call me that again. And no."

"C'mon! I'll die of starvation!"

"I'm okay with that."

"Some best friend you are."

"The best, aren't I?"

"C'mon, Cam. If I die, who'll annoy you with dirty humor and tease you, meanwhile maintaining rugged good looks?"

"No one. That's the point."

"I'm not talking to you."

"Fine then. Starve to death, for all I care."

"…"

"Zach."

"…"

"Za—OW! Stupid paper cut."

"…"

"It hurts. It's bleeding."

"…"

"Look at that, it's all red!"

"…"

"And so are you. Why're you so red?"

"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"

"Oh, my god. That's so old."

"You're old."

"Wow, Zach, ten years old, are we?"

"I know you are, but what am I?"

"We should've robbed the old lady."

…

"Would you date me?"

"What?"

"Would you date me?"

"Why?"

"Just answer the question."

"Why though?"

"I dunno."

"Oh, c'mon. You wouldn't have asked for no reason."

"I dunno … have you ever thought of us?"

"…"

"Zach?"

"…"

"Earth to Zachary."

"Well … kinda."

"Really?"

"Yeah. But then I snap back to reality and realize how annoying you are."

…

"What's your favorite color?"

"What?"

"Your favorite color. Like red, blue, yellow…"

"I know what colors are. You're just so random today."

"So? You're annoying."

"I know you are, but wha—"

"OH, just answer me."

"…Brown."

"Ew, why brown?"

"Why not brown?"

"Well, it's the color of poo."

"Well, not the color of poo. Like … like your eyes."

"My eyes?"

"Yeah. Chocolate-colored."

"Really?"

"You know, now that I think about it, your eyes do look vaguely poo-colored."

…

"Ass."

"Crybaby."

"Dick."

"Poo-colored eyes."

"Your sense of humor has been going downhill lately, Zach."

"At least my comebacks don't suck. What's up with calling me body parts?"

"Fine, you don't wanna be called a body part?"

"I'd prefer it, yes."

"Fine. You're a Hufflepuff."

"YOU DID NOT."

"Oh, yes, I did."

"You did not go there."

"Um, I think I did."

"Twitchy little ferret."

"You're a foul, loathsome, evil little cockroach."

"Filthy little mudblood."

Gasp. "You've got the emotional range of a teaspoon, you know that?"

…

"I love you."

"I hate you."

"You know you love me… I know you care…"

"NO."

"Shout whenever… and I'll be there…"

"ZACH."

"You want my love… you want my heart…"

"DO NOT TOY WITH ME, ZACHARY."

"And we will never, ever, ever be apart…"

"GAH!"

"Are we an item—OW!"

"Do not."

"A simple 'Shut up' would've worked. You didn't have to tackle me."

"You singing Bieber? Yes, yes, I did."

…

"I feel bad for your mom."

"Why?"

"She birthed you."

"I feel bad for your mirror. Whenever you look in it, it shatters."

"I'd call you stupid, but that's an insult to stupid people."

"Not even Dementors wanna kiss you."

"I love you."

"Love you too."

…

So, sucked.

Reviews telling me how much you would like to kill me for sending you to a story that sucked are expected.

eyeheartyou;
-S