Disclaimer: I do not own League of Legends of Fate/Stay Night. That honor belongs to Riot and Type-Moon respectively.
KingofBeasts Productions Presents:
The Counter Guardian's Temptation: A League of Legends and Fate/Stay Night Fanfiction
"My, My, My! 'Tis rare I get a visitor in these here parts!"
Counter Guardian EMIYA did not hide his obvious disdain. The whims of Alaya sent him into a realm not of the world, an enchanted realm known as Runeterra. It is a land where it's version of the Age of the Gods. His purpose? To deal with an eldritch abomination that had sailed this universe's waters for centuries, offering mortals what can be summed up as "Deals with the Devil" to feed his everlasting hunger. He had been told to be wary when dealing with him; he had a silver tongue that could match a certain priest he knew.
For centuries, Alaya had always looked the other way, as he was a focal counter-point that maintained the world's balance, but he was getting out of hand. He had been helping himself too much as of late. Which meant he needed to be reminded who's boss.
"Forgive the shabby state of my current abode." The being in question, Tahm Kench the River King, grinned malevolently as he spoke in his smooth baritone as he motioned to the swamp they were in. The first thing EMIYA would note was that he was really, really huge. The grin the creature bore also revealed a row of jagged teeth "I'm usually away on business, so I don't really get visitors, let alone one such as yourself, Counter Guardian."
"So you know who I am?"
"But of course!" The giant catfish creature in a tuxedo and top hat guffawed "The ebbs and flows of the multiverse are not unknown to me, Mr. Hero. Ain't no place I ain't been, no place I can't go again!"
"Then you know what I'm here to do."
Almost with out warning, the red-clad Hero traced his signature scimitars, the black bladed Kanshou and its white counter part Byakuya, into his hands and hurled them straight into Kench before he could react. Having anticipated such an attack, Kench just chuckled as the two blades bounced off his thick hide. Even as EMIYA came at him with a new pair of blades, Tahm Kench remained relatively unconcerned.
"I must admit, I'm a little disappointed." The giant catfish lopped out his tongue, massive slab of muscle it was, and swung it at the Counter Guardian "I was just doin' the world a favor, culling the numbers so that humans don't overrun the Earth and all."
"Trace on!" EMIYA flipped in mid-air to avoid the gigantic appendage, summoning several swords that floated for seconds before hurling themselves at the giant creature. "You've gotten carried away as of late, River King! Thus Alaya sent me to put you in your place!"
"Funny you're so compliant, since the dear girl's the reason for yer current predicament, boy!" With dexterity unexpected of a creature his size, Tahm Kench shot his massive tongue out to grab the swords launched at him before swallowing them whole seconds later "Still, I admire determination such as yours! I bet yer ol' daddy Kerry's smilin' from the grave, seein' that his son's followin' that same damned path he did!"
Not letting this insult phase him, EMIYA drew his bow and began firing arrow after arrow at the gentlemanly monster. In response, Tahm Kench opened up his massive maw and regurgitated the swords he devoured earlier, launching them to counter EMIYA's barrage. Using this opening, the massive River King barreled towards his foe as fast as his legs could carry him, opening that giant mouth wide in an attempt to swallow him whole. While the Counter Guardian managed to side-step the attack, the shockwave sent him flying a few paces. He managed to regain his bearings long enough for him to land on his feet in a kneeling position.
Unfortunately, the Hero was caught off-guard as Kench's massive tongue shot like a dart and found it's mark. It took the wind out of his sails and knocked him backwards. His body bounced on the shallow swamp before landing in a heap.
"'I will save everyone'? 'I will become a hero of justice'? Foolish notions, if I ever heard 'em." The River King smiled sinisterly as he slowly the struggling hero "Son, if you can't even save a little girl, then don't even bother tryin' to play hero."
"Shut up!" A searing flash of light crashed into the River King's chest, forcing the lumbering creature back a few steps. What he beheld was the sight of EMIYA, his usually calm face contorted into a snarl, holding Caliburn, the Sword of Assured Victory, in his right hand.
All that did was amuse Tahm Kench even more.
"I bet you haven't brought that little toothpick out in a while, huh?" His huge grin did little to hide the malice glinting in his eyes "If you weren't already contracted, I'd have offered you a chance to be with your peerless knight in shining armor once more. Or perhaps that brilliant, fiery sorceress. Or even that meek little maiden of the Matou. Not that it matters, since you've failed them all in the end! That's what that sham of a dream has given you, boy! Naught but a desolate field of swords!"
"I am the bone of my sword."
Having finally had enough, EMIYA brought out his bow and broke the Phantasm in his right hand, increasing it's destructive power in exchange for shattering it's form. His once brown eyes showing his deadly intent as he took aim at the River King, who simply stood with arms open wide and a grin on his face, his laughter boisterous and unnerving.
"That's it, boy! Your anger! your despair! All these are what makes a truly sumptuous feast! NOW FEED IT TO ME!"
"CALIBURN!"
EMIYA launched his projectile, an arrow filled with destructive holy light, and watched as it collided with Tahm Kench. It's brilliance filled the swamping with blinding illumination. Just as quickly as it came, the light faded. The searing heat evaporated the water around the area they fought in, permanently scarring the landscape.
At it's epicenter stood Tahm Kench, a watery bubble protecting his person from the worst of the blast. It still singed his coat, though.
"You ruined my Sunday Best! Now that's just improper!" The River King shook his lumbering head for a few seconds before letting out a laugh that thoroughly confused the Counter Guardian, who was unable to believe that his target was still standing.
"Forgive me. My jubilation has gotten the better of me." Tahm Kench chortled before dusting himself off "You have provided me with a most adequate meal, so I shall acquiesce to Alaya's wishes, at least for the time being."
"That's it?" EMIYA asked with a raised brow "You'll just lay low for a while, just like that?"
"Indeed. Though perhaps I should focus my hunger elsewhere. I hear the League of Legends has the best table in all of Runterra, filled with the most succulent delicacies from all over. I salivate just thinkin' about it!" Tahm Kench grinned at the thought before turning to leave.
"Before I go, I simply must offer you a boon for the entertainment." The River King grinned malevolently before facing EMIYA.
"Thanks, but I don't intend to feed you everything I care for as payment." The Counter Guardian answered back sullenly
"Who said anything about a deal? Son, I offer you this favor free of charge! 'Sides, this is something you can do yourself." Tahm Kench let out yet another chuckle at the thought "Something that can maybe, JUST maybe, free you from the leash once and for all."
Emiya's brow was raised at this, but he let the River King speak anyway "I'm listening."
"If Alaya sends you back to a time before you became a hero like, say, that Grail War you were fightin' in, then you can kill your younger self. That way, you won't go on to live that miserable life you did." Tahm Kench grinned "I'm not entirely sure, but then again, Time's just another river."
He took off his top hat, bowed as well as he could manage, and uttered his goodbye he lumbered off into the distance. "I thank you for this most enlightenin' encounter. Best of wishes to you, Emiya Shirou."
Little did Counter Guardian EMIYA realize that sometime later on, he would try to do exactly just that.
The End.
A/N: This the King of Beasts and welcome to this little one-shot I wrote!
Morded: And he makes time for this, but can't finish up Clarent Blood Arthur!
Calm down, Morty. This is just a warm-up! Anyway, while I haven't used him yet, Tahm Kench is a champion I enjoy because of his background and his character in general. Then I imagined the kind of deals he could offer to other characters in fiction, regret filled EMIYA was the first to come in mind!
I also realize that he doesn't have any fics dedicated to him yet, so I hope this becomes the first Tahm Kench fic in many to come (and may his tag show up soon)!
Tahm Kench: I thank you, sir, for your most warm compliments! I hope to read more tales about my exploits in the future!
That being said, this is where I end this little one-shot. This is the King of Beasts, and I'll see you all next time!