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Summary:

"Just follow the yellow brick road." She wants to find her way home; she really does. Well, that's easier said then done in the bizarre life of a certain college senior, where it's virtually impossible to tell where to look for a path, no matter how much yellow she owns. But if she can learn to see what the crossroads lead to, maybe she find the glimpses of sun that can lead her to the place she's meant to be.

Prologue:

In every person's life, there are defining moments. And more often than not, these moments will decide the rest of our lives.

The trouble, of course, is we don't always realize the moments for what they are until afterwards. And sometimes, it's too late. Fortunately, it wasn't, for me.

Another thing: It's scary how many paths there are in life. Paths leading up to these moments, branching from them, showing how we act in these seconds can decide our lives. Sometimes we can choose these paths. Sometimes we can't.

Looking back, and thinking on these paths in life, I realize now that so many things could have been, but didn't, and so many things didn't have to happen, but did.

The twenties were an interesting time in my life, when I was looking for my place in the world. It's strange looking back now, realizing how my decisions led me, often inadvardently, to where I am. The funny thing is, the entire time I was traveling the road, I never once realized it was leading me to the place I needed to be to find love. The exactly right place at the exactly right time.

September 4, 2009

I've always hated Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz.

Why?...you might ask, if you were not an inanimate object I have decided to be my replacement for my best friend, who transferred colleges and was majoring in psychology?

…Shut up. I'm lonely.

The yellow brick road was so damn easy for Dorothy to follow, you see. Clearly marked. Sure, there were obstacles, but the friends along the way practically begged to be with her and always stuck by her, unlike most of the friends I've had. And leading her to the way that is (indirectly) back home, while I'm still searching for mine. I mean, this dorm is a dump! I need a real place to live, but with my salary, I can't afford anything better. And as for the obstacles, just let me at those stupid trees, and I'll show them what happens next time they attack a teenage girl.

Well, I'm not exactly a teen anymore, I guess. It feels like I just turned eighteen, but already, I'm twenty two and a senior in college. Time flies. Normally, I'd be happy for any excuse for college to end more quickly so I can get on with my life, but I feel like I need to hang onto time, this time. The last thing in the world I want is to have to move back home to my parents while I search for work, so I need to find a job. Pronto. But I never seem to have the time, and I'm barely living off the money from my jobs. The managers don't seem to like my personality- okay, maybe I'm just a little spacey- but word is spreading about the cute college girl who you should absolutely not hire unless you want her accidentally giving really incorrect change (in my defense, a five and a fifty look really similar), mix up orders (people don't realize how similar quessilada and spaghetti sound), and spill a bucket of water all over the floor (hey, I only put the bucket right in the center of the aisle. It was the customer who tripped).

Tomorrow- well, today now, I guess- is the first day of school, and I just realized I should have been asleep about an hour ago, probably. Hopefully, I don't sleep through my alarm again. Oh well, g'night for now.

-College Senior That Really Should Learn To Check Her Clock

September 5, 2009

I think I met Oz today.

You know how Oz is.

Well, I definitely met him. Walking into my Economics class (I'm majoring in it. Yawn. But my parents wouldn't pay for my education if I didn't. Though I don't plan on owing them anything; I'll pay them back every penny. If I somehow get my act together, which, at this point, seems highly unlikely, I must say.), I sat in a random seat somewhere in the middle of the extremely crowded lecture room.

We waited for class to start. Hum de dum, I'm bored. Doodled on your face a bit- sorry about that, by the way- and generally messed around. And then this guy came in and walks to the front of the room like he owns the place. He was kinda cute, I guess, not too old and spikey brown hair, but I seriously did not know what he was doing.

And then I proceeded to feel the most embarrassment I have ever felt for anyone, ever, for the next fifteen minutes. The poor doofus thought that this was Architecture, apparently, and wouldn't hear a word against the idea. I started to get annoyed at him, though, as he harped on in a bunch of ridiculous teaching styles, each more pretentious and fake than the last. Who did this guy think he was? The jerk was so sure of himself, and I found myself inwardly laughing with the rest of the class at the idiot who had somehow managed to get a job teaching at such a great university.

Frankly, I was glad to see him go, and could barely hold my laughter in with the rest of the class until he left. It was hilarious to watch him sprint frantically out of the room as if his life depended on it, to see that look of horror in his eyes.

His eyes.

Shit, why did I have to go and think of his eyes?

Not that they were cute or anything. Well, a little, I guess…But NO! That's not what I meant.

…He was really passionate about architecture. I looked into his eyes, and saw them sparking with love for designing boring old buildings. And though his words and personalities were fake, his eyes were real. They were determined. Maybe I should have decided to follow him to the other classroom. Maybe I should have asked him a question about architecture. Maybe I should have told him he was in the wrong room. Maybe I should have asked for his number.

Hah, no. But all I know is, I was not thinking of economics for the next hour or so of class. Only one thought was running through my head:

What the hell am I doing with my life?

And it occurred to me, I don't really have a clue.

-College Senior That Is Feeling A Little Lost