Disclaimer: Senselessness is the heart of fanfiction -- I mean, Kingdom Hearts doesn't belong to us. Harry Potter doesn't belong to us. This computer doesn't belong to us, but, shh about that...

A/N: Are you really asking "What is this?" We've said enough of that ourselves. We just thought it would be fun to write a crazy KH parody which involves lots of other series too! HP, Twilight, Prince of Tennis... that kind of thing. If there is any chance of anyone reading this and liking it and somehow wanting more, please give us your suggestions about future chapters... in a review, of course... ;)

Organization XIII as written by...

J. K. Rowling

Demyx was so excited! The red steam train, the owls, the cats, the slightly odd smell emanating from the locked carriage - he was going to Hogwarts! He was a wizard!

And so were a about a million other people, it seemed. All the compartments on the Hogwarts Express were full... what on earth was he to do? He didn't want to make this journey alone.

Just then, Demyx heard a shout behind him. "ROXAS?! WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU GONE?"

Demyx stared at the shouting boy in shock. He had already changed into his Hogwarts robes, and his hat... appeared to be on fire.

"Um... mate?" he said reluctantly, not really wanting to get involved. This guy was still shouting about Roxas, whoever that was, and the fire appeared to be spreading very quickly. But, the flaming-haired boy did not seem to care, and Demyx was more frightened than anything. Perhaps he should hide? He'd always liked small spaces, and the toilets were just nearby...

Yep. The boy was coming this way, and there was only one thing to do. Demyx bravely grabbed the toilet door's handle and wrenched it open. Not a moment too soon, either, because the boy now seemed to have realised that his entire body was in flames, and was rushing forward in a panic.

Demyx squeezed into the toilet cubicle, relieved that he had escaped. But why was it so small in here? Surely there should be more room in a toilet.

"Aghrr!" came a muffled sound from underneath him, and Demyx jumped up, surprised.

"Aghrr!" he screamed.

"Shush!" shushed the no longer muffled speaker, a boy about Demyx's age. "I'm h-hiding."

"Oh." Demyx understood that. "Sorry."

Dimly, there came the noise of the fire being put out, and a bossy voice rising over the chaos, "Oh, for heaven's sake!" it said. "If you're going to burn, then burn quietly, or you'll get all of us expelled before we even get to Hogwarts!" The voice continued ranting, gradually getting further away, and the two hiders looked at each other fearfully.

"I used to live in a cupboard under the stairs, same sort of size as this toilet," Demyx said conversationally. "I never had to share it before, except with the spiders..."

"M-my gran puts me in one sometimes... but Axel always rescues me..." his toilet-buddy replied shyly. "If you can call it rescuing..."

"Axel?"

"Oh, he's that boy outside who was looking for me..." There was a pause. "I-I'm Roxas Longbottom, by the way. W-what's your n-name?"

It seemed this boy was very shy, which suited Demyx fine. It was nice to see that he wasn't the only one a little nervous about all these new things.

"Demyx Potter."

Roxas' eyes widened. "You're Demyx Potter?"

The Sorting. What every wizard currently in the Hogwarts' Great Hall knew about. It just so happened that this bunch of first years only knew that they were in it - not what they needed to do.

"I heard there's a keyblade!" some random brunette with BIG feet babbled.

"I heard there's this giant monster that tries to kidnap people!" a small, red-haired girl chattered irritatingly.

"Well, I heard there's-"

"I heard there's a shut the hell up!" a curiously white-haired boy yelled.

"But -- but it was about a hat which actually does the sorting and there's like singing and it looks into your head and cool stuff!" the interrupted first year protested.

"Yeah, like that'd ever happen," the white-haired kid snorted.

At the end of the line, Demyx and Roxas stared at them. Why couldn't they just wait?!

"Professor Dumbledore, Professor Dumbledore! I heard there's a Philosopher's Stone at this school!"

"Nonsense my boy. Are you even a student here? I don't remember you at all."

"Um... perhaps you just forgot... eh, Al?"

"Yeah, nii-chan. He forgot."

"Well, why aren't you in class?"

"It was... cancelled, eh, Al?"

"Yeah, nii-chan. Cancelled."

"Well, off you go boys, anyway. I'm off to check if the Philosopher's Stone has been stolen."

"But, you said there wasn't even one her--"

"So YOU'RE Demyx Potter?"

"What?"

THE END.