Their Life as We Don't Know It

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonball Z or its awesome characters that I wish I could be like.

A/N: Well, I just love the k/18 couple. I had thought of lots of different plots about them, but there was so much and the plots where kinda too short to make into different stories. So I'm just doing a bunch of random oneshots in one story. Some of these won't even be about Krillin and Juuhachigou, but with them separate. Are you getting this? Ok, it's like, one fic about Juu alone, then another with just Krillin. Oh, and 18's name is Juuhachigou because it sounds cooler, lol.

1: A Deadly Game of Chess: (I was originally gonna make this story separate and longer, but oh well!) "Juuhachigou, your knight can't move there. Or there. Hmm . . . you can't move your rook like that. Or that. And your king most definitely cannot move like that!"

Krillin watched nervously as one of Juuhachigou's eye muscles twitched in irritation.

"Stop trying to cheat me," she said angrily. "You told me that kings can move anywhere that they wanted to!"

"Yeah, I did," Krillin countered back as he ran a hand over his bald head. "But I'm pretty sure that going around one of my men to get to my queen as gotta be off-limits. Besides, you could've just jumped me. So now I'm taking that bishop of yours."

Juuhachigou narrowed her pale, azure eyes, suspicious. "I thought that only worked for checkers."

Krillin could've laughed, except for the fact that he might've gotten beaten into the next week for it.

"Chess, too," he told her as he reached forward for her brown bishop. "Your move."

Staring at the small man across from her to see his reaction, Juuhachigou moved her rook backward, careful not to let go just yet.

Krillin was alert on keeping his poker-face on, though her move was none too important to him.

"No! Not there!" Master Roshi shouted from behind Juu. "Don't move there!"

"Master, hush!" Krillin hissed sharply. "Just because you lost to me, doesn't mean you gotta spite me."

"But you cheated!"

"Oolong, outsmarting you is not cheating. Anyone can do it."

"Ggrrrr."

Master Roshi was ignoring the ex-monk, only studying Juuhachi as she moved her rook forward that time.

"Not there, either!"

Krillin tried to suppress his grin as Juu moved to the left, letting go completely.

"Way to go, Cute-Ass," Oolong muttered from his place on the couch. "You just murdered your rook."

And then Krillin fell onto his back, laughing hysterically. He could never forget the look of sheer shock when Juuhachigou had lost yet another man. The only guy she had left on the board was the king.

To Krillin's astonishment, and absolute terror, Juuhachigou swiped her hand across the board, scattering all the pieces. Then, her icy eyes full of anger and mischief, she leaned forward and stuffed the board down the front of his shirt.

"I'm taking a break," she declared coldly. "And objections?"

"Well, darn it, Juuhachigou; you quit the game before I could win! Can't we just—" Krillin froze as his opponent (or rather, ex opponent) glared daggers at him. Or maybe he would've gotten beaten into the next month.

"Mmm, never mind."

2: The Dirty Diaper Bet:

Krillin and Juuhachigou sat around a table at Capsule Corp., watching in incredulity as Bulma screamed at Vegeta to change Trunks' dirty diaper while she made them some tea.

"I can't believe Vegeta's started changing diapers without even complaining," Krillin murmured to his blonde companion.

Juuhachigou flashed him a cheeky grin, saying, "Twenty bucks says he cracks in two years and destroys Trunks because of all his damn, soiled Huggies."

"You're on!"

Two years later: "Cough up the money, Juuhachigou. Trunks is clearly not dead."

The blonde rolled her eyes. "Please. I was like, eighteen years old back then."

"Aw, no fair, Juu! You can use that excuse forever!"

"Sucks to be fully human, doesn't it Krillin?"

3: Music:

Krillin totally blamed Juuhachigou for the reason that their new car had exploded.

Maybe if she hadn't been so intent on her jams, that they would've had a new ride to show off to Yamcha and all his handicapped planes that always had bad karma for some reason.

It had went like this: Krillin was just minding his own business, flying their new wheels back home from the auto dealer joint, with Juuhachigou in the shotgun seat.

Krillin had been intently listening to some rap song, maybe even singing along, when Juuhachigou had reached forward and changed the station to some loud, rock song.

"Juu!" the ex-monk whined. "I was listening to that!"

The blonde merely shrugged. "When I don't like a song, I change it. Not too hard a concept."

"Well, why couldn't you have just told me?"

"Because I knew that you wouldn't have wanted me to change it," came Juuhachigou's blunt response.

Krillin frowned deeply, considering her reply. Did she really think so lowly of him? "You're wrong. I would've let you."

Juuhachigou smiled covertly. "Then may I?"

"Sure."

Only then did Krillin notice his flaw. "Heyyy!" he changed the station back.

Juuhachigou made a face. "C'mon, Krillin, rap is alright, but this song is just meaningless gibberish. I don't even think some of what she's saying is even words."

Krillin turned the wheel to the left. "She? I thought it was a guy! Plus, that rock n' roll junk is no better!"

"Of course it is. At least the song uses actual words. Tell me, Krillin, what's a porange?"

"Err . . . I think it's supposed to rhyme with orange?"

"Hmph, what nitwit doesn't know that not a word in hell rhymes with orange? And she calls herself a rapper . . . ."

"Juuhachigou, it's a he! And what about that crap that you want to listen to? It's not even music! Just a bunch of screaming. You know, I think she might be delivering."

"Ugh. Krillin, I know for sure that this one's a guy. Elvis maybe?"

"Elvis doesn't scream, Juu. That's more Michael Jackson." And then Krillin changed back to his song and nearly shrieked. "Dammit, the song's over!"

Juuhachigou grinned. "Gee, that's too bad." And she switched back to her station, but her song was over, too.

She scowled, punching Krillin in the arm. "I liked that song."

It was then that Krillin simply swerved outta control and crashed into a mountain.

See? All her fault . . . . 4: The Strictest of Them All: Everyone knew that Gohan was kind of a social-outcast when it came to what kids liked, because when he was younger, he was always fighting, or studying, or hanging with the adults.

And that's why, when he was stuck babysitting Goten and Trunks, he went to Krillin for help. But unfortunately, Krillin was just as lost as Gohan.

Eight year-old Trunks flopped heavily onto the red couch of the Kame House, grumbling, "You guys don't have to sit us, you know. We can take care of ourselves. We're freakin' Super Saiyans."

Seven year-old Goten was seated on the ground, in front of the couch, fiddling with a piece of string. "I just noticed something," he said suddenly. "Why're we being baby-sat? We're not babies and we don't need to be sat on."

"Well," Gohan started. "It's because Mom told me to and I don't listen to her, it means no dinner tonight. And Bulma told me that I had to watch you Trunks."

Trunks looked up at him, curious. "What was her threat on you?"

Gohan just shrugged, looking away. "Umm . . . well, your dad's a scary person, Trunks."

Trunks got the message. "Hmph . . . well, let me just say one thing . . . you're not really the strictest of them all, Gohan."

Now Gohan was interested. "What do you mean?"

"Well, it's just that you're not at all mean like our moms."

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"Kinda," Goten piped up. "Like, if we steal some cookies right before dinner, you won't hit us in the butt with a frying pan."

"Yeah, and if you don't, then that'll make it easier for us to take cookie," Trunks finished, smiling in satisfactory.

"Hmm, well, you are kinda gullible," Krillin chimed in from the other side of the sofa, munching on some cereal.

"But I bet you wouldn't beat us with a frying pan, either, Krillin," Trunks mused slyly.

Krillin frowned, thinking it over. "Well . . . I can think of something less horrible." Trunks grinned. "But Goten and I can handle anything less than frying pans. Face it, you guys . . . you weren't fit to baby-sit us. You're just not strict enough."

And then the smile on his face grew wider as he stood up and moved toward a lamp, outstretching a finger.

"So there would be no one to stop me if I did this . . . ." And next thing Krillin knew, his lamp was shattered on the floor with Trunks giggling away. Krillin stared at the crushed pieces, horrified. "Aaahhhgg! W-what've you done? Master Roshi's gonna kill me, Trunks! He's gonna kill me! I know you've never seen him serious before, but he'll do it!"

Goten was on his hands and knees, marveling over the broken remains. "Whoa . . . that was cool, Trunks. I wanna do some of that stuff, too!"

"No!" Gohan barked, Saiyaman-style. "No, you won't! Trunks, stop it, right now!"

The younger boys looked up for about six seconds, then busted into laughter. "G-Gohan, you're such a joke!" Trunks guffawed. "There's no way we can take you seriously."

Gohan didn't reply, his face turning a light shade of pink while Krillin still mourned over his broken lamp. Goten approached a potted plant and kicked it over. "Like that, Trunks?"

"Exactly!"

"Aw, c'mon, guys, stop destroying my house!" Krillin whined.

"Or what?" Trunks taunted. "You're too . . . kind to stop us. We need a tougher sitter!"

And then the two boys rushed into the kitchen. A plate crashed. A window smashed. A wall was kicked in. A chair was knocked over. More windows were smashed. A door fell off its hinges. A hole was blasted into the roof. Gohan and Krillin merely watched, gaping. And then the front door busted open, an angry blonde standing in the doorway, carrying bags of clothing. "What the hell happened in here?" she demanded. Despite themselves, Gohan and Krillin grinned and pointed. Hopefully, order would return to the Kame House. Whatever cackling Goten and Trunks had been doing at the moment stopped. The demi-Saiyan duo just froze.

Trunks spoke first. "Juu-Juuhachigou?" Juuhachigou gently set down her stuff, clenching her fists. "You're damn right, it's Juuhachigou!" Krillin crossed his arms, stating bravely, "Looks like you've found your 'strictest of them all' babysitter. Go get `em, babe!" Goten and Trunks's screams could be heard on the next island: "Ow, ow, Juuhachigou, that's my hair!" And, "Oooww! This isn't the world tournament anymore, Juu!" Or, "Dang, lady, you're crazier than my dad!"

5: How to Catch an Android . . . or her attention, rather:

Krillin was laid on his back on the red sofa of the Kame House, thinking of his future wife . . . or maybe just his future fiancée . . . ok; let's narrow it down to "future girlfriend." Nah, she'd probably just be nothing more than his future friend. Ok, let's get smart, Krillin, he thought. She probably wouldn't even want to be seen hanging around with me in the first place.

So future friend was out of the question.

Hmm . . . Yamcha said that girls like chocolates and stuff. Maybe I should give some to Juuhachigou . . . wherever the heck she is!

And why should I listen to Yamcha? His attempts at getting girls have always failed drastically. Bulma even ditched him for Vegeta!

But who am I kidding? I had my first girlfriend at like, twenty-seven! Krillin sighed. He wanted her to like him. He needed her to like him!

Well . . . Juuhachigou has to at least like me a little bit. I saved her life on more than one occasion and— scratch that! She believes that I only saved her so she could like me.

Darn it . . . she has such beautiful eyes. And her hair . . . how the heck did she get it that soft? I wanna try her conditioner . . . I'll grow my hair out, and then try her conditioner. Know what? Off topic.

Krillin wanted to scream at the ceiling. Where was she? Where had she run off to? How could he earn her attention? And hopefully love . . . ? Ugh, forget it. Maybe I'll just dress up in a little squire costume and sing at her window . . . ? I'm sure I can fit into one of those. Oh, darn . . . I'm not the best of singers.

Krillin tossed one of his shoes at a wall.

Why did she have to kiss me like that? Why? Taunt, or not, it just made the situation worse. Now you, Juu, are plaguing my mind! This is your fault! Your fault!

And then smiled faintly.

But I love it . . . I love thinking of her. It gives me such a rush. Hmm . . . maybe I don't even need a special gimmick. Juuhachi might think that I'm desperate. If I ever she her, I'll just shout, "Hey you! Remember me, Krillin, from C—?" Ok, ok, I think I'll just settle with the damn chocolates.

6: I love you:

I love you. Those words. Those three words. Why hadn't she told him, yet? Though they were married? Though they slept in the same bed?

Juuhachigou snorted at what she was thinking, watching the waves from the ocean roll in and out from her perch on the red roof.

It's a waste of breath, that's why, she thought bitterly. I don't have to tell him at all; he can see that I love him. No need to say it.

But that didn't satisfy her at the least bit. Because he still told her. He still told her that he loved her and when he didn't, he showed it instead. With his acts of kindness . . . with his kisses . . . with his gestures . . . with the looks he gave her that he thought were furtive. Juuhachigou swallowed thickly. I guess you have to do both, dammit. Why couldn't it have been something easy like telling Oolong that she loved him? Because she really didn't. It would be a whole less hard to tell someone you loved them when you didn't, she supposed. But she loved him. She loved Krillin and had agreed to spend the rest of her life with him. And now she would have to tell him. But then another thought comforted her momentarily: Maybe Krillin doesn't even want me to tell him. Maybe he likes a hard woman like me that doesn't pour her feeling out, and oh, forget it. How stupid.

Juuhachigou continued to stare at the sea, but now her fists were clenched in frustration. Fine, fine, I gotta use those overrated words, but how should I say it? Randomly?

Juuhachigou's mind played a "hopefully not the future" film where Krillin was drinking a can of soda while watching a movie and then she'd just walk up and say, "I love you." And then Krillin had choked to death.

Another thought was where he was washing the top Kame House window and had fallen out of the sky and broken his spine and neck after Juuhachigou had said the words. And one where he'd fallen down the stairs. And drowned. And accidentally stabbed himself with a knife. And shaved himself too— Ok, ok, Juu, shut up with these damn thoughts! It's just three lousy words! Why am I so uneasy about it? This is Krillin, we're talking about!

And that got her courage together. She didn't care anymore. It was now or tomorrow. Now or the day after that. Who was she kidding? It was now or . . . probably never.

Juuhachigou sighed and flew down onto the grainy sand— where she bumped into Krillin. Fate sucks like that. "Hi, Juu-Chan," Krillin greeted solemnly. "I was thinking about how much I love you."

And sometimes, fate rules like that! Juuhachigou had gotten lucky. All she had to say was— "I love you, too, Krillin."