My parents were mad as hell when I got kicked out of Pencey. I mean, I was all, good riddance, who cares about that goddam place, with all the rich snobs and phonies, I didn't care at all, well okay fine, maybe I cared just a little bit, but I was glad as hell to be back home, but anyways, I could make you bored as hell with the details of their terrific long lecture, but anyways, they wanted to teach me a lesson about goddam responsibility and stuff, and then they just about killed me when they told me they wanted me to go get a goddam job. It was no use arguing, 'cause when they glare or something like that at you, you know they mean it.
It just killed me, going up to that goddam fake smiley building, pretending like it didn't serve crappy cheap food to cheap people, who were probably too poor to go to the A&P and just buy a sandwich or something. Anyways, I got the goddam job, so now I have to work at the goddam town McDonalds.
So here I was, whamming goddam burgers and putting together happy meals, which was a stupid as hell name for them, 'cause it's not like it's going to make people happy or anything when they croak from mad cow disease or whatever goddam disease the cheap food here has, like one day, the meat shipment was out in the goddam sun all day before the boss said I had to bring it in, and it was all covered in goddam maggots and all, and all the idiot boss had to say was to fry it a little goddam longer.
So today, the boss comes up to me and says, "Hey, you, Colbin whatever, I need you on front counter as well because we're a little short today, the guy who normally works the counter accidentally ate a Big Mac on his break and now he's in the hospital". Oh, yeah, another thing, the goddam boss never says my name right, I mean, how hard is it to say Holden, but whatever. I was thinking, boy, what kind of idiot would actually eat a burger from here as I went to the goddam counter, to take peoples orders, as if I really cared what kind of crappy food they wanted to eat. Then, the boss went around the tables, trying to butter up the idiots who bought food at his goddam restaurant. For chrissakes, it just killed me to watch him going around the tables in his ugly polyester suit which he probably hadn't washed since he became manager of this crappy restaurant, with his terrific bald patch, and his phony smile and laugh, pretending like he was actually stupid enough to eat one of his own goddam burgers, I mean, it must be pretty easy to be a goddam manager, if all you have to do is wear an ugly suit and pretend you actually care about your goddam customers business.
"Excuse me, are you even listening?", asked a fat lady, waving her goddam flabby hand in my face. "Forget it, I'm going to Burger King", she snapped, turning and huffily leaving scuff marks on the goddam floor that I'd probably have to clean later. The boss oozed over next to her, and put his goddam hairy arm over her shoulder, and began talking to her in a sweet, phony voice as he gave me a death glare, which meant he was obviously mad as hell. He promised the lady a free burger as he led her to a table, as if she needed the extra goddam calories. All this fake phoniness and smiles just killed me, I mean, I wanted to die right there, and I swore that someday the boss would find himself tied up with french fries, which I'm pretty sure are really made with goddam plastic and stuff, and gagged with a burger.
It was just my crappy luck that made it so the only goddam place in town that was hiring was McDonalds, I mean, the last kid who was hired here was probably a death by french fry or something. I wanted to do something terrific to get fired, but with my crappy luck my parents would make me get a new job at the goddam town garbage dump.