This is a sequel to my Beth/Governor oneshot "Moonlight Visits" but you don't necessarily have to read that one. Anyway I didn't plan on making a sequel but I LOVE these two so much and I just had to once I got the idea. It was so random, too...I was watching the S6 premiere Sunday night and I got inspired with the whole Morgan holding Judith scene, lol...anyway I hope people love this, even though it is kind of really bad, lol. :) I still love how it turned out, though.
I figured it would be realistic Beth and Philip would receive backlash. :(
And, fair warning, there is a fair amount of swearing in this. I don't swear in real life, really, but when I write if I think a character would, I put it in to make it more realistic. So I hope it does not offend anyone.
And, one last thing: I do love Rick on the show, (though not as much as I loved Philip, obviously, lol) but I think he would be this big of a jerk if this had ever happened on the show. So I didn't write him this way because I hate him, but because I think he only would have reacted this way giving what happened...ah, you'll see what I mean! So I hope people don't hate that...believe me, I love Rick Grimes too as much as the next Rick fan, lol!
Anyway I hope people enjoy this! :)
Some days Beth found that simply Philip's sweet, loving kisses alone sustained her through the constant pain and humiliation they both were forced to endure.
To her heartbreak, Maggie wouldn't even speak to her, and instead would glare daggers at her every day. And, of course, at the man Beth loved. Glenn just seemed shocked, and, while he was not cold towards her, he no longer talked to her either, she suspected from Maggie ordering him not to.
Rick still talked to her, but he too stared at her with that same dumbfounded expression…that expression that caused her insides to burn with shame and humiliation. That are you truly feelin' okay Beth and in your right mind lookand that out of all the men in the world you're honestly with him look. That same pity and sympathy that suggested maybe she was being drugged by Philip and it was perfectly all right to say so… That gentle pity and disbelief that the nice (though sadly few) people at the prison looked at her with.
Carl, of course, was a lost cause. Daryl didn't even know what to say, so he said nothing to her either. And everyone else was pretty much the same from their original group; either angry with her or looking at her with pity.
But that was almost nothing compared to everything else…everyone else was much, much worse. Actually cruel… And she honestly didn't know how much more of it she could take before she broke, and she feared Philip wouldn't be able to catch her before she fell.
Beth just stood in the stall, just listening. She could hear the other girl's catty laughs and snotty, snide comments, and though her insides felt shriveled up and she felt more than humiliated, she still felt anger and disgust at their words, too.
They honestly had no idea she was even in here with them…
A gaggle of former Woodbury girls Beth's age were giving themselves makeovers before dinner in the gray prison bathroom, and, of course, gossiping about the prison's favorite couple to make fun of in secret.
"She's so pathetic!" one girl finally said, brushing her hair out. Smirking, she said, batting her eyelashes in the mirror mockingly, "Hi, I'm Beth Greene, and I'm just a perfect, dorky little goody-two shoes angel. I just sing all the time, take care of a child that's not mine and act like its freaking mother…and I'm also that pathetic girl that gets weak in the knees every time the one-eyed man I love even looks at me, and I can't help but blush every time he even smiles at me!"
The other girls laughed, and the one who had spoken gagged.
"Seriously though," she continued, cackling, "it's so hilarious watching the two of them at breakfast every morning. Just her dopey expression says it all. And he's always so touchy-feely with her and smiling so much at her it's like really, just really freaking gag worthy. I would kill to still have I-phones…just getting the pictures would be priceless. Her face is always so red. And you can totally tell they probably get little to no sleep every night, they probably fuck so much…news flash, cover the hickeys your axe-murderer of a lover leaves on your neck better!"
The words burned, and Beth couldn't help reddening slightly, fingering the love marks on her neck…but she had been covering them up as best she could…were they honestly that noticeable?
One of the other girls spoke, snidely. "They totally were doing it almost the entire night the other night. Remember, when the rest of us were listening to scary stories because of the rain? Nobody saw them after dinner and they were the only two not there, and they didn't show up until it was basically over. And come on, you don't get hair and clothes that messy from just talking. Both of them totally were trying to cover it up and failing. Everyone was gossiping about what they were totally obviously doing for that long in between stories before they showed up. I thought her father was going to kill everyone that was."
The cruel laughter was near deafening, and now Beth blushed profusely, blinking back tears. Oh god…everyone had known that they had been making love?
Closing her eyes, she almost could have ran out then…But that night just a few short days ago had been so beautiful…and it had been highly preferable to both of them to skip the prison festivities and be away from everyone's gossiping eyes and ears and hate for a few fleeting, wondrous hours and be in their own little beautiful, private world, the cellblock that was private and all theirs…
It had been a month since she had first lost her virginity to him, and she couldn't deny that since they had consummated their love on that night, the best night of her life, their passion and longing for each other had only increased…And she was just as eager to make love with Philip as he was with her…
But she was pulled from her thoughts by the first girl speaking again.
"She was totally a virgin before him, you can totally tell. But…god…I actually really wonder what their sex life is like. She probably does whatever he wants…and I bet he's into some really rough fucked up shit."
"I guess she's not so innocent after all," another girl said, and they all laughed again.
The girl who'd started the gossip initially chimed in again.
"God…just wait until he knocks her up. She'll be even more annoying then…Then she'll be smiling and blushing even more and even more lovesick and singing lullabies to her stomach every day, even after puking her guts out every morning, just waiting until their bastard love child arrives!"
Now the other girls were cackling, and she smirked, continuing.
"I wonder…will it have one eye, too, just like its daddy?"
Beth bit her lip, tears threatening to fall. And now they were almost whooping with laughter.
And, again, she spoke, but this time the words caused Beth to sober.
Gagging, she said, "Really, though, I really wonder how she can even fucking stomach him touching her. If I were her my skin would crawl! He's a psychotic freak! And I heard he used to have a daughter, and he kept her alive in his apartment after she was a freaking zombie! What kind of sick freak does that? Be a man and fucking shoot her! She's dead!"
The other girls all shuddered and agreed, even as they laughed.
White-hot anger shot through Beth all of a sudden, and she couldn't bear to stay hidden any longer. They could tear her down all they wanted, but they had no right to call him such hurtful, disgusting, mean things, or to tear him down at all. She would not stand for it.
She continued, and Beth's anger only grew.
"And nothing says sexy like a big disgusting hole in your eye-socket!"
That was it. Beth finally steeled her jaw and opened the stall, and, she had to admit, the expressions on all of their faces were absolutely priceless.
Speaking calmly, making sure to look at all of them as she spoke, she said, "Not that mine and Philip's relationship is any of your business, but yes. I love him more than anythin' in the whole wide world, and he loves me just as much, and we're very happy together. He's the sweetest, most carin' man I've ever known and he's always so gentle and lovely to me. And for your sakes, I really, really hope you all find that some day with the man of your dreams, because it's the best feelin' in the world to have that kind of love from the one man you want in the world to love you. And it's truly sad that you all are so warped and mean you feel the need to tear down others just to make yourselves feel better."
They all looked shocked, still, but were recovering quickly, their smirks returning, their cruel amusement clear.
"How does it feel when he touches you?" one taunted.
They all laughed again.
Beth simply breathed in deep.
"For the record I love makin' love with him. He's always so sweet and gentle and romantic with me, and he never pressures me. He makes me feel so beautiful and loved. It's like I'm flyin' when we're together and I'm the luckiest girl in the world. I honestly do feel that way."
They still looked amused, smirks growing even wider, and Beth finally decided to take her leave, unable to bear being around them any longer, but not before one last parting shot.
"But don't worry…to answer your question from earlier, when we're both feelin' up to it we're plenty rough. The hickeys on my neck are nothin' compared to other parts of my body you can't see right now. Have a nice night."
She simply breathed in deep again and left, and now the laughter behind her was almost explosive.
"Oh my god! Did she really just tell us all that? She's such a freak!"
"Just like him!" And then more high-pitched laughter…
Just ignore it. Just ignore it. They're just words. They can't hurt you.
She knew they were, but somehow, they still smarted.
Philip couldn't help the rage that was slowly building deep inside of him as he listened to the guys Beth age continue to speak.
They were really so stupid they thought nobody could hear them, didn't they?
And he may only have had one eye, but he still possessed two working ears, and they worked more than fine.
He simply leaned his head back against the wall, and tried to control the urge to pummel the asshole that was speaking to a bloody pulp.
Thinking of Beth helped calm him down, and make him not want to do it, but it was hard to control it…his blood still boiled as he continued to listen, and his heart was racing.
A little group of guys Beth's age was talking in the kitchen, while almost everyone else was gone for a supply run.
Of course, one of the rules of his beatings being lifted was that he could never leave the prison, but even if he could have, he still didn't think he could bear to put Beth through that worry.
Beth had been taking care of Judith, and needed some more formula heated up, but he'd volunteered to do it for her.
And honestly Philip was glad he had, because he could only imagine how she'd feel if she could hear what they were saying about her.
"God…she's such a whore! And such a brain-dead slut!" The boy who had been speaking laughed, and the others all followed suit.
Philip made himself stay hidden, but he bit his lip so hard he was honestly surprised he was not tasting his own blood.
Another spoke. "She's probably broken in plenty now from him, if you know what I mean."
They all jeered, and god did he want to kill all of them…
The one who'd spoken first spoke again. "She probably lets him fuck her every night, she's such a slut. But god…I really wonder what's so great about him, when she could have any guy here. Or really, maybe she probably would fuck every guy here if she could. Wouldn't surprise me."
It would be so easy to bash all of their faces in…it really would.
But he continued speaking. "But, hate to admit it…Beth is really hot. Even hotter than Maggie…she may be an idiot, and a slut, but I sure wouldn't mind making her scream like the one-eyed freak does…think it'd work if we all tag-teamed her one day…?"
They all laughed again, and then Philip finally had enough. White-hot anger whipped through him, and he finally entered the kitchen.
To his satisfaction, all of them looked terrified, but that still wasn't enough.
Philip said, "I wouldn't continue that sentence if you knew what was good for you."
But the main guy who had been speaking recovered quickly enough.
"You going to kill us? I'd like to see you try."
And Philip couldn't help shaking his head, unable to comprehend how teenagers these days were so dumb.
"No, I'm not goin' to kill you…though I really do want to. You're, what, sixteen?"
He grew irate, and he said, "I'm eighteen, jackass, same as your…"
But he broke off, but Philip had an inkling of what he had been going to say about Beth, and was sure it would have been derogatory.
Yet Philip continued, choosing to ignore it, though it was difficult.
"Eighteen, sorry, my mistake. It's just when I was your age my voice had changed already and I could actually grow facial hair."
Rage turned on the younger man's face, and Philip couldn't help smirking a little inside.
"Go ahead, do it. Throw a punch."
And now Philip almost could have laughed, if he still weren't so angry.
Shaking his head, he said, "Sorry, but I'd much rather go against a Biter. I would actually get roughed up in that fight. And I could punch you so hard you'd be in a coma for a year and your dick would go all the way up your ass permanently. But be my guest."
Silence, and then Philip moved forward, grabbing him by the shirt collar threateningly.
The others all moved away, undeniably frightened.
Speaking softly, his blue eye never leaving the young man's face in front of him, Philip said, "But make no mistake, and this goes for all of you. If you ever speak about Beth that way again, or ever lay a hand on her, or ever hurt her in the way I heard you speakin' about right before I came in, or hell, even look at her…death will look very good indeed in comparison to what I will do to you."
He meant every word he spoke, and hoped the message would sink in.
To his further satisfaction, the little jerk's face was almost pale white.
Slowly, Philip released him, and finally, the kid spoke, one last time.
"You can't do anything to us. You'll get kicked out…or get shot."
Philip finally said, staring darkly at him, "Well if that's the price I'll have to pay for defendin' the woman I love, then that'll be more than worth it."
Staring witheringly at all of them as he finally walked forward to gather the formula, they all scattered, and his jaw was still working as he heated the formula. He only hoped Beth wouldn't wonder why it had taken so long.
But Beth couldn't help blinking back tears as she quickly walked back to the cellblock. She had wondered why it had been taking him so long when it really should have taken only minutes, and had heard every word of what the guys her age had said about her…and every word of Philip defending her.
It warmed her heart that he had done that, and she couldn't help loving him even more, but the words and insults about her from the guys her age still hurt, and she couldn't seem to forget them.
But she would let herself cry later. She didn't want Philip to see her cry…not at all. But with every step she took, her heart still cracked a little.
Finally, she was alone, and she could only pray that she would be done crying before Philip came back.
Everyone else was at dinner, and she had lied, saying she had forgotten something back in their cellblock. Philip had offered to get it for her, but she had politely declined, smiling that fake smile at him that she was so good at these days.
Dinner usually lasted awhile, though, and had just begun, and that gave Beth relief.
Sitting on their cot, Beth finally buried her face in her hands in her lap and silently cried, her tears finally escaping.
All the words and insults she had heard about the two of them from practically the moment they had made their relationship public a month ago were running through her mind, and she couldn't forget them. It was like they were taunting her.
But if possible, the words she had heard just earlier today somehow hurt the most.
Was she really a whore and a freak? Was that how everyone else saw her? Was that what Maggie thought she was now? Or, somehow, even worse…was that what Philip saw her as secretly?
She knew she was likely being ridiculous, but her insecurities wouldn't let her think otherwise.
Why did everyone have to be so cruel and judgmental? Why couldn't everyone be like her daddy?
She had forgiven him for absolutely everything he had done, and loved him with all her heart. And the man he truly was truly wasn't the man who had terrorized them for so long.
She wasn't an idiot, though. She knew some wounds and actions ran too deep to be forgiven, and she knew Daryl would never forgive him for what he had taken from him, as well as Maggie and Glenn, for what he had done.
She knew that, she did, and she knew every single bit of what he had done was absolutely awful. But she also knew that Philip hadn't been in his right mind for so long, especially after Penny had been killed, and that he truly had lost every single trace of himself along the way.
And she did know full well he regretted every single thing that he had done, and would never forgive himself for all his sins. And she knew full well that the real Philip Blake, the man that she loved and who loved her, wasn't a monster, and wasn't the stranger he had been when he was The Governor.
But…the group wasn't perfect, either. Daryl, and Merle when he was still alive, had once been criminals, and yet they both had been accepted with open arms…true, more so Daryl than Merle, but it had still stood. And people could change. And forgiveness truly was everything…
And she was sure that a man, if he truly were evil, wouldn't regret horrible things that he had done, nor worry about them.
And she knew Philip did. She knew he truly was a good man, and had never meant to become the man he had been before…the man who wasn't really him…
Thinking of him again, she still managed to feel butterflies in her stomach, despite how she felt at that moment, and couldn't stand it as she dwelled on the pain the words said about them both made her feel…she truly did love him, and he made her so happy, and she couldn't bear to be made fun of with him, or be laughed at in secret. It wasn't fair. They didn't deserve that.
More tears escaped, and Beth couldn't help beginning to sob in earnest. And somehow she knew she wouldn't be making it to dinner.
Philip was more than worried. He still hadn't eaten and Beth still hadn't shown up, and dinner was half over.
He decided to go and look for her, making sure to check the cellblock they shared first.
His heart stopped and his stomach sunk as he opened the door, and sure enough, he could hear her crying.
But, at the sound of the door opening, Beth gasped, and hastily wiped her eyes on her sleeve, sitting up.
"Philip…why aren't you eatin?" she said, trying to keep her voice from quavering.
But he made no reply until he was right in front of her, and he could tell that her eyes were red. And his heart broke at the sight.
Of course…he could tell that something had been bothering her when he had finally brought the formula back, almost looking as though she was going to cry, but she had smiled and hastily insisted that she was fine…and he hadn't wanted to make her tell if she didn't want to, thinking maybe it was something she was embarrassed sharing with him…maybe menstrual cramps or something of the sort, but now he knew it wasn't that…
And she was so easy to read.
Sitting down beside her, gently lifting her onto his lap, he said, softly, his heart breaking into little pieces at the clear sight of her pain, "Beth, darlin,' what's the matter? Please, tell me. I was worried about you. And don't lie…I can tell somethin's botherin' you."
Philip reached out and stroked her face, and finally, Beth couldn't hold back the floods of tears any longer.
Her vision becoming blurry, she could feel the hot tears falling onto her lap, and she shook her head.
"I…I just can't take it any longer, the way everyone gossips about us…they…they say the most hurtful things. I…I heard, earlier, what those guys said about me…I…I was wonderin' what was takin' you so long with Judith's formula and I…I heard."
Rage ripped through him again, at the knowledge she had heard everything those bastards had said about her, but his heart still ripped in two for her.
"I'm so sorry you had to hear that, darlin'" he said softly, reaching out and wiping her tears away, kissing her on the cheek.
"But those idiots don't know anythin' about you…what they said wasn't true. Don't ever believe that it is."
His words comforted her, but not nearly enough to stem the pain as she remembered last night, how the Woodbury girls had been gossiping about the two of them.
"It's…it's not just that…I…it was so humiliatin'…last night, I…I was in the bathroom, and these girls that used to live in Woodbury that are my age were in there…they…they didn't know I was there, and they…they said the most awful things, too.
"And…god…everyone knew! Everyone knew what we…we were doin' the other night, when everyone else was at the prison activity," she said, looking at him, more tears falling, her face burning.
"That we were makin' love…I heard them. They…they said everyone was gossipin' about it in between stories. That's just so…so humiliatin'…and…they…they said the most horrible things about you, too. I…I just couldn't take it, so I made myself known after awhile. I was calm, but…I…they were still laughin' about us after I left."
He felt more anger towards everyone else, and more pain at the sight of her tears.
Philip kissed her hair, rubbing her back.
"Don't listen to them, darlin'" he said softly. "They don't hate you, they hate me. Your family doesn't hate you; they hate me. And I'm so sorry I'm the cause of all of your pain."
But at his words, Beth couldn't help her jaw from dropping, and shaking her head earnestly.
"No, you're not! Don't ever think that! I love you so much, and I just want to be with you. I'm the luckiest girl at this prison."
And here Beth leaned forward and kissed him, and he was reminded of every beautiful night she had visited him, when he had still been being beaten every night. When their relationship had still been a secret.
Then, she had been the one comforting him. And now, Philip wanted nothing more than to comfort her…
But more tears fell, and Beth couldn't help from asking the question she most feared the answer to.
"I…just….Philip? Am I…really…really a whore? Like those guys said about me? And a freak? Is that what you secretly think of me?"
She looked at him, then, her heart in her mouth, and the pain and fear on her face made his heart bleed for her. As well as the fact that she honestly thought he really thought that of her…
Slowly shaking his head, Philip leaned forward and kissed her, making sure it was as gentle as possible.
"Beth, darlin,'" he said, almost whispering, holding her face in his hands, "don't ever think that I think that about you. You are the furthest thing from a whore, and you are not a freak. You're the most beautiful, sweetest, most innocent, most wonderful woman at this prison, and I love you more than anythin'…and it breaks my heart to see you like this."
Relief flew through Beth's stomach, and she couldn't help more tears from falling, though now from relief more so than anything else.
But all the insults still hurt, and suddenly, she couldn't help burying her face in his warm chest, sobbing anew as she remembered them.
His heartbeat soothed her, and the feel of him holding her did wonders for her, though she was still in pain.
"I…I just can't take this anymore," she said softly, and he gently kissed her head, letting her cry for as long as she needed to.
A week later, Philip couldn't help smiling as he watched Beth with Judith.
She was so adorable and sweet with the baby, and he couldn't help from falling in love with her even more than before.
"Oh shoot, I forgot," she said, kissing Judith on the cheek.
"I forgot her formula. I thought I had it, but she hasn't eaten in awhile and she'll be hungry. I'm goin' to go warm it up. Here. Can you hold her, please, while I do?"
The question caught Philip off-guard, and he was shocked. He slowly shook his head.
"Oh…darlin' that isn't such a good idea…Rick will not like that…"
She smiled a little. "Rick's gone with almost everyone else on that supply run. He won't even know, and I hate havin' to just lay her down without someone holdin' her…she needs comfort and human contact as much as possible. Please? It'll just take a second, and she's the sweetest little thing."
Staring at him with those big blue eyes, he was pretty much helpless. And so Philip relented, still more than sure this was a very, very bad idea.
She smiled brightly, depositing the warm, squealing little bundle in his arms. She kissed him on the cheek.
"I'll be back as quick as I can," she said, running out of the block.
Philip felt more than awkward and more than unsure as he stared down at the little girl who was smiling brightly at him.
Crack. A piece of his heart snapped off, and suddenly, unbidden, for a moment, all he could see was Penny when she had been a baby staring up at him, and all he could remember was the millions of times he had held her when she was small…all her smiles and squeals when he had held her at three in the morning, or rocked her in the bright white rocking chair in her nursery in her room…
He closed his eye, shaking his head, making the pain go away, and thankfully, this time, when he stared down at the child in his arms, it was Judith staring up at him.
She smiled and cooed brightly, and honestly, he couldn't help smiling.
If he was being honest, she really was an adorable and beautiful little girl.
Even if her father was a total and complete dumbass.
"Well hello there," he said softly, still unable to help smiling. "You're very happy today, aren't you?"
She responded by sneezing, but then she began making odd noises, almost as though she needed to burp, and he quickly responded.
Shifting her up more, her mouth dangerously near his shirt, he gently patted her on the back, speaking soothingly to her.
"C'mon…it's ok. It's ok…"
Judith burped loudly, and…of course…also let a huge wad of spit-up on his shirt.
But Philip couldn't help laughing, especially because she looked as happy as could be.
"Oh god…even you hate me, don't you?" he asked softly, still smiling at her.
But, to his alarm, suddenly her face scrunched up, and she began to cry.
Feeling terrible, he quickly got up and started walking her, soothingly bouncing her all the while, speaking softly to her.
"Oh sweetheart, I'm sorry…don't cry. Please don't cry…it's all right honey. It's alright…"
It took some time, but he just kept walking her, and finally, her tears stopped.
A little worried, he said, hoping she wouldn't start to cry again, "You feelin' alright sweetheart, now? I hope so."
Thankfully, the little baby smiled, and hiccupped, and Philip couldn't help laughing again.
Unbeknownst to him, Beth was watching the whole thing, and couldn't help from melting just a little at his sweetness.
But Philip was shocked and in horror at Judith's next actions.
Clutching at his shirt, she said, brightly, clear as day, "Da da!"
Oh. His brow furrowing, he said, feeling panicked, "Oh, sweetheart, I'm sorry, but I'm not your daddy! Your daddy's goin' to be back later!"
But she only smiled and repeated it, looking right at him, and Philip was almost positive his face was pale white.
Having grown so excited at Judith's finally saying the word "daddy" Beth couldn't keep herself hidden any longer.
Still clutching the warm formula bottle, she set it down, and said, looking brightly at Judith, "Oh! Did an adorable little girl just say daddy for the first time?"
She tickled her, and Judith only laughed, and Philip couldn't help smiling at how adorable the baby was, despite the panic and dread he felt swirling through his stomach.
"Oh god…see darlin? I told you this was a bad idea," he said, and Beth couldn't help laughing.
"Oh…she loves you! Don't you Judy?" she asked brightly, and Judith cooed a little.
Looking at her, Philip said, "She's never called Rick daddy? Or said it at all?"
Beth said, shaking her head, "No. But she's called me Mama plenty. It's a first for her."
Philip couldn't help smiling at how excited Beth was, though he knew he was in for it later.
"Oh god…she's very cute, but Rick's goin' to kill me. I would say your goodbyes now, Beth," he said, and Beth only laughed, leaning forward and kissing him.
"I was watchin' you, you know. You were very sweet with her."
Philip said, feeling a little odd, "You saw all that?" He was sure he had looked ridiculous…
Beth smiled. "I did, and you were as sweet as could be with her. And don't worry…Rick's not goin' to kill you. I'll smooth it over later. It was my idea for you to hold her. He'll just be mad at me, not you."
"You don't have to do that, Beth," he said, shaking his head. "You shouldn't have to take responsibility for that. Rick can pummel me all he wants. He'll leave you out of it."
Feeling touched, Beth said, "No. Or he won't pummel anybody. Maybe he'll take it well. Hopefully."
Yet, both of them knew that was a very, very slim possibility.
Later that day, just before dusk was going to hit and the last rays of sunlight were fading, Rick stalked over to where Philip was digging, the expression on his face murderous.
Beth had wasted no time upon the supply run group's return in saying how it had been her fault and her idea for Philip to hold her, as well as what Judith had said, and that he shouldn't be mad at him…and Hershel had helped her try and smooth it over.
But this had not helped. Beth gasped as she stood up from where she'd been sitting on a red blanket with Judith, and couldn't help running over to where they were, standing so they formed a triangle. But she wasn't so close to them that she could stop them quick enough if things turned violent.
Staring around, everyone from the prison was watching the three of them, to her embarrassment…
Philip held out his arm placatingly to Rick, dropping the shovel.
"Rick…I know why you're so upset, and believe me, I would be too. But Beth didn't force me to hold her…she just had to go get formula. I take full responsibility. But I can assure you, I did not hurt her in any way, and it won't happen again. She's a very cute little girl…"
Rick's jaw worked, the usual warmth in his blue eyes replaced by an icy coldness.
His mouth contorted, and finally he spoke. "Damn right it won't, because you are not her father!"
Philip said, calmly, "I never said I was…"
Rick's left eye twitched. He moved closer to the taller, slender man in front of him.
"I'd like to know where in the hell you get off thinkin' you can interrupt me when I'm speakin' to you. In case you've forgotten, this ain't Woodbury anymore! I'm the leader here, not you, and you need to shut your fuckin' mouth when I speak to you, Philip. Is that clear?"
Philip nodded, and Beth spoke, desperate.
"Rick…I'm sorry…but it was all my idea, and all my fault. Yell at me, not him…"
Rick turned to her, his jaw still working. "Beth…this is between me and him…please don't interrupt me…"
Philip said, "Rick…I'd watch how you talk to her if I were you."
Rick looked back at him, finally snapping.
"Oh shut the fuck up! But now, I'm goin' to tell you how it is. You have no right to hold my daughter, or spend time with her, or even so much as look at her! The only people that are allowed to do any of those things are everyone else in the prison but you. Just because you're with Beth, that does not mean you are entitled to any of the same privileges as the rest of us that she's entitled to. That does not make you one of us. Because you are not one of us, and you will never be one of us. Do I make myself clear?"
Silence. And Beth was near tears.
Rick repeated himself, growing louder. "I said, do I make myself clear?"
Philip nodded. "Yes."
Rick's expression contorted even more. "You know you're damn lucky we stopped the beatings, and that you're even still alive. You are here as a perpetual prisoner, chained or not, and if you ever so much as even look at my daughter again, I will fuckin' kill you. Do you understand me?"
Philip nodded again.
Rick sneered, suddenly, then. "As if you could ever be Judy's father," he said.
Silence. And then Rick spoke again.
"Especially considerin' what a fantastic job you did with your own daughter…just lettin' her get Bit like that…I bet you got off watchin' her turn, didn't you…Penny, her name was…?"
Beth's jaw dropped at Rick's cruelness, and it seemed everyone was shocked.
More tears sprang to her eyes at the words, and everyone, it seemed, looked to Philip.
Crack. The words caused Philip's heart to rupture as he thought of Penny, and then, the pain was replaced by a red-hot anger.
Fucking bastard…
And so Philip swung, loving the sound his fist made as it connected with Rick's face.
Rick fell, and then he was on top of him, punching him continuously.
Beth could only stare in horror, almost powerless to move, much less stop it…
"You mother-fucking bastard!" Philip said, the pain he felt in his right fist absolutely nothing in comparison to how angry he felt just then.
"I loved my little girl, and I would never have harmed her like that! And I know I'm a fuckin' monster, and believe it or not, I'll never forgive myself for everythin' I've done. And I don't need you to. But don't you dare ever say my daughter's name to me again, or even mention her. You have no idea how painful it was watchin' her turn for twelve straight hours!"
Philip continued to punch, loving how bloody and bruised Rick's face was fast becoming.
And then suddenly he stopped, grabbing him by the collar roughly.
"And besides, Rick…you're really goin' to lecture me about bein' a daddy? Beth spends more time with your daughter than you do. I bet when I held her that's the most contact with a grown male she's had in months! And when Penny was that age, I was always there for her! She knew who I was growin' up…I'm the one who she called daddy when she first started to talk, not some strange man she didn't even know! No…I wasn't like you, when all you do is plant things and go on supply runs and try to avoid spendin' any time with your daughter because you're too fuckin' scared you're goin' to do somethin' wrong, or lose her. That's not bein' a father, that's called bein' a coward! And that's a little thing called neglect! Your daughter needs you, and you need to start bein' a man and bein' there for her! It's no wonder she got so confused!"
Philip breathed hard, releasing him, still wanting to add only more lacerations to Rick's stupid face.
But Rick glared at him, and suddenly, he freed himself and punched Philip roughly in the mouth.
He tasted blood, and suddenly Rick was on top of him, doing him much the same. But he quickly elbowed Rick and was able to regain some form of dominancy, still punching.
Beth couldn't take it any longer and suddenly could move.
Somehow Hershel had come over as well, pulling on Rick, and she pulled on Philip, the tears finally falling.
"Philip…please…stop it. For me…"
Philip sat up, at first terrified he had accidentally punched her without meaning to, and he felt horrible for her at her words, as well as for making her cry.
Touching her face, he said gently, "I'm sorry, Beth darlin'…I…"
Rick too was sitting up, Hershel holding him, and he sneered again, hate on his face as he looked at Philip.
He wolf-whistled, mockingly. "Aw, ain't that sweet? You sure love her, Philip, don't you? Is she goin' to kiss your boo-boos for you later?"
Philip slowly touched his mouth, the bright red staining his fingers.
God…he really wanted to punch Rick again…
"Here's an idea, Rick," he said softly. "Why don't you go behind the fences and have a female Biter kiss yours by takin' a nice big chunk out of your stupid fuckin' face…?"
Rick swore again, and Hershel spoke.
"Both of you, enough! If both of you don't stop this, I will put my stump so far up both of your asses you won't be able to sit for a month! Now both of you stop it!"
Philip and Rick still glared at each other, yet neither of them spoke, and Beth rubbed Philip's arms, and this calmed him.
Hershel looked between them. "Now…believe it or not, I actually like both of you, Philip and Rick, and you both need to stop this. But Rick, what you said did warrant a punch, although Philip, you should have been the bigger man and not punched him."
He looked between them, and Philip spoke, remembering how Hershel had always tended to him when he had been being beaten, as well as how accepting he had been of his feelings for Beth. He really did like him, and now he felt ashamed for letting the older man down.
"I'm sorry, sir."
"It's quite alright, Philip. But I do believe this is enough excitement for one night."
Philip curtly nodded, as did Rick, and Philip slowly got up. And Beth finally pulled Philip gently away to their cellblock, leading them both away from prying eyes and even more malicious gossip.
The moon was bright and the stars were plentiful as Beth tended to Philip's wounds, still near tears.
"I'm so sorry Philip…this was all my fault," she said.
Philip gently shook his head, gently touching her face.
"No…it wasn't Beth. Don't ever think that. You didn't make me punch him. And I'm sorry I caused you even more embarrassment and humiliation. I let you down…I shouldn't have punched him, though God knows I really, really wanted to."
Beth bit her lip, holding a cool rag to his mouth.
"I don't blame you, though. What he said was awful, and I'm so sorry for how it must have made you feel. But what you said was right…he was so threatened by Shane that I think he took that old jealousy and deflected it at you."
He nodded, remembering how Beth had told him all about Shane and what had happened before the prison a long time ago.
Beth said, "But he is a good man, and so are you."
She kissed him on the cheek. "And I don't think any less of you for what happened today."
Philip slowly shook his head, smiling a little. "You think far too highly of me, darlin,' but I don't know where I'd be without you."
Beth blushed a little, and he couldn't help still smiling as he dwelled on how especially adorable she always looked when she did.
He gently leaned forward and kissed her, and she couldn't help still blushing when they finally broke apart.
Visibly flustered, she said, "Now…I'm so sorry Philip, but this'll sting."
He laughed softly. "This is like déjà vu all over again," he said softly, and she laughed.
"It is," she said, and finally, soon enough all his wounds were tended to.
"Here," he said softly.
"Sit on my lap," he said, and she smiled a little as he lifted her and placed her there before she'd even had a chance to answer…not that her answer wouldn't have been yes, though.
She smiled and couldn't help reddening a little more at the look in his blue eye as he looked at her, and he couldn't help noticing, as he so often did, how beautiful she was.
Looking down, shy, Beth said, "Not that I don't love sittin' on your lap, but…what if I hurt you even more?"
The innocence of her voice, as well as how adorable and sweet she was to think of him before herself, really made him want to kiss her even more than he always already did.
"Darlin'" he said softly, "I'd gladly be in pain for the rest of my life to be with you."
Beth blushed again, looking at him, her eyes widening, and finally he leaned forward and kissed her again.
She couldn't help smiling when they broke apart, though she was still flustered, and then she sighed, leaning her head against his chest, his heartbeat soothing and strong.
"I wish every day could be like this…where we could just be by ourselves and nobody ever talks about us or treats us awful."
Philip said, softly, "It's never you they hate, darlin,' it's me."
But they were both startled when Hershel entered the cellblock, carrying a tray with two bowls of soup on it.
"And you two shouldn't have to deal with all this cruelty and hate every day. Don't think I don't know."
Beth's eyes widened, and she almost made to move off of Philip's lap, embarrassed, but Hershel gently smiled.
"It's alright, Bethie. I don't mind. Anyhow…as much as it will pain me…I think you two should leave and find a place of your own."
The words shocked both Beth and Philip, and for a few moments they both could not speak.
But finally, Philip did speak.
"But…sir…I can't leave. And Beth's your daughter…wouldn't you rather we both stayed?"
Hershel said, smiling gently, though looking rather pained, "No. I can't say that I would. Because I see what it does to her every single day every time someone in there makes a rude comment about her, or the both of you, and I know you're the only other person that notices, Philip. It breaks my heart. I would rather you and her go somewhere else, where you're away from all of that, and she'll never have to endure that much pain ever again."
Tears sprang to Beth's eyes. "Oh, Daddy," she said, getting up and hugging him.
"I love you so much, and I don't want to leave all of you. But I…I just can't take all of this for much longer. It's so painful and humiliatin' every single day."
Looking near tears himself, Hershel said, "I know, Bethie. I know. It took all I had to not yell at everyone a few weeks ago for how they were gossipin' about the both of you when you two didn't come to the prison activity."
Beth's face still burned as she thought of it, the humiliation still acute, and Hershel continued speaking, his voice breaking.
"But I love you and Maggie much more than myself, Bethie, and what happened today with Rick was very out of line. I want you to go, and in fact I'm ordering the both of you to leave sometime soon. But you will come back and visit on occasion, or at least let me know where the both of you end up living so I can drive out there and visit you."
Hershel kissed Beth, and Beth closed her eyes, the tears still falling.
"Oh, we will, Daddy. We will. I promise."
But another thought occurred to Philip.
"Sir…you're goin' to end up poisonin' your own relationships with your family and everyone else here if you let me leave one night…"
But he stopped speaking at the smile Hershel gave him.
"Philip, it's alright. You just leave them to me."
Shock still bleeding through Philip, he said, "Thank you sir. Truly."
Hershel said, "Don't mention, it, son. But I'd eat the soup while it's still hot…I figured you two would be hungry."
And then he left, leaving them both dumbfounded and still in shock.
The next day, Rick came up to Beth at breakfast, looking sheepish and very sorry, and Beth couldn't help feeling sorry for him, knowing he truly was sorry.
"Beth…I just wanted to say I was very out of line yesterday, and I'm sorry for that. I wasn't mad at you…I was just pissed at him. I'm still pissed…but…I do admit what I said to him about his daughter was very out of line…and I'm sorry. And I'm sorry for embarrassin' you even more…I really am. Just because you're with him doesn't mean I don't like you anymore."
He was looking at her so imploringly, and Beth couldn't help shaking her head, leaning up and kissing his cheek, making sure to not kiss a bruise.
"It's alright, Rick," she said, touching his arm. "I know you didn't mean it…but he really didn't hurt Judy at all. He really didn't. He was so sweet and gentle with her."
Again, Rick looked angry, but he simply breathed in deep
"I'll take your word for it, Beth," he said, nodding gently at her.
"Have a good day," he said softly, smiling at her, and Beth smiled too.
"I will," she said.
And as she watched him leave, Beth felt sad, at the very real truth…Rick was scared that he would lose Judith, just like Lori, and that was why he distanced himself from her.
Her heart broke a little for him, but she hoped, in time, he would come around.
And somehow, she knew he would start spending more time with Judith. She knew it.
Two evenings later, she and Philip walked through the gates at midnight, Hershel having smuggled them guns and extra food and water.
Beth hugged Hershel tightly, still crying.
"I love you so much Daddy," she said, her voice cracking.
Hershel hugged her just as tightly, and then he said, "I know, Bethie. And Philip, she better still be in one piece when you bring her back for a visit, or when I come and see you two. Whichever comes first."
Beth couldn't help laughing, and Philip said, "You can count on that, sir."
Beth leaned up and kissed Hershel on the cheek one last time, lingering, before they finally broke apart.
Hershel had left a small car for the both of them outside the gates, and it was almost surreal for Philip to finally be outside the prison confines again after so very long, when he had once thought he never would be able to leave.
"Now go, quickly. Someone could see us and then this plan would be over."
Beth quickly nodded, wiping her eyes, and Hershel clapped Philip on the back.
"Take care, son," he said, and Philip nodded.
"I will, sir," he said. "And you take care of yourself, too."
Beth blew a kiss to Hershel, and then, finally, Hershel closed the gates behind them.
Still crying a little, Beth composed herself as best she could, and Philip looked at her as they got into the car, leaning over and touching her face.
"You alright, darlin'?"
Beth smiled a watery smile. "Never better."
Beth couldn't help smiling as she sat by the fireplace that they had gotten to work in their new house…their own house…
They had found a cute, safe two-story house…three if counting the attic…and it was big and white and nestled far back up on a hill, so it was relatively private. They had built a fence to surround the house, for extra protection.
There had only been a few Walkers when they had scoured every single inch of it after finding it a week ago, and miraculously, it looked like nobody at all had lived in it for months.
Their food supply was still good and would hold for awhile, and Beth had been driving herself crazy cleaning up the place and making it as beautiful and clean as possible inside.
Also miraculously, he'd gotten the shower to work, and hot water, too…a luxury even the prison hadn't had.
True, it wasn't the most extravagant or fanciest house…but it was all theirs and they had nobody at all to gossip about them…
They were free to be together and be happy, and that was the greatest gift of all.
They had just eaten dinner, and it was dark outside, and raining, and they were all locked in and barricaded for the night, and Beth was waiting because Philip had said he had a surprise for her.
She couldn't help smiling as he finally came down the stairs, and then couldn't help but blush.
Coming over to her, bending down, he said, "Close your eyes, darlin'" he said, before lifting her up.
She couldn't help squealing a little at the feel of being lifted up, and Philip couldn't help shaking his head as her eyes opened, smiling gently at her.
"I said no peekin' darlin'" he said, and Beth couldn't help laughing.
"I'm sorry…I won't look until we get up there, I promise," she said, feeling awful.
She closed her eyes, and then he carried her upstairs, and she loved when he did this…
Finally, they entered the bedroom, and Beth laughed as he kissed her on the cheek, still holding her in his arms.
"Ok…now you can open them," he said softly.
And she did, and she couldn't help but gasp at how beautiful it was…
Somehow he had gotten flowers…probably having gone out to the garden out back which miraculously still had flowers in bloom…when she had been sleeping earlier, and they covered the bed, which he had made perfectly. There were red, yellow, and, her favorite, pink roses.
Also, she noticed two vases full of flowers on the bedside table.
"Oh, Philip, it's beautiful. You did all of this for me?"
He smiled a little. "I know it's not much, and it's actually kind of pathetic, but I know you love flowers…and it's really all I could do…"
But she leaned up and kissed him.
"It's perfect. Thank you."
Philip was still holding her, though, and she couldn't help but blush.
They still hadn't made love since finding this place, and to her, it had been far too long…
Looking down, she said, "You know…it'd sure be a shame to ruin all your hard work by messin' up the bed in here…but a few blankets in front of the fireplace would work just fine for me."
Beth looked back up at him, still blushing, and Philip's heart near stopped at her words.
He could feel his body already responding to her, and he slowly shook his head.
"You are goin' to kill me," he said softly, leaning down and kissing her long and hard.
Beth grew dizzy.
After, Philip simply held her to him against him, stroking her blonde hair. The fire was still roaring behind them.
He had to smile that she was still blushing, as she always did the entire time every time they made love…not that he cared. He thought it was adorable.
"I love you so much, Beth," he said softly, placing a soft kiss on her shoulder.
Beth's heart stuttered, and she smiled too, her blush deepening.
"And I love you."
He kissed her again, then, and they both could feel their desire rising once again.
They broke apart, and Beth said, shyly, "We'll have to christen every room in our new house this way, though, no matter how long it'll take."
But after she'd spoken the words, she still couldn't help but blush again as he looked at her.
And Philip couldn't help but smile gently at her, finding her even more adorable as the rosy hue on her cheeks spread, and he said, "You can count on that, darlin. We might get no sleep at all some nights. Are you ok with that?"
Beth could feel herself blush even deeper, as always occurred around him, but she also couldn't control the giddy feeling she got and the butterflies she felt at his words.
She nodded and smiled, and then he leaned down and kissed her once again, before they finally made love again.
True…their little house wasn't much…but it was their own version of paradise…if paradise even still existed in the zombie apocalypse…and both of them knew that any place on earth could be paradise to them, as long as they had each other.
THE END