Title: DySlExIa IsN't FuN ← A title we didn't use in the official title because it would've steered the OCDs away.
Summary: Sometimes, restaurants decide to get fancy. With, you know, cursive and stuff. Percy just happened to fall victim.
Fandom: Percy Jackson and the Olympians
Word Count: 829
DaRgOn: I lIkE sNaCkS
Nike: Then go to the dam snack bar. Hui hui hui.
DaRgOn: I hAvE RiTz
"A… A fancy restaurant?" Percy asked, his head tilted all the way back just to see the gigantic neon sign on the top of the restaurant. The flashing lights were giving him a headache, and it didn't help that the name of the diner was written in freaking cursive.
"Yeah, it's gonna be so shmancy, and it'll be just the two of you," Leo said, tipping his chauffeur hat. Pushing Percy and Annabeth forward, he said, "It's gonna be a date, in case you couldn't catch that. Seeya after the smooch!" Leo returned to his (flaming hot) red car and, slamming the door shut behind him, promptly drove off.
Percy could hear him cackling.
"What does the sign say?" he asked.
"Ummmm…" Annabeth squinted. "The Restaurant of Fanciness. Well, isn't that charming."
"So… shall we go in?" Percy made to bow sarcastically, but ended up losing his balance and face-planting flat on the ground.
Annabeth rolled her eyes. "Nice one, Seaweed Brain. C'mon, I'm starving." Annabeth tugged Percy to his feet and into the restaurant.
-P-J-O-
Chi… chicken… with f… fried… petunias?
Percy slammed the order menu down on the table. "I can't read a dam thing!" He yelled, throwing his arms up into the air.
"Would you like me to help you with that, sir?" A waiter asked, happening to hear his outburst.
The tips of his ears turning a deep shade of red, much like Leo's car, Percy mumbled, "U-Um… no, I'm good." After the waiter left to go help some other customer or whatever, Annabeth laughed.
"Everyone's staring at us," she muttered, motioning with her head at a dozen other customers that were staring at Percy. Everyone quickly looked away. "Would you like to just order the same thing as what I'm ordering, then?"
"S-Sure," Percy muttered, still red from the recent event. "Anything's gotta be better than reading this." He slapped the cursive-filled menu.
Another waiter came to their table to place Annabeth's order, scribbling something on his notepad as Annabeth ordered something (about chicken and pork, maybe?), then left.
"What did you get, anyways?" Percy asked.
Annabeth smiled. "You'll see."
"Uh oh."
-P-J-O-
Restaurants gave nothing to occupy you while you waited for food, Percy soon realized. He barely lasted five minutes.
"Hey, Annabeth?"
"Yeah?"
"I need to go to the bathroom."
"Go ahead."
Percy got up from his seat and edged out of the booth, heading towards the hallway that led to the bathrooms. He soon ended up at two doors. But there were words.
In cursive.
Percy stared at the first door, trying to make sense of the stupid lettering, but apparently for some reason the restaurant had made those few words extra-loopy, causing the letters to swim around in his head. There was no way he'd be able to read these. Should he go back and ask Annabeth or a waiter to help him? He could just imagine how that would sound. "Hey, I need help going to the bathroom. Can you help me?" Percy shook his head and decided to wing it.
He looked at the right side. It had a white stick figure on it. Wearing a dress-ish thing. Okay, so that must be the girl's bathroom, Percy reasoned.
He turned around. Next to the left side door was another chalky stick figure… wearing a dress.
"Uh…" Shrugging, he did a quick game of eeny-meeny-miny-moe, before landing on the right hand side. He entered the bathroom and shut the door behind him.
A triangular piece of paper fluttered off of the left hand side's stick figure.
-P-J-O-
Something was wrong. Different. Percy could feel it in his demigodly sense. Warily, he ignored it. I mean, when were my instincts ever right about bathrooms? he thought. All of the stalls were occupied, so Percy decided to stand there and wait.
And then, one of the toilets flushed and a girl came out.
"Uh!" Percy frantically looked around and hid behind the trashcan before the girl turned his way, praying that she wouldn't notice him.
Eeny-meeny-miny-moe failed me, he thought bitterly.
The girl turned his way, and time stopped. And then she came closer, and closer, and closer… and then she saw him.
Percy cursed, knowing the Fates were against him.
"Oh, my gosh. Hey, dude, you're hot and all, but you're in the wrong bathroom." The girl said, flicking a strand of hair behind her.
"Oh, u-um, no, you're in the wrong bathroom," he argued lamely.
"Right. Do me a favor and see the sign on the other door."
Slowly, Percy walked over to the door and peaked outside. The other sign had a stick figure… with no dress, and a triangle-shaped piece of paper lying on the floor.
Slightly flushed, he turned around. "Heh heh…"
"See? Wrong bathroom."
"Okay, um, thanks, uh, bye." Percy burst through the door and entered the other door, slamming it shut behind him.
Why did the demigod cross the hall? To get to the other side. Seriously.
Nike: Yay! So we decided to take a little break from the stories, and this happened. xD
Dargon: *Switches to girly-girl voice* Oh mah gawsh, like, that girl like totally thought like Percy was HAWT? Like, ohmigosh I like need to post that on like Instagram!
o.O XDDDDDDD
Nike: Yeah, I was joking when I wrote that but it stuck so. Moose. Review? :)
Dargon: THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO READ! PLEASE HELP US IN THE FUTURE BY LEAVING A REVIEW!