If this brings memories of a loved one's passing I am sorry but this just popped into my head while I was flipping between Avatar the Last Airbender and No reservation.

I do not own Big Time Rush and I will never own them.

James I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me.

I'm sorry that you were the one that had to suffer.

I'm sorry that I wanted to go out of our hotel, despite you saying you had a bad feeling.

I'm sorry for all the things we never got to do.

I'm sorry for those last moments when you told me not to cry.

I'm sorry for not being a better friend and a better boyfriend.

I should have listened to you all of those times when you said you wanted to leave LA.

But I didn't and now here you are in a coffin all because you had to push me out of the way from getting shot at.

Why didn't you just let me die James, why then you could still be alive instead of me. You could live your life instead of me.

I know we talked about what would happen if either one of us passed away but, babe I can't do it I'm sorry I just can't do it.

So tonight I will end my own life just to be with you.

Just so that we may be together in the ground and where ever you are as well.

I will be with you; I will taunt anyone I can babe that will kill me just to be with you.

I won't have to go far now I can see someone with a gun now I can seem them pointing at me I can see them pulling the trigger.

I never heard the gun shot but I felt it, I can feel my life starting to fade I can hear people screaming trying to call for help.

I don't want their help I just want to see you.

I can feel my breathing start to slow down and I can taste blood in my mouth.

This is what it must have been like for you when you were dying babe.

I feel at peace with everything, is that normal babe?

I can feel fingers lacing through my own fingers, only one person would do that and as I open my eyes I see you staring back at me. I don't know when I closed my eyes but I don't care I am here.

Finally with you, Carlos and Logan all of us are together again.

I just hope that one day later on Mom and Katie will see this.

One day, far from now, but one day.

Please review if you want to it's totally up to you.

Dalton