Draco woke up with a burning pain in his back. This sucked. Being a Deatheater had always felt like really cool stuff, like being king of the world. He had not been thinking that being a Deatheater involved getting rid of muggle bodies, without using magic, just because the Dark lord enjoyed watching. Draco had understood that the Dark lord had really weird likings, but this? And every time afterwards he disappeared with Bellatrix Lestrange and Draco was sure; that the things those two were doing behind closed doors didn't have anything to do with making plans for taking over Hogwarts.

He sighed. Yes, life sucked like this. He missed Hogwarts. Oh, there he said it. But it was true. He missed the castle and the big areas, with plenty of space for a 16 year old boy to have fun with all the girls in his year, without getting caught. He missed the non-caring. Back then it had been about picking out the right clothes for the day, but now, now he had to pick out the right strategies to avoid getting killed by the number of aurors that were constantly chasing him and the others. Last night they had taken Macnair, and Voldemorts fury had been greater than anything. Draco felt like walls still trembled, like they too feared the rage of the Dark lord.

Draco's life was turning into a total disaster. He didn't want this; he didn't want to waste his life on this. The honor and everything he had felt when he was made a Deatheater had disappeared.

"It's guilt you know." A small voice in his head said, like so many times before.

"It's not!" Draco screamed to himself. "It's not, I feel nothing."

"You miss him." The voice, again.

"No." but Draco's voice didn't sound so convincing now. "I miss no one"

"You miss him. More than anything."

"I would rather DIE than miss him!" Draco was yelling to himself again.

"And so you are. You're dying without him."

"No. No. I'm not."

Draco threw a glass of water into the wall. It shattered and millions of glass pieces scattered across the floor. And Draco felt like he, too, was breaking.

Maybe it's a dream of a dream in a land far away. When Harry used to chase the snitch, all Draco could do was watch and wonder what it would be like if Harry chased him instead, and Draco felt like being a snitch would be the greatest thing in the world if it was Harry's grip you could feel, like that. Completely surrounding you and everything with you.

He would be happy then.