For a long time he was my best friend. He was my first for many things, the keeper of my secrets, my cyber diary and so much more. And then he was gone. Another came that didn't fill his shoes, at least not at first, but who also earned a place in my life. This is their story. It's a long one. The journey to here took a long time, but we made it eventually. Travel with us if you choose.

I met Jasper in High School. We were 14 and had both ended up on the same committee or social activity or some other extracurricular thing. All I remember is that we did very little work and spent a lot of time under the bleachers or in the performing arts centre talking. Talking about anything and everything. Jasper was the boy next door. He was knock 'em dead gorgeous and had a way with the ladies, but to me he was himself. I flatter myself that I saw through the confident exterior to the insecurities and uncertainties that made the real Jasper. Looking back now, I feel like those parts of him are mine too. We left a few scars on each other back in those days.

Jasper was a little older than me, but it might as well have been decades. He was worldly wise and knew how things worked. On the other hand, I was as innocent and naive as they come. Everything seemed fresh, new and exciting through my eyes. If it wasn't for Jasper's guidance I would have made some serious mistakes growing up. I made enough of them with him there, and some because of him... but as they say - you live and you learn.

The winter I turned sixteen things started to change. It was a cold year. An unsettled year. Things were changing in our families, we were starting to think about colleges and leaving the nest to fly away on our own. We had no other ties here and even thought of going somewhere together. Jasper had eyes only for Alice, but so far she didn't want to know him. Uncertain of herself she kept about her business without including him. But Jasper's eyes and his thoughts were never far from her. Jacob and Leah were kind of together. Sort of friendly and flirty with each other and we all knew it would go further eventually when they stopped kidding around. What he saw in her we'll never know, but it worked for them. Emmet and Rosalie were the poster children for the American dream. Blonde and beautiful, intelligent, perfect for each other and most likely of all of us to settle down and be together until the end of days. Edward was a loner. He enjoyed the company of the group but was not afraid to be on his own. Alone but not lonely. He was too smart for his own good and very sure of himself. He would make it big one day. And then there was me - Isabella Swan. Bella to my friends. So far I hadn't met that someone special to pin my hopes on. I was content to date and to experiment with new people, but aside from a few stolen moments and a bit of teenage fumbling, my innocence and naivety remained. I had been on a couple of dates with Mike Newton. I wasn't sure if I wanted it to go further. He seemed more than happy to escort me around after school or to make out in the back of his car but so far circumstances had prevented us from doing much more. A situation for which I was not entirely ungrateful.

One afternoon when Jake and Edward were at practice and Leah, Alice and Rosalie had left for one of their shopping trips, I found myself again in one of prop rooms alone with Jasper, slacking off when we should have been doing god knows what else. We had discovered an old couch and some blankets so far back in the corner that no-one knew we were there. It was cosy if somewhat dusty, but a haven from the world. Our safe place to discuss our friends and our relationships or lack thereof. He sat on one end with his legs stretched in front of him while I lay along the other, leaning against him, tucked under one arm.

"So have you got her to even look at you yet?" I enquired of Alice. She had been looking at him. I could tell. I'd seen her stealing glances over her text books and him pretending he hadn't noticed.

"She's starting to thaw," he said casually. "It's hard for her, she'll come around eventually."

I admired his quiet certainty that one day his wait would be over, admired that he cared enough for Alice to let her have this space, to wait until she was ready. He was a very patient man.

"So what about you and Newton - done the deed yet?" he laughed.

"No!" I cried, instantly displaying the whole spectrum for shades of red on my face. "And I'm not sure I want to," I almost whispered, praying he hadn't heard.

"What's up Scarlet?" he laughed, pointing to my crimson cheeks. "Sensitive subject?"

I don't know why I couldn't control the heat and colour in my face. I had certainly discussed Jasper's sexual exploits with him often enough to not be giggling like a school girl at the mention of the word. I always imagined that when it happened I would be bursting with excitement at my new experience or at least at the thought of planning it. That I would feel some sort of desperate undeniable desire that caused me to rush headlong into making a emotions coursing across my features and his own face turned solemn.

"Scared?" he asked, tightening his arm around me.

"Yes and no," I shrugged. "I just thought I would feel ... more. How can I be ready if I don't feel anything?"

He turned towards me then, shuffling and lifting until I sat across his lap, leaning into his shoulder like a small child seeking comfort. He held me gently but firmly with his head resting on mine. "There must be more to it than that. Do you mean you aren't in love with him or that there's no physical chemistry?"

"Are you kidding me? I can't tell you about this stuff," I said, mortified, burrowing my face into his neck to hide from him.

"C'mon now Scarlet," he drawled, "We've talked about much bigger things than this, it's just me, same as its always been." He moved his hands comfortingly over my shoulders and back as he spoke.

I drew in a deep breath and blurted it all out at once. "I don't love him. Maybe I could with time, but I'm just not that serious about him. He's fun to be with and he's nice to me, but when we're together ... no chemistry. We haven't done much, but I thought there'd be a little spark. I thought once we started fooling around I'd want more, need more. But it's not like that. Mike wants more from me, and he's been patient so far but, I want to really want it you know?"

Jasper was quiet for a moment, digesting my outburst. He kept rubbing my back gently and when I finally began to relax into him he spoke, drawing my face towards his so that I was forced to look him in the eye.

"Now you listen to what I have to say Miss Scarlet," he said with a wink. "I am about to share my wisdom with you, take heed." I giggled softly and tried to snuggle back into his shoulder, but he would have none of it and made me maintain eye contact with him. "You don't have to fall in love with the first semi-serious guy that comes along. It's fine to learn and experiment with someone who is of a mind to do the same thing. You don't have to love someone to fuck them, and no matter how girly it sounds, there's a big difference between fucking and making love. It's up to you to decide which one you want. It's okay to want both. But there needs to be chemistry. Don't do it for the sake of it. It's worth waiting for. Chemistry is important and it's got nothing to do with how much or how little you've done together." At this point he paused for breath and he slowly widened the circles he was rubbing on my back. His hand slipped down, brushing my side and trailing slowly south down my thigh before squeezing gently. My breathing stopped, my words stuck in my throat and my brain froze. I felt like I'd been hit with an electric current jolting through my system, waking places in my body that had slept for a lifetime. When I finally gained enough active brain cells to breathe again, I opened my eyes to meet his. Jasper's other hand traced the outline of my cheek before settling on my chin. His thumb gently brushing my parted lips.

"It only takes one kiss Isabella," he whispered leaning closer. His lips gently brushed against mine, and I saw his gaze turn black before I closed my eyes and gave myself up to the fire burning me alive. He moved his grip around to the back of my head, drawing me closer, kissing me harder until I couldn't help but respond. I pushed my lips back against him letting out a breathy little groan as his tongue swept across my bottom lip and went in search of richer bounty. As soon as it was begun it was done. A small moment in time that seemed to reach on forever.

In the several minutes it took for me to collect my shattered thoughts, Jasper had risen, collected his things and moved towards the door. As he left he looked back over his shoulder wiggling his eyebrows wickedly in my direction. "Chemistry," he smirked, and left me sitting there.

I didn't date Mike again after that.