Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.
so lets forget for one more day
how since we
loved
there has been no rain
let's make ourselves better
let's make
ourselves stronger
sweetheart lets lie here a little longer
The first time is in a nightclub of sorts, or at least outside of one. It's bitterly cold and a girl a few spaces in front of Cassie in the line is complaining loudly about how cold she is to her boyfriend who appears to give no shits.
Cassie mentally gives herself a pat on the back for the jacket she's wearing with a cotton lining meaning she's perfectly warm.
The guy behind her, but really more next to her because everyone's squashed together raises his eyebrows at her, a grin on his lips and a sparkle in his eyes as if saying: Jesus Christ he's dead.
Cassie quirks her own eyebrows, replying to him I know, right.
They do eventually talk aloud, and then when they finally get inside they're shouting because of how loud the music is pulsing in their ears, and she screams while laughing (she wonders if he can hear her laughter) her name and he yells right in the shell of her ear, so close that his lips brush her cartilage that his name is Dean.
They're both there alone but you wouldn't think it because of the way they stick together on the dance floor; she can feel his hipbones through his jeans and knows he can feel her heartbeat.
Then she feels the back of his neck and he feels the flesh of her waist - then he feels the side of her thigh as their legs intertwine and she feels the top of his shoulder when she rests her head there - then their lips touch and it's quick as a butterfly but they both want what they both desire is the touch of his hands caressing her like she's a doll and the spread of her legs on cotton sheets and the scream of pleasure as they both hit a high at the same time.
So that's what they do.
That lasted for five weeks and when she finally gets over the ridiculous story of ghosts and monsters under the bed she doesn't remember hurting this much ever before because somewhere along the line she fell in love with Dean's hands and Dean's eyes and Dean's smile so she cuts it off before he can hurt her worse and worse because if he wanted to break up he didn't have to break her heart while doing so.
She doesn't watch his car leave, but she hears it as she cries on her bed fighting the instinct to run after his stupid muscle car and believe every stupid word he says and her mama had never said anything about boys hurting this much.
And when she promises she's fine, Cassie does something unusual (for her): Cassie lies.
Okay she's desperate. But she never thought she'd go there, never thought she'd try, but she's picking up the phone and knows what to say, and then she doesn't when there's a voice at the end of the line.
"Hello?"
She bites her lip. Maybe she can put the phone down, pretend this never happened, that she's still 100% sane, that she's not believing in this-
"Who is this?" the voice asks, and she knows his voice, though now it's a little deeper, she knows it like she knows her best friend from primary school's. She knows him like the back of her hand.
"Dean?" she says, and /fuck/ her voice is shaking, and she bites her own tongue to stop herself from making a fool out of herself.
"Cassie," he breathes, and it's a crap signal but his voice sounds a little breathy and a little scared and Cassie feels like she's come home "Why're you callin'?"
Cassie closes her eyes and prays to be forgiven for this. Then her mind catches up with her and she's a fucking atheist why is she praying.
She explains about the truck and her dad's supposed hallucinations and she begins to tear up, much to her horror, and she hopes that he won't notice, because the signal's shit and there's always a chance, right?
But she can't slip anything past him.
"Don't cry, god please don't. I hate it when you cry. You always make me feel like a heartless bastard." He says, and his words are thick.
Don't cry Dean you don't cry I know you
Their actual meeting is better than she'd ever hoped for. His amulet burns hot, the cord is around his neck but the brass in her cleavage, that how close they stay.
She remembers a line from Les Mis as it burns hotter and hotter /To love another person is to see the face of God/ and she kisses him because she can and before she couldn't and that's as simple as it is.
He asks her to come with him.
And this time she smiles and says no because she's not destined to be part of his world, as much as she would love to be (I'll see you, Cassie; he says and there she goes praying again, praying he's right)
When he drives off he's got a piece of her heart in that goddamned trunk of the same muscle car.
If Cassie doesn't smile now she's going to cry so for the next week she smiles, and smiles, and smiles, and does it again the next week because otherwise she's going to cry.
And when her mother asks if she still felt anything for him, if she's really fine, Cassie does it again; she lies.
They're not anywhere near as young as they were, but she still recognises in him, this warrior with hardened eyes, and young man of twenty-ish who danced with her until past sun rise.
Somewhere, deep inside she hopes against hope, against reason, he won't recognise her. She's not as pretty as she was, and there's lines around her eyes and since hitting 35 she's gained weight, her before good metabolism becoming downright awful.
He smiles at her from across the room as everyone waits in line, and she thinks distantly that it's not fair he's as handsome as he is, still. He thinks the same thing as he looks into her soulful eyes, it's not fair she's still this beautiful. He knows her like he knows the back if his hand.
"Hello, stranger." He digs deep to find the Winchester courage and greets her, their shadows shielding the eyes of a little boy behind them from a bright light that was hurting his eyes.
He watches the two adults interact, the man teasing the lady and the lady playing with her hands and looking at the man when he's not looking and the man looking when the lady's not looking and the way when she crosses her legs so does he, and he thinks that must be why this place is called heaven because he can't think of anywhere else where they're allowed to just be in love.
Heaven is the final place they meet, and once there Cassie never lies once. She just says an overdue I love you.