Disclaimer: I am not the owner of any of the characters in the basic plotline of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory or Gillian McKeith.

A/N: This is my first fan fiction, so please be kind and considerate with your reviews, whilst also being honest for the good of my masterpiece and do not give me a bad first impression of my fellow aspiring writers. Also, this is meant to be more comedy than hard-hitting so please treat it as such in any reviews you may wish to give.

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Willy Wonka was having a nightmare, he always, right from his first candy, knew he loved chocolate, but never had expected this; he was piling on the pounds, he knew what he had to do, exercise and eat healthily, but that becomes extraordinarily difficult when you live in a chocolate factory! Oh, no, flashbacks of that whale Augustus Gloop flooded into his mind. He woke up, startled, sat bolt upright and whispered, "Ewwwwwww!"

The next morning, when offered his favourite cereal, or rather chunks of chocolate, "Wonka's-Super-Triple-Choco-Ultra-Toffee-Mega-Bits of Chocolate (Now with even more chocolate!)" He declined, it was then that Mrs Bucket knew something was up "What's up, Will, I thought you loved your cereal?" Asked Mrs Bucket, in her voice that was used to address Charlie when she thought the Oompa-Loompas were bullying him.

"Well, I did, but, ohhhhhh, I can't lie to you, I'm a whale!" Willy began to sob hysterically in to Mrs Bucket's cardigan. He then seemed to remember himself, and straightened himself up and said under his breath "Ew."

"Oh, tosh, Willy, you look lovely the way you are..."She began, she knew this speech off by heart, it was the exact one used to comfort her friend Fat Magda, come to think of it, I should probably stop calling her that, she thought to herself. "...And any ma-woman, would be lucky to call you their own."

"Really?" Asked Willy unknowingly giving her the same look that Magda always gave Mrs Bucket, watery eyes and trembling bottom lip and all.

"Of course, you are a beautiful, confident, intelligent w-man, man, I meant man." She quickly corrected herself.

"You know, you're right. I am, and I'm going on a diet."

"Good for you, Willy." Mrs bucket put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "And you remember each time you refuse chocolate, just how truly fabulous you are!"

"Yeah, you go Willy, good for you!" The group of OAP's murmured, shortly after which, they all slumped back down onto their pillows and fell back into the unconscious semi-coma that most pensioners refer to as a "nap".

"You know, Willy," Said Charlie "If this is what your own chocolate's doing to you, maybe you should consider what it's doing to the million people that eat your candy every day." An image of Augustus Gloop, in all his gloopiness crossed the minds of the group, and there was a collective shudder all around the room, excepting, of course, Grandma Georgina who thought they were talking about grapes.

"Oh no, I never meant to hurt anyone, I've got to do something, I don't care what it is but I've got to help them."

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A/N: Like it? THEN TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK IN A REVIEW!!! Ahem, er, please?