The need of comfort
It was just another day full of despair and pain. I looked out of my window and all I could see was grey, a grey life, a grey sky and a grey mist in the midst of green and brown of the barely visible trees. I felt cold despite the heather being turned on in the house.
Plin. Plin. Plin.
Drops of water keept falling on the floabords as I stood there with my wet hair, only in a bathrobe after my long shower. Despait of my earlier decision to try to resemble a human being I felt no stranght to dry myself up. The bathrobe although old and small already, being brought years ago for my twelveth birthday, gave a feeling of being home and at ease. I wrapped my arms around myself, as if trying to hug an old toy.
No. I should stop these gut wretching pains that my body, my hearth kept sending to brain. It was blank, but it's not supposed to be like this. I knew it. And then I come to a decision to to try to do something, something that could make feel like I was before. Before him.
I haven't cooked anything good lately, can't even remember when I stopped cooking period. I moved to kitchen. And I've come to realize that the only person in the world that really understood me kept himself alive by ordering pizza judjing from the pailed boxes on the kitchen counter. God it still gets on my nerves seeing all this yellow. Another thing to re-do, I should probably make a list.
It didn't take that much of time to cook pasta with canned fish and frozen tomatoes. Afterwards I wrapped it in a towel to make sure that it doesn't get cold until Charlie gets home from his double shift.
I decided to watch some tv until Charlie gets home, switched channels but couldn't find anything worth to watch. When I was about switch off the tv I noticed some dvds, chose one that looked to be an action movie and settled myself back on the coutch.
Instead of the trailers that usually comes at the begining that I was accostumed to, the movie started immediately. Strange, maybe he downloaded them from internet. I did't have to wait much to understand what it was. I just couldn't believe that these dvds belonged to Charlie, he's certainly a male but I had no knowledge at all of him dating or showing any kind of interest in a woman after Reene. This definitly wasn't the movie that I expected to watch, but I just couldn't help myself. My eyes were glued to the screen.
Before him I never tought to get exited at the mere tought of sex, witch it was something that he considered improper and it only made me feel rebellious sitting there and watching it. The couple on the screen kept muttering profanitis while the guy kept pounding the woman's swollen vagina, and the amplified sounds of their coupling made feel absolutely horny. I forgot what a great feeling it was and how much it makes you feel alive.
The movie switched in to another, and to another again. I watched but I couldn't resist any longer and I just had to try to relieve some of the tension that was concentrated into my lower belly.
I opened my bathrobe and hooked my legs up on the couch, opening my legs as much as I could I finally could see the place where that throbing sensation was concentrating to the point of almost hurting. Thanks to my shaving in the morning shower I could see my lower lips. I felt dizzy suddently with what I was about to do, I could feel my hearth pounding my troath, I tryed to calm myself by biting my lip and felt no change at all.
Slowly very slowly I placed my fingers on my pussy, caressed it.
'Fuck!' I couldn't help myself from screaming when I reached my clit. And just like on the screen I kept setting a pace by rotating my fingers on it. I only stopped when I thought that I just needed something more and dipping my fingertips in and out of the throbing hole. I kept trembling from all of the senstions that I was getting myself and thats exatly when I noticed a shadow, that wasn't there before, coming from the window that was behind the tv. I stopped, frozen in motion and looked up. The curtain was open, and standing at the window was Charlie.
My crazed horny eyes met his. We looked at each other with horror realizing the uglieness of the situation. Seconds passed, or probably minutes and something 'clicked'. His face looked different, he licked his lips slowly 'When did he shave those mostaches of his?' passed briefly trought my mind. But any thought of it was forgotten as soon as he looked me straight in the eyes again with eyes filled with lust. And then suddently he was gone.
In my confusion I heard the entrance door slam and was before in seconds.
'Bella what are you doing?' he looked unsure, conflicted with himself.