A/N: 11/10/10 - UPDATE - Uh, I had couple of comlaints/confusion over my last line, 'She put her game face on, and recounts since the day have all laid heavy emphasis on the screaming of the pranksters.' Someone even gave me hints on rewriting it. I'm sorry it didn't come off the way it was meant to. I've now changed it to a somewhat darker ending, to (hopefully) comedic effect. So thank you for sticking around, and enjoy Karma - Take II.
A/N: It's been a while, for which I apologise. I've been suffering a mixture of writer's block and the forceful ravaging carried out by another fandom. But, thanks to my bestest buddy Ginger Locks, who, if you don't know her already, is an awesomely talented, funny author, I'm back, at least for this. She has rallied me into producing another story. Hope you like. Major thanks to Ginger, you are the best, and this is for you.
Enjoy.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with Iron Man, nor do I recieve anything from this work of fiction.
"Mr Stark! There's someone here to see you!" Pepper called.
Tony bounded down the steps, before coming to a dead halt. That someone was one of the people he'd been prank calling for the past three weeks.
"Hello, Mr Stark," the man said pleasantly. "How are you today?"
"Uh, I'm- I'm fine. How about you?"
"Oh, I've been especially happy since I unplugged my phone. Lately I've been receiving unwanted calls. Such a nuisance..."
"Well- well, that's just too bad, huh? Do you know who's doing it? Kids?"
"You could say that...it is very childish..."
Tony tutted in agreement, hoping desperately his façade was believable. "So, sorry, who are you?" Actually, he knew exactly who he was, but it would be unfortunate for him to announce that so soon.
"Of course. My apologies. My name is Jeffery Michaels. I've come to see you because I have an inkling of the prank call culprit, but I was hoping you could clear up the matter for me."
"How can I help?" Tony tried very hard to exude genial neighbourliness, and not oh-my-god-he-knows-he-knows-I'm-so-dead-rewind-rewind.
"For starters, have you yourself been getting any calls?"
"Ah, no. My number is a protected one. The well-known thing and all." He replied offhandly.
"Of course, forgive me, I'd forgotten."
Tony inwardly narrowed his eyes at this guy. He was such a slimeball.
"If that's all..."
"Oh yes. Thank you for your time." Pepper escorted him out.
Once Mr Michaels was gone, Pepper commented to Tony about his slimeballness.
"Like he didn't know who you were."
"For sure. How'd he get in?"
"Jarvis."
"Ah."
A few hours later, Pepper once again called Tony upstairs.
"...There's another man to see you..." the question in her eyes.
"Damn!" Tony muttered, as he was also one of his prank call victims.
"Er, hello, Mr Stark, I'm John Donnelly, and I'm here to speak to you about the prank calls going around?"
"Hello Mr Donnelly, no, I haven't had any calls, but my number is protected, so I wouldn't, anyway. Mr Jeffery Michaels has had the same problem, however. Now, I'll show you out..."
"Wait! Excuse me, could you help me track down this caller? He needs to be brought to justice."
"Of course, leave me to it. Have a nice day," and Tony was gone.
Pacing around the workshop, Tony thought about how to fix this problem. He considered owning up, but quickly dismissed the idea. The bad PR would just not be worth it.
"Bad Boy Comes Good! Stark Apologizes!"
"An Apology? From Stark? Pigs Fly!"
"The Impossible Has Happened. Big Bad Billionaire Says Sorry"
Whoa, Stark thought that would suck.
Next to him, his cell phone rang.
"Stark. Oh, hey, Rhodey. Yeah, I'm good. What statues? Me? Dress them as robots? Nah... Really, why would I do that? To your building? And get shot at? I don't think so – oh, crrshhhh crackle shhhh, you're breaking up! Talk to you later!"
Oops. That was too close. Rhodey's not that dumb. But the statues looked so bare...and what an adrenaline rush, slinking past the guards and cameras. He was da man.
Pepper rushed into the room.
"Tony! Why are there toy Iron Man heads in Senator Gariths' garden? Explain!"
Aw, shit. He'd hoped they would go unnoticed.
"Um, that doesn't sound like me. Who would do that?"
Pepper glared at him. "Is there something you aren't telling me?"
Before Tony could stumble through his non-answer, Jarvis' cool voice boomed out.
"Sir, there have been numerous reports and accusations of harmless but annoying pranks and jokes linked to you across the city. They are filling operator's lines and telephone boards in massive amounts. The police, among many others, are demanding answers."
Aw, double shit.
Pepper, in a deceptively cool voice, asked Jarvis what these pranks actually were.
"Prank calls, littering, spray painting, dressing statues, and hit and run door knocking. Due to the theme of red and gold, untraceable phone numbers, and, of course, Iron Man figurines, it has been blamed on Mr Stark. Due to the lofty heights of some of the statues, they would be almost inaccessible to the average Californian resident, but easily reached by the suit."
"But," Tony burst out, "it could be a copycat prankster! Someone with a grudge, or- or just having some fun! None of it can actually be blamed on me!" Tony knew it was futile, but he had to try.
Pepper stared at Tony, bringing to mind visions of frying death glares. Maybe he would give in sooner that he thought- no, he wouldn't. He would be strong. He was not going to break. And, anyway, when Pepper got all hot and bothered she was really really extra more-than-usual hot and Tony couldn't think of anything else-
"Okay, yes, I did it! Being on my best behaviour and not going partying and drinking and gambling made me so bored. I got sick of TV and building and rebuilding toasters and microwaves. I still can't get lightweight toasters. Even carbon fibre seems to melt, against all odds-"
"Tony! Stop rambling! You are grounded!"
"What? Who do you think you are? My mother?"
"How old do you think you are, pranking everyone?"
"...Point taken. If I make up a really good story, and stop making up pranks, can I not be grounded? It's just...I'm on the wrong side of forty and it's sure as hell the most embarrassing thing ever to be grounded at forty-two and no, please Pepper, I'll be your slave and I'm sorry-"
"Okay, okay! But it had better be a fabulous story," Pepper relented.
"Oh yeah."
The next day Pepper sat at her table and gingerly opened the morning's paper. She preferred paper to the internet anyway, but her motives this time were so she could whack Tony if his excuse was rubbish, as she didn't want to damage her laptop by throwing it at him.
Because to her alarm he chose not to tell the story her beforehand. He was going to have bruises if it didn't fly.
Eyes flying over the page, she read the story, with not just a handful of trepidation.
The numerous accounts of childish pranks wracking the state, supposedly tied to the famous billionaire turned superhero Tony Stark, have finally come to an end. In an exclusive interview, Stark has admitted to the pranks, but adds they were going to be a part of an unreleased television show.
"Unfortunately, the show has fallen through, but it was going to be a 'Caught on Camera'-esque live shot comedy, on drugs. There were going to be high flying swoops, awkward positions and laughs all around. The pranks reported lately were simply a part of the filming. The people involved were meant to have been told beforehand, but due to a bureaucratic bundle it didn't happen. I only found out afterwards, and everyone involved will be compensated. So, sorry, California, I know it was inconvenient and annoying, but it was not done out of childishness or spite."
So there you have it, straight out of the billionaire's mouth. The pranks have ended, and California is at peace once more. All is well.
Pepper was stunned. That was the biggest crop of bull she'd ever read, but it was also the best. By the looks of things, America had bought it hook, line and sinker. As she walked in Tony's mansion, she decided that all was, as the article chirped happily, well.
Except the banging and crashing she heard from what she knew was the vicinity of Stark.
"Tony! Are you okay? What happened?"
Tony groaned and buried his face in his hands.
"Revenge. Money is obviously not enough. The phone, protected number and all, has been ringing off the hook. My door, despite my woefully inadequate bodyguard, has been knocked and knocked and knocked. They've TP-ed around the back yard, and keyed the R8. For some reason it had been 'let out' of the garage by some 'innocent bystanders who didn't do anything, nooo'. And some smartass has been spray painting superhero catchphrases all over the far side of my house, telling me to write my own. The worst part is, the local cops won't help me because they feel I deserve everything I get. I've tallied up the damages, and it's come to nearly $100 000. How did they do so much in so little time?"
Tony looked so pitiful and world-weary it took every ounce of will in Pepper's body not to take him up in her arms and tell him everything was going to be okay. Instead, she did the next best thing.
"Tony, I'll sort it out, if you go and make me coffee. Remember, you said you'd be my slave," she said gently.
Tony gave her a sweet little smile of gratitude that warmed her heart. As he left to fulfil his mistress's wishes, Pepper put her game face on. Since that day, accounts of the subsequent events have varied dramatically from individual to individual. However, they all laid heavy emphasis on the screaming. Screams wrenched from many throats. Screams that still haunt neighbours to this day. Screams one would never forget. Screams they don't.
R&R?