Doctor Who: After Dark

The Trailer to End All Trailers

"You do realise we're getting married, don't you?"

"W-what?" The Doctor managed at last, setting the glass back down on the table abruptly, eyes wider than usual.

"Nothing." The Master snapped, hunching his shoulders and snatching the wine bottle from between them to fill up his glass. "I've changed my mind now."

~*~

Two Martians, both alike in dignity, in fair Cardiff where we lay our scene, from ancient grudge break to…No. No. Stop it. Far too Shakespearean.

~*~

"We're…we're not Martians! We're Time Lords!" protested the Doctor, his hands gesticulating wildly in an attempt to make Owen see the error of his ways.

"Oh sure, focus on the incorrect species categorisation, why don't you!"

"But…we're not Martians…I mean, for starters, we're not luminous green with purple stripes! That alone should be a dead giveaway-"

~*~

When everything you know is destroyed (that includes your companions, TARDIS, sonic screwdriver, Time Vortex, and yes, even your theme music), what are two fangirls to do…?

~*~

"You still don't trust me?"

"Weeeeellll…depends on how you define 'trust', really…"

~*~

…Well, write crack!fic, of course!

~*~

"This is, um, the Master…he's my, um…erm…he's my…uh…" The Doctor trailed off into silence, seemingly having some difficulty finishing his sentence.

"I'm his fiancé," said the Master firmly. "You must by Madame de Pompadour. Forgive me if I don't shake your hand, Mademoiselle, but I have no idea where it's been and I'm very hygiene conscious."

~*~

The Tenth Doctor and the Master have let bygones be bygones and are getting married. The only problem is…?

~*~

"The Doctor's an idiot." The Master interrupted, smoothly. "We both know that."

"You're the one that's marrying him." Ianto reminded him.

"I'm not sure why at the moment. He needs to remind me." The Master grumbled, more to himself than anything.

~*~

Well, they're two Time Lords having a Human ceremony with a robot ring bearer, an unidentified alien fleet intent on crashing the party, a UNIT operation gone wrong, a missing bridegroom, ex-boyfriends abounds, and a mysterious force hell-bent on stopping any Lemon entering the fic…oh, and then there's the question of the seating plan…

~*~

"See, there's Martha and Mickey, and I know Mickey will probably want to sit near to Rose, but I don't know if Martha likes Rose, and then there's Jackie and Pete, they'll want to sit on a table altogether, so we could have a table of Tylers...But where do I put Mickey then? With Martha's family? If they turn up. It all depends on whether we want people to mingle. Do we want people to mingle?"

The Master fell into the seat next to him with an unimpressed sigh. "We want people to sit down, shut up, watch me snog your face off, then leave."

~*~

With the Torchwood Team on the case, complete with Wedding Fairy, Ianto Jones, will Martha Jones turn up to the wedding, will the Master ever stop flirting…

~*~

"You've got some explaining to do later, Mister I-Wasn't-Talking-To-Shakespeare-Honest!" the Master hissed as the priest droned on.

"Oh come on, like you weren't giving Casanova the eye!" the Doctor murmured in reply.

~*~

…will Alt!Ten ever dye his hair brown again, will the Master ever get sex…

~*~

"This is unbelievable! I entice you into a soundproof room without any windows, I tie you to a chair, I double-deadlock seal the door so that there's no miniscule chance of escape or rescue and the second I get my hands on his boxers you're there!"

~*~

…will the Doctor ever stop licking things, will Wilf get a more than he bargained for…

~*~

"Hello, Wilf…" he said, giggling nervously before turning to glare at the Master."Lots of keys to that door. What did I tell you! Lots. Of. Keys. To. That. Door!"

~*~

…and, most importantly of all, will the wedding go without a hitch?

~*~

"Shut up." Ianto spat. "This wedding is going to go without a hitch, if it kills me. One more defeatist comment and I am going to shoot you."

"Again?" Owen asked dryly

~*~

In true Top Gear style, all we know is, it's called Doctor Who: After Dark…and it's coming to a Doctor Who fanfiction database near you very, very soon…

~*~

"I don't mean to alarm you, but there's a fluorescent pink poodle sitting over there and its been watching us for a good five minutes…"

Further information to be found about this fic collaboration at .net/~BeansAndBondageChairs