Disclaimer - don't own the lost boys
It wasn't that Edgar didn't know what to say, because he had loads of answers forming in his head, but it seemed his tongue had become tied up. Sam sat opposite him, his blue eyes trained intently upon his, awaiting an answer that Edgar could not, would not, give. Now the embarrassment had faded, the last signs of the flush on his cheeks gone, Edgar just stared, unable to form a word past his lips, or those words that he knew Sam was hoping to seek from him. The answer in which Sam waited for wasn't the one that Edgar could give, nor did it swim in his mind. But he sat patiently, those blue eyes never wavering as he waited.
Fingers came to his temples and a deep frown followed with it. Edgar's eyes went to the ground, as if fascinated by the golden sand in which he saw. Sam's eyes were still on his and Edgar felt discomfort come. That was something he didn't want to feel, didn't like feeling, not around his friend. The uneasy feeling and embarrassment he once felt around Sam, back in those days when their friendship began to steadily build, had long disappeared, and Edgar found it easy to play back Sam's words against him, give a biting reply, or flat out ignore him. He was used to Sam's attempts at getting things from him, his amusing attempts at luring in Edgar, and all he did was either stare, give a smirk, or hit him around the head.
What he wasn't expecting was the question which formed past Sam's lips. He knew it was always there, in his eyes, in his head, just always there, but not once did it ever come out in the open, and Edgar was thankful for that. It saved the fear of a friendship being destroyed or slowly changing, or even the fear at giving an answer Edgar knew Sam wouldn't want to hear. It wouldn't have been the one he would have wanted to hear and, somewhere, Edgar was sure Sam knew what it was, knew what Edgar would have said if he could have. Yet he still asked, and Edgar had froze, bottle slipping from hand slightly when it finally did slip past his lips. It came, came out of nowhere, just when he was beginning to relax with the silence that rolled all around them. There came no expression upon Sam's face when he saw the surprise in Edgar's eyes. Although there was that need, that deep need to know, the curiosity and need that always stayed and swam in the back of Sam's eyes.
Edgar always saw, but there never came any fear that it would ever finally be asked. Now it had, and he sat there, the answers, one by one, piling on top of each other, but his lips would not part. He felt uncomfortable now, yet he didn't tell Sam that he wouldn't answer. Sam waited, a small spark of hope drawing from within his eyes. A rub of the brow came and Edgar's eyes slowly moved away from the sand, going to Sam.
''Jesus'' He shook his head, an unknown reason why confusion suddenly came. ''Heck, I don't know, Sam.''
Sam didn't look convinced and he leant towards him, that hope and need burning like fire in his eyes. Edgar moved away a little, the furrow of his brown coming. Hands came to the back of his head, tightening the bandanna, and the discomfort rose ever so slightly. Leave it alone he thought to himself, hoping Sam would change the subject, because he couldn't. He never and Edgar wasn't surprised. Sam could be stubborn when he wanted to be, when there was something he wanted. It wasn't only to the fact the answer he was afraid to give would be because that fear came that he would break their friendship. No, it came with emotions, with truly telling Sam why, and despite how much he…Edgar couldn't part him the answer.
Sam waited, just waited, with no growing irritation or impatience. Heck, he could have waited all night if he had to, and he seemed to not notice, or he ignored, the discomfort that was visible to see upon Edgar's face. A struggle came, a struggle to somehow change the conversation, or tell him. Edgar shook his head, fingers unscrewing the cap on his bottle. It was brought to his lips and he looked away from Sam's penetrating gaze that did not break. Edgar had never been tongue tied before, but since meeting Sam Emerson; even he broke some things down. For starters, a smile in which Edgar rarely ever gave, at least not to any other, apart from his brother. But Sam…Edgar enjoyed his company, and so did Alan, but it was stronger between them, than Alan and Sam himself. Of course, Edgar lost his patience on several occasions, or fought the urge to hit that smile off Sam's face, but Edgar liked him, their friendship, only now - now it seemed to have grown a little more serious. Sam was serious and there was no smile gracing his lips as he sat there waiting, watching.
For that time, Edgar wished he were back at the comic store, even if the question would have still been asked there. Easy distraction to drop it all, but he wished Alan was with them most of all. He would have found something to say to break the silence, to break the struggle in which Edgar was battling with. One easy question, so short and simple, straight to the point, Edgar was having difficulty in answering. It seemed easy to answer, as they were there in his head, but to actually form and give them, Edgar found difficult. To other people, they could have answered a question like the one Sam had given in a flash, but Edgar wasn't like others, especially in terms when it came to expressing feelings. Not that he didn't feel, because he loved Alan, would have torn his own skin off his back for his brother, but he never said it, never told him how he truly felt. Alan knew though, knew from the small things Edgar did, by looking after him at school, all the little things that came together. It was just how the Frog brothers were. A rarity for them to truly express something, but Edgar would have rather had Alan in Sam's place right then. Sam Emerson was another Edgar cared for, but it would never be told, never form past his lips, as he just couldn't say. Only now, those answers were biting and scratching and Edgar pursed his lips, a small frown coming back again. Four words would have been the easiest answer to give, but Edgar couldn't speak them.
''Come on, Edgar'' Sam moved towards him. ''I think I have a right to know, right? I'm not the one who plays. I feel like I'm the one who is being played.''
A glower suddenly came onto Edgar's face. He stood, bottle being dropped into the sand. Sam stared up at him, arms crossed slightly, that wait and need in his eyes. That glower increased and Edgar began pacing slightly, a growing irritation coming out of nowhere. He was becoming restless with all his jumbled and confused thoughts, and it all felt like table tennis, or two sides of a person speaking at each other from a distance. The one told him to tell Sam, to get it over with, and save further discomfort and embarrassment, to save it ever being brought up again. The other disagreed. Sam would constantly barrage him with questions, more upon more, and no good might not come out of it if his thoughts, the answer, came out in the open.
Edgar suddenly stopped and he turned. ''How the fuck do you work that out, Sam Emerson? I don't fucking play with anyone.''
Sam flopped backwards into the sand, arms coming behind his head, eyes piercing his. ''Then why did you do it?''
Edgar sighed in frustration, hand raking through his hair, messing it up even more. Why did he do it? Why didn't he push him away? Edgar knew he could have, and he knew Sam wouldn't have commented. Guilt…a guilt, that would have surely formed deep within if he would have? Edgar knew the true answer in why, twice now, he had let him, even one time responding. Did he hate it? No, Edgar didn't, but neither was there a like for it, or a want to do it again. Sam did, always teasing and trying, and usually Edgar let him, but not because he wanted to, not really. Confusion poured inside, filling him, and a deep, deep, frown was given by Edgar. Did he do it, respond, because he did like it? The answer that instantly came was the real one, but was there another with it?
''You confuse me'' Edgar curled up his lip, a slight dark looking coming when he locked eyes with Sam. ''You do nothing but confuse and irritate me, Sam''
A small twitch of the lips came from Sam, but it disappeared just as soon as it came. He sat up, hands dusting the sand off himself. ''No, Edgar. You confuse me. I'm confused now. Why did you do it?''
''Fuck'' Edgar sighed loudly. ''Because…I did, alright? Does it fucking matter?''
Sam stood up, nodding his head repeatedly. ''It matters to me, Edgar, and I want to know why. You don't seem to care, yet you did it''
Edgar breathed heavily and sat back down into the sand. That frustration, discomfort, and irritation came back, all mixing and forming together. Just fucking answer he thought. Get it over and done with. He won't stop. He won't shut up and stop pestering until he knows.
''Why did you kiss me the other night, back might I add, and the week before?'' Sam raised a brow, that need to know coming back again. ''Christ, Ed, I just want to know. I tell you stuff and, I mean, I have a right to know why''
''You don't have a right for shit, Sam'' Edgar stopped, the irritation vanishing. ''Shit. I didn't mean that, but…It doesn't matter, and you keep pestering.''
''I'll keep doing it.''
Anger came and he shook his head. ''Because I fucking love you, alright. You're my best friend, Sam, and I did it because of that'' Hands came to his head and he rubbed his scalp, feeling as if he had a headache that wasn't actually there.
''I thought it was that'' Sam slinked towards him, a grin being flashed. ''I thought that was the reason. I just wanted to see you squirm, Ed'' He laughed when Edgar knocked him off his feet. ''Chill out, bud. I wasn't entirely sure, so I wanted to actually know.''
Edgar glared. ''I should…''He shook his head, breathing heavily through his nose. ''You're a shithead sometimes, you know that?''
Sam jumped up, an arm coming around his shoulder. ''Yeah, but you love it.'' Another laugh came when Edgar jokingly pushed him away. ''It's too bad it's not something else, but I'll take anything.''
Edgar rolled his eyes slightly, the mask of stone coming back. ''Sam?''
He turned. ''Yeah?''
''If you tell anyone about this, I will personally kick your ass.''