Title: Lovesick
Author: hbomba
Rating: M
Summary: The fight that Doccubus never had.
A/N: This story exists in limbo. Bo never got on that f'ing train and Lauren never got on Crystal.
A/N2: Thanks to my partner, lonejaguar for the edits and keeping me lovesick since 1997.
But love's a malady without a cure. -John Dryden
There was love and then there was what Bo felt for Lauren: an overwhelming mess of emotions compounded by the ebb and flow of ever-changing rational thought. Bo, so sure about everything else in her life, was always playing mental she-loves-me-she-loves-me-not with regards to Lauren. But when she sat quietly beside Bo, hand on her knee, and said "We need to talk." Bo cringed internally.
It was as it always had been, Lauren being evasive and Bo giving chase. She wanted to know all of Lauren's secrets, and not in some nosey or exploitive way-she simply wanted to be there for her, a conclusion Bo had come to after many a night of being shut out.
She was her four-leaf clover, a talisman burned into her brain, a love note that never made it from pen to paper. She was everything, but like rain through her fingers, she was impossible to hold on to. If she knew one thing it was that she didn't know a damn thing. Lauren was an enigma. So serious, so lost, so loved.
If they were going to do this, Bo needed a little liquid courage. She twisted the corkscrew a little too enthusiastically and broke the cork off inside the bottle. "Shit," she swore. Rifling around in the kitchen drawers, she looked for something to extricate the lost cork. Her eyes lit up at a wooden spoon. She jammed the handle of the spoon into the bottle and pushed the cork into the ruby colored liquid. Pouring a pair of glasses, she returned to the couch with a guarded smile. Lauren accepted the wine and sipped it gratefully as Bo took three big gulps from her glass before sitting beside Lauren once again.
"So, what's up?" Bo asked casually, knowing the conversation was going to be far from it.
Lauren smiled at that. "This is where you ask me what I've been doing for the past month."
Bo didn't even know where to start but she felt vindicated knowing that Lauren had finally come to this. She tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and Bo's heart began to ache. It didn't take much these days. Lauren had been distant for the better part of a month without any indication of what was at work between them. All Bo knew was she was tired of the chase. Lauren couldn't be pinned down during this time, flitting from her lab to the Dark archives and back again, never sharing what she was working on with Bo or even calling her most days. In short, Bo was out in the cold with no real indication of why that was. She didn't think there was anything wrong but when Lauren didn't call for a week, it was hard to think it wasn't something she had done.
Sometimes Bo felt like she existed on a separate plane than Lauren. She was always three steps ahead and Bo could never quite catch up. On the odd and most rare occasion that she did track Lauren down she always managed to step on her toes, get in her way, or simply be superfluous to whatever Lauren's aim was. And yet, Bo knew that Lauren loved her, maybe not how deeply or how much, but she was inclined to believe that Lauren did love her.
"Okay, I'll bite. Where have you been?"
Lauren smiled, a controlled flash of teeth, and inhaled deeply. "Well, I've had something of a breakthrough."
"What have you been working on?" Bo asked, knowing the answer Lauren was about to give would be one that she would be looking up in the dictionary after Lauren left, but she asked anyway because it pleased her.
"I've been racking my brain to come up with something you could use to neutralize troublesome Fae and I hypothesized that by using a high dose of epinephrine you could incite increased respiration and heartbeat and the byproduct of that, fear. In my trials, subjects became agitated, afraid and ultimately they tried to escape."
"Trials?"
She patted Bo on the knee. "I brought you something." Reaching into her bag she produced an arm band fitted with half a dozen syringes. "For your next fight." She smiled as Bo lifted the arm band from her hands.
"I don't know what to say."
"Say that you'll use it."
"I'll use it." Bo said stoically.
Lauren searched Bo's face. "What is it?"
"I dunno, Lauren. You disappear for a month, you don't call me to say 'boo' and then you show up on my doorstep with your latest science project. What am I supposed to feel?
"Bo, I just thought-"
Bo downed the rest of her wine and stood up, making a beeline for the bottle in the kitchen. "Did you think?" The air was thinning, Bo could barely breathe. The chase was getting to her. All of the movement was making her woozy, sick to her stomach but Lauren's proximity made her mouth water. If they could just be honest for once maybe, just maybe, they'd get somewhere with this. "Look Lauren, I'm sorry. It's just-" She sighed and filled her wine glass. "I want us to be clear. Just once."
Lauren looked over the back of the couch at Bo who had begun to pace behind it. "Fire away," Lauren said.
"I can't do this anymore."
"Oh," Lauren deflated.
"You blew me off for weeks. I know you're a scientist but at the end of the day I want a girlfriend, not someone who's trying to turn me into Batman."
"I just want to keep you safe and I had this idea and ran with it. I should've called-"
"So why didn't you?"
"Because, after everything, when days had turned into a week and a week had turned into two, I didn't know how. The ironic thing is I knew I let you down and that drove me farther away." Lauren stood and walked around the back of the couch where Bo gulped more wine. She put her hand on Bo's face. "You have to believe I was only thinking of you."
Bo swallowed hard. She felt lightheaded at her touch and dizzy at her nearness. She was diffusing their relationship bomb like she always did, with her feminine wiles and once again Bo was falling over herself for Lauren. There was love and there was what Bo felt for Lauren: terrifying attachment and a supreme lust. Lauren licked her bottom lip and Bo fought the urge to kiss her. It had been so long and Bo was not a fan of waiting. For anything. She looked at the floor, unable to meet Lauren's gaze. Bo sighed. It was time for the ugly truths. "You're unreliable, Lauren." Bo folded her arms.
Her mouth dropped, her she scrunched her brow, and her hands waved through the air expressing her displeasure. "I'm unreliable? You run off chasing windmills when the mood strikes and leave me here waiting for you to come home and I'm unreliable?"
"Oh, don't open that door, honey," Bo muttered.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Lauren's voice reached a defensive pitch.
"It means, you're the one that walked out on me-you left without saying two words and when I find you at that butcher Taft's complex, you blow me off-"
"I was protecting you!" Lauren covered her mouth.
Bo seethed. Her heart thumped angrily in her chest. "I can protect myself!" she shouted, a firestorm in her eyes.
Lauren poked the air, heatedly. "I have always been there when you needed me."
"Really?" Bo huffed. "Like that time you locked me in a cage?"
"I can't do this!" Lauren cried. "I can't keep apologizing, Bo." She shook her head, tossed a sideways glance at Bo and exhaled. "I made a mistake and I regret it."
"Well as long as you regret it," Bo taunted.
Incensed, Lauren stared down Bo. The air was charged. The silence crackled between them. Clenching her jaw, she turned to leave. Bo grabbed her wrist and stepped into her. Lauren stumbled backwards but Bo steadied her with an arm around her waist. She leaned in, Lauren's breath on her cheek, her perfume in her lungs, the vibration in her body reverberating in her own. She was furious but in that moment all she wanted to do about it was to take Lauren upstairs and fuck her until the sun chased away their anger. She claimed Lauren's lips with her own and her mouth met Bo's with an equal and opposite force, pushing back.
Bo took a step back and Lauren grabbed the collar of Bo's jacket, pulling her back into her embrace. The stairs were tricky as they tore at each other's clothes, tripping as they went. They moved across the second floor quickly, clothing falling by the wayside along the way and when they reached the bedroom only a few shreds remained.
Bo watched as Lauren shrugged her hair off her shoulder. She was exquisite. A treasure. Everything about Lauren made Bo weak in the knees. And when her lips caressed the whorls of Bo's ear, they moved almost imperceptibly, a whispered request that sent a surge through her.
She traveled the length of Lauren's body, roughly pulling her panties down her legs. Backing her up against the bed, Bo pushed her over. Lauren bounced onto her back before grabbing Bo's wrist and yanking her onto the bed with her. She inched backwards, leaning on her elbows, she looked up at Bo, whose eyes twinkled with what was to come as she climbed over Lauren.
It was unexplainable how she came to be there, luxuriating in the feel of her skin on Lauren's. How something could feel so good when a fire raged in her belly still. Her hands roamed Lauren's body as their mouths tangled once again. It was a fierce exchange, a desperate ache that neither could control. The intensity ratcheted up quickly and Bo reached between them, cupping Lauren in her hand. She grunted.
What happened next was a blur, a confusing jumble of lost moments, remembered, of reuniting after a long, lonely month apart. Lauren rolled over Bo and pinned her to the bed by her wrists. Hovering above her, she moved up her body until she was kneeling beside Bo's ears and Bo's desire exploded into a million free-floating pieces. She reached between her own legs as her mouth connected with Lauren, stoking each fire. A long, low moan escaped Lauren as Bo drew lazy circles with her tongue. If there was a lesson, Bo was going to be the one to teach it. Her hand smoothed up Lauren's thigh as her mouth worked faster. The serpentine movement of Lauren's hips had Bo transfixed. She gasped as Bo moved with her, against her and, finally, into her. It was a short ride, as Bo brought her to the brink again and again before finally letting her topple over into ecstasy.
Out of breath and trembling, Lauren pulled away from Bo, falling back onto the bed. It was a two-count before Bo had covered her body, pressing her into the mattress. The succubus was ready for her turn. She kissed Lauren hard, plunging her tongue into her mouth and tasting the sweet ambrosia.
No words were exchanged, but stolen glances spoke volumes. Lauren's eyes were wide as Bo's flickered blue. It was far from over. Bo's hips ground down into hers, palms flat against the headboard, Lauren's hands reached for her breasts. Bo slapped them away and abruptly flipped Lauren over, pulling her back on all fours. Pressing herself against Lauren's ass, she began to move and, reaching around, found Lauren's center again. She started slow, thrusting softly until, quite suddenly, she slammed into Lauren.
The breath caught in Lauren's throat as Bo continued her overwhelm her. Her rhythm was ragged, she set an impossible pace and somehow kept up with it. Lauren moaned non-stop and Bo's mouth watered from the energy she was releasing. It was a mess of desperation and misunderstanding and Bo was making sure Lauren knew that as she crashed into her again. Bo's hand worked faster between Lauren's legs. She pressed her ear to Lauren's back as she continued. Hearing the gasps every time she glanced off her center, whimpers when she pinched her nipples, and moans each time her hips made contact. It was a cacophony of desire and Bo was eating it up.
Lauren's hips began to jerk with each circle of Bo's fingertips until she finally came again. Collapsing onto the bed, Bo fell on top of her. They stayed like that until their breathing evened out and Bo rolled away. She sat with her back against the headboard, her eyes meeting Lauren's, whose were sleepy but sparkled with promise.
Bo turned away from her and looked at the ceiling. Bo was overcome with things unsaid. With guilt and anger and god dammit, love. Lauren moved toward Bo, climbing into her lap, her legs wrapping around Bo's waist. She cupped Bo's face, her blue eyes brilliant in the half-light of the bedroom. Silence hung between them like a curtain, obscuring their true motivations and feelings. That didn't stop Lauren from kissing her passionately, hands in her hair, her naked breasts pressed against Bo's. And it wasn't long before Bo stopped being a passenger and started engineering an comeback of her own. She pressed a hand between Lauren's legs, slipping into her. She gasped which coaxed a smile from Bo.
With Lauren's full attention, Bo began to move slowly between her legs. She gasped and her hips moved in concert. Bo watched her every expression as her eyes fluttered shut briefly before reopening and meeting Bo's gaze. Perhaps the sexiest thing about their encounter was despite the disconnect, the sex still worked. Lauren could capture Bo's stare and there was no need to look elsewhere. Bo slid her fingers deep, Lauren lifting herself onto her knees as Bo drew back and slipped inside again. Her breast found Bo's mouth as her fingers pressed deeper still. Lauren leaned back, steadied by the crook of Bo's arm and let herself go once again. Bo watched Lauren unravel at her touch. It was a thing of beauty and rapture, and Bo never wanted it to end.
Holding Lauren in her arms, it was hard to remember what precipitated the anger or the sex. Head on Bo's shoulder, Lauren turned in her lap and sighed. They sat that way for ten minutes, not speaking, not moving, just being. And when the calm had fully settled into their bones, Lauren climbed out of her lap. But instead of curling up with Bo and drifting off, leaving the hard conversations for the morning, Lauren began to kiss every inch of Bo's exposed skin before crawling between her legs.
It had always surprised her that Lauren was a maestro. She conducted an orchestra of pleasure and teased Bo mercilessly which suited the succubus just fine. Her hands clutching at Bo's thighs, her breath against Bo's core, and finally, a swirl of her tongue to undo her, too. She reached up and squeezed Bo's breasts. It was an all out assault on her senses. Bo lifted her head to watch her blonde hair move between her legs, she fought the urge to close her eyes, she didn't want to miss a single nod of Lauren's head or sweep of her eyes. No, Bo wanted it committed to memory.
As Bo strained to achieve orgasm, her head spun. She was close… so, so close now and Lauren took the opportunity to slide two fingers into her unexpectedly. She thrust once, twice, and on the third thrust Bo's back lifted from the bed as her hips rolled and the inevitable release tore through her body.
Bo panted, Lauren still nestled between her legs, the soft pressure of her tongue keeping her rapt. Bo covered her face with a hand. "Oh my god."
Lauren lifted her head briefly. "We're not done yet," she whispered.
Bo smiled, biting her bottom lip. Nothing made Bo happier than to hear Lauren say there was more sex to come, more pleasure to be had, more time to be spent together. And when she lowered her head again, a shiver ran through her body. The second time, Lauren commanded an array of new moves. Faster, she nodded her head. Harder, her tongue pressed against Bo. She was coming undone. Lauren began to move her hand again, driving Bo's need to a fever pitch.
Bo's fingers threaded through Lauren's blonde hair, holding it back from her face so she could watch her unobscured. And when her lips pulled at Bo, she trembled. Lauren's mouth covered her then, her tongue working at a feverish tempo. Bo writhed, her own hands smoothing over her belly and breasts as Lauren took the last vestiges of her willpower and brought her to orgasm once again.
Her hips raised off the bed, surging against Lauren's mouth, Bo's eyes squeezed tight against anything but the sensation she was feeling. When she collapsed, breathing heavily, Lauren climbed up her body, her mouth finding Bo's ear once again. "I have been dreaming about doing that for weeks."
Bo smirked, still trying to catch her breath. "Dreams do come true."
"In that case," Lauren's voice was low, sultry. "I have a few more things in mind…"
Heavy breathing, sheets torn away, duvet on the floor as Bo and Lauren made love well into the early morning hours. It was reconnection, and sometimes apologetic. It was sometimes rough and others, gentle. It was all encompassing. There was love and then there was what Bo felt for Lauren: an unyielding desire and an overwhelming affection.
When Bo roused, Lauren was still asleep, curled around one of Bo's pillows like a precious child. Bo looked at the ceiling and smiled. Nothing had been settled from the night before but the issues were on the table now at least.
As the sun crested on the wall, she watched Lauren sleep. The way her chin would twitch and she'd smile, even in slumber. How her honey-blonde hair looked flawless, even after a bonafide sexathon. And how shameless she was as she slept, sheet pulled up to her waist, her breasts exposed.
She tempted Bo still.
Bo inched her way toward Lauren, who always slept just out of arm's reach. Sitting up on her elbows, Bo kissed her and she began to stir. Lauren's eyes fluttered open and found Bo beside her, a quiet smile spread across her lips.
It was as close to a truce as they would get today. Silence fell between them and it was much harder to deal with when they weren't naked and touching each other. Lauren rolled onto her side. "Can I buy you breakfast?" she asked.
Bo smiled ear to ear. Her fear about what Lauren would say or do when she opened her eyes had been replaced with joyful relief. They would put some clothes on and break bread in public to avoid another tumble into bed. It wasn't that this was the end, no, Bo knew there was more to their love story. She knew because that ache in her stomach was back. The alchemy of love was elusive but Bo felt it keenly. She was, for lack of a better word, lovesick. And being lovesick for Lauren was simply a fact of life for Bo now. Neither a curse or a blessing, she had felt this way for as long as she had loved Lauren and, if she was lucky, that was never going to change.
Fin.