The Story Too Cool To Have A Title
By Demolition
Chapter 1 – If Looks Could Kill
A/N: I do not own Saiyuki in any way, shape, or form, no matter how much I am tempted to lie and say I do. Please be kind and rewind… I mean review…
Charlie: Riiiight…
Demolition: Don't you have something to do?
Charlie: You of all people should know that I don't.
Demolition: … Shut up.
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"Shit, she's tough!" Goku stated needlessly, pushing himself back up with the help of his staff. His normally orderly clothes were ripped and dirtied. His brown hair was matted with sweat and dust.
"Well, then I guess we'd better tenderize her!" Gojyo replied, whipping his weapon around and launching himself at his foe. Sanzo groaned, putting a hand to his forehead. Vivid violet eyes watched the half-breed fly through the air, signature red hair waving behind him like a flag.
"Is it just me, or did that line sound extra cheesy?" The priest remarked coldly, flipping out the barrel of his weapon of choice – the Banishing Gun – to reload the bullets. Next to Sanzo, Hakkai chuckled as he released a ball of chi.
"No, you're right. It is more cheesy than usual," Hakkai replied, smiling cheerfully as he deterred an attacking tentacle. The injured tentacle retracted as a squeal of pain emitted from its source.
"You bastards!" A cute little girl shouted, tears in her large, baby blue eyes. She cuddled the hurt tentacle, cooing comfortingly. Standing only four feet and some odd inches tall, even Goku towered over her. The girl looked no older than twelve with her cute and curly blond pig-tails tied up with pink ribbon. She wore a fluffy, frilly, and otherwise lacy dress of pink and white hues. The ugly greenish black tentacles seemed to sprout from her back. As the girl cradled the wounded tentacle, the four males regrouped and the other tentacles rushed to comfort their fallen comrade. Sanzo and gang stared in a mixture of confusion and disgust.
"Is she serious?" Goku asked, an eyebrow arched over a golden hued eye. The girl, who must have heard the monkey's comment, looked up sharply, hatred burning in her eyes. If looks could kill…
"Jesus, watch where you're going," someone muttered angrily, shoving past an equally angry girl. Loaded with books, the girl stumbled forward, trying to keep all the books in her arms. She remained silent, hazel eyes glinting coldly behind blood-red-framed glasses. One of the more noticeable features of this girl was her weight. Pudgy, chubby, flabby, and otherwise overweight, the girl wore loose, baggy blue jeans, a black t-shirt that must have been a bit too tight because she wore a baggy zip-up hoodie, also black. The hoodie was only zipped up about a fourth of the way, leaving the red and white words "Anime Freak" exposed to the world. Her shoulder-length dishwater blond hair was pulled up into pig-tails today, making the girl look peppier than she felt.
"Hey, Kate!" Someone called. The girl looked up and smiled, spotting her two fashion-savvy friends, Matt and Eric.
"Hey guys," She replied as she arrived at her locker. She shifted the books in her arms in order to free a hand to twist out the combination of locker.
"Kate, you'll never guess what Matt did today in Chemistry," Eric exclaimed excitedly.
"Did he have another emotional breakdown?" Kate replied, pulling the locker door open. Matt grinned sheepishly, leaning against the next locker over. Eric nodded energetically, giggling girlishly.
"Yeah," The two replied simultaneously.
"So," Kate questioned, swapping the books in her arms for the ones in her locker, "What did you break this time? A pencil? Your glasses? A desk?" She grinned, closing her locker and leaning against it, books clutched to her chest. Matt and Eric exchanged a surprised look.
"Yeah," Eric breathed.
"How'd you know?" Matt asked, eyes wide in awe. Kate blinked, surprised herself. But she quickly recovered from her confused state to take advantage of the situation.
"Matt, I know more than you could even dream of," Kate said mysteriously, "I've got sources everywhere…" She made a strange gesture before quickly trotting away.
'Those two always make me feel better,' Kate commented to herself, grinning. While wondering exactly how Matt had managed to break a desk, Kate failed to see the preppy and popular Brittany stop to chat in front of her.
Books clattered to the floor, papers flying every-which-way. Pens dive-bombed, exploding upon impact, the caps launching at the feet of passersby. Utter chaos as both girls lost their balance. Kate landed unceremoniously on her face. Tears already stung her hazel eyes. Brittany looked gorgeous even as she fell backwards, landing roughly on her rump. An indignant look spread across the fair face of the popular girl.
"Oh, I am so sorry," Kate started, hurriedly rising to her knees and gathering her books, embarrassment radiating from every pore on her face.
"Well, you should be, bitch," Brittany retorted, letting a swooning jock pull her to her feet while another picked up her books. Kate's eyes narrowed as she pushed herself to her feet.
"Fuck that, I'm not sorry," Kate muttered under her breath.
"What was that, looser?" Brittany demanded, shoving the stack of books back towards their holder as he offered them.
"You heard me, you pathetic excuse for a human being," is what Kate wanted to say, but, damn her passive personality, she merely glared. If looks could kill…
"Oh, I'm quite serious, ya bastard," The tentacle girl replied, the healthy extensions flailing angrily.
"Dude, what the hell's your problem?" Goku retorted, taking a 'battle' stance.
"Fuck Kougaji's orders!" The girl screamed, her tentacles lashing out at Sanzo and company.
"See? I told you she wasn't just some random demon!" Hakkai grinned at a sour-looking Gojyo.
"I'll see you all in hell!" The girl shouted, producing a scroll and unfurling it, eyes ablaze.
"Sanzo, what the hell is that?" Hakkai questioned, his stance swiftly switching from 'attack' to 'defense'.
"You ask me like I know," Sanzo replied, cocking his gun and taking aim.
"I asked you a question, bitch," Brittany repeated. Kate sought desperately for the courage to reply, but found nothing of the sort. Turning tail, Kate fled to the safety of her last class of the day.
Forty-five minutes of unintelligible Spanish blather later, Kate exited the class and made her bee-line for her locker. Normally, she would have had to stay for eighth period, but she'd managed to mooch a ride off of someone with a car.
"I've got math, Japanese, Physics, and Spanish for homework," Kate muttered to herself, standing in front of her open locker, empty book bag at her feet. "The question is, which ones am I really going to do over the weekend?" A few more moments of silent pondering rewarded the empty bag with a Japanese book, a pink notebook, a blue-covered physics book, a physics notebook with no cover, and a graphing calculator covered in small, cute animal stickers.
"C'mon, Kate, I want to go home!" A femme voice called from the end of the hallway. Kate closed both her book bag and her locker and smiled at her underclassman friend.
"Sorry, Meghan, I'm coming!" She flung her navy book back over her shoulder and trotted off after Meghan.
"Thanks for the ride, Meg," Kate said, stepping out of the car. "I'll just walk from here," Megan smiled.
"Heh, I was going to make you walk,"
"I figured as much," Kate replied, backing away. Meghan pulled into her garage as Kate took off down the sidewalk.
The young demoness began chanting something, glaring at Sanzo and party. The air became heavy and the wind picked up. Goku looked over at Sanzo, silently asking what he should do. Sanzo replied with a look of his own. If looks could kill…
"I hope you jerks like heat, because it's going to be scorching where I'm sending you!" The girl's chanting had ended – bodiless voices picked up where she left off.
"Oh, we've won a free trip!" Gojyo exclaimed excitedly.
"To where, may I ask?" Hakkai grinned, looking at his foe expectantly.
"Oh, you've won the trip of a lifetime," The girl growled, "I'm sending you to Hell!" Sanzo pressed down on the trigger as a bright flash of light blinded him and his companions. The chanting had been getting steadily louder, but had now abruptly stopped as the light dazzled the optical senses. An odd sensation came over the four males. It felt as if their innards were being pulled out in all directions. A rippling sensation moved over their skin, and their hair stood on end.
What the hell was going on?
The wind picked up and began whipping Kate's pigtails around. With a grunt, Kate grabbed her pigtails and roughly held them down, preventing them from attacking her face. Her pace quickened as the wind raged.
'How odd…' Kate thought, stumbling as a rather strong gust of wind blew past. A flash of lightning danced across the darkened sky, blinding the girl for a few moments.
The sensations became quite painful as another flash of light replaced the fading original. Sanzo searched the bright expanse for the demon girl, gun cocked and ready. The sensations subsided; the light faded fast. Catching sight of an odd, yet humanoid form, Sanzo directed his comrade's attention towards the form. Weapons whipped around to point at the form. The light dimmed, various hued eyes blinked in surprise. Sanzo's gun, Gojyo's scythe, Goku's staff, and Hakkai's ball of energy were all pressed against pudgy, pale skin.
"What the hell?" Gojyo muttered, retracting his weapon and staring at the pigtailed girl in confusion.
"Holy shit!" The girl breathed, eyes wide behind her glasses.
"Holy shit is right," Hakkai agreed, letting his chi fade away. Goku pulled back his staff and leaned on it, frowning.
"I'm hungry…" He stated poking his stomach. Sanzo had yet to withdraw his gun from the girl's forehead.
"Where the hell are we?" He asked, keeping his gun in place.