Audrey Moon had always had an interesting life. Yet, she never completely
discovered who she was until much later in her life; when she was eleven
years old, in fact. She knew that her family was marked by something very
different according to the typical American family. Yes, her parents were
both foreigners from Europe, but there was a very securely hidden secret in
the family. Ever since she could talk and think for herself, she noticed
that her father sometimes did very strange things (like being visited by
owls. Rarely, but it had happened) and he often went on business trips to
Europe, mostly England, taking with him strange clothing like cloaks and
robes. And when she was eight her sister, Marianne, left for boarding
school in England. But this was very strange, since Marianne never told
Audrey of the long airplane flights or the stories about her school or
about her teachers and friends. And Marianne packed her strange belongings
(quills, parchment, books, cloaks) in a trunk instead of suitcases, like a
normal person, Audrey thought. Of course, being a curious child, she had
always asked about her papa's business trips and her sister's things
(especially a wooden stick, like a wand, which she saw once when her sister
was packing her trunk). But her papa always told her " You'll understand
when you're older and go off to boarding school." And Marianne would insist
"It's nunya business! Go away!" So this basically made Audrey more curious.
Unfortunately, her papa could, apparently, keep the family secret, well,
secret and so could Marianne. But she would always lower her eyebrows and
grimace and say "I'll find out, you know, I will."
Try as she might, she never understood. Many times she would come so close that if she had just looked more closely, the great secret would have appeared right before her eyes. But Audrey lived her life in New England as a carefree, innocent girl, her only problems of teachers and schoolwork. And then, something terrible happened to the family that changed the course of their lives. Isabella Moon, Audrey's mother, died of a heart attack. Audrey began to shut herself up in her room, not wanting to look at the rest of the world, not wanting to see happiness. Marianne, the vivacious one, wouldn't talk much anymore, creating the dullest and gloomiest atmosphere in the household. And Jonathan Moon was nowhere to be seen. More often than not, he was extremely busy at work and hardly ever stayed at home with his lonely daughters. Not only did this tragedy affect Audrey and the rest of her family, it was also of great importance to Austria, where Isabella had been part of a noble family. Naturally, Audrey went to the grand funeral in Austria with the rest of her family. But Audrey, Marianne and Jonathan regretted having gone, as it was awful. It was especially horrible for Audrey, who was the youngest at only ten years of age. Everyone who attended knew who she was, and they kept pointing fingers and giving glances full of sympathy. Whispers followed her wherever she went.
"Is that Lady Isabella's child?"
"What a poor, sweet thing!"
"It must be awful losing a mother."
"And she's so young!"
Audrey couldn't take it anymore, it was too much. All the black clothing, all the lilies, all the nodding of the head, all the pretending that nothing was wrong, all the people looking at her with such sad and pitying faces. When she arrived back home, she was so happy to get back to her normal daily routine, forcing her to not have to think of her mother every second she was alone. But the day they returned to the house her father announced, very gravely, that they would be moving soon. "To England! But Papa, I like America. I love it here, even. I like school and I have friends and -" but she was interrupted by one of her father's menacing looks. "But Papa, I'm only ten and I don't have a mother." She stopped. Her father's expression was so saddened by these words. This was the last thing Audrey had expected to say, but her mouth flew and it was too late. She had not meant to say this, she later remembered. It was just that she had finally adjusted to school and now she would have to start again, in a different country, for that matter. But what could she do? Absolutely nothing.
To England they moved the next summer, where Marianne was closer to school and her father's accent wasn't out of place, as it had been in New England. Although the rest of the family quickly got back on track (missing Isabella greatly, but still going), Audrey did not adjust to her new "home." She refused to go out of the house for any occasion except going to school because she wanted to keep her father happy after everything that had happened. She would close herself up in her bedroom, reading books and more books. Reading was her obsession. The idea that she could get out of this world and into her own fantasy gave her reason to keep on going. She obeyed her teachers and she rarely fought with her sister. Even though she put a smile on her lips and never complained or behaved badly, she wasn't doing very well. Marianne was the first to notice that something was going wrong, badly wrong.
"Hey, are you ok?" she asked during the first Christmas break since they moved.
"Yeah, Mari, I'm fine" Audrey would smile. But Marianne noticed the exhaustion and great remorse in Audrey's grey eyes.
"How was school?" Marianne tried again.
"It was fine. I like the holidays, though" Audrey smiled again. "How was yours?"
"It was great! Although, I think I didn't do as well in my History of Ma. of Madagascar class as I should of." Marianne tried not to blink, but Audrey noticed she was lying. History of Madagascar? Ok.this was a bit unusual. "But it was good." Marianne trailed off again. Audrey knew something was up. This was the first time in three years that Marianne had ever said anything about her school. Audrey wanted to keep on talking to Marianne, but her sister had left the room quickly, cursing at herself. She tried forgetting about it, but it was hard. Marianne was so strange from all the other teenagers around. She wasn't into pop music or into the clothing fashions of the time or into the movies as much as a normal (in Audrey's opinion) teenager should be. And even though she had gotten used to having Marianne at school all year, she thought that it would be better next year when she would join Marianne at the boarding school, even if there was a History of Madagascar class.
This boarding school had become one of Audrey's main interests. Being the last year in primary school, all the other children had found the next school which they would attend for seven years. This was a different experience for Audrey, especially since in the states, one went to elementary school for about nine years and then on to high school.
But Audrey's father hadn't even begun to search for a new school. Audrey supposed she would either be attending the public school or that she would somehow find a way to apply to Marianne's school. But applying to Marianne's school was impossible, she found, because she didn't even know the name, location, etc. about this school. Actually, she didn't know anything at all, except that Marianne had to take the train from London to get there and that Marianne would leave a week before term started to meet with some friends and get her supplies for the year. But Audrey let it be. She knew her father would do something about school; he wouldn't abandon the situation, would he?
As the school year kept going, her father didn't mention anything about what she would do next year and Audrey stayed quite the same: solitary, quiet and shy. And as the school year came to a close, Audrey couldn't stand the situation at hand. She had to ask her father, she just had to. Two days after the term ended and summer began, Audrey went up to her father. She was a bit nervous, especially because after Isabella's death she usually didn't stand up to her father and she didn't usually talk much except when talked to. But she gathered the tiny bit of courage she had inside her.
"Papa, where will I go to school? You haven't said anything and I thought I would be going with Mari next year, but -"
"Of course you'll join Marianne for next term" he replied, looking at her from his desk.
"But where will I go? I don't even know the name of the school. And you haven't applied me anywhere, and-" she wavered some, knowing that she was probably saying too much already. She played with her hands, twisting her fingers, her light skin even paler in the dim light of her father's study.
"Audrey, don't fret. I've already talked to the headmaster and I believe you'll be accepted sometime this summer." Her father smiled at her, his eyes twinkling and full of laughter, something that rarely happened, especially since they moved to England. Audrey nodded her head and turned around, going out the door and into her room. It wasn't full with many things, just a bed with a simple bed cover, a desk that was usually covered with school books, bare walls, a wall-length mirror a bit taller than her with a plain wooden frame, and, most treasured than anything else, a tall bookshelf that reached up to the ceiling. It was made of a dark oak with strange markings and engravings on the sides. The patterns seemed to be of deep gashes and swirled marks, creating a structure that looked mysterious but welcoming. It looked as if it had been in existence for a long period of time but it was still very sturdy and the engravings hadn't even worn off. It had been her mother's and Audrey had taken possession of it because of her love for books, a trait she had inherited from Isabella. When entering the room, she locked the door, grabbed the book she was reading and threw herself on the small bed. Her books had been her salvation during that first year in a foreign country. There was nothing better than shutting herself up in her room and drifting off to fantasy lands full of magic and adventure, with heroism and bravery. These stories made her forget about where she was and when she was at school, these adventures would make the long lessons bearable. But at the moment, nothing could help her worrying thoughts. 'Where is Marianne's school, and why doesn't anyone tell me anything? I guess they still think I'm a little girl. Mama would have told me. She didn't ignore me. But she never told me about Mari's school either. Why don't I understand this?' All of a sudden, a cat with shinny, glossy black fur leaped unto her stomach.
"Hello, Stardust. Did you get your dinner?" Audrey rubbed his ears and looked gently at his eyes. They were golden flecked with dark brown streaks and by looking into them, Audrey found herself at peace, like always. Stardust had been the other comfort Audrey had in England. She loved him dearly and it seemed that Stardust liked her company as well. Her father usually found them together on Audrey's bed, like two dear friends talking and understanding each other clearly. Marianne had tried to bring Stardust with her to school, but the cat seemed to refuse and would rather stay with Audrey. "Look Stardust, I'm reading about magic" Audrey began to say, but stopped. After a pause, she continued "Of course it's magic, I'm always reading about magic!" She slammed the book down on the floor and looked back at the cat. "Magic, it's such a cruel lie. And here I am, wishing it were real. I'm lying to myself. You must get sick of hearing me ramble about my magic lands and my."
"I don't mind."
".fantasy adventures and all of...What?" Audrey stared at the cat in astonishment. It was looking straight back, its golden eyes full of mischief. "Did you.you didn't.were you.am I going crazy?" Audrey stumbled upon the words, not knowing exactly whether to jump up and run out of the room or stay as still as possible.
"I don't think you are, but I wouldn't exactly know. I'm a feline, after all. Humans are quite different when it comes to problems in the brain, or so I've heard." Audrey heard these words, but she did not see them spoken. And her cat was just casually regarding her while at the same time licking his front paw. Audrey didn't say anything for a minute or so, but was frantically thinking of excuses that would explain this. But she couldn't come up with anything.
"Don't worry. You've been able to hear me for ages. You just didn't acknowledge the facts in front of you." Stardust had finished cleaning his left paw and had started on the right, lifting it up while glancing at Audrey.
"But I didn't say anything. And you haven't actually said anything either" Audrey was now shocked beyond anything else. There was absolutely no explanation available, or so it seemed.
"Audrey, I said don't worry about it. And don't look at me like that. I know I can't talk, you can just hear my thoughts." He was ferociously attacking his side with his pink, leathery tongue.
"Ok, so if I can hear you, can you hear me?" Audrey was getting accustomed to this. And hey, maybe it could be fun. 'Stardust can be my friend' she thought.
"Well, I can hear you when you're thinking about me or when you don't mind me hearing you. And of course I'll be your friend, I always have been." This time, the cat looked gently at her and stopped cleaning himself. She was about to ask Stardust something by only thinking, but there was a sudden rap on the door.
"Audrey, sweetie. Are you ok?" Her father slowly cracked the door, looking in at her. "I think you should go to bed now, it's getting late." He came in and crossed over to her bed, patting Stardust on the head.
I'm fine, Papa. Just reading my book" she hastily pointed at the book lying on the floor with all the pages rumpled.
"Oh." her father bent down and grabbed on to the book. "What's this one about?" he asked kindly while placing it on the bed beside his daughter.
"Um, it's summer reading. I, um, I'm getting a head start" she mumbled, picking the book up and smoothing down the cover.
"The Golden Compass, from the series 'His Dark Materials.' Sounds very educational" he looked at Audrey with a teasingly questioned look.
"Immensely educational" she grinned.
"Listen, I have to go to London tomorrow on business. I'll pick Marianne up at the train station while I'm there. You call the neighbors if you need anything, ok?" her father rubbed the cat again.
"Oh," Audrey pushed herself up with her hands anxiously "can I come with you?"
"It'll be boring, I promise." Her father decided to risk it. "I'll be meeting with the Ministry of Magic in the morning and then going on to buy a magic wand. Would you like something?" He grinned and looked at his daughter.
"Boring? I'll go!" Audrey smiled. "Papa, I wish you were saying the truth. So don't tease me like that. One day, I'll find myself believing you. I'll be ok, just don't forget to call me."
"I won't forget. Come along, Stardust. Bedtime." He lightly kissed Audrey on the head and gently pushed the cat off the bed and walked towards the door. "Good night, sweetie."
"Bye, Papa. I love you." Audrey blew a kiss as her father closed the door. She glimpsed at the book and cringed. The pages had crumpled and folded when she had thrown it on the floor. "And this was one Mama had given me" she whispered to herself. She placed the worn book lovingly on the bookshelf and returned to her bed, pulling the covers up to her chest. She fell asleep immediately.
Early the next morning, Audrey woke with a start. She remembered how Stardust had talked to her the night before. But then she lay back down. She had probably been sleeping and dreaming already, she thought. She let it go, but got out of bed just the same. She wanted to prepare dinner for Marianne's homecoming, just as her mother had always done. She quickly got dressed and went down to the kitchen, which was full of sunshine and dirty dishes from her father's breakfast. Stardust came and rubbed against her legs, begging for food. "You haven't eaten yet, have you, sweetie?" she crooned.
"No, and I'm starving! Do you have fish?" he asked excitedly.
So it hadn't been a dream, and Audrey found that she could talk to Stardust.
Try as she might, she never understood. Many times she would come so close that if she had just looked more closely, the great secret would have appeared right before her eyes. But Audrey lived her life in New England as a carefree, innocent girl, her only problems of teachers and schoolwork. And then, something terrible happened to the family that changed the course of their lives. Isabella Moon, Audrey's mother, died of a heart attack. Audrey began to shut herself up in her room, not wanting to look at the rest of the world, not wanting to see happiness. Marianne, the vivacious one, wouldn't talk much anymore, creating the dullest and gloomiest atmosphere in the household. And Jonathan Moon was nowhere to be seen. More often than not, he was extremely busy at work and hardly ever stayed at home with his lonely daughters. Not only did this tragedy affect Audrey and the rest of her family, it was also of great importance to Austria, where Isabella had been part of a noble family. Naturally, Audrey went to the grand funeral in Austria with the rest of her family. But Audrey, Marianne and Jonathan regretted having gone, as it was awful. It was especially horrible for Audrey, who was the youngest at only ten years of age. Everyone who attended knew who she was, and they kept pointing fingers and giving glances full of sympathy. Whispers followed her wherever she went.
"Is that Lady Isabella's child?"
"What a poor, sweet thing!"
"It must be awful losing a mother."
"And she's so young!"
Audrey couldn't take it anymore, it was too much. All the black clothing, all the lilies, all the nodding of the head, all the pretending that nothing was wrong, all the people looking at her with such sad and pitying faces. When she arrived back home, she was so happy to get back to her normal daily routine, forcing her to not have to think of her mother every second she was alone. But the day they returned to the house her father announced, very gravely, that they would be moving soon. "To England! But Papa, I like America. I love it here, even. I like school and I have friends and -" but she was interrupted by one of her father's menacing looks. "But Papa, I'm only ten and I don't have a mother." She stopped. Her father's expression was so saddened by these words. This was the last thing Audrey had expected to say, but her mouth flew and it was too late. She had not meant to say this, she later remembered. It was just that she had finally adjusted to school and now she would have to start again, in a different country, for that matter. But what could she do? Absolutely nothing.
To England they moved the next summer, where Marianne was closer to school and her father's accent wasn't out of place, as it had been in New England. Although the rest of the family quickly got back on track (missing Isabella greatly, but still going), Audrey did not adjust to her new "home." She refused to go out of the house for any occasion except going to school because she wanted to keep her father happy after everything that had happened. She would close herself up in her bedroom, reading books and more books. Reading was her obsession. The idea that she could get out of this world and into her own fantasy gave her reason to keep on going. She obeyed her teachers and she rarely fought with her sister. Even though she put a smile on her lips and never complained or behaved badly, she wasn't doing very well. Marianne was the first to notice that something was going wrong, badly wrong.
"Hey, are you ok?" she asked during the first Christmas break since they moved.
"Yeah, Mari, I'm fine" Audrey would smile. But Marianne noticed the exhaustion and great remorse in Audrey's grey eyes.
"How was school?" Marianne tried again.
"It was fine. I like the holidays, though" Audrey smiled again. "How was yours?"
"It was great! Although, I think I didn't do as well in my History of Ma. of Madagascar class as I should of." Marianne tried not to blink, but Audrey noticed she was lying. History of Madagascar? Ok.this was a bit unusual. "But it was good." Marianne trailed off again. Audrey knew something was up. This was the first time in three years that Marianne had ever said anything about her school. Audrey wanted to keep on talking to Marianne, but her sister had left the room quickly, cursing at herself. She tried forgetting about it, but it was hard. Marianne was so strange from all the other teenagers around. She wasn't into pop music or into the clothing fashions of the time or into the movies as much as a normal (in Audrey's opinion) teenager should be. And even though she had gotten used to having Marianne at school all year, she thought that it would be better next year when she would join Marianne at the boarding school, even if there was a History of Madagascar class.
This boarding school had become one of Audrey's main interests. Being the last year in primary school, all the other children had found the next school which they would attend for seven years. This was a different experience for Audrey, especially since in the states, one went to elementary school for about nine years and then on to high school.
But Audrey's father hadn't even begun to search for a new school. Audrey supposed she would either be attending the public school or that she would somehow find a way to apply to Marianne's school. But applying to Marianne's school was impossible, she found, because she didn't even know the name, location, etc. about this school. Actually, she didn't know anything at all, except that Marianne had to take the train from London to get there and that Marianne would leave a week before term started to meet with some friends and get her supplies for the year. But Audrey let it be. She knew her father would do something about school; he wouldn't abandon the situation, would he?
As the school year kept going, her father didn't mention anything about what she would do next year and Audrey stayed quite the same: solitary, quiet and shy. And as the school year came to a close, Audrey couldn't stand the situation at hand. She had to ask her father, she just had to. Two days after the term ended and summer began, Audrey went up to her father. She was a bit nervous, especially because after Isabella's death she usually didn't stand up to her father and she didn't usually talk much except when talked to. But she gathered the tiny bit of courage she had inside her.
"Papa, where will I go to school? You haven't said anything and I thought I would be going with Mari next year, but -"
"Of course you'll join Marianne for next term" he replied, looking at her from his desk.
"But where will I go? I don't even know the name of the school. And you haven't applied me anywhere, and-" she wavered some, knowing that she was probably saying too much already. She played with her hands, twisting her fingers, her light skin even paler in the dim light of her father's study.
"Audrey, don't fret. I've already talked to the headmaster and I believe you'll be accepted sometime this summer." Her father smiled at her, his eyes twinkling and full of laughter, something that rarely happened, especially since they moved to England. Audrey nodded her head and turned around, going out the door and into her room. It wasn't full with many things, just a bed with a simple bed cover, a desk that was usually covered with school books, bare walls, a wall-length mirror a bit taller than her with a plain wooden frame, and, most treasured than anything else, a tall bookshelf that reached up to the ceiling. It was made of a dark oak with strange markings and engravings on the sides. The patterns seemed to be of deep gashes and swirled marks, creating a structure that looked mysterious but welcoming. It looked as if it had been in existence for a long period of time but it was still very sturdy and the engravings hadn't even worn off. It had been her mother's and Audrey had taken possession of it because of her love for books, a trait she had inherited from Isabella. When entering the room, she locked the door, grabbed the book she was reading and threw herself on the small bed. Her books had been her salvation during that first year in a foreign country. There was nothing better than shutting herself up in her room and drifting off to fantasy lands full of magic and adventure, with heroism and bravery. These stories made her forget about where she was and when she was at school, these adventures would make the long lessons bearable. But at the moment, nothing could help her worrying thoughts. 'Where is Marianne's school, and why doesn't anyone tell me anything? I guess they still think I'm a little girl. Mama would have told me. She didn't ignore me. But she never told me about Mari's school either. Why don't I understand this?' All of a sudden, a cat with shinny, glossy black fur leaped unto her stomach.
"Hello, Stardust. Did you get your dinner?" Audrey rubbed his ears and looked gently at his eyes. They were golden flecked with dark brown streaks and by looking into them, Audrey found herself at peace, like always. Stardust had been the other comfort Audrey had in England. She loved him dearly and it seemed that Stardust liked her company as well. Her father usually found them together on Audrey's bed, like two dear friends talking and understanding each other clearly. Marianne had tried to bring Stardust with her to school, but the cat seemed to refuse and would rather stay with Audrey. "Look Stardust, I'm reading about magic" Audrey began to say, but stopped. After a pause, she continued "Of course it's magic, I'm always reading about magic!" She slammed the book down on the floor and looked back at the cat. "Magic, it's such a cruel lie. And here I am, wishing it were real. I'm lying to myself. You must get sick of hearing me ramble about my magic lands and my."
"I don't mind."
".fantasy adventures and all of...What?" Audrey stared at the cat in astonishment. It was looking straight back, its golden eyes full of mischief. "Did you.you didn't.were you.am I going crazy?" Audrey stumbled upon the words, not knowing exactly whether to jump up and run out of the room or stay as still as possible.
"I don't think you are, but I wouldn't exactly know. I'm a feline, after all. Humans are quite different when it comes to problems in the brain, or so I've heard." Audrey heard these words, but she did not see them spoken. And her cat was just casually regarding her while at the same time licking his front paw. Audrey didn't say anything for a minute or so, but was frantically thinking of excuses that would explain this. But she couldn't come up with anything.
"Don't worry. You've been able to hear me for ages. You just didn't acknowledge the facts in front of you." Stardust had finished cleaning his left paw and had started on the right, lifting it up while glancing at Audrey.
"But I didn't say anything. And you haven't actually said anything either" Audrey was now shocked beyond anything else. There was absolutely no explanation available, or so it seemed.
"Audrey, I said don't worry about it. And don't look at me like that. I know I can't talk, you can just hear my thoughts." He was ferociously attacking his side with his pink, leathery tongue.
"Ok, so if I can hear you, can you hear me?" Audrey was getting accustomed to this. And hey, maybe it could be fun. 'Stardust can be my friend' she thought.
"Well, I can hear you when you're thinking about me or when you don't mind me hearing you. And of course I'll be your friend, I always have been." This time, the cat looked gently at her and stopped cleaning himself. She was about to ask Stardust something by only thinking, but there was a sudden rap on the door.
"Audrey, sweetie. Are you ok?" Her father slowly cracked the door, looking in at her. "I think you should go to bed now, it's getting late." He came in and crossed over to her bed, patting Stardust on the head.
I'm fine, Papa. Just reading my book" she hastily pointed at the book lying on the floor with all the pages rumpled.
"Oh." her father bent down and grabbed on to the book. "What's this one about?" he asked kindly while placing it on the bed beside his daughter.
"Um, it's summer reading. I, um, I'm getting a head start" she mumbled, picking the book up and smoothing down the cover.
"The Golden Compass, from the series 'His Dark Materials.' Sounds very educational" he looked at Audrey with a teasingly questioned look.
"Immensely educational" she grinned.
"Listen, I have to go to London tomorrow on business. I'll pick Marianne up at the train station while I'm there. You call the neighbors if you need anything, ok?" her father rubbed the cat again.
"Oh," Audrey pushed herself up with her hands anxiously "can I come with you?"
"It'll be boring, I promise." Her father decided to risk it. "I'll be meeting with the Ministry of Magic in the morning and then going on to buy a magic wand. Would you like something?" He grinned and looked at his daughter.
"Boring? I'll go!" Audrey smiled. "Papa, I wish you were saying the truth. So don't tease me like that. One day, I'll find myself believing you. I'll be ok, just don't forget to call me."
"I won't forget. Come along, Stardust. Bedtime." He lightly kissed Audrey on the head and gently pushed the cat off the bed and walked towards the door. "Good night, sweetie."
"Bye, Papa. I love you." Audrey blew a kiss as her father closed the door. She glimpsed at the book and cringed. The pages had crumpled and folded when she had thrown it on the floor. "And this was one Mama had given me" she whispered to herself. She placed the worn book lovingly on the bookshelf and returned to her bed, pulling the covers up to her chest. She fell asleep immediately.
Early the next morning, Audrey woke with a start. She remembered how Stardust had talked to her the night before. But then she lay back down. She had probably been sleeping and dreaming already, she thought. She let it go, but got out of bed just the same. She wanted to prepare dinner for Marianne's homecoming, just as her mother had always done. She quickly got dressed and went down to the kitchen, which was full of sunshine and dirty dishes from her father's breakfast. Stardust came and rubbed against her legs, begging for food. "You haven't eaten yet, have you, sweetie?" she crooned.
"No, and I'm starving! Do you have fish?" he asked excitedly.
So it hadn't been a dream, and Audrey found that she could talk to Stardust.