Title: Euterpe
Pairing: Mayuzumi X Kuroko
Notes: Ahahhahaaaa, MayuKuro strikes again and this time, I decided to write 25 AUs based off of a comic called 25 Lives by Hwei Lim. It is super adorable and I recommend you see it after you read this story! Please enjoy the story as much as I did writing it!
The first time we met, you were only a lonely painter, hiding behind curtains of blue hair and eyes as deep as the ocean. I, as your current temporary muse, stood before you in all of my uninterested glory, and simply looked at you as you set out to capture my presence. At first, I didn't enjoy sitting in your studio on that small stool posing an awfully awkward pose. But even if I asked you to hurry up or brushed away any pieces of conversation you tried to initiate, you just smiled that polite smile of yours, and told me you would do your best to finish as quickly as possible. I laughed bitterly to myself as I felt a strange feeling in my chest flutter at your words, allowing my lips to tug itself into an amused smirk.
Days turned into weeks, while weeks turned into months. Eventually, even without the position of being your muse, I still decided to stay in your studio, sitting on that small stool in front of your backdrop. I still posed for you, earning your praise at my cooperation, and still continued to brush off your inquiries of how I'm doing or what I've been up to during the hours I didn't see you. Why, I ask myself the same questions. You just said them out loud for me, which makes me wonder who you really are behind that blue curtain of yours.
"Kuroko Tetsuya. Ironic how I've never told you my name before, Mayuzumi-san." You never took your eyes off that easel of yours, but I can feel your gaze observe even the smallest of quirks in my reactions. Your brush glides across the canvas, mixing the colors already present into a new discovery of wonder. "If only you would allow the words to fall out of my mouth, I would've told you sooner. No need to fret, however, for I'll answer any of your questions if you so happen to ask."
I stayed quiet at those words for a while that day. Had I realized that sooner, I would've already pushed you away from that canvas that day and took you home with me and never let you leave. But I didn't, and that was my mistake. I thought, maybe, I was over thinking this, and didn't want to press the matter any further. Instead, I let this go on for far too long, because I realized that in that lifetime, I didn't love you back. I would let my silver hair fall over my eyes as I thought about why you let me come to your studio each day and sit on that stool, not caring if I changed my pose anymore. You chuckled softly at my state of mind and continued sketching my figure.
The next time we met, I was a waiter at a small lounge made for the rich and famous, while you were a mute best-selling author who regularly came by for vanilla shakes and occasional one-sided conversations with me. I, as the only waiter who understood the petite blue haired beauty, would slowly make my way to your table and hand you your desired drink, and go back to work so I could glance at you with my grey eyes in curiosity. If you noticed I looked at you, you didn't seem to mind, because you would just look out the window of that second level lounge and sigh in content. I always meant to ask you why.
It was a rainy day, one of which had no customers enter the lounge, before you strolled right in soaked to the bone with heavy rain and sighing relief. Panic struck through me and I offered you a shirt to wear, but you politely declined my offer and went to sit at that table in the corner, not caring if you got sick the next day. Putting down your drink in front of you, I took the liberty to sit across from you and give you my best puzzling look of annoyance before you glanced right back at me. It was then that I realized I should've done it sooner.
"You know, Kuroko, you're going to get sick of those shakes one day. We're a classy joint. We can make you classier drinks suiting your taste." You gave me a mocking pout and pretended to be offended, making me roll my eyes. "I'm serious! You're like a child when you drink those things. If I were you, I'd choose a chocolate beverage over that any day. How can you stand the same thing over and over again?"
You smiled at me, not politely but amused, and took out your small silver flipbook. The pen holding together the locked book was pulled out with grace and you scribbled something on the pages. When you turned it around for me to see, I must've been confused, because you looked at me with a gaze that seemed so sad that I didn't want to see it anymore. On the page was a picture of me gazing to the side with my eyes contemplating something I didn't recognize at the time. When you flipped the book closed and looked out the window to avoid my gaze, I realized in that lifetime, I loved you back. I would then come every day to your table and inquire about how you were doing, even if I probably already knew the answer. You sighed in content and continued to scribble words across the flipping pages before I noticed one day that your answer was strange to me.
After a while, I didn't care for our positions in the world, because I knew that it didn't matter in the end anyway. Even if you were a kindergarten teacher with bright eyes and loving gazes looking after the little monsters I called kids, I would be the uncle to the little girl who often drew you pictures of her being your lovely bride. You would meet me with tender expressions at the guardian-teacher meetings and pull out the many 'wedding photos' to let me know how precious my niece was. She always told you she wanted you to join the family, to which you would laugh lightly and brush off the next minute. Deep down, I wondered if you wanted to join the family too.
My niece was graduating kindergarten when I went up to you to retrieve her from your arms, much to her misery. I was feeling something similar, because I stood near you far longer than I should have on that summer day. You didn't mind, seeing as how you offered to us both to have a picnic under the shade of the cherry blossom tree on the nearby hill. When we sat down, your attention wasn't on my niece, who was calling out your name with an added 'uncle' to it. Your eyebrows furrowed for just a minute before I coughed into my hand to get your attention.
"Kuroko, I think we've become quite close in these past few months. I think my dear old niece won't be the only one missing you." Your small lips tugged at the corners, a sign that you wanted to smile but didn't know if you really wanted to. "How can I convince you to be around me more often?"
We were both silent for a while before you took out a small silver flipbook locked with a pen. You flipped a few pages before finding the one you were apparently looking for. You handed the page to me, which instantly made me flustered and blushing madly. I covered my face with my silver hair as I saw that your lips eventually did become a smile. A few weeks later, we entered a steadily growing couple, which did eventually end up with a ring on your small hand. On the day after we were married, I saw you pick up that page you handed me that summer day and look at me with a raised eyebrow. I shrugged my shoulders, half because I didn't know why I kept it, and half because I didn't have an explanation as to why I liked what was written on the page.
"It'd be much nicer if you continued to be at my side." The page said. That piece of paper with those words on it was exactly the reason why I realized I really loved you that lifetime.
There was one lifetime that almost had me end it prematurely. It was one where you didn't exist at all, which made me go insane within the labyrinth I called a mind. All I had that reminded me of you was the ring loosely tied around my neck with a silver chain, one of which I never remembered how I got. I was an isolated being, never going outside of my small house on the country-side so I could paint your picture from memory every day of my sad life. Who knew that a piece of paper could never replace the real thing? My grey eyes, old with age, would stare at the sketch I've made dedicated to you with desperation. I prayed every day to the non-existent god that you would reappear in my life.
I placed your favorite flowers next to the sketch I dedicated to you today. The sketch was taken down and painted over with thick black lines. Eventually, that was taken down too and I painted over it with soft water-colors to try to match the softness of your figure. The forget-me-nots that frame your picture almost resemble that small puff of blue hair that I loved to run my hands through during those idle days we spent together before. A neighbor of mine, someone with red hair I could never remember, came over to tell me I was dying. He stopped his explanation and stared at the picture framed with small flowers.
"Chihiro," His voice was laced with sadness as he said my name. I knew I was going to get a lecture, but I didn't know what I was getting lectured about. It made me scowl at the fact. "This Kuroko Tetsuya you've been obsessing with… What was he like?" I stared at him. I can't remember if I felt a pang of pain in my heart at that question or the feeling of relief when someone finally believed in me. "Please tell me all about him."
My last days, the redhead came to visit me without fail to hear more and more about you. I applauded his sudden interest in you with all of my sarcastic efforts, but I was secretly happy that I could pass on your legacy. Playing with the ring around my neck, I recounted all the times I met you, even if they didn't make any sense as an entire lifetime. Perhaps I loved you too much, even now, because I knew that loving you was as simple as breathing. When you don't exist during the time I'm alive, I don't care, because I know that you still exist in my heart. The redhead quietly listened to my stories with interest and proposed that I make something for you before I die. I agreed, and before I died, I made you a sky blue blown glass figure resembling the very same forget-me-nots I framed your life with. I imagined you would smile at me with such love and care that I would've died at your expression alone.
I was glad when I found out the next lifetime would have you exist alongside with me. You were my neighbor, one of which I grew up with every second of my life. We were both basketball fanatics who would never get noticed on the court, even if we pulled our shirts over our heads to make people laugh. That wasn't bad, to say the least, because at least we did it together, despite my gender being the opposite of yours. My two year age difference was nothing because we still went to the same schools and walked home together. Even with your quiet demeanor, I knew deep down that you enjoyed my company as much as I did yours during those hardworking days of reading textbooks. My woman's intuition was a god given power, after all.
I was at your house for the after-graduation party that was planned for you by your two loving half-sisters. They were nice girls, I would tell you, and you would smile at them and kiss them both on their cheeks. We were in your room betting on who was going to be your dorm roommate at our university when I noticed something in your room that I didn't think was there before. It was a glass figure resembling forget-me-nots, and when I asked about who gave it to you, you smiled at me with such a sincere and loving expression, that I thought I would've died right then and there. My heart thumped awfully loudly in my chest, which made me worry if you could hear it.
"Ah, Chihiro-chan, that? It was given to me by someone who was very special to me." I frowned, thinking you had someone closer to you than I was. You must've sensed my frown, because you put your hand on my head and ruffled my hair, although it was lightly because you didn't want to ruin my perfectly done hair that I spent hours on just for you. "Don't be like that. I owe it to them to care for it. I left them alone for far too long." You took my hand into yours and pulled me gently.
I was puzzled by your answer, but by the time I stopped caring, I was already kissing you heatedly in our secret hiding place amongst your garden. No one would come and bother us, you had said, because your half-sisters knew not to pester you when I was over. I laughed into our kisses because you were ridiculously adorable in my eyes. Even when we were both lightheaded, I kept kissing your neck with soft grazes, enjoying the vibrations of your laughter that erupted from your throat. You rolled us both over so I was on the bottom and pecked my nose softly before getting up. I whined, saying I didn't want you to go, but you said you had something for me. When you came back, you presented me with a simple bracelet, one of which I noted as something you made yourself. It was a beautiful silver chain with sapphires embedded into it, which I happily thought had resembled us.
You were a depressed petite quiet soft-spoken girl in another lifetime. I was the popular high-school senpai that everyone looked up to, much to my annoyance. I was on the rooftop reading my favorite light novels before I noticed you crying your eyes out on the edge on the building. I grabbed your arm and pulled you away from the edge because I couldn't help but think I didn't want to lose you. You didn't speak to me when I sat across from you on the rooftop, even when the bell rang to signal our next class. I waited patiently for you to say something, but by the time school ended, I realized you never made a sound that didn't resemble some sort of sobbing. The only time I went near you was to dry your tears, which landed on each of the sapphires that were strung around my wrist.
When you didn't appear at school the next few days, I took the liberty of asking for your information from lower classmen. They all told me you were a quiet girl who everyone spread rumors as the ghost girl, making me absolutely furious at the way they snickered about how you would die alone. I never thanked them or even bat an eyelash at them for the remainder of the school year. Instead, I spent time with the teachers who told me reluctantly about how you lived only with your sickly grandmother, one of which they speculated has already died. I went to your house on the weekend to check on you.
"…Mayuzumi-senpai? What are you doing here?" I didn't answer. Instead, I forced my way inside your door and ignored you when you screamed at me to stop. When I entered your living room, I instantly saw the small shrine made out to a photo of three people, all of which I recognized as your family. You were near tears when I scooped you up in a tight embrace. "I want to be alone. Please, just leave."
I spent my last few school days visiting you and making sure you were okay. Each time you didn't answer your door, I went around the back entrance to find you sitting in the middle of a patch of assorted flowers. Silence was the only thing we mutually agreed on before the day of my graduation from the school. You quietly told me you were lonely without your parents, and it was even worse when your grandmother died. I rubbed the bracelet around my wrist as I listened to you spill your sorrows to me before taking it off and handing it to you with a promise I'd never leave you alone. I kissed your tears away and let you fall limp with exhaustion from sobbing. I took you with me to my university because I didn't want to leave you alone. We both got a tattoo of a compass on the back of our necks to make sure that if we were ever apart, I'd find you and you would find me.
It was the middle of the night when I entered through your window with a mischievous smirk that you could easily decipher as trouble. You didn't even need to sit up from your bed to notice my lean figure looming over you with excitement. I gushed about a new aristocrat in town who could easily provide enough gold for two thieves like us forever. Responding was never your thing, so you simply smiled at me and nodded to agree with my plan. As you sat up, I could see the moonlight reflect off your pale figure and practically illuminated the compass tattoo on your neck even more. Even if I've seen you naked plenty of times before, I still couldn't help but stare at you as you put on a shirt and grabbed your bag to signal our departure. Sometimes my gaze lingered far too long on your back, trying to remember something I wasn't quite sure I knew.
Death almost came knocking on our door that night. I remember you pushing yourself in front of me as the aristocrat's guards sent an arrow flying towards me. It pierced you in the torso, almost hitting your heart. I think I felt the arrow too, even if it didn't touch me, because something pierced my heart almost instantaneously. We were only in our youth at the time, so seeing you in such pain had me screaming at you not to die. When I pulled you to the nearest doctor in panic, you remained quiet, yet your ragged breathing reassured me you wouldn't die so soon. You were on the operating table when I saw your compass tattoo covered in the blood of our enemies, almost fading along with the blood as we scrubbed it away.
"Kuroko, you better not leave my ass alone here, you hear? You need to stay alive and continue to be my accomplice and-" I couldn't stop my tears as I stared into your half-lidded blue eyes. You tried to smile at me and tell me not to worry, but blood was all I got as a response. "Please, just don't die. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, my love." I cried so much, I couldn't finish my sentence that I thought out for you. In my head, I was screaming. In reality, I was sobbing.
It took me years to get over your injury, resulting in my becoming of the pouting grouch you knew and loved. You laughed wholeheartedly every time I lectured you about doing dangerous missions behind my back because you knew I would whine for your forgiveness later on with clinging hugs and chaste kisses to your torso. You would slide your hands into my hair and string them along the ever changing paths that my silver strands create to soothe my small tantrum, making me sigh and think of what I did to ever deserve you. When I was relaxing in those quiet serene moments of those, I didn't notice your sad eyes gaze over my figure and slip a small key to attach it to my ear piercing.
As my royal advisor, I trusted you wholeheartedly and would listen to your lullaby-like voice as you softly reprimanded me for my foolish behavior. I grew up listening to your sermons as you shaped me to become the ideal prince to lead this small kingdom of ours, but never did you once tell me your expectations of who I should be. Instead, you led me in the right direction because you told me that my ideas weren't exactly the best ideas sometimes. I would scowl at your blunt words but you'd just smile politely and tease me about how easily I could set off my own temper, resulting in me huffing in defeat and listening to you anyway. I promised to you that one day, when I would be king, you'd be the first one I'd banish from the kingdom for giving me so much backtalk. You didn't mind.
I grew up exactly like I expected myself to grow up: Sarcastic and ready to throw all of my responsibilities to you in a flash. I pierced my own ears after my coronation, much to my parents' horror. You didn't reprimand my decision, which shocked me. Shocking me even more, you actually presented me with a small silver earring hoop with a key attached. Asking you what the key meant, you didn't respond. Your expression that day made me worry for the following days when you disappeared.
"Mayuzumi-sama," Your words were soft-spoken, despite my fury in not seeing you in the past few days. "I believe that whichever path you seem to choose one day, you'll make the right decision to use that key. However, if you don't realize when to open up the final door, do not worry, because I can assure you I'll always be there for you to fall back on me." My fury subsided but I was still skeptical about your words. You dropped the subject the next day, but you also seemed to drop out of existence.
Years passed and I still managed to find a poor defenseless guard to send out in search of you. They never returned, but that didn't matter to me at all. I just wanted you back. Determined to do so, I left the kingdom's command in the hands of people with hair colors that could match the rainbow who you told me to trust very dearly. They didn't question my actions, but I didn't know whether or not to question myself either. During my journey, I stumbled upon a large wall that seemed to have no entrance. I then remembered the key and placed the small item into a crack in the wall that I thought to be a keyhole. The wall fell to the ground and all that was before me was a large overflowing waterfall made of mirrored stars and clear water. Stepping closer, I could vaguely see your figure trapped in the stars and reached out to grasp what I already knew I couldn't have. Your figure faded but I did grab something in that waterfall that night. Uncurling my fist, I saw a small firefly illuminate the small shadows in my palm and float towards my face.
Ignoring you was a habit in these lifetimes, which now that I look at it, irks me to no end. It must've been hard to ignore you as you tried to convince me to stop reading before it became night, since I knew that I loved you underneath all that annoyance I felt towards your tone. You, who was merely a ghost who couldn't pass over, had found it intriguing that I could see you so clearly. I, who was merely a teenager, had found it even more intriguing that you could sense me so quickly. I wasn't very noticeable, to say the least, but as a ghost, I guess you could understand me just fine. In this library, I would read to my heart's content, not minding it one bit when you reminded me that it was getting dark out. Your voice was very loud in my head, despite the wisps of gentle concern echoing out of your mouth.
There was one particular night in which I decided to read on the roof, much to your disappointment. The fireflies around us were blue, just like what you described your hair color to be, and had me curious about how you came into this world. I had put my favorite book down just to observe your eyes glance to every firefly around us before you glanced in my direction. You must've sensed my curiosity, seeing as how you suddenly stopped floating around and sat directly across from me. You showed me a polite smile and proceeded to wait for me to ask questions.
"You know…" I started, unsure of whether or not I had the audacity to ask, really. "Can you tell me who you are at least? I've known you for a few months now and I know nothing besides the fact of you being a ghost." You laughed, obviously amused at my nervous questions. I tensed even more when you flew over to where I was and brushed a hand against my cheek. "I want to know why you've decided to stick around a nerd like me while my attention is stuck on light novels and cutesy manga."
For the first time since I've known you in that lifetime, you opened up to me in the form of fireflies. The fireflies had been guided with every one of your movements and made out images that I didn't know what to decipher as. There was a vague sketch on what looked like a canvas, a note with faint handwriting on it, rings, keys, and compasses. I opened my mouth to ask what each of these meant, but you didn't look like you had the energy to respond. You did, however, have the energy to guide the fireflies to a special spot on the roof. When I followed you and your mini army of fireflies, I found a withered away astilbe flower, much to my confusion. I didn't see your ghost anymore.
My eyesight was very poor. Many pitied me for being born this way, making me a furious and temperamental teenage girl. I often found myself alone with my seeing-eye dog when I strolled around the empty avenue early in the mornings. Or at least, I thought it was morning. Who knew that the one time I decided not to take my seeing-eye dog, I would run into you again. Your slim hands had wrapped themselves around my torso, and despite my screaming at you to let me go, you pulled me out of the way of a car speeding by. I probably didn't know it then, but once you brought me into your flower shop, I had a hint that I could've died right then and there if you didn't save me. It would've been bad if I didn't get to meet you at least once because of my carelessness.
I smelled the flowers around me and questioned you immediately on where I was. You apologized, although I sensed an amused tone underlying that polite tone of yours, and informed me of my situation. You didn't seem to care that I was blind as you told me to just be more careful and left me to do my own thing. I didn't want you to go, so I quickly grabbed your arm and asked for your name, to which you sweetly said in that loving voice of yours. I envisioned you to be a beautiful girl similar to my age, based on your soft voice alone. You would chuckle every time I asked about your appearance, saying that it didn't matter. After a while, we both referred to each other with nicknames.
"Tsuya-chan, why won't you tell me about yourself? All you talk about it flowers, and I'll be frank here, it's getting on my nerves." I huffed out in mock anger as I listened to you hum in thought. You didn't respond but I was pretty sure you had a very apparent smirk on your face. "You better not be smirking, Tsuya-chan! I'll beat you up, I swear it." Your soft laughs filled the air, making me smile in defeat at your attitude towards me.
You spent days holding my hand as you gently guided me to note the flowers in your shop. You directed me to a bouquet of astilbe flowers, one of which I was never familiar with. You mentioned that the meaning of those flowers was something along of the lines of waiting for your loved ones, which had me confused that day. I asked who you were waiting for, but you never answered me. You just continued to hum a song I hadn't known at the time and guided me gently towards other flowers. That lullaby you hummed had always had my mind reeling.
Forgiveness didn't always come easy to a devil like me. I was the king of the underworld, so many feared me for who I've become and not who I used to be. My crow's mask and disheveled black wings had even the toughest of monsters scream in fear while they ran away from me. I didn't dare imagine what your reaction would be if we met like this, because maybe, you wouldn't love me. I did so many things that I knew you would hate me for, so I tried my best to travel alone and secretly across the land. These vast plains were the only few places I haven't wreaked havoc on, much to my pleasure. It offered me a place to rest and a place to forget who I was in this lifetime. A devil, whose sins would have the mighty Lucifer cower in fear.
I heard it then; a voice I would've never thought to hear in my sanctuary. It started off slowly but eventually picked up steadily. It was a lullaby, I recognized. A lullaby that I knew only you would sing for me. As I circled the plains to find the source, your voice grew louder, sending the wisps of the lullaby to my ears even clearer. It took me what felt like hours before I found your fragile figure in the middle of a small oasis, floating along gently with the ripples of water. Your blue wings the color of the sky had swung with you as you moved gracefully.
"Open-hearted, waters uncharted," you sang. I stopped to see your eyes look directly into mine, your smile ever evident on your face. "We're back where we started," I moved my feet without registering the fact in my head. The minute I stepped into the water, it had turned black around me, leaving behind nothing but lifeless water. "And I'm starting to call you home." I'm in front of you now and your wings are vividly colored compared to the black water around us.
Your hands reach up to my face, making me almost flinch at the closeness we shared. You grazed my face with such caution, I almost forgot you were reaching up to my face in the first place. You gently took my crow's mask off and allowed my grey eyes to stare directly into your blue ones. Yours reflected life and mine reflected death, yet your eyes still stared into mine. It was like you were trying to tell me you forgave my actions. I didn't understand the gestures you made to tell me it was okay, but I still nodded politely at your acceptance. Maybe if you were around sooner, I wouldn't have committed those actions I did. I bent down to pull you into an embrace, letting you kiss my forehead before slyly slipping in blue feathers into my black wings.
I've been appointed by the king as a trustworthy knight, which was always something I never understood. Nevertheless, I always accepted the tasks at hand and set out on the missions given with my lucky feather pendant the shade of the sky. My king, a tall man with emerald hair, had told me to go kill a dragon that has terrorized the home village of his rainbow comrades. I took the task, not knowing what I was going up against, and naively stepped into a dangerous situation. The dragon's lair was easy enough to find, but the dragon itself was something I never saw so easily. When I did, however, I wished I never did.
You were my dragon, dearly loved one. Had I known back then, I would've let you eaten me. I should've known, by the way your scales glowed blue in that dark cave, and your eyes sending shivers down my spine. I raised my sword but you made no move to attack me. Instead, you took a defensive state and refused to attack. You held your head low, too low for my expectations, and let me strike you down. As the blood pooled from your neck, you stood right back up and challenged me to strike again. When you caught a glance at my feather pendent, you stopped momentarily, allowing me to knock you down even further. When you no longer got up, I gathered your scales as proof of your defeat.
"Great job, Mayuzumi. I knew well to trust in your abilities." The king praised me as his eyes skimmed over the scales I had brought him. Indifferent, I began my leave before he stopped me. "As for your reward, I will send these scales to a master weapons crafter and have something delivered to you. Keep your eyes out for something grand, my dear knight." I nodded and took my leave, not caring in the slightest about this reward of mine. If I did a good job, I did a good job. No need to thank me, I thought to myself.
Weeks later, true to his word, the king had sent me a wand made from those scales I gathered from you. I had no use for magic myself, but the thought was nice. The wand glimmered in the light as different shades of blues shined brightly. Twirling it in my hand sent a spark of guilt to my heart, even though I didn't know why I was guilty. It was perplexing to have that wand in my hand, so I sent it down the river the next opportunity I got. I watched as the blue scaled wand mixed itself into the water, almost as if it was waiting to be sent off.
We were both wizards in training, under the same master, and even had the same elemental magic. Yet somehow, you always preferred to dabble in the arts darker than mine. I always wondered why, someone with eyes brighter than the lightest of magic, chose something so morbid. I never thought to ask, only because you got a sad look in your eyes when you saw me. Master said you were trying to compensate for something, but I never believed him. You, with that wand of yours made from dragon scales, had always seemed distant from me the moment we started magic training.
I challenged you to a duel for the position of Wizard Master, which you reluctantly accepted. The duel was tough, as I was almost defeated, but I won at the very last minute. While I was being cheered on by all of our fellow apprentices, you smiled sadly and left me to bask in the praise. I tried to follow you, but you disappeared into the shadows for many years. Even when I became a teaching Wizard myself, you never seemed to surface. I tried to dabble in the dark arts myself, but I knew it wouldn't bring me any closer to you. Alas, I finally got a message from you one fateful night.
"My dear friend, you have my apologies for leaving, but the truth is, I'll never reach your level. I won't shine as brightly as you. Please forget about me." I clenched the paper tighter as I tried to pinpoint your location. "For years, I wanted to prepare myself to be someone worthy of your love, but I kept falling short. You made it look so simple, effortlessly casting magic like that. I wish I could've stood by your side, you know, as equals. That day will never come."
I couldn't locate you with my magic, no matter how hard I tried. With your message, I gained a small companion. You were trying to overwrite yourself, weren't you? This small companion glowed bright red in the night. He was a wisp, one that resembled a small child. No matter how hard I tried to remember you, the years that followed had me forgetting what you even looked like. By the time the small wisp grew into an age that would be able to learn magic, I've already forgotten your presence. Your trick had always made me wonder how it worked.
Wondering was all I did these days, now that I had a small child. Being a mother was never befitting of me, but my husband seemed to disagree. Our child was the proof of that, his red crimson hair curling at the ends to cover his pair of grey eyes. I always took him to the market down in the grand plaza to see the king's parades, but I had another motive most at the time. While my son ran around the plaza in curiosity, I went by your small market stall and caught your eyes as they looked into mine. You seemed surprised at me, but you warmed up to me and offered to show me a selection of your wares. I agreed and spent the morning holding idle chit-chat with you, not caring if your blue eyes stared at me.
I grew accustomed to visiting your stall market every day. My son took a shine to you as he called you Uncle Kuroko, much to your content. My husband and you would play shogi as the king paraded on by with his many horses and dazzling performers. It was getting repetitive the more I saw it, so I decided to visit you more often than I thought I would. You were so gentle and caring to me, I almost believed we were lovers that time. But we weren't. Your heart must've been dying on the inside, seeing me happy without you. If you were withering, you didn't show it.
"Ah, Chihiro-san, what do I owe the pleasure of your company today?" You smiled at me like usual, but then dropped it when you saw my family wasn't with me. Your eyebrows furrowed and you looked at me expectantly. "Where is Akashi-kun and Nano-kun? Are they not here today? It's very dangerous for a lovely lady like you to be wandering without company." I didn't say anything to you, which made you even more confused.
I sat down in the seat next to you as I took out crown of flowers. My son had made it for you, I said, and he wanted you to have it before he went off to train for the army. You were upset at my words, concerned expressions flashing on your face for my son. I waved it off, knowing it wasn't something to worry over just yet, and told you that he would be fine. He was my son, after all, and he had my strength. You went quiet at my reasoning and looked at the flower crown my son made you. It was made of forget-me-nots, astilbe, and cyclamen, all of which were flowers with very sentimental meanings that I didn't know of.
I knew we were different this time around. I felt it in my bones as I put on my boots and slung my hunting rifle across my shoulder. It wasn't a regular hunting rifle, oh no. It was something I had made for someone like you. I didn't know what ran through my mind at the time, but I knew I didn't expect to see you in such a position too. I wished I could've ended my life so I didn't have to see you. These roles we play are so disheartening, don't you agree? If you wanted fate to choose our roles like this, then I'd have to lecture you again on how this was extremely unfitting of you.
You were of the lost Deer Spirits race, and I was the hunter who was in charge of annihilating your kind. I knew what to expect: Deer Spirits who looked like a regular deer but only with flowers strung along their antlers. Then I met you, a Deer Spirit with the body of a gentle human, antlers as delicate as glass. You were the father of all Deer Spirits, which had me look in awe as you sat in the middle of the field openly. You knew I was there, that I sensed, but you didn't make a move to run. You held your ground as the animals around you whine in protest. The flowers that wrap around your antlers have me staring more. They were forget-me-nots, astilbe, and cyclamen.
"Forget me not, my love, for I'll still be waiting even after our goodbye." These flowers together make this message, and I knew you had known that. You wanted to tell me this message because you knew I would someday want to hear these words. You picked a few more flowers that were around you: Phlox, white hyacinth, and primrose. "Even if our souls are united, I'll pray for you, because I can't live without you." Your choice of flowers has me put my gun away, for I chose not to shoot you that day.
It was then I decided to approach you, becoming more and more drawn to you with each step I took. The animals bowed their heads to you as you took steps to meet me in the middle of the field. When we meet, my breath is hitched in my throat as I see you smile sweetly at me. I wanted to caress your face, I really did, but I was afraid you would break under my touch. I just stood there with my eyes slightly widened, waiting for something to happen. A white fox comes up to you, wanting you to pick it up, which you did. It stares at me before it rubs its face against yours, making you chuckle lightly. I decided not to bother the forest folk anymore.
I was the alpha of a pack of dark wolves. We were many shades of black, some light, some dark. I was the silver alpha, one of which was respected by all the wolves in the vast lands. I ruled the territory and never once was disrespected by my pack. They each followed my every command, simply obeying me to their full extent, no problems whatsoever. Yet somehow, they started disappearing. The ones who I've sent to find those who disappeared came back to me in fear of the one they faced. They told me of a pure white wolf who, even though wasn't very threatening, had enticed all the disappeared wolves into following his command. The white wolf, they said, was extremely beautiful and their eyes couldn't stop staring. It took all the self-control they had to return to me. I had to see this for myself.
You were an omega white wolf. From the moment I laid my eyes on you, I knew you were the mate I've been looking for since I arrived in this world. Your eyes were blue and your fur was white as snow. You were small, but you still held your ground against a large silver wolf such as myself. When I circled you to try to gain your scent, you just sat there and let me do as I pleased. Only when I stopped circling around you did you finally do something. You looked me straight in the eyes and titled your head, almost like you were asking me if I knew you.
"Kuroko Tetsuya, was it?" I didn't growl, despite my want to. Instead, my voice came out as a soft-spoken bark. "You've been alluring my pack mates to yourself lately. I cannot be an alpha if an omega keeps taking my comrades. I dare you to speak reasoning for this action."
You did dare to speak reasoning, I noted, for you sat up straighter than you were. You spoke of trying to lure me here, which you succeeded in, but couldn't bear to come to me yourself. You were trapped in this place, simply because a witch had cursed you. You cannot leave, you said, but you wanted to meet me at all costs. I applauded your bold words and called my pack to move to your territory. I noticed you withering away each passing day, which I couldn't stop. You brushed off my observations and told me to come with you to lay in the vanilla blossom fields. I complied, but only because I couldn't bear to see you wither away without me.
I kept thinking throughout these lifetimes that maybe, just maybe, this'll be the last time we'll see each other. It's only because some lifetimes, one of us doesn't exist, and the pain is too unreal. The only thing that reassures me that you're here is the faint scent of vanilla blossoms in the midst of all this blood. We were both agents, partnered because we were both the best, and always sent on the most dangerous missions possible. I was the one who leaned on you for support, both physically and emotionally. You were my rock, and I truly did appreciate that. Although you were a difficult rock, seeing as how it took a lot of effort to try to find you in the middle of difficult missions.
I silently thanked the gods for the fact you had a strong vanilla scent today. Your obsession with vanilla led me to find you handcuffing another perpetrator quickly, making me sigh in relief of your safety. You threw him to the ground like you did with the others and sent me a tired glance. I threw my arm around your shoulder and called the headquarters to let them know we were all done. I then took you to the nearest restaurant and treated you to multiple vanilla items, which you thanked me for.
"Mayuzumi-san, do you ever wonder what it would be like if we didn't do such dangerous things?" You sipped on your vanilla shake a little bit more before continuing. "What would it be like if we were normal people, perhaps? I just don't want to deal with so much blood. I'm thinking of leaving the agency soon." You avoid my surprised gaze and attach your attention onto the vanilla blossoms on the table. When you let the silence go on for a little longer, you looked back at me, but never said anything else.
When you resigned, I stayed in your small apartment to keep you company, even if you didn't really want it all too much. I moved in with you a week later because I couldn't let you go. Two weeks later, I asked you out properly, and we started dating. You started gardening to keep yourself busy as I continued to put my life at stake at work. The flowers you planted were all as beautiful as you were, which I reminded you every night I came home for you. There was one time you planted a tree in a nearby park, which had me really curious. You later told me it was a willow tree and stressed out the point that it was near a lake. Sometimes, Kuroko, you were strange in my eyes, but that's why I loved you.
The willow trees surrounded the glowing lake as I swam through the clear waters, sometimes stopping to play with the dangling vines because they entertained me. I've been too far away from the ocean lately, so I turned into a freshwater mermaid. I preferred the freshwater, though, because I was so much closer to you. You made an effort to visit me every single day, not once questioning why I wasn't in the salty water many humans thought I lived in. You sat by the shoreline, not daring to come near me, and quietly watched me perform water tricks for you with a small smile. I once invited you to join me in swimming, but you declined my offer, saying something about not being able to swim. It rained that day, but you stayed anyway.
The rain was much harsher one day, and before I knew it, I was washed away in the storm. The waterways brought me back to the ocean, a place I had long forgotten about. I couldn't be near you, I thought. I refused to speak to my fellow merfolk, even if they asked me where I have been, because I wanted to go back to that place so badly. The river was all gone now that the storm washed all the water into the ocean. There were multiple rivers now. The willow trees seemed so far away from me. Or at least, that's what I thought before I saw your figure struggling to swim towards me. You were coughing up water and I tried to reach you, but my mermaid friend told me to stay away from humans like you.
"M-Mayuzumi-san! Are you here?" Your voice struggled to leave your throat as you tried to float in the flowing waters. The ocean wasn't sure how to react to a human like you, and honestly, I didn't either. "P-Please answer me if you're here! I-If you're not h-here, I'll turn around right now, o-okay?" Your threat comes out weakly and I can only watch as you stop struggling and let yourself sink to the bottom of the ocean. A new feeling surged through me and I fought against my friend's grasp, screaming in order for you to hear me.
My friend warned me not to go after you, only because you were human, but I could feel his grasp slipping on my arm in sympathy for the small human. I swam to where I thought you were, but seeing that I couldn't find you, I dove deeper into the ocean to try to find you. I couldn't see you. You had disappeared like sea foam, and I panicked out of rage. I thrashed in the waters and dove deeper until I saw something on the ocean floor. It was you, a limp corpse by the time I scooped you up in my arms, lying so peacefully on the sandy floor. You had in your hand something I had told you about, but I didn't think I would see it. It was a conus gloriamaris shell, one of the rarest seashells I've dreamed about always in my entire life I've lived as a mermaid. I let out a cry of anguish as I refused to let you drift out of my arms.
I coughed into my hand harshly, making sure you heard me, and turned to glare at you. I couldn't believe you. How could you say that a manga as great as 'Skip Beat' is just a rip-off of 'Honey Hunt'?! You, who infuriates me with that blank tone of yours, had just made a dangerous enemy today. I saw you roll your eyes at my anger and continue to smirk with those pale thing lips of yours. I swear, even though your lungs were failing you, you still had enough air in them to quip a snarky remark about my favorite manga of all time. Even the nurses couldn't do anything about you! We were stuck as patient-buddies until one of us kicks the bucket, much to my disappointment. Don't you even start playing that stupid harmonica of yours-
Oh my god, you did not just say that. Now you're dissing 'Kimi ni Todoke' for a stupid manga like 'Suki-tte Ii Na Yo'? Who do you think you are? I can't believe I've been stuck with you since…Well, it doesn't matter, because I am one hundred percent sure you're annoying the hell out of me. I just know that when I wake up from my required nap, I will release all of my opinions onto you and try to make you see the world of manga the way I see it. Just you wait, Kuroko Tetsuya, you won't see the end of me.
"Ah, Mayuzumi-san, are you awake?" A voice rings through my head as I wake up from what seemed like a long nap. I stare at you and tilt my head. When did you get there? "I'm Kuroko Tetsuya. It's very nice to meet you." You smile at me and my heart stops. I look at the machines you're hooked up to and wear a puzzled expression on my face. "Do you happen to like manga books?" He sat up from where he was and tossed me a couple books. One of them had a funny seashell bookmark.
You told me that the one with the seashell bookmark was your favorite. On the cover was a flashy girl with an extremely large guy next to her. There were words there too, which seemed to spell out 'Skip Beat' in bright lettering. I skimmed through it and my eyes widened in anticipation to reading these books. I didn't notice the way you looked at me, but if I had to guess, your smile seemed forced. I didn't question it though, because I knew you didn't want to talk about it, seeing as how you pressed your lips into a thin line. You took out a small harmonica and made sure I wasn't watching when you started playing a sad-sounding tune.
I was passing by on the street when a sad tune filled my ears. I turned my heard to face the source but when I couldn't find it, I weaved my way through the heavy traffic to find it. Sighing, I still couldn't find the source of the tune, even though I desperately wanted to. It was a tune that gave me inspiration to write my next hit single, and I desperately wanted to ask the source for an encore. I thought to myself that I would try to find the music again when I'll pass down the avenue again tomorrow. I wasn't ready to give up on finding it, I assure you, because I had a gut feeling that this tune would make my single sky-rocket.
The next day, the avenue was less packed, and I sought out to find the source of the sad tune. I found you playing the harmonica near the lamp at the intersection, not sitting next to a jar for money, surprisingly. Some people crowded around you to listen to your melody, even opting to sit next to you and close their eyes in joy. You kept playing, despite the growing crowd, and I found myself approaching you. I clapped when you finished, making you look up at me. I asked you if I could join your melody tomorrow with my guitar.
"Well, stranger, I'd be honored if you played with me." You smiled but then dropped it when you looked at the time on your nearly-broken watch. "But to tell you the truth, I'm not sure I'll be here tomorrow." Turning your gaze to mine, you gave me an apologetic expression and started another tune. It was a happier tune, but still sad nonetheless. You stopped midway and looked at me once more. "If you were to race home and grab your guitar, I'm sure I'd still be here."
I laughed at your strange way of asking me to come back before walking away. I went into my apartment to grab my guitar like I originally planned, but my manager called me to come to the studio straight away. For the next few hours, I forgot about our meeting, until sunrise came. I swore under my breath and grabbed my guitar before speeding out to your usual spot. You weren't there, I noticed, because even your audience was upset at the sudden loss of music. I sat down instead, and started playing your tune by memory on my guitar. It didn't match, of course, but it was the closest thing I had of you. I kept playing until I found your nearly-broken watch on a sidewalk.
The bells near my door signaled someone entering my clockworks shop, but I didn't look up. It wasn't until you tapped on my counter did I finally look up at you. Your blue eyes had a blank look to them, almost as if you were upset that I was here. I raised an eyebrow at you and found that you had placed a broken watch on the surface of my counter. You asked me very politely if I could fix it, to which I huffed out an annoyed sigh and said of course I could. I turned around and told you I'll have it done later that evening, but when I didn't get a response, I swiveled around and told you again. You nodded and muttered a goodbye before leaving through the door. It was then that I realized I never got your name.
When you came back later that evening, I still wasn't done with your watch, so I told you without turning to meet your gaze. I was confused when I didn't hear the bells behind me jingle, so I turned around to see what you were doing. I saw you sitting in one of my waiting chairs, fumbling around with something I didn't recognize. I asked for you name, rather loudly I recall, but you never made an effort to look up at me. I realized, maybe a bit too late, that you couldn't have heard me if you couldn't see my lips moving. I walked over to where you were and tapped your shoulder.
"Ah, I'm sorry. I didn't hear you." I snorted at your choice of words, making your eyes widen in surprise. You seemed to have caught on that I knew you were deaf, so you took back your words. "Ah, so you know now? That makes my life a bit easier, I admit. Is my watch finished yet, Mayuzumi-san?" I told you that it wasn't finished yet, but I could finish it if you told me your name. You told me effortlessly and went back to your fumbling.
I sighed as I knew you weren't going to say anything else and continued to work on your watch right next to you, only because I wanted to be in your company. When I finished your watch, I slid it over to you, surprising you a bit before you flashed me a smile in gratitude. You gingerly slid the watch back on and reached into your lap to pull out the thing you were fumbling with. You tossed it over to me as you got up, not even bothering to tell me what it was for. I assumed it was payment for fixing you watch, as the item you gave me was a skillfully done wood carving of a time gear, something I knew from an online game my nephew played all the time. I stared at your leaving figure as you passed outside my window, not at all intimidated by my confused glance.
I had reached the final level of my favorite MMORPG when I met you again. I was a maxed out level sorcerer while you were just a few stats of strength behind me. I didn't even see you as I stepped through the gates, simply because you were someone I didn't want to see at all. A pair of rivals, I would call us, because you have bested me in everything up to this point. But no more, I guarantee you, for I have spent at least three days trying to make the perfect character who could best your assassin. When we both reached the middle of the coliseum, I immediately attacked you with the most heavily costing magic virtual money could buy. Too bad you avoided each and every one of my attacks.
I growled out in frustration as you bested me again and took the coliseum's time gear. That was the very one I needed to complete my story quest, and if I didn't get it today, it meant I had to reload the map and try again tomorrow. I turned off my computer in fury and grabbed my coat to visit my best friend's house across the street. Maybe he'll share my woes with me, I thought, because we've been best friends since he moved here. I knocked on his door and he opened it to reveal himself in all that blue glory.
"Chihiro-kun, you seem tense. Did your rival beat you again?" A smile later and I'm in the house, stomping lightly to his bedroom before flopping down onto his bed. "I'll have you know I just beat the very same story level you've been gushing over. Perhaps you want to play on my account for a while to compensate?"
I looked up and then realization struck me like a speeding bullet. I missed the smirk my best friend had on his face and loaded up his account. There you were, in your assassin garbs, standing in the middle of the map with a time gear in your inventory. My own best friend was you, the very same person who I've come to call my rival. I growled very loudly before tackling you in a massive tickling attack, one of which you didn't avoid. Your laughs filled the air, making me smile despite my broken heart. I missed your hands as they moved to sneakily tie a blue ribbon to my wrist before settling on playing with my hair. I stopped tickling you, but only because I leaned my face down to peck you quickly on the cheek.
Your hair was trickling down your face in long strands of sky blue as I reached over to grasp a few strands. I kissed your hair, making you blush a bit, before leaning in to kiss the owner of the beautiful hair. Even when we were both under the shade of the trees in our palace garden, I could see your face glow even brighter now that I was closer to you. It was a quick and chaste kiss, but I loved it nonetheless. You were a princess and I was your trustworthy lady-in-waiting, always by your side in case you needed me in the direst of situations. After our kiss, I pulled back to watch your eyes dart away in a flustered manner, trying to avoid my tender gaze. I played with the blue ribbon around my neck before you finally decided to look me in the eye and pull me gently towards the castle.
When we were inside the castle, you were determined on taking revenge for that kiss earlier, even if it meant taking me to your vast and empty room. I played along, maybe because I secretly wanted to, but the way you placed soft kisses along the nape of my neck seemed like you wanted more. We both knew that even if we did want more, we couldn't have it, simply because you had already been engaged to someone else. Did this mean you were cheating on the poor guy? Not at all. Last time I checked, he didn't care for you like I did, with his multiple concubines as proof of his unfaithful attitude. I pulled your face away from my neck and leaned in to indulge myself with another kiss. I didn't think it would be our last.
"Lady Chihiro, there's been a grave disaster." Kise, one of your most trusted guards, came to me in frightened nervousness. I didn't question why he busted into my room while I was still half-naked from our previous activity. "Her Gracefulness- She's- She's dead, milady." I let his words sink in before I shot up from where I was lying to notice you had left my side sometime in the night. I swore colorfully as I rushed hurriedly after Kise as he continued telling me of your death. "We found her a few minutes ago. Someone had- The poor mistress she-"
He couldn't finish because by the time I started caring, I saw your beautiful head meters away from your body. I went into a fit of rage and demanded what happened, not caring if tears threatened to fall from my face. You left my grasp so suddenly that night, darling. How could I have been so careless? When I stood in front of your grave, I cursed to myself and regretted not giving you the present I meant to present to you that night before you left. A simple music box I made for you, had sat on your grave as I stared at the stone engraved with your name. The music box was a simple design, one made to look like a songbird twirling freely on a branch. I wished I could've seen your face as the soft melody played through the air.
The music echoed throughout the dance studio as I watched you guide your class to perfection. I was only the older brother of one of your students, but even I was amazed at how graceful you could be, despite being a man. Each move you made was flawless, adding to the growing list of why I should actually approach you and ask you out. But alas, my sister wanted to do that first, so I became the nice brother and let her have her chance. She still hasn't asked you out, has she? I was beginning to lose my patience as I saw you take off your shirt momentarily to put on another one, showing off your lean muscles and toned figure. Hell, even the girls in your class was swooning at the sight.
The class ended, which was signaled by a soft melody being played by the music player. You had wished everyone a good day and went to turn off the music. I caught a glimpse of your songbird phone charm before my sister rudely blocked my view. She ordered at me to not lay a hand on you, which I wasn't sure I could obey, and then proceeded to rummage through her bag so she could get her spare change of clothing. I was still staring at you when you turned around to meet my gaze, making me flush and look away. You smiled, even though I didn't see it, and walked over to tell me how delightful my sister was in the class. Our casual conversation turned into a flirtatious matter, and I was laying all of my slick pick-up lines on you, making you chuckle at my silly attempts.
"Chihiro-kun, is it? You're quite different from your sister, I can assure you. She always makes it apparent to me that you're quite different." Your eyes flickered around the room to make sure only I could hear you. You leaned closer to my face, obviously enjoying the fact that I was melting under your gaze. "Such a pretty thing, you are." You cooed and caressed my face, making me flush even more. Your smile was sincere and you pulled away slowly. "I look forward to seeing you more often, no?"
I agreed and made an extra effort to see your dance performances every single time you invited me, creating a relationship with you slowly but surely. It was love, I thought, because only you could make my heart thump. My sister gave up on pursuing you, although I'm sure she still pouts at our wedding photos whenever she sees them, and allowed me to go after you to my heart's content. And I did just that. Now with that ring on your finger, I can safely assume you would always be with me, and I would be with you. On to our next life, you said. I didn't respond.
I was in a white place, one of which I didn't recognize. They were several items around me, reminding me of all the lives I shared with you, even if one of us didn't exist. I allowed my eyes to skim over them until I regained all my memories of meeting you, over and over again. There were times where our genders were switched, or times where gender didn't matter because in the end, I had killed you. I grimaced at those memories because I couldn't have imagined I killed you more than once. It was upsetting, how you always chose to love me in the end, despite what I've done to you. Why is that?
My question was answered when you lifted one of the white walls to reveal your face, smiling as always. You crawled into the white room with me and embraced me, letting me cry into your shoulder as you told me over and over that you loved me. You were glad, you said, because you finally got to see me again. I didn't question why you chose not to look at the objects laid around us, but instead, I embraced you tighter and told you I was sorry for not remembering.
"Chihiro-kun, my love, don't fret." You chuckled as I sobbed harder into your shoulder. Everything came back too fast for me to even breathe normally. My heart beat quickened its pace as you continued to soothe me. "It was my fault, not allowing you to remember like that. I'm sorry for leaving you." You kissed me once for your mistake. Twice for your failure to complete your objective. "I believe that if I chased you throughout these lifetimes, however, I could remember how much I loved you each time. Please forgive me, for I didn't want you to remember all the bad times I did. I'll be waiting for you, no matter how many lifetimes it takes, before you remember my face. If not, I'll just teach you what we shared during the other lifetimes."
You kissed me over and over again, one for every lifetime. Your kisses faded into gentle grazes along my face, trying to stop my tears from flowing, because you always cared for me like that, didn't you? I didn't want this lifetime to end, though. I had finally remembered your face, your voice, your eyes, and yet I knew I'd forget it anyway. How long have you faced this pain of me not even glancing at you in recognition? There must've been more lifetimes I missed too, because your gestures become laced with sadness as you continued to soothe my cries. My heart had skipped into the rhythm of yours and we both laid there in that white room, catching up for all those times we missed.
Because darling, you promised me you would chase me every lifetime we shared in order to show me just how important I was to you.