A/N: Hi, hi, hellooooo! Ok. I need to settle down a bit. But! It has been a while since I wrote anything for Fullmetal Alchemist…Like…Two and a half weeks. So, you may be asking yourself, "Lumi, why now?" Well, kind reader, because today is a day worth celebrating. And I like to celebrate these kinds of things with one shots. Today is a certain Fuhrer's (going off my current canon) birthday. And that's going to hold some weight in Central. We'll see some of the OCs of Halfmetal Heart make some appearances. At least some mentions anyway. And some of the others aren't going to let him celebrate on his own. So! I'm going to shut up and let you read. Happy birthday, Roy Mustang. Even at 131, you're still hotter than hell.

"Good morning, sir," a voice whispered seductively, "It's time for you to get up and broadcast your address."

"And if I don't want to…?" There was no doubt. When it came to mornings, Maes definitely took after his father.

"Well," the voice started peppering him with kisses between his face and his shoulders, "That's just too bad. You have to go and do it anyway."

"Hello there," Roy wrapped his arms around his beautiful wife, "If I didn't know any better, I'd think it was some kind of a holiday or something. What's gotten into you?"

"You know damn well what today is," Riza groaned, slightly annoyed with her husband, adding light bites to her kisses.

"I sure do," he beamed, reciprocating her sentiments.

"Happy birthday, sweetheart," she nestled her face in his chest.

"Do we really have to get up?" Roy whined, holding the love of his life a little tighter.

"Put it this way," Riza bargained, "If you get up now, I'll have a special surprise waiting for you in your office later today."

"You know," he stole a kiss from her, "Not many things can get me out of bed in the morning."

"I'm well aware of that," she assured, taking the blankets from the bed, walking around their bedroom like the queen she is, "But trust me, Roy. You'll want to get out of bed for this. I promise you."

Mustang couldn't say no. Not to her. Little did he know, Riza had a very special something up her sleeve. And it had him on high alert all day. It wasn't like her to plan surprises. They never kept secrets from each other. But today, she seemed different. Very different…

But the Fuhrer couldn't think about that right now. Right now, he had a job to do. He has a country to run, regardless of what day it is. Even though it was the one day a year where his slightly narcissistic personality was fueled instead of shamed. Every other day, Hawkeye would've knocked him senseless for some of his usual shenanigans. All while questioning why she married him in the first place. But deep down, she knew exactly why.

"Good morning, sir!" Havoc chimed upon his arrival, "Happy birthday!"

"Thanks, Havoc," Roy brushed him off, "You wouldn't happen to know what the Brigadier General has planned for today, would you?"

"How should I know?" he shrugged.

"I thought as much," Roy went into his office. Odd. No coffee on his desk. No breakfast. Not even his bagel. Must not be Riza's surprise.

And he went about his duties. Nothing. Everything was perfectly calm and quiet. All day. Too quiet. The serenity around Central Headquarters made Mustang skeptical and a bit uneasy. When she's left to her devices, Riza could get creative. So, he had no other choice. In the back of his mind, the Fuhrer hatched the most genius plan…Well…Genius to him anyway. First, he needed to make a phone call.

"Yeah?" a voice grumbled on the other end. If Mustang didn't know any better, he'd think he was just waking up. And the fact that it was going on eleven o'clock, he wasn't surprised.

"Hey, Maes," Roy greeted, "I need you and Tricia to go on a very special, very covert operation."

"You have a mission for us?" Maes got all giddy.

"Settle down," he ordered, "How fast can you get to HQ?"

"I don't know," Maes thought it over, "Hey, Halfmetal! How long do you think it would take for us to get to Central Headquarters?"

"From the inn?" Tricia thought out loud, "Probably twenty minutes, if we really book it."

"I'll give you fifteen," Mustang demanded, "Tell no one."

"Yes, sir."

Click.

The Fuhrer didn't mind surprises, but he couldn't help but snoop a little. And who better to send than the two best State Alchemists that could go completely undetected? Roy sat and stewed in his thoughts about what the Brigadier General had in mind for later. She didn't really give much for hints. Just that it was worth getting out of bed for.

"Knock, knock!" a sweet voice sang from the door, "Happy birthday, Uncle Roy!"

"Thank you, Tricia," he ushered the two of them in, "Were you seen?"

"We saw Kain on the way in," Maes shrugged, "I don't think he'll say anything. And we haven't really seen anyone outside of you and Mom since we got to Central yesterday."

"No," Mustang assured, "Fuery's pretty absent minded. Now, you two need to be especially secretive about all of this."

"What is it?" Tricia was always up for a mission. She liked being in the library, but if her beloved Uncle Roy was going to send her on a mission with his son, who she loved more than anything in the world, so be it.

"I need you to find out what the Brigadier General has planned for the day," he briefed them, "I want her full itinerary. From this very second until we go home. If I know Riza as well as I think, she's got everything planned right down to the very minute. I need to know what each minute holds."

"So…" Maes gave his father a look, "You want us to stalk Mom for the day?"

"If you want to be that blunt about it."

"No," Tricia rolled her eyes, "We're not following Aunt Riza for the day."

"Yes, you are," Mustang put his Fuhrer hat on, "You can't refuse orders from me, Tricia. That's what being a State Alchemist is."

"At the same time," she countered, "Aunt Riza, my commanding officer, also told me that I had her permission to decline trivial orders from you."

"But Dad," Maes cut her off, "Why do you want us to follow Mom? Why don't you just ask her yourself?"

"Because I know for a fact she won't tell me," he pouted slightly in his chair, "That's why I want you to do it."

"This wouldn't be about whatever her surprise is for you, would it?" Tricia could see right through him.

"No…" Roy lied, getting all flustered. He didn't expect her to call him out.

"You are," Tricia knew better, "Let it be whatever it's going to be, Uncle Roy. Whatever Aunt Riza has planned, I'm sure you'll enjoy it. She usually does have you in mind when she does this sort of thing."

"Damn," he grumbled, "Can't fault me for trying."

"You get a silver star," she teased, "Just let it be."

"Or I'll just find someone else to do it," Roy figured. He gave it a thought for a minute or two. Who else could Mustang dupe into sneaking around Riza's office? Havoc and discretion don't necessarily go hand in hand. Breda and Falman had gone east with Elicia to make sure her trip to Ishval went smoothly. Kain couldn't keep a secret to save his life. So, the only ones that could do it had just shot it down.

He didn't want to, but Roy had officially caved. He was going to let it be the surprise Riza wanted it to be. And if it was going to put a smile on her face as well as his own, he couldn't be too upset about it. There was nothing he loved seeing more than his cherished wife and partner in crime happy. After all they've been through, she deserved it.

Unfortunately, a pressing matter had called him out of the office. Some minor break in at the treasury with a couple of punk kids who looked like they didn't know where their next meal was coming from. Like the kind, just, and sympathetic soul Roy Mustang is, he had scolded the children and got them some hot food in their stomachs, along with a room above Madame Christmas's bar. He knew exactly the kind of hell they were going through. And if anyone could set them straight, it was her.

The sun began to set and the day was coming to a close. Roy had yet to see what his wife had up her sleeve. Maybe it would be waiting for him once he got home. All he was missing was his jacket. Strange…He could've sworn he had hung it up on the hook when he had walked into Headquarters this morning. Maybe someone took it by mistake? Maybe he had hung it on the hook in his office. When Roy pushed his door open, he found exactly what he was looking for.

"Hello, sir," Riza sat on his desk with a dirty smirk on her face.

"Um…" Roy turned a bright shade of red, "Riza…"

"Yes?" she played with a stray lock of her hair.

"That's…" he stuttered, "That's my desk…"

"It is…"

"A-and…" he went on, "That's…That's my…My jacket…"

"Mmmhmmm…" she moaned a bit, undoing some of the buttons, revealing what she was wearing underneath…or wasn't…

"Riza…" Roy's heart started racing, "What are you doing…?"

"You can't tell me you've never given this a thought," Riza teased him, pulling him down to his desk, "Taking me on your couch in your office…On your desk…On this floor…In our nineteen years of marriage and God only knows how many of you taking notice of me, you can't tell me this hasn't been a fantasy lingering in the back of your mind."

Roy knew. He knew he's thought of it a time or two…million…But he couldn't let her know that. Pull yourself together, Mustang. You can do this. She's just your wife…mother of your child…Brigadier General in your military…Best friend in the whole world…Beautiful creature that this world doesn't deserve.

And in his internal monologue, he didn't even realize his shirt was already unbuttoned, "I'll take your stunned silence as a yes."

"No," he snapped out of it, "That's not it. It's just…"

"What?" Riza whispered breathily, "Is something off, sir? Because according to you, something is very, very on…"

"Screw it," Roy threw his shirt aside, along with his pants, and let his wife attack him in all the ways she knew he loved. The little things she knew drove him absolutely crazy. From that one little spot right under his left ear to the spot behind his knees to the little spots on his wrists. He was ready to fight back. Hawkeye had many things right. Roy had been thinking of this moment for quite some time. Ever since he had started learning alchemy. He had to learn from a tattoo on her back. The same one he had to burn off all those years ago in Ishval.

Roy flipped Riza over and pinned her down on his desk, holding her hands in the middle of her back. This was it. This was his shot for vengeance. He traced his fingers over the remains of her tattoo and the burn scars, kissing between her shoulder blades, "Did you really think that after all these years, you wouldn't be my subordinate, Lieutenant?"

"Not at all, sir," she submitted gladly.

A/N: Well. Happy birthday, Mustang. You got your wish. You got office sex with your wife. You got to do something that makes you feel good about yourself. Your patience was definitely rewarded. And I kind of had this rolling around in my noggin for a while. It feels good to finally get it out. See you later, guys! xx