He'd been gone for a month now, and I hadn't received a scrap of news from that bastard! So unfortunately, I decided to write him.

Dear Antonio,

How are you? I figured either things were going very well, or really bad for you to forget all about me like that. But whatever bastard, it's not like I miss you or anything. Just hurry the fuck up and get home.

Fuck you, Lovino.

I was in the mail room now; its run by one of Antonio's friends named Gilbert who runs it with his little bird Gilbird. The albino smiled at me, "Hey there Lovino, something for Antonio?"

"Yes bastard." I handed him the letter, which he handed to Gilbird. The yellow bird flew off to deliver it. Gilbert smiled, "Want to get a drink?"

"Sure." The good thing about Gilbert is he's not pushy or as annoying. Plus he's always good for alcohol and a laugh.

He smiled as we walked to the bar, "So how's everything at the manor?"

"Fine, collecting dust like normal."

He laughed his peculiar laugh, "Nice, I'm sure Toni will love that."

"It's not like I care."

He rolled his red eyes, "Yeah right." He handed me a beer, "So, did you hear that an English pirate ship has been terrorizing the countryside?"

I choked on my beer, "What?"

"Yeah, they were last seen not 20 miles from here." He sounded so calm.

"But what if they come here?"

"They seem to be looking for something; they haven't burned anything, or even stolen. Apparently the captain has some kind of gentleman complex."

"Weird."

The door to the bar opened sending in a cold draft. A man in a long blue coat with blond hair and green eyes stood there, "Hello, I'm looking for Antonio Carriedo. Could someone please point my crew and I in the right direction?" His English accent was smooth.

I glared at the well dressed pirate, "If you're looking for that bastardo then you'll have to go back to sea."

The man looked amused, "So he's back at sea, do you happen to know his residence little Italian?"

I glared at him, "Why do you want to know?"

He smirked and held a pistol to my head, "If you really want to know, it's so I can burn his home to the ground."

"Then why the hell do you think we'd tell you?"

He put the cold metal against my head, "So you won't die."

"It's alright, shoot me. I'd be worse off if I told you."

"Oh really, why's that?" I didn't answer so he clicked the pistol.

Gilbert sighed, "Because this idiot lives with him."

The captain chuckled, "Thank you, I needed something that would really get at him and you've just given me the solution." He snapped his fingers, "Boys, grab the Italian and take him to our ship. Get him in proper clothes and then set him to work."

Two of the bastard's men grabbed me; I kicked and struggled, "Gilbert! Help me out you fucking bastard!"

He looked at me with a defeated look, "I wish I could."

Then there was a sharp crack, the world went black, and my body went slack in the arms of these damned pirates.

I woke up lying on the deck of a huge ship. A man with shoulder length blond hair and blue eyes was looking down at me, "Look at you mon ami! You're so cute!"

I glared at the man, "FUCK YOU!" My head still hurt though and yelling like that only aggravated my headache. The other blond, the captain stood above me.

"If you're going on my ship then I suggest you watch your tongue."

"Fine then, I'll jump off!"

He laughed, "Good luck." I got up and looked over the edge, water…everywhere. Not even a speck of land on the horizon.

I back up, "Where are we?"

"About to the southern part of Africa. You've been out for about three days." He looked apologetic, "Sorry about that, there wasn't supposed to be that much force."

I rubbed the back of my aching head, "Well I'm not dead, so I guess it wasn't so bad."

The French guy latched onto me, "Look at you, putting on a brave face even though you're probably scared to death!"

"Francis, control yourself."

He pouted, "Yes captain."

I sighed, muttering, "cazzo pirati." I turned to the captain, "So, what the hell am I doing here?"

The captain smiled, "We need someone who's close to Antonio, I want to make that damn imbecile suffer, and you are the perfect bait."

"He doesn't really care. I hope you know that."

"I wouldn't be so sure Lovino. Everyone else in your home town seems to believe that he cares very deeply about you."

The captain did his research. I clenched my fist as he continued to speak, "But, even though I've taken you against your will you will work for me. Do you understand?" His murderous gaze frightened me, so I nodded.

He smiled, "Good, oh and by the way, we burned your other clothes."

I looked down and for the first time noticed I was wearing something different. I was in black pants, brown boots, and a puffy white t-shirt. I now looked like a fucking pirate.

I turned to the captain, "Can I write him? So he won't freak out."

"There's no need. We're meeting tonight to set down territory." He looked Francis, "Take him to his quarters and lock him in there."

I was dragged to a room with a bed, and a couple books. I was pushed inside, and then there was a click. I was trapped on the pirate ship of Antonio's worst enemy; Captain Arthur Kirkland.

Cazzo Pirati: Fucking Pirates

There will be Spamano later, just be patient.