Another EmbryxBella oneshot. Review.
I don't own ish
I have many insecurities. My appearance is one of the biggest right next to my body. I didn't have a body of a normal girl. I had no curves. If I had abs my chest would look like a man's chest. I am plain. Nothing special. Just average. None of these things are attractive and yet I have a wonderful man who loves me. Who would die for me. He healed me from my deep depression. He has never hurt me and always loved me unconditionally. I don't know why though. I am plain like I stated earlier and it should only be right that I get a plain guy, but that is not the case. The guy I am with is beyond sexy.
Embry is his name. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I am thankful everyday that god sent me this miracle. I wait in fear that god kill take it away. I don't feel like I deserve him. What do I provide for him that he provides for me. I am not overly sexy like he is. I am the farthest thing from that as a matter of a fact. I am clumsy where as he is not. I must seem like a nuisance to him. He has never said I was a nuisance, but I have to be since I am always falling down and have no grace about myself.
As I lay on our couch laying down against his chest while he is holding this is all I can think about. I know it will only be a matter of time before he asks me what is wrong. He can read me like a book. I have been life this a lot lately and I know I have to tell him the truth instead of lying and saying nothing is wrong. I can feel my eyes welling up with tears as these thoughts go through my brain. I am having constant doubts. Not about my love for him I know that is true. I have doubts about what if he leaves me because someone else comes along who can walk a mile without tripping. Someone who is more attractive and not as average. Someone who can match his sexiness.
I know if he does leave me I won't be the same as I was when Edward left. I would be much worse. I don't know if I would go on living. When Edward left I was a zombie. If Embry leaves I might just stop living entirely. It sounds selfish for me to keep him since he deserves someone much better than me, but I can't fathom a day without him in my life.
I also know that I am his imprint, but is that the only thing that is keeping him with me. Sometimes I hear my mind telling me that he is faking it and he doesn't really love me. When I hear that voice I believe everything it says.
I don't have to blink the tears start falling rapidly and onto Embry's shirt. He is definitely going to question me about why I am crying and isn't going to stop until I give him an answer that he thinks is feasible. Can I convince him that nothing is wrong? No. I know I can't I am just fooling myself. It is inevitable that I tell him the truth about what I am really feeling.
He starts to notice tears falling onto his shirt right after it seeps through and looks at the ceiling to see if there was a leak. There was no leak. He looks at me and turns me around so he is looking at my face.
"What's wrong, babe?" He asks sincerity filling his words.
"Nothing" I lie.
"I know something is wrong and I want you to tell me. You have been like this for a while. You can tell me anything. I will understand" He tries to reassure me, but I am not reassured.
I think about it. I have to tell him I have thought about it for way too long. I sigh and start with the question I have been wondering all along.
"Why do you love me?" I asked.
It took all I had in me not to burst out in tears and start sobbing.
"What" He gasps.
"Why do you love me. I'm not pretty. I'm clumsy. Is the only reason-" He cut me off before I got to finish.
"Don't you dare think like that. I loved you before I turned into a werewolf and before I could even imprint. The moment I gazed into your eyes I knew you were the one for me" He said tears filling his eyes.
He had never told me this before.
"You are right you are not pretty. You are beautiful. The most beautiful woman I have ever saw in my life. I don't deserve you" Embry cried.
A single tear fell down his cheek.
"You deserve better than me." I replied.
"Can't you see there is no better than you. You are all that I want. I can't be without you. I would be a wreck. You complete me" He shook with sadness.
I was in shock. I couldn't believe he was saying all of this. He told me I was beautiful before, but I thought he just said it to make me feel good.
I could tell his sincerity was sincere by the look on his face. Tears were flowing rapidly down his cheek now. Endless streams it seemed like. We were staring into each others eyes. I was once told that you can see someone's soul by looking into their eyes deep enough. I didn't have to look deep to see Embry's soul I could see it. It was innocent, but not in the same breath. It pained me to see him cry. Pained me to my soul. I almost missed his next words. Almost being the key words. I still heard them.
"You may not be able to see you're inner as well as outer beauty, but I sure can. I don't plan on leaving any time soon or later. I will stay as long as you will have me. Even if you don't want me I will love you, forever even if you don't love me."
I threw my arms around him after I heard him say this. I couldn't hold in my sobs anymore and let it all out. Embry lifted my chin til I was looking into his eyes again. He started to caress my cheek while leaning in until both of our lips touched in a soft and tender kiss.
We kissed until we were both breathless.
After he caught his breath he said something that finally reassured me.
"Don't question why I love. I just do"
Although, it didn't make me any less insecure in the looks department I was less insecure about him loving me. I knew he loved me for some reason and I learned to accept it.