Disclaimer: I do Not own Naruto (unfortunately), neither do I make any sort of profit on this.
No, I only write for the pleasure of others and myself (:

Warning: Cutting, mild cussing.

Other information:

"Speech" , 'Thoughts' , "'Naruto talking to Kyuubi'" , "Kyuubi"

AN: Please keep in mind that English is not my first language so there will definitely be spelling mistakes, just not too many, hopefully!

CHAPTER ONE - The Hospital

It felt like I hadn't had enough of sleep as I woke up groaning. I couldn't remember ever falling asleep but I felt good; the sheets warm and cozy. I didn't want to wake up yet and the voice in the back of my mind wasn't exactly helping, as it was telling me to stay in the black abyss. I should stay asleep, I know, but being the impatient person I am, I couldn't help but prying my eyes open.

Not knowing about the blending white light resting over me, I fluttered my eyes open but regretted it as it blinded me, forcing them back closed. Colorful spots in different shapes now dancing on the back of my eyelids.

'Where the hell am I?'

I felt a dull ache come from the back of my head and my body felt tired. Had I been in a fight? I couldn't remember ever being in one. Feeling the need to know of my surroundings, I opened my eyes for a second time, however squinted until I had adjusted to the light before opening them completely.

Taking in my surroundings all I noted was that everything was white; white walls, white ceiling, white bed, even the curtains were white! As I found little information of my whereabouts in the room I looked down on myself, to see if maybe I had any clues on me. Maybe a rope to tie my hands with if it was a kidnapping? But no such luck, however each arm was wrapped in bandage.

I stared at them, confused, not knowing why they were bandaged. Something had happened but why couldn't I remember what?

I took another look around the room, thinking I might have overlooked a clue, but as I finished the thought it hit me. A white room, bandaged arms and a soft bed. It all added up to one thing; the hospital. I was at the hospital and judging by my predicament, I was a patient. Though.. Why was I a patient? I had just finished my train of thought when it all came back to me in a rush, memories flashing before my eyes.

(end of Naruto pov)

-Flash back-

Team 7 had just arrived back from a two days long mission. Feeling tired, Naruto had quickly left the group with a blending smile and his usual enthusiastic byes. Once out of sight of his team, Naruto had quickly let his smile fall and instead be replaced by a tired expression. The mission had been rather uneventful but it had given him some time away from the village, so Naruto wasn't really complaining.

Walking along the side of an empty training ground, Naruto kicked at the gravel path under his feet, thinking of what to have for supper. He decieded to eat his favorite, ramen, and looked up with a smile, only to have it fall back down into a grim line as he noticed he had reached that road. He clenched his fists and took a deep breath. The road which would lead him to his house was also the one leading through the center of the village. And that street was always full of people from early morning to late at night, because there laid the Konoha market.

Knowing he had to go home, Naruto took another deep breath and with rigid steps walked towards the people he feared the most, the ones who saw him as nothing more than a demon; the villagers.

Staring down at the ground to avoid eye contact, he tried to be invisible. If he didn't give them anything to harass him about, then hopefully they wouldn't say anything. Unfortunately he had no such luck, as usual. As fast as someone took sight of him everyone noticed him. He could feel the glares burning into his back, hear them whispering amongst each other, some were even honest with their hatred and yelled it to his face.

"Demon."

"Monster."

"Demon children like you don't deserve to live!"

"Murderer."

Naruto felt his eyes start to sting as he quickened his speed. He refused to cry in front of the villagers and give them the satisfaction of seeing him actually hurt by their words. If they thought that he didn't care, maybe they would stop. After all if there was no reaction, where was the fun in it?

As he caught sight of his house, he quickly pulled out the key from his pocket and quickly unlocked the door before rushing in and slamming the door behind him. He took off his backpack along with his jacket and threw them in a pile on the floor, then he slid down along the door; too tired to stay up on his feet. The tears that had threatened to fall moments before started to flow down his cheeks as he didn't have the strength to resist them any longer. He let them fall. Maybe that would make it all better?

However, facing the bitter reality, it didn't help much. After minutes of crying the tears eventually started to dry out and Naruto still felt like shit.

He glanced down at his exposed right arm. There were five 2-3 inch long cuts, not very deep but enough to have bled. He traced the scars - that Kyuubi refused to heal - with a twisted smile lingering on his lips. It had felt so good, the distress he felt in his heart had been replaced by something he could control and he had felt free. Free from his past, free from the hate and the guilt. Everything had been wonderful and calming.

He bit his lip as he pulled out a shuriken from its cover. Speculating about it, he knew it was wrong, but the beautiful shining metal promised him calm. It was as if it spoke to him, telling him to use it. Letting the voice win over his rational side, he placed one of the tips on his right arm and cut deep right across one of the old scars. Immediately a wound opened up and a crimson red fluid oozed out. A dry sob escaped him as blue eyes watched the fluid pour along his arm. It felt good. The wound had kept its promise however the feeling only lasted for a few seconds, then it started to heal.

Glaring at his arm, Naruto cursed. "Stupid fox!"

He cut once more over the now almost completely closed wound, making it reopen and more blood to seep out. "Try to heal this baka no Kitsune." Cutting another thin line next side to the other, he felt the tension between his shoulders leaving him. The pain from the shuriken was blocking out any unwanted emotions and thoughts as it helped him to focus on something else. Feeling the need for more pain, he drew it across his wrist again. One time turned into a second time, and a second time turned into a third time, and so it continued until he was sitting in his own pool of blood. A crimson red color stained his clothes, hands and the floor beneath him. Emitting a bitter laugh he smiled in satisfaction from seeing his work of art. It was beautiful, and it was his sinful pleasure.

-End of Flash Back-

Naruto absently stroke his right hand over his left arm. He had cut himself and now he was in the hospital. He started to tug on the bandage and as it came off, gasped at what he saw. His arm was covered by nasty red - deep - scars. 'Did I do that?' Naruto bit his bottom lip, feeling a bit anxious.

'Oi Kyuubi! Why didn't you heal the scars?'

Waiting a few seconds, Naruto felt the Kyuubi's spirit awakening. "You dare wake me up with such a stupid question, brat?!" It growled angrily, banging its tails against the cage around him.

'Shut up, just tell me.' Hearing another growl come from the demon inside him, Naruto added a quick please. Really, Kyuubi was way too moody.

"I'm not your personal healer. It was your own damn fault, YOU were the one who made them, idiot. You're only a host and I'll heal them to the extent that they aren't fatal for me. You caused it, now you will be the one bearing the shame! Maybe that will teach you not to nearly kill us again! You want revenge? Let me out of here and I'll take care of them. I'll make them regret what they did to you."

Ignoring the fox's rant about revenge and whatever, a sudden realization hit him, and it caused his whole body to freeze up. 'Kyuu.' He let out a quiet whimper.

As he was in a hospital, that meant someone had found him and for someone to have found him, someone had seen him and if someone had seen him... Someone knew of what he had done to himself. Feeling his breath become heavier and his heart beating faster, Naruto did not know whether to laugh or cry. Of course something like this would happen, it always happened to him.

Noticing his host's adrenaline rising, Kyuubi stopped his rant. "Would you relax stupid brat?! So what if someone found you, Kami knows you need the help. That way I won't have to listen to you whine all the time. Breathe."

Naruto emitted a bitter laugh. 'Nothing to get worked up for?! Damn Kyuubi, what will people think of me now? Or rather my friends! They'll hate me for sure. They'll hate me and I don't think I could bear that. The town's people I can take, but my friends?' Tears were threatening to fall but he tried to listen to the fox and calm down as much as he could. 'Breath in, breath out' He thought.

"You humans are pitiful creatures. Who cares for friends. You should stop caring about others all the time. All this guilt you keep inside is killing me. Act selfish sometimes, you might like it." It was difficult to know whether the demon was simply annoyed or actually cared for him. He had known the fox for years, yet he still could not make out where his alliances was.

Wiping away unshed tears with his hand, he let out a small moan of pain as he moved his arm. 'You are wrong, Kyuubi, I do need them. I can't go back to where I was before I met them. Even though they might not think much of me, I love them. I need to love them. I have to know I can love...'

Kyuubi found himself speechless, not knowing what to say. He didn't understand human needs, if the blond wanted approval, couldn't he just force it? "Then let me out. I'll show them true strength. They will never turn their backs on you again." Kyuubi chuckled.

'Shut up.' Naruto sighed as he remembered his best friend. 'I know Sasuke will hate me.' He continued moping, ignoring the demon's sneer. 'He despites weakness, and that was exactly what I showed; weakness. He will hate me for sure and never want to speak to me again.' The thought should have been disturbing, Naruto mused, that all he could think of was Sasuke. What about the others? But for some strange reason, Sasuke was what made his heart ache and the thought of losing him as a friend was what scared him the most.

Kyuubi listened intently to the other's thoughts and almost laughed at the mention of the Uchiha. "Naruto you are such an idiot at times. That brat loves you. He just lack the balls to admit it. It's so obvious it makes me sick to my stomach. A thing like this, won't change that."

Not feeling like arguing with the fox, Naruto simply shrugged. 'Yeah, sure. He loves me. That was a funny one Kyuubi.' Deciding he wanted to be alone, Naruto tuned out the annoyed voice of the fox and instead focused back on his wounded arm.

Too caught up with his thoughts, he never noticed a man entering the room. "You shouldn't touch those, they haven't healed yet."

Tbc.

A/N: So.. Yeah that was the first chapter of CaR. Please, tell me what you thought of it in a review and I'll be sure to update as fast as I can.

I know that I'm not that good (nowhere near that actually) but this is one of my first fanfics, so please keep the flames at bay and don't boil me in a big cauldron because I suck? (Which I don't really do, I just want it to seem like I have humility. hohohohohoo!)

See you next time, Bai!