Author's Note: So, this is my first time ever writing for How I Met Your Mother, but I really wanted to write something about the Barney/Robin engagement in "The Final Page," and this idea came to me. It's inspired by the feelings I expect anyone experiences just before a "big" moment in a relationship, and the fact that Barney and Robin's reunion was a foregone conclusion to the audience, since we know Robin is in fact Barney's bride. I hope you enjoy this oneshot, and please leave a review to express your thoughts! Enjoy!:) – JadedAttitude143
It was a rather strange sensation, whatever it was that had made its way through Robin's life during the past week. Beginning after the failed attempt at revealing the Playbook to Patrice, and culminating in the limo with Ted, the oddity of nerves, anticipation, excitement, terror, hope, and disbelief mingling in Robin's stomach had rendered her nearly exhausted. Though she had had her fair share of romantic escapades during her life, Robin had only felt so one other time: the week leading up to her and Barney's convoluted but romantic confessions to one another, and the immediately following kiss.
There had been a sudden shift in the dynamic she and Barney shared; just before the day she overheard Barney's admission. It was inexplicable, implacable, and improbable. Originally, her knowledge of Barney's feeling had been but the slightest suspicion, fueled by long nights when he smiled and laughed with especial focus on her, and denied the mornings after when Barney hooked up with his typical bimbo. The day before Barney told Ted, however, there was a bright, energetic glance between the pair in which a multitude of emotions and secrets were exchanged without ever admitting a single thing. It was the unusual situation in which everyone knows everything, yet no one will acknowledge or accept the circumstances. For Robin, having never experienced such a joy hidden in such a burden, the ensuing days brought ceaseless jumpiness, excitement, and impatience. As reluctant as she was to hope for Barney's inevitable declaration to her, hope blossomed in a way entirely beyond her control.
Those fateful days, nearly four years ago, were a strange limbo for the two. What they did not understand then, though, was that they were fortunate to suffer through only a few days of the myriads of emotions brought about by such a foregone conclusion. Two days after Robin heard Barney ask for Ted's permission to try on a "Canadian suit," they confessed, kissed, and fell in love. The emotions both lessened and increased, as they entered into the unique journey of a romantic relationship.
This same nerve-wracking pile of emotions was yet again addling Robin's mental state, her ability to look at Barney, her patience with everyone, especially Patrice, and her control over her hands, which seemed constantly to tremble. Barney had been distant and quiet these past few days around her, and not just because of the jinx. His smiles stretched across his face slowly and thoughtfully, as if he savored the sensation of happiness, as opposed to the instantaneous laughter of years' past. On multiple occasions that week, Barney had been pensive and imperturbable to the outside world, stirring his Scotch as overwhelmingly attractive women flirted with him, sought desperately for one night stands after harsh breakups, and in one extreme occasion, tipsily spilt beer all down her own white V-neck. Robin thought his gaze rested on her too frequently for it to be coincidental, more often than not accompanied by a small sigh.
She had finally been deemed "fit to be around Barney" by her caring but boundary-less friends, and she was half-heartedly taking the steps towards "getting over Barney "and "finding someone mildly attractive to bang." So while her mind registered, processed, and analyzed Barney's bizarre actions, Robin forced the hope that swelled in her chest down to the darkest and most forgotten place of her heart, so that disappointment would not taint her and Barney's relationship yet again. As Lily had repeated thousands of times, Barney was with Patrice now, and she needed to accept that or else suffer the misery of unrequited love.
Robin was truly making strides to heal; otherwise, she would not have fallen so quickly into this snared trap. For as she made her resolutions and ignored the subtle advances of Barney towards a proposal, she starved her heart of love. Therefore, when the inevitable moment of weakness came, as it always does in these situations, it was not a slight blow, a mere reminisce and nothing more, but the full-blown, horrible realization that she did not merely lust after Barney, nor did she want a casual, possibly meaningful relationship with Barney, resuming from where they had left off. No, Robin loved Barney much, much more than she had admitted to herself up until that moment, and when she saw him that night with the rest of the gang at the bar, she glanced at his blue eyes and told him everything in an averted gaze, a blink, and a mouth that shifted between laughter and tears before settling on a warped line.
It was not even acceptance of her feelings that crushed her resolve, but also the knowledge that Barney felt the same way. She knew. He lovedher, too. Her certainty rose and swelled. And she ached for a confession from him, because even after all of this time, she was scared to make the first move. And besides, she had been the last one to put herself out there, with the lingerie and Patrice incident. It was his turn, and Robin was certain Barney would rise to the occasion.
So with this tingling secret, this nervous excitement, Robin spent the next three days waiting and trusting. Daydreams of their reunion increased, but so did quiet and hesitant doubts. It was a terrifying few days, but ones that she hoped one day to look back on and smile. The agony was of the bearable sort because of this.
On the fourth evening, however, the night of nights, all of her doubts became validated. Because Ted, sweet and well-meaning romantic he was, told her about Barney's plan.
"Barney's getting engaged."
She was a fool.
To think, to dream, to believe that Barney had something up his sleeve for her, that they would be reunited by some sort of master con of his, was such a foolish dream, the sort high school students expected for prom invitations or grand romantic explorations. It was not, however, suitable for two grown adults who had spent the two past years dancing circles around one another. Robin felt humiliated and heartbroken. Barney really did love Patrice, and she had to face fully that reality.
Therefore, as Ted encouraged her to stop Barney, confess her feelings, and do whatever else such a grand romantic gesture required, she attempted to dissuade him. It had been a month of misery for her, and even if it weren't under the best circumstances, she believed this proposal would bring closure of some sort, forcing her to grant Barney happiness with someone else.
Robin came to this conclusion, and yet she refused to accept it. Her tenacious grip to whatever she had wanted had always been a blessing, giving her an excellent career and great friends, but now she wished she could force herself to forget, because there was certain bliss in willing ignorance.
She saw this all and understood, and prepared to walk herself down the bitter path of remorse and regret, but Ted refused to stop preaching the opposite. In a cracking voice, Ted persuaded her. "So I say to you, from the heart, get the hell out of this car." And Robin loved him all the more for it.
Her steps up to the roof were slow and weighted. The door was heavy, and she struggled to push it open. The night air was cold, and clouds threatened snowfall later. The paper lying on the ground, waiting for her, was thick and smooth. The play confused her even as she understood. And Barney stood before her with a smile.
It had been a foregone conclusion.