A/N: This is a parody to a play that I love called Bang Bang You're Dead by William Mastrosimone. I understand Dib may seem a bit OOC. I tried to match him with the starring role as well as I could. Some lines are from the play.
Disclaimer: I don't own Invader ZIM. Nickelodeon does. *grumbles incoherently* And Bang Bang You're Dead is owned by William Mastrosimone. I don't want to own Kya. But I guess I do, dangit! And the words written in bold and italic
Dib sat in his cold, hard, dark cell. He smirked, for he had just made history an hour ago. Nobody would underestimate him now, would they? No one would mock him. No one would disrespect him. They'd all fear him now. Man, Dib, you have it all going for you now…
Then a noise. Dib figured it was just something outside. Footsteps. He heard footsteps. He heard footsteps in his cell! He looked around. "Who's there?!" he asked, trying to fend off whatever was there.
"Me."
"Me too."
"Me three."
"Eh…me as well."
"Huh? Oh! ME!"
Dib jumped. With each 'me' lit up five different faces. Five faces. Each of those he had killed. Why were they here? Stupid, hello! These are ghosts! You believe in those, remember?
"Why, Dib? Why did you kill me?"
"Why me?"
"Why us?"
"Why them?"
"Why you?"
Dib backed up. "Why? Because you deserved it, that's why!" He then saw the face of his own sister. Being as gothic as she was, she had definitely never looked this scary. To be honest, she looked like a demon that came straight from the fires from the deepest pits of Hell! "I listened to you, Dib. I did. For 15 years, I listened to you. This is how you pay me back?" Gaz grabbed his shirt collar and glared at him. He pushed Gaz back only to bump into another victim of his.
This time it was Zita, the girl who had always called him crazy. She started the skool's daily mocking of him.
"You did seem crazy to tell you the truth, Dib. Everyone thought so, as you have figured out. Why'd you have to kill me?" she said coldly.
"You especially deserved it. You called me crazy! You introduced me as crazy to everyone! It's your fault!" Dib said, his face growing redder by the minute.
"No. It's yours. You made it happen, Dib, not us!" said another. It turned out to be Keef, a red-head super annoying guy in Dib's 6th grade class. He had gotten more mature over the years, yet he still could be thoroughly annoying.
"Pssh…" Dib said, rolling his eyes. "Well if it weren't for all of you, I wouldn't have done it now would I?"
"You were always one for excuses, stink-beast."
There stood Dib's enemy. Dib loved this. He had defeated ZIM. He had won. "Well, I got you didn't I? I won! Face it. You lost. You're a loser, ZIM!"
"You call this grotesque place a win? Heh. That's pitiful, Earth boy!" ZIM snickered, coming closer.
"Why are you here? Shouldn't you be wherever death leads you?" Dib asked, clearly confused.
"We are wherever death leads us," Zita explained sternly.
"So this is where death leads you? In my jail cell?" Dib inquired, sitting on his cold and hard new bed.
"Nope." Gaz smirked. "This is going to be fun…"
"What? That doesn't make any sense!" Dib said. He threw his arms up in frustration. "Where are you, then?"
"In your humongous head, you worm!" ZIM said, stating it like it was obvious.
"I am not schitzo!" Dib yelled. He stood up. What the-? I can't POSSIBLY be insane…Can I?
"You are now!" Gaz smirked, again.
"Well, can you leave me
alone?" Dib asked. He was a little scared now. So now I'm not just a murderer, I'm an INSANE murderer. Great. Just great.
"Not until you tell us why."
"Why did you kill us?"
"Why did you take away all we knew and loved?"
"Why did you dispose me?"
Dib turned the other direction to keep from seeing those he killed. "Go away!" He yelled again, trying to make them disappear. He sensed this attempt would not affect them and he was correct. He turned around a few times to try to get Gaz, Zita, Keef, and ZIM to disappear but to no avail.
"We're going to be here till you tell us why, filthy pig boy!" ZIM snarled, glaring harshly into Dib's eyes.
"ZIM, you know why I killed you!" Dib snapped. "Even while dead you're a moron!"
"Whatever, Filth."
* * * *
"You won't get away with this ZIM! I'll get you back! I swear I will!" Dib yelled one afternoon.
"I doubt that. I AM ZIM!" ZIM raised his hands up in victory before going inside his house.
"Stupid alien…" Dib muttered as he walked back to his house. He kicked a Poop cola can out into a street just to see it get smashed by a car.
As he walked up the path to his house, he noticed his dad's car parked in the garage. Wow, Dad's home. That's rare… he thought while opening the door. Inside his house were three people: His dad, a lady, and a very irritated Gaz.
"Hello Son!" greeted Professor Membrane. "How was your day today?"
"Uh…Dad… You NEVER ask that! What's wrong?" Dib said, staring blankly at the lady.
Professor Membrane chuckled. "Don't be silly!" Then he turned to the lady. "That's Dib. He's sixteen. He's a funny one." His face flushed with embarrassment
"Oh I see, dear," the lady said.
DEAR?! Dib panicked. "No, Dad, you couldn't of…" Dib began, but was cut off by his father.
"Dib, this is Kya. She's my …fiancée."
"Great, Dad, just great!" Dib fumed. "All of a sudden you get a girlfriend, date her, then get engaged, and THEN TELL US? What kind of twisted family is this? Let me guess, you're getting married in three weeks!"
"Two," Kya said softly. She looked hurt.
"I hate you…" he mumbled as he ran up the stairs. Gaz shot the two adults an evil glare and followed Dib up the stairs.
* * * *
"Why'd you kill us?"
"Was it because of Kya?"
"Was it your dad?"
"Was it your insanity?"
"How-how do all of you know about Kya besides Gaz?" Dib stuttered. He was amazed about what his classmates knew. How did ZIM know?
"We know all about you."
"Your dreams."
"Your thoughts."
"We know it all, fool!"
"But…how?" Dib asked, trying to comprehend these beings. Gaz rolled her eyes at Dib's remark.
"We already went over this! We're in your head!" Zita explained, irritated. "We know your past. We know your present. We know your deepest, darkest secrets."
"We know everything except why you killed us," Keef said, looking angry instead of his usual blissful look.
Dib shook his head. "But…why? Why do you have to come to me? Couldn't you have figured it out some other way? How come other murderers don't experience these kinds of things?"
Gaz scoffed. "You just don't get it, do you?"
"No, I really don't…" Dib replied.
* * * *
"Hey, look, it's the crazy kid!"
Dib ignored the words that came out of every Hi Skooler's mouth. He pressed on, thinking of what he'd like to do to those who did that to him. He smiled while planning each of their demise.
Yet his sister was a different case. She had no friends, like Dib. She wasn't liked at all, like Dib. Yet anyone who made fun of or ticked Gaz off would experience horrible consequences that seemed like it came straight from Hell itself.
Gaz never defended Dib and Dib never defended Gaz. They both had their own problems, but Dib was the only one open enough to share his feelings with someone else. Although Dib felt Gaz ignored him, she listened. It was all that she could listen to anyhow.
But Dib started talking to Gaz not only of the paranormal, but now of how cool it would be to see all who mocked him dead. The thought was quite appealing to him.
"I swear, someday I'm going to teach them all, along with ZIM. I'll blow them up-" Dib spoke, but was interrupted by his sister.
"Blow them up? That's a REALLY good idea. What're you going to do? Stick a bomb in them?" Gaz said sarcastically.
"Well, at least I'll make them go away…"
Make them go away…
They won't condemn you anymore.
They won't be able to, now will they?
Kill them.
Dib grinned. Oh how great that day will be! he thought as he walked along the street by his house. He opened the door to find Kya and his dad. Instead of greeting them, he walked up the stairs and ignored them.
"Son, please?"
He continued to ignore them along with Gaz. She glared at them for a moment before following her brother up the stairs. "I hate her!" Dib said, referring to his new step-mom. Dib refused to go to the wedding, but was forced. He sat in the back with Gaz, whom was also reluctant. Just what they needed, another parent that lacked in the 'providing attention' area.
While Dib was upstairs, he planned another adventure to break into ZIM's base. He tried to sneak downstairs so his step-mom wouldn't hear him go out. Unfortunately for Dib, he was caught.
"Where are you going?" asked Kya, concerned about her step-son's whereabouts.
"Somewhere."
"At eleven o'clock at night?"
"I'm sixteen."
"So? Your father won't be happy about this."
"It's not like he cares."
"Of course he does!"
"Yeah, right," snapped Dib, irritated that Kya was always on his back. He opened the door.
"Dib, don't!" Kya pleaded. "I'll tell your father about this!"
"You're not in charge of me! You're not REALLY my mom. Remember that!" And with that, Dib slammed the door.
* * * *
And that, my friends, is the end of chapter one! I'm hoping to make this a really long fanfiction. Review please. Like I said in my other fic, don't insult me randomly of how bad this fic is. Tell me what I did wrong and how I fix it.