It was dark in the church when the bald, mole-like man with the crooked back waddled into the cramped little storage room that held the fuses. #24 was out, leaving it dark in the choir loft, so he had the replacement ready in his withered arthritic hand.
When he swung the metal door of the fuse box open, something black jumped at him from the corner. It proved to be too much for his heart, and he slumped to the floor.
The fuse rolled out into the narthex.
The morning afterwords, in the back of the property, a blue London police box faded into existence on top of a meticulously trimmed yard in between a seldom used playground and a decaying yellow school bus. The thing had made a number of weird tearing sounds, then the door swung open, and a bald black man stepped out.
The man wore a tank top, an imitation leopard vest and stripey pants like an eighties rock band reject. A shrew-like white woman with glasses and a business suit stepped out after him, staring at the building.
"Where are we, Doctor? Is this Earth?"
The man waved at a garish red and yellow structure standing across the intersection. "What other planet besides Rigus 85 has a McDonalds franchise?"
She squinted at the fire station. "I'm guessing the Thames isn't anywhere close to here, is it?"
"No."
She frowned at a church sign advertising vacation bible school. "What are we doing here, pray tell?"
"I thought we'd do some volunteer work."
The woman laughed. "You? Aside from being far too busy saving the universe from everything under the sun, and the sun itself, I never took you for the religious type. Didn't you say the bible is ridiculous and full of contradictions?"
"My life is ridiculous and full of contradictions. The amount of times I almost died...someone's got to be looking out for me."
She stared at him in shock. "So you're going to help."
Without a word, the man marched up to the back door, pushing it open.
"Doctor!" the woman called, stomping after him.
A moment later, they were in the main office, and the man was handing the gray haired secretary at the desk something that looked like a passport.
The secretary stared at it for a minute, then grinned at him. "This is a very impressive resume, Mr. Banks. Pastor Tom was just talking about a vacation. Maybe you can take over a couple Sundays."
"That's...really okay, maam."
She frowned at his outfit. "Right, you're more of a youth minister, aren't you?"
The Doctor shrugged. "More or less."
"We don't have many young adults or youth right now, but we do have a few, and we'd love it if you brought in some more." She smiled at the Doctor's companion. "So what's your name?"
"Joann. I'm his assistant."
"Is there anything I can help you out with today?"
She shrugged. "Your resume says you are HVAC certified. Can you fix our air conditioner?"
Joann adjusted her collar. "You know, now what you mention it, it is kind of hot..."
"Gladly. Show me where it is."
Joann followed the two down a staircase, down a hallway, and into a boiler room, where the Doctor immediately set about opening panels and waving around a little rod with a glowing end about inside the machinery.
"These copper fittings look new."
"The old ones got stolen. We had to call the police on one of our helpers."
"That's not very Christian," said Joann.
"Let's just put it this way. They weren't a bit sorry for what they did. The good Lord says to forgive, but he doesn't say you have to be stupid."
"Anything else unusual?"
"I wouldn't say copper theft is that unusual, Mr. Banks, but we did have an elder who got sent to the hospital after he saw something in the usher's room. He said it was a dog, but that's not the strange part. What's strange is he came in with a pacemaker, and he came out not needing it."
"Good doctors!" Joann exclaimed.
"I have heard some very good things about the hospital down the street from here," the Doctor muttered.
"Actually, all the doctors did was remove his pacemaker before it caused a fatal heart valve malfunction. They said for some reason he now has the heart of a teenager. Can you believe that?"
"Did he get a transplant?"
"Not that anyone knows about!" The secretary shook her head. "It's a miracle. That's the only thing I can think of to explain it. Martin must have someone looking out for him, that's all I know."
"So you've got an angel."
"A slimy angel," the Doctor muttered as he continued probing the depths of the ventilation system. "Have you heard any strange noises?"
"Um, there has been a strange loud buzzing sound. Something wrong with the PA system, I figure. We've checked it several times, but we can't seem to find the source of the problem. Funny thing is, it only seems to happen during hymns, like...something is singing along with us."
Surprised by the news, Doctor tried stand too suddenly, banging his head on an aluminum vent. He rubbed his bald head, his voice reflecting more excitement than injury. "At what times are your services?"