You Never Knew Me
"All of this," L sighed. "All of this right here, between us, nobody can know." Near twirled his hair, attempting to appear indifferent.
"What? Why?" Mello cried into L's pant leg. L patted the young boy's head. He was growing up right before his eyes, but even still it was okay to cry sometimes. He knew how they felt. When he'd figured out what he was going to tell them he too cried.
"I'm going to be a detective," L explained, sitting down on the floor next to a teary eyed Matt. He scooped up the small boy and brought him closer so that he could rest his head on L.
"We know! You already told us," Mello laughed, choking on a sob. L reached out to wipe a crocodile tear from his cheek. L looked over to Near. He was still working on his puzzle and pretending as though he didn't care. His lack of emotion was admirable. L smiled.
"Come join us Near," he insisted. The young boy looked up from the five hundred piece puzzle only to purse his lips together. "Suit yourself. I'm telling you this because I'm going to be going after dangerous people and they'll want to kill those dearest to me. If anyone asks, you say that you only know me from lessons, okay?"
"But you hardly ever teach lessons," Matt mumbled into the collar of his shirt as he dug his face into it. L looked down and grinned at the little boys.
"Then you tell them that you don't know me, you never knew me," he explained, taking a moment to look at each of the boys' faces. Mello dutifully nodded, Matt merely did not object and Near wasn't paying attention.
The room remained a serene silent for a while as each of the boys took their turns to stare at just barely the adult L. He had grown to be a father figure in the boys' lives but he knew that he must abandon them for their own safety. It was bad enough that he would put his life in danger every day, but it was just frivolous to put their brilliant lives in danger too. Honestly, he cared too much for them to know them. Watari had prompted him to break contact, but he already knew it was his duty to put their lives above his own. Of course he wanted their bright smiles in his life, but from now on it would be him and him alone.
"Will we ever see you again?" Near spoke in a monotone. L looked up into the small boy's black eyes. He knew that Near was the closest in personality to himself, but that alone did not reassure L that he was leaving them capable enough. He'd been teaching them the tricks of the trade, but would his emotionless analyzing be enough to hold his life together? There were no words that he could say that would reassure the silent genius. L stood up, carefully patting Matt on the shoulder and went to lift the tiny Near off the ground. He did not struggle in L's arms, as it was where he'd spent the vast majority of his childhood. L lifted him to his hip and looked into his far too familiar eyes.
"I'd never leave you completely," he swore. Near nodded. "I probably can't contact you much here at Wammy's, but Watari will help you get in contact with me. Maybe I can call you from time to time," L explained. Near did not react. "Would you like that?"
"Yes! You can call me L!" Mello screamed; his face was streaked with tears once more. Matt was silent, fiddling with the hem of his striped shirt. L nodded.
"Near," L whispered, lifting the tiny five year-old boy higher in the air. He, at last, was forced to stare into the fathomless depths of his mentor's eyes. "One day I'll come back. I promise, I'll come back and teach you everything that you want to know," L swore, his eyes beginning to involuntarily water. Near's lips turned upwards slightly.
"Pinky promise?" he asked, to be sure. Near held out his little chubby hand for L to take. L chuckled and swiped a tear away. For the first time in his life he felt like he had a reason to live. He would do everything in his power to preserve his own life just for these boys. He'd do it just for the only family he ever had.
L wrapped his long, spindly pinky finger around Near's little one. He locked eyes with the fair haired child and smiled.
"I promise."
Just a quick little one-shot! I hope you enjoyed :) I think I'll write more about this grouping... As always REVIEW, FAVORITE and READ my other stories! Thanks!