Star Trek TOS: Dat's vhat ve do
The last few weeks on the Enterprise had been very boring. So, the crew was entertaining themselves with mock elections, pitting crew members against each other in various categories. And the results were in for the Enterprise crew member who is the most humorous, beating Montgomery Scott by two votes was: Mr. Spock.
The results were displayed on the forward view screen. "I demand a recount." Shouted Capt. Kirk as he pounded the arm rests on the command chair.
McCoy rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, "Spock, most humorous? In a pigs eye."
Scotty, at the engineering station was too over whelmed with emotion to make a concession speech.
At Com, Uhura mumbled, "Time to put in for a transfer."
Sulu turned to Capt. Kirk and asked, "Sir, request permission to go to my safe space."
Spock simply arched an eye brow and said, "A most illogical, irrational result. Considering I did not consent to have my name entered for consideration. However, I will endeavor to make the Enterprise more humorous."
Chekov was working quietly at the nav. station. He could sense every ones eyes burning into his back. He turned around slowly, and, sure enough, every one was staring at him.
"Vhat?" he asked. "Oh, I geet it. I'm Russian. So derefore you tink I enterfeerd vith the election. You should be ashamed of yourselves. Russians have great reespect for the integrity of elections. Oh, dere vas dat von incident in 2016. But dat vas proved to be an accident caused by a leetle old lady outside Vladivostok vhen she tried to down load Hillary's chocolot chip cookie recipe and got 1,000's of sensitive e-mails. Von leetle incident, and ve're stuck vith dat lable."
He turned back to his station. A moment later he noticed Sulu was still staring at him with that suspicious grin on his face.
"Vhat?" He whispered. "Of course I deed it. I'm Russian, dat's vhat ve do."